The Diary of Hermione Granger by Sapphire Rose

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 08/08/2003
Last Updated: 16/12/2004
Status: In Progress

This is a new short fic I wrote! I have decided if it will be a full length fic so we'll see
where this actually goes! Anyway this is basically the diary entries of Hermione Granger as the
title says. It refers and will eventually end up being the Harry and Hermione pairing...obviously
lol. Please Read, Rate and Review!




1. Dear Diary
-------------

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and
Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Hey everyone! Now I know I'm supposed to be working on my other story but I strayed
from it a bit and wrote this. I haven't decided whether or not I'll develop this into a
full length story somehow but that's up to you, the readers. If you like what you read I will
write more later on. This is just a short fanfic from Hermione's point of view. It isn't
connected to my other story but it's once again referring to the Harry and Hermione pairing, so
if you don't like it then don't bother reading it. I would really love it if everyone who
read could review this so I can see what the reaction is. Anyway now introducing my short story,
hope you all enjoy it!

Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

~*~*~*~

The Diary of Hermione Granger

Chapter 1/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

*Dear Diary,*

*Lately I've found myself constantly distracted, I don't understand it. Ever since I
stepped on Platform 9 and ¾ I haven't been able to get him off my mind. He changed so much over
the summer and I found myself unable to keep my eyes off him. He had grown in height and seemed to
gain some muscle tone over the break. And those eyes; those amazing, captivating green eyes that
bore into my own with a smile.*

*I don't understand this at all. For the past six years he has been nothing more than my
best friend. Someone I have gone to when I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone I have to listen to
me. And now all of a sudden, one look or smile and he's able to make my knees grow weak? Why do
I feel this way? What does all this mean?*

*In six years, Harry, Ron and I have stood up against evil itself. Harry's life is
constantly in danger and so are Ron and mine by association. No matter what though, Ron and I have
stood by him. I would never leave his side and I don't plan to ever. These types of feelings
have always been around, but they were never this strong.*

*I'll admit that when I witnessed him dating other girls I felt a bit jealous. But I
don't understand why. Why did I always feel the pane of jealously when he was obviously in the
arms of another girl? Maybe it's because I don't want to see him get hurt but that
doesn't make any sense. And he never did stay with any girl too long. He didn't even seem
that interested in them that much either.*

*Still this doesn't explain to me what I'm feeling. Could it be possible that there
was more to it then friendship? He always seemed to bring a smile to my face. Always the first and
last thought I had before I woke up or went to bed. When he was hurt I couldn't bare it.
He's on my mind always and I can't stop thinking about him, I think my stomach does flips
when any contact comes between us. A simple brush of the hands, or a light kiss on the cheek, or
receiving a hug and I can't stop smiling hours after.*

*Here I am back to where I started, still with no answer. Why do I feel the way I do? This is
absolutely confusing me to no end. I feel I should know this answer. Could it maybe, possible mean,
that just MAYbe I love him? Not just as a friend but more? It couldn't be, could it? I'm
his best friend; he would never feel the same way towards me, would he?*

*So many unanswered questions are roaming through my head and I know I'm not going to be
able to figure them all out now. Could the famous Harry Potter see more to dull bookworm that I am?
I honestly don't know, he's also dating Lisa Turpin now from Ravenclaw, so he couldn't
possibly see me in that light now…but I wish he did for some reason.*

Hermione set he quill down on her desk while closing her diary. Replacing the charms back on the
book to keep prying eyes away she put it back in her top compartment of her desk. A sigh escaped
her as she tried to calm her mind with all her new revelations.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well that's it; I hope you all enjoyed it. As I said it was short and if you liked what
you saw then I'll continue with it. I haven't decided if I'll make it into a full
length story. So tell me what you thought by writing a review. I'm still working on my other
story but this was to keep you busy for a while. I promise to get the next chapter of my other
story out soon. So please Read, Rate and Review. Thanks!

Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

~*~*~*~

Created on ... August 08, 2003



2. September 29th
-----------------

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and
Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well since so many of you want me to continue with this idea I will. This story will be my
outlet for my other one when I can't figure out what to write lol. Since I'm going to
continue writing this a few points need to me made. First off the chapters will most likely be
short so bare with me. I'm writing this story as if it's really her diary. Second there
won't be any plot really, it will only be from Hermione's point of view as the events in
her Diary unfold. Her Diary will include the Harry and Hermione pairing because it's one of my
favorites. I may stray from Hermione's entries sometimes and write from Harry's point of
view so we can see what he thinks. Depends really on where I would like to go with this. The rating
may change as well since I may want to describe the more intimate moments between Harry and
Hermione in detail lol. With that said thank you so much to ALL the good feedback I've been
getting with this! If you like my writing also visit my other works on the site. I've been
rambling on long enough so on with the story!

Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

~*~*~*~

The Diary of Hermione Granger

Chapter 2/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

*September 29th*

*Dear Diary,*

*I don't know what I'm going to do; it just isn't fair at all! Why must it be HIM
I'm in love with? Why couldn't it be anyone else BUT him? Well I've figured it out;
I'm in love with my best friend. Thank Merlin no one else, especially Ron and Harry haven't
noticed it yet. I think I've been in love with Harry longer then I'm even willing to admit.
I've tried to deny it for a while now, but it just isn't working. It really doesn't
even matter if I admitted it; he's dating Lisa, NOT me. It's too late; he would never
consider me girlfriend material. I'm his best friend; I'm the person he goes to for the
"book work." I don't even think he noticed that I'm a girl. Don't get me
wrong, I love the fact that he can talk to me about anything, but it's so frustrating. How can
I possibly be so close to him and not seem like anything is wrong with me? Now that I've
admitted my feelings to myself I'm not going to be able to act normal around him. What am I
going to do?*

*Knowing Harry he'll notice something is wrong with me eventually if I start to seem
distant. But how can I not be? He's dating Lisa; I don't know how many times I've said
that to myself already. If it were only me and NOT her. It wouldn't matter anyway since I'm
only considered a best friend. He knows me inside and out, he knows almost everything there is
about me. Ron does as well but Harry is the one I go to for everything. Don't get me wrong Ron
is a great friend but he isn't the type to go to when you have a problem. If the situation
becomes too emotional Ron would feel uneasy about it. That's another thing, who will I go to
now? I can't exactly tell Harry what's bothering me because he practically IS the problem.
Not him really, but the fact that I'm in love with him. I can't exactly tell Lavender
because she would probably tell Ron, who would tell Harry. Ginny maybe, but she still has that
crush on Harry. It's almost non-existent at this point because I can tell Ginny has her heart
set on someone else. But who that is I'm not exactly sure. It's almost as if I'm alone
in this situation. Oh well, somehow I'll figure out a way to cope with it all, I hope.*

*If someone would have told me I would have fallen in love with my by best I would have said
they were crazy. I've been denying it for the longest time now. Now that I look back I
can't believe I didn't see it earlier. The thing is I don't love him because of his
fame; I love him because of the person he is. I love everything about him; the way he makes me feel
when I'm around him, the way he makes it seem I'm the only person around when we're
talking, how adorably sweet he can be at times. I don't think I could possibly list all the
reasons why I love him. I can't even fully describe what love I feel for him; there just
aren't enough words in existence for it to be possible. He's always able to keep me
distracted, the only one that can actually get me to step away from my studies. I don't know
what I would do without him. There isn't a day that goes by where I can't imagine a future
without him right there.*

*But unfortunately for me he could never possibly feel the same way towards me, and it's
completely unfair. Why couldn't I be the one and only for him, why isn't it me? I don't
think I'll ever be able to tell him how I feel, even though I want nothing more then to scream
it out to the whole world. Back in our forth year when that article in the Daily prophet was
written about Harry and I, I have to admit I was flattered. Even though it wasn't true I
couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if I really were dating him. I wasn't even
upset by the article. I have had my share of boyfriends, but I've never felt anything like this
towards any of them. I wasn't serious with any of them, although I was hurt by the way Justin
cheated on me back in our sixth year. And lo and behold the person I ran to was Harry. Whenever a
dark cloud surrounded me, he would be the light that guided me to a better day. I want nothing more
then to be able to run to him again and pour my heart out to him, but I can't. If I did would
he run away or would he stay by me? I want him to hold me in his arms and never let me go.*

