A New Opening Night

apaidan

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 30/05/2009
Last Updated: 03/07/2010
Status: in_progress

London is known for its drama. The Mousetrap is the West End's longest running play; Les Miserables, the longest running musical. For soap opera? It's the Harry & Hermione Show, playing at 12 Grimmauld Place. For almost eight years, they've been raising their godchild, making a home, everything a loving couple should do, except for one little thing. Be a couple. Finally Ginny's enlisted the help of a secret weapon to see if we can ring down the curtain on Granger & Potter and have a new opening act, Potter & Potter.

Chapters

1. Chapter One - Doing the Math

2. Chapter One A - Doing the Math (again)

3. Chapter Two - Shakespeare in the Park

4. Chapter Three – A New Show at the (Snow) Globe

5. Chapter Four - Dinner Theatre

6. Chapter Five – A Night at the (Soap) Opera

7. Chapter Six - Children's Theatre

8. Chapter Seven - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Hea

9. Chapter Eight - (Almost) Murder on the Hogwarts Express

10. Chapter Nine - All I Needed to Learn about Witches, I learne

11. Chapter Ten - ...The Bells Are Going to Chime

12. Chapter Eleven - Exit, Stage Right

13. Chapter Twelve - Seating Charts and First Aid

14. Chapter Thirteen – Making the Catch (Times Two)

15. Chapter Fourteen - Toast - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anym

1. Chapter One - Doing the Math

Chapter One - Doing the Math

A/N - Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe is owned by JKR and various corporate entities. I also don't own `Guys and Dolls' or `The Princess Bride'. I hope everyone enjoys this glimpse at Harry & Hermione, almost eight years afterwards.

23 April, 2006 - Grimmauld Place, London

A fire crackled merrily in sitting room of 12 Grimmauld Place. Sitting at opposite ends of the chesterfield, Hermione was seemingly engrossed in the latest revision of “Hogwarts: A History” while Harry was shaking his head over his copy of The Sunday Prophet. Though the drapes were thrown open, the gloomy conditions outside were overcome by the light and airy décor of the room, though the continual light rain outside intruded as a gentle counterpoint to the noises of the old house.

Without looking up, Hermione smiled softly as she bit her lower lip. It was time. Getting herself comfortable, she shifted her legs until both were lying alongside Harry's. Smiling as Harry unconsciously shifted so his feet were beneath hers, she sighed as his one foot began to gently rub against the arch of her left foot.

“Harry?”

The rustling of the paper answered her as his foot continued to lazily massage against hers. Shaking her head, she lowered the book slightly, just in time to see his emerald eyes disappear behind the pages of the paper.

“Harry?”

“Mmmm?” Not bothering to actually answer, Harry lowered the paper and looked at her.

Resisting the urge to smile at the totally unguarded look he gave her, Hermione nodded at him. “I had lunch with Ginny on Friday.”

A brief flicker of emotion played across his face as he focused on her. “She's back in Britain?”

Nodding, Hermione carefully placed the book aside and smiled. “She just got back from that tour of Canada. She's staying at the Burrow for a week or so before she has to report back to Holyhead.”

Smiling, Harry creased the paper and put it aside. Sitting up a bit, he left his foot gently rubbing against hers as he nodded, thoughtfully. “I'm surprised Arthur and Molly haven't planned some sort of celebration. We'll have to pop by there one evening and catch up with everyone.”

“Actually, we're having dinner with her and Dennis on Tuesday. We're meeting them at Greengrass' at seven.” Smiling smugly, Hermione watched Harry's thoughts play out across his face. “You don't mind, do you?”

“Not at all and this saves me from having to ask how they're doing.” Smiling, Harry nodded to her. “Things must be going well with them, I suppose.”

Smiling mischievously, Hermione nodded. “Gin hinted about some sort of announcement coming up.” Watching Harry, she nodded, as his eyes got just a bit wider.

“That's brilliant.” Grinning at her, he chuckled. “Should I act surprised when they tell us or are you allowed to let me know?”

“Ginny gave up on us having any secrets from each other years ago. If she hinted to me, she knows you'll know eventually.” Smiling at him, she watched his eyes for any sign of discomfort. “Are you all right about it?”

Looking puzzled, Harry turned his head a bit to the side and shrugged. “Where's that coming from? You know I'd really like her to be happy, and I think Dennis might just be the ticket to that.”

“Gin's worried that you haven't moved on. It's been almost six years since you two parted ways, and she's a bit concerned.”

Shaking his head, Harry rolled his eyes. “Did you let her know that I'm just fine and `moved on'?”

“Erm, well, I really couldn't argue with her logic.” Smiling faintly, Hermione watched Harry's eyes widen in disbelief while she bit her lower lip and waited. Just before he was going to speak, she continued “She was spot on in pointing out you've only been on a handful of dates in almost six years, and only one second date at that.”

Sitting up straighter, Harry stared at Hermione. “I know we're not the most social pair in Britain, but I've certainly been out more than a handful of times over the past six years. And I'm certain I've been on more than one second date.”

Shaking her head, her eyes twinkling, Hermione sighed. “Harry, you've been out on forty three dates since you and Ginny broke up, with thirty seven different witches and four muggles.”

“Well, that would indicate I've had at least two second dates, and I think your numbers are a bit low.” Starting to look annoyed, Harry shook his head and closed his eyes as he tried to recall his dating history since Ginny had decided to end their engagement.

“Jillian doesn't count. You didn't even remember you'd gone out with the poor girl when you asked her out three years after your first and only date.” Smiling, Hermione remembered the crestfallen look on Harry's face when he ended up back at the house less than an hour after picking her up. “She walked out of the restaurant when she twigged to the fact that you had no clue you'd taken her there the last time the two of you had been out together.”

Blushing, Harry nodded slowly. “That was a right disaster. I never knew she knew words like that.” Shaking his head, Harry looked at Hermione carefully. “I still think I've been out more than that in the past six years.”

Before Hermione could respond, they heard a door slam and the sound of a herd of hippogriffs thundering down the main stairs. “Mum? Dad?”

“In here Teddy, and stop running down the stairs, you know it makes your mother nervous.” Smiling, Harry looked over his shoulder as their godson, Teddy, came careening into the sitting room.

Skidding to a halt behind the chesterfield, Teddy launched himself into the air and tumbled over the back, landing on both their feet as he was grinning from ear to ear. “I just finished talking to Vic, and she wants to know if we're coming to her birthday party next week.”

Reaching up and ruffling his godson's hair, Harry nodded. “Of course we're going to Shell Cottage. What time is the party?” Smiling, Harry looked down the couch to where Hermione was shaking her head. “What?”

“Fleur was by yesterday, remember? The party's been moved to the Burrow because Molly's been inviting people left and right.” Shaking her head, Hermione smiled, as Harry looked thoughtful.

“I knew that.” Turning to Teddy, Harry nodded. “We'll head to the Burrow sometime after we leave Hogwarts.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Teddy's hair turned a muted shade of orange, which usually indicated he was puzzled by something. Turning to Hermione, Teddy smiled. “Mum, Vic said that Gramma Molly was working on fixing Dad up with Crystal's mum.”

Ignoring the strangled noises Harry was making, Hermione nodded thoughtfully. “Well, Victoire probably shouldn't have mentioned that, but you know how Gramma Molly is, she's always worrying about your father.” Smiling thinly, Hermione looked around Teddy and noticed the horrified look in Harry's eyes. “Won't it be good to see Lavender again, Harry?”

“Certainly, it's been much too long since the last time she was around.” Looking as if he was contemplating fighting a Hungarian Horntail barehanded, Harry nodded slowly. “I can still remember that Christmas party as if it were yesterday.”

Shaking his head, Teddy turned to face Harry. “Why is Gramma Molly fixing you up with Crystal's mum? What's wrong with Mum?”

Gobsmacked, Harry stared at his godson for almost a minute. In the background, he could see Hermione looking very attentive as they both waited for his answer. Shaking his head, Harry took a deep breath.

“Teddy, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your Mum. She's the prettiest, smartest, and most loving witch in the entire world. I think Gramma Molly feels a bit sorry for Crystal's mum since Crystal's dad isn't around. Uncle Ron used to date her for a while in school, and since he's married to Aunt Luna, I suppose she thought I could spend some time with her.”

Unconsciously striking a pose similar to Hermione's when she was thinking, Teddy bit his lower lip and looked puzzled. “Wouldn't it be better to try to fix her up with Uncle Charlie since he's not married?”

“One would think, but since your father isn't married, I suppose Gramma Molly thinks that since Charlie will be heading back to Romania the day after the party, Lavender might need more time to work.” Shaking her head, Hermione tried to keep a smile on her face. Harry heard her mutter, “Not that it takes her very long” to herself.

“That doesn't make any sense.” Looking over at Hermione, Teddy shrugged. “Aunt Ginny said that Dad was the only married man she ever dated.”

Sputtering in disbelief, Harry stared at his godson and Hermione as his best mate chuckled. Shaking her head, Hermione put her hand on Teddy's arm. “Cub, Aunt Ginny was making a little joke. That's why Aunt Angelina and Aunt Audrey were laughing so hard.” Trying to look stern, Hermione glared at her godson. “And just where were you hiding and eavesdropping that you heard Aunt Ginny make her not so funny joke?”

Grinning, Teddy blushed a bit and his hair changed to a peculiar ginger shade that told the tale before he confessed. “Mum, I was sitting on your lap. I was pretending to be Crooks. Vic and I were playing hide and seek, and it's always funny to sit there and watch her run around trying to find me. She even asked me if I'd seen me.” Giggling, the young wizard looked over at his godfather and nodded. “Dad calls it `hiding in plain sight'. It's an auror trick.”

Smiling mysteriously, Hermione nodded. “I'm certain your father is an expert with that trick. Too bad he doesn't seem to be quite as adept at noticing it when the wand is in the other hand, but that's neither here nor there.” Shrugging at the puzzled look both wizards were giving her, she made a shooing motion towards Teddy. “Why don't you run upstairs and use the library floo to let Victoire know that we'll be at her party?”

Nodding thoughtfully, Teddy stared at Hermione for a second before shaking his head. “Adults are weird.” Jumping down from the chesterfield, Teddy looked over at Harry. “Can we go to the Burrow early? The party's not until four.”

Nodding, Harry smiled. “I don't see why not, cub. We can get there before lunch, and you can play with the mob while your Mum and I help Gramma Molly setup for the party.”

“Great.” Nodding enthusiastically, Teddy bolted for the door. Stopping just inside, he turned around with a mischievous grin. “I'll have Vic make certain Crystal knows to be there early, I'm certain her mum would like to help with getting things ready. I'll tell Uncle Charlie that she needs someone to look after her for the afternoon.”

Shaking his head, Harry glared over at Hermione, who was settling back into her corner of the chesterfield. Smiling sweetly at him, Hermione waited until Harry settled back into his corner before placing her stocking clad feet back on his. Still glaring, Harry stared at her, ignoring the gentle nudges from her foot until she finally sighed in exasperation. “What?”

“Are you going to tell me what Ginny meant by that? And what everyone found so ridiculously funny about it?” Shaking his head, he shifted a bit to get comfortable and unconsciously started rubbing his foot against the arch of Hermione's.

Biting her lip to keep from laughing, Hermione nodded as her eyes twinkled. “Harry, it was last winter. Remember when Parvati hexed her date in the middle of Leicester Square?”

Harry nodded as he grinned at the memory. “I was in the middle of a stakeout in the Midlands when Parv's patronus shows up, in a panic.” Chuckling, he looked at Hermione as she tried to keep from giggling. “Honestly, how does an Unspeakable not know that the wizard she's been seeing for six months was married?”

Rolling her eyes, Hermione finally succumbed and started giggling. “I don't know which was funnier, you apparating there in a dead panic thinking she'd been attacked or the look on your face when you saw what she'd turned him into.”

“Well, her patronus message made it sound as if it were life and death. At least she had the good sense to move him to the apparition point next to the square before she called me for help.” Shaking his head, he grinned at her. “I suppose it didn't help when I started laughing and going on about R.O.U.S.'s.*”

“True, Parv is a big fan of American cinema; so she immediately got what you were referring to. She had to expect something like that when she turned him into a capybara.” Smiling, Hermione leaned back and closed her eyes as Harry's impromptu foot massage began to work its wonders.

“That still doesn't explain what Ginny was going on about, or the fact that everyone seemed to think it was extremely funny.”

“Well…” Hermione trailed off as she looked at Harry to gauge his mood. Seeing that he had no intention of letting go, she continued. “Parv was going on about the whole thing, the shock of finding out she'd become `that witch' who was seeing a married wizard. And she was asking the others if we'd ever found ourselves in that situation.” Looking back down, she reached to pick up her book. Sensing Harry's glare, she looked innocently back up at him.

“That doesn't explain anything. How did you get from Parvati dating some tosser who was cheating on his wife to Ginny's ridiculous assertion that I was the only married wizard she ever dated?” Shaking his head, Harry was puzzled by the faint blush that coloured Hermione's cheeks and ears.

“Ginny was trying to make her feel better, so she opined that the time she was dating you was like dating a married man and it took her two years to figure it out so Parv wouldn't feel quite so bad about it.” Glancing back down, Hermione shrugged as she reached for her book again.

“Hermione Jane that still doesn't explain anything.” Clearly in a huff, Harry reached up on the back of the chesterfield to where his wand was parked. “Do I have to send a message to Gin to find out what she meant by that?”

“Honestly Harry, think about it for a second.” Shaking her head, Hermione nodded as Harry put his wand back. Giving up on getting back to her book, she sighed. “Exactly why did Gin break things off with you?”

Furrowing his brow, Harry thought for a second. “You know as well as I do, she was tired of being second place in my life to all of the things I was committed to.” Not noticing the knowing smile on Hermione's face, Harry shrugged. “Turns out we probably would have been rubbish as a married couple, we really didn't have all that much in common back then.” Looking up, he shrugged. “I was married to my work?”

Trying not to laugh, Hermione sighed at the puzzled look on Harry's face. “Harry, Ginny and I had a long talk after things fell apart between the two of you.” Seeing that he was getting worried, she chuckled.

“Let's try this from a different tact. I think it would be clearer if we went back to our original topic.” Seeing his cautious nod, she continued. “Harry you were somewhat right, while you've been out on a handful of `dates' across the last six years, you have be out a bit more than that. They simply don't count.”

“Other than the fact I'm totally confused, how can it not count if I went out?” Shaking his head, Harry cradled his head in his hands. “Couldn't you just explain this to me so I could understand it?”

“Harry, you've gone `out' with Ginny two hundred and four times since the two of you broke up.” Smiling as he looked up at her, Hermione nodded. “And those don't count because she's your ex and neither of you are trying to do anything regarding getting back together. You simply went out together because you both enjoy the other's company.”

“I still don't see how this clarifies the `married man' thing if I'm still going out but not going out with Ginny.”

Looking a bit apprehensive, Hermione watched Harry for several seconds before continuing. “Well, Ginny was referring to the other witch you spend you time with.”

“That's ridiculous; the only other witch I spend time with is you.”

“Precisely.” Nodding, Hermione smiled at the look in Harry's eyes. “Ginny's point is that she felt like the `other witch' because of the amount of time we spend together, how close we are. Care to hazard a guess how many times we've gone out to things over the past six years?”

“How is it that it took almost six years for me to find out that Ginny was talking about you and not my work?” Seeing the look in Hermione's eyes, Harry shook his head again. “Strike that, I'm certain that the answer isn't anything that will allow me to salvage any sort of illusions about my ability to know what is going on in my own life.”

