The Comeback

Trojan#12

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 05/12/2008
Last Updated: 07/07/2009
Status: in_progress

**Name changed from My Countenace!**It had been four months since the Dark Lord had been defeated. But nine months since she had seen him last. Nine months is how long she’s spent searching for her lost best friend. Everyone else was convinced that he was the one who didn’t want to come back. But she believed differently, and soon, she would find out just how right she was. Soon, Hermione Granger would get her recompense. H.Hr/ Post-War/ Post-7th year/ :]]

Chapters

1. Chapter One

2. Chapter Two

3. Chapter Three

4. Chapter Four

5. Chapter Five

6. Chapter Six

1. Chapter One

JKR owns.

My Countenance

Chapter One

[AN] This is a little something different then my previous two fics. Intended to be a ficlet. Hope you enjoy, and please review!

---

It was a brisk Friday night in London. The clouds had been heavy all throughout the day but had yet to shed a single drop of rain. It was if the dark ominous shapes were teasing; eager to darken your day and trap you indoors but not completely willing to wreck it. I wished it would rain already.

The similarities between this day, and my last real day of genuine emotion sadly hedged their way to the forefront of my mind.

He said he was only going out to finish his holiday shopping.

He had lied.

It took me exactly 3 hours and thirteen minutes after he left to figure that out. And I had been searching for him ever since.

My eyebrows furrowed as the memories continued to come full blast. I was having trouble trying not to think about it. Sometimes though, you get these little self torturing tendencies, where you can’t really help yourself. At least, I was sure I wasn’t the only one.

I thought my pain and suffering would end when the wizarding world got news that the Dark Lord had been defeated and his entire army of death eaters to go along with him. I thought I would finally get some word from him. I thought I deserved at least that.

He must have thought differently.

“Hey Hermione, you want to go grab some dinner?”

I quickly covered up a map of northern Ireland and looked up to my other best friend standing in the door way of my room. Floo powder was smudged on his face. I mustered an apologetic smile, “Sorry Ron, but I already made myself some soup earlier.”

“Some soup? That’s all you’re going to eat for dinner?” I’ll admit it, my eating habits were miserable when I was absorbed in my research. But, it was enough to keep me focused, and that’s all I needed.

I nodded my head and gripped the edges of my book, silently willing him to leave.

“You’re crazy, Hermione.”

“We can’t all have the metabolism you have Ron.”

He frowned, “If you’re worried about your weight, then don’t be. You are per-”

“I’m not. I was just making a point.” And I wasn’t. Body image had always been lowest on my priority list. Well, everything was lowest on my list of priorities these days- except a boy with messy black hair and emerald eyes. I sighed.

Ron was unconvinced, “Okay well, do you want to hang out then?”

“I thought you were hungry?”

“I can grab a snack here, can’t I?”

I tried to laugh, “Ron, my pantry isn’t nearly big enough to support the ‘snack’ you want.”

“I could finish off your left over soup.” I actually laughed that time. Ron smiled from ear to ear.

“Come on Hermione, you’ve been working constantly. Going out for a little bit can’t hurt, can it? Seamus and Dean just moved into their new flat and they’re throwing a little party tonight. I mean, when‘s the last time you‘ve seen anyone? Ages,” he answered for me.

He was right, yet I still scowled, “Look Ron-”

“And Ginny would love to see you. You know she’s been a little worried that you haven’t written or come around in a while.”

I inhaled a deep breath through my nostrils, calmly fighting back the wave of anger I felt towards the youngest Weasley.

Ever since that Christmas Eve, Ginny had been the only one I could fully share my pain with, because she was going through it too. It took me a few months to realize she was growing less and less dedicated to the search. After that, I found out that a young, handsome, and Cornish intern of Bill’s had been keeping her attention preoccupied. Ever since I haven’t been able to be in the same room as her. It was like she had betrayed me. Betrayed the cause. Betrayed him.

I could have never forgotten about him so easily.

“I have too much work to do. Maybe another night.” Maybe, but most likely not.

A rumbling sigh burst from his lips, “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t be worried about you just like everyone else is.”

“Because I’m fine. Isn’t that reason enough?” If I kept adverting genuine answers then he would eventually get frustrated to the point where he would give up. That’s how nights like these usually happened.

But I guess he wanted to try something new tonight, “Hermione all you ever do is seclude yourself to your flat, claiming that you’re doing ‘work’.”

Seclude. Good word for him. “I am doing work, Ron.”

“Being a secretary for the muggle department doesn’t require all this work. Even Dad says so. He told me he’s never sent you home with work to do.”

“I take initiative. Since when has that ever surprised you?”

“Hermione, stop messing with my head and just answer my question. Are you still looking for Ha-”

“Fine. If you want to be so persistent and annoying then I’ll come with you to their party. But I’m not staying all night,” I warned him in a huff, throwing my book down on my coffee table.

Ron grinned, “Great. Hurry up and get ready. I want to stop and get something on the way.”

I rolled my eyes, “Can’t you just eat there? It’s a party, I’m sure they’ll have food.”

“I’ll eat there, too.”

He laughed as I shook my head and made my way through my messy flat to my little box of a room. As soon as I closed my door, I leaned against it and put my face in my hands.

How long would this party take? How many people would stare at me all night long, marveling over seeing Hermione Granger for the first time in months? Would I be forced to talk and joke and laugh with my old school mates? Would I see Ginny?

I stopped moping when I glanced at the picture of the three of us in fourth year. The smiling faces clamed me down enough to where I started for my little closet. I would just get this night over with and have it be nothing once morning came.

Tomorrow I would continue with my search.

…

Ron shoved the last bit of his cheeseburger in his mouth and grinned.

“Tonight’s going to be so fun Hermione. You’ll be thanking me in the morning.”

I didn’t know what I would end up describing this night as, but I didn’t think fun would be it.

“Sure.”

He grabbed my hand and tugged me down a dark alley. He made sure we were hidden behind a gigantic garbage can before he wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me in.

“Hold tight,” he whispered in my ear. I could feel the heat from his breath on my face and the rumbling echo of his heartbeat inside his chest. I’m not sure why, but the closeness made me uncomfortable. I wanted to push him away.

Before I could think anything else, I felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through a tube and recognized the jolt behind my naval as our feet touched ground again.

“Here we are!” We were in an alley again, and Ron was pointing up at the side of a building. I could hear the music and loud, happy voices radiating from inside.

Ron grabbed my hand again and tugged me towards the metal staircase that led towards their flat. I did my best to keep up, but felt like I had to jog to keep up with Ron’s excited pace.

“Ron, you’re going to rip my arm out of the socket,” I mumbled. I guess my unease at being around a crowded flat full of people was starting in. As of late, quiet awkwardness was my answer to such a feeling.

“Oh, sorry.” But he didn’t let up. We reached the door and Ron knocked quickly.

“OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!” Ron shouted at the top of his lungs.

I shot him a glare as he chuckled. It was a mere two seconds before a friendly face threw the shabby door open.

“You silly wank Ron… Hermione?”

I smiled, remembering to be polite, “Hi Seamus.”

“Bloody hell, Hermione!”

He crushed me against his chest and held me so tight I felt my heart lurch.

“I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I hope it’s okay that I came…”

“Of course it is! Everyone’s going to be so excited to see you. Oi!” Seamus had turned back to the party inside. I had a feeling about what he was about to do.

“Oh Seamus, no don’t-”

“Hermione Granger is alive and here!” he screamed.

As the last word left his mouth I could feel a mass of eyes staring straight at me. I wanted to hide.

But Ron wasn’t going to let me, “Yes, she is alive and well, and ready to party!”

A majority of the room drunkenly hooted and hoorayed as Ron threw an arm around me and pulled me into the flat. My legs were dead, they didn’t want to move any farther. I didn’t want to go any father. I wanted the exit close in sight.

Dean was the first to run up to me, “Hermione! Hermione, holy shit, Hermione!”

He threw his arms around me, similar to Seamus’s hug. He was obviously wasted because he simply kept repeating the phrase, ’Holy shit, it’s Hermione. Hermione!’.

“Let her breath, wanker!” Ron laughed pushing Dean away.

I seen Neville’s face next, grinning exuberantly at me. I smiled. I was genuinely happy to see Neville, “Hey Nev.”

“How ya been, Hermione? It’s been way too long.”

I leaned into his hug, “I know. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant.”

“Ah, it’s okay. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

“Thanks Nev.”

Parvati, Padma, Ernie, Justin, Hannah, Lavender, Katie, Angelina, Oliver, Susan, Terry, Roger, and a few other people I either didn’t recognize or hadn’t seen since graduation came up and greeted me. I even got a misty eyed hello from Luna Lovegood. She looked as Luna-ish as ever.

I remained polite through all of the visits, but still felt like the freak of the show. I could tell they all had a bit of reservation in their eyes. I knew the rumors and gossip circulating me; they all thought I had gone a little insane after he took off.

Ron stayed faithfully next to me the entire time. That, I was grateful for. I didn’t want to be left alone to fend for myself. Rather I just wanted a breath of fresh air; a minute alone.

“Hey, I’m going outside for a second,” I told Ron over the background noise.

“I’ll come with-”

“No, stay here.”

He looked at me warily, “Promise you won’t run off?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes.”

“Because I’ll just drag you back here if you do…”

“I know.” I turned and made my way through the groups of friends. I kept my eyes on the ground, so that I didn’t have to make eye contact with anyone and explain where I was going.

I opened the door, stepped onto the front step, and closed it behind me.

I heard a slight gasp a few feet away.

My jaw tightened. Coming outside had been a big mistake.

“Hermione,” Ginny gasped.

My eyes briefly flitted closed and I took a deep breath, “Ginny.”

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?” I noticed a tall young man standing next to her, with their hands held together. Bill’s intern. He had light disarrayed blonde hair piled up on the top of his head. I guess Ginny liked the messy look. He was handsome, but not nearly as much as the one she had before him.

“Ron brought me,” I said, not offering anything else to her.

“Oh, that- that’s great Hermione. It’s good to see you. You look…”

I was already sick of the pathetic attempts to pretend like everything was fine between us, “Not as good as you?”

“No! No, that’s not what I was going to say,” she shared a look with the Cornish bloke.

“Well you look really good.” I didn’t care at all about the bitterness in my voice.

“Um, thanks. This is Chad.”

The blonde smiled and nodded at me, “Hello there. I’ve heard a lot about you, Hermione. It‘s nice to finally meet you.”

He didn’t deserve me being rude to him, so I kept silent.

They stared at me expectantly for a few seconds before Ginny turned to Chad, “Hey, I’ll meet you inside, okay?”

“Sure.” He leaned in to innocently kiss her cheek, but still Ginny moved away and glanced back at me awkwardly.

Chad seemed confused, and shot her one last look before walking past me into the party.

“Um, so how have you been? Dad says you’ve been an angel at the office. He says you’ve organized the entire department.” She smiled at me, encouraging me to talk. I didn’t want to though. For once, I was going to give in to pettiness.

“I’m a secretary.” Ginny flinched.

“Er, yeah. Have you given any thought to muggle university? I know that’s what you wanted to do after school…”

That was the summer before 7th year. That was before Christmas Eve happened. “No.”

“Oh. That’s too bad, I know you’d be great at it.” She paused again, her hand playing with the charms of a bracelet on the other arm. I could tell she was uncomfortable. And I didn’t care. Hopefully she was withering. Hopefully she would leave soon.

“So um, what else have you been up to?”

“Stuff.”

She sighed, and I wasn‘t sure what that meant. She glanced away and when she looked back at me her eyes were a little less soft. Her tone was a little less fragile. “You’re not still on about Harry are you?”

My fists clenched. I was shocked for a moment. I never instantly got so trembling mad like this. How dare she though? Who was she to bring up that name in front of me? Who was she to admonish me? What, did she expect me not to search for my missing best friend? Forget about him like she had?

“Hermione, it’s useless-”

I snorted, “What do you know? It’s not like you ever hung around to help. I have to say, for someone who claimed to be so in love with him, you did move on awfully fast!”

“Yeah, after I realized that searching for him was completely useless! Don’t you get it Hermione? Harry doesn’t want to come back. The reason I was able to start dating Chad was because I finally accepted that Harry didn’t love me! If he cared about me so much, then he would have come back. Hell, he wouldn’t have just ditched everyone in the first place. Harry’s made his decisions, Hermione. It’s time for you to do the same.”

We stared hard at each other, me fighting hard to keep from trembling. I was shocked that she could even think such things.

She shook her head lightly and began to whisper, as if she was in pain from saying it, “He obviously didn’t love me as I did him… and he obviously didn’t care as much about your friendship as you do.”

My control snapped and some unknown and feral instinct rose from within me. My right hand curled into a fist and I wielded it back.

“Hermione- Hermione!”