*When he looks at me, there's just a mask covering up my true emotions. He doesn't see
what lies beneath my outlook. Although if he did look closely enough he would be able to tell.
Harry was always able to see what I felt. I'm not as strong as I let on; the bookworm everyone
sees isn't really the person I am. Underneath that portrait lies a girl who isn't as strong
as she makes out. Inside it tears me apart when I see Harry with another girl. Everyday it's
like I'm playing a role and the role everyone sees is someone that's always in control. But
when I'm alone, or when I write in you Diary the real me is able to come out. Here is where I
write my true feelings. As long as no one is able to figure out what I'm feeling I'll be
fine. At least out loud I won't say I'm in love, for now.*

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well that's it for this diary entry, a bit depressing I know but I'm in this odd
mood. Inspiration for this chapter came from Whitney Huston's "I Want to Run to You"
and from the Disney Song "I Won't Say I'm in Love" from Hercules. Even though it
may have been a bit depressing I hope you enjoyed it anyway. There will definitely be more to come
after this, so don't worry. Just keep the reviews coming and I'll continue writing this if
everyone likes what I'm doing with this. Once again thanks for all the good reviews so far.
Don't forget to keep on Reading, Rating and Reviewing!

Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

~*~*~*~

Created on ... August 10, 2003



3. October 5th
--------------

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and
Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

~*~*~*~

A/N: I can't believe all the response I'm getting with this story! It wasn't even
like I was planning to continue this; it was just a random idea I came up with one night and just
wrote for fun. Just a reminder this is a Harry and Hermione pairing, if you don't like the
pairings then don't bother reading it in the first place. Her Diary entries may seem a bit
depressing but I promise you it will all be worth it in the end. This chapter will also have a bit
of Harry's viewpoint in it in the form of his own thoughts as he views Hermione from a
distance. There really isn't much else to be said so on with the story!

~*~*~*~

The Diary of Hermione Granger

Chapter 3/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

*October 5th*

*Dear Diary,*

*I don't know what I've gotten myself into, it's absolute torture! I haven't
been able to concentrate on my work during class, I find myself staying up into late hours of the
night just trying to get all my work done. Normally I wouldn't have any problems with my
assignments but this is a completely different matter. I have always been one to get my work done
on the first try but as of recent I haven't been able to. And the reason for this drastic
change is because of the incredibly, distracting Harry Potter. Why does he have to so damn cute? I
swear my eyes have never left him for a second; they're always on him and nothing else.*

*As of late I have been trying to hide my true feelings, which is harder then most people
think. He's always so kind and caring towards me, always worrying about my well being. My lack
of sleep hasn't gone unnoticed by him either and he's approached me about it constantly. I
have of course told him time and time again that there is nothing wrong and he shouldn't be
worried, but does that stop him? I don't think so, and he's probably told Ron as well, but
Ron tends to be too distracted by his own relationship with Lavender. I swear that boy can't
keep his hands off the girl for more then two seconds. Is it just me or does everyone seem to be in
some form of a relationship? EVEN Neville has a girlfriend! I admit I have been asked on a few
dates by acceptable males of the student population but then I think of Harry and I just can't
go out with them. I tried to go out with a few of them, to seem as though nothing is wrong but the
minute we step out of the castle I'm already bored with my date and wish I was with Harry
instead.*

*But the chance of that happening now is slim to none. He's dating L-I-S-A for the
millionth time. Does that stop me from wanting me to be more then just friends with Harry though?
Not in the least bit. I'm utterly and completely in love with the one and only Harry Potter, my
best friend. But even if I know all this it doesn't stop the pain I feel in my heart every time
I see them together. Every time I see them I feel my heart sinking lower into my chest, to be
honest I don't think I even feel it there anymore. My heart is practically being ripped out
from my chest and yet I still move on. Even if I seem fine on the outside, in reality I'm
breaking down inch by inch. Why does love have to hurt so much anyway? I know Harry would never do
anything to hurt me but he basically is, and when he asks what's wrong how am I supposed to
tell him what's hurting me is him of all people?*

*So to solve this problem I've made it my top priority to avoid Harry as much as I can,
but make an appearance every now and then. Although I miss his company tremendously, he was always
great to have around and to have someone listen to anything I would say. I don't understand why
he doesn't find me boring, it's not like what I'm saying is that interesting. I've
been spending most of my time in the library, using my excuse for studies constantly. Harry knows I
don't like to be interrupted when I'm studying for exams, but that doesn't stop him
from trying. And to top it all off I have trouble telling him to leave me alone so I can work, but
I find myself wanting to actually take him up on his invitations to take a break from my work. I
would rather be with Harry more then anything else in the world and yet I still decline. Eventually
he would leave me alone but does he realize how much I want him to keep trying, to stay, so that I
could be with him even longer? Probably not since to him I may seem completely determined to finish
my work and rationalizes my actions in his mind.*

