Easier to Run

Normal Laura Tidmore 2 2 2003-08-09T15:03:00Z 2003-08-09T15:03:00Z 2 590 3364 Independent Living Center 28 6 4131 9.2720 0 6 pt 6 pt 0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face this pain all alone

Harry Potter looked around at the seventh year boys' dorm, the room he would never see again if he could help it. Decorations included pictures of lions Dean Thomas had drawn, Quidditch banners, and Dean's West Ham soccer poster. Harry checked his knapsack once more, to make sure he had enough clothes to last him for a while as he didn't know where exactly he would go yet, his wand, his invisibility cloak, his Marauder's Map. He held his Firebolt 1500 in his right hand.

In his left hand was a rolled-up parchment, a letter to one of his best friends, Hermione Granger. He'd already left the one to Ron Weasley, his other best friend, on his bedside table so he could find it when he woke the next morning. Harry unrolled the parchment and checked over it once more.

Dear Hermione,

This is really hard to write, especially to you because I know you'll worry, but it must be done. What this letter is about is to tell you that I'm leaving Hogwarts. I know it's our last year and everything but when it's safe again I'll continue my magical education and get my degree, but right now even Hogwarts isn't safe. I'm leaving because I have to protect you and Ron and everyone else I love that are here. You can't come looking for me. I know that if I leave, there is still a chance of Voldemort taking or killing those I love either as a trap or to provoke me to go after him, but I also know that this chance will be very small. It's a greater risk for everyone if I'm here. That's why I'm leaving.

I need to tell you something but I can't now because it will make you worry even more about me, as I know you are already starting to as you're reading this, so it must be kept secret until it's safe again. Besides, if Voldemort finds out, he may kill you or take you especially. Just know this: you and Ron are the best things that ever could've happened to me, especially with everything else that's happened in my past. If you ever get sad, just remember that I'm in your heart and you are forever in mine.

Love,

Harry

Something has been taken

From deep inside of me

A secret that I've kept locked away

No one can ever see

Wounds so deep they never see

They never go away

Like moving pictures in my head

For years and years they've played

He took a deep breath, rolled it up again and stuck it in the pocket of his cloak, where his wand also was, slung his knapsack over his shoulder and walked out of the dormitory, never once taking a look back. He crossed the landing to the girls' dorm and crept silently inside, pulling out the letter and set it on Hermione's bedside table. He pushed back the curtains a bit so he could see her once more before he left. The bluish-white moonlight fell on her face, making her appear much paler than she really was. Her hickory-brown curls were spread beneath her head on her pillow, and her eyelids fluttered. Harry squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over his cheeks. When he was sure they'd gone, he opened his eyes, bent and gave her a very light kiss on the lips, a first and last bittersweet one before he left. And he turned, pushed the curtains back closed, and left the dorm. He checked the common room for anything he might've forgotten but there was nothing.

The memories of his former years at Hogwarts especially came flooding back to him in this room, since it was the very room he'd spent most of his time, but he just tried to ignore them and headed out. And, a few minutes later, he walked out of the front door of the castle, never to come back. And, for the first time, he found out how much easier to run.

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could

Stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I

Would

It's easier to run

Replacing the pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

Normal Laura Tidmore 2 0 2003-08-24T17:37:00Z 2003-08-24T17:37:00Z 2 1599 9117 Independent Living Center 75 18 11196 9.2720 0 6 pt 6 pt 0

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back

And never moving forward so there would never be a past

Just washing it aside, all of the helplessness inside

Pretending I don't feel misplaced is so much simpler than change

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

~

Hermione was running late for the first time in her life. She rushed out of the girls' dormitory so fast she forgot to put on her tie and didn't get her Charms textbook. She also didn't see the rolled-up parchment on her bedside table.

When she finally sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, it was five minutes until classes started. Ron and Ginny looked at her as she poured a goblet of orange juice and downed it in two gulps.

"Er...Hermione?" Ginny said.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" That was from Ron.

"Huh?" Hermione said through a mouthful of toast.

"Tie," said Ron. Hermione looked down and swallowed her toast, sighing.

"Damn," she said, "I'll just have to get it before lunch, or after. Those are the only breaks we've got today. They really are getting us ready for N.E.W.T.s with this year's schedule. Speaking of which - where's Harry?"

