Troubled Love

A/N: This is my first fic that I have posted on portkey, I'd love some feedback. Constructive criticism and the like. But if you hate it please tell me, and tell me why

CHAPTER ONE.

“I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide”

-Slide, Goo Goo Dolls.

“You wanna get married? Let's run away!” He whispered enthusiastically.

“Draco, you know we can't do that!” Ginny whispered back, “There's too much at stake, too much to lose. Too many people to lose.”

“Ginny, come on. You love me don't you?” He smiled as Ginny nodded her head, “then we can do it! I never even thought that love this strong was possible, it's crazy, you bring out the best in me. Your family will understand in time. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I wanna wake up where you are. We've waited long enough.”

---

Ginny looked at her watch for the hundredth time that morning. She was waiting for Harry. He was supposed to meet her an hour ago and take her down to Hogsmeade. This was ridiculous, they had a date and he had specifically told her that he would meet her in the common room and they'd go together. After deliberating for 40 minutes of that hour she decided to just go down to Hogsmeade by herself, pride be damned. They had supposedly been together for almost 2 months, most of which he had forgotten to meet her when planned and he had gone days without even talking to her.

It was a frigidly cold day, wind bit at her face and windswept her hair as she walked towards the Three Broomsticks, looking forward to a butterbeer and the warm atmosphere of the pub, even if she had no one to talk to. Upon entering the cosy pub and ordering a butterbeer from Madam Rosmerta, she turned to find Harry and Hermione deep in conversation. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill over. He was with her again.

She abandoned her butterbeer and fled before Harry could see her. How come whenever she saw him now he was with Hermione? Maybe she was just being paranoid. She was at a crossroads, break up with Harry or give him another chance. She figured that she would sleep on it and then maybe when she had calmed down she could make a rational decision. She trudged the road up to the castle wishing only to sit in the warmth of the common room and think.

------

Hours later she had convinced herself that she had been imagining it and that Harry had things on his mind, that's why he had been forgetting. She was sitting before the fire, back to the portrait hole, doing an excruciatingly hard essay for Snape when Harry and Hermione tumbled through the portrait hole laughing. Harry looked around and declaring the common room empty, kissed Hermione square on the lips. As Ginny turned around Hermione broke the kiss and flung herself into Harry's arms and ran up to her dormitory bidding Harry goodbye, not even noticing Ginny. She felt her heart break as Harry flung himself in an armchair benignly. Ginny swallowed back her sob, tears coursing freely down her face. Wiping away the tears she stood up and cleared her throat, announcing her presence.

“Oh no. Gin, I am so, so sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out like that. But I can't help it; I'm in love with Hermione. I'm sorry that I strung you along like that, I really am, you believe me, don't you?” He pleaded, stumbling over the words.

Ginny gave an imperceptible jerk of the head and walked past him and out of the portrait hole. She kept walking in a numb, detached haze until she reached a long corridor filled with suits of armour that seemed darker than the last. She had no idea where she was and at this confusion all the feelings that she had been trying to outrun had caught up with her and she sunk down the wall, crying her heart out. She must have sat there crying for hours, she was exhausted and quite unwilling to move, she wasn't comfortable exactly but it was fine for now. She jumped at the sound of footsteps at the end of the corridor, momentarily startled. Who would be up this late at night, it must be 3o'clock in the morning. She watched the end of the corridor, praying that it wasn't a teacher, when Draco Malfoy appeared.

She stared at him as he advanced down the corridor towards her; he hadn't noticed her sitting there. Hopefully he'd just walk past. As he got closer and the dim flames flickered over his face she noticed that he looked highly agitated. Suddenly he cast his glance on her and after the initial shock he drew his wand, she drew hers the second she saw him reach for his. After a few seconds he seemed to realise that she wasn't going to curse him. He lowered his wand and so did Ginny. His eyes swept her, taking in her bloodshot, puffy eyes and runny nose, and the peculiar way she was sitting.

“What are you doing down here at this time of night Weasley?” He asked with barely any trace of his trademark sneer.

“What are you doing down here?” She enquired.

He laughed briefly and walked away, neither of them wanted to share their reasons of stalking the corridors so late at night in various moods of disappointment. She slowly stood up and made her way back to her dormitory where she climbed into bed exhausted and let sleep steal peacefully over her brain.