Ron’s voice froze my fist as it was about to strike. The red cleared from my vision and for the first time I noticed Ginny’s appalled and frightened expression.

I counted four seconds before my fist unclenched.

“Hermione…” Ginny let out in a strangled voice. I could feel my mood suddenly shift and the guilt spreading throughout my body. Had I really almost hit her?

“Hermione-”

“I’m going home.” I began stepping down the stairs.

“I’ll-I’ll come with you,” Ron muttered, still in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes.

“I didn’t invite you.” The hurt was evident in his face, but I didn’t do anything about it. I wanted to be alone.

I walked past Ginny and continued down the stairs. I ignored the smiling faces and voices calling out to me from inside the house, all wondering where I was going. Away was all I wanted.

I was right… this night didn’t end up being fun.

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It starts really sad, but it’s going to get better very soon :] Please Review!

2. Chapter Two

JKR owns.

My Countenance

Chapter Two

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It was pitch black out, not a drop of rain falling from the sky. Strange, compared to how earlier that night it had been raining a fifth ocean.

My heart was still racing as I skipped up the steps to my apartment and started digging around for my keys. All I wanted was to lock myself in my room and scream myself to sleep.

“Hermione, dear?”

But as usual, I didn’t get my way. “Yes Mrs. Hardwicke?” I asked wearily, looking up to the old woman standing on the porch next to me.

“Some young man was knocking on your door earlier tonight. He seemed quite frantic.”

I frowned, “A young man?”

“Yes, well his hood was up, but I could tell it was a boy. First, I noticed him pacing around the sidewalk across the street rather nervously and then suddenly, he marched across the road and knocked right on your door,” I noticed the tone of excitement she spoke with. It seemed staring out of her window for countless hours every single day, looking for any signs of trouble or abnormalities, was starting to pay off for her.

“That’s odd,” I finally answered. She seemed disappointed with my bleak reply, so I continued, “You said you didn’t get to see his face?”

“No. I couldn’t get a good look at anything in the dark. All I could tell was that he was about six foot tall…” she reached back into her door and pulled out a little notepad. I tried not to laugh.

“His hooded jacket looked to be maroon.”

Ron is a little over six foot, but there‘s no way he could have beaten me home from the party, “Did he knock long?”

“Only once. He waited at your door for, oh,” she scrunched up her face and stared up into the sky, “I’d say about thirty seconds before he ran off down that alley, the same one you walk down every morning.”

Mrs. Hardwicke pointed towards the alley I just disapparated from and a shiver ran up my spine. Could this bloke have been using the alley for the same reason I used it every day? Or was it someone a little more dangerous than an apparating stranger?

I looked back from the alley with a pondering expression. I didn’t notice Mrs. Hardwicke, leaning over from her side of the rail to give me an overly disturbed look, “You make sure you lock all your doors tonight, dear. And keep your phone nearby too.”

I swallowed imploringly. I couldn’t really be in danger could I? This person just probably had the wrong address…

But even I couldn’t convince myself of those slim odds. I nodded in understanding at my elderly neighbor, and then stuck my key into the keyhole.

“Goodnight Mrs. Hardwicke.”

“Good night dear.”

…

I awoke early that next morning, even though I managed to only fall asleep around 3 a.m. Sleeping was considered a waste of time to me- there is much more important things I should be doing. Going on nine months now, my body was trained to sustain itself on only a few hours of rest.

A series of longing meows, coming from the end of my bed was what finally roused me. Crookshanks, my loyal orange fur ball, was giving me a half-glaring, half-pleading look. I groaned, remembering that I had forgot to pick up some cat food at the corner store last night.

I sighed and threw my sheets off me, “Alright, alright I’m going.”

Not caring what I left the house looking like, I put on the wrinkled clothes lying at the top of my overflowing hamper. Laundry; another useless necessity I needed to find time to do. Great.

As I walked down my front steps, I found that it was even more bone-chillingly cold than last night. Just cold air- no snow, rain, or sleet to prove it’s brutality. It was an invisible monster. I snorted, unamused. The weather would always be out of my control, and never the way I wanted it to be. Similar to a lot of things in my life…

Already trembling, I hooked a right and walked as fast as I could towards the small muggle market to purchase Crookshanks’ long awaited breakfast.

…

After saying a quiet thank you, I grabbed my brown paper bag full of gourmet cat food, and headed out of the door, back into the blistering cold. I never much liked coming to the market, and only ever did because it meant the shortest time away from home. The husband and wife who owned the place always gave me pitying looks and often offered free groceries or discounts, as if I was living off my last few pounds. I hated their scrutiny, and their outlandish kindness was too much to handle. Just two more people to add to the list who all thought I was crazy…

I was getting closer to my flat and was about to reach into my coat pocket for my keys when an image made me freeze.

The image was that of a bloke. He was about six foot tall and wearing a maroon hoodie with a black beanie clamped over his head. He was standing on my porch. Knocking.

I was too far away to get a proper, evaluating, look of him, but I noticed that there was something about the way he held himself… something about it seemed all too familiar…

My heart jumped up into my throat and I struggled for air. Could it…?

The person stopped knocking and shoved his hands into his pockets, now staring down at his shoes. The visual made my stomach jolt. A second passed before he jerked his head up to my door again. I frowned- what happened?

In another heart pounding instant, he began stumbling backwards down the stairs. He looked like he was preparing to sprint away before he froze and turned to look directly at me. We both stood there, close enough to tell that we were both gazing right at each other, but too far away for me to tell what color his eyes were. I prayed for the emerald shade I had dreamt about ever since last Christmas.

Mere seconds passed where we stared uninterrupted at each other. But with another second, it was all over. Without warning, he turned and ran. I choked on my own breath, staring after his retreating back.

No, this couldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t let this happen. Not if there was a slight possibility it was who I wished for…

“No.” The world left me in a whisper before I dropped my bag of cat food and sprinted after him.

“Stop!” He turned down the alley where I usually apparated. I could feel my thrilling anticipation slipping away, replaced with recognizable anguish. I wouldn’t catch him in time. He was going to disappear…

“Please,” I panted, turning wildly into the thin alley. Tears started to prickle at the back of my eyes as I took the empty bareness of the stone pathway. The man I had hoped for, or whoever the bloke was, was gone.

…

I turned back to the sidewalk with one of my hands rubbing my eyes. I hadn’t let tears fall in a long time. There had been a lot of false leads, false hopes- but I still never cried over them. That’d be weak. I couldn’t afford to be weak. He didn’t deserve that. And today was no exception. Suck it up, Granger.

I dropped my hand from my face just in time to see Ron’s head, poking out of my door and looking in the opposite direction of me. I frowned, not having the energy to glower.

“Ron?”

His head swiveled around, “Hermione!”

“Ron, what are you doing here?” I guess I still wasn’t caring about being rude to him. Maybe I’d feel guilty about it later.

“Oh, hi. I flooed over from the Burrow a few minutes ago… did you just knock on your own door?” Ron asked briskly. I raised an eyebrow. He seemed a little tipsy. What the hell was he doing here? I couldn’t fight the wave of anger bucking up in me. He must have been the reason that the man ran off. Damn Ron.

“No.” I said, unclenching my teeth to speak.

“Oh, did you catch who was out here then?” he still asked with a smile like nothing was wrong.

“No.”

“Oh. So where’ve you been? Did you- did you not sleep here last night?” Finally Ron’s face became a little disgruntled, but so did mine. What was he on about? I noticed his finger slightly pointed at my chest and looked down.

Oh. The clothes I threw on this morning was the same outfit I wore last night.

I frowned. If he was assuming anything, he was wrong, and it wasn‘t his business. Therefore, I ignore his question, “Why are you here?”

Ron took a deep breath and started reciting, “Dad got stuck with jury duty at the last minute. He wanted me to ask you if you could take over his meeting with the magical police until he gets there.”

“Why doesn’t he just ask Peter to do it?” I questioned. Peter was vice under Mr. Weasley. It made more sense for him to be there; not the head’s secretary.

“I dunno,” Ron shrugged, really having no idea, “My dad just wanted me to ask you. You gonna do it?”

I briefly thought it over. Go to a boring meeting where the misuse of muggle artifacts department would be fighting the police for stricter laws against magical pranks on muggles, or stay home and wait for my stranger to come back.

The answer was obvious, “Actually, I-”

“If you don’t want to go, do you want to hang out today?” Ron asked, cutting me off. I gave him a struck look, it being the only type I could think to express at his sudden proposal. “We could go to lunch and maybe see a moofie?”

I felt my shoulders slump, “I must be your dad’s only other option. I have to go, I guess.”

I couldn’t stand to look at the disappointment on his face. The guilt derived from my behavior was starting to weigh in, and instead of facing him like a proper friend, I turned to go pick up my abandoned cat food.

Crookshanks must be starving.

---

Please review, if it‘s not too much!

3. Chapter Three

JKR owns.

My Countenance

Chapter Three

[AN] Crazy. Desperate. Keep those in mind.

---

I let out a relieved sigh. Finally the meeting was over. Two hours used solely to bicker and pry with the police in order to make magic used on muggle objects illegal, was finally over. God, I needed a new job.

I tossed all of my possessions into my oversized knapsack, including the book on detection spells I had sneaked in, under the table. In between discussing and taking notes on ornery refrigerators and talking toilets, I was able to skim through to see if there was any information on how to find out where a person apparated after they disapparated. I couldn’t find anything, but I’ll double check when I get home.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mr. Weasley walking towards me. He had showed up at the meeting not even fifteen minutes after it’s start. Unfortunately, fifteen minutes was too late for me to ask to be excused. Quickly, I put on the most uncomfortable and drowsy expression I could muster. I didn’t want him to get the idea that I’d be offering to do paperwork today. I had way too much to do.

“Hermione,” he greeted me happily. He was always so happy. It made me a little envious. Although, with a bit of luck, pretty soon I might feel that way too…

“Mr. Weasley,” I greeted back politely. My default, if you haven’t noticed.

“I just wanted to thank you for coming in today. I knew I could count on you,” he patted me twice on the head. What was I, a dog? Or was Mr. Weasley finally going senile?

“Er, thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.” A second passed where he glanced to the floor awkwardly and cleared his throat. His always go-happy face was gone. I was sure that didn’t mean anything good. And I was reassured when he started bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Hermione, I-I wanted to have a few words with you…”

My eyes narrowed automatically. I couldn’t believe it. Suddenly, the petting was explained. Someone had ratted on me- told about my tenacious behavior concerning a certain person. I could narrow it down to two suspects.

Routinely, my jaw clenched and I took a deep breath.

“Mr. Weasley, I’m feeling very faint this morning. I only came to the meeting because I was under the impression that I’d be the only one here.” His eyes glanced around guiltily. He must have planned that too. I wouldn’t go as far to say that he really didn’t have jury duty, but by the time the meeting started Peter, and three of the department’s district managers were all present and accounted for. I wasn’t necessary at all.

“I’d really like to just be able to go home right now.”

“Well, alright…” he relented, but then poked a stern finger at me, “But we do have to talk. See you Monday morning?”

I wasn’t looking forward to it, “Sure.”

As I was turning to walk away, he started speaking again. His tone was more kind and gentle, so I turned around to give him my attention. I didn’t look happy doing it, though.

“And Hermione, you know you’re welcome at the Burrow any time. We’re all having a big dinner tomorrow night. You look like you could use some Weasley cooking.”

I nodded, knowing that I wouldn’t go. Plus, it wasn’t like Mrs. Weasley wouldn’t forcefully make Ron take five or six containers of leftovers home to me. I’d be fine, “Maybe if I’m feeling up to it. Have a good day.”

I went as fast as I could in hopes that he wouldn’t find another thing to say. I had wasted so much time by being here- I needed to get home and study up on the detections book. This was my first real lead, and I wasn’t about to let it slip away.

I couldn’t, and didn’t want to fight the excitement I felt. Hopefully, this would be the break I had been waiting for.

…

I disapparated a few blocks away from my flat, knowing that there was another garbage strewn alley that no one ever ventured down. My idea behind this was overly careful, I’ll admit. But if the stranger was back, then I didn’t want to be the one caught by surprise again.

Overall, my plan turned out to be useless. Innocent people, out with their kids, dogs, friends, or coming back from the market or some other activity were the only people littering the neighborhood blocks. No maroon hoodies. No black beanies. No one suspicious looking, at all.

Reaching the stairs to my flat, I had half the mind to knock on Mrs. Hardwicke’s door to see if she had noticed anyone while I was gone. But I didn’t. I figured if she had, then she would have been camped out on my porch, jumping to tell me.

I grabbed my door handle, prepared to unlock it when I found that it felt loose. I turned it, and sure enough, it opened.

Damn Ron, I told him to lock the bloody door on his way out.