"Dunno," said Ginny. "I haven't seen him all morning. Was he in his bed this morning, Ron?"

"I didn't look." Ron shrugged. "Maybe he's not feeling well or something." Hermione started chewing on her lower lip. It wasn't like Harry to skip breakfast - he was skinny enough - but Hermione didn't have time to check on him. Besides, she didn't want her anxiety to be that obvious...otherwise Ron and Ginny might find out...and she didn't want that to happen.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiing! The hall instantly bustled with activity as students gathered books and started getting up and heading to their first class. Ron and Hermione bid Ginny goodbye and headed down to the dungeons for Double Potions.

As the two took their seats in the classroom, Snape cast one look over Hermione and said, "Ten points from Gryffindor for being out of uniform, Miss Granger." She shrunk down in her seat, cheeks burning from embarrassment. She could tell already this was not going to be a good day.

...:::*:::...

"I'll catch up with you and Ginny in a few minutes," Hermione said later that day to Ron, and hurried up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower to get her tie and Charms textbook.

"Phoenix feather," she breathlessly whispered to the Fat Lady. The common room seemed cold and empty, and Hermione's eyes wandered over to the boys' dorms stairs. She tried thinking of Harry lying in bed sleeping. What if he's had a nightmare that bad that he has to stay in? She tried not to think of what could've happened...like maybe he ran away, or maybe he...no, I don't think he would do that. Hermione shook off the thought and rushed up to the seventh year girls' dorm. She realized she'd left her watch on the bedside table, and as she reached for it, her fingers brushed a rolled-up parchment that she knew she hadn't put there.

Her heart started thumping harder against her ribs as she reached for it and unrolled it. It was in Harry's small, messy cursive, and her heart filled with dread instantly at what the letter might say.

Dear Hermione, it began.

Her heart sunk lower and lower as she read, until when she got to the end, and it felt as if it had shattered into a million tiny pieces. She felt sick to her stomach and the letter fluttered to the floor as she clutched her stomach. She was too stunned to cry yet, and her soul suddenly felt as cold and empty as the common room. It felt as if half her soul was gone without Harry. She leaned back against the wall, closed her eyes and slid down, burying her face in her arms crossed on her knees and wept. She didn't know how long she cried and didn't really care. All she cared about was Harry - whether or not he was safe, hungry, healthy, or...dead. Just the very thought of him dying made her feel even more sick.

A horrible thought then occurred to her: what if this was all some sick joke Harry and Ron were playing on her? No, a voice said in her chest, Harry and Ron wouldn't do that. Maybe Malfoy, but not those two.

Just to be sure, Hermione got up and somehow made her way to the boys' dorm, found Harry's bed and pushed back the hangings. The imprint of him was in the sheets, unmade and messy. She laid down on the bed, face half-buried in his pillow, breathing in the scent of him as the tears streamed into the pillow.

"You're really gone, aren't you, Harry?" she asked aloud to the empty room, as if it could give her any answers. "And there's nothing I can do about it."

"But maybe there is." Ron said from the doorway. Hermione sat up, hugging Harry's pillow to her chest.

"Ron. Did you read...?"

"Yes, but only just a few minutes ago - Neville had given it to me, saying I'd left it. I heard you just now. So he's finally run away." She nodded, eyes bloodshot from crying.

"Do you know what he needed to tell me?"

"What?"

"Read this," Hermione said, pointing out where the second paragraph started. Ron nodded without even looking at it.

"Pretty much everyone knows...well, except you."

"What? Tell me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can!"

"It'll only make you worry..."

"Well, let me worry then! I want to know!" Hermione was near screaming at this point. Ron lowered his gaze, as if he were afraid Harry would come bursting through the door when he was about to tell her.

"He's in love with you. He has been for a while now." Her mouth dropped open.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I...I never...are you sure of this?"

"He told me."

"Then why..."

"Well, let's go find him."

"Are you mad?" she gasped.

"No." He grinned. "Come on, it's our duty as his best friends. We can borrow two of the school's broomsticks." Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock. We would be breaking all those school rules, but if it'll get Harry back....

"Let's do it."

***

A dark, dense forest on a warm summer night. The leaves blocked out all moonlight so he used his wand as a source of light. A gentle breeze blew through the wood, ruffling his black hair. He didn't know where he was going or why. All he did know was that his feet were carrying him deeper and deeper into the forest.

