Why Me?

A/N: Yay!! (jumps for joy) hehe sorry this is my first story that I have EVER written about Harry Potter…so yes(looks embarrassed) it probably does have a good amount of suckage in there. Well anyways sorry about my last post I know it was confusing and a bunch of things were messed up because my computer freaked out on me and I didn’t notice it (My bad)…well anyways im posting it again just for you guys

PS. I don’t own Harry Potter

PSS. JKR does

PSSS. But I’m sure you guys already knew that

PSSSS. Why are you still reading this? Haha

Why me

"Why me?" yelled my boy friend/best friend Harry Potter.

"Harry you’re the hero of the wizarding world, it's no wonder they picked you to host it." I said as I held his hand

Hogwarts was holding the biggest ball to celebrate the downfall of Voldemort and Harry was "randomly" chosen to host the ball. Unfortunately, there was also going to be an open stage night, which meant that headmistress McGonagall would get to choose someone who then had to go and perform something on the stage.

"Harry" I said "You have the easiest part in this...you don't have to sing or dance at all."

"Yes but still they-"

"You’re better off than the rest of us mate." Ron rudely interrupted and then proceeded to walk away.

"What's his problem?" Harry asked.

"I have no idea Harry, maybe he wanted to host the ball." I provided for him.

"No Hermione it's Ron, he wouldn’t want to."

"Harry, Ron is getting jealous of you...remember fourth year."

"Yeah I remember, but that doesn't prove anything!!"

"How can you be so naive about something that’s right in front of you?"

"I'm not naive, you just think you know everything. You’re just a little bookworm with huge teeth and horrible hair WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!"

SILENCE
I tried to tell myself that he didn’t mean any of it but I swear I felt my heart break into ten thousand microscopic pieces. I didn’t understand how he could be so vile, I mean I was used to him being vile to a person like Malfoy, but to me?

He slowly let go of my hand. "I thought you would understand Hermione but I guess you have changed. I-I thought you loved me." Harry quietly said

"I guess I don't, I mean how could I love someone who blows up when I disagree with him. You’re so used to people agreeing with you. Well I’m sorry Harry Potter but I can't be with someone who refuses to listen to me. You have hurt me one time too many. I may have changed Harry but that was for the best, you changed for the worst. You will never see me again Harry Potter." And with that I walked away from Harry potter forever.


Well at least until breakfast the next morning.

The next morning I woke up before the sun was up, and I decided to write a horrible letter to Harry telling him how he was turning into a huge prat but I got a little distracted. I left the common room and went down to the great hall to get something to eat, even though I wasn't very hungry. I walked into the great hall only to notice one thing. Harry Potter was surrounded by girls, a lot of girls, which could only mean one thing, our breakup spread faster than I thought it would.

I walked right past him and sat down next to Ginny.

"Hey Hermione."She said

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh, well I thought-"

"Gin" I looked at her. "I'm fine, I promise."

She smiled warmly at me and put her arm around me. Everything went just like this until the ball started approaching.

I soon realized that I didn’t have a date and I was starting to worry that no one would ask me after all the guy that I was in love with pretty much told me I was extremely hideous.

"Hello Hermione." Neville's voice brought me out of my troubling thoughts.

"Oh hello Neville, how are you?" I weakly replied as I stopped on my pursuit to the library.

"I would be a lot better if I actually had a date to the ball."

"Wouldn't we all."

"Wait, you don't have a date?"

"No I don't."

"I was sure Ron was going to ask you."

"Why would he do that, I'm nothing but a bookworm."

"Ron told me he fancied you a while ago. Hermione you have to stop putting yourself down. You’re not a bookworm you’re a beautiful young woman who just happens to love books."

I laughed. "Thanks Neville, um I know guys are supposed to-"

"Hermione would you like to go to the ball with me?" He interrupted.

I thought for a moment. "Yes, I would love to go to the ball with you Neville."

Neville smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face. He had grown a lot in the last couple of years. For one thing he naturally grew into his ears and teeth, unlike me. He was taller than Ron and it actually looked like he had some muscles under his robes.

