Library Confessions

owanalilypotter

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 14/12/2008
Last Updated: 14/12/2008
Status: completed

James Potter and Lily Evans have finally managed to be a little civil to each other after years of fighting. When Lily one day agrees to tutor James for Charms, she makes a realization and gets a pleasant surprise in return.... I know, I suck at summaries but the fic is much better, I promise (or at least I hope it is)Pointless pointless fluff!

Chapters

1. Library Confessions

1. Library Confessions

A/N: PLEASE READ FIRST! Hello! This is my very first fanfiction I have ever written, and I would really like some feedback! Keep in mind that I am only twelve and am completely new to this. This is a pointless fluffy PWP that I have written for your enjoyment (I'm not kidding when I say fluffy!). This fanfiction is dedicated to my wonderful beta and best friend Raluca (but call her Maria unless you want her to KILL YOU!!! lol just kidding!) You rock Raluca!! Also, this fanfic is also dedicated to my other bff Michelle who pushed me into finishing this fic! And now, enough babbling and onto the fic!

Disclaimer: Do people even read these? Eh well, I may ship Lily and James which is a canon ship, but that doesn't mean I'm JK Rowling! That being said, I own nothing that you recognize as JKR's.

Lily Evans was having a very bad day. As she ran down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she was absolutely sure that she must have the worst luck in history. Why was she feeling so sure of her unluckiness you ask? Well, it all started on the morning of a dark and gloomy Friday. The thundering rain should have tipped her off right away that it was going to be an abysmal day.

As Lily started to get dressed that morning, she learned the hard way never to leave her shoes in the same room with a girl who owns a cat. Apparently, Emmeline's cat Fluffy (What an unimaginative name Lily always thought) had mistaken Lily's school shoes for his litter box and…well, you can imagine. Lily had missed breakfast because she spent most of the morning trying to wash out the cat poop smell out of her shoes.

Because of the whole cat-poop-shoe fiasco, Lily was nearly ten minutes late for Charms, her favorite class. Professor Flitwick stopped talking to the class and looked up when a famished and out of breath Lily Evans burst through the door.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” he tooted in his squeaky voice, “You're late Ms. Evans. I'm afraid I must take away ten points from Gryffindor”

“Yes, professor” Lily answered before hurrying to her usual spot in the classroom. She didn't even notice that James Potter's eyes were on her the minute she entered the room.

Halfway into the lesson, Professor Flitwick asked the class to hand in their essays that was assigned the night before. Lily searched her bag for the essay but, she couldn't find it. Her heart nearly stopped. Where was it? She was sure that she had finished it. Lily had rolled it up when she was done, went upstairs, and put it on the…then it hit her. Lily had left it on her nightstand and meant to grab it with her, but she was in such a hurry to get to Charms, that she had forgotten it.

“Er, P-Professor Flitwick? I seem to have forgotten my essay in my dormitory.” Flitwick let out a sigh.

“Ms. Evans, this is most unlike you. I'm very sorry but I must give you detention. Come down to the Great Hall tonight at 8:00 pm.”

Lily nodded miserably and grudgingly continued with her work.

The rest of the day passed on with similar mishaps such as Lily forgetting her homework or losing her last quill. She felt greatly relieved when she heard the last bell symbolizing the end of classes. She rushed out of Potions after a disastrous episode where she added powdered horn of Bicorn instead of powdered unicorn horn to her potion. That mistake had caused the whole thing to explode and cover everyone within five meters of Lily's cauldron with violet goop.

All this brought her back to where Lily started pondering her unluckiness in the first place, the school hallways. She was hurrying as fast as she could to get back to the Great Hall for detention to prevent any more misfortunes happening to her. Unfortunately, the Gods were apparently not happy with her that day.

"Evans! Hey, EVANS!" Lily sighed exasperatedly as she is able to recognize the voice of James Potter from a mile away; whether it was welcome or not. She turned around to meet the owner of said voice who was striding towards her.