After I had let out an impatient huff, I froze. The door was unlocked. Anyone could have come in or out… Slowly, I drew my wand from my knapsack.

My heart was beating like it hadn’t beat in the longest time. My throat was dry, my eyes were wide, and my mind was running through every defensive spell I had ever learned.

I took two steps into my flat and then silently shut the door behind me. I knew what I was going to do, but I couldn’t cast the spell with my door wide open and with a park full of people across the street. I wasn’t trying to get arrested here.

Shifting my weight back and forth on my feet, I scanned the front hallway and living room. No one was there, but I couldn’t be sure. I took a deep breath.

“Homenun revelio!”

I didn’t inhale, exhale, or move for what seemed like forever. I had expected for someone to be summoned before me, maybe coming from the kitchen or hidden in my room. But no one floated out. At one point Crookshanks poked his head out of the hallway and gave me a questioning meow.

But I didn’t focus on him. I continued to wait.

Ten minutes of resolute silence passed before I was able to relax my stance. So no one was here. I was somewhat disappointed.

Grabbing my fallen knapsack, I hitched it over my shoulder and made my way to my room. I wanted to change out of my work clothes before I got started on my researching binge.

As I was unbuttoning my plain white blouse, I again caught sight of the picture on my dresser. I sighed. Whatever disappointments and letdowns I came across, I knew I couldn’t give up. I had something to prove, here. I had to prove I wasn’t insane to Ron, and I had to prove to him, my other best friend, the most important person in my life, that I would never, ever give up on him.

…

After reading the book on magical detections over and over again, I found that there really was nothing in there on the topic of apparition destinations. Frustrated because of the wasted time, I still wasn’t hindered.

All throughout Sunday I studied the entirety of my book collection. I found some useful information, but nothing directly pertaining to my cause.

Someone was trying to contact me, and I needed to find that person as soon as possible.

Perseverance and reluctance. Those were the two main emotions I felt as I decided to write an absence note to work Monday morning.

I felt this way because, grudgingly, I decided to once again look up the Point Me spell; its theory, use, directive, and anything else associated with it. I was so reluctant because the Point Me spell held a very bad memory for me. As soon as I found out that he had left the Burrow last Christmas, the first thing I tried was the ‘Point Me’ on him.

It worked, to an extent. It pointed me, and I followed. The thing was, I was lead in all sorts of different directions, the locations changing sometimes hourly. I could never make sense of any of them. Every time I followed which way my wand pointed, it started to lean in a different direction as soon as I got close.

Frustrated was putting it lightly. I could have murdered my wand. And him too, for that matter. Why the hell couldn’t he just stay still?

I abandoned the spell for the longest time. Well, until April when we got the news that Voldemort and his army had been defeated. I used it once more, thinking that this time it would hold still long enough for me to get a grip on his whereabouts.

Again, it didn’t work right. And this time it was even worse. The wand that had laid in my flat palm, spun in fast, infinite circles. The spell couldn’t tell where he was. That could only mean one thing.

Everyone who simply thought that the Boy-Who-Conquered was off on holiday, having the time of his life and not wanting to come back- they were all wrong.

He was lost, and it was up to me to find him.

Monday’s efforts were once more useless. The spell couldn’t work unless you had a name or a good image of the person. And since I hadn’t seen the bloke beyond what he was wearing, I didn’t even bother trying.

Instead, I decided to mimic Mrs. Hardwicke. Yes, I was going to sit and stare outside my window until my stranger made another appearance. And when he did, I would be ready.

If he did.

…

“Lumos.”

No one.

It was a chilly Thursday night, and I was still sitting behind my window. For three days, there hadn’t been one measly sign showing that my mystery man had come by.

Even so, I didn’t waver from my twenty-four hour watch.

Monday night, I had written a letter to Ron to explain that I was going to stay with my parents for a bit. I couldn’t be bothered by him in a time like this. After a bit of thinking, I decided to also floo-block my fireplace, just in case he decided to show up and interrupt me. I didn’t want any distractions. Period.

After that, I wrote my absence into work every morning, and then stared outside for the rest of the day. I received a few letters in return, but they didn’t interest me enough to read them. I didn’t know who they were from because I never left my window seat to check. I would summon food from the kitchen when I was hungry and sprint to the bathroom when I had to use the loo.

Nothing was keeping me from that damn window.

There was a crack and some rustling outside.

“Lumos!”

A cat trotted out of Mrs. Hardwicke’s bushes with a mouse clamped between its teeth.

I sighed, “Nox.”

A familiar vulnerable sensation came over me. It had happened a few times in the past couple days. I felt like someone was watching me, even though I saw no one.

How was I ever supposed to catch him by surprise if it feels like I’m being stared down by no one? I admit, I must look like a nutter, with my blinds drawn and me stationed at my window practically 24/7. This would totally boost the confidence of everyone on the ‘I‘m-convinced-that-she‘s-crazy-list‘. Awesome.

Giving up was out of the question, so I racked my brain for ideas. I needed a new technique… something that wouldn’t make it so obvious that I was looking for him.

Amidst my plotting, my mind tumbled back on the topic of my raven haired best friend. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I was always thinking of him. For the past nine months, my brain was so hyperactive that it happened all the time.

But then I stopped.

He had had a technique to disguise himself. As a part of the trio, I used it with the boys all the time. No one was ever able to catch us when we were under it… It was perfect!

With this, if the stranger was watching me to see if I was watching him, he wouldn‘t think so, because he wouldn‘t see me! He’d feel alone… comfortable enough to do whatever he’s trying to do.

It was brilliant. Foolproof!

“I need an invisibility cloak,” I muttered out loud. Instantly, I thought of who to supply me with such. Neville was an aspiring auror. He currently worked in the evidence and defense lab inside the auror department.

A full-fledged grin spread across my face. I had to go to the ministry- tonight.

…

With a pop, I opened my eyes to find myself in the alley closest to my flat. I needed to get home as soon as possible. It felt like my excitement was going to eat me live.

I hugged the parcel, concealing the invisibility cloak, closer to my chest. With a bit of pleading, I convinced Neville to lend me one of the department’s cloaks. I was so thrilled, and he was so nervous that he made me promise not to use it until I was back inside my flat. I easily promised, feeling so grateful that I could have kissed him. I had to do something nice for Neville once this was all over with. I’d never be able to thank him enough…

I was just turning the corner when I froze again. My optimistic air deflated.

On my porch, wearing a maroon sweatshirt, was my stranger.

Only, he wasn’t a stranger at all.

…

Oooh, who‘s it gonna be? Review please!

4. Chapter Four

JKR owns.

My Countenance

Chapter Four

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The porch light glinted off the wire framed glasses held in his hand, while his other hand was busy rubbing his eyes wearily. He looked like he was trying to summon some courage for whatever he was about to do.

He placed the glasses back on his nose and took a deep breath, his exhale staining the cold night air.

I stood there, not daring to look away from this mirage. Was the boy I had dedicated nearly a year of my life trying to find, really standing right in front of me? Could it really have been this easy? Really?

One second I was staring unbelievingly at the side of his face, and the next second he was gazing right back at me. I was so disappointed. With the distance between us, I couldn’t see his eyes. But the shiny, thin scar on his forehead made it apparent to who he was. Finally, he had come home to me…

I took an eager step forward.

And he took one step back.

No…

I could feel the air rushing from my body as I watched helplessly as the raven haired boy took a few more steps back, before turning.

It felt as if my world had collapsed on top of me. All my achievement, glory, happiness- it was all sprinting down the sidewalk, trying to get as far away from me as possible.

For the quickest second, I contemplated letting him run. He had seen me, seeing him. We’d made eye contact. And still, he ran. Maybe they were all right… maybe I was a little crazy for chasing after someone who didn’t want to be chased. Maybe I should just let go…

But then, that cold insecure feeling passed, and my eyes narrowed. I was determined. Nine months of my life will not have been for nothing.

“HARRY!”

The little five letter world did something to me. Gave me an insane adrenaline boost, or something, because I had never recalled in my life running so fast. My feet barely touched the pavement as I traced Harry’s exact path. I continued screaming his name until my throat stung.

“Harry wait!” He had ran across the street into the park. I prayed to every and any god listening that I wouldn’t loose him.

It seemed like time flew by as I raced after Harry, following him through the park and around a few street corners. Just as I was deciding to pull out my wand and send a tripping jinx at him, I rounded the same corner as he had a few seconds ago.

I instantly came to a standstill. The street was completely abandoned of human passerby’s. Only one lonesome car roamed down the opposite end of the road.

“No…” I mumbled. The crashing sensation that the world was crumbling down on me flared up in my stomach again. Vomiting seemed like the easy way out, though.

I started to jog forward, scanning every inch of the unfamiliar street as I went. I came to a halt next to a four way stop. A couple hundred yards away, down an even darker street than this, I could have sworn I seen someone walking.

Without hesitating or second guessing myself, I stepped out into the middle of the street, about to start sprinting again.

A loud, blaring horn echoed into the dead night. I looked to my left just in time to see the face of a large, red, double-decker city bus speeding straight towards me. I was close enough to read the fashion ad, printed along the bumper.

The thought that I was about to die, didn’t really occur to me. All I could do was close my eyes and try to escape from the blaring.

There was a shout. I felt something pulling me backwards. The falling sensation ended when I slammed against the cold, hard ground. My head wasn’t cushioned, and it too fell against the ground with a deafening crack.

It sounded just like a hammer being hit against the bottom of a pot. It felt like someone had catapulted a brick right at the crown of my head.

Even behind closed eyes, I felt like I was spinning.

“Ohhhh…” I moaned.

“Shit, are you okay?”

My eyes snapped open. They were unfocused but I could still recognize the face hovering above me. I couldn‘t say anything.

There they were. I was literally one inch away from the eyes that I had been longing to see for nine months now. They were as emerald as ever.

I wasn’t going to interrupt my eye contact for anything.

He stared with me for a few moments, as if he was taking in my eyes again for the first time in a long time, too. A second later his eyes averted to my right cheek and he began to shift.

“Uh, Hermione do you want to let me off you now?”

I didn’t realize that my hands had gripped onto his sweatshirt so that he would remain on top of me. Nor did I even recognize his movements as an attempt at getting up. Still, I didn’t move.

“H-Harry?” the sound emitted hurt my tight, constricted throat. I hadn’t thought to give my lungs any oxygen yet.

“Yeah… it’s me.”

I breathed.

This moment seemed to be falling to pieces around me. Now that I had time to think about it, this all wasn’t like I had pictured. Originally, I thought I would be the one to find him. And now… looking up into his eyes, feeling his physical weight on top of me, it made me feel two things:

Angry, and light-headed.

I wasn’t sure about the light-headedness. Maybe it was from being suddenly knocked over, or from the whole rush of all this. Maybe it was because I had just ran like a bloody gazelle for a few miles.

But I could explain the sudden frown on my face. It seemed that my nine long months of solitude and research had practically been for nothing. I trapped myself in journals, maps, and newspaper articles, all to find the one person I considered my most important- and here, he had found me first.

I pushed him off me, “Where the fuck have you been?!”

Harry‘s expression faltered, “I-I can explain…”

“Were you dying? Sick? Recovering from some terrible injury?” I asked. Hopefully he would say yes to one of the options; that way I would have some plausible excuse to work with.

“I- no…”

As soon as I got up, he did. It made me even more frustrated- I wanted to be the one to tower over him… “Then there’s no excuse! There’s not a fucking reason in the world that would justify why you’ve been missing for all this time!”

“Just let me explain-”

“You should have explained before you disappeared! Do you have any idea what it‘s been like since you left?” I asked. Fuel was added to the fire as I felt a tear streak down my cheek.

“Hermione, I know, okay? I know I owe you the biggest apology of my life. You deserve to know above everyone else why I did what I did. Please, try to let me explain…”

I stared at him, for the sole reason of staring at him. Oh, how I wanted to know everything. But I refused to keep being made the fool. He had no idea what it was like; for once I wanted someone to chase after me.

So I shook my head and turned. He could think whatever he wanted from seeing my retreating back.

“Hermione?” he called unsurely. I didn’t stop, or even acknowledge that I heard him. I folded my arms over my chest and tried to block away the chilling cold. I was so ready for this cold to be done with.

Now shivering lightly, I continued on my way back towards my flat. I had no further plans after that. But I did wonder if Harry was going to follow me all the way home.

Honestly, I had already expected for him to apparate off. But no, I heard his breathing and the sounds his feet made as they hit the pavement a few feet behind me.

The silence continued as I entered the opposite end of the park and continued all the way towards my flat. I could tell Harry got a little closer to me in the park, but I wasn’t sure why. If he was expecting me to start up conversation, then he’d be waiting for a long time. I wasn’t the one who had to explain.