'Well I will see you around Hermione; I'll meet you in the common room at five thirty for the ball."

"Okay sounds great, bye Neville."

I started to walk towards the library when Ron Weasley grabbed my arm.

"What?" I irritably asked him.

"Look I know you just broke up with Harry an all but I was wanted to know-"

"I'm already going with Neville, Ronald."

I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm again.

"Wait you mean Neville as in Neville Longbottom?"

"Yes, do we know of any other Neville Longbottom?" I replied slowly as if I was talking to a child.

"That little...I told him I was going to ask you."

"When? Ron the ball is in less than a week and I wasn't going to wait around till the last minute to find a date."

"I know, I just wish I could have asked you soner."

I started to feel really bad so I wrapped my arms around him.

"Ron there are still plenty of girls out there that would love for you to take them to the ball."

"No, everyone already has a date."

"Luna Lovegood is still available I heard."

"Loony?" Ron asked. "Well I guess it's better than nothing I suppose."
I slapped his arm

"Luna is a very nice girl Ronald and you’d be lucky if she said yes to you." With that I left in the direction of the common room. The library could wait until tomorrow.
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"Hello and welcome to the first Hogwarts open stage night. I am your host Harry Potter. Okay well let’s start things off; Headmistress McGonagall who would you like to go first?"

Headmistress McGonagall turned around and looked at Harry “Why you are Mister Potter."

"What? Why me?"

"What better way to start of the night Mister Potter and you are the host."

"Okay um well it looks like I'm starting things off."
He grabbed a stool from the side of the stage and brought it to the front.

"I wonder what he was going to do. Even I didn’t know he would have to perform. It didn’t seem very fair that he had to host the ball and perform. I know one thing for sure there was no way in hell that he was going to sing." I thought to myself

Harry made his way to the center of the stage and sat down on the stool.

"Oh no he was going to try and be funny, Harry was never that funny but for some reason he always thought he was. This isn’t going to turn out well." I laughed to myself

A/N: Well I have to say I feel much better about this chapter then the last. I want to thank my quick and awesome beta Digitallace for helping me with this chapter.

Hope you like it and please review

P.S. I still don’t own Harry Potter

A crowd made up of more than half the population of Hogwarts was gathered at the bottom of the stage waiting for him to start.

“Go HARRY!” Someone from the back of the Great Hall screamed right as Harry began to talk.

This of course resulted in thunderous applause that left Harry unable to speak for several minutes. As I looked around the Great Hall looking for the person that had screamed I noticed that almost everyone in the hall was clapping except the Slytherins of course. I looked back up to the stage and noticed a grimace on Harry’s face just as the chorus of applause ceased. He looked like he was in pain but this pain seemed to be more emotional than physical. I still did not understand why he could never tell me what was making him hurt so badly. Although my thoughts were still confused, I was pulled away from them as Harry began to finally speak.

“You know beating Voldemort wasn’t actually that hard,” Harry started off. “The worse part had to be when I was hanging off the Astronomy Tower and he looked down at me with his red eyes and yelled “Harry I am your father.”

Only the muggle-borns laughed at this seriously over used joke and I couldn’t help but giggle a little.

“Seriously it gave me nightmares for weeks. Could any of you actually think of your mum having sex with Voldemort and not have any nightmares? Yeah that’s what I thought.”

The whole hall erupted with laughter and I actually found myself laughing along.

“Oh, how about this, your dad doing it with Bellatrix,” Harry said as he laughed. “Gave you a wonderful mental picture there, didn’t I?”

“Well while I’m making fun of Voldemort or Mister-I-must-kill-Harry-Potter, I was wondering if anyone else had heard his lisp.” Harry laughed at the complete silence this question presented him with. “Well believe me if he went to a muggle grade school he would have never passed the first grade. I could just see little Tommy sitting by himself on the short bus.”

Harry seemed truly happy up there on the stage for the first time this evening. Apparently he liked torturing us with extremely nasty and unwanted mental pictures.