*All I want to do is just close my eyes and imagine a place where everything was different. A
place where Harry and Lisa aren't together, a place where Harry and I can be together forever
and nothing can come between us at all. All I want to do is live in my perfect dream world and
never have to wake up from that perfect dream. Because I know my reality will never end up that
way. When I open my eyes I will face the truth of my reality. Harry is with Lisa and not me and I
have to deal with that. How am I going to get through the rest of the year?*

~*~*~*~

*Harry's Thoughts*

*Once again Hermione was in the library, how can she spend all her time studying and never
taking a break? I know something is wrong with her, and she's worrying me to death. But when I
ask her what's wrong she always has the same answer, 'nothing.' How am I supposed to
help her when she won't tell me what's wrong? She's my best friend, I want to help her
more then anything but she won't let me in, why is that? Doesn't she notice that there are
people that care about her, that I want to help her? I want to be able to comfort her, and shield
her from any harm that could come to her. When she's like this a part of me seems to go with
her. Her smile and beautiful face never fails to leave a smile on my face.*

*Right now I'm sitting in the library, not to work though. I actually came to see what
Hermione was up to and since she's always in the library I sat a few tables away from her
pretending to work on something or other. Really I'm constantly surveying her movements to try
and figure out what's actually going on with her. I've noticed the how she always seems to
bit the bottom of her lip when she's concentrating on something or how this one strand of hair
always seems to shade those striking brown eyes of hers. And yet I still have no clue as to
what's wrong with her.*

*To top it all off I've been neglecting Lisa. Ever since I began to notice something wrong
with Hermione, it's been my goal to figure it out. Lisa noticed I haven't been spending as
much time with her as I normally have but I can't spend my time with Lisa when I know something
is wrong with Hermione. Lisa may be my girlfriend but Hermione has been my best friend since first
year and that friendship means more to me then any girlfriend. I don't know what's going on
with my relationship with Lisa either. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong between us,
but every time I'm with her a part of me starts to imagine someone else in her place. Who that
someone else is, I have no idea. Lisa is fun to hang around with, but I don't think she's
someone I would date. I think I would rather have her as a friend rather then my girlfriend. But if
that's the case who am I really supposed to be with?*

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well that's chapter three, I know it took forever for me to post it but what do you
think. I thought Harry's thoughts would add a little extra something to the story. Give you all
someone else's point of view lol. What I want to know though is if you want me to continue with
Harry's thoughts as well? Maybe even add a little Ron in there, but most likely not since
he's too busy to notice the situation (Lavender can be very distracting lol.) Since college for
me has started it may be a while before I'm able to post more so while I have time now I'll
try to get out as much as I can. Anyway thanks for all the reviews once again, and I can't wait
to see what the response is for this. Don't forget to Read, Rate and Review!!

~*~*~*~



4. October 16th
---------------

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and
Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well yes I know it seems like forever for me to actually post anything to this story and
even longer for my other but I'm still settling into college life and such and getting the work
done on time. I'll most likely only be able to post new chapters on the weekends since that
seems to be when I have a spare moment, and inspiration has actually come finally lol. Just a
reminder this is a Harry and Hermione pairing, if you don't like the pairings then don't
bother reading it in the first place. I know I'm torturing you all with the way things are
going between Harry and Hermione, but I feel a need to actually keep going with what I have because
I don't want to rush it. So bare with me at this point and I promise to make the ending of this
even sweeter for you all. Harry's thoughts will be put in every now and then but not often, as
for other characters making an appearance I'm unsure of. Anyway as usual thanks to all the
great response and I'm trying to get these chapters out faster! Keep reading and reviewing!