I walked up the steps of my porch and reached in my pocket for the keys. The sooner I got out of this bloody cold, the sooner I’d be able to think straight. I shoved the key inside the keyhole, but then froze at the sound of his voice.

“Hermione, please. I’m not going to come in if you don’t want me to.”

I held my breath, weighing in what he had just said. I had an ultimatum. If I didn’t let him in, then he’d leave. Possible forever. But if I let him in…

Was there a bad side to it? This is what I’ve wanted from him; his explanation. And now he’s here, willing to give it to me. How could I even think about possibly keeping him out in the cold?

I shook my head, trying to get the remnants of my hissy fit out of my mind. I had been wanting Harry for nine months now. I was still angry with him, but I wasn’t going to shut him out. For my sanity’s sake, I had to keep him as close as possible.

I heard a sigh from behind me as I pulled my key out of the door. I hoped he wouldn’t take my silence as rejection. After pushing the door open, I walked through. I never turned to close it.

A few seconds passed and I was just arriving in my living room when I heard the sound of excited footsteps up my stairs and the sound of my door closing. I sat down on my couch just as Harry walked in.

“Nice place,” he said, looking off into the rest of my flat. I blushed in embarrassment; the place was a wreck. I hadn’t exactly cleaned it in, well, a very long time.

“It’s a shit-hole,” I replied.

“I think it’s great,” he returned still looking around. There was a weird look on his face that I couldn’t decipher. He smiled and my heart almost beat out of my chest, “Smells like you.”

I frowned. Had he hit his head too? If he was going to continue to mumble nonsense like that then I was going to have to step in and do something.

“Er, right.”

“So I guess you want your explanation, huh?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes. He better not try to back out. He’d been running away too much lately, “That’s why we’re here.”

He nodded, “Can I sit?”

I scooted over, giving him ample room to sit next to me on the couch. Once he was settled I found it hard not to stare at his face.

“I don’t know where to start…”

I narrowed my eyes, “Where did you go on Christmas?”

“I went to the Hog’s Head, where Aberforth had a message for me. Once I read it I disapparated to a house. I can’t tell you where.”

I nodded. Of course his hide out would be unplottable. I figured that about a week into my search, “Where you by yourself?”

“Lupin and Tonks were both living at the house, too.”

My mouth fell open. Both Lupin and Tonks were in on this?! Tonks was supposed to have been transferred to the French ministry, and Lupin was supposed to be off on an order mission! I’d seen Lupin three bloody times since Christmas, and the old wolf hadn’t said anything!

Harry tried to calm me down, “Hermione, they were under oath. They couldn’t even hint that they knew something concerning me or my whereabouts.”

I gapped at him, “W-Why them? Why not me and Ron, like we all agreed on?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know Hermione… I-I had hoped that it wouldn’t take too long, and that I would be back before you even noticed.”

I scoffed, “Well you were wrong. And I noticed.”

Harry flinched at the malice in my voice, “I’m sorry. I just wanted what was best for you- and Ron.”

I gave him a hard look, “And we all wanted what was best for you.”

“I know, but I couldn’t have had any of that until Voldemort was gone,” he said the name just as easily as he always had. For that reason, it made it seem that he was effected by all of this more than he let on.

I grabbed his hand; a touch of forgiveness. No matter what I had been through trying to find him, I knew it must have been ten times worse for him, as he was trying to save the world and get back to us safe and sound. I didn’t think I’d ever get over the amazement and gratitude I felt for him accomplishing both.

I squeezed his hand and he gave me a small smile. I forgot to breath for a second.

“Did you get hurt… when you fought him?”

Harry shrugged. Always so modest, “It was painful as hell, but I came out of it alright.”

Something told me he was trying to pull a blanket over what had really happened, but I let it go.

“Why didn’t you just come back after?”

He let out a deep breath and looked down to his knees, “I didn’t want to have to answer people’s questions.”

“I wouldn’t have made you tell me anything you didn’t want to,” I told him heatedly.

“I know, Hermione. But that’s just it. I would have told you everything. And I was…” he paused and I could tell he was trying to come up with the right word, “Afraid… that you would hate me for it. For the things you found out I did. I was scared that you’d be afraid of me.”

I was shocked. You could tell so by the way my face dropped. It was a low blow, knowing that he didn‘t trust me like that.

“I could never be afraid of you, Harry. Whatever you could have possibly done, you should’ve known I’ll always support you.”

This time, Harry squeezed my hand, “I know that now. Seems silly, me thinking that you of all people would hate me.”

I felt relived, and also, again felt like I could throttle him, “More like down right fucking stupid.”

Harry let out a bark of laughter. Oh, how I had missed that laughter.

“That language…” he said, his eyes reveling in mine, “boy, I’ve really missed a lot.”

“You really have,” I said with a nod.

He looked at me curiously, “Like what?”

“You’re going to tell me you haven’t been watching everyone like you have me?” I was referring to him appearing at my doorstep over the past few weeks. Now was as good as time as ever to call him out on it.

He blushed, “I haven’t. You’re the only person I wanted to see. And it‘s not like I was stalking you…”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Why was I the only person he was interested in seeing? Did he know that I was really the only one looking for him? Is that why he felt obligated to explain to me first?

“What have you been up to?” he asked me suddenly. I frowned. He wasn’t going to change the topic, and put things off on me. Not a chance in hell, Harry Potter.

“You.”

He frowned, confused, “What?”

“You. I’ve been looking for you. For nine months, I’ve been trying to find you.”

“Fuck Hermione,” he whispered, putting his head in his free hand. He looked more upset at my comment then I would have thought.

“Why are you surprised?” I practically scowled. I was expecting a humbled thanks, or maybe even a flattered grin.

But Harry shook his head, “I was hoping you’d be too mad to even bother.”

I shrugged, “I was mad. But I didn’t give up. You could’ve been hurt or something.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “But I didn’t want you and Ron to feel obligated to come chasing after me. I sort of wanted to give you that normalcy…”

I scoffed again, “You missing isn’t normal Harry, and you bloody well know it.”

“Was Ron as pissed as you were?” he asked with interest.

I shrugged once more. I didn‘t want to upset him by admitting that Ron was more submissive in his leaving, “I don’t know, we never really talked about it.”

He gave me a questioning look. If we were going to have an actual, honest conversation, then I figured I had to tell him.

“Well I never really talked to him about it. I was too focused on you to talk feelings with Ron.”

He sat up straight again, “Wait, he didn’t- he didn’t try to find me along with you?”

I shrugged pathetically, “It was sort of my mission. Everyone else was convinced that you knew what you were doing when you left, and that if you wanted to come back you would.”

“Wow…”

I agreed with him, “Yeah. Ginny was the only one that ever helped me.”

“Ginny helped you?” he asked in a different voice.

“Why do you sound so shocked?”

I watched as he quickly shook his head, “No, I just thought that… I don’t know. I guess that I was kind of hoping she wouldn’t.”

He sounded disappointed. A streak of stubbornness flared in me; I wasn‘t going to let Ginny take credit for all my hard work. “Well she didn’t for too long.”

“What do you mean?” he asked with a frown, staring straight through my eyes and into the depths of my soul.

I couldn’t deny him anything when he looked at me with those eyes. So I told him everything about Ginny. About how she said she thought that Harry didn’t love her and how she had started dating Chad. I even told him, embarrassingly so, how I got so angry when she stopped helping me search and how I had nearly hit her at Seamus and Dean’s.

To my surprise, he let out another laugh, “Wow Hermione. Thanks for fighting so hard for me.”

“You’re not sad?” I asked, this time taken aback.

“About what?”

“That Ginny’s with someone else?”

He shook his head quickly, “No. Why would I be?”

“You’re back now- don’t you want to start back up with her?” My stomach clenched, and my eyebrows furrowed. Now was an odd time to be getting hungry.

“Well she was right. I was never in love with her. I can’t really explain it,” I could tell he was starting to turn a little shy. He was always like that when we discussed his relationships and girls, “I guess… she made me feel normal.”

“Oh.” That was all I could say.

“I’m happy for her actually. I hope this Chad bloke is treating her right.”

“She seemed happy last time I saw her.” It took me a while to recognize a familiar ache of longing in my chest. It must have been for Ginny. I hoped my best friend really was happy.

“What about you, Hermione?” he asked, surprisingly shy. “Have you been happy?”

I frowned. What a stupid question. Wouldn’t he have known the answer to it? I didn’t reply, and continued to frown up at him.

He flustered, “What I mean is… um, you… you and Ron? Did you guys…?”

My eyes narrowed, “Did we what?”

“You know… get together?”

I didn’t scoff at his question. I didn’t laugh, smirk, snort, sigh, scowl or blush. I simply answered, “No.”

“Oh,” there was a new tone in his voice. Lighter. “But I thought you guys liked each other? Remember 6th year? You sent a flock of canaries at his head for kissing Lavender Brown, if I remember correctly.”

I shrugged, “I can’t explain 6th year, Harry. I think I was just feeling a little left out and lonely.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” I looked at him, wondering if he was really that interested in my explanation. I didn’t feel like embarrassing myself again tonight. Not surprisingly though, he was staring at me with rapt attention.

I closed my eyes and started my enlightenment, “Okay, you were busy with Ginny and Ron was constantly sucking face with Lavender. Whenever you two were away from your significant others, it was like you were either too busy to deal with me or too frustrated that I kept bugging you about the Prince‘s book. I don’t know- I felt like I made you angry all year long.”

“Hermione…” I looked at him and saw the sadness in his eyes. I sighed again; I didn’t want to make him feel guilty.

“It’s okay Harry. I understand that it was a tough year for you. You probably just wanted to spend as much time being ‘normal’ with Ginny as you could…”

“Hermione, Ginny made me feel normal. You make me feel like myself. You make me feel special, but not special as a hero or the Boy-Who-Lived.” I stared hard at him while he shifted on the sofa and contorted his face into a series of expressions. His hand was still holding firmly onto mine.

“So, do you understand what I think I’m trying to say?”

I smiled. I loved his nervousness, “Yes, and I’m glad.”

“You have no idea how sorry I am that I made you feel that way all year. If I would have just listened to you, things might have turned out a lot differently…”

“It’s okay Harry, I forgave you a long time ago about all of it.” I cupped his cheek in my palm, hoping that this would better convince him of my sincerity.

We sat like that for a long while- me holding my hand to his face, rubbing my thumb over his cheek every few seconds, and him just looking at me, his eyes boring into mine.

He blinked once. I hadn’t noticed how far he had moved into my caress, but his face was practically laying against my palm. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking like a mute infant crying for help.

“What is it?” I finally asked.

He started in a rush, “Hermione, when I’m with you, I’m just Harry and I’m allowed to be happy and at ease. I don’t have to work to make you pleased with me. It’s like I can just relax for once.”

“I feel like that with you, too.”

Was that a relieved smile? My stomach flipped again. More hunger pains I guess…

“You do?” he asked me.

“Yes. Think of how long we’ve been friends; I think it’s normal that we would feel comfortable around each other.”

I watched him sigh as he turned his head away. Had I said something that upset him?

“Comfortable isn’t the word I’d use, Hermione.”

“Well, aren’t you comfortable right now?”

He shifted, “Not really…”

I frowned and felt irritated. Hadn‘t he just confessed that he felt happy and at ease with me? Was he trying to screw with my head? “Harry, if you have something to say then just spit it out.”

“The reason I left was because I didn’t want you to come with me and throw your life away to save mine. I didn’t want you ruined in any way…”

I rolled my eyes, “I always knew you could be a bit daft, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

He grinned and tugged on a loose piece of my hair. It was hard not to smile back, “No, that‘s not what I‘m trying to get at.”

“Well what is it then?”

“Because if I did survive, I wanted someone I could come back to.”

I frowned harder than ever before, “What are you talking about?”

He started shifting again. The image of Harry looking at me from my porch, and then taking off into the dark night flashed before my eyes. I squeezed his hand, letting him know that I wasn‘t going to let him run away again, so to speak.

Harry took a deep breath, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was gone. And I know this sounds terrible and that I should have wanted for you to move on, but I was honestly hoping that you were thinking about me just as much.”

My eyes narrowed, turning my frowning face into a glare, “Well you got your wish. I spent nine months doing nothing but looking for you.”

“I don’t regret not contacting you. It would have put you in danger.”

“I was already in danger-”

“Look, this isn’t what I was trying to get at-”

“Well what were you trying to get at?” I asked impatiently, “What is so hard for you to just say?”

He glared at me for interrupting him again. After a few seconds, his eyes softened, “It was easy to leave Ginny. A little harder to leave Ron. But you, I didn’t know how I was going to manage not seeing you everyday… or not hearing your voice.”

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream that his pain was all his fault because I would have easily agreed to go with him and keep him company. But a different light in his eyes stopped me from bursting. It stopped my hands from clenching, and made my stomach recognize its hunger by flipping again.

