I See London; I See France; I See Hermione's Underpants

Barmy_old_Codger

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 17/04/2009
Last Updated: 17/04/2009
Status: completed

Episode 6 of "That Night & the Next Morning"

Chapters

1. I See London; I See France; I See Hermione's Underpants

1. I See London; I See France; I See Hermione's Underpants

“I See London; I See France;

I See Hermione’s Underpants”

The Fifth part of: “That Night & the Next Morning”

By the Barmy_old_Codger

One Shot … A continuation from:

“Mayhem on the Hogwarts Express”

Pursuant to the Berne Convention Implementation Act of 1988 and the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998, this work is copyrighted 2007 with all rights expressly reserved by its author unless explicitly granted. No portion may be reproduced in any fashion without the express written and notarized permission of the author.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. All characters are creations of Joanne K Rowling, © 2007, to whom I am deeply indebted. I make no money from any of this.

Note Zero: Thanks Edmond O’Donald for Beta-ing this chapter. Look up his stories on fanfiction dot net. You can find his works at <groups.yahoo.com/group/the_scribbler/>

Note One: Previous episodes/chapters/stories:

“That Night & the Next Morning” (Two-Shot: read both chapters)

“It wasn’t His Fault!” (One-Shot)

“No More Quills; No More Books; No More of Snape’s Dirty Looks” (One-Shot)

“Mayhem on the Hogwarts Express” (one-Shot)

Note Two: Read the Author’s Notes in the previous episodes. This is and will be A/U. Thank you.

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“I See London; I See France; I See Hermione’s Underpants”

Saturday July 3rd 1995, about 8 PM

I’m sorry, I skipped over the part where they all meet Hermione’s parents, this starts at the Black family estate on a Channel Island somewhere …

When Harry saw the size of the house … Sirius called it a house.

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At the door to Harry’s room

Hermione pulled his trunk out of her school bag and gave it to him. They separated and he thought he saw her go into her room; he entered his and placed the trunk near the foot of the bed. Sirius had told them they could use magic here, he assured Harry several times, they were far enough away from the English coast and close enough to France that the French magical laws were in force. The French laws were more reasonable; they stated that as long as you were attending school or of the age to attend school and were being home-schooled, you could practice magic with adult supervision. Sirius said they didn’t specify if the adult was magical or Muggle and there were now three adults in the house. Sirius and the Grangers came to an agreement that the ‘adults’ didn’t have to be standing over the teens and watching them to be ‘supervising’, if they had a problem, they should simply call for assistance.

It wasn’t fifteen seconds later when the scream, “HERMIONE JANE!!!!! Grrrrr!!!!! …” was heard throughout the house. Hermione had been standing in his open doorway grinning to herself as he put his trunk down and expanded it. He then moved it against the foot of the bed and opened it. That was when he shouted and slammed the lid at the same time.

The next thing Harry heard was female laughter from directly behind him; it was unmistakably Hermione’s laughter. The adults that were running to the scene slowed to a walk at the sound of her laughter and tried to sneak up on the pair. Hermione walked into his room and stood facing him. Miranda was first to arrive at the doorway and quietly stayed out of sight.

“You said you wanted to put your extra books in my trunk …” stammered Harry.

“Do you remember exactly what I said, Harry?” She asked calmly.

“B … b … books …” he blubbered.

“No Harry, that’s not what I said, I asked ‘if I could put some of my stuff in your trunk’, I didn’t say I was going to put my books in your trunk”, said Hermione calmly.

“B … b … b … but, you said you had too many books …”

“True, I did say that … I was afraid my underwear might get damaged if the books moved around too much. Some of them are rather delicate you see.” She opened the trunk lid.

“YES, I can bloody well see!” Harry was now feeling exasperation on top of shock. The other two adults had quietly arrived and stayed out of sight as per Mrs G’s hand signals.

“You’ll notice I laid them out flat so they wouldn’t get wrinkled,” she stated, “You wouldn’t want me to put on wrinkled underwear would you?”

“N … n … no I G … guess not.” He stammered looking dazed and completely befuddled at her cavalier attitude to having her underwear mixed in with his clothes.

Sirius had silenced the three of them when he almost let out a belly laugh himself. The adults could laugh all they wanted now and no one else could hear them.

“Alright Harry, now calm down, they won’t bite … I might bite … but they won’t … why don’t you pick up that black bra in the far corner?”