James Potter used to be Lily's arch-nemesis since third year. Lily had captured his fancy the minute he laid eyes on her. Ever since then, James had asked her out non-stop hoping to have a chance with her. However, his attempts were in vain. Lily would no sooner go out with James than swallow a gallon of undiluted Bubotuber pus. James was much too arrogant and egotistical at that time for her taste. However, James fancy for her never wavered. He couldn't help it. James had never in is life seen anyone quite as beautiful as her. Her hair was just one of the things that intrigued him. It reminded him of the dark red satin dress his mother always wore to parties. James was sure that Lily's hair would be even silkier than his mother's dress.

But that was a different story.

Once seventh year came around however, James had definitely changed. He was no longer the idiotic annoying git he was in fifth year, and was actually a charming and handsome young man. Sadly, Lily just couldn't let herself believe that…even though she secretly wanted to. Although they were not on first name basis yet, Lily and James were a lot more civil towards each other.

Lily watched as James ran a hand through his unruly hair as he walked. It was a habit of his that he did whenever he was nervous. Lily suddenly found herself wondering if his hair really was as soft as she imagined it. Lily mentally slapped herself for thinking such things.

"What do you want now Potter?" Lily snapped angrily. She hadn't meant to snap at James but it was a very stressful day and her temper was already bubbling. She hoped James didn't take it the wrong way. Unfortunately for her, he looked rather taken aback. He hadn't done anything…yet, but James had, and still did have, an unfortunate gift to tick Lily off with just a few words.

"What do you want Potter?" She repeated rather annoyed. "And spit it out, I don't have all day!" she added.

James mentally shook himself and took a deep breath preparing himself for what he was about to ask her.

"I was wondering Evans, if you would like to-" but his sentence was cut short because Lily had stamped her foot in frustration and just lost it.

"Oh my GOD Potter! Can't you ever take a hint!? I thought I made it clear to you two years ago that I'd rather date the Giant Squid than you! Now, PLEASE stop begging me to go out with you!" Lily didn't mean to be, but she was fuming. Everything was just going so wrong that day and Lily was so stressed. She exploded at James without meaning too.

However, it was James' turn to become frustrated. He crossed his arms and his hazel eyes flashed with anger while saying, "If you would've let me finish Evans, I would've asked you if you would like to tutor me on Charms because I'm falling behind, and I know for a fact that you excel in that class!" Lily's mouth open ever-so-slightly in surprise but James didn't stop there.

"You know Evans you've really got to stop biting my head off every time I try to ask you a question because believe it or not, I have feelings!" James was breathing heavily, and Lily's eyes started to water slightly. "Also,” James added, "whether you like it or not, I have changed, and if you would just give me a chance, you'd realize it too!"

Lily was now gaping like a goldfish out of the fishbowl. She stood there and let James' words wash over her like water. As much as she would like to deny it, she can't help but realize that James was right. He had in fact changed for the better. Lily noticed that he had stopped hexing Slytherins just for the fun of it, that there was a definite decrease in the useless pranks that James usually sets off, and that he had actually managed to deflate his oversized ego by bragging and boasting a lot less. Lily even overheard Marlene McKinnon, her best friend, talking to Sirius Black (James' best mate) about how James spends more time tutoring first years for Transfiguration than pranking unsuspecting victims. Lily noticed as well that James hadn't asked her out or bugged her once since the start of 7th year. Lily looked down as she thought about all this. She didn't think she could look James in the eye anymore. "Sorry" she mumbled quietly to James.

There was a very awkward silence between the two. James had cooled down from his outburst and was now shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"So..." he started quietly, "would you like to tutor me?" he finished just as quietly. Lily looked up and stared straight into those gorgeous hazel eyes of his. She opened her mouth to say something but she was at a complete loss for words.