My breathing hitched as I strung his words together, followed by a playback of our previous conversation. He had told me he was happiest with me. He had basically said I was the most important thing in his life. That I was the reason he survived…

Me, not Ginny. Not any other girl. Could that mean…?

No, I was imagining it.

And I was definitely imagining Harry leaning in, now only an inch away from my lips.

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5. Chapter Five

JKR owns.

The Comeback

Chapter Five

[AN] I’m sorry! I know it’s been forever! Training is starting back up for me, so it might be harder for me to write. Although I promise I’ll do my best with speedy updates. Thanks for sticking with me!

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My eyes fell shut just as his lips touched mine. My hunger pangs kicked into overdrive as his smell invaded my senses and his lips started to work gently over mine. Finally, I realized the unsettling in my stomach for what it was.

That realization was what made my dazed resolve break. Without another moment to second guess myself, I pressed into his ministrations.

I started to kiss him back.

I never thought moments like this could be real. Where everything around you just ceased to exist or matter; when all you could focus on was the person you were physically reaching out to. I always figured situations like these were solely reserved to fictitious romance novels. This kind of serendipity wasn’t something I ever expected for myself. It was inconceivable.

But it was happening. Holy shit, it was happening. Harry Potter was back, in my flat, sitting on my couch, and he was kissing me. On the lips. In anything but a platonic way. Me, as in Hermione bloody Granger!

And I was kissing him back. Holy shit…

The sound of our lips suddenly separating was practically thunderous. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I stared at him wide-eyed. Bloody hell, I must have looked like a lunatic.

Harry seemed to be thinking along the same lines, “What’s wrong?”

I opened my mouth, intending to speak. But looking at him, while he was staring at me- it was almost debilitating. For some reason.

Well, I knew what that reason was. I’m not daft, after all.

Instead, I simply shook my head. My eyes drifted away from his, and down to his pouted lips. I was starting to doubt why I had broken the kiss in the first place. Those lips could still be mine…

I heard him sigh, but I didn‘t look back up to see what was wrong. His cautious voice spoke a moment later, “Look, I know this sounds cliché, but I’ve been wanting to do that for a really long time now.”

I looked up that time, “You have?”

Harry scratched at the back of his head, but didn‘t meet my suddenly intense gaze, “Yeah. There’s something else that I need to tell you…”

“What?”

“I love you, Hermione.”

Was my heart still beating? My pulse still pounding? What kind of fantasy world was I present in? Okay, the kiss was believable- but this? It was too much… too much good to be compounded into one night. Life wasn’t this nice to me.

I’m not sure what Harry took my silence as, but if his panicked banter was any indication, then he was worried. His hand scratched feverously at the back of his neck, “I know that my actions as of late, or lack there of, haven’t really shown that. But I mean it when I say you’re all I thought about while I was gone.”

I was in need of oxygen, but for some reason my lungs weren’t willing to expand. I turned away from him. It was easier to stare down at my coffee table, stained with water wrings, than to stare into Harry’s burning eyes.

“Hermione?” he whispered after a minute. I tried to ignore him. But how could I expect him to drop the topic after he had already dropped the bombshell?

I bit my lip while drawing my legs up into my chest. I hated feeling vulnerable, but I could practically taste what he was about to ask next.

“D-Do you feel the same way?”

“I-I…” Well, lying was out. I couldn’t say anything but the truth when he spoke in that tone. “I never thought about it, to be honest.”

To say that he deflated would be putting it lightly. “Oh.”

He started to scoot away, maybe even preparing himself to get up. Instinctively, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards me.

“But, now that I am thinking about it…” I stopped short. Really, how could I explain this? Every moment we’d ever spent together was starting to flash before me. I could even remember how I felt when Harry excitedly told Ron and I about his first kiss with Cho. My fingernails dug into the arm of my sofa, just like they had on the velvet seat in the common room that night.

The mere fact that I could remember all of this was overwhelming in its own right.

“What?” Harry probed.

“I don’t know what love is,” I blurted. Harry’s face fell for the second time that night. Real nice Granger.

“Hermione-”

“But if it’s anything close to what I think it is, then I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”

Harry‘s eyes darted up to mine, “Seriously?”

I sighed. I also hated blurting things out. But, if it was a choice between digging a deeper, darker hole for myself, or speaking freely… Didn‘t I owe it to myself to speak my mind?

“Yeah.”

Harry gave me a look and I could tell that he was trying to search out any lies from me. I guess I passed the test because a few seconds later his face was leaning in towards mine again.

It felt weird leaning forward to meet his lips. I mean, he was only the second person I’d ever kissed in my entire life. It wasn’t like Krum gave me the chance to stop and run away from him. Harry’s tenderness was new to me. A part of me wondered how I was able to forget my anger at his disappearance so quickly, but I immediately squashed it down. Tonight was probably one of the most amazing nights of my life. Of all the people I could be about to snog, the fact that it was Harry made me strangely excited.

Our lips met for the second time that night, and before I could even think to do otherwise, my hands moved up behind his neck. His reaction wasn’t one of reluctance; he leaned further into me, and positioned himself forward so that his knee was underneath him, ready to support his next move. His hand grazed shyly up my thigh, before resting on my waist. From that, I could tell that he wanted to push me down on my back. And even though I wanted to let him, there was something I had to say first. It was hard, but for the second time that night, I broke our kiss.

“This doesn’t make everything okay. We still have a lot to talk about,” I whispered, scared to meet his eyes, but doing so regardless.

Harry sighed before leaning back and straightening his leg out, “I know… but maybe I could stay here tonight?”

He looked vulnerable, yet his question was full of implications. Again, I found my body freezing up. What was I supposed to say to that? I had just recognized my desire for him ran deeper than friendship. Spending the night… sex with Harry- I couldn’t spit out a yes or no answer on the matter, just like that!

“Harry-”

Harry abruptly shook his head, “Nothing like that! Just to… you know, talk…”

This time, I was the one who sighed. I was relived, but also miffed at my own silliness. Of course Harry wouldn‘t put that type of pressure on me our first night ‘together’. Why was I jumping to conclusions? Before I could think otherwise, I nodded, “Okay.”

Harry smiled at me and I instantly smiled back. It seemed like instinct. As natural as scratching an itch, or combing your hair. Going along with my instincts, I grabbed the blanket draped over the back of the couch. It was late, and come to think of it, I was exhausted. It definitely had been a long night. Though, easily the best night of my life.

“Tired?” Harry asked me as I kicked my trainers off and slung my legs up over his lap.

“Not too tired to talk,” I answered. I was trying to sound suave. My inner confidence was telling me to get into calm, cool, and collect mode; however, I was still kind of freaking out. But could you expect less? Harry was here. And instead of coming back as my best friend, he’s coming back as so much more. I have feelings for Harry, and he has feelings for me. They’re mutual. Yes, we still had things to discuss. But my questions could wait another night couldn’t they? I’m officially allowed to be this close to him. It felt good to be close to somebody again.

Harry didn’t waste any time settling down next to me. As I spread the blanket over us both, Harry slid his arm underneath my head, and pulled me in closer. I felt a little timid, but not uncomfortable as I turned on my side to face him. His lips were only an inch or two away from mine. I could taste the faint mint in his breath as he started to talk.

We didn’t talk about anything imperative. Just old times, and the fun we used to all have together, when life was a little less hectic. After so many months of having my facial muscles set into a frown, it felt good to finally laugh and smile again. I think it felt even better because I knew it was Harry making me feel that way.

…

I rubbed my hands over my shoulders eagerly as I watched the ministry owl fly out of sight with my letter of absence to Mr. Weasley. The corners of my mouth lifted up into a smile- I definitely wouldn’t be going into work today.

Finally the owl got to a point where it was only a distant spec in the sky. With enough reassurance, I reached out and closed the window that was admitting the frigid air. For once the cold wasn’t a bad omen. The weather was just the weather. Crazy, I know.

My train of thought came to a sudden halt as a groggy voice broke the early morning silence in my flat, “Are you always up this early?”

I turned around and looked off into the living room where Harry’s sparkling eyes were visible underneath his mop of unruly hair. I smiled at him, “I usually don’t sleep so much. I guess the quality of your pillow really does matter.”

Harry grinned up at me as I walked back over to the couch and settled back down next to him.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“What made you decide to come back? Why now?” Of course I knew we had touched on this topic last night, but his answer of not wanting to answer people’s questions seemed suddenly meager with the new revelations we were both opening up to.

I seen him smile through his drowsiness as he started to answer, “Tonks said she was sick of me moping around the house like some bloody Romeo who had just lost his Juliet. Told me I was a daft git if I didn’t just get off my ass and see you already before you got over me.”

I smiled, “I love Tonks.”

Harry smirked, “Yeah well, try living with her for nine months. It might make you change perspectives…”

I held my smile as I leaned down and lightly kissed his cheek.

“Will they be worried that you didn’t come home last night?” I asked as he rolled over on his back and pulled me in closer.

He shook his head, “I don’t think so. I mean, Tonks has probably already jumped to her conclusions…”

I felt my cheeks blush and I slid off him a little bit. Glancing down to him, I could tell he was cursing himself for letting it slip. His cheeks were a little red too.

“Right, so… are you hungry?” I asked, trying to change the topic. Dwelling on the previous topic was something I didn’t think I was quite ready for.

Harry suddenly grinned at me, “Yeah. You want to make me breakfast?”

I raised an eyebrow, “Uh, no.”

He laughed, “Fine, I’ll make breakfast.”

“Wise idea.”

He started to slowly push himself off the couch, but for some reason I felt impatient. As I jumped up, I grabbed his hand and tugged hard.

“Hurry slowpoke.”

“Yes master,” he replied dolefully, following me down the hall.

“Ooh,” I voiced pessimistically once we had arrived in the kitchen.

He sent me a worried look, “What?”

“I just remembered something…” What the hell was I supposed to feed Harry? Soup? Oh wait, I probably still had that box of cornflakes around here somewhere…

“What is it?”

I bit my lip before turning to face him, “Well, I’m not sure when the last time I went shopping was.”

Harry gave me a narrowed look and then walked into my kitchen. He pulled open my refrigerator and grimaced.

“Bloody hell, Hermione.”

I followed him over and peered over his shoulder into my fridge. It was pathetic, but I tried to remain positive, “Oh look, I have milk!”

Harry grabbed the carton and gave me a disgusted look, “Expiration dated a week ago…”

My optimistic persona crumbled, “I guess that’s not good.”

Harry shook his head, “No.” He walked over to the sink with the milk carton in his hand. Before I had time to advise him otherwise, he started pouring it down the drain.

“Harry that-”

My warning was interrupted by the sound of shooting water and Harry’s gurgled surprise. I quickly ran over and turned off the broken faucet before turning back to Harry, completely humiliated.

He shook his head and sprinkles of water shot from his face and hair. Before he could open his eyes and give me an unimpressed look, I jumped into action, “I’ll get you a towel!”

I quickly moved over to the opposite corner of the kitchen and dug around in the bottom drawer for a clean wash cloth. When I turned back, Harry was rubbing both hands underneath his glasses. “How long has it been broken like that?” he asked, taking the towel I held out.

I shrugged sheepishly, “I don’t know, a while now?”

“How have you been living like this?” he asked, shaking his head and sending me an incredulous look.

I was a little hesitant to respond to him. Did he really want to know the answer to that? “I was just focused on other things, I guess.”

I thought he was going to reply something cynical, but instead he just gave me a relenting smile, “What else is broken around here?”

I grinned as my shoulders lifted in a shrug, “The microwave, the ice box, the air conditioning…”

The look that Harry sent me next was one that I couldn’t exactly decipher. Even though his lips were stuck in a half-smile, his eyes looked on at me with pity and despair. Instinctively, I started to defend myself, “But now that I have more time on my hands, I’ll be able to get them fixed.”

I didn’t want him to think lowly of me- of course my current living environment was only temporary! Now that my mission of the past nine months was completed, I could finally start to get my life on the path that I had always wanted for myself.

There was an awkward second or two in which Harry just stared at me, but eventually he nodded, “Yeah… so, I guess eating here is out.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said shaking his head.

“So where do you want to go? If we go out people might recognize you…”

I gave him a probing look, wondering if he would take the bait. But then again, I didn’t really know what I would get from it. Last night, we didn’t talk about him making himself known again. If we wanted to go out with me, then perhaps that means that he’s serious about us. But also, if he doesn’t, then does that mean that he wants more time alone with me? Damn it. I’d have to work on my over-analyzing problem…

Harry, however, simply smiled, “Well, if you want, we could go back to my place.”

“Really? You want to take me to where you’ve been hiding out this entire time?” I mocked, although genuinely pleased. His offer seemed better than my so called ‘bait’.