“Hermione …” he pleaded as he stepped back two paces. “You pick them up … they’re yours.”

“What are you afraid of Harry, you’re not going to turn into a girl just because you pick up a bra …” Hermione’s wonderfully imaginative mind clicked into gear, “On the other hand, since we can do magic … I could resize the pink bra-and-knickers set and you could model it for me.” She said in the devil’s own voice.

“H … HERMIONE!”

“Yes, you’re right, they would look much better on me, alright, now the black bra please.” She knew she was embarrassing the crap out of him and wondered why an adult hadn’t come to his rescue yet.

Harry stood there with a stunned expression on his face. He reached over the trunk and picked up the black lacy bra she had indicated. He picked it up with one trembling finger and tried to pass it to her.

“Harry, you didn’t have this much trouble with it two nights ago when you removed it from under my T-shirt, why are you handling it like it was cursed?”

“B … b … I …” Harry sighed.

“Now fold it in half”

“Yes, like that … now push one cup into the other to make a hollow.”

“Right, you got it, now fold the straps into the hollow and hand it to me.”

“Good boy!” She praised him and took the black lacy bra from his hand and conjured a small table to put it on.

“Now, pick up the pink bra.” Harry looked at the pink bra for a full minute before he picked it up. He had a little more confidence this time, but …

Hermione talked him through the same procedure again … and again … and again, until Harry could do it without prompting. He was trainable, but could he be housebroken?

Sirius had placed a cushioning charm on the floor and notice-me-not charms on himself and the Grangers since they were all rolling around on the floor laughing their guts out. Dan had initially freaked out when he realized what his brilliant and supposedly innocent daughter had said about that boy removing her bra, however laughter quickly took over again. He would freak out at her later.

“Now for the knickers”, Hermione thought. They were mostly white with a couple of pinks, a light blue and a black pair; some were silk, but the rest were cotton. Her favorites – the G-string bikini ones – were mostly cotton. However, the ones that she wanted to wear for him – when there was a good chance that he’d not only see them, but touch them – those were all silk. “Where to start…where to start”…her devious mind was churning.

“Alright Harry we’re done with the bras, now on to the knickers, please pick up the black pair.”

Harry looked at her, “Hermioneeeeeeeee …” he said pleadingly.

“Harry, you had your hands on my knickers-covered bum for the last five nights and they didn’t bite you, did they?”

“N … n … no, but …”

“Is it the black one that you don’t like? Then pick up a pink one instead.”

Harry picked up the black pair with two fingers … as if it was rabid.

“You’re going to have to use more than two fingers if you’re going to fold them twice before handing them to me.”

Harry reached out with another two fingers, rotated them on command until the gusset went down the middle and folded them once. Holding them by the elastic waist, he was trying to decide where to make the second fold. His other hand poised at the gusset that would go between her legs, not quite sure where to hold on to fold it up to the waistband for the second fold.

Sirius knew now that Hermione had the makings of a true and proper Marauder. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t see straight if his life depended on it, but the mental image he had constructed in his mind had to be saved for posterity. The Weasley twins would make millions from video rentals if they had a camera in the room right now. Actually he was really considering James and Lilly’s reaction to this. James would be embarrassed for his son, but still laughing his head off, and Lills would be rolling around on the floor with him.

“Yes, Harry,” she said, sounding as though she were getting quite tired of the proceedings, or lack thereof. “Hold them there and fold it up to the waistband … good, now hand them to me.”

“Thank you, next …”

The next two went a little quicker and then Harry was on his way. Yes, he was trainable, he went through the next fifteen without any prompting and handed them all to her as he completed them. Hermione made two piles of knickers, the ones that fit her and the ones that were too small. Before she picked up the piles, she banished two of the bras and one stack of knickers.

“Why did you banish half your underwear?”

“They were too small.”

“Why did I fold them and hand them to you?”

“Practice.” Hermione could barely keep from laughing out loud herself.

Harry shook his head hard, as if to remove the cobwebs, and then sat on his now closed trunk. Hermione picked up the two remaining stacks of bras and knickers and made it to the door before seeing her Father roll on the floor in front of her, he appeared to be silently laughing while holding his stomach; he looked up at her with tears in his eyes and pointed at her. She then saw her Mother and Sirius in the same predicament. Hermione sighed, wondering how much trouble she might be in since her father obviously heard everything. Her Mother, she could explain this to … and her Mother would at least think it somewhat humorous, her Father might be more difficult … once he stopped laughing at Harry.