“Harry, we've gone out over one thousand times in the past six years.” Seeing the stunned look on his face, she nodded. “That includes breakfasts out, lunches, dinners, the theatre, taking our son to the park, nine vacations, one hundred and forty long weekends, and numerous official social functions where one or the other of us was the official escort for the other.” Picking up her book, she opened it to the place she had left off and leaned back. Without looking up from the page, she concluded. “And not once have you ever actually asked me out on a date, so no, none of those count. You've been acting as if we were married since we moved in here eight years ago.”

Stunned, Harry sank back against the arm of the chesterfield and stared at her. His mind was swirling with the facts that Hermione had just presented him with. In the fifteen years he had known his best mate, and especially since they had finished with their education, Harry had taken for granted the amount of time they spent together. Electing to raise their godchild together after Teddy's parents had been killed during the Final Battle; they had simply spent most of their time together.

Not that it was a great hardship. Looking down the divan at his closest mate, Harry studied her intently as she resumed reading. Closing his eyes, he vainly tried to imagine this house, his life, without her in it. The image that immediately sprang to mind was the image of Grimmauld Place the first time he had seen it. Desolate, abandoned, not really good for anything.

Feeling her amusement across the bond that the two had shared since their fourth year, Harry sank back into the arm of the chesterfield as he realized that he had been massaging her foot without consciously thinking about it. Watching her emotions play across her face, Harry thought back across the past fifteen years. Virtually every moment of significance, and every moment when he had thought himself happy had involved the witch who shared his life and his home.

“Can you forgive me?” Barely speaking above a whisper, Harry waited for Hermione to raise her eyes from the book she was reading before he continued. “I wouldn't blame you if you won't, but I just realized what an idiot I am.”

Laying the book back onto her lap, Hermione studied him for almost a minute before answering. “Harry, I didn't bring this up to make you feel bad or to gain an apology from you. Ginny and I are both worried about you.” Seeing the look in her eyes, Harry was shocked to see tears form in the corners as she continued. “You need to move on with your life, find someone who can inspire you, complete you.” Looking around the room she sighed. “We've created a life and a home here, we're raising our son and I'm very happy. But I don't want you to settle for comfortable; I want you to be happy.”

“You honestly think that Lavender or any other witch is the answer to that?” Shaking his head, Harry swung his legs off the chesterfield and scooted down, lifting her feet and placing them in his lap. Gently massaging them to give his hands something to do, he sighed. “Every moment in my life that I was happy, that I knew joy, revolves around you. If anyone's settled, it's you. I know that wizards are queued up to ask you out, but you never seem to go.” Looking up, he could see that smile again and shook his head. “Why?”

“None of them are what I'm looking for.” Seeing the look on his face, she shrugged. “None of them challenge me. None of them complete me.” Looking away, she finished in a much quieter voice. “None of them are you.”

“I'm the reason you and Ron stopped seeing each other before the end of that summer.”

“We're the reason Ron and I stopped seeing each other.” Seeing the look on his face, she chuckled. “Ron's not quite as daft about things of the heart as he seems, all the time. He sussed out exactly how things stood between you and me, and he decided that along with me being `the most insufferably annoying and tightly wound' witch in the history of magic, he really wasn't keen on accepting the fact that he would always be second to you in my heart. A close second, but second nevertheless.”

“But if we didn't know, how could everyone else.” Looking puzzled, Harry looked back down and focused on gently massaging the arch of Hermione's foot. “And I'd really like to know if you're ever going to forgive me for taking you for granted like I have.”

“Harry, there's nothing to forgive, really. You haven't taken me for granted anymore than I have you. We've always `known', we've just become very adept at ignoring the truth.” Smiling bitterly for a second, she sighed. “When I'm being especially shrewish, I blame Rita Skeeter, but most of the time I realize that we both became very comfortable with the love we had, and how we were living, and we both just settled into a pattern where we've been, for all intents and purposes, married to each other for quite some time.” Seeing the look on his face, she amended. “Without any of the obvious perks, of course.”

“One thousand times?”

“One thousand, one hundred and thirteen, to be precise.”

Shaking his head, Harry watched Hermione's face for several seconds before coming to a decision. “Hermione, there's a concert this afternoon in Battersea Park at the bandstand. Would you do me the honor of attending as my date?”

“Mr. Potter, are you asking me out? On an actual date?” Biting her lower lip, Hermione smiled as she watched the exasperated look on Harry's face.

“I do realize I'm rubbish at this due to lack of practice, but that was my intention, yes. I know its short notice and your social calendar is, most likely, impossible, but I'd very much like it if the smartest witch in Europe would go to a concert with me, and then dinner.”

“Hmmm.” Pulling a face, Hermione considered the question. “You did just up the ante, you do realize. A concert and dinner. I suppose I could consider it.”

“Well, you might want to consider quickly since its half-three and the concert begins at four.” Smiling, Harry gave her feet a final flourish and gently set them off his lap. “Greengrass'?”

“I'll need to change, of course.” Seeing the look on his face, she nodded. “And so will you, so you might as well get on with it.” Standing, she straightened her jumper and looked over at the window. “Isn't it a bit sketchy out for a concert in the park?”

“We're English, and Londoners to boot. We laugh at weather than any normal human being would consider daunting.”

“Harry, the typical Londoner's disregard for weather isn't heroic, it's masochistic. And besides, we spent six years living in Scotland; we know what real weather is and have nothing to prove. While you're changing for our date, find the brolly I bought you last year.” Looking over her shoulder as she headed upstairs for her room, she nodded. “There's a revival of `Guys and Dolls' at the Piccadilly. If you really want to impress me on our first date, you might want to have Kreacher see if he could get you a pair of tickets for tonight's performance, just in case it's still raining when we leave the house. That way we could do a bit of shopping, have dinner first and then attend the performance.”

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24 April, 2006 8:45 Grimmauld Place, London

Taking the steps two at a time, Teddy Lupin rocketed up the main staircase of Grimmauld Place, looking for his parents. Having finished breakfast with Kreacher and Winky down in the lower kitchen, he was curious as to why neither had made an appearance yet. They both had taken time from their jobs at the Ministry to spend time with him during his Easter hols, and they had talked about going to the zoological gardens today. He hadn't seen either since they'd left the house yesterday afternoon heading for a concert, or maybe the theatre, they were still discussing the itinerary for their date when they left in the rain yesterday.

Skidding to a halt in front of his mother's room, he put his hand to the door and gently knocked, waited a couple of seconds and then eased the door open. Looking in the room, he saw that the bed was made up and empty. The jumper and jeans she had been wearing yesterday were still lying on the bed, which was very curious.

Smirking, he quietly walked down the hallway to his father's room. Cautiously putting his hand on the doorknob, he smiled when he saw that the door was locked, something that never happened.

Tiptoeing down the hall, Teddy quietly shut the library door behind him and bounced over to the floo. Throwing a handful of powder into the crackling fire, he waited until the flames turned a familiar green and stated `The Burrow' clearly as he could.

Through the green flames, he could see the familiar furniture of the sitting room of the place both his mum and dad considered `home'. The door into the sitting room opened, and he could see a familiar face with red-hair stick her head into the room to see who was calling this early.

“Gramma, is Aunt Ginny awake?” Trying to curb his impatience, Teddy's hair turned a shade of deep blue as he saw the smile on Molly Weasley's face.

“Teddy, your aunt is in the kitchen. Do you want to come over and talk to her? Have a spot of breakfast?”

“Mum and Dad said I have to ask before I leave the house, and I think they're both busy at the moment. Could I speak to Aunt Ginny for a moment?”

“Certainly dear. I'll just go get her.” The Weasley matriarch disappeared through the door. Moments later, he smiled as the face of Ginny Weasley appeared through the door. Putting his finger to his lips, he motioned her over.

Shaking her head, Ginny hurried over to the floo and sat down on the raised hearth. Looking expectantly at him, her brown eyes twinkled merrily as she looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had followed her into the sitting room. Turning back, she nodded conspiratorially. “Well?”

“They went out last night. Dad even said it was a date.” Seeing the shocked look on his aunt's face, Teddy smiled. “It worked just like you said it would. You should have seen Dad's face with I mentioned that Gramma Molly was going to fix him up with Crystal's mum.” Seeing the expectant look on her face, he shrugged. “They haven't said anything yet. They must be taking a bit of a lie-in. Her room is empty, his door is locked.”

“Oh my. Well we certainly don't have to worry about the `three date' rule now.” Giggling, Ginny Weasley noted the questioning look on Teddy's face. “Cub, I think that your mum's face would have been priceless to see when you dropped that little bomb on them, but I'm glad it's working out according to our plan.”

“Wasn't your plan to make Mum see that she fancied Dad?”

“That was part of it. But your dad is stubborn and a bit clueless when it comes to witches. And your mum tends to think too much. So you and I needed to give them a bit of urgency so your mum wouldn't be too subtle with your dad.” Smiling, Ginny could just picture the look on Hermione's face at the prospect of someone throwing `her Harry' into close proximity with Lavender Brown. Tomorrow night's dinner should be a night for announcements all around as she twisted the ring on her left hand that she had purposely not worn to lunch with Hermione on Friday.

“Aunt Ginny, can I ask you a question?” Looking serious, Teddy looked over his shoulder at the library door to make certain it was still closed.

“Of course, we're partners in this.” Smiling, Ginny leaned close to the flames. “What is it you want to know?”

“When I was having breakfast with Kreacher and Winky this morning, Winky said the most curious thing.” Looking around, Teddy nodded seriously as he leaned in so his mouth was close to his aunt's ear. “Kreacher was talking about finally opening up the old Master Suite, and Winky was nodding.” Seeing the smirk on his aunt's face, Teddy continued. “Why did Winky then tell Kreacher they needed to see if they could find my old cot and pram up in the attic?”

“What!?”

-----

A/N - *R.O.U.S's - Rodents Of Unusual Size - ferocious denizens of The Fire Swamp (from `The Princess Bride' which I also do not own.)

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2. Chapter One A - Doing the Math (again)

Chapter One - Doing the Math

A/N - Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe is owned by JKR and various corporate entities. I also don't own `Guys and Dolls' or `The Princess Bride'. I hope everyone enjoys this glimpse at Harry & Hermione, almost eight years afterwards.

Due to some technical difficulty I haven't reasoned out yet, the original posting of this chapter is all italicized. As one reader kindly pointed out in a review, that was very difficult to read, and I thoroughly agree. Thus the reposting of this chapter. Also, due to the very persuasive requests of a number of the reviewers who feel that the original chapter shouldn't be the end of this story, I actually agree and the story will continue.

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23 April, 2006 - Grimmauld Place, London

A fire crackled merrily in sitting room of 12 Grimmauld Place. Sitting at opposite ends of the chesterfield, Hermione was seemingly engrossed in the latest revision of “Hogwarts: A History” while Harry was shaking his head over his copy of The Sunday Prophet. Though the drapes were thrown open, the gloomy conditions outside were overcome by the light and airy décor of the room, though the continual light rain outside intruded as a gentle counterpoint to the noises of the old house.

Without looking up, Hermione smiled softly as she bit her lower lip. It was time. Getting herself comfortable, she shifted her legs until both were lying alongside Harry's. Smiling as Harry unconsciously shifted so his feet were beneath hers, she sighed as his one foot began to gently rub against the arch of her left foot.

“Harry?”

The rustling of the paper answered her as his foot continued to lazily massage against hers. Shaking her head, she lowered the book slightly, just in time to see his emerald eyes disappear behind the pages of the paper.

“Harry?”

“Mmmm?” Not bothering to actually answer, Harry lowered the paper and looked at her.

Resisting the urge to smile at the totally unguarded look he gave her, Hermione nodded at him. “I had lunch with Ginny on Friday.”

A brief flicker of emotion played across his face as he focused on her. “She's back in Britain?”

Nodding, Hermione carefully placed the book aside and smiled. “She just got back from that tour of Canada. She's staying at the Burrow for a week or so before she has to report back to Holyhead.”

Smiling, Harry creased the paper and put it aside. Sitting up a bit, he left his foot gently rubbing against hers as he nodded, thoughtfully. “I'm surprised Arthur and Molly haven't planned some sort of celebration. We'll have to pop by The Burrow one evening and catch up with everyone.”

“Actually, we're having dinner with her and Dennis on Tuesday. We're meeting them at Greengrass' at seven.” Smiling smugly, Hermione watched Harry's thoughts play out across his face. “You don't mind, do you?”

“Not at all and this saves me from having to ask how they're doing.” Smiling, Harry nodded to her. “Things must be going well with them, I suppose.”

Smiling mischievously, Hermione nodded. “Gin hinted about some sort of announcement coming up.” Watching Harry, she nodded, as his eyes got just a bit wider.

“That's brilliant.” Grinning at her, he chuckled. “Should I act surprised when they tell us or are you allowed to let me know?”

“Ginny gave up on us having any secrets from each other years ago. If she hinted to me, she knows you'll know eventually.” Smiling at him, she watched his eyes for any sign of discomfort. “Are you all right about it?”

Looking puzzled, Harry turned his head a bit to the side and shrugged. “Where's that coming from? You know I'd really like her to be happy, and I think Dennis might just be the ticket to that.”

“Gin's worried that you haven't moved on. It's been almost six years since you two parted ways, and she's a bit concerned.”

Shaking his head, Harry rolled his eyes. “Did you let her know that I'm just fine and `moved on'?”

“Erm, well, I really couldn't argue with her logic.” Smiling faintly, Hermione watched Harry's eyes widen in disbelief while she bit her lower lip and waited. Just before he was going to speak, she continued “She was spot on in pointing out you've only been on a handful of dates in almost six years, and only one second date at that.”

Sitting up straighter, Harry stared at Hermione. “I know we're not the most social pair in Britain, but I've certainly been out more than a handful of times over the past six years. And I'm certain I've been on more than one second date.”

Shaking her head, her eyes twinkling, Hermione sighed. “Harry, you've been out on forty three dates since you and Ginny broke up, with thirty seven different witches and four muggles.”

“Well, that would indicate I've had at least two second dates, and I think your numbers are a bit low.” Starting to look annoyed, Harry shook his head and closed his eyes as he tried to recall his dating history since Ginny had decided to end their engagement.

“Jillian doesn't count. You didn't even remember you'd gone out with the poor girl when you asked her out three years after your first and only date.” Smiling, Hermione remembered the crestfallen look on Harry's face when he ended up back at the house less than an hour after picking her up. “She walked out of the restaurant when she twigged to the fact that you had no clue you'd taken her there the last time the two of you had been out together.”

Blushing, Harry nodded slowly. “That was a right disaster. I never knew she knew words like that.” Shaking his head, Harry looked at Hermione carefully. “I still think I've been out more than that in the past six years.”

Before Hermione could respond, they heard a door slam and the sound of a herd of hippogriffs thundering down the main stairs. “Mum? Dad?”

“In here Teddy, and stop running down the stairs, you know it makes your mother nervous.” Smiling, Harry looked over his shoulder as their godson, Teddy, came careening into the sitting room.

Skidding to a halt behind the chesterfield, Teddy launched himself into the air and tumbled over the back, landing on both their feet as he was grinning from ear to ear. “I just finished talking to Vic, and she wants to know if we're coming to her birthday party next week.”

Reaching up and ruffling his godson's hair, Harry nodded. “Of course we're going to Shell Cottage. What time is the party?” Smiling, Harry looked down the couch to where Hermione was shaking her head. “What?”