James took her silence to mean "no", and his shoulders drooped sadly. "It's ok, I understand. You don't even want to talk to me anymore, so I'll go. I don't know why I even bothered to ask you in the first place." As James turned to go, a little voice in Lily's head said, what are you doing!? Tell him yes you stupid girl! Lily decided to go with this voice, and called out, “Potter, wait!” James turned around hopefully.

“I-I think it wouldn't…er…hurt to…erm…t-tutor you for a while…” Lily stammered lamely as she blushed as red as her hair. James looked surprised at first, but then his expression turned to one of delight.

“Great! I'll meet you in the library on Saturday at say, 2:00pm?” James said. Lily nodded.

“That'd be great.” She said. “So….see you” Lily muttered after a while and then she did something that shocked both of them. She kissed James on the cheek.

Lily blushed an even darker shade of red (if it was possible), and shot off towards the Great Hall leaving a very bemused James Potter behind her.

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Pacing up and down the room of the 7th year girls dormitory, that's how Marlene McKinnon found her best friend Lily Evans biding her time after her detention, along with Emmeline Vance and Alice Smith (soon to be Longbottom) watching her from their beds. Marlene could tell that Lily felt frustrated, confused, and a little guilty as well. Marlene shot a look of confusion to Alice and Emmeline and they both mouthed back one word, Potter. Ah, now she understood what was wrong. She sighed sympathetically and shook her head slightly before walking over to Lily, and placing both hands onto her shoulders to stop her pacing.

“Lily what wrong? What's Potter done now?” Marlene asked while wondering what on earth James Potter could have done to make Lily create a hole in the carpet.

Lily didn't answer but just sighed heavily and sank out of Marlene's clutches and onto the bed while holding her head in her hands. Marlene sat down beside Lily, put a comforting arm around her best friend, and repeated the question. “What's he done now?”

Lily sighed again and all but shouted, “Nothing! That's the point; he's done absolutely nothing wrong!” Marlene was confused. If James had done nothing wrong, then why was Lily sitting here looking like she was on the verge of tears?

“Then, what's the problem?” She asked Lily. Lily didn't answer right away. She sat on the bed thinking about Marlene's question and wondering about the answer. What was the problem? Isn't it good that Potter had stopped pulling ridiculous pranks on unsuspecting students? Isn't it good that he ceased hexing Snape for no good reason? And it was very good that he finally stopped asking her out since the beginning of the year....right? Lily pondered all of this before truthfully answering Marlene's question, “I don't know”.

They both stayed in that position for quite a while until slowly, the gears started to turn in Marlene's head. James had stopped annoying Lily, and she in turn was confused and -dare she say- sad that he had ceased his ranting. Could Lily possibly be missing the attention James gave her? Marlene let out a little sigh and decided to use blunt honesty on Lily.

“I think you like him.” Marlene had expected Lily to deny such a thing. She had expected Lily to throw a pillow at her and call her crazy, but what Marlene heard from her best friend's mouth was definitely not what she expected. “I-I think I do...”

Marlene, Emmeline and Alice all stared at each other in stunned silence. They all had suspected that Lily had some sort of crush on James Potter but to hear the words coming straight from her mouth made the statement feel so true....so undeniable. After what felt like an hour, Emmeline, being the joker of the four broke the silence.

“So, Lily Evans finally admitted to liking James Potter? Hmm...” she said while tilting her head back and searching the ceiling as though she was trying to locate something.

Confused, Alice asked her, “What are you looking for?”

Smiling, Emmeline looked at all her friends with an amused expression and answered, “The flying pigs” Three of the girls laughed while Lily blushed and giggled. When they all stopped laughing, they all bid each other good night as it was getting quite late, changed into their pajamas, and crawled into bed.