------

She woke up early and let last nights events wash over her, she still couldn't believe it. She did, however, have to admit to herself that the connection between them had vanished a long time ago. She slowly realised that the only reason she had stayed with Harry for so long, especially considering his treatment of her, was because she felt bound to him by duty; she thought that she had to stay with him because he was Harry Potter - The Boy Who Conquered and because that's what her mother wanted. Although she cared for him, she now recognised her feelings as those of a sister. Buried in thought, she vaguely registered that she had to get up. She was starving and about to miss breakfast. She stumbled out of bed, a mark of how physically and emotionally exhausted she was, glad that it was a Sunday.

Walking into the Great Hall, Ginny was relieved to see that neither Harry nor Hermione were present. She quickly ate breakfast, when she was finished she walked into the rainy cold of the castle grounds where she would certainly be alone, summoning her umbrella, to keep herself semi dry. Ginny absolutely loved being outside in the rain, she especially liked to watch the big raindrops hit the water in the Great Lake, watching the ripples caused by the impact. She most of all loved how the rain made everything clean again, washed all the bad away. She stood there, under her gold umbrella, revelling in the fact that the rain was cleansing her insides, washing away all the hurt and calming her. She walked towards the Great Lake, to watch the Giant Squid frolicking on top of the water.

Lo and behold she was not the only one who was in the mood for a watery stroll. Sitting on the bank of the lake was none other then Draco Malfoy. He looked absolutely terrible; his hair wasn't slicked back as usual, he looked like he hadn't slept at all from the profile view she had of him and she could see dark circles under his eyes. For her to be able to see the black circles at all, he must not have slept for days. The worst thing of all about Draco's appearance was his posture, usually so stiff and composed, was so sloppy. He looked like he had a hump on his back. She has hated Draco for the six years that she has been at Hogwarts, but her heart genuinely went out to him. As she thought that, he turned and looked at her, she noticed the look of complete hopelessness in his eyes. Ginny walked slowly towards Draco, giving him the chance to stand and walk away if he wanted to.

“Can I sit?” Ginny asked tentatively.

“If you really want to.” The tone of his voice supporting the look in his eyes.

And so they sat in the rain until it got dark. Neither one of them talked, but found comfort in the presence of the other. The only time the silence was broken was the lightning that struck overhead, so close Ginny was scared to stay any longer. Just as Ginny was about to leave, Draco turned to her, opening his mouth, as if about to speak. Ginny looked intently at him raising her eyebrows in anticipation, wondering what he was going to say. He turned away again, reconsidering what he was going to say. Ginny was disappointed, she knew it was going to be something important, but didn't want to push him.

He turned to her again, “I'm going back up to the castle.”

“Yeah I think I will too.”

They walked up towards the castle, her walking slightly behind him, and both walking in equal silence. The reached the Oak Doors Draco holding the door open for Ginny, she gave him a small embarrassed smile as she stepped into the castle, Draco entering close behind her. Then they both went their separate ways, he towards the dungeons, and her towards Gryffindor tower.

She had missed lunch and dinner. Why? She felt that she somehow had to be there for Draco. It was a strange feeling, she had never felt anything other then dislike for him, and now she wanted to help him? Maybe she was too much of a humanitarian; she always felt the need to help people with their problems. She lay awake for quite a while, trying to think of what could be causing him so much pain, but came up with no likely conclusions. When she finally fell asleep, it was only to succumb to dreams of Draco being chased by faceless things with no one to help in sight but her.

------

She woke up early the next morning, still tired because of the nightmares she had had during the night. She wearily got changed and headed down to breakfast. She had never been down this early before and there were only about fifteen other people in the Great Hall. One of them Ginny noticed was Draco Malfoy. He looked up at her when she walked in and she gave him a warm, semi-watery smile, before finding a seat at the Gryffindor table. She was so surprised to see him at her side after she had bit into a piece of bacon that she swallowed it before she had chewed it, making her splutter.

“Sorry” Draco said, sitting down beside her. “I just wanted to say thanks for yesterday.”

Ginny nearly asked him to repeat what he said, Draco Malfoy, famous for his rudeness and cruelty, thanking her?

“I didn't do anything much.” Ginny told him, still bewildered by his behaviour.

“Well it was what I needed.” Draco replied, “Someone who didn't ask me what's wrong every two seconds.” Adding the last part bitterly.

“Well if you ever do want to talk, the offers there.”