“Fleur was by yesterday, remember? The party's been moved to the Burrow because Molly's been inviting people left and right.” Shaking her head, Hermione smiled, as Harry looked thoughtful.

“I knew that.” Turning to Teddy, Harry nodded. “We'll head to the Burrow sometime after we leave Hogwarts.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Teddy's hair turned a muted shade of orange, which usually indicated he was puzzled by something. Turning to Hermione, Teddy smiled. “Mum, Vic said that Gramma Molly was working on fixing Dad up with Crystal's mum.”

Ignoring the strangled noises Harry was making, Hermione nodded thoughtfully. “Well, Victoire probably shouldn't have mentioned that, but you know how Gramma Molly is, she's always worrying about your father.” Smiling thinly, Hermione looked around Teddy and noticed the horrified look in Harry's eyes. “Won't it be good to see Lavender again, Harry?”

“Certainly, it's been much too long since the last time she was around.” Looking as if he was contemplating fighting a Hungarian Horntail barehanded, Harry nodded slowly. “I can still remember that Christmas party as if it were yesterday.”

Shaking his head, Teddy turned to face Harry. “Why is Gramma Molly fixing you up with Crystal's mum? What's wrong with Mum?”

Gobsmacked, Harry stared at his godson for almost a minute. In the background, he could see Hermione looking very attentive as they both waited for his answer. Shaking his head, Harry took a deep breath.

“Teddy, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your Mum. She's the prettiest, smartest, and most loving witch in the entire world. I think Gramma Molly feels a bit sorry for Crystal's mum since Crystal's dad isn't around. Uncle Ron used to date her for a while in school, and since he's married to Aunt Luna, I suppose she thought I could spend some time with her.”

Unconsciously striking a pose similar to Hermione's when she was thinking, Teddy bit his lower lip and looked puzzled. “Wouldn't it be better to try to fix her up with Uncle Charlie since he's not married?”

“One would think, but since your father isn't married, I suppose Gramma Molly thinks that since Charlie will be heading back to Romania the day after the party, Lavender might need more time to work.” Shaking her head, Hermione tried to keep a smile on her face. Harry heard her mutter, “Not that it takes her very long” to herself.

“That doesn't make any sense.” Looking over at Hermione, Teddy shrugged. “Aunt Ginny said that Dad was the only married man she ever dated.”

Sputtering in disbelief, Harry stared at his godson and Hermione as his best mate chuckled. Shaking her head, Hermione put her hand on Teddy's arm. “Cub, Aunt Ginny was making a little joke. That's why Aunt Angelina and Aunt Audrey were laughing so hard.” Trying to look stern, Hermione glared at her godson. “And just where were you hiding and eavesdropping that you heard Aunt Ginny make her not so funny joke?”

Grinning, Teddy blushed a bit and his hair changed to a peculiar ginger shade that told the tale before he confessed. “Mum, I was sitting on your lap. I was pretending to be Crooks. Vic and I were playing hide and seek, and it's always funny to sit there and watch her run around trying to find me. She even asked me if I'd seen me.” Giggling, the young wizard looked over at his godfather and nodded. “Dad calls it `hiding in plain sight'. It's an auror trick.”

Smiling mysteriously, Hermione nodded. “I'm certain your father is an expert with that trick. Too bad he doesn't seem to be quite as adept at noticing it when the wand is in the other hand, but that's neither here nor there.” Shrugging at the puzzled look both wizards were giving her, she made a shooing motion towards Teddy. “Why don't you run upstairs and use the library floo to let Victoire know that we'll be at her party?”

Nodding thoughtfully, Teddy stared at Hermione for a second before shaking his head. “Adults are weird.” Jumping down from the chesterfield, Teddy looked over at Harry. “Can we go to the Burrow early? The party's not until four.”

Nodding, Harry smiled. “I don't see why not, cub. We can get there before lunch, and you can play with the mob while your Mum and I help Gramma Molly setup for the party.”

“Great.” Nodding enthusiastically, Teddy bolted for the door. Stopping just inside, he turned around with a mischievous grin. “I'll have Vic make certain Crystal knows to be there early, I'm certain her mum would like to help with getting things ready. I'll tell Uncle Charlie that she needs someone to look after her for the afternoon.”

Shaking his head, Harry glared over at Hermione, who was settling back into her corner of the chesterfield. Smiling sweetly at him, Hermione waited until Harry settled back into his corner before placing her stocking clad feet back on his. Still glaring, Harry stared at her, ignoring the gentle nudges from her foot until she finally sighed in exasperation. “What?”

“Are you going to tell me what Ginny meant by that? And what everyone found so ridiculously funny about it?” Shaking his head, he shifted a bit to get comfortable and unconsciously started rubbing his foot against the arch of Hermione's.

Biting her lip to keep from laughing, Hermione nodded as her eyes twinkled. “Harry, it was last winter. Remember when Parvati hexed her date in the middle of Leicester Square?”

Harry nodded as he grinned at the memory. “I was in the middle of a stakeout in the Midlands when Parv's patronus shows up, in a panic.” Chuckling, he looked at Hermione as she tried to keep from giggling. “Honestly, how does an Unspeakable not know that the wizard she's been seeing for six months was married?”

Rolling her eyes, Hermione finally succumbed and started giggling. “I don't know which was funnier, you apparating there in a dead panic thinking she'd been attacked or the look on your face when you saw what she'd turned him into.”

“Well, her patronus message made it sound as if it were life and death. At least she had the good sense to move him to the apparition point next to the square before she called me for help.” Shaking his head, he grinned at her. “I suppose it didn't help when I started laughing and going on about R.O.U.S.'s.*”

“True, Parv is a big fan of American cinema; so she immediately got what you were referring to. She had to expect something like that when she turned him into a capybara.” Smiling, Hermione leaned back and closed her eyes as Harry's impromptu foot massage began to work its wonders.

“That still doesn't explain what Ginny was going on about, or the fact that everyone seemed to think it was extremely funny.”

“Well…” Hermione trailed off as she looked at Harry to gauge his mood. Seeing that he had no intention of letting go, she continued. “Parv was going on about the whole thing, the shock of finding out she'd become `that witch' who was seeing a married wizard. And she was asking the others if we'd ever found ourselves in that situation.” Looking back down, she reached to pick up her book. Sensing Harry's glare, she looked innocently back up at him.

“That doesn't explain anything. How did you get from Parvati dating some tosser who was cheating on his wife to Ginny's ridiculous assertion that I was the only married wizard she ever dated?” Shaking his head, Harry was puzzled by the faint blush that coloured Hermione's cheeks and ears.

“Ginny was trying to make her feel better, so she opined that the time she was dating you was like dating a married man and it took her two years to figure it out so Parv wouldn't feel quite so bad about it.” Glancing back down, Hermione shrugged as she reached for her book again.

“Hermione Jane that still doesn't explain anything.” Clearly in a huff, Harry reached up on the back of the chesterfield to where his wand was parked. “Do I have to send a message to Gin to find out what she meant by that?”

“Honestly Harry, think about it for a second.” Shaking her head, Hermione nodded as Harry put his wand back. Giving up on getting back to her book, she sighed. “Exactly why did Gin break things off with you?”

Furrowing his brow, Harry thought for a second. “You know as well as I do, she was tired of being second place in my life to all of the things I was committed to.” Not noticing the knowing smile on Hermione's face, Harry shrugged. “Turns out we probably would have been rubbish as a married couple, we really didn't have all that much in common back then.” Looking up, he shrugged. “I was married to my work?”

Trying not to laugh, Hermione sighed at the puzzled look on Harry's face. “Harry, Ginny and I had a long talk after things fell apart between the two of you.” Seeing that he was getting worried, she chuckled.

“Let's try this from a different tact. I think it would be clearer if we went back to our original topic.” Seeing his cautious nod, she continued. “Harry you were somewhat right, while you've been out on a handful of `dates' across the last six years, you have be out a bit more than that. They simply don't count.”

“Other than the fact I'm totally confused, how can it not count if I went out?” Shaking his head, Harry cradled his head in his hands. “Couldn't you just explain this to me so I could understand it?”

“Harry, you've gone `out' with Ginny two hundred and four times since the two of you broke up.” Smiling as he looked up at her, Hermione nodded. “And those don't count because she's your ex and neither of you are trying to do anything regarding getting back together. You simply went out together because you both enjoy the other's company.”

“I still don't see how this clarifies the `married man' thing if I'm still going out but not going out with Ginny.”

Looking a bit apprehensive, Hermione watched Harry for several seconds before continuing. “Well, Ginny was referring to the other witch you spend your time with.”

“That's ridiculous; the only other witch I spend time with is you.”

“Precisely.” Nodding, Hermione smiled at the look in Harry's eyes. “Ginny's point is that she felt like the `other witch' because of the amount of time we spend together, how close we are. Care to hazard a guess how many times we've gone out to things over the past six years?”

“How is it that it took almost six years for me to find out that Ginny was talking about you and not my work?” Seeing the look in Hermione's eyes, Harry shook his head again. “Strike that, I'm certain that the answer isn't anything that will allow me to salvage any sort of illusions about my ability to know what is going on in my own life.”

“Harry, we've gone out over one thousand times in the past six years.” Seeing the stunned look on his face, she nodded. “That includes breakfasts out, lunches, dinners, the theatre, taking our son to the park, nine vacations, one hundred and forty long weekends, and numerous official social functions where one or the other of us was the official escort for the other.” Picking up her book, she opened it to the place she had left off and leaned back. Without looking up from the page, she concluded. “And not once have you ever actually asked me out on a date, so no, none of those count. You've been acting as if we were married since we moved in here eight years ago.”

Stunned, Harry sank back against the arm of the chesterfield and stared at her. His mind was swirling with the facts that Hermione had just presented him with. In the fifteen years he had known his best mate, and especially since they had finished with their education, Harry had taken for granted the amount of time they spent together. Electing to raise their godchild together after Teddy's parents had been killed during the Final Battle; they had simply spent most of their time together.

Not that it was a great hardship. Looking down the divan at his closest mate, Harry studied her intently as she resumed reading. Closing his eyes, he vainly tried to imagine this house, his life, without her in it. The image that immediately sprang to mind was the image of Grimmauld Place the first time he had seen it. Desolate, abandoned, not really good for anything.

Feeling her amusement across the bond that the two had shared since their fourth year, Harry sank back into the arm of the chesterfield as he realized that he had been massaging her foot without consciously thinking about it. Watching her emotions play across her face, Harry thought back across the past fifteen years. Virtually every moment of significance, and every moment when he had thought himself happy had involved the witch who shared his life and his home.

“Can you forgive me?” Barely speaking above a whisper, Harry waited for Hermione to raise her eyes from the book she was reading before he continued. “I wouldn't blame you if you won't, but I just realized what an idiot I am.”

Laying the book back onto her lap, Hermione studied him for almost a minute before answering. “Harry, I didn't bring this up to make you feel bad or to gain an apology from you. Ginny and I are both worried about you.” Seeing the look in her eyes, Harry was shocked to see tears form in the corners as she continued. “You need to move on with your life, find someone who can inspire you, complete you.” Looking around the room she sighed. “We've created a life and a home here, we're raising our son and I'm very happy. But I don't want you to settle for comfortable; I want you to be happy.”

“You honestly think that Lavender or any other witch is the answer to that?” Shaking his head, Harry swung his legs off the chesterfield and scooted down, lifting her feet and placing them in his lap. Gently massaging them to give his hands something to do, he sighed. “Every moment in my life that I was happy, that I knew joy, revolves around you. If anyone's settled, it's you. I know that wizards are queued up to ask you out, but you never seem to go.” Looking up, he could see that smile again and shook his head. “Why?”

“None of them are what I'm looking for.” Seeing the look on his face, she shrugged. “None of them challenge me. None of them complete me.” Looking away, she finished in a much quieter voice. “None of them are you.”

“I'm the reason you and Ron stopped seeing each other before the end of that summer.”

“We're the reason Ron and I stopped seeing each other.” Seeing the look on his face, she chuckled. “Ron's not quite as daft about things of the heart as he seems, all the time. He sussed out exactly how things stood between you and me, and he decided that along with me being `the most insufferably annoying and tightly wound' witch in the history of magic, he really wasn't keen on accepting the fact that he would always be second to you in my heart. A close second, but second nevertheless.”

“But if we didn't know, how could everyone else.” Looking puzzled, Harry looked back down and focused on gently massaging the arch of Hermione's foot. “And I'd really like to know if you're ever going to forgive me for taking you for granted like I have.”

“Harry, there's nothing to forgive, really. You haven't taken me for granted anymore than I have you. We've always `known', we've just become very adept at ignoring the truth.” Smiling bitterly for a second, she sighed. “When I'm being especially shrewish, I blame Rita Skeeter, but most of the time I realize that we both became very comfortable with the love we had, and how we were living, and we both just settled into a pattern where we've been, for all intents and purposes, married to each other for quite some time.” Seeing the look on his face, she amended. “Without any of the obvious perks, of course.”

“One thousand times?”

“One thousand, one hundred and thirteen, to be precise.”

Shaking his head, Harry watched Hermione's face for several seconds before coming to a decision. “Hermione, there's a concert this afternoon in Battersea Park at the bandstand. Would you do me the honor of attending as my date?”

“Mr. Potter, are you asking me out? On an actual date?” Biting her lower lip, Hermione smiled as she watched the exasperated look on Harry's face.

“I do realize I'm rubbish at this due to lack of practice, but that was my intention, yes. I know its short notice and your social calendar is, most likely, impossible, but I'd very much like it if the smartest witch in Europe would go to a concert with me, and then dinner.”

“Hmmm.” Pulling a face, Hermione considered the question. “You did just up the ante, you do realize. A concert and dinner. I suppose I could consider it.”

“Well, you might want to consider quickly since its half-three and the concert begins at four.” Smiling, Harry gave her feet a final flourish and gently set them off his lap. “Greengrass'?”

“I'll need to change, of course.” Seeing the look on his face, she nodded. “And so will you, so you might as well get on with it.” Standing, she straightened her jumper and looked over at the window. “Isn't it a bit sketchy out for a concert in the park?”

“We're English, and Londoners to boot. We laugh at weather than any normal human being would consider daunting.”

“Harry, the typical Londoner's disregard for weather isn't heroic, it's masochistic. And besides, we spent six years living in Scotland; we know what real weather is and have nothing to prove. While you're changing for our date, find the brolly I bought you last year.” Looking over her shoulder as she headed upstairs for her room, she nodded. “There's a revival of `Guys and Dolls' at the Piccadilly. If you really want to impress me on our first date, you might want to have Kreacher see if he could get you a pair of tickets for tonight's performance, just in case it's still raining when we leave the house. That way we could do a bit of shopping, have dinner first and then attend the performance.”

-----

24 April, 2006 8:45 Grimmauld Place, London

Taking the steps two at a time, Teddy Lupin rocketed up the main staircase of Grimmauld Place, looking for his parents. Having finished breakfast with Kreacher and Winky down in the lower kitchen, he was curious as to why neither had made an appearance yet. They both had taken time from their jobs at the Ministry to spend time with him during his Easter hols, and they had talked about going to the zoological gardens today. He hadn't seen either since they'd left the house yesterday afternoon heading for a concert, or maybe the theatre, they were still discussing the itinerary for their date when they left in the rain yesterday.