“I absolutely despised fifth year and no it wasn’t because of Umbitch or the O.W.L.S. I hated it because of the extremely enormous choice that I had to make,” Harry said as if he was giving out advice. “See as a fifth year you have to choose what career you would like to have so you can pursue the right classes to make sure you can get there. Here is how I see it; it all depends on which classes you can actually handle for another two years. Potions are for the people who like dark and creepy dungeons that come supplied with an equally creepy potions professor.” Harry paused waiting for the students to settle down after his joke and it’s after effect.

Professor Snape decided that Harry’s joke was offensive and reacted dramatically -just as Harry had planned- and stormed out of the Great Hall with his black cloak billowing behind him.

“Sorry, Professor Snape” Harry called after him which only resulted in more laughter from the students.

I looked to my left and saw Neville crying from his mirth at Snape’s display. I started laughing along with him and soon my stomach began to hurt. This is just what all of us needed after we had to experience war and the death’s of our closest friends.

“Well anyways I figure defense against the dark arts is for people who love running and cowering in fear.While transfiguration is an entirely different story; it is for people who like staring at a stationary object wanting your object to turn into a bird but instead it turns into a mouse with wings.”

“By far the class I love the most is divination,” he said in a false tone of contentment. “I mean how could you not love Professor Trelawney telling just how, when, and why you are going to die everyday of the class semester?” Harry said with extreme sarcasm in his voice.

“Well that’s all the jokes I have. Have a great evening everyone.” He said as he got off the stage as the thunderous applause started up again.

The rest of the evening went just like this with an occasional song thrown in the middle of the acts. Harry continued introducing the acts and one by one the smile plastered on his face soon began to disappear, but I took no notice as to why. After we had broken up I began to feel, well empty; like a part of me was missing and I soon felt myself falling apart physically and mentally. I was always tired from having sleepless nights and it took an amazing toll on my schoolwork. I was unable to pay attention in History of Magic anymore because I couldn’t help but steal a few glances at the back of Harry’s head. This alerted Ron of my condition, because with the lack of my attention I was unable to give him the notes for the past two weeks.

“Why don’t you just go talk to him if being away from him is hurting you so much?” He had asked me.

“I-I can’t Ron, I just can’t talk to him again.” I told him as I looked straight into his eyes trying to look brave but of course my eyes betrayed my true feelings. Vulnerable. I was completely and utterly vulnerable.

“Why?”

This question remained unanswered because I would not nor could I ever tell him about what I had witnessed two weeks ago.

I remember it was in December when I was studying in the Gryffindor common room. I had an Ancient Runes test the following day. It was never like me to leave studying till the last minute; that was always Harry and Ron, but for the life of me I was unable to concentrate on my book. Fortunately Harry and Ron had Quidditch practice so I was able to let myself be distracted by the window to my far right.

I walked to it and sat down on its sill and looked down at the ground of Hogwarts. The previous night there had been a sever snowstorm and I was now looking down at the results. Everywhere, all around was covered in a beautiful morning snow. It looked as if it could have been a scene from a snow globe. All of the trees were covered in snow; every branch, every leaf had some of the powdery substance in its crevices.

I soon found myself breathless and wanting to go outside as I took in the scene piece by piece. The entire Forbidden Forest looked as though a giant –taller even than Grawp- had sprinkled powdered sugar all over the tops of the trees and the powder had slowly cascaded down the leaves. I slowly started to realize why Harry had almost verbally attacked me a week ago. Attention. It must have had to do with all the attention he had been getting from the war and now the ball, and just like the trees in the Forbidden Forest, the branches were not strong enough to hold all of the snow and neither was Harry. Something else was bothering me very deep in my subconscious. The way Harry had looked at me that day; his eyes were hard and cold almost lifeless; his body was rigid as if I had just stabbed him. I still did not understand why he acted accordingly.

Before I knew it I had jumped up and ran out of the common room. I didn’t know where I was going all I knew was that I had to find Harry. I was planning on confronting him and whether he liked it or not we were going to talk. I still cared about him deeply and I needed to come to terms with the fact that I needed him in my life more than I needed to breathe. Harry was my oxygen, my reason for living. In fact if it hadn’t been for Harry I would have been in my grave by now. I would have died in the girl’s bathroom on my first Halloween at Hogwarts, but he saved me.