------

She didn't see Draco for another 3 weeks, except for at meals. When she did, it was much like the first time they had met unexpectedly this year. Ginny was on her way to the Owlery, to post a late letter to her Mum and Dad. She came across him, sitting in a dark corridor, much the same way she had been sitting that night when the situation had been reversed. Ginny stopped just before him, wondering if she should say something, wondering if she should sit down when he made the decision for her.

“Remember when you said that if I ever wanted to talk to you I could?” His woebegone voice asked her.

“Yeah, I remember.” Ginny replied.

“Is the offer still good?” He looked up at her, his eyes shining with something a far cry from happiness.

Ginny sat down next to him, letting her actions speak for her. She listened to him as he told the sad tale, into the early hours of the morning. All she could do was stare at him bewildered, sick to the stomach with what he was telling her. She had never heard anything so terribly sad, what he was telling her was like a horror story. And Draco was living it.

“So while some of them were torturing my father, they bashed my mother into a pulp. It wasn't just a few bruises on her arms or anything. They beat her until she died.” Draco's voice cracked and tears streamed down his face, “I couldn't believe it when I heard. Do you know what the worst thing was though? Some sick bastard sent me a picture of my mother on the ground, only recognisable by her long blonde hair; I could tell it was blonde, even though it was matted with blood.”

Draco gave up talking then, sobbing loudly. It was the most heart wrenching thing that she had ever heard. She felt heartsick for him. The only thing she could think to do was to hug him, she hugged him as hard as she could, crying along with him now, hoping that, somehow, it would be enough.

------

She chewed her breakfast slowly; thinking about what had happened the night before, well more like that morning. She was just thinking that she should find him later, when saw him walk into the entrance hall from the Dungeons, and out through the Oak Doors. Abandoning her breakfast, she jumped up to follow him. Walking out into the watery sunlight of the castle grounds, she spotted him sitting at the base of a huge tree. When she reached him she pointed to the spot on the ground next to him, posing a silent question. He gestured towards it in an equally silent response, as she sat down. They shared a few awkward seconds while she decided what to say; somehow she knew he wouldn't want an apology from her.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ginny asked Draco meekly.

Draco just nodded his head in response; she went on timidly, not wanting to pressure him too much.

“Why didn't the Death Eaters come after you, when they went after your parents?"

“I have absolutely no idea at all. They probably don't think I'm worth their time.” He responded dryly.

She studied him; it was like a brief wind had passed across his face. For a moment she could have sworn he looked many years older. Maybe that's what this kind of grief does to you. She realized for the first time how rare it was for a male to be truly beautiful, not `hot' or `cute' but really beautiful. But Draco was, he had the finest features she had ever seen on the opposite sex. But instead of making him look girly, it did the exact opposite, made him look the epitome of manliness. She suddenly found herself staring at his perfect lips, mentally shaking herself out of it; she started noticing other things apart from his face. She noticed the way his t-shirt strained from the defined muscles on his abdomen, the perfect definition on his arms, his strongly shaped thighs and most of all the large, manly bulge that lay on the inside of those thighs.

Ginny was interrupted from her train of thought when he placed his hand over hers and sighed.

“Thanks for last night Ginny. It meant a lot, it really did. I don't have any friends here anymore; it was the parents of those I used to consider friends who murdered my parents.” Draco said all this so solemnly and so quietly that she had to strain her ears to hear him, “I know that you probably don't want to be friends after how horrible I've been to you all these years, but it would mean a lot to me if we could be.”

“You're not the only one who could use a friend at the moment Draco.” She laughed.

He smiled at her, the first genuine smile that she had ever seen from Draco Malfoy, she smiled back and lay her head on his shoulder. She was happy with the new friendship, but wary. She had been at school with Draco for six years and had never seen him show a hint of decency. She didn't know if the friendship would work, but she was willing to try. If not for her sake, then for his.

---

“Gin, your parents got used to us eventually when your brother told them we were friends. They will get used to the fact that we're in love, I promise.” Draco said confidently.

“Ssssh they'll hear you.” She laughed this time.

“I don't care, I love you and I know that you love me. I can't wait any longer.” Draco told her.

They were inside Ginny's bedroom; he had flown from his small dingy apartment in a muggle village that she always forgot the name of, and had awoken her with the classic act of throwing pebbles at her window then climbing up the lattice. When she had asked him why he hadn't just flown straight to the window he told her he wanted it to be a romantic gesture before kissing her in that knee weakening way he had.