Lily lay awake for most of the night thinking things over. She knew that she liked James, she couldn't kid herself anymore. But what if what she was feeling has nothing to do with just fancying and physical appearance...what if it has to do with how her hearts flutters ever so slightly when he talks to her? Or how it breaks when she saw that James was hurt by all the bad things she said to him. Lily was not dumb; she knew that in fifth year her words to James Potter saying that he was an arrogant bullying toe rag had stung him....bad. And it wasn't because he cared about his ego; it was because to him it proved just how much Lily hated him. She dearly wished that she could tell James that she didn't hate him. She never had in fact. All these feelings for James Potter meant that she indeed cared about him very much.

With past boyfriends, if one of them was hurt or died in the war that was raging out in the wizarding world, she would be very sad of course, but she would be able to move on. If James Potter was taken away from her life....she couldn't even start to describe how utterly miserable she would be. She wouldn't be able to eat, she wouldn't be able to sleep, heck she wouldn't be able to live. All this could only mean one thing; she was in love with James Potter, plain and simple. Now, the only thing that was left for her to do was to tell him this, but how? Surely he was over her by now...right?

“Guys?” Lily whispered out into the night not knowing nor caring whether or not her friends can hear her. “I know I told you that I like James Potter,” Lily continued silently, “but the truth is, I don't like James, I love him, with all my heart and I don't know what to do about it.” She sighed heavily and said one last thing “Now, I don't know if you heard any of this, but if you did please find some way of helping me because for the first time in my life, I'm confused about James Potter”.

With that said, Lily rolled over and let sleep take over her oblivious to the shocked upright figures of her best friends who had indeed heard every single word she said.

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James awoke to the feeling of a large soft object being hit repeatedly onto his face. It didn't take him a second to realize that it was his best friend Sirius Black using his own method of waking him up.

Sirius beamed when he saw that his best friend was in fact awake (although he was shooting Sirius looks of murder), and all but yelled, “Rise and shine lover boy! It's the big day! Today's the day you confess your undying love for Lily to her!” Behind his back Remus rolled his eyes and Peter just looked confused (as always). James took a moment to ponder what Sirius said.

“Whadayamean, Pa'foot?” James asked through a huge yawn. Sirius sighed dramatically and pointed to the calendar. James shifted his position so he can look at it, and felt his insides disappear when he saw what day it was. It was Saturday. James audibly gulped but other than that, he showed no sign of anxiety for the coming day.

James quickly climbed out of bed and faced his best friend. “What do you mean, Padfoot? I'm just going to study with Lily today.” He said with the most convincing face he could possibly muster.

Sirius snorted and said, “Yeah right, studying more like studying each other's tonsils!” James blushed about fifty shades of red (is that even possible?), while Remus and Peter tried in vain to hide their snorts of laughter.

James regained the use of his voice after that momentary minute apparently called Let's-Embarrass-The-Hell-Out-Of-James-Potter, and said in a defiant voice, “She probably still doesn't to come near me with a ten-foot broomstick so you guys have nothing to worry about.” , before heading off to the bathroom to take a shower.

Sirius smirked at the closed bathroom door which concealed James and muttered, “I wouldn't be so sure of that Prongsie-boy...” before turning to Remus who nodded and said, “For once I agree with you Padfoot.” Peter just looked confused....again.

Lily woke up to a surprisingly empty room. She was usually the one who woke up first and would try to get the other lazybones out of their beds.

Lily shrugged and thought they must have wanted an early breakfast or something. She slid out of bed and grabbed her bathrobe and clothes for the day. As Lily was about to take her shampoo for her shower from her bedside table, her eyes wandered over to the calendar hung over the table and she froze when she saw what day it was, Saturday. Today was the day that she would have to tutor James. She was dreading but anticipating it at the same time. She was just wondering if she should tell James about her feelings for him during the tutoring session when she noticed a little note tapped onto the square on the calendar where Saturday was marked. She peeled it off and smiled as she read it.

There were three different kinds of handwriting on the note. The first one was from Marlene as Lily recognized the messy handwriting and it said, We heard you last night. Go get the guy Lily! Just don't snap at him like you usually do! Hahaha!