My thoughts were interrupted when my brain realized that I was no longer moving. I tried to concentrate on what my eyes were seeing instead of what I was thinking. What I finally noticed, rather than saw, for my brain refused to believe it -Harry had just walked out of a broom closet with Ginny Weasley.

I was brought out of that sudden memory quickly for I had finally realized that Harry was no longer smiling and I found myself tilting my head at him in confusion.

“Um Hermione?” A hard voice broke threw my dazed thoughts

“Huh?” I asked with a voice that was extremely close to resembling that of Luna Lovegood’s. “Wait…what?” I again asked in complete confusion.

Apparently my entire focus had been on Harry for quite sometime now, but I was still utterly confused about many things and my brain was completely overloaded at the moment, which was a first for me.

“I asked if you would like to dance,” The voice told me with a tone that had a slight hint of irritation in it. “With me.” He added as if he needed to clarify his last sentence.

I finally and reluctantly tore my eyes away from those dark, unhappy green orbs and brought my dazed and confused gaze onto Neville. He showed no expression on his face except through his eyes. They were surprised as they widened even more at the sight of my confused face.

“What?” I started to panic as I asked him. “Is there something on my face?”

I started to feel extremely self conscious and even more confused as I brought my gaze to the floor.

“No, you’re perfect Hermione, it’s just that you were staring at Harry for quite sometime and I was just beginning to worry.” He finally but slowly replied.

“How confused can one girl get?” I asked myself

“Why were you worried?” I quietly asked him, fearing that I already knew the answer.

He leaned down to me and whispered in my ear “It just seems that you would rather be here with Harry than with me.”

I quickly looked up at him with sudden anger and determination. “ There is no doubt in my mind that I came to this ball with the person I wanted to, Neville believe me I am extremely glad that you asked me to the ball and I wouldn’t want to share this experience with anyone else but you.”

He seemed happy with my reply so I dragged him out to the dance floor where we danced until midnight. It wasn’t awkward dancing with Neville; I mean this was no Yule Ball. We were both just trying to have fun and would pause and pray to Merlin that we wouldn’t get chosen when Harry went up to introduce the next act. It took every ounce of strength that I possessed not to look into those beautiful green eyes whenever they showed themselves. When Harry announced the end of the ball almost everyone in the great hall gathered on the dance floor for the final songs.

I was expecting to end the night with a quick upbeat songs but intuitively I knew what would happen. The next song of the night was the notably, the always dreaded love song.

My heart automatically accelerated and soon I began hyperventilating just looking at the stances the other dancers on the floor began to take. I looked at Neville who was looking back at me with a strange hopefulness in his eyes as he extended his hand to me.

“May I take your hand?” he asked in which he thought was a romantic voice but it only made him sound as if he was losing his voice.

I nodded and took his hand unknowingly and quickly for I had spotted Harry talking quietly to Ginny in the far off corner to my left. He was the last person I was going to let see me looking confused and vulnerable.

The song started up but I didn’t notice the song or the beat and was just letting Neville drag me around the dance floor like I was like a rag doll in his arms. I only had eyes for the two people who had hurt me so horribly. As we danced closer to them it looked as if Ginny was yelling at Harry but I wouldn’t let my hopes get too high. My view was obstructed from them as Neville spun me around. The next thing I knew Harry Potter was walking right toward me.

I quickly tried to drag Neville away from the fast approaching Harry while dancing, but Neville had another plan of action he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Harry and immediately let go of me.

“What are you doing?” I asked him while looking around the room for anywhere I could take cover from Harry.

I was totally unprepared for this, staring at him was one thing but talking to him was on a totally differently level that I was not ready for.

“Looks like Harry wants to talk to us,” he replied totally unaware of my panicked face.

In my last ditch effort I decided just to walk away from Neville, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t do this. My head was screaming at me to run and keep running until I knew I was safe, but that advice came too late for Harry had finally approached us.