Harry gave me a hurt look, “I prefer healing. It makes me feel less of a coward.”

Immediately I felt like a bitch. Is that really what I had implied? I sighed. Good going Granger… “You’re not a coward, Harry.” I tried to say it with as much conviction as possible, without shaking him or crying it out.

To my astonishment, a crooked grin spread across his face before he slowly leaned forward. I wasn’t as jolted by my surprise as I was last night, but our kiss still felt like the first we had shared hours earlier. A smile spread over my own face as our lips worked together. I guess this tender, stomach-fluttering sensation was something I’d have to get used to.

“To Ibiza, then.”

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Next chapter may get a bit rocky. Please review!!! I update ten times faster with your guys’ feedback!

6. Chapter Six

JKR owns.

The Comeback

Chapter Six: Homecoming

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[AN] Sorry for the long wait. This story (as well as the rest of mine) have been going under some serious revising. I hope I made up for the time lapse in the chapter’s length. Here, Hermione finally gets the explanation she’s been waiting for.

Hope you enjoy!

---

I felt uncannily happy. Maybe it was because I didn’t have to pour over any more maps and books, trying to search for the lost Boy-Who-Lived, or maybe it was because my overzealous feelings for my best friend had finally been recognized as love, instead of platonic friendship. Returned, overzealous feelings, no less!

Yes, this was a lot to take in, and despite my sudden bliss, there was still that urge of mystery pulsing within me. Our conversation last night was only enough to tide me over. Today though, now that I was sure Harry wouldn’t be disappearing anytime soon, I was ready to know. Frightening, according to Harry, as it might sound, I wasn’t going to just let it go that easily.

Even with my rampant, excited thoughts running through me, I had still gotten ready for our trip in record time. I couldn’t recall ever being so eager to go to a new place, with maybe the exception of Hogwarts. But still, this time was different. Harry was taking me to the place where he had healed; he was choosing to let me in on a part of his life that he had only shared with two other people thus far.

To say that I was overly eager was a gross understatement. I was just hoping that he’d be willing to let me in on more than just where he had been sleeping for the past nine months.

There was a knock at my door and Harry poked his head inside my bedroom.

“You ready?” he asked. His eyes glanced around at my cluttered living space and I could tell he disapproved. He knew this wasn’t my usual type of habitat, but now that he was here I could finally get my life back on track. At least, I was pretty sure he knew that.

I nodded, “Yeah. How are we getting there?”

Harry nodded for me to come out into the hall, “We’re apparating. The place doesn’t have a floo connection.”

I nodded in anticipation as I walked out of my room. As soon as I was close enough, Harry grabbed my hand.

“Do you have many neighbors on your island?” I asked, trying to hide my grin. The thought that they had been living in Ibiza of all places, was kind of strange. From what I’d read, Ibiza had a record for being a place of riotous nightlife.

Harry gave me a wry smile, “No, actually. We’re the only ones who live on it.”

I frowned, surprised at his revelation, “Where exactly is your house?”

“Curiosity killed the cat Hermione,” he teased.

I lifted an eyebrow. “Well I’m not a cat, am I?”

Harry laughed, “You’ll see soon enough. Ready?”

“I guess,” I answered, my tone betraying my true readiness. Asking if I was ready was like asking if I was still capable of breathing.

Harry sent me a reassuring smile before wrapping his arms around my waist. Holding me tight, he counted down from three. As soon as he said ‘one’, the sensation of being squeezed through a tube came over me. I felt the slight lightheadedness that was a result of apparition, but before I could dwell on it, my feet hit ground, and something light and wet splattered against my nose.

“What” I mumbled confusedly, opening my eyes. Surprise consumed my expression as I glanced upward into the dark, cloudy sky. It looked exactly like the dark, cloudy sky we had just left in London…

“Harry,” I started out, now staring about my surroundings. The surrounding gravel and pavement looked like it had just received its fair share of rainfall. Harry had apparated us into a corner grove of trees, which was the center piece of a small square. Across the street from us stood a line of towering, dark houses, each looked poorly taken care of, and each having a decent pile of rubbish stored at the front of their garden. I couldn’t help but frown at the appearance of the houses. They looked like houses that could’ve been taken out of my very own neighborhood. This place didn’t look like an island- or Spain, for that matter. As a matter of fact, they all looked somewhat familiar.

“Yes Hermione?” Harry asked with a grin. I didn’t answer, but noticed him rummaging through his pockets.

My mouth fell agape slightly as I went back to staring at the strange familiarity of this square and the houses. My heart seemed to jump into my throat as my eyes fell across the house number to the slight left of us.

It said, in crooked letters, and peeling paint, 11.

I looked to the immediate right, and saw 13.

“Harry, is-”

“Shh,” Harry quieted me instantly. Before I could let out another word, he pushed something into my hand and said, “Read.”

I looked down to the piece of parchment, my heart now beating rapidly. With furrowed eyebrows, I read:

‘The Potter and Lupin residence may be located at number 12 Grimmauld Place, London.’

A second after I had digested the words, Harry took the parchment from me, and scrunched it up in his fist. I looked to see what he would do with it next, but then Harry let his hands fall freely to his sides, sans crumpled ball of parchment.

“Ibiza is the nickname we use for it,” Harry whispered, lifting his arms and putting it around my shoulders.

My shock did not waver as he pulled me close, and watched the first tell tale signs of number 12 Grimmauld Place come into existence. First it was the old battered door, followed by the dirty walls and grime coated windows.

I tried to keep my jaw from unhinging further as the former residence of Harry’s godfather, Sirius Black, inflated before my eyes. I heard a chuckle from besides me and looked up to Harry, who was staring at me with a little smile on his face.

“Surprised?” he asked quietly.

I spluttered for a few seconds, before shaking my head lightly, “I hope you have a muggle repelling charm around this place. What if someone’s looking out of the window?”

Maybe it was my desire to always do things within the rules, or my position as the secretary of the head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office- whatever it was, the words slipped from my mouth before I could think otherwise.

At least Harry got a laugh from it. “Don’t worry,” he said smiling, starting to walk us across the empty street, “This place is very well protected.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, not thinking of anything else to say.

“I wonder if Remus and Tonks are up yet,” Harry said as he opened the fence and ushered me through into the small box courtyard.

“I’d love to see them,” I said back, noticing my own anticipation for the first time.

“They’ve been wanting to see you for a while now, too,” Harry replied, sending me one of his famous lopsided smiles. I stopped for a second, relishing in the look. Luckily though, he didn’t notice, and together we trotted up the stone steps. I waited as Harry began to dig around his pockets again.

“There it is,” he muttered to himself. I watched, curiously, as Harry pulled a misshaped object from his trousers. I was just about to question him on the burnt, rusty looking thing, when Harry reached forward with it, aiming in the direction of the old door knob. I frowned to myself, trying to remember the doorknob being there a few years ago. I couldn’t pinpoint every seeing it, but glanced up to the old serpent twisted, silver knocker that I had remember seeing when I was younger. It used to give me the chills, but now I wasn’t even bothered. It had been a long time since muggle-born haters had lived in this house.

There was no keyhole in the doorknob, but Harry pushed the object through nevertheless. Suddenly, the key turned a bright shade of electric blue. My eyes widened, even more befuddled, as Harry, with his other bare hand, reached forward to grasp the doorknob.

After a moment, he let go and turned back to me. “You’ve got to grab it too. Hold onto it until it goes warm.”

Swallowing, I did as Harry told me, and lifted up my hand to grab it. It was ice cold as my fingers touched the aged metal, but after a few moments, I noticed a gentle warmth inching up my hand.

For some reason, I couldn’t help myself. I looked up to Harry and smiled. Like the warmth of the doorknob meant I just earned a new friend, or something.

Harry grinned back, “If you were an enemy, it would have electrocuted you.”

My smile fell a half inch, and I immediately let go of the knob. I glared up at Harry as he let out a bark of laughter.

“Come on, I’m hungry. I want to eat something before Tonks wakes up and burns the kitchen down.”

Excitement surged through me as Harry opened the door of the old Order headquarters, and pushed me in. It had been three years since I had last seen the place, but still, I only noticed slight changes. The entry way was still dark and dapper looking, however, the thin layer of dust seemed to have vanished from the walls. The troll-leg umbrella stand, and all the snake décor was gone, too.

I felt Harry’s hands on my back, and I tried to hide my smile as I realized that he was helping me take off my coat. I was just about to turn around and return the favor when something caught my eyes.

One of my eyebrows lifted in suspicion as I edged towards the large rectangular frame. There was still a bar above the portrait that used to support the curtain that was usually covering Walburga Black’s picture. However, the curtain was gone now, as was the need for it.

I couldn’t resist the urge to lift my finger up and tap the painted Mrs. Black on the nose. I heard Harry chuckle behind me, but ignored him to further study the woman’s completely immobile face. She was frozen in an angry stance, her facial features all pulled, and stretched to give off the sign that she was in a screaming match with someone. Honestly, if you stepped back and looked at it in the right light, she actually looked pretty funny.

“Harry-”

“That is a very, very advanced freezing charm. One day she just wouldn’t shut up, so I started to research it out. You would’ve been proud.”

I let out a laugh, looking back at him, “I am.”

Harry smiled too. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get over the fluttering feeling in my stomach when he did that, but then again I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. The fluttering felt particularly lovely.

“You hungry?” He asked, breaking the silence.

I straightened up from Mrs. Black’s portrait and let out a sigh. My body was used to eating scant portions, but now that period was over with. I didn’t have to concentrate too hard to realize that I was, in fact, very hungry.

I nodded, and Harry held out his hand for me, “Come on. You remember where the kitchen is, right?”

“Yes,” I said, though still taking his hand. If he was offering, then I wasn’t going to refuse the chance to touch him.

I saw him still smiling, and it forced another smile on my face. Together, we made our way downstairs and into the basement kitchen.

…

It didn’t take too long for Harry to get a decent breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast going. I offered to help, despite how horrible I was at the craft of cooking, but Harry refused and told me to take a seat.

Our conversation was light and casual, not nearly as informative and in depth as I wanted it to be. The longer I had to keep my questions quiet, the more they seemed to multiply until it got to the point where I seemed to be concentrating more on them, then Harry’s talk of Kreacher’s never-ending impertinence and rudeness.

After I wolfed my breakfast down in record time, all I could do was watch the clock tick on. If I made to glance at Harry, then I knew I’d spit out the first question playing over in my head. I knew he was staring at me, but still I stared straight forward at the clock.

A few minutes later, Harry nudged me. “What?” I asked.

“Are you done?” he asked. The look on his face was full of perplexity.

I blinked, “Oh! Yes. Thanks, Harry,” I finished in embarrassment as Harry pointed his wand at my plate and cup. The dishes floated into the air, and zoomed in the direction of the sink.

My heart skipped a beat as Harry wiped off his hands and stood up. “So,” he started. I detected a hint of apprehension in his tone. The hint made me feel all the much better. At least he was nervous too.

“Let’s go up to your room,” I offered. I know how it must have sounded, how eager my voice was and everything, but I didn’t care what he thought. I just wanted to get him alone in a room where no one had the chance of coming in and interrupting.

“Okay,” he said, almost hoarsely. Did he expect what I was trying to do here?

Without another word, Harry got up and lead the way out into the hall and up the staircase. Once back in the entryway, we crossed over to the grand stair case, and started heading up towards the first landing.

“No more elf heads?” I asked, noticing the blank triangle, tinged a lighter shade from the years that a block of shrunken house-elf heads sat perched there.

Harry rolled his eyes, “Kreacher took it down and put it in his den. Not that we minded, though.”

My eyebrows quirked slightly. I had accepted long ago that Kreacher was the one house-elf that didn’t agree with my S.P.E.W. techniques, so I thought no further of it. If he wanted a display of dead elf heads, degrading to his race, than so be it. I had more important things to worry about.

Once we reached the second floor, I expected Harry to step off the stairs and start on down the hallway. This was, after all, the floor that he had slept on last time around. However, when he noticed me paused, he nodded his head upward.

“I stay in Sirius’s old room now.”

“Oh.” Really? After Sirius died, Harry was firm on the fact that he had never wanted to come back here again. But now he was staying in his dead godfather’s old room? Something must’ve changed with him-

“Wotcher Hermione!”

A grin spread over my face as I turned around suddenly. We had just been passing the third floor landing, when the voice of my favorite auror spoke. “Tonks! Oh my god, look at you!”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you…” I heard Harry mutter behind me, but I didn’t respond. I was too busy staring down at the bump protruding from Tonks’s night shirt.

“Your pregnant?” I asked in complete surprise.

The woman beamed at me, “Yep! Three months along. Remy and I took the whole celebrating thing to heart after Harry here got rid of that ninny of a dark lord.”