~*~*~*~

The Diary of Hermione Granger

Chapter 4/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

*October 16th*

*Dear Diary,*

*I can't take this anymore, I just feel so empty and yet I look each day at the world with
a smile on. Why must everything between us be so difficult? Why can't he see that the person
standing before him cares for him more then the friend he sees? Why can't he see that past the
friend that there lies a girl, a girl that's in love with a boy who's blind? He doesn't
see what this is doing to me; he doesn't see how I hurt inside, how I yearn for his affection.
I promised myself that I wouldn't break, that I would stay strong and keep these feelings to
myself but I find that is harder to do as time goes by.*

*I spend the nights lying awake, staring up at a blank ceiling contemplating all the thoughts
in my head. As of late I have noticed there has been some distance created between Harry and Lisa.
I'm not sure what's going on but I hope everything works out. Even though a part of me
wishes it would all fall apart. As I fall asleep I dream and when I dream everything is so perfect
because I dream of him right there, holding me. In that dream world all my fears escape me. I hear
the gentle lullaby of a singing bird, singing softly and all I want to do is sleep forever. I lone
to have him there, to have him hold me, to have him to kiss me. Although I may not be with him, I
hope that he may dream of me as I dream of him.*

*The upcoming Quidditch match is this weekend and Gryffindor plays against Slytherin. The
ongoing rivalry continues between the two of these houses. It should be an exciting game but I
don't know if I'll go. Harry is the Seeker for Gryffindor and even though I love watching
him play I think I just may get some extra work done. As you can probably tell I've been trying
to avoid Harry for a while now. I've been getting used to being alone by myself most of the
time. But I can't keep this up forever because eventually I'll have to face this. But
I'm going to keep avoiding this as long as I can. This is for the best and I know I'm doing
the right thing…right? Just great now I'm starting to doubt myself. I miss spending time with
my friends, especially Harry. I just don't see any other way to get through this without
talking to him.*

*Maybe I should just tell Harry everything; he was always a good listener. And ever since
he's noticed me isolate myself from everyone he's tried to approach me. But what happens if
I tell him and he starts pushing me away, telling me he's with Lisa and never speaks to me
again? I know Harry's not that type of person but still I can't help but think the worst.
Then again if I did tell and he was fine with it I could be around him and he would understand my
feelings and I want him to understand how I feel. As I've said before I always want to let him
in and never have to build walls around. Even though I'm independent and I can do things on my
own, I need Harry around.*

*He's my best friend and he's never let me down ever. He understands everything about
me and he's always there to catch me when I'm about to fall. No matter how much I try to
push him away a part of him will always stay. Even though I cannot be with him I wish him all the
happiness in the world, I hope he has everything he wants in life. But if he loses his way and
stray from the path all he would have to do is look back. I'll always be there for him no
matter what may happen to me. I'll always be his friend first and foremost.*

~*~*~*~

*Harry's Thoughts*

*I don't know how long she can keep distancing herself from the rest of us. I know
there's something bothering her so why can't she just come to me and we can work this out
together like we always do? Every single day I try to talk to her but she brushes me away one way
or another. Is she purposely avoiding me? I'm actually starting to believe she is but I
don't understand why she's doing that. I've talked to Lavender and Ginny but they have
no idea what's wrong with Hermione. They've noticed the same things I have.*

*She's like an android, she wakes up, goes to her classes, eats, sleeps, and studies.
That's all she does day in and day out. She spends little to no time with her friends. I miss
her laughter and I even miss her constant nagging to start our homework. But most of all I miss her
smile, that beautiful smile that just lights up her face in all the right ways. That smile has a
million forms and each one does something different to me.*

*But should that be happening? Every time I see that smile I feel something in me stir. Is a
simple smile supposed to have that effect on a best friend? That's been the ongoing question in
my head lately. When Lisa smiles at me it doesn't have the same affect. Lately Lisa and I have
been going our separate ways and I don't think our relationship will last much longer. I
haven't told anyone about this not even Ron. It's true that Ron's my best mate but I
don't think he'd fully understand what I'm thinking. Although I know what he would tell
me, he'd say to do what feels right. The person I'd normally go to for advice like this
would be Hermione but as we all know she's avoiding everyone. She'd tell me to do
what's in my heart, she'd tell me to look deep within and find out where your heart lies. I
thought it lied with Lisa but now I'm not so sure.*

*Lately I've been having the same dream. And in the dream I'm somewhere yet I'm
nowhere at the same time. The place is beautiful though and as I look around at all the magnificent
surroundings I noticed someone coming towards me but I never see their face. What could this mean?
Does is mean that I'm meant to be with someone else, that this person whoever she is, is the
one I'm supposed to be with. Although I do remember she was absolutely breath-taking. Something
about her felt so familiar and so comforting. I felt safe in her presence.*