“Hey Neville.” Harry said as he shook Neville’s hand while his other hand was resting in his pant pocket.

“Hey Harry. You did a great job up there. I have never seen Snape so angry before,” he replied while shaking Harry’s hand.

Harry laughed. “I can assure you it was not intentional,” he lied as he winked at me.

“Okay this isn’t so bad,” I thought to myself. “If Harry keeps acting as if I don’t exist then I’m fine with that, I can get through this.”Of course my optimism didn’t last long enough for my hopes to rise.

“Hey Hermione,” Harry said nonchalantly. “How are you?”

My heart was beating so fast I had barely heard his question. I didn’t know how to react to him; I was expecting the cold shoulder from him or at least the cold, and hard eyed Harry. So I just went on instincts since I was still angry with him.

“Hi, I’m fine,” I replied coldly.

“That’s good,” he commented casually.

“Listen Neville, I was wondering if I could have this dance with Hermione.” Harry looked at Neville with a straight stare that almost looked pleading from where I was standing.

“Sure Harry.”

I was so angry with Neville I could’ve hit him. Was I just some object to be handed from one guy to the next? Why did I not have a say in this? Then it dawned on me, I may not have a say but I can still do something.

Harry started walking toward me his arms extended as Neville began to walk away without even a backwards glance at me.

“It’s now or never.” I thought to myself.

Just as Harry was about to put his hands on me I quickly stumbled around him so his hand only grabbed onto air. I took three extremely huge steps and got a hold on one of Neville’s arms. He turned to look at me, surprise evident on his face; he was just about to speak when I covered his mouth with my fingers.

“Actually Harry, we were just about to leave,” I told Harry as I tightened my hold on Neville’s hand. “Right Neville?”

“Oh yeah that’s right, sorry I forgot.” He easily lied for me.

“Oh well-” Harry started to reply but I started dragging Neville out of the Great Hall before he could finish and little did I know I was leaving behind a very disappointed Ginny and a heart broken Harry Potter.

Just as I was about to open the door to leave this sudden hellhole I heard the last song of the night. I caught myself. I recognized it, as it was from a muggle rock band.

I quickly slammed the door of the Great Hall with tears shining in my eyes because I knew it was ironic to how my life was right now. I had caught myself and I had no idea, or clue of what I was supposed to do now.

A/N: Well this is it (drum roll) part 1 of the last chapter!! I apologize for the long wait for this chapter even though it was finished weeks ago. Lets just say that I got a little distracted by an idea I had for a new fic…hehe. Well anywhoo I want to thank digitallace, my awesomely awesome beta. Oh yes and my sister for helping me with this chapter. I hope it answers some of the questions that you guys have.

Hope you guys like it and please review

P.S. I still don’t own Harry Potter, my life sucks

With the song’s echo slowly fading off each of the walls I was soon left with silence -the great, wonderful sound that I needed so much. The state of absolute stillness. I slowly let out a shaky breath and proceeded to lean against the cold, hard doors of the Great Hall. I was afraid: afraid that my legs wouldn’t be able to hold the rest of my body up any longer, afraid that Harry would follow me; and I was afraid that Neville would realize why I was acting so unlike myself these past few hours.

I slowly looked up at my forgotten partner and smiled, hoping that he would take the hint and act as if nothing had happened. “Thanks Nev-” I slowly stopped when I realized that Neville was and had been staring at me for quite some time.

“Neville?” I looked around for anything that could be making him act so ludicrous. “What’s the matter?”

He kept looking at me as if he were trying to figure out the hardest enigma in the entire world. If I didn’t know Neville so well, I would have thought he was well maniacal.

“We need to talk Hermione,” he finally said as his eyes left mine with a determined glare.

“Oh,” I slowly replied as I tried to find a way to excuse my behavior in the Great Hall. “What about?”

“Hermione, don’t try and act like all of the other insignificant, deficient girls in there,” he said while pointing to the Great Hall and slowly moving towards the stairs. “I know you much better than you think I do, Hermione.”