Skidding to a halt in front of his mother's room, he put his hand to the door and gently knocked, waited a couple of seconds and then eased the door open. Looking in the room, he saw that the bed was made up and empty. The jumper and jeans she had been wearing yesterday were still lying on the bed, which was very curious.

Smirking, he quietly walked down the hallway to his father's room. Cautiously putting his hand on the doorknob, he smiled when he saw that the door was locked, something that never happened.

Tiptoeing down the hall, Teddy quietly shut the library door behind him and bounced over to the floo. Throwing a handful of powder into the crackling fire, he waited until the flames turned a familiar green and stated `The Burrow' clearly as he could.

Through the green flames, he could see the familiar furniture of the sitting room of the place both his mum and dad considered `home'. The door into the sitting room opened, and he could see a familiar face with red-hair stick her head into the room to see who was calling this early.

“Gramma, is Aunt Ginny awake?” Trying to curb his impatience, Teddy's hair turned a shade of deep blue as he saw the smile on Molly Weasley's face.

“Teddy, your aunt is in the kitchen. Do you want to come over and talk to her? Have a spot of breakfast?”

“Mum and Dad said I have to ask before I leave the house, and I think they're both busy at the moment. Could I speak to Aunt Ginny for a moment?”

“Certainly dear. I'll just go get her.” The Weasley matriarch disappeared through the door. Moments later, he smiled as the face of Ginny Weasley appeared through the door. Putting his finger to his lips, he motioned her over.

Shaking her head, Ginny hurried over to the floo and sat down on the raised hearth. Looking expectantly at him, her brown eyes twinkled merrily as she looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had followed her into the sitting room. Turning back, she nodded conspiratorially. “Well?”

“They went out last night. Dad even said it was a date.” Seeing the shocked look on his aunt's face, Teddy smiled. “It worked just like you said it would. You should have seen Dad's face with I mentioned that Gramma Molly was going to fix him up with Crystal's mum.” Seeing the expectant look on her face, he shrugged. “They haven't said anything yet. They must be taking a bit of a lie-in. Her room is empty, his door is locked.”

“Oh my. Well we certainly don't have to worry about the `three date' rule now.” Giggling, Ginny Weasley noted the questioning look on Teddy's face. “Cub, I think that your mum's face would have been priceless to see when you dropped that little bomb on them, but I'm glad it's working out according to our plan.”

“Wasn't your plan to make Mum see that she fancied Dad?”

“That was part of it. But your dad is stubborn and a bit clueless when it comes to witches. And your mum tends to think too much. So you and I needed to give them a bit of urgency so your mum wouldn't be too subtle with your dad.” Smiling, Ginny could just picture the look on Hermione's face at the prospect of someone throwing `her Harry' into close proximity with Lavender Brown. Tomorrow night's dinner should be a night for announcements all around as she twisted the ring on her left hand that she had purposely not worn to lunch with Hermione on Friday.

“Aunt Ginny, can I ask you a question?” Looking serious, Teddy looked over his shoulder at the library door to make certain it was still closed.

“Of course, we're partners in this.” Smiling, Ginny leaned close to the flames. “What is it you want to know?”

“When I was having breakfast with Kreacher and Winky this morning, Winky said the most curious thing.” Looking around, Teddy nodded seriously as he leaned in so his mouth was close to his aunt's ear. “Kreacher was talking about finally opening up the old Master Suite, and Winky was nodding.” Seeing the smirk on his aunt's face, Teddy continued. “Why did Winky then tell Kreacher they needed to see if they could find my old cot and pram up in the attic?”

“What!?”

-----

A/N - *R.O.U.S's - Rodents Of Unusual Size - ferocious denizens of The Fire Swamp (from `The Princess Bride' which I also do not own.)

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3. Chapter Two - Shakespeare in the Park

Chapter Two - Shakespeare in the Park

A/N - Thanks to everyone for their support for this story, and especially for those who wanted the story to continue. Hopefully the continuation will live up to everyone's expectation. And Ladylaughsalot was correct; there was something very crucial missing from the first chapter. Hopefully this will make amends for that.

The waning moon shown thinly through the lightly misting rain as they made their way towards home. Looking up at Harry's face in the soft glow of the streetlamps scattered around the square, Hermione chuckled at the expression on his face.

“And just what's so funny, Miss Granger?” Smiling, Harry leaned closer to make certain she was covered by the brolly.

Wrapping her arm around his waist to pull them closer together she smiled. “Harry, I think we've both been waiting for tonight for a long time. And I'm still trying to suss out exactly why it took us almost twelve years to get here.” Sighing, Hermione leaned her head against him as she cast a subtle banishing charm to remove the damp from both of their coats.

Reaching the steps of Number Twelve, Harry stopped at the bottom of the steps while Hermione stepped up onto the first step leading to the house. While not evening out their relative heights, it did reduce the difference to one where only a slight incline of a head or a slight lifting on the toes would bring them eye-to-eye, or lip-to-lip.

Putting her arms around him, Hermione stared into his green eyes for almost a minute before speaking. “Harry, tonight was wonderful. I know we've been to Greengrass' before, and we've been to the theatre before, things were wonderfully different tonight.”

Smiling, Harry nodded. “I can hear a `but' at the end of that sentence. And I know your rule. Everything that precedes `but' can be ignored, the real meat of the thought is what follows.”

“Harry, what comes next scares me. It's one thing to go on a `date'…” Whatever her point would have been was cut off when Harry leaned forward and kissed her. Hermione started in surprise, but within a second she was returning his kiss just as passionately as he was kissing her. Sliding his hands down her back, having left the brolly hanging in midair to shelter them from the misting rain, his hands gently caressed her as she pressed herself against him, her tongue began seeking entry into his mouth.

As her tongue slipped into his mouth, her hands moved up and her fingers began to entwine themselves in Harry's hair as his hands…

“Earth to Hermione. London Zoo calling.”

Coming out of her reverie, reliving the first kiss that she and Harry had shared last night, Hermione looked up into the face of Chastity Dursley. Looking around for a couple of seconds, Hermione realized that she was sitting on a bench behind the Snowdon Aviary. Shaking her head to clear the memories of what had followed, she realized she was blushing.

“Chastity, I'm sorry. Just woolgathering I suppose.” Shaking her head, she stood up and exchanged a hug with the other witch. “I take it you and Dudley picked the same day to take the twins to the zoological gardens that Harry and I brought Teddy.”

“We had thought about taking the coach out to Whipsnade, but we decided that the twins were a bit too young to appreciate it, so we brought them here instead.” Looking over to where Dudley and Harry were chatting, Chastity smiled as five year old Petunia and Lily were teasing their cousin Teddy. Looking back at Hermione, Chastity studied her friend for a second as she watched her watching Harry. Suddenly, everything clicked into place.

“Merciful Stars!” Shaking her head, Chastity started grinning at Hermione. “When on earth did it happen?”

“I have no earthly idea what you're referring to.” Blushing, Hermione tried to compose herself as she reluctantly turned her attention away from Harry. “Harry and I are just here at the zoo with Teddy since he's on hols.”

“Hermione that might wash with the witches in your office, but it's not going to fool any of us that know the two of you.” Smiling, Chastity nodded as her friend began to blush again. “Harry's looking happier than I've ever seen him and you were sitting on that bench `woolgathering' with a look on your face I used to see as a Prefect when I'd interrupt couples in broomclosets at school.”

“I was just thinking about the theatre last night. Harry and I had a date and saw the new revival in the West End.”

“A date?” Laughing, Chastity covered her mouth with her hand and tried to control herself. “You and Harry never ever date.” Staring at her friend, she eyed her for a couple of seconds and then whipped her head around to catch Harry staring at the pair of them with a curious and worried look on his face. Turning back to Hermione, she smiled wickedly. “Was the wait worth it?”

“Beg pardon?” Staring at her, Hermione shook her head. “And just how did we get from Harry and I going to the theatre to that look you just gave me?”

“Remember, it was a `date' love. And rather than discussing the look I just gave you, let's talk about the look you just gave Harry there.” Smiling as Hermione hastily averted her eyes from Harry, Chastity shook her head. “That's not the `my best mate of fifteen years' look. It's not even the `my best mate of fifteen years who could be so much more if I wasn't such a bloody coward' look you usually give him.”

Blushing, Hermione looked defiantly at her. “Well, since you think you know so much, exactly what look was I giving him?”

“Oh, I'd say that was the `when can we get out of here so I can drag Harry back to bed' look.” Smiling at the shocked look on Hermione's face, Chastity nodded. “I'm so right. When are you two going to start letting people know things have changed?”

“Apparently, as soon as we walk into any room together, if you're to be believed.” Shaking her head, Hermione blushed again as she lowered her voice. “Is it really that obvious?”

“That you've finally admitted to yourself that you're totally in love with Harry?” Seeing the look on Hermione's face, she smiled. “Sorry to disappoint you, but any witch paying attention is going to notice that when they see the two of you together.” Shaking her head, Chastity chuckled. “You two weren't actually thinking you could keep something like this a secret, did you?”

“Well, the thought was since people see us together all of the time, there wouldn't be anything to announce right at the moment.” Blushing, Hermione bit her lower lip and looked around. “You know how we both are uncomfortable that every little thing we do seems to be fodder for the press. I've lost track of how many stories they've published over the years about either us being in some sort of torrid, secret romance or cheating on each other with others in some sort of torrid secret love triangle.”

“Let me get this straight. You plan on dodging the bludger of the Prophet's quarterly expose about the secret romance between you and Harry by carrying on a secret romance?” Laughing, Chastity shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“It doesn't sound quite as well thought out when you put it that way, I'll admit.” Shaking her head, Hermione sighed. “Bother. He's going to hate this.”

“Does he love you?' Refusing to flinch from the glare that Hermione gave her, Chastity nodded. “I'm serious. Does he love you?”

“Of course he does!” Blushing and lowering her voice, Hermione nodded reassuringly to Harry before turning back to her friend. “Neither of us are the type to do something like this unless we were certain.”

“Are you ready to quit playing house and actually marry the boy and make an honest wizard out of him?”

“Honestly, you sound like my mother. She's been making snide insinuations about the two of us for years.” Shaking her head, Hermione paled. “I can't believe I have to tell my mother she's been right since we got back from Australia.”

“Let's leave your issues with Helen out of this. Harry's got her charmed well enough that she won't twit you about it for more than a year or so.” Seeing the look on Hermione's face, Chastity smiled. “Honestly, your issues with your mum can wait. If you want to get ahead of the issue of people knowing, you need to talk to Luna.”

“Luna?” Shaking her head, Hermione sighed. “I so don't need a lecture about nargles and Snorkacks right now.”

“Love, I don't know how she does it, but Luna is very rarely surprised by anything, so telling her will be more you accepting the fact she's going to give you a `I knew that' look. And she really cares about both of you. The fact that Luna is the one that pulls the strings at the Quibbler is the fact you need to remember.”

“No, I'm not going to announce to the world my relationship with Harry in the Quibbler.” Shaking her head, Hermione rolled her eyes. “I can just see it; we'll be sharing the front page with news about Stubby Boardman's latest comeback tour.”

“Hermione, this is Luna. She'll keep her father under control.” Shaking her head, she smiled. “Exactly when was the last time you read a copy?”

“Other than looking at the interviews we gave eight years ago, I've never read a copy, thank you very much.” Glaring at Chastity, Hermione faltered when she saw the look in the other witch's eyes. “What?”

“It's been a much different paper since they went weekly at the end of the summer after the war. From what Luna tells me, the investor who put up the money stipulated she had final say on the balance of articles in the paper, and it's been a smash.” Smiling, she sighed. “You mum and dad subscribe, for Merlin's sake.”

“And I've never understood that.” Shaking her head, Hermione closed her eyes. “I always assumed it was because they both like Luna.”

“Your mum is fond of her, but you don't see her wearing radish earrings, do you?” Seeing the begrudging look on Hermione's face, Chastity smiled. “For Merlin's sake, they did do the interviews with you lot after Harry defeated Voldemort and you had no complaints about that.” Seeing Hermione's slow nod, Chastity continued on.

“The eighth anniversary is coming up, you could sit down and do an interview about how things have changed in the past eight years and work that in as part of the story.” Seeing Hermione bite her lower lip as she thought, Chastity nodded. “You need not go into any sort of detail, just mention the fact that the two of you are together and you're planning on taking raising your son to the next level.”

“Have you considered a career as a press agent?” Looking over at Harry, Hermione nodded in response to the annoyed look he was giving her.

“Would you two give that a rest? It's downright annoying how you two do that. Dudley and I have been married for six years now and we still can't figure it out.”

“What?” Hermione absentmindedly responded as she nodded to Harry and smiled. “He's not too chuffed that we're going to have to do this, but he'd rather it be Luna than anyone at the Prophet or Witch Weekly.” Shaking her head, Hermione tilted her head a bit and looked at Chastity. “I'm not certain what you mean. After fifteen years people get used to each other, they tend to know what the other is going to say or do.”

“Hermione, if you'd stop and think about it, you'd realize what a load of tripe that was.” Shaking her head, Chastity giggled at the offended look on Hermione's face. “Honestly, the two of you have always had a connection that was just short of scary, and whatever it was you two did last night took it over the edge to absolutely bloody scary.”

Seeing the blush on her friend's face as she mentioned the previous evening, Chastity smirked. “I'm beginning to believe that the two of you went a bit further than `first kiss' last night.”

“I'm so not going to have this conversation standing in the middle of the London Zoo.” Blushing, Hermione shook her head. “Or anywhere else, for that matter.”

“Doesn't matter, the look on your face tells the tale. Good thing I'm a happily married witch. If I was single and on the `Potter Prowl', I'd be tempted to obliviate you and try my luck with him.” Chastity started giggling at the look on Hermione's face when she mentioned that infamously tacky column from Witch Weekly devoted to speculations about dating Harry Potter.

As the two witches wandered over to where Dudley and Harry were standing while the children played, Hermione scowled. “Hopefully once we talk to Luna, that will be the end of that little bit of journalistic voyeurism.” Shaking her head, Hermione sighed. “Honestly, I could never see why witches would queue up to embarrass themselves like that on the very very off chance that Harry might be held against his will and forced to read that column.”

“That's because, for the past dozen years or so, he's been yours. You just never got around to putting a tag on him so the rest of those poor witches thought there might be the slightest bit of a chance.” Smirking at the blush on Hermione's face, Chastity stepped over and gave Harry a hug. “Wotcher Harry. And congratulations.”

“Thanks Chastity.” Returning the hug, Harry rolled his eyes as Hermione glared at him.” What? We said we were going to tell family first and if anyone figured it out, we wouldn't lie about it.”

“Did it ever occur to you that she might have been bluffing to see if she could get you to confess to something?”

“Hermione Jane. Being in love with you isn't some dark, dank, secret that I'd feel compelled to `confess' to. Besides, since Dudley already figured it out, I assumed his wife would be at least as quick on the uptake.” Shaking his head, Harry nodded to his cousin. “No offense, Duds.”

“None taken. My wife is the brains of the outfit, so if I can see that Harry's changed and can't keep his eyes of you, you had a snowball's chance of fooling Chastity, Hermione.” Shaking his head, Dudley chuckled. “Do you two want to go around the rest of the zoo with us, or would you rather be alone?”

“I think we should make this a family day at the zoo, it might well be the last bit of normal we see for a while once we talk to Luna, later today.” Shaking her head, Hermione put her arm through Harry's as she glanced over at the children. “Lily, put that squirrel down. He's not a pet.”