“Trust me, they did,” Harry muttered again, with a dry tone in his voice.

I tried not to laugh as Tonks threw a glare over my shoulder at him, “Shut it you,” she growled.

“Tonks, this is great. Congratulations,” I said, coming forward onto the landing and wrapping her in a gentle hug. I had never been around a pregnant woman before, but still I knew I shouldn’t squeeze as hard as I wanted to. It was hard to refrain though- I had missed Tonks so much.

“Thanks Hermione,” Tonks replied, her own excitement leaking through her voice. “I sure am glad you’re here.”

I smiled, “Me too. We’ve got so much to catch up on,” I said, again glancing down to her stomach.

“We’ve got plenty of time now. I’m sure little Harry wants you all to himself today.” I could practically hear Harry slapping a hand to his face. Even my own face turned red. Tonks sure did have a way with words…

But, the woman wasn’t paying any mind to the humiliation she’d just cause. “Remus and I are going to just keep quiet in bed all day. Feel free to stay as long as you want,” she finished happily. Furtiveness wasn’t her best quality, because I managed to catch the wink she sent over me at Harry. I looked back and saw Harry’s cheeks flush.

“Er, right, well I was just going to take her up to my room now,” Harry said as I stepped back to him, “Um-”

Tonks held her hand up, “No need to say any more, Harry. I am carrying an innocent here.”

I think both of our cheeks managed to redden even more at that one. I felt the need to rectify what Harry had tried to say, but he beat me to it. “No, that’s not what I meant! We were just-”

“Alright, alright,” Tonks went on, putting her hands over her hears, “No need to go into details. See you later Hermione.”

I managed a quick, tightlipped wave at the pregnant auror, it being the only thing my mortified self could manage. I didn’t even want to know what Tonks thought we were about to get up to…

“I swear, if she wasn’t carrying my godchild, I’d strangle her. See what I mean?” Harry asked defensively, his cheeks still slightly pink.

I knew he was referring to his earlier comment about living nine months with Tonks, but I only shrugged, “I’m sure she’s just having a go at us, Harry. It is Tonks, after all.”

“That’s always her excuse,” Harry grumbled, sending one last bitter glare at the stairs Tonks had disappeared down. “Come on,” he said, a second later, grabbing my hand and leading me on, further up into the house.

I wasn’t sure where Sirius’s old bedroom was, but once we reached the top floor, I didn’t think it could be anywhere else. He was still holding my hand as we continued on into the landing.

There were only two doors up here, and we just passed one. The only other option must have been the door on the far end of the hall, facing us.

“Here it is,” Harry mumbled once we reached the last door. There was no magical key needed this time; he simply reached forward and twisted it open.

As the door pushed away, a large, brightly decorated room revealed itself. I was kind of shocked by it’s demeanor, since the rest of the house stayed true to its cobwebs and gloomy atmosphere. However, Sirius’s room was decorated quite sprightly.

“Did you decorate it like this?” I asked Harry as he pushed me in and then turned to close the door.

“No, I haven’t decorated the room at all. Can’t. Sirius put permanent sticking charms on everything.” I grinned, immediately understanding why. I didn’t think the Blacks would much approve of the red and gold Gryffindor banners, or the wall dedicated to pictures of bikini clad models.

I shot Harry a squinted look after seeing the poster girls. He flushed. “I swear they’re not mine.”

Of course I knew this was true, but a bit of teasing never hurt, “Sure Harry, sure.”

I didn’t look to see his reaction. The surprised liveliness of the room pulled me in. I started walking in further, noticing all the little trinkets Sirius had stored on a mid-wall shelf. A bookshelf sat in the corner of the room, only one of the shelves used to store Sirius’s poor collection of works. I was too in awe to scowl at it.

Past the window looking out into greater London, and on the right side of the room was a desk piled up with books and random scrolls of parchment. A few broken quills and inkbottles were pushed into the corner, while a sack of owl treats sat in the opposite corner. With a fond grin, I realized this must’ve been Harry’s workplace. I walked over to observe the books:

Asiatic Anti-Venoms, Confronting the Faceless, Defensive Magical Theory, Hogwarts: A History, Magick Most Evile, and even a copy of Advanced Potion Making…

This time, I did scowl.

“That’s not-”

“No, that’s no the Prince’s book. I got a new one,” Harry said from behind me.

I spun around, a little surprised by his closeness. However, the look in his eyes made me relax. My scowl disappeared. “Good,” I said.

“Learned my lesson with strange books. For good this time.”

I bit my lip. Even though I’d always thought he was an idiot for dabbling with such suspicious articles, I didn’t want him to think that. I needed to change the subject.

I looked over to the opposite corner, an insignificant comment on the tip of my tongue, but suddenly I stopped. I couldn’t help it. Two beautiful, grinning faces, were wrapped up together and smiling from Harry’s bedside table. Forgetting my minor fumble, I walked over to get a closer look.

I’d never realized how much Harry had gotten from his mother. True, he looked identical to James, but there were subtle differences. He had the same laugh lines as her; the same quirk in his eyebrow.

“Wow…” I mumbled, more to myself than anything. I glanced to the next silver frame, expecting to see another reminder of his parents, but stopped short when I saw that it was the same picture occupying the space on my ratty dresser.

Suddenly, the reality of everything hit me full force. My shoulders sagged as I reached for the picture of us and Ron, smiling and waving in our fourth year. I could’ve had that happiness sooner. Nine months of searching all could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been so bloody daft…

Faintly, I heard footsteps behind me. Harry must’ve noticed something was up, “What’s wrong?”

I closed my eyes, trying to best articulate my screwed up feelings, “This whole time you’ve been so close. I can’t believe I dismissed this place so quickly. I thought just because Dumbledore was dead…”

Harry sighed. My self-loathing- I guess you could call it that- must’ve been annoying him. “Hermione, that was kind of the point. We wanted everyone to think that they couldn’t get into the house.”

I couldn’t let myself off the hook that easily, “Still. I can’t believe I was that stupid.”

“Hermione, you’re not stupid,” Harry said more forcefully this time.

I didn’t really know what else to say. A part of me thought that it was pointless holding onto this- Harry was here now. Rational Hermione would let the past be the past, and focus on the future. But then again, I hadn’t been rational for a while now…

I shrugged wordlessly, and leaned back to set the picture down. I hoped Harry hadn’t read into my hesitation, but when he sighed, I knew luck wasn’t on my side.

I felt his hand grab my shoulder. Unwillingly, I turned to meet him. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“I-I…” What could I say to that? Yes? No? Maybe? It’s not like that’s the most simplest of questions…

“I wouldn’t take it back, though,” he went on, despite my deliberation, “Even though I put you through all this pain and uncertainty, at least you’re here. Safe.”

Why did it always come back to my safety? “I-”

“Please don’t argue. I’m not trying to say that you couldn’t handle yourself. But you didn’t see the things that the Death Eaters did to innocent muggle girls and muggle-borns. You didn’t hear their screams. You were much better off here where the Weasley’s and other members of the Order could’ve kept an eye on you.”

The same pain from last night came back and etched itself in Harry’s eyes. For a brief moment, as I stared uninterrupted into them, I saw flashes of what he might’ve been talking about. As my curiosity peaked, I couldn’t help myself, “What did they do to them?”

“Horrible stuff,” Harry muttered evasively, before giving me a dark look, “You’ve heard the term playing with your food, right?.”

My mouth fell agape. And then, I was fumbling again. I had to redress myself, even though I really hadn’t done anything. “I-I just never wanted to be that distanced from you,” I told him, wishing the harsh look in his eyes would disappear.

To my relief, he softened, “I never wanted that either. But like I said, I wanted you safe more.”

I nodded in perfect understanding. This was my perfect opportunity. I reached forward, and as gently as possible, grabbed his hand. “Can you tell me more? About what it was like?”

It was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed, “I don’t know where to start.”

“From the beginning. Did you come here after leaving the Burrow?”

My question came quick, drenched with excitement. With a half-hearted sigh, Harry pulled me down to sit on the bed next to him. He gave me a look- almost a warning one- before he finally answered, “No, first we went to Lupin’s flat. Even though it was protected, it was really small and really only built for just one person.”

Understandable; a werewolf didn’t need much leg room. “When did you decide to move here?”

This time, Harry hesitated. I stiffened, hoping I already hadn’t taken it too far. My curiosity wasn’t nearly satiated. To my relief though, he didn’t stop.

“After we got the cup. It, uh… kind of messed me up, so we had to go somewhere more secluded to lay low for a while. I didn’t want to come here, but it was really our only option.”

“I thought that after a secret keeper died, the secret was lost forever?”

A dry smile pulled at Harry’s lips, “Only if the house is left to no one. Sirius had a will. He left me everything.”

The smile meant he felt flattered, but even I knew Sirius would’ve left something to Harry. He loved him like a son. “Oh… What do you mean the cup messed you up? How?” Despite what I found out about horcruxes, their was never a specific text on Voldemort’s horcruxes. Most of it was still a mystery to me. Had they actually hurt Harry?

Harry grimaced at the memory, “It was my magic that had to kill it, so when I destroyed them, it sort of… hurt me in a way.”

“Since Voldemort is connected through you and the horcrux?” I put together quickly.

Harry nodded, “Yeah. And since Remus was there to witness, his magic was temporarily altered-”

I gasped, “The horcrux did something to his magic?”

“Yeah, it has to do with the horcrux being made of such powerful, dark magic. The magic running through Remus seemed to like… retreat from the darkness of it. Therefore he was a little out of whack for a few days.”

I bit my lip. Already, this was horrifying to me, but I had a feeling Harry was only scratching the surface of the reality. “That still doesn’t explain why you had to move locations,” I probed.

Harry shifted, “Um, well…”

“What is it?” My question was barely a breath.

Harry’s cheeks reddened in what must have been embarrassment, “Remus could only muster a light silencio. I was screaming through the charm. His neighbors were starting to really freak out…”

I was expecting his explanation to be horrible, but that didn’t mean hearing it was any easier. Again, I bit my lip, “It was that painful?”

Quickly, too quickly almost, Harry shook his head, “It was just like a really terrible headache. To be honest, I don’t remember much of it. I started coming off it right when Tonks came back from Order business and took me and Lupin here.”

“Did you have to suffer when you destroyed each one?” I asked, almost dreading to hear the answer.

Harry shrugged, “Yeah…”

“Did the pain get worse each time?”

His thumb rubbed over the top of my hand that he still held, and suddenly I felt like such a nancy. He was the one that had been in pain, yet I was being comforted.

“It was like I could feel Voldemort being killed away little by little,” he answered after a second.

“I understand if you don’t want to tell me any more…”

“No, no… I do…”

I couldn’t tell if he was reassuring me for my sake, or his, but still I went on, “Where were they all? What were they all?”

“Well, the diary was one. Dumbledore destroyed Marvolo Gaunt’s ring before I knew about everything. We… went after Slytherin’s locket the night he died. It was a fake, but the real locket ended up being here-”

“Here?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah. You see, the fake locket had a note in it. The writer said that he had found out Voldemort’s secret and that he had removed the locket to destroy it himself. It was signed R.A.B., but I had no idea who that could’ve been. I forgot about it for the time being, hoping that R.A.B. actually had destroyed it. When I realized that he hadn’t, I was really pissed. Lupin brought me back here and I couldn’t help cursing whoever he was. That’s when Kreacher came out and started hitting me with a pan. He was yelling for me to stop badmouthing his master.”

My eyes shot open wide, “His master?”

I frowned when I saw Harry grin slightly, “R.A.B.; Regulus Arcturus Black. Sirius’s younger brother.”

My eyes went out of focused as I thought about the possibility. Sirius always said there was never anything good about his family. But did he ever know of his brother’s courage? The monumental risk he took for the light?

“How- how did you find out that he hadn’t destroyed it?”

Immediately, I knew I wasn’t going to get a straight answer. Harry’s face twisted into the obvious expression of hesitation, “Er… just a run in with Voldemort. But I’ll get to that later.”

“Okay,” I said, hoping I would remember to ask him again even though I was eager to get back to the topic of horcruxes. “What were the others?”

“Well, Dumbledore had this theory that the horcruxes would be objects pertaining to Hogwarts, and the Hogwarts founders. So far, we knew one was Slytherin’s, and one was probably Hufflepuff’s cup. It took us longer to figure out Gryffindor’s and Ravenclaw’s contribution.” He spit out the last word as if it where a rotten egg. I couldn’t help but grimace.

“What were they?”

“Gryffindor’s wand and Ravenclaw’s spectacles.”

My mouth fell wider apart at the last one. I’d remember reading about those spectacles in Hogwarts: A History back in first year. The wearer of the spectacles would see any of their questions answered. It made them smarter, in it’s own special way. However, the idea that a piece of Voldemort’s soul had taken up lodging in Ravenclaw’s heirloom made any desire I once had for the object to vanish.