He came to a clearing, where he saw a wizard cloaked and hooded, wand outstretched, and a girl with long, curly hair that shimmered in the moonlight, complexion pale. The light caught on glint of silver on the wizard's arm.

"Wormtail!" Harry whispered, loud enough for Peter Pettigrew to hear him. His head turned, his hood fell back, and his eyes glinted with malice.

"Well, young Potter, we've been awaiting your arrival." Harry frowned. We? He looked at the girl, who was bound to a tree and was weeping, chin dropped down on her chest. Wormtail crossed the clearing to her and yanked her head up by her hair and forced her to look over at Harry. He gasped and stumbled back, nearly tripping over a root.

"Please, no," he whispered, wand dropping from his trembling fingers. "No. Not Hermione."

"I'm afraid I have to." Wormtail said, let go of Hermione's hair and stepped back, pointing his wand to her. She kept her tear-filled eyes locked with Harry's.

"Don't be scared, Harry, I'm not afraid to die. You run, now. Save yourself."

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Wormtail yelled, and it was all over. Harry fell to his knees and screamed.

"HERMIONE!"

"HERMIONE!" Harry yelled, eyes flying open. Sweat covered his skin, making his T-shirt and jeans stick to him. He rubbed the sleep and tears from his eyes, readjusted his glasses, and took a drink of water from the canteen he'd brought and filled in the running stream nearby. He'd put on it a Refilling Charm so it automatically filled back up with water when it ran out. It was evening; the sun was just setting, creating red and purple clouds and golden streaks along the western horizon. Harry was in a forest somewhere in northern Scotland, seven miles away from a town called Taureborough.

It was the only night he'd spent away from Hogwarts on his "journey", if it would be called that, but already he was missing his friends terribly. Especially Hermione. He kept picturing her sleeping this morning, with no care about anything or without knowing he was leaving Hogwarts forever. Now she was probably in distress worrying about him. The more Harry thought about her, the more he missed about her - the way her hair smelled, the way she walked, the way she chewed on her lip when she was nervous or worried, even the way she sighed and laughed. He even started missing Crookshanks.

Harry shook himself mentally and walked to the stream, washing off his face to try and wake him up good and get his mind off the dream. Settling back against the trunk of a tree, he took out a Muggle map he'd bought in the last town he was in, and traced his route with his finger. He was no less than seventy miles from his destination, which by broomstick could take a week or more, if he was only traveling by night. By then, Voldemort could've taken over Hogwarts, possibly killed...no, you can't think about that...not now, of all times.

Just as Harry was mounting his broomstick with the knapsack on his back, a voice rang through the silent air.

"Don't move." Harry swallowed, heart thumping wildly against his chest. He didn't know if the man behind him was a Muggle or a wizard, or what he would do. He couldn't very well run - there was nowhere to run (the path just went on straight and all of the trees were too thin to hide a seventeen-year-old) and it didn't matter if the man had a gun or a wand, he could still kill Harry.

"You're coming with me." The man yanked Harry's knapsack, dragging him along, Harry clutching for dear life onto his Firebolt. He dropped the Firebolt for a quick instant, then slipped his arms out of the bag, grabbed the broomstick off the ground and bolted up a steep hill.

"Come back here, Potter!" the man's voice rang out, and suddenly, surrounding Harry on all sides, was a circle of Death Eaters. The leader pushed back his hood. It was Lucius Malfoy.

"Well," said Malfoy, "what a pleasant surprise it is to find Mr. Potter all alone in a forest, miles away from the nearest town. You are truly a fool, Potter. You would've been better just staying at that castle." Harry narrowed his eyes at the Death Eater standing next to Lucius, only a few inches shorter. The wind blew, blowing back the Death Eater's hood only by a bit. It was enough to reveal he was none other than Lucius's son, Draco.

"You fucking bastard!" Harry yelled. "You knew all along I was going to leave, didn't you!" It wasn't a question. Draco's silver eyes flashed, but he didn't speak, and instead pulled the hood back over so Harry couldn't see his face anymore. Harry clenched his fists, keeping his eyes on Draco as the other Death Eaters grabbed him, bound his wrists and ankles, and Disapparated with him out of the forest, leaving behind his broomstick and bag.

***