The second one was undoubtedly from Emmeline as it read; I'd tell him my feelings if I were you Lils! He probably wouldn't mind a snog when you're finished talking though! Really guys like that? She thought.

The very last one was in small handwriting no doubt from Alice and it said, tells him Lils, you won't regret it! Just a tip, try let him come to you. It'll show that he truly wants this relationship to start. Lily felt calmer as she finished reading her friend's tips. She decided to use each and every one of them...maybe even Emmeline's suggestion.

Feeling confident, Lily quickly took her shower, changed into her clothing and hurried down into the Gryffindor common room to head off to breakfast. Just as she reached the common room, she heard someone coming down the boy's side of the stairs. Somehow, she knew who it was even before she turned around to see him. James Potter was standing at the foot of the stairs looking absolutely, in Lily's opinion, scrumptious in his jeans and simple black t-shirt with his hair messier than ever. For some reason that hair made Lily's hands just itch to run through it. It just looked so...so...soft.

Lily blushed as she thought all this and quietly said, “Hi J-James”. James acknowledged that Lily had called him by his first name for the first time in their lives and decided it was okay for him to switch to first-name basis as well.

“Hey Lily.” He said just as softly. There was an awkward pause before James gathered up his courage and asked, “Why aren't you at breakfast?”

Lily, relieved that the weird awkward moment had past, replied, “Oh, I guess I slept in today because all my friends were already in the Great hall. What about you?”

James let out an amused scoff before saying, “I, apparently took way too long in the shower so the rest of the Marauders left without me...gits.” Lily laughed softly and James cherished that moment because he rarely ever made Lily laugh like that....he rarely had a civil conversation with her let alone make her laugh.

When they were both quiet again, James asked, blushing a bit, “So, do you want to go to breakfast together?” Lily smiled ever so slightly and said, “I would love that.” She sounded a little dreamy to James.

“Are you ok Lily? You look like you're off in your own world!” he asked. Lily quickly snapped out of her daydream of her and James walking hand-and-hand to the Great Hall and blushed slightly

“Oh, sorry. Well, shall we go down then?” James smiled slightly and nodded. The two of them climbed out of the portrait hole and headed for the Great Hall.

As they both walked over to their usual places at the Gryffindor table, heads turned in shock to watch them and whispers could be heard from every table in the Great Hall. Those whispers only got louder as Lily and James sat side by side at the Gryffindor table.

Lily smiled slightly as she heard one of her fellow classmates whisper to their friend, “Am I seeing things, or are James Potter and Lily Evans actually sitting together without biting each other's head off?”

The friend in turn whispered back “No, believe it or not, you're not seeing things!”

As Lily started to fill her plate with bacon and eggs, Marlene leaned over to her and whispered “Great start Lily.” Lily just smiled and ate all the while listening to James chatting with the other Marauders. Somehow deep inside, she could tell that this would be a very good day.

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Saturday came and went faster than James had expected and before he knew it, he was sitting in the library at 1:55pm waiting for Lily Evans to come and tutor him for Charms. He was very anxiously awaiting her arrival and he still couldn't believe that she had agreed to do this. Deep down James knew that he was by far not over her yet. Her words back in fifth year hurt him bad even though he did not show it. James distinctly remembered crying in his dorm room, and being comforted by Sirius. Sirius was the only one who knew about James true feelings towards Lily. James loved Lily.

There was no doubt about it. He remembered trying to convince himself that it was just a crush, but he was fighting a losing battle. At one point he completely gave up and admitted to Sirius that he was completely and utterly in love with Lily Evans. Now that he knew that he'll be alone with her for hours made him feel very excited and nervous at the same time.

His thoughts wandered back to the morning when he and Lily had had one of their few first civil conversations with each other. That conversation made a sort of hopeful happy balloon swell inside him which nothing would prick and destroy. He himself was quite surprised when Lily had sat next to him at breakfast but he wasn't about to complain.