“So Ginevra Weasley, love of my life.” Draco murmured lovingly, getting down on one knee and producing a square box out of his pocket, “Will you marry me?”

She nodded her head, overcome with emotion. At first she had just thought that he was joking around, but obviously not. She had thought, many times, about them getting married one day. But she would never have shared these thoughts with Draco, she didn't want to scare him, but now her dream was coming true. Who would have thought that she would be marrying Draco Malfoy, arch nemesis for the first 6 years she had known him, now, best friends and lovers.

A/N: Ok, so you might be a little confused now, but everything will be clear in chapters to come. I rated it R because I want it to be a NC-17 later on, but not sure if I will or not, but there will be some swearing in the next chapter. Hope you liked it, tell me what you think!

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A/N: Hey guys, been a while since chapter one. But -come one, 438 hits and only 6 reviews? Not exactly encouraging… If you didn't like the first chapter, good news, I think this chapter is much, much better. This chapter is a little shorter. In chapter one I had Draco proposing to Ginny in the present, then I had a flashback to them at school and becoming friends etc. then I had another part of the present, from now on I'm going to be doing more of the school days, not as much of the now. Okay? But whenever I travel between the two, the paragraphs will be separated like this --- if you see this --- it is just the next day, or a little later that day. But anyways, enjoy and please, please review. Constructive criticism, it's what all authors thrive on.

Chapter Two.

Step right up Shoot an arrow at the target My heart is an easy thing for you to hit Don t worry if you miss I'll let you shoot again My heart is an easy thing for you to win -Step Right Up, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

"Mmm, Draco." She moaned softly throwing herself down beside him and kissing his chest, resting her head there.

Draco laughed leisurely placing his hands behind his head. They lay like that for a few moments then he sighed.

"I have to get to work." She declared, kissing him lightly on the lips and rolling off the bed.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Draco groaned.

"I know." Ginny agreed.

Ginny wished so horribly that neither of them had to work. Their hours were completely opposite. Ginny worked for the Ministry of Magic, a tedious desk job that didn't suit her personality at all, she worked from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday whereas Draco worked two casual jobs, one as a muggle bartender at a club 10pm to 4am Friday and Saturday nights and was doing physical labour, hauling supplies to building sites (for some muggle building company that paid poorly) from 5.30am to 8am everyday except Sundays. And with him training to be an Auror Wednesdays and Thursdays from 10am to 4pm they hardly ever got to see each other.

For the past few months they had only been able to see each other for half an hour weekday mornings before Ginny had to go to work and Draco had to leave for his construction job. Ginny, who was still living with her parents, had told her mother that she had joined a weekly book club that ran on Saturdays between 4 and 6pm so that she wouldn't be suspicious and spent that two hours with Draco before disapparating home in time for the whole family dinner that her mother liked to host on Saturdays at 6.30. Sundays were a day of bliss, Draco worked at the club Saturday night and finished at 4am so Ginny apparated to his place at 12pm and made him lunch before spending the day with him.

"Well I become a fully-fledged Auror in two weeks, then we will work the same hours." He smiled at her.

Ginny was astounded, "Two weeks? I thought that the training was two years! This is only the end of your first year."

"Well I wanted to surprise you, but before I started the training I went to the Minister and asked him if I could do the training in one year instead of two, he told me to ask the Head of the Auror office if he would train me five days a week, instead of two and Robards said yes." Draco positively beamed, "But Gin, when are you going to tell your parents? If we lived together it would all be so much simpler!"

---

They were still sitting at the base of the huge tree near the lake, watching a dragonfly skim the water of the lake.

"So can I ask you a question?" Draco inquired carefully.

"That depends what it is..." Ginny answered just as carefully, "But go ahead."

"Why do you need a friend? You seem to be pretty close with Potter's crowd."

"It's a long story." Ginny sighed, "Do you really want to hear it?"

"This might sound selfish, but being able to escape my problems, even by diving into someone else's sounds like heaven right now." Draco looked meekly at her.

Ginny sighed and began to tell him everything. About her old feelings for Harry, her Mother just about choking with satisfaction every time they touched, about Harry growing readily more distant and then the day that she found out Harry was cheating on her with Hermione, even though she only had sisterly feelings for Harry it still stung. She told him how badly it hurt when Luna's (the one actual friend of her own that she had) father pulled her out of school because he thought that the Ministry of Magic was reaching out to acquire Hogwarts in its scheme for global domination. And how she hated having to hang around her brother and his friends because everyone in her year teased her about her red hair and her family's lack of riches.