*I don't know what I'm going to do but I think I know what I have to do. I'm going
to have to talk to Lisa and tell her how I feel. I feel bad enough to have her wait around for
something that I can't give her. She deserves someone that can return the feelings she so
willing gives out to others. Although I hate having to do this I must. So this is it, a new
beginning and I have no idea what I'm going to do. All I know is that I'm going to have to
do a lot of thinking. I hope I'm doing the right thing…but somewhere deep down inside I know I
am.*

~*~*~*~

A/N: Yes! I finally got something down on paper. I honestly had an extreme case of writers block
for all my stories but I'm trying to get over that. For those of you who read my other story
I'm currently working on it and I'm at least half way done so expect something within this
month to come out. And I absolutely love to hear what you think of the story so please do keep up
the response in the reviews. I love constructive criticism so I can improve on the stories quality.
Believe it or not I wrote this in one sitting because inspiration just came and I started writing
endlessly. As you can see things with Harry and Hermione are progressing and I do promise to have
them together soon. Once again thank you so much for all the great response!

Sapphire Rose (aka LilyFlower)

~*~*~*~

Created on ... January 12, 2004



5. October 29th
---------------

~*~*~*~

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and
Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Hello again everyone! Yes I finally updated within reasonable amount of time. All those
reviews just made me want to get another chapter out as soon as possible. And I do appreciate all
the constructive criticism I've been getting. I am going to add more detail of Hermione's
day since that seems to be what majority wants. I actually received inspiration for this chapter
around 2am and decided to write. I hope my roommates can forgive me once they've seen what I
can actually come up with. I feel bad for being up but I just had to write to get my mind clear. So
without further ado on with the new addition. Thank you once again for all the great
response…please do keep on reading and reviewing, it's very much appreciated.

~*~*~*~

The Diary of Hermione Granger

Chapter 5/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

October 29th

*Dear Diary,*

*So many things have happened in the past day I have no idea where to begin with it all. I
might as well start with the fact that Gryffindor won their Quidditch match yesterday against
Slytherin. It was an amazing victory; the game only lasted a few hours with Harry catching the
snitch in the end. It had been the first game of the year but everyone around Hogwarts treats this
game as though it were for the Cup. Everyone knows that Gryffindor and Slytherin are major rivals
and the two houses were head to head in almost everything. I'm told it was a game that
shouldn't be missed but my mind wasn't on the game as I watched. I was watching but the
whole time my eyes rested upon the handsome face of Harry, I really do have it bad don't I? I
just can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me mad! Most of the school crowded on
the field to greet the Gryffindor team but I had hung back from the masses surrounding them. I
noticed the crowd parting and Harry came through. Before I had time to realize what was happening
he scooped me put and swung me around, holding me tight. I could swear at that moment my heart
skipped a few beats as he put me down. The smile that he wore was breath taking.*

*Now I know what you're thinking, I was avoiding Harry so why would I show up to his
Quidditch game, the most likely place to run into him? Well last night Harry confronted me and
pulled me aside after dinner. I was originally planning to get in a few more hours of studying
before I went to bed but as you can see those plans were dashed away the moment Harry came up to
me. I was going to make some excuse initially but when I looked into his eyes I noticed something
there. He seemed like a lot was going through his mind but he didn't know how to say it. This
is where I felt ashamed for how selfish I've been acting over the past couple of weeks. I
didn't mean to push Harry away, well then again I did but it was unintentional. I just needed
some space to sort out my feelings and I didn't want to do something I would regret. I decided
to see what Harry wanted to talk about even though part of me wanted to leave and hide in my
corner.*

*We walked outside onto the grounds of Hogwarts and sat by the lake. It was mid-October so it
wasn't too cold out just yet. I always thought this was the perfect temperature, not to hot or
cold. We sat in silence until Harry finally spoke, I remember the words so clearly so I'll
write some of the dialogue for you…*

*'Hermione lately I've noticed you've been distancing yourself from everyone
including me. Now you don't have to tell me what's going on but I would like you to know
that I'm here for you whenever you need to talk to someone. I just miss having you around;
something about you always brings a smile to my face. It's almost as if your smile is what
keeps me going most of the day and lately I haven't seen you smile and I'm worried about
you and so is everyone else.'*