James focused on all these thoughts in hope that they will calm him down since he was starting to panic when he thought over his plan to tell Lily that he loved her. He decided to do it today when they finished the tutoring session. He knew that it was quite early to tell her this, but he already seemed to be on good terms with her and time was running out as well. There were only three months left of school! James' thoughts were interrupted when suddenly he heard footsteps outside the library door.

The door creaked open and James looked up to see the petite form of Lily Evans making her way towards him. It took all the strength James had not to sigh dreamily as her hair caught the sunlight from the window and made her look even more beautiful. Lily greeted him and plunked herself next to James on the bench, while taking out many books regarding Charms and placed them on the table. She then turned to James, smiled and said, “So are you ready?”

“Uh huh.” James said nodding all the while never taking his eyes off her.

She noticed this and turned slightly pink while she opened one of the many books. “Ok, then let's get started.”

They worked for hours on end and James liked her company more and more with each passing second. It wasn't until he glanced down at his watch when he realized it was already 5:32pm. He mentioned this to Lily and she suggested calling it a night. Just as Lily was about to cram the last of the books into her bag, James grabbed her arm and turned her around so she was facing him. It was now or never…

James took a deep breath and looked into Lily's slightly startled emerald green eyes and said, “Lily, I've got to tell you something.” Lily noticed that his face was completely devoid of that mischievous expression he had whenever he was joking so she knew he must be serious in whatever he wanted to tell her. James motioned to sit down on the bench, and Lily sat. He sat right beside her and took her delicate hands in his. Thankfully she didn't pull away.

James took another deep breath and said, “Lily, look there's something I've been meaning to tell you, and I haven't done it earlier because I was afraid it would ruin what little friendship we had left forever.” Lily watched him with attentive eyes. She had an inkling of what he was trying to say, and her heart was starting to beat like a drum on her ribs. “But seeing that we're on better terms now,” James continued, “I figured I might as well spit it out….ok here goes nothing….Lily, I think I'm in love with you”.

Lily suddenly remembered Alice's advice, try to let him come to you. It will show that he truly wants this relationship to start. That broke the dam inside her holding back all Lily's love and affection for James. Her eyes filled with tears, and flowed down her cheeks. James panicked. It was never good when a girl cries.

“Are you okay? James asked timidly. However, nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

Unknowingly she threw her hands around his neck. She wanted to stay there forever. Lily felt safer in his arms than anywhere else in the world. Then without saying a word and to James great surprise (and delight) her lips met his. Surprisingly she felt better kissing him than she did hugging him.

The sensation that came with kissing Lily Evans was even better than the sensation of playing Quidditch. James hand slipped comfortably around her waist while hers stayed clasped around his neck. Her lips were warm and tender beneath his and James decided that there was nothing sweeter in the world than her. He reluctantly broke the kiss when the need of oxygen became a necessity.

“Are you sure you're okay?” James asked still in a state of high mental shock.

She smiled and with her eyes filled once again with tears of joy. With her arms still around him she responded, “Yes I'm sure. I love you James Potter!”

James was sure that he had never been happier in his life. Not when he got his Hogwarts letter, not when he won his first Quidditch game, no moment in his life was happier than the one he was having right now.

He looked down at the beauty in his arms and muttered a little huskily, “How `bout we finish this somewhere else? I don't feel like getting caught by students and Madame Pince”

Lily giggled and said, “Sounds like a plan.”

So together, hand in hand, James and Lily walked swiftly out of the library heading for a broom closest to do God only knows what, and Lily decided at that moment that she much rather date James Potter than any other type of living creature such as the Giant Squid…Little did they know that the Marauders and the rest of Lily friends were watching the whole thing from behind the shelves of the bookcases. When they were sure that James and Lily had left the room, they all came out of their hiding spots and beamed at each other, each having their own “mission accomplished” look on their faces.

It was a while before Sirius broke the silence. With an air of complete triumph, he turned to Remus and said, “Moony ol' buddy, you owe me fifty galleons.”

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