Draco just nodded solemnly, offering no other response. Ginny sat there confused; she wondered what he was thinking.

"Draco, I'm not..."

"Sssh, I'm trying to figure out how to say this," He interrupted holding a finger to her lips automatically before shying away from the contact. "Okay, this might come out wrong, but here it goes: I'm not so sure that I will be a good friend to you. You have to understand that the only friends I have ever had were the kids of Death Eater's, and they don't make for the nicest peer group. They were absolutely horrible and I used to be exactly the same way, if it wasn't for what their parents did to my Mother and Father I might still be that same way. I'm new at this Weasl… Ginny, but I promise to try if you promise to help me along the way.”

“I will.” Ginny vowed, watching him smile at her as she melted slightly.

She was melting? Not a feeling totally new to her, but a feeling evoked by Malfoy? Impossible. Sure, he might be beginning to redeem himself but he still had a long way to go.

“But please don't be offended if I don't trust you right away. Our families have a lot of bad blood and I'm not sure if I will be able to forget that, but I will try my hardest.” She admonished.

“I understand.”

------

Ginny was finding it impossible to sleep. She lay in her four-poster staring at the ceiling in the pitch black, thinking about the unexpected friendship that had occurred between her and Draco Malfoy and the curious melting sensation that he had incurred. She was still awake when it started to lighten outside, giving up sleep as a lost cause; she changed and decided to take a walk.

She strolled out the oak doors and towards the lake, just in time to see the sun rising above the mountains and shedding its watery light on the breathtaking Hogwarts grounds. Glad it was only a Sunday, she stretched out on a patch of grass and watched the brightening sunlight play across the wispy clouds in the sky. All of a sudden she was overwhelmingly tired, she was having trouble opening her eyes with every blink. Eventually she succumbed to the peaceful sleep that stole over her, even though she was lying on slightly dewy, lumpy ground.

------

Ginny awoke; the first thing she saw was that the sun was directly overhead. Midday. The second thing she noticed was the emaciated, pale figure sitting beside her. He was bone thin, with deep bruise-like shadows under his eyes and sunken, hollow cheeks. His hair was un-brushed and falling about his face. He had his hands wrapped around his knees, his chin resting heavily on top. She sat up, suddenly frightened.

She had seen him just yesterday; surely he hadn't looked like this then. She cast her mind back. Sure yesterday he was thin, but he always had been, thin but muscular. Now he just looked ill. Yesterday there were no shadows under his eyes, nor was that haunted look buried in the depths of those eyes. His cheeks had always been a little sunken, highlighting his perfect angular features, but not like this. Had his skin always been so sickly?

“Draco, what's happened?” She asked in a quivering voice.

He looked at her, startled. “Oh, glad to see you've rejoined the land of the living.” He tried to joke, smiling fleetingly although it wasn't echoed in his eyes.

“Please, tell me. You look horrible.”

“They sent me another photo.” His voice was cold, emotionless -like he was reading the statistics of the number smokers in Britain off a sheet of paper. “This time it was of my mother and my father together. Scalped.”

His voice gave way at the end, crumbling -his face following seconds after. She watched as he sunk into a personal hell. She watched as he retreated so far into that hell that she worried if he would ever come back -ever recover.

She threw her arms around him, trying to alleviate at least a little of his burden. Trying to convey to him in a simple gesture how much she was hurting for him and how much she wanted to make everything okay, although she knew that she could never make this go away, never fix this hurt. It ran too deep.

She felt his body begin to shake as he wrapped his arms around her and began to sob. He sobbed with so much anguish that she wanted, for the first time in her life, to kill someone. She wanted to kill the death eaters for doing this to her friend. He clutched at her robes and began to really cry. There was something horribly wrong about seeing Draco Malfoy cry. It was like seeing a peacock with a broken leg. The elegance, the carefully cultivated fa�ade was gone, it was terribly, terribly wrong.

It might have been minutes, hours, days later when he stopped shaking and became still, she was totally absorbed in his pain, she hadn't noticed the time passing. Even though he was no longer crying he made no move to untangle himself from their embrace, just as she made no move to untangle herself.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it. Please review letting me know what you think. If you aren't following the plot please let me know ASAP and I will try and fix that. Xoxo

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