*'I'm so sorry Harry, I've had a lot on my mind and I've just been sorting it
all out. I've missed you too, but I just need some space you know? I'm sorry if that seems
selfish but that's the way I honestly felt. I didn't mean to distance myself that's
just the way it happened.'*

*'It's alright, I don't blame you. Everyone needs some space every now and then.
There are times I just want to lock myself in a room and never be bothered but we know how rare
that happens.'*

*A slight had formed on my lips; Harry was always able to make a serious situation brighter
than it was.*

*'So was this the only reason you wanted to talk to me?'*

*'No, I supposed you can tell I've got a few things on my mind and I don't really
know where to begin.'*

*'Well it's always good to start where you think the beginning is.'*

*'Alright, well since you've been off in your own world I've been spending some
time thinking about a few things. For instance my relationship with Lisa…'*

*There was that word, relationship. I wasn't sure if this was the best thing to be talking
to him about because after all I had feelings for him. For some reason my legs didn't want to
kick in and leave so I stayed and listened to what he had to say, even though the feeling in my
heart was tearing up inside.*

*'Well what had been going on with your relationship with Lisa?'*

*'To be honest I think we've been drifting and it's mostly my fault. Don't get
me wrong Lisa has been wonderful to me but I think I've been so distracted lately. I feel bad
for having her tag along, she deserves better than that. So I wasn't sure exactly what to do,
the again I know what is right I just don't think I can go through with it. I've never
broken up with a girl before and I don't really want to hurt her.'*

*'Talk to her, that couldn't hurt. I'm sure she'll understand you if you just
explain what's going on and then the two of you could come to some sort of agreement and see
where you want things to progress to.'*

*That was the part of the conversation that stood out to me at that moment. You can imagine
what I felt when Harry told me his feelings. I didn't want to seem too happy by the prospects
but I couldn't help myself. I know it's wrong of me to feel this way but all the emotion
I've been feeling had to burst out. So at that moment I decided to make an effort on my part to
keep up appearances. I wasn't ready to tell Harry how I felt, especially if he was on the verge
of breaking up with Lisa. But for the most part this was the greatest news I have heard in a long
time. I know I should be concerned with other people's feelings but I just felt too happy for
words.*

*This was just one small step to remedying the problems that have come up. I promise I
won't sound too depressing anymore and I'll try to be more considerate. One thing is for
sure I'm not going to avoid any of my friends. This is the start of a brand new moment in my
life and I hope it's for the better.*

~*~*~*~

*Harry's Thoughts*

*After speaking to Hermione everything seemed to get better. I don't know what it is but
just talking to her seems to make the world a brighter place. I guess that's something only
certain friends can accomplish especially after they've face all kinds of evils together and
lived to tell the tale. After we spoke Hermione definitely seemed better already, why I don't
know but I'm not going to press the issue just yet. I'm going to give her the space she
wanted but make sure she doesn't fall back into her android state. That wouldn't be good if
she did.*

*As for the relationship side of my life I still haven't spoken to Lisa. I plan to talk to
her soon though because the longer I wait the more guilty I'll feel and I just know it.
Hermione was right I should go talk to her and Lisa is sweet enough to listen to what I have to
say. I don't think we'll go our separate ways in the end, we'll still be friends.
I'm just glad Hermione and I are talking again, that took a lot off my mind. I should be
heading to bed soon because I've got a big day tomorrow. I don't know when I'll speak
to Lisa but I'm going to try to do it soon. As long as I have Hermione I just know everything
is going to end well.*

~*~*~*~

A/N: Well it has been awhile but there is the story for now. As you can see things are turning
up for everyone in the story. I know I may have lost some readers but I hope I've kept enough
loyal ones to keep this story going. So to those who have stuck with me I haven't forgotten you
and I will try to update more often. Currently I'm working on a new chapter for Eternal
Rhapsody so keep an eye out for that one. As for Harry Potter and the Orb of Ter'angreal I
don't know when I'll get around to that one but I'm going to try to update after all it
has been two years. Also a new story should be coming up from me, it's a one chapter fic but
it's long. Once again thanks to my boyfriend for putting up with all my doubts and was kind
enough to read through my story at 2am. He's great isn't he?...lol. But I will leave you
now and I thank you in advance for all the kind reviews I will be getting!

~*~*~*~

Created on ... December 16, 2004