Hermione turned around; as she walked toward the table to put her ‘stuff’ down she kicked the door shut. After emptying her hands she walked over to Harry and sat on his lap. Taking her wand in her right hand, she locked the door with one of her obscure spells (that was reversible) and then silenced the room before putting her wand down. Her arms made their way loosely around his neck and she looked him in the eyes. “Harry … I’m sorry … I didn’t think you would get this flustered, I never expected it would be this big a deal … I love you Harry, I’m not trying to hurt you … I’m really n … not trying to hurt you.”

Hermione leaned her head on his shoulder and Harry wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. They remained like that for some time. On the other side of the door, Sirius and Jake regained their senses first and Sirius removed the spells he had placed on them all. Miranda came around a minute or so later though she would still break out in intermittent giggles from time to time. After unsuccessfully trying to get through the door that Hermione charmed, Sirius led them through Hermione’s room and to the adjoining door.

Jake stopped them before Sirius could open it. “You knew there was a door between their rooms?” he asked Sirius in a gruff voice.

Sirius cast another silencing spell so the teens would not hear them. “Yes, they both requested it, so I picked this pair of rooms for them. Dumbledore told me that they had become a couple … what … oh, about ten days ago I think, and … for the last seven or eight nights they have been sleeping in their House Common Room. They couldn’t get up to much more than touching and kissing and holding each other.”

“She said that Harry took her bra off …” Started Jake before Miranda elbowed him.

“Yes, I heard that too,” responded Sirius, “She also said ‘from under her T-shirt’ which probably means that he hasn’t even seen what’s hiding under there … held them, probably … felt them, yes … but from the sound of it, he hasn’t even seen her breasts.”

Miranda stopped Jake from saying any more; she pulled him over to Hermione’s bed and started talking to him. Miranda had talked to her daughter in depth about Harry’s home life with his Aunt, Uncle and nephew. Miranda had taken Psychology in University as well as Dentistry, and understood how such a child could have a stunted emotional growth. Hermione had confided in her Mother after Christmas that she still hoped Harry would become her boyfriend and Miranda had made numerous suggestions of how to help Harry with his anticipated emotional problems. Hermione, it seemed, was trying to adapt her Mother’s ideas to the school environment and now here. Miranda called Sirius over and tried to explain to both men what she had suggested Hermione try to do and why. In the end both Sirius and Jake agreed not to say anything to Harry since that would likely cause a severe setback in Hermione’s attempt to bring out the Harry she was sure was hiding inside. Miranda would advise her daughter and keep both men up to date on the progress.

“I still should have ‘The Talk’ with Harry, I intended to do that some weeks ago and I didn’t think it wasn’t the right time”, stated Sirius.

We’ll discuss who does it when we’re all together”, replied Miranda.

The adults had been talking for some hours in Hermione’s room when she and Harry showed up at the door, hand in hand. Miranda motioned with her hand for them to come closer then she got up and met her daughter half way. Mother and daughter hugged and as Harry continued walking towards Mr. Granger and Sirius he heard some whispered words between the women. He was fairly certain he was going to have to justify their actions since that night in the Hospital Wing. He resolved to take all the blame for both of them … it was what he had to do.

“Jake!” Miranda’s stern voice called out, “They’re just kids … they don’t have any intentions, good or bad. They’re just being kids.”

“They are more than just kids if they’ve been sleeping together for the last week or …” Jake got out before he was interrupted.

“Daddy! YOU leave HIM alone!” Hermione stated quite adamantly! “NOTHING happened that you or Mother need be concerned about … I’m still your innocent daughter!”

“But you were sleeping …”

“DADDY! … Give the ‘protective father’ persona a rest!” Hermione was now standing between her Father and Harry, glowering down at him.

Harry thought if he said something it might help, he remembered a phrase he had heard and with a few changes it might work, “Sir, on my life and my magic I promise that I will protect Hermione …”

“STOP Harry!” Yelled Sirius as he got close enough to put his hand over Harry’s mouth to keep him from uttering the final words he feared might follow. “If you finished that speech the way it ought to be finished you would create a Magically Binding Contract. Should you knowingly fail to keep that contract at any time, for any reason, you could loose your magic and your life.”