I was stunned, speechless even. I had never seen him act so commanding since he tried to stop Harry, Ron, and me from leaving the common room in first year.

“Neville, I can explain,” I replied as if I was a child that had just been caught stealing from a cookie jar.

“How can you explain it?” he exploded before sitting down on the step that was just recently under his foot.

“Well I-I.” I stopped mumbling since I realized that he had actually made total and complete sense.

I couldn’t explain any of it, I mean how does one tell their date that they have secretly been watching their ex boyfriend all night and had barely paid any attention to them? That answer is simple, they don’t.

“I can’t,” I decided to finish my sentence at last when I reached the stairs and pulled at my dress so I could sit.

I began to feel horrible; I had mistreated Neville all night when I should have been grateful that he had actually wanted to take me to the ball that I had secretly wanted to attend. My eyes were beginning to water as I thought about the past month.

This felt like déjà vu; here I was sitting on the stairs after a ball, crying. I was just waiting for Neville to just stand up and walk away. I had treated him like Harry and Ron had treated their dates at the Yule Ball. I was wiping my eyes when I felt a sudden movement to my left so I turned fearing that he had heard my thoughts. The stairs were empty; he was gone.

I sighed and slowly continued to wipe my eyes as I turned back around only to find Neville kneeling right in front of me.

“And why should you have to explain?” he quietly asked in a caring tone.

“What?” I replied as I tried to catch my breath from being surprised and I would have thought he would have wanted an explanation as to why I acted as I did.

He looked at me curiously while he placed his hand on my knee. “Why should you have to explain something so simple to me?” he said while patting my knee.

“Simple,” I hotly replied. “How could any of this ever be simple?”

“Yes, Hermione, it is simple,” he said as he stood. “You’re still in love with your best friend.” He smartly smiled at me while he slowly ascended the stairs.

He figured it out; Neville figured it out. I sat there alone on the stairs for five long seconds until I called after him.

“How did you figure it out?” I whispered

“Just a guess,” He replied at the top of the stairs. “And besides, it wasn’t that hard to figure out since you were staring at Harry quite an awful lot tonight.”

I quickly ducked my head as my blush began to spread and just replied by shrugging.

“I still don’t get it though,” he said while tapping his fingers on his chin. “Why haven’t you talked to him?”

I looked down at my hands refusing to answer this question, I couldn’t even tell Ron. So why did I feel like I could tell Neville?

I stood up and turned around “I do-” Neville was gone.

“Why can’t you talk to him?” a voice behind me asked.

I turned around and quickly regretted it when I saw whose voice it was.

“Hermione, you can’t keep running away from me.” He stared as he took a step forward.

“Harry, running would have to consist of someone actually chasing me,” I explained to him.

“I have been chasing you Herm-”

“No you have not, Harry Potter!” I quickly interrupted him. “You haven’t uttered a single word to me for the past month and you suddenly miss me and just expect me to run into your arms?” I screamed at him.

“No, Hermione I –I didn’t expect everything to be perfect I just, I don’t know I just didn’t realize…..that you would be this upset with me.”

“Ah!” I yelled as I sat back down disgruntled. “Okay, Harry I’ll tell you why I’m so upset with you if you tell me why…if you tell me why you acted like Ron; like a child, why you yelled at me with such stupid and hurtful words,” I whispered to him my energy suddenly spent.

Harry looked at me with wide doe eyes as if he had just been caught by Voldemort himself. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell me why he had had that sudden burst of hatred for me that day and it was beginning to concern me.

“Hermione, I don’t think I can do that,” he slowly whispered.

I started to rise unable to stop the tears that came to my eyes.

“No, wait Hermione,” He was suddenly at my side holding my arm refusing to let go.

“Harry, I can’t wait anymore, I’ve been waiting for too long.” I wiped my eyes as I tried to wrench my arm free.

Finally, giving up I looked him straight in the face. “If I mean anything to you at all ,Harry, you’ll tell me.”

“Okay fine, but you should probably sit down,” he said as he pulled my arm down with him so I had no choice but to sit with him. He took a deep breath.

