Through His Eyes

James Potter was exhausted. Next to him, Sirius had laid his head on his desk, eyes closed. Peter was already snoring. James looked to the front of the room where Professor Lowbard was lecturing about Dementors, not really paying attention to what his students were up to. Lily was taking notes as usual and Marlene, who was sitting next to her, was staring dreamily into space- most likely thinking about Jonathan Davies, her Ravenclaw boyfriend who had left Hogwarts the year before and was now studying to be a Healer at St. Mungos.

James rested his chin on his desk, still facing the front of the room in case the Professor turned around. Given that it was Tuesday, he and his friends had been able to sleep in that morning since they hadn't had class the first two periods. But staying up with Remus on full moon nights required a lot more energy than a few hours of stolen sleep could get them. It was no wonder Remus always looked sickly. At least James, Sirius and Peter were able to control when they transformed. Remus didn't have that luxury.

James sighed. He hated sitting here in class while there was a war going on outside of school. He would rather have not gone back to school but his parents would have had a fit. And then he was made Head Boy. Head Boy- him. It had been a shock to say the least, but his parents hadn't been too surprised. He had wondered about that, but he knew his parents wouldn't have done anything to influence his becoming Head Boy. As soon as he received the badge he knew he would be returning to Hogwarts. And he suspected Dumbledore knew it too. Dumbledore had always been close to his parents. They all worked closely together in regards to Muggle relations in the wizarding world.

He jumped with surprise when a small ball of parchment bounced off his head and fell onto his desk. He stared at it cross-eyed for a moment before sitting up and opening it to reveal Sirius' handwriting.

Third floor vanishing charms at eight tonight?

James shook his head a Sirius and scribbled that he had a Prefects' meeting on the parchment before tossing it back. Sirius rolled his eyes as he read it and wrote back.

Skip it. You'll fall asleep halfway through it anyway.

The bell rang at that moment and Professor Lowbard dismissed them.

“Sirius, you know I can't skip the meeting,” James said as they packed up their bags. “Do you know how pissed Evans would be? Besides, I can get a quick nap in before Charms. Either that or stop by and get a Pepper Up potion from Madam Pomfrey.”

“If you say so.” Sirius shrugged.

As it turned out, he didn't get a chance to take a nap or stop by the Hospital Wing. He stared at his friends enviously as he slung his bag over his shoulder and left for the Prefects' meeting. They had been able to collapse onto their beds directly after dinner. With luck, Lily would cover most of the issues and he would be able to get by with nodding throughout most of the meeting.

Most of the Prefects were waiting outside of the Heads' Common Room when James arrived and he whispered the password to let them in. As they filed passed, he held Ruby Dobbs back and asked her to let the others in when they showed up. He made sure to tell her not to expect Remus - using the cover story that he had had to leave to visit a sick aunt. Since Ruby was one of Hogwarts' biggest gossips, James knew the story would be going around the school by tomorrow. And Remus' secret would be that much safer.

Lily was sitting at the head of the table watching as the Prefects took their seats. She looked like a Queen observing her subjects and James had to fight back a laugh as he sat down next to her and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Alright, Potter?” she asked.

“Fine,” James told her with an evasive shrug. “Just had a late night is all.”

She gave him a look that he couldn't read and then shook her head. “Well it looks like everyone's here. Shall we get started?”

James gestured at her to go ahead, and Lily stood. “Let's get this done with as quickly as possible. I know I don't want to spend the entire evening here with you lot, and I doubt you want to spend it with me.”

“I wouldn't bet on that,” Harvey Hill, a fifth year Ravenclaw, called out suggestively. “I'd love to spend the evening with you, fireflower.”

“That can be arranged,” James broke in. “You can spend the rest of the evening with both of us. In detention. Unless, of course, you agree not to say another word the rest of the evening.”

Hill shrank back in his seat and crossed his arms. From the look on his face James knew the little snot would be causing trouble at these meetings for the rest of the year.

“Alright, before we cover the basics, does anyone have any problems that need taken care of?”

James ignored most of what the Prefects complained about, only speaking up when one of them began to get shirty with Lily. Finally after two hours and countless arguments later, the meeting was finally coming to an end. Until Ruby asked about when they would have the first Hogsmeade weekend.

All at once the Prefects began tossing out when they thought it should be. Their voices were getting louder and James could feel another shouting match coming about. Lily slammed her fist on the table. “Enough!” She looked over at him pleadingly. “Potter?”

James stood up. “Since none of you can seem to agree, Evans and I will choose the dates for all the Hogsmeade weekends. We'll post the date for the first one by the end of the week. Meeting adjourned.”

He heard Lily breathe a quiet sigh of relief next to him and he tried shooing the Prefects out of the room. But it was not to be. Doreen Simmons, Abigail Wreath and a few others left with a quiet wave to Lily but the rest began asking Lily the most ridiculous questions as she gathered up her notes. And Billy Cauldwell insisted on discussing Transfiguration theory with James for fifteen minutes before he would leave.

When James finally managed to get rid of Cauldwell, he felt like he was going to collapse. Lily had moved to the floor and had her notes spread around her and was writing comments down on some of them. The firelight glinted off of her hair and James couldn't help but stare at her for a few minutes.

It was times like this that he was glad that all the animosity between them was gone. Sure they still argued, but they didn't make the cutting marks at each other like they used to. He didn't pick on her just to get a reaction and she didn't take his teasing to heart.

Lily looked up and James moved to collapse into an armchair by the fireplace. “I really hate these things.”

Lily pushed her hair out of her eyes and leaned back on her arms, looking up at him. Her eyes glowed in the firelight and James had to bite his tongue to keep from blurting out how beautiful she was. In the few moments it seemed as though she was entirely out of his reach. That he would never be able to claim her as his own. To walk down the street holding her hand, whispering jokes in her ear, kissing her lips.

In that instance he realized that he had to let her make the first moves. He could ask her out and flirt with her, but she had to do the rest. Because he had to know that she was sure, that she wanted him and that she wasn't just going along with him because it was the easy thing to do.

“I know what you mean,” she said. “The Prefects who leave right away are alright- they know what a nuisance these meetings are. But the ones who stay after and gab and ask questions we just answered minutes before… ugh!”

“That about sums it up.” He leaned back in the armchair and closed his eyes. He vaguely thought she asked him something about Hogsmeade but he was too tired to answer. He felt himself drifting off to sleep and even when Lily shook his shoulder he didn't bother to respond.

He woke up briefly when gentle fingers moved through his hair and he opened his eyes just enough to be able to tell that it was Lily. He murmured her name quietly and snuggled his head into her hand.

It was after three in the morning when he woke up next, according to his watch. He looked around, disoriented. It took him a moment to realize that he was still in the Heads' Common Room and that he must have fallen asleep after the meeting.

The only light was from the low burning fire and he sat up, surprised to see that he had been moved to the sofa and was covered with a blanket. He wiggled his toes and realized that someone must have taken his shoes off too.

Lily.

It had to have been her. She was the only one who had been here and none of his friends would have taken off his shoes. Or moved him to the sofa for that matter.

He smiled softly to himself as he went back to sleep. Maybe she wasn't so far out of his reach as he had thought.

A/N: Not very long, but I hope you enjoyed seeing into James' thoughts! I've planned a few other outtakes like this, but if you have a specific scene or chapter you would like to see, let me know!

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