Placing the annoyed rodent back on the ground, Lily Dursley shook her head at her cousin. “Teddy, you're so full of it. Aunt Hermione hasn't changed one bit, I don't care how much she's been snogging Uncle Harry.”

“Lily Rowena Dursley. You shouldn't use words you don't understand.” Glaring at her daughter, Chastity bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the mortified look on Hermione's face. Turning to her other daughter, she nodded. “And that goes for you, Petunia Athena.”

“Mum, of course we know what it means.” Smiling innocently, Petunia scuffed the toe of her trainer in the dirt and nodded seriously to the assembled adults. “It's what Aunt Luna and Uncle Ron do anytime they think no one's looking at them.” Ignoring her cousin who was laughing so hard his hair was turning blue; she smiled and looked at her sister. “What was it Aunt Luna said, Lils?”

“She said that if Aunt Hermione and Uncle Harry ever figure things out, they'll be like Snorkacks in April.”

“Snorkacks in April?” Looking warily at the very serious five year old in front of her, Hermione shook her head. “I'm very certain I don't want to know.”

“And they say she's the smartest witch of her age.” Petunia began.

“When everyone knows that April,” Lily continued.

“Is Snorkack mating season.” Petunia chimed in, as Hermione's eyes got big.

“Which is why you have baby Snorkacks in January.” Lily added, turning towards Teddy.

“Is that when you're going to have a baby brother or sister?” Petunia concluded, nodded to Teddy.

“Ladies, that will be just about enough of that.” Shaking his head, Dudley grinned apologetically at Hermione. “I'm sorry Hermione, they spent a couple of days with Ron and Luna last week, and they've been quite eager to share their insights with everyone.”

“Dudley, it's not a problem. I'm certain that's not going to be the last time we're going to have the children question posed to us.” Smiling, Harry wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and gestured towards that path that was marked leading towards the owl exhibit. “Shall we go see what the zoo has in the way of owls?”

“Have you thought about how you're going to tell Mum?” Dudley chuckled at the thoughtful look on Harry's face as he considered the question. “You know it's going to be bragging rights between her and Helen as to which one gets informed first.”

“And then there's Molly. If she gets left out of the loop, we'll never hear the end of it.” Shaking her head, Hermione sighed as the twins and Teddy raced ahead to the owl exhibit.

"Dinner party tonight at Grimmauld Place." Harry and Hermione chorused as Dudley and Chastity shook their heads and laughed.

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4. Chapter Three – A New Show at the (Snow) Globe

Chapter Three - A New Show at the (Snow) Globe

Spook Hall is the informal name given to that portion of the Ministry better known as The Department of Mysteries. The domain of the Unspeakables, the mysterious chambers where the unknown and things better left unknown were studied, had been for centuries a place that most of the witches and wizards in the Ministry avoided at all costs. The Unspeakables themselves were a group that cultivated an air about them that encouraged the mere mortals that worked for other departments to shy away. That is, until four years ago when Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil stormed the bastion of the inscrutable and gave a human face to what had been something better left unthought-of about.

“Lav, you can't be serious.” Shaking her head, Parvati Thomas rolled her eyes. “You're seriously trying to tell me that the `Wall of Grimmauld Place' has fallen?”

“Unspeakable's Honor.” Smiling, Lavender Brown nodded; sending her short blonde hair flying. “I have it from an unimpeachable source that they've finally figured it out.” Rolling her eyes, she reached down to the charm bracelet on her wrist and fingered the transfigured DA galleon that hung there. “I was beginning to think we'd have to call an intervention from the DA or the Order to get them to see it.”

“Speaking of `seeing'.” Parvati nodded significantly to her blonde friend as Lavender blushed a bit. “Out with it, what did you see?”

“I'm really not certain.” Looking puzzled, Lavender shrugged as the two of them came to the Chamber of Doors where the rest of the territory of the Unspeakables could be accessed from. “All I know is that there was a winged woman carrying a huge sword barring my Path to the Inner Planes.”

“Curious.” Looking serious, Parvati placed her wand against the door leading to the Hall of Prophecies. As the door came open, she shook her head. “And that's why we're headed down to the Christmas Shoppe?”

Chuckling at her best mate's characterization of the chamber where recordings of acknowledged prophecies, active or otherwise, were stored, Lavender smirked. “Actually, I was just going down to do a bit of shopping for the happy couple.” Trying to keep a straight face as Parvati snickered as they started heading down the hallway, she shrugged. “You do remember what happened when you put a baker's dozen charmed muggle snow globes on Badette Penfield's desk that one morning with little tin labels on them? “

“How was I to know that she was going to think that every seer in Britain had cranked out a prophecy all at once?” Trying to look innocent, Parvati shrugged. “She was the one that sent me off on a mandatory vacation because I was `stressed out and losing it'.” Shaking her head as Lavender erupted into a fit of giggles, she nodded. “I just brought her back some souvenirs of my trip so she'd know I had done what she asked.”

“Please, those notes you added to the globes convinced her that some Dark Wizard was launching a plot to alter the weather patterns of North America in an effort to raise an army of yetis, abominable snowmen, and green liveried elves to enslave the muggles and conquer the continent.” Shaking her head in admiration, Lavender smiled as she remembered her former boss being led out in restraints by a team of healers from St. Mungo's shouting about the dire threat posed by Kris Kringle. “And it was absolutely bloody brilliant.”

“Who knew she was so ignorant of anything muggle and not English?” Trying to keep a straight face, Parvati gazed impassively at Lavender as the other witch tried to stop laughing at their former boss, whose contempt for everything muggle was only exceeded by her disdain for anything not `properly English'. Lavender's Scottish heritage, made manifest when Kingsley made mention of her distant family ties to a certain Scottish politician in Parliament, and Parvati's heritage had made both of them the obvious recipients of every scut detail and dodgy assignment that came around until her removal for `medical reasons'. The fact that the Patils have been living in England since the middle of the Seventeenth Century and Lavender's continued references to her distant Muggle relative as `that bloody Socialist wanker' did nothing to keep them out of Penfield's sights when it came to scutwork.

“Bad Penny never got over Kingsley overruling her and assigning us as part of the security for that muggle economic summit that one time. I notice you got a vaguely worded commendation for `services rendered to the Ministry' a week after her retirement was announced.” Chuckling, Lavender shook her head at the inscrutable look Parvati was giving her. “Keep that up; we've got a poker game with the boys and girls from Auror Team Twelve this weekend. I need some new shoes if there's a fancy wedding coming up.”

Looking around at the Room of Hours, Parvati sighed. “What is it with you and shoes? And you can't just wear the elf-made ones any sensible witch would wear.” Looking down at Lavender's feet she chuckled. “I know you started wearing the muggle ones just to annoy Bad Penny, but she's gone now.”

“Ginny says I caught shoe fever.” Smiling impishly, Lavender rolled her eyes. “Besides, you meet the cutest guys in muggle shoe shoppes.”

“Better muggles than certain wizards I could name.” Parvati grinned at the blush that graced Lavender's face.

“It's bad enough Hermione's not gotten over that Christmas disaster without you bringing it up.” Lavender sighed as she remembered the Ministry Christmas party when she made a very blatant play for Harry's attention.

“I knew it was a bad idea, but I was a bit soused, I'd had another row a couple of weeks before with Crystal's father, and they'd just gone through their `we're just friends, we can't figure out why everyone thinks we're together' routine, so I decided to see if it was true.” Blushing, Lavender smiled sadly. “I think Harry's gotten over it, but Hermione still gives me that look whenever I'm in the same room with him.”

“Well, I think we've heard the last of that song and dance routine.” Seeing the grin on Lavender's face, Parvati nodded. “I'll agree that when she said `Harry's free to see anyone he likes with my blessing, you had a green light to ask him to dance.”

Blushing, Lavender smirked. “But transfiguring his belt buckle into a sprig of mistletoe was a bit over the top?”

“Well, between the fact you had it glowing in the dark, and you told him you were going to kiss him under the mistletoe in front of her, I'd say you were a bit over what she was willing to ignore. I think what really set her off was the fact she couldn't undo it until he kissed someone.”

“Hey, I can't be blamed for what happened next. I didn't even get a kiss out of it and I'm the one she's been snarky with since then.” Shaking her head in exasperation, she sighed. “I can't believe your sister and Luna both came up and claimed kisses from Harry Bloody Potter, claiming they were owed them since they didn't get goodnight kisses after the Yule Ball and that party of Horace's our sixth year.”

“Luna was just trying to let him off the hook without pushing Hermione into a public kiss with Harry; she's very married for Merlin's sake.” Breaking into a wicked grin, Parvati nodded her head in acknowledgement. “My sister, on the other hand, has been on a quest for a rematch with Harry for several years now, ever since she dumped the Hyphen.”

“I'm sorry; the look on her face was priceless. Padma put everything she had into that kiss, and all Harry did when she was done was hand her the mistletoe, and then ask Hermione if she fancied a dance.” Giggling as she remembered the dismayed look on Parvati's sister's face, she waited until her friend nodded before continuing. “It's a good thing they weren't in earshot when she finally was able to talk.”

“Wouldn't have mattered, the first ninety seconds was in Hindi. The crowning moment was when she glared at the two of them waltzing on the dance floor, shook her head, and said, `He's so married'. I thought Kingsley was never going to recover from laughing.” Smiling, Parvati nodded to her friend. “Hopefully Hermione will be less inclined to hold onto the past, now that she's gotten her situation with Harry where it should be.”

“Speaking of that night, since Padma got a dance with the Minister as a `consolation prize' as he so gallantly put it, are they still seeing each other on the sly?”

“Please. Those two are so not hiding anything from anyone. The running joke around the Second Floor is that Kingsley must be expecting, since there's a Children's Healer in and out of his office three or four days a week.” Shaking her head, Parvati smiled at her sister's antics. “At least they know they're seeing each other. They're just delusional in that they think no one else has noticed.”

“Hey, it's better than Harland and I. At least they're in the same time zone. We can't even seem to be on the same continent more than once every three months or so.” Sighing wistfully, Lavender smiled as she thought about her longtime friend and her daughter's father.

“Lav, I'm sorry about Harland.” Putting her hand on the other witch's arm, Parvati nodded at the look on her face. “Can't the two of you ever work things out to be together?”

Looking uncharacteristically serious, Lavender shrugged. “Except for the fact that we can't seem to get over each other, it seems so hopelessly confused. Those times we are able to be together, it's not just the physical thing going on. Crystal figured out two years ago that `Uncle Harland' was actually her father.”

“She called him `Uncle Harland' when I came by the house last summer to take her to the beach to give you guys some alone time.”

“Its part of the game she plays, I think.” Smiling, Lavender nodded at the surprised look on Parvati's face. “When we're out, or someone's at the house, it's `Uncle Harland'. When it's just family, she calls him `Uncle Dad'.”

“That must have come as quite a shock the first time she did that.”

“Tell me about it. We were at Maxine's and the waitress had just left the table. She turns to Harland with those big blue eyes of hers and says `So, Uncle Dad, is there something you and Mum want to tell me?' I about passed a sweet tea through my nose and Harland choked for two minutes on the sip of butterbeer he was taking when she asked that.”

“She's so your daughter. How'd Harland take it?”

“Surprisingly well. The fact that he couldn't openly be her father was giving him fits before, so now he's her `Dad' for everything he can be. We even got a muggle phone installed and a shielded room up in the attic where she's got a computer. They chat two or three times a week about stuff.”

“They chat?” Smirking, Parvati stared at her friend.

“Actually, it's just them. You'll find that being an Unspeakable is very hazardous to complicated muggle technology, whether we're actively using magic or not. I can use one of those old rotary phones, but if I'm within five feet of Crystal's portable, I'll fritz it up until I leave the room.” Shaking her head, Lavender sighed. “I miss him so.”

“Still the same issues between you two?”

Shaking her head, Lavender sighed. “Pretty much it's the fact that I won't give up my job here and he won't give up his job working for the Canadian Ministry that dooms us to not being together.”

“When was the last time he was over?” Shaking her head at the folly of her friend being involved with a wizard that lived a quarter of the way around the globe, she contrasted the reality of Lavender being faithful to a wizard she rarely saw and her public persona as an incurable flirt who chased every wizard she could find.

“Beginning of the month, it was. He was here to escort some officials from his Ministry who were talking to Kingsley about including a couple of their academies in the Tri-Wizard Tournament rotation. Crystal was staying with my mum and dad, so it was a very romantic seventy-two hours.”

As they reached the entrance to the Hall of Prophecy, they looked around. Nodding to their left, Lavender shuddered faintly as she remembered the `discussion' she had last night with the Guardian of the Paths that had barred her from seeking knowledge of the future of her two friends. “If I'm interpreting what she told me correctly, what we'll be looking for is down this way.”

Heading further into the Hall, going back in time if you will as they headed for the older prophecies held by the Ministry, Parvati scowled. “Are you certain?”

“She rebuffed me with a look as I tried to move past her. I swear that arching eyebrow thing reminded me of Hermione at her best, and she knocked me back on my metaphysical arse without breaking a sweat.” Shaking her head, Lavender grimaced at the memory. “Then she told me, in a very clear voice, that if I checked the status of `Three Six One Forty', I'd know enough to move forward.”

“That's not good.” Shaking her head, Parvati looked nervously at the shelves as the passed the oldest active prophecy and started heading for the ten rows that contained the inactive ones, the ones that were not active because the primary person mentioned in the prophecy wasn't alive, yet. Looking over at the sign-in board beside the end of Row 10, she nodded. “Four weeks ago, that was the last time someone checked the archives.” Shrugging, she sighed. “How long as it been since one of these went active?”

“Just before Christmas 1978, almost thirty years ago if I remember our briefing correctly.” Shaking her head as she signed them in, Lavender looked around nervously. “And that was one of the two `Unveiling' prophecies. As that old movie Dean is fond of quoting says, `I have a very bad feeling about this.'”

Stepping down the aisles, both witches looked at each other as they arrived at Aisle 3. As if in response to their anxiety, there was a faint light glowing down the aisle, on the row labeled `six' on the end. Although they were deep within the heart of the Ministry, and in the Department of Mysteries, which was the most secure section of the entire complex, they both drew their wands as they began making their way down the aisle. Cautiously approaching, they both stopped and stared as the globe in niche one hundred and forty was glowing softly in the continual twilight illumination of the Hall of Prophecy.

Gingerly reaching out her hand, as if the globe were a noxious creature that would attack her without provocation, Lavender picked up the brass plaque that was lying beside the now active prophecy.

Engraved on the plaque was the globe's current location, 3-6-140, its new location that it would appear in as soon as one of the two witches tapped the plaque with their wand to signify that they acknowledged that the prophecy was now active, and a brief synopsis of the circumstances surrounding the collection of the prophecy.

“Headmistress Fiona MacBeth to Brother Fregus. 19 March 1286. `The Leader of the Unveiling' (unknown wizard), `Daughter of the Mormaer of Moray' (unknown witch), `Heir apparent of Ravenclaw' (unknown witch - possibly Hermione Granger), Harry Potter - Heir of Gryffindor, unknown twin witches, unknown ? (witch? werewolf?), and unknown wizard.” Looking over at Parvati, she waited until her friend looked up from reading the plaque before commenting.

“It would have to be the other `Unveiling' Prophecy.” Shrugging, Lavender smiled thinly. “Kingsley's going to have a fit. All he needs, on top of dating your sister, is the prospect that the whole `Statutes of Secrecy' are going to come tumbling down around our ears. At least we know where to go to hear the original.” Looking a bit puzzled at the annotation on the plaque, she shrugged. “And there are two principal parties on this one

“True, but look when it went active.” Illuminating the tip of her wand, Parvati reached over and flipped over the plaque to the inscription that had magically appeared at the moment the prophecy was activated. “Moonrise 24 April 2006.”