“I meant every word of it Sirius.”

“I believe you Pup, just remember the last magically binding contract you got stuck with … you didn’t enter that terrible tournament, but your name came out of the cup anyway and you were stuck!”

“Yes sir,” he said in a defeated voice as he started to walk out of the room.

Hermione, still in awe of Harry’s interrupted speech, stepped away from her father and directly in front of him, wrapped her arms around Harry’s neck, and snogged him speechless. Hermione then dragged a dazed Harry through the adjoining door, locked it, closed and locked the other door to his room, threw him on the bed, jumped on him and continued snogging him.

The adults remained motionless and stunned at what just happened.

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Independence Day … Morning

After their breakfast, the adults remained sitting around the kitchen table. Jake and Sirius were discussing who was going to give Harry ‘The Talk’ while Miranda was looking at them both in disgust. Miranda heard a noise from outside the room and placed a hand on both men’s arms.

Hermione interrupted the supposed adults when she walked into the room. She pulled Harry around from behind her, “Harry! Look at me please. I think that my parents will agree that I know the theory of this almost as well as any of the them, My parents have gone over sex with me in more detail every year since I started having my cycles. I’ve read the medical texts and the ‘how to’ books.” She blushed and carried on. “Other than the practical experience, which I lack,” she looked up at the men, “I think I can talk Harry through this subject as well as any of you here … perhaps better. My point is … since you are determined that Harry should have … ‘The Talk’ … I think that Harry should be able to choose who gives it to him.” She looked straight into Harry’s eyes, “It’s your decision now, Love, make it?”

Harry’s mouth flopped open and shut several times. He didn’t want this: he didn’t want any part of this. He looked at his Girlfriend and tried to think, He had a wonderful night and it was brilliant to wake up with her again, he shuddered at the memory, what to say … he was sure that Sirius knew … he really didn’t want to be confronted by Mr. Granger and he didn’t think he could deal with Mrs. Granger even though she seemed sympathetic to him. Better be Hermione, her he could listen to, and probably ask questions of without being thought of as stupid. After all, Hermione already knew he was stupid … well at least about girls. He was learning though, he knew how to do several things that pleased her now, and she could be very responsive.

“Hermione!” Harry said, “Now will the three of you clear out so we can have breakfast in peace.” Harry started searching through the ice box and cupboards to see what he could make his Girlfriend for breakfast. The adults left, a ‘Harrumph’ was heard, Harry thought it might have come from her father.

Miranda stuck her head in the kitchen, a little surprised at seeing Harry pulling food and pans out of the cupboards and cooler, she said to Hermione, “I’ll leave those books you asked for in your room.”

“Thanks Mum.” Hermione had planned on having a frank discussion with him anyway, but she didn’t expect to have to give him the whole spiel. What had she gotten herself into?

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Harry made a wonderful breakfast of eggs, bacon, hotcakes, hash and coffee; he didn’t find any sausages to fry and no pumpkin juice either. They talked in hushed tones through their meal before they went outside to walk around the estate. Harry pointed to the larger area of land off on the horizon and Hermione told him it was France, she pointed out a seemingly insignificant patch of land in the opposite direction and said England. The rest he assumed were other islands.

They walked around for another two hours talking very sporadically about the grounds, the house and the weather. He knew she was distracted by something, she was worrying her lower lip something terrible. Shortly before they were due in for lunch he confronted her.

She turned and they wrapped their arms around each other, Hermione planted her face in his chest and began crying softly. Harry and crying girls did not get along … at all! He would have preferred to turn and run, but he couldn’t … not now … she was his Girlfriend … and his Best Friend. Merlin, he had better get this right, he couldn’t loose her … not now.

When he leaned back and tilted her head up she could see that he had the most concerned expression on his face she had ever seen. Harry made an attempt at wiping away her tears, it didn’t work very well so he tried again more successfully. “I’ve gone and stuck my neck in it this time haven’t I?” Sobbed Hermione.

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Thanks for Reading

Barmy

The next episode titled “The Talk by Hermione Jane Granger” will by necessity be rated ‘R’ or ‘M’ for the descriptions of body parts and their reactions to touching and being touched.. The original plan was to try to make the entire series PG13 or Teen rated. My apologies to those current readers who should not read the next part.