I barely registered Harry speaking, “And get this- part of the reason Voldemort had special powers that no one else could grasp was because he had a bit of his soul living inside Gryffindor’s wand. Even though he hated Gryffindor, that’s really what made him so powerful.”

Harry snickered and I briefly shared in his amusement. Though, a sudden thought crawled up into my head, and I couldn’t help but voice it, “Wait, that was only six. What was the last one?”

“Nagini.” The same dark look from earlier appeared back in his eyes. I almost regretted asking.

“How-how did you destroy them?”

Harry shifted, “Gryffindor’s sword helped with most of them. I used the killing curse on Nagini, and I asked Slytherin’s locket to destroy itself in Parsletongue.”

I wasn’t scared by that. I didn’t like the idea of Harry having to use that curse, but still it didn’t scare me. “You said you had a run-in with Voldemort.”

“Yeah… er, he was really, really angry one night, the night after I killed Nagini. The pain in my scar woke me up. I heard him order away all of his guards. I figured that it was as good a time as ever to go after him… at the time, I thought all of the horcruxes were done for. He was back in Little Hangleton… so I just went for it.”

“Alone?” My voice broke, but I was too focused to feel embarrassed.

“Yeah. I’ll stop-”

“No!” I said with more determination than I thought I could muster, “I want to know.”

He sighed, “Well, when I got there, I realized the Death Eaters weren’t gone. I sneaked past them easily enough. But when I got into Voldemort’s room, it sort of backfired on me.”

He glanced up at me, maybe looking for signs of fear. However, a moment later, he continued, “He knew I was coming, I guess. Through our connection. Anyway, my curse didn’t get far, and before I knew it they had me surrounded.”

Okay, maybe he was right. Maybe the details were too much for me. I shook my heard, trying to clear the mental pictures from my mind. “How did you escape?” I asked quickly.

“Dobby,” he answered, the wry smile back on his lips.

A genuine smile took over my face. “Dobby,” I repeated. Of course; that elf was loyal to no end.

“House-elf magic is dead useful when it comes down to it. He was able to apparate through them, grab me, and go.”

“Where did he take you?”

“To the Dursley’s.”

My eyebrows shot up again, “What? The Dursley’s?”

Harry let out a laugh. How nice that he was amused by this… “Yeah,” he replied, “He couldn’t bring me here, and couldn’t apparate me inside of Hogwarts. I guess he figured the Dursley’s was the next safest place.”

“Did you stay there long?”

Harry shook his head, “No. I had the cloak, so he apparated me over to the doorstep here. It was rude, but I didn’t let him inside. It was best that he didn’t know everything.”

I couldn’t see how, but I guess I couldn’t exactly hate him for placing a house-elf’s safety equal to any other human person. Despite my thoughts, I frowned slightly, “Were you hurt?”

“Nothing a few healing charms couldn’t fix,” he answered. His mistake was not making eye contact.

“You’re lying,” I whispered. Harry glanced up at me sheepishly. I didn’t want to dwell on the matter any more, but my mind was back to it’s self-hurting tendencies. “I wish I could’ve been there to make you better,” I muttered again.

Harry squeezed my hand, “You’re doing that now.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing away the painful images. Uppers and downers, uppers and downers. One second I was on the edge of my seat, eager to hear more, and the next I wanted to flee this place; take Harry with me, and just hole up in a safe house with him for the rest of our lives, where no one else could ever hurt us. However, as pathetic as it might sound, my knowledge was like an addiction. It was always there, begging for more.

“So, you realized that the locket wasn’t actually destroyed? Did you find it immediately?”

Harry snorted, “No. It took about a week. At first, we went all around, trying to find places that Regulus hung out or was particularly fond of. We came up with nothing. I was desperate- that’s the only reason I went to Kreacher.” He looked to me with a quirked eyebrow, but my face was still dead. He continued promptly, “We figured that he had at least brought the locket back here to work on destroying it. I asked Kreacher about it, and he said that he’d seen Regulus wearing the locket. Anyway, long story short, when we were cleaning up the drawing room a couple years ago, Kreacher came in and nicked the thing. It was hidden away in his den.”

Frustration consumed me. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. Harry obviously noticed. He grabbed my cheek to face him while he asked, “What’s wrong?”

I sighed, finally opening my eyes. “Kreacher didn’t nick it, I gave it to him. Over Christmas, when we were cleaning. I wanted him to like me more, and I thought giving him a present would do just that…”

My eyes must’ve been mistaken, but it looked like Harry smiled fondly. “You were always too kind to the little bastard. But I don’t blame you for it. At the time, none of us knew what it was.”

I felt a little better with his reassurance. I cleared my throat uncomfortably, “So… you destroyed it with Parsletongue?”

Harry nodded, “Yep. Worked on the first try.”

“Was it extra painful since it was the last horcrux?” Honestly. Did I want to feel horrible? Why the hell was I asking to hear this? Self-hurting tendencies sucked arse.

Harry’s lips twisted up. Another sign that he was lying. “It was fine.”

My stomach lurched, but I moved on, “After that, you went to find him?”

“A few days later, yeah. It was different this time, going back to Little Hangleton. Even though I was nervous, I was more sure of myself in a way.”

My reaction to that was to bite my lip, “Were Remus and Tonks with you?”

“No. I needed to go at it completely alone. They were at too much of a risk. I knew that the Death Eaters couldn’t touch me. But that wasn’t true for Tonks and Lupin.”

I nodded, but I didn’t like the hard edge in his voice. It was too harsh for the Harry I knew and loved. “So how did you get to Voldemort?”

I marveled at his brashness as another cheeky smile lit up his face, “I walked right in. I’m sure a few of the Death Eater pissed themselves. Anyway, they took my wand and marched me straight up to him. He was pretty outraged when he saw me- I could feel it. But I could also tell he was weaker than last time. I called him out on that-” I rolled my eyes. It was such a Harry move… “- and then we exchanged a few words. I told him to prove that he was more powerful than me. And of course, Voldemort refused to be humiliated in front of his minions. He ordered them to give me my wand back, and… we dueled.”

I raised my eyebrow in annoyance. Did he really expect for me to let him stop there? “And?” I probed anxiously.

Harry sighed, “Well, our wands connected like they did in fourth year, only it was different this time because we were both using unforgivables. But like I said, his extraordinary power was mainly funded from Gryffindor’s wand. Without that, he really was much weaker. My curse overpowered his after a bit, and… he was destroyed. It completely obliterated him, just like the rest of his soul fragments were. All of the Death Eaters in the room were destroyed too.”

My jaw was completely unhinged; my eyes wide. Was it really possible? Voldemort’s desire of complete power really was his demise? And his closest followers as well? All this, and Harry had come out completely unharmed? Impossible.

“Were- were you hurt?”

“It was a bit worse this time… The connection between us was being severed, and that was what really hurt me. It didn’t help that everyone was screaming…”

My eyes shut instinctively. I could hardly imagine all of the mayhem- hardly imagine Harry being in the center of it.

Before I knew it, he was continuing, “Lupin found me a few hours later. He brought me back here, and him and Tonks fixed me up as best as possible. It was alright, really.”

Harry reached over and ran a hand down my back. That was the only thing that gave me the courage to go on. “Why where the Death Eaters killed too?”

Harry frowned, “Their dark marks, I suppose. They were all interconnected to Voldemort. It makes sense, I guess; if he was gone, he wanted his closest followers dead too.”

“But some Death Eaters were taken to jail after. I read in the Prophet that some surrendered at the Ministry after word got out that you defeated him.” Of course, at the time I read this article, my only care was finding Harry. At the time I didn’t find it as interesting as I probably should’ve.

“Only his closest supporters were marked, remember?” he asked, rubbing my back again.

I nodded, figuring that made sense. “The worst ones,” I muttered darkly a moment later.

I heard Harry snort, “Too right.”

I glanced up at him, staring hard into his eyes. It still seemed impossible to me. I’d always known he was the bravest person I knew, but still. To manage something like this! Alone! And here he was, sitting with me, talking. Being normal. He had gone up against the most violent of Death Eaters, and the darkest sorcerer our world has ever known. He should’ve been scarred. He should’ve been hurt beyond repair. But he wasn’t. He was okay. He was safe.

The gratitude in my heart throbbed mercilessly. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned in and kissed him. I felt him respond immediately, giving just as good as got. We stayed like that for a few moments, our mouths pressed together and working frantically against each other. After what seemed like forever, I felt Harry smile. I pulled back to see what it was.

He was grinning at me, his face still so close to mine. “Should I put my life in danger more often?” he joked.

Under any other circumstances, I’m sure I would have shot him a glare and maybe poked him hard in the gut. However, I was concerned with something else.

“What was it like for you? Leaving while knowing you might not come back?”

Slowly, the smile slipped from Harry’s face. After a while, he shrugged, “Hard as hell. I wanted more than anything just to see everyone and spill my guts to you all before I left, but I knew I couldn’t do that.”

I sighed, “I wish you would’ve.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at me, “Are you sure you would’ve reacted the same way?”

The reservation I had felt when we first broached the topic was gone. I was confident now. “The feelings have always been there, Harry,” I told him, completely sure, “They didn’t just come out of nowhere.”

Harry grinned once more, “Really? So I haven’t been deluding myself, thinking that you really didn’t hit your head too hard last night?”

This time, I put my all into sending him a nasty glare, “Piss off!”

He let out a laugh. “You know I’m just kidding,” he said, grabbing my hand and bringing it up to his chest.

I bit my lip, pretending to be in thought, “Well, if that’s an apology, then I guess I can forgive you.”

“I hate it when your mad at me.” His tone made it sound like gentle teasing. But by his look, I knew he was being serious.

“When have I really been mad at you?” I asked, placing a hand underneath his chin. He must’ve known now, that my anger over him using the Prince’s book was just because he was better in class than me. Other than that…

He raised an eyebrow, “Do the last nine months count?”

I raised a mocking eyebrow, “Depends.”

We stared at each other for a moment, both with strategically placed raised eyebrows on our foreheads. Finally though, Harry gave me a soft smile.

“It was a good motivating factor, when I think about it,” he said. “The whole time I knew I’d have to make it so that I could come back and properly apologize to you.”

My cheeks blushed, exhibiting my flattery. “Was that really what you were thinking when you went in to face him?”

Harry nodded his head from side to side, “That, among other things.”

“What other things?” I asked, once more in my I-don’t-really-want-to-know whisper.

Harry shrugged, “I was psyching myself out because I knew I was either going to die, or I’d become a killer.”

My shoulders fell. Of course- those things. I took a deep breath, readying to give himself the lecture I had given him a thousand times. He wasn’t a murderer, like Voldemort. He never had a choice- this was something only he could do, and by doing it he was doing the world a huge favor.

Harry, however, cut me off before I could even get a word out, “But after, after I woke up and everything, I didn’t feel guilty like I thought I would. It was like… satisfying…”

I smiled, realizing what this all must’ve meant for him. “I can imagine that had something to do with your parents. I’m sure they’d be really proud of you.”

Harry nodded, and then shrugged lightly, “I didn’t see them, like last time.”

“Prior incantatem?”

“Yeah. Just a bunch of people I didn’t even recognize came out. Not even Cedric…”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I simply moved my hand from beneath his chin up to his cheek.

I couldn‘t be sure of what he was thinking, but his deliberate sigh a moment later confused me.

“Sorry,” he muttered stoically. I could tell it was forced.

“No,” I said, quickly shaking my head, “I want you to tell me these things, Harry. You can unload anything on me.” The fear and horror I felt from hearing the vague details from before was forgotten. Suddenly, all I cared about was comforting him. I didn’t care what it did to me.

“I know, it’s just not really fair though, is it?”

I shrugged, “Would you want me to keep things from you?”

“No, of course not,” he said quickly.

“Then there you go. You can tell me anything.”

It took a few seconds, but eventually Harry looked up, the hesitation and pain completely absent from his expression. He shot me a wry grin, “I’ll tell you another little secret then.”

I gave him a skeptical look, “What?”

“I’ve never,” my breath caught as he turned on the edge of the bed and started pushing me down, “never, had a girl in my room before.”

“That’s good-” I managed to get out before Harry leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine.

What had we just been talking about? Did it matter? Oh bugger- I’d figure it out later. For once, I wanted to just shut my brain off and give in to my instincts. The instincts I didn’t really know existed until last night.

Maybe he’d been right all along in his theories. Maybe my hard work hadn’t exactly paid off in the way I thought it would, but I hadn’t stopped thinking about him. I hadn’t given up. Harry was safe and sound, in my arms, working wonders with that mouth of his. What more could I possibly ask for in life?

One thing I knew for sure: this was the start of a beautiful beginning.

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