Smirking, Lavender sniggered as she did a quick mental calculation. “Always knew Harry wasn't a true Englishman.”

Staring at her friend as if she was questioning her sanity, Parvati tapped the plaque three times with her wand. The plaque briefly glowed a bright blue as the globe containing the prophecy connected to it disappeared from its niche, to reappear further forward in the Hall, finding it's chronological resting place among the tens of thousands that were waiting to be claimed. Seeing that Lavender was still too pleased with herself to respond without prompting, Parvati shook her head. “Are you going to explain that?”

“You remember that dodgy song about the bloke coming home drunk from a tavern Seamus sings every time he gets toasted?” Seeing the amused nod from Parvati, Lavender laughed again. “Well, moonrise in London this morning was around 4:35, give or take.”

“And?” Still not seeing the connection between moonrise in London, Harry, the prophecy, and that ridiculous song Seamus would sing when he'd had a bit too much to drink, Parvati was becoming annoyed with Lavender's amused look. “Honestly, you're looking like you did when you caught Hannah and Neville snogging during that DA reunion we had in Wales right before they got married.”

“Think of the last verse.” Seeing that her friend was still not getting it, she rolled her eyes. “The bloke comes home, sees some guy sneaking out the front door and asks his wife who that was leaving at a quarter after three in the morning. She tells him that it was the tax collector from the Queen.”

“Harry's a tax collector?”

Shaking her head sadly, Lavender started laughing at the confused look on Parvati's face. “Honestly. The chorus finishes with the bloke saying that `an Englishman, who could last till three, I'd never seen before.'” Chuckling at the shocked look on Parvati's face as she finally got it, Lavender shook her head. “At least we know what the two of them were doing this morning when the Wall of Grimmauld Place came tumbling down.”

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A/N - The song Lavender is referring to is “Seven Drunken Nights”, and it's been recorded by numerous groups. While it's old enough to be firmly in the public domain, I don't own it, Seamus just borrows it from time to time when he's had a bit too much. Also, I don't own Star Wars or any of its associated properties. And, of course, JKR and various corporate entities own the entire Harry Potter universe, and I'm most definitely grateful to her for creating such an interesting framework

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5. Chapter Four - Dinner Theatre

Chapter Four - Dinner Theatre

The atmosphere at Number Twelve was just a bit frenetic as the clock in the entry hall announced half six. Looking around the formal dinning room, which they rarely used. Hermione sighed as she surveyed the room.

“Harry?” Waiting for a second to see if he was within earshot, she shook her head and looked at the table. “Kreacher?”

Kreacher appeared with a very subtle `pop' as Hermione looked around. “Yes, Mistress?”

“Kreacher, we've been through this quite a number of times. My name is `Hermione'.” Smiling, Hermione shook her head as she and Kreacher went through their familiar routine.

“Yes, Hermione?” Smiling, Kreacher nodded to the Mistress of Grimmauld Place. “Everything is progressing smoothly in the kitchen, all of the guests with the exceptions of Miss Ginevra and Master Dennis have responded that they're coming, and Master Harry is out in the back of the house, attempting to coax the gernumblies into behaving later this evening when everyone retires to the back.”

“If Teddy's upstairs, have him go out and rescue his father. He's the only one who has a clue about the agreements Luna made with them when she persuaded them to relocate here.” Shaking her head, Hermione chuckled at the long explanation that Luna had provided when she had `surprised' Harry and Hermione with garden gnomes in their garden for their second Christmas here in Grimmauld Place. Both she and Harry had graciously accepted, and six months later they thanked her again when the gernumblies mobbed a disguised Death Eater who was impersonating a courier from the Ministry and subdued the would-be assassin.

Nodding, Kreacher smiled. “I'll send the young Master out to rescue his father in a moment.” Looking around the room, Kreacher nodded. “Winky is finishing up the dinner arrangements in the kitchen, and Walks With Nargles is putting the finishing touches on the pastries for this evening.”

“Are you certain Ron and Luna didn't need her services tonight? I know she's a bit at loose ends over there, but we could have survived without extra help.” Shaking her head, Hermione smiled at Kreacher.

“If the Mistress of the House is going to throw dinner parties at the last instant to announce truly significant events, then she might as well accept the fact that additional help will be needed from time to time.” Nodding smugly at Hermione, knowing full well that his referring the Mistress of the House in the third person wasn't, technically, a violation of her feelings about referring to her by her given name, Kreacher waited for her to respond.

“It was inconsiderate of us to do this at the last minute, but things seem to be spiraling a bit out of control, and Harry wants the family to know before they start hearing rumors from various sources.”

“With the exception of the Weasleys, everyone would have been fine with butterbeer and pizza.” Harry observed as he entered the dining room from the French doors leading to the outside. Crossing the room, he casually wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and gently kissed her on the cheek. Seeing the approving smile on Kreacher's face, he shrugged. “At least you're not giving us a never ending round of `I told you so'.”

“Master Harry, Kreacher would never have dreamed of commenting upon the relationship between you and Mistress Hermione. Winky and I had every confidence that the two of you would figure things out, eventually.” Nodding, Kreacher turned back to Hermione. “I'll just go and make certain that Winky remembers Master Ron's ability to demolish a dessert cart.”

As Kreacher vanished from the room, Hermione shook her head. “He's been so insufferably cheerful since breakfast this morning. I really do hope we can survive everyone giving us the `it's about bloody time' speech for the next six months.” Looking at Harry with surprise, Hermione kissed him. “You actually got the gnomes settled?”

“Well, actually I resorted to vague threats, which seemed to work this time.” Seeing the disbelieving look on Hermione's face, Harry smiled. “I pointed out that you were very stressed, and if they didn't feel compelled to behave tonight, then you wouldn't feel compelled to ensure that Crookshanks behaved this evening, either.”

“Harry! So now I've become the Wicked Witch of the Garden?” Shaking her head, Hermione glared at him. “You'll have it so they'll be hiding every time I leave the house.”

“I was just teasing love. In fact, out of all the arguments I tried, I think the fact that Luna is going to be here had more to do with it than any other argument I could muster.” Leaning over and kissing her gently on the cheek, Harry smiled. “For some reason, they're wanting to be cooperative today. I only had to bargain with the head gnome for about ten minutes and promise them first dibs on the dessert leftovers.”

“Did you forget Ron is going to be here tonight? There's not much of a chance of that happening.” Shaking her head, Hermione sighed. “The boy just turned twenty-eight and he still eats like he's sitting at the Gryffindor table for start of term.”

“He'll inform you that he's still a `growing wizard', though I'm certain I don't want to know what he means by that, and Luna will just smirk and go on about him `working it off'.” Shaking his head at the foibles of two of their oldest friends, Harry smiled. “But I had Winky put aside a pumpkin pie and a tray of scones for them, so that should be sufficient for seven or eight gernumblies.” Looking a bit puzzled, Harry looked back towards the door leading to the lower kitchen. “Did we hire another elf for the house? The one making those crème horns Luna likes looks familiar.”

“As long as Ron doesn't mystically `sense' the presence of an uneaten dessert somewhere in the house, that should work.” Shaking her head at him, Hermione sighed. “That's Walks With Nargles, the nanny elf that Luna hired when they were in America last year.”

“Explain to me why Luna and Ron, who don't have any children and will admit under duress in front of Molly that they don't plan on having any children for at least two more years, would hire an elf as a nanny, much less an American one.”

“Luna was sitting in a coffee shop in a place called Keystone South Dakota when she noticed a house elf trying to get her attention standing outside. Being Luna, she didn't think anything of it and invited her in for a cup and some pastries.” Rolling her eyes, Hermione tried to keep from laughing at the expression on Harry's face. “And before you ask, yes she does know about the Secrecy Statutes, and no it never occurred to her that someone might think it strange for her to be sitting there, drinking coffee and eating pie with a house elf.”

Chuckling, Harry shook his head. “I know this part of it. What I'm still unclear on is the `why' of it. Every time I ask Ron, all he can say is `its Luna mate, what can I say.'”

“Well, you know as much as everyone in Britain, other than Luna and Walks With Nargles. All I can say is that Walks was bored living with the Anishinaabe and both she and Luna decided that the proper thing for her to do would be come back to England with them and attach herself to the family.”

Shaking his head at the foibles of their friends, Harry looked at Hermione inquisitively. “Did Ginny ever get back to us?”

“Actually, she rang me back a few minutes after you went outside. They've got some sort of commitment tonight that they can't get out of, but we're still on for tomorrow night at Greengrass'.” Smiling at Harry, Hermione nodded. “She's already figured it out somehow, but she says we have to tell them anyway tomorrow night. As your `heartsick and distraught ex' she has the right to be told in person.”

“Heartsick and distraught? I distinctly remember her being the one to call things off.” Shrugging, Harry looked a bit puzzled. “Any idea how she figured it out?”

Holding up one finger, Hermione nodded to Harry. Walking over to the doors into the dining room, she looked up the stairwell and called out “Teddy?”

Making shushing motions towards Harry as he tried to ask what she was doing, she waited until Teddy made an appearance at the top of the stairs. Seeing that he'd already changed into the clothes he was going to wear tonight, she smiled at him. “You look nice cub. Are you certain you won't mind keeping the twins occupied tonight?”

“Thanks Mum.” Teddy's hair shifted a bit towards electric blue as he nodded in agreement. “It's no problem Mum. Lils and Tuney are always good fun when they come over. Vic and I can handle them.”

As he turned to head back to his room, Hermione called him again, “Teddy?”

Turning around he smiled. “What'd I forget this time?”

“Nothing. Your Aunt Ginny said to give her a floo call at the Burrow. She forgot to tell you something when she talked to you this morning.” Turning her head a bit, Hermione kept Teddy in her line of sight as she nodded to him.

“Thanks Mum, I'll… I haven't talked to Aunt G for a while, I wonder what she wants” he hastily corrected as he looked nervously at his mother, his hair turning a sickly shade of green that usually meant a bit of a guilty conscience. “I suppose I should go see what she wants since we haven't chatted in ages.” With that, he bolted down the hallway towards the library and its waiting floo connection.

“Ginny's not at the Burrow, so he's going to have to wait until tomorrow to get his story straight with her.” Hermione smirked as she walked back over to Harry and wrapped her arms around him.

“Which one of them recruited the other?” Shaking his head, Harry rolled his eyes. “Do you have the feeling that we were a tad setup?”

“Harry James Potter. Unless you have some complaints about how things turned out, I'm going to suggest that how it happened isn't really important.” Looking at him with her best McGonagall look, Hermione bit the inside of her lip to keep from laughing at the expression on his face.

“Actually, I was going to suggest that we raise his allowance and do something nice for Gin and Dennis.” Waiting until she dropped the glare, he nodded. “Speaking of which, we do need to go by Hogwarts and let Minerva take us to task for taking so long. Since you were always her favorite, it's going to be my fault, so I might as well start apologizing to her sooner than later.”

“I was the favorite? I don't seem to remember Minerva ever buying me a broom.” Grinning at the look on Harry' face, Hermione dimpled as she kissed him on the nose. “I think you were definitely the favorite there.”

“Please, that was just Quidditch and the House Cup. She would have bought Filch a broom if she thought it would have helped beat Severus for the Cup. You were and are her star pupil, the only reason I wasn't expelled a dozen times over was because you were with me most of the time.”

“Aha, the truth comes out. You just had me around to get you out of trouble. You probably never noticed I was a girl until last night.” Turning away from him, she sniffed loudly. “I see how you are, Mr. Potter.”

“You've obviously mistaken me for Ron Weasley, Ms Granger. I liked having you around, and I definitely noticed you were a girl long before the Yule Ball.” Turning her back around Harry put both of his hands on her shoulders. “The fact I was an idiot for fifteen years doesn't mean that I didn't appreciate you, it only means that I was too stupid to realize that everything I had every wanted was within reach since I was twelve.”

“Harry, I really don't think we need to worry about the why of it.” Smiling, Hermione leaned forward and kissed him, very passionately. After they broke for air, she continued, though her voice was a bit ragged. “We've finally realized what we both wanted, and the only thing we have to do is survive telling our families and friends and then its `happy ever after'.”

Looking over at the clock, she grimaced. “However, since it's well past half six and people will most likely start arriving about a quarter after, I think we should go upstairs and change and get ready to greet the mob.” Taking Harry's hand, she smiled as they started walking towards the door together. “Think Chastity will keep her word and not tell Petunia?”

“Chastity's not our leak there.” Smiling, Harry reached down and picked Hermione up, honeymoon style. “The twins will tell their grandmother unless Dudley keeps a close watch on them.”

Ignoring her protests, he carried her up the steps and to his bedroom, both of them laughing as he kicked the door shut.

-----

Smiling conspiratorially at each other, Helen Granger and Petunia Evans nodded towards the couple at the one end of the table. Helen was ignoring her husband Alex's vain attempt to shush her as she chatted with Petunia. “Something is very definitely up. Those two haven't been more that three feet from each other all evening. And the fact both of them were `indisposed' when we arrived?” Nodding towards where Harry and Hermione were sitting, talking with Luna and Ron, Helen smiled. “It's the hands. The only reason he isn't holding hers is because they're both trying not to.”

Keeping her voice low, Petunia nodded in agreement. “Something's up. The twins called me after they got back from the Zoo today. All I could get out of them was that they'd seen their cousin Teddy there before they dissolved into a fit of giggles. Then Dudley got on the line and said that they'd be seeing us tonight. Five minutes later, an invitation arrives by owl.”

“Molly and Arthur don't know anything more than we do, but from the look on Arthur's face, I think he has come to the same conclusion that we have.” Smiling, Helen nodded to Arthur who looked up as they mentioned him and saw him try to cover a very satisfied grin.

Shaking her head, Petunia smiled knowingly at Hermione as she looked down the table. Giving the girl credit for keeping a straight face, Petunia nodded to where Hermione's hand wasn't on the table or in sight. As Hermione's cheeks began to colour a bit, Petunia turned to Fleur, who was on her other side.

“And what does the family Veela think about our host and hostess?” Smiling, Petunia inclined her head towards the end of the table where Luna was telling a story that everyone but Harry was having troubles keeping straight.

“Those two? Pffft. Zey are glowing like a pair of lanterns.” Shaking her head, she turned to her husband. “Beel, Victoire was correct, it has finally happened.”

“Fleur, you promised you'd let them tell the story.” Shaking his head, Bill smiled at his wife before leaning forward to wink at Petunia and Helen. “After making everyone wait this long, the least we can do is play along for a few more minutes to let them announce it themselves.”

Shaking her head, Helen smirked as she lifted her wineglass in a toast to her daughter. Rolling her eyes, Hermione returned the salute with her water goblet as Winky, Kreacher and a third house elf wheeled a pair of dessert carts into the dining room.

Standing, Harry nodded to the assembled group as the three elves began moving around the table, removing plates and replacing them with desserts of various types. Nodding to Hermione, he smiled and took a deep breath.

“Hermione and I would like to say that we appreciate everyone coming on such short notice.” Looking around the room, Harry suddenly realized that everyone was looking at the two of them, as if they knew something was coming. “While this isn't the entire family, by any stretch of the imagination, we're very happy to have as many as we could gather here tonight.”