“All of my life I’ve been the ‘chosen one’, Hermione, and for half of my childhood I didn’t even know it. I was left in the dark for several years but ever since Dumbledore finally decided that I should know my own fate I’ve put up with it and whatever else I had to without complaining too much. After the war though, I thought that I wouldn’t have to be that person anymore; the leader, the person who has all the responsibility and pressure hanging over their head all the time.”

“For the first time in my life I had no responsibilities, nothing to worry about,” He suddenly looked up at me his eyes begging me to understand. “That was the first time in my life I was actually normal for a while. I didn’t have to be the ’chosen one’ or the boy who lived; I was able to be me.”

“I was actually fooled into thinking that after everything I’ve been through I deserved to have a normal life and things would just calm down. I was able to have hopes for the future and thought I would be able to concentrate on making it as perfect as I could without anyone trying to meddle in it. But then the ball was announced and all those dreams were shattered the instant I realized I could never be normal. That I would be forced to continue life as the boy who lived, forever, and I would never be able to have a life like the Weasley’s have. I could never be normal and because of that my life will always suffer,” he finally admitted almost unwillingly. “Do you know how it feels to never realize you can have a future and when you do you realized you aren’t allowed to have the one you want?

I waited a while to make sure I had understood him correctly before I began talking.

“I don’t understand, why couldn’t you just explain that to me? Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” he regretfully said. “I was just scared; scared of how you would have reacted, scared of losing you and Ron.”

“I was so frightened that you would have dismissed my thoughts as foolish and would have told me that I was just overreacting. I couldn’t handle that, Hermione I care so much about what you say and think if you had said anything remotely close to that I would have gotten even more frightened especially after you had mentioned fourth year. I didn’t want to have to experience that again.”

“So, I just didn’t give you that chance to hurt me and I vented all of my anger on the closest thing to me, which just happened to be you.” He looked down as tears began to shine in his eyes. “I was just so frustrated and distressed that I just hurt you the easiest way I knew how; since Ron has hurt you plenty of times before.”

He looked up at me, his face screwed up as he tried to fight the tears that slowly started cascading down his face. “I just felt like the walls were closing in all around me and I reacted in irrationally because of it. I know it was wrong, Mione, and I am completely regretful for hurting you.”

I turned myself slightly and looked at Harry. I knew deep down he was also afraid to lose himself in all of this madness; he probably had been afraid for a long time and the ball just brought it out of him. I slowly took his hand and tried to get his attention but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Harry,” I said as I squeezed his hand. “It’s never a bad thing when you cry, it shows me that you’re still the same you and you should never be ashamed to be that person.”

His gaze was still captivated by the floor so I decided to distract him. I quickly pulled him into my arms and began to run my fingers through his uncontrollable raven hair as I’d done so many times before. He continued to softly cry and soon buried his face gently into my hair. I didn’t want to disturb him so I rested my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.

I quickly stopped thinking as Harry’s smell captivated me and my thoughts. I had forgotten how addicting and intoxicating it was.

After a few more minutes Harry had apparently gathered his thoughts and emotions enough to talk. He slowly detached his arms from my body and I obstinately lifted my head from his shoulder and smiled sheepishly to myself.

“Okay,” Harry started with a deep breath. “Now it’s your turn.”

Still slightly recovering from being this close to Harry I defiantly stayed silent, not wanting to admit how childish I had acted while I had refused to confront him.

“Why won’t you talk to me Hermione?” He whispered as he looked intently into my eyes almost like he was trying to look into my soul.

“Because Ha-”

We were interrupted as the giant doors of the Great Hall opened up and we were soon swallowed by a crowd of fellow Gryffindors trying to be the first to the Common Room. I soon lost sight of Harry as even more people started ascending the stairs as I stood trying to find him. I walked down the stairs attempting to find him but with no avail. I slowly walked down the empty hallways trying to get where I needed to go almost desperately.

I was hoping Harry would remember where we used to always go when we needed to talk to each other alone or we just wanted to be in each other’s company.