Clearing her throat a bit and standing beside him, Hermione smiled as Harry threw her a grateful grin. “What Harry's trying to say is that we wanted family to be here tonight when we made an announcement.” Glaring at Ron, who was coughing along with George, she shook her head. “While Harry and I have been entirely sincere over the past fifteen years when we've said that there wasn't anything going on between us, apparently we were a bit mistaken.”

Ignoring Ron's `You think?” Hermione shook her head and started to blush. Looking to Harry for assistance, she sighed when he reached over and grabbed her hand with his.

“Actually, I think I can sum this up so we can get back to the wonderful desserts and you can all start the never-ending round of `we told you so'. Stepping over to Hermione, Harry placed his hand on the small of her back, leaned forward and began to kiss her. A bit tentatively at first, to allow her to control the kiss, it soon became more passionate as Hermione wrapped her arms around him. Finally breaking the kiss, after a few catcalls from George and Ron had Molly threatening to deal with both of them later, he slid his arm around her waist and turned back to face them. “Any questions?”

The room erupted into spontaneous applause, cheers and laughter. As the couple sat down, everyone began talking at once. While the desserts were being served, the story of how they'd finally decided to accept the fact that they actually had been a couple for years was passed around by those who knew the bits and pieces of it.

Helen noticed that Walks With Nargles, the house elf that worked for Luna and Ron, was putting an unfamiliar pastry on a plate for her. Turning to the diminutive elf, she smiled graciously. “This looks delicious; I don't think I've ever seen it before.”

“It's a traditional pastry of the Anishinaabe made from isquotm. Very good luck for occasions such as this, Mistress Helen.”

Taking a small bite, Helen's face lit up in delight. “It's pumpkin, and it's very good.” Looking around and seeing that no one else had a similar piece, she turned back to Walks With Nargles. “Is there more, I'm certain Hermione would adore this.”

Nodding sagely, Walks With Nargles smiled. “It's traditional for the Nookomis to enjoy the first pieces on a night like tonight. Since Master Harry's Miss Lily is gone, you will enjoy the first piece as Nookomis for good luck.”

“Nookomis?” Looking puzzled, Helen turned to Alex. “Are you familiar with that term dear?”

Seeing her husband shake his head, Helen caught Hermione's eye. She excused herself from the conversation Harry and Ron were having and came around the table, with Luna in tow. As the two witches arrived, Hermione noticed the strange dessert on Helen's plate. “That looks good Mum, what's it called?”

“Walks With Nargles here says its isquotm, which turns out to be pumpkin. But she's used a term I didn't recognize and she doesn't seem to be able to translate. Have you heard of the term `Nookomis'?”

Looking at Hermione who was shaking her head, Helen was just taking another bite when Luna smiled knowingly. “Helen, it's the Ojibwa word for `grandmother'. Why do you ask?”

Helen's fork clattered to her plate as Hermione whispered “Oh my.”

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6. Chapter Five – A Night at the (Soap) Opera

Chapter Five - A Night at the (Soap) Opera

“Oh my.”

Helens' fork clattered to her plate as her eyes got wide. Looking up at her daughter, who was staring at Luna in disbelief, she shook her head. “I take it that wasn't one of the announcements you two had planned for tonight?”

Before Hermione could answer her mother, Luna looked down at Helen's plate and then at the house elf. “Walks, I thought we discussed this before you came over. We were going to let Harry and Hermione tell everyone in their own time. They took a dozen years to let everyone know they were a couple, the longest they could have waited for this was nine months.”

“Mistress Luna, you discussed this.” Shaking her head, Walks With Nargles smiled knowingly. “This child and the other, they will need all of the fortune the People can bestow upon them.” Looking up at Hermione, Walks With Nargles dropped into a deep curtsey. “Mistress, as I discussed with Mistress Luna when we agreed on me coming to this land, I would be honored to serve your household until such time as a suitable one to help raise your son can be found.”

The room was totally silent as Hermione stared, first at the house elf curtseying before her and then at Luna. Luna slowly nodded and smiled at her and then inclined her head towards the waiting elf. Suddenly, the room erupted into chaos.

Harry was standing beside his chair on the other side of the table, looking as if every bludger hit he had taken over the years had suddenly caught up with him. Ron was alternating between trying to get some sort of reaction out of Harry and staring at his wife who was standing beside Hermione. Molly Weasley had fainted dead away, Arthur was trying to support her in her chair as Chastity made her way to her side.

Angelina was vainly trying to stop George from standing up and applauding and cheering while Percy seemed helpless to stop his wife Audrey from joining George in their impromptu salute to the moment.

Petunia was staring at Helen in disbelief, while Helen was alternating between staring at their daughter and her husband. Fleur and Bill were grinning broadly and explaining to a gobsmacked Dudley why no one should be surprised.

The only elements of calm in the maelstrom of chaos that was swirling around the dining room were the three house elves, Luna, and Hermione's father Alex. Kreacher and Winky continued to remove dinner servings from the table and replace them with desserts, their only concession to the moment was the fact that several small hand casks of dwarven brandy had appeared on the sideboard with the coffee. Walks With Nargles had stood back up, but was still waiting patiently for an answer to her declaration.

Alex Granger and Luna Weasley both radiated an aura of calm. While Luna's was definitely tinged with humor at the predicament her friends now found themselves in, Alex was almost Zen-like in his focus. Taking several calming breaths, he looked from his daughter to Harry and allowed a ghost of a smile to touch his lips before standing up. Picking up a knife from the table in front of him, he rapped the wine glass in front of him sharply three times, allowing the crystalline chime to hang in the air.

As the room fell silent, he looked around and nodded. “Well, I think that there are a few things that need attended to before we can return to these excellent desserts that Kreacher, Winky, and Walks With Nargles have so graciously provided.” Reaching down he picked up his wine glass and took a brief sip before continuing.

Looking over and seeing that Molly was recovering, Alex nodded to Chastity briefly. “I think that for the sake of everyone, a couple of things need to happen.” Turning to his wife and daughter, he smiled. “Hermione, I think you, your mother, Petunia, and Chastity need to retire to one of the other rooms for a moment and allow Chastity to vette this announcement.” Seeing his daughter turn a bright crimson red, he smiled. “Pumpkin, there's a horse in the corner, we might as well introduce ourselves, so we'll know his or her name.”

Seeing his daughter nod and start to relax, Alex turned towards Arthur. “Arthur, could I impose upon you and Molly to take over and keep things moving along in here. While I can't imagine that there will be a want of conversation, if anything comes up that needs some sort of decision over the next few minutes or so, I know both Harry and Hermione have full faith in your abilities and judgment.” Smiling faintly, he nodded, “And that's in addition to the fact that you're related to almost everyone that will be left in the room.”

“Certainly Alex, but shouldn't that fall to Harry? It is his house, after all.” Chuckling, Arthur nodded graciously as he cast a surreptitious glance towards the young man he had considered to be one of his sons for a very long time.

“Harry and I will `occupied' in the sitting room for a bit." Turning towards Harry, Alex inclined his head and motioned to the door. “Harry, if you would.”

Stepping away from the table, Alex started walking towards the door, without looking to see if Harry was following him. After a split second of pause, during which Harry caught Hermione's eye and smiled at her reassuring look, he followed. As he was leaving the room, Alex smiled as he heard Chastity chivvy his wife, daughter, and Petunia out of the room while Arthur asked Kreacher if it would be too much trouble for him to have one of those cream horns that Luna was so fond of.

Arriving at the open doorway to the sitting room, Alex waited for several seconds for Harry to join him. Allowing the younger man to precede him into the room, Alex wandered over to the mantle over the fireplace and gazed at the collection of mementos that graced the place of honor.

Studying the younger man, a very powerful wizard he reminded himself, Alex saw a young man that was very conflicted. A joy and contentment was evident in his eyes, but there was also a host of doubts and concerns flashing across his face. Having come a long way from the guarded and withdrawn boy he had been, Alex was happy to see that Harry was experiencing and expressing his emotions much more freely these days.

Just as Harry was beginning to speak, Alex held up his hand to stop him. “Harry, I think that it would be better for all concerned if I were to be allowed to say a few things before you begin.”

Seeing the wary look that Harry was flashing him, Alex refrained from smiling at the young man. “Harry, some of what I'm about to say might seem frivolous and unconnected to the situation that you and my daughter find yourselves in, but I'm asking that you do me the courtesy of hearing me out.” Seeing Harry's wary nod, Alex smiled briefly.

“It was Christmas Eve of 1978, and Helen and I were at her parent's house for the Christmas holidays. The two of us had only recently started dating each other exclusively, though we had known each other through six years of university during our undergraduate studies and dental surgery training, and I was desperately eager to make a good impression on her parents.” Seeing a nod of understanding in Harry's eyes, Alex continued.

“Unfortunately, when we walked into the house, Jane took one look at her daughter and loudly proclaimed. `Good Lord, you're expecting!' in front of the assembled family members.” Shaking his head, Alex actually smiled at the shocked look on Harry's face.

“Jane MacDonald was a nurse and also an American. She had met Helen's father during the war as she was serving in a hospital for the RAF while he was recovering from injuries sustained during the early days of the war. Jane's family was from an area of America where the gifts of `sight' and healing ran in families, and apparently Jane had inherited both knacks in full measure. However, even though she had lived in England for almost forty years, she had never lost her American sense of directness.”

Smiling in spite of the situation he found himself in, Harry chuckled and shook his head. “I think I'm beginning to understand why the two of you weren't all that surprised when Minerva showed up at your front door the year Hermione turned eleven.”

“Very true. But that doesn't pertain to the fact I was left standing there with a room full of Helen's relatives, including her father, while Jane grabbed Helen by the hand and left the house to go to the hospital to have a test run to confirm her knowing.” Smiling enigmatically at the younger man, Alex inclined his head to Harry.

“I can imagine that the next hour or so was very difficult, true?” Smiling nervously, Harry started to relax, just a bit.

“Very nervous, especially since, in those days it took two hours for the results to come back.” Shaking his head at the memory of the conversation he'd had with Helen's grandmother during dinner that night, he laughed. “What with travel time and all, it was the longest four hours of my life.” Looking Harry straight in the eye, he added. “Which is why Helen and I celebrated our 27th anniversary this past February and Hermione will celebrate her 27th birthday this September.”

Slowly releasing a breath he hadn't remembered holding, Harry nodded. “I never really gave much thought to that.” Looking up at Hermione's father, Harry smiled. “And I do intend to marry your daughter. If she'll have me, of course.”

Throwing his head back, Alex laughed. When he finally stopped, he smiled apologetically at the look on the younger man's face. “Harry, there's no question that my daughter will marry you, and I never had any doubts that you would be willing and eager to ask her.”

“Then why?” Gesturing around the room, Harry looked puzzled. “Why are we here instead of back in the dining room?”

“A couple of reasons actually. Harry, I needed to get you out of there so you'd have a couple of minutes to process what just occurred without your friends giving you the mickey over it.” Shaking his head, Alex continued. “Both George and Ron are fine men, but neither of them would have stopped teasing you unmercifully at this announcement coming so quickly on the heels of your rather graphic pronouncement of your relationship with my daughter.”

Blushing, Harry hung his head. “I am sorry about that. I was really running out of ways to try to find a way to explain the fact that the two of us had been royal idiots for the past decade or so, and since a picture is worth a thousand words, I thought I'd spare us all a couple of thousand and simply show everyone.”

“Quite alright. I think you made your point very effectively.” Nodding Alex waited for Harry to stop thinking and talk to him.

“Sir?” Seeing the look on Alex's face, Harry smiled apologetically and tried again. “Alex? I hope you and Helen aren't too terribly disappointed in me regarding this. We thought we were being responsible, even though it was our first night together…”

Holding up his hand, Alex shook his head. “Harry, we raised our daughter to be her own woman. And I'll be the first to admit, while both Helen and I took the two of you at your word over the past eight years about the state of your relationship, we both were quite accepting of the fact that two young adults who very obviously loved each other very much were living in one house for several years.” Seeing the blush on Harry's face, Alex grinned. “It seems that we incorrectly reasoned that there might be more to your relationship than you were willing to admit until very recently, but we aren't and weren't dismayed at the thought of the two of you in a physical relationship. I know that this is going to sound a bit strange, but Helen and I have both been proud to consider you a part of the family since we came back from Australia and we've been waiting for the day you moved yourself from son to son-in-law”

Just as he was about to speak, Harry stopped and looked down at the golden medallion that appeared on the back of the watchband he wore. Smiling at the medallion, he looked up at the older man and nodded. “It seems Luna joined the ladies, and our presence has been requested back at dinner.”

As the two of them moved towards the door, to head back down the hall to the dining room, Harry looked at Alex and smiled. “You said there were two reasons?”

“Actually yes. The first one was to get you out of there, so you could collect your thoughts without your friends teasing you too unmercifully.” As they stepped out into the hall, Alex nodded as the two of them set off, side by side.

“And the second?” Harry asked as they paused outside the door.

Nodding, Alex smiled conspiratorially. “If you've been dragged out of the room by the father of the witch you just learned is pregnant, even Ron is going to realize you've probably been through quite enough and give you some peace while you propose to my daughter and finish your dessert.”

-----

As Harry and Hermione's father were heading for the hallway, Chastity looked over at Luna and nodded to her former housemate. “Well ladies? I think we've need a quick trip to the powder room, as they say.” Smiling at the chuckles this elicited from the people sitting around the table, Chastity nodded to her mother-in-law and started heading over to collect Hermione, who was still standing in the same spot she had been in when Walks With Nargles had made her pronouncement.

Taking Hermione by the elbow, Chastity turned her towards the door that led to the upstairs pantry and the steps to the downstairs kitchen. Seeing that Luna was gently guiding a still shell-shocked Helen Granger, Chastity kept her attention on Hermione and Petunia. As they passed through the door, she rolled her eyes as she heard her husband talking with Percy, explaining that he was fairly certain that Alex wasn't going to kill Harry, and any damage he did do, Chastity would be able to put to rights with no problems.

Steering Hermione into the pantry, she quickly conjured a comfortable chair and settled her friend into it. Shaking her head at the expression on Hermione's face, she chuckled. “You two don't do anything by halves, do you?”

Shaking her head, Hermione finally was able to focus. “Chastity, this is ridiculous. Harry and I were very careful last night and this afternoon. And it's much too soon for anyone to be able to know anything.” Blushing at her memories of the past twenty-four hours, she shook her head.

“Hermione, you're muggleborn, so you're just going to have to trust me on this. Even most witches outside the healers and mediwitches forget, but elves always know when there's going to be a birth in the family they're attached to. I daresay that both Kreacher and Winky knew at breakfast this morning, but they were waiting for you two to discover the happy news yourself.” Looking thoughtful, she smiled. “Didn't you think it a bit strange that everyone had a glass of wine with their dinner, but you kept finding sparkling juice and water by your plate?”

“I'm not really much of a drinker, and I thought that Kreacher was just looking out for me with everything that was going on.” Looking a bit alarmed, Hermione looked up at Luna. “How did you know?”

“Honestly Hermione, it's as plain as the love you and Harry have for each other. I could see this coming since our DA days. I was always confused by the fact that it looked as if your second son would be your eldest, but the two of you being godparents to Teddy explains that nicely.” Turning to Petunia, Luna smiled. “I explained to Walks that you'll be filling in for Lily, so she'll have the grandmother's pastry for you when we get back.”

Whatever Petunia was going to say or not say in response was forgotten when Hermione abruptly stood up and began to rant. “Why isn't anyone having a fit over this? I can't believe everyone is so bloody calm. Harry and I finally admit we've been sodding blind for the past decade and we go from best friends to being in a relationship to apparently expectant bloody parents in less than a day and all anyone can prattle on about is pastry?” Looking a bit hysterical, Hermione glanced around the room to find every eye focused on her. She immediately closed her mouth, blushed and fell back into the chair behind her.

“Hermione, I think the `fit' requirement just got filled, so we can now move on to other things.” Luna observed dryly as Hermione buried her face in her hands. Looking over at Helen, who was now shaking her head at her daughter, Luna nodded. “Does she do this often?”

“Only when things are out of her control, which is why she works so hard at controlling everything.” Kneeling down, Helen patted her daughter on the shoulder. “Come on Mi. It's hardly the end of the world.”

Looking over at her mother, Hermione shook her head. “Harry's going to think I did this on purpose to trap him. He's going to feel like I tricked him.”

Blinking in surprise when the four women in the room with her burst into laughter, Hermione shook her head. “It isn't funny. This is going to ruin everything. We didn't plan or even discuss this.”

Kneeling down on the other side, Petunia took Hermione's hand and patted it gently. When the younger woman was focused on her, she smiled reassuringly. “Hermione, my nephew loves you with all his heart, and he has for a very long time. I've been blessed in the fact that my son and the young man that I care for as a son have both found extraordinary women for their lives. That's not to say that the two of you haven't caused me a bit of distress thinking you'd never figure things out, but I can honestly tell you that the look that Harry has on his face when he looks at you is the exact same look that his father had on his face the night he came to my parent's house to ask for permission to marry my sister. And Harry's had that look for a very long time.” Seeing the hopeful look on Hermione's face, Petunia nodded gently.

Quietly clearing her throat, Luna waited until everyone was looking at her before speaking. “Hermione, you've been living in the same house as Harry for eight years now and the two of you have practically living in each other's head for longer than that. Find the connection that the two of you have and find out for yourself what he's thinking, what he's feeling.”

Taking a deep breath, Hermione concentrated on the sense of connection that had existed between the two of them since their fourth year, since that tournament. Closing her eyes, she sat back and relaxed, feeling the presence that was `Harry' in her mind and, now that she could admit it to herself, her soul.

Joy and wonder permeated the link between the two of them. She could feel the apprehension he had regarding her father, but the joy he was feeling matched anything she had ever felt from him. And over and over in his thoughts, almost like a mantra, was one question that kept swirling around. `Will you marry me?' was the thought that occupied his mind.

Opening her eyes, Hermione blinked back a couple of tears and then nodded her head. “Sorry about that, everyone. I was just being a silly goose.” Shaking her head at her own reaction, she smiled apologetically. “Chastity, I think your expertise is required so I can go rescue my husband to be from my father.”

“Hermione, don't you think you should allow the poor boy to propose before you start planning the wedding?” Arching her eyebrow, Helen smiled at her daughter's sudden change in demeanor.

“He's asked, he simply hasn't asked aloud yet.” Hermione replied mysteriously as Luna rolled her eyes and Petunia nodded in agreement.

“Chastity, go ahead and do your witchy thing, so we can get back in there.” Shaking her head, Helen stood up and perched herself on the arm of the chair Hermione was sitting in. Hugging her daughter briefly, she smiled. “Mi, don't worry, your father isn't going to kill him.”

“He doesn't know that, Mum. Whatever Daddy's saying to him is starting to relax him, but he's still very nervous.” Shaking her head, Hermione looked up at Chastity. “What do we need to do?”

“Would you mind calling Winky? I need her to retrieve my bag from the other room and I'd rather not go back through there until we're done.” Looking at Hermione, Chastity waited for the inevitable argument about elves that always occurred when Hermione was within earshot.

Before she could get rolling on another soapbox, Luna shook her head. “Let me.” Smiling sweetly at Hermione, Luna nodded. “Walks? If you have a second.”

A faint `pop' heralded the arrival of the elf. Looking expectantly at Luna, she smiled and nodded. “Are you ladies taking dessert in the pantry?”

“No, even though I imagine we're all a bit peckish, we're going to be going back into the dining room soon.” Smiling broadly, Luna nodded towards Chastity. “Healer Dursely has a bag with the cloak she wore, could you retrieve that for her?”

Muttering about how one could just look at Hermione and see she was pregnant, Walks With Nargles disappeared with a faint `pop', only to reappear less than a minute later with a large black bag with the initials, `CMD' on it. Gravely handing the bag to an amused Chastity, she nodded to Luna, “Will there be anything else?”

Seeing Luna's amused shake of her head, she sighed. Turning to Hermione she nodded. “Eventually, you'll get around to answering my question, but we need to get you on a schedule as soon as possible.”

Before Hermione could answer, the diminutive elf disappeared once again, leaving all five women looking at each other in disbelief. Looking at Luna, Hermione shook her head. “I really don't want to know exactly how long you've known about this, but eventually we're going to talk about this.” Looking over at Chastity, she repeated. “What do I need to do?”

Smiling, Chastity opened her case and withdrew a potion vial. “Other than drink this, not a thing. If there were any doubt as to who the father was going to be, I'd ask that you get me a hair sample from the most likely candidate, but since we're reasonably certain who the culprit is, I think we can dispense with that.”

Cheekily ignoring the glare Hermione was giving her, Chastity winked at Petunia as she was trying desperately not to laugh at Hermione. As Hermione broke the seal on the potion vial and raised the container to her lips, she quipped, “Bottoms up” as Hermione downed silvery contents in one gulp and silently conjured a small pail into her hand.

Seeing the look on Hermione's face, Chastity held the pail up so her friend could grab it. Hurriedly taking it, Hermione quickly emptied the contents of her stomach into the metal container, grimacing as the wave of nausea left her. Looking up and glaring at her friend balefully, Hermione closed her eyes. “You could have warned me it tastes that foul.”

“It only tastes that way because you're pregnant. If you weren't, you'd be talking about cherry cordial or whatever your favorite dessert is.” Smiling, she shrugged. “If I told you what was going to happen, you would have dreaded it and made it that much worse.” Shaking her head, she peered into the pail, noticing its pale blue sheen, before banishing the whole lot into oblivion. “Congratulations, you two need to think about a name for a boy.”

Handing Hermione another potion vial, Chastity chuckled at the look Hermione was giving her. “Relax, that one will take the taste out of your mouth and settle your stomach. I'm not a specialist in this, so I'll make you an appointment with Padma for later in the week. She'll have you setup with all the potions you'll need and schedule a series of appointments through the first of the year.” Stopping in mid thought, both Hermione and Chastity began laughing as they remembered the conversation with the twins earlier in the day.

Seeing the looks on the other's faces, Hermione blushed as she recounted her encounter with the Dursley twins at the zoo earlier. All five women chuckled at the brutal frankness of the girls, and Chastity shook her head when Luna explained that she simply answered the questions the twins had regarding their favorite aunt and uncle in light of what she knew.

“Everyone settled?” Looking around the room, Luna snapped her fingers and her DA galleon appeared from wherever it was that she kept it. Deftly keying in a message, she smiled as she looked up at Hermione. “I let the groom know that he and Alex are needed back in the dining room, so we might was well head back and see what's going to happen next.”

Laughing, Hermione put her hand on Chastity's arm. “Not that there was any question, but what would have happened if we would have included a bit of Harry's hair in the potion since he's definitely the father?”

Smiling impishly, Chastity tried to look innocent, “If he was the father, then he would have had the same reaction you had, regardless of where he was at the time.” Shaking her head, Chastity nodded as Hermione looked scandalized and the others laughed. “One day during my last year of training, one of the instructors began to vomit up shining pink fluid during class.” Seeing the look on everyone's faces, she nodded. “Three times in rapid succession. We later found out that this witch he had been sneaking around with in the class behind ours was expecting triplets.”

As they reached the door back to the dining room, Helen shook her head. “I know it happens, but I can imagine that the administrators at St. Mungo's were less than happy about that.”

Snickering, Chastity nodded. “Not as unhappy as his wife, though.”

All five witches were laughing, with tears streaming down their faces as they returned to the dining room. As fate would have it, they entered the room, just as Harry and Alex walked in through the other door.

The room fell silent again, as Harry and Hermione locked gazes across the room. With the eye contact, Hermione could almost hear Harry's thoughts as they raced around. Harry was still a bit shocked, but he was also almost giddily happy. As the confused jumble of his thoughts washed over her, she could sort out two distinct threads. First and foremost, one question kept being repeated over and over. `Marry me?' was the first thing on his mind. The second was a mild bit of panic as he worried that she would feel trapped in this relationship

Putting aside everything, the shock and surprise, the wonder at how the contraception charms they had used failed, the chagrin at finding out she was expecting Harry's baby in front of most of their closest friends and family minutes after admitting they were together, Hermione focused on Harry's question and knew that there was only one possible answer. It was an answer she had been waiting to give since she was thirteen, but had never allowed herself to consider until today.

Nodding and smiling radiantly, Hermione gazed into Harry's eyes for a second longer before speaking. “Of course I'll marry you,” she answered in a clear strong voice that sparked another explosion of startled questions, a raucous round of applause from Audrey, George, and Ron, and Molly Weasley fainting dead away once again.

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7. Chapter Six - Children's Theatre

Chapter Six - Children's Theatre

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From the editorial page of The Quibbler, 1 May 2006

Looking Forward

By Luna A. Weasley

1 May, 2006

Ottery St. Catchpole

Tomorrow will mark the eighth anniversary of what most call `The Battle of Hogwarts'. Those of us who were there refer to it as `That Night' when we speak of it at all.

As an sometimes contributor to these pages, I realize my readers have come to expect intermittent travelogues as I wander across the wizarding world, seeking to chronicle hidden wonders and document the unknown and wondrous. And with the approach of tomorrow's celebration, I feel I am doing just that once again.

Some say that the Battle of Hogwarts started on the First, when Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley arrived at Hogwarts to make a final stand against Tom Riddle, better known as Lord Voldemort. That is a logical answer, and in a simplistic world, that would be a correct answer. Others say it began on Halloween of 1981 when Riddle murdered Lily and James Potter, the parents of Harry Potter, in Godric's Hollow, and I would be hard pressed to disagree if I didn't know the truth.

The truth is, the Battle started in a quiet way, and wasn't really marked by anyone but the people directly involved. And for the four of them, none of them realized that they were beginning something that would transform the world as they knew it. On the First of September, 1991, somewhere in the south of Scotland, a door opened into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Through that door walked an eleven-year-old student making her first trip to Hogwarts, along with another incoming first year who had misplaced his familiar.

In that compartment were two first year students who had no idea that the lives of everyone in wizarding Britain, perhaps the entire world, hinged on what would happen in the next ninety seconds. In the next minute, the `Golden Trio' and Neville Longbottom met each other, and from a very inauspicious beginning, friendships were forged between Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, and Neville Longbottom that will last a lifetime and led directly to what occurred as the sun rose over Scotland on the 2nd of May, seven short years later.

One of the cardinal rules of journalism is that the reporter should not be part of the story, if at all possible. And while I certainly wasn't there on the day things began, I count myself fortunate to have observed and become friends with these and other extraordinary individuals over the next seven years. My personal relationship with these individuals doesn't hinder my ability to recognize what they have accomplished, but it does test the limits of objectivity from time to time. (Journalistic candor requires me to point out to anyone who hasn't noticed, I am married to Ronald Weasley. If this has come as a surprise to anyone reading this, you might want to switch to a subscription to the Daily Prophet; they seem to have nothing better to do than run salacious articles regarding my marriage and the personal lives of my friends.)

Unfortunately, only in novels and other contrived works do things end neatly when the villain is defeated. Evil continues, life goes on, and those that support the Light must persevere in turn. All of us who survived that terrible period of time have continued, in our own ways, to live up to the examples that Harry and Hermione set before us.

While these two individuals, whom I consider my friends, are very reluctant to live their lives in the public eye, they are realists enough to know that the things that happen in their lives are considered to be of interest to the wizarding public here in Britain and abroad. And I was deeply honored when I was approached to be the one to announce the news regarding the next inevitable step in the chain of events that began fifteen years ago.

Harry and Hermione have announced their engagement and intent to wed before the end of this year during a small dinner party held one week ago at their London residence to assembled family and friends. Hermione, while recognizing that the wedding will be of great interest to all, made it very clear that the ceremony itself will be for friends and family, and that the date and location will be made public when the marriage license is filed with the Ministry, following the ceremony.

The happy couple currently resides in London with their godson, Theodore Remus Lupin, and intends to remain in London for the foreseeable future. When asked about the possibility of additional children, Harry shrugged and said that was a topic for after the first of the year. (Continued on page 17)

Shaking her head, Lavender smiled as she placed the copy of The Quibbler back on the table in the waiting area outside Chastity's office. The fact that the real story regarding Harry and Hermione's relationship was not well known outside the circle of family and friends was amazing, in and of itself. Luna's story did a nice job of laying out the pertinent facts without actually pointing out some of the finer details, which was fine as far as Lavender was concerned.

“The healer will see you now.” Looking up, Lavender smiled at the mediwitch who was exiting Chastity's office. Seeing the glance she was giving Lavender's midnight-blue robes, she nodded cheerily to her.

“Thank you. I really appreciate you working me in at the end of the day like this.” Seeing the shocked look in the mediwitch's eyes, Lavender tried very hard to suppress a grin.

“No problem. You're on the list of people that Healer Dursely has vetted to be worked into the schedule and since you didn't mind taking the end of the day, it was easy.” Relaxing a bit, the mediwitch smiled as she held the door open for Lavender.

Entering into the office, Lavender smiled to see Chastity working behind her desk. The blonde healer's desk was covered with parchments and folders, with a steaming mug of tea perched precariously on an ancient looking tome.

“If Madam Pince or Hermione were to walk in, they'd both have a muggle heart attack to see that.” Indicating the mug of tea, Lavender grinned as she flopped noisily into a chair near the desk. “Thanks for working me in, Chas. I must have picked something up when they sent me down to Benghazi earlier in the week.”

“Irma might have a hippogriff on general principles, but Hermione knows that's the latest edition.” Seeing the skeptical look on her friend's face, she smiled. “Marketing ploy. No one would trust a healer with brand new medical tomes, so they make them look as if they're a couple of centuries old. Instant credibility yet surprisingly up to date.”

“That sounds like a George idea. Pretty darn clever whoever thought of it.” Shaking her head, Lavender grimaced a bit. “This is getting annoying. I lost my lunch when I stopped by de la Cruz's office earlier. She was fixing champurrado and the smell of it had me running in seconds.” Shaking her head, she shrugged. “And you know how I am about chocolate, regardless of how you prepare it.”

Looking thoughtful, Chastity picked up her tea and took a sip before commenting. “And just what did they have you doing down in Benghazi?”

Laughing, Lavender shrugged. “Someone in the Minister's Office thought that we needed to send an Unspeakable down there to impress upon the Pasha that if he didn't sanction the traders who were playing fast and loose with the silphium trade, we would.” Shaking her head, Lavender missed the knowing smile on Chastity's face. “Stupid greedy buggers substituted ferula tingitana in two shipments of potions ingredients last winter. That'll work for muggles and muggleborn, but that's a recipe for a baby-boom in the rest of our population.”

“And just what are your symptoms? Your message was a tad bit vague.” Trying not to look amused, Chastity was moving parchments on her desk around to clear a spot and reached into her healer's kit for a vial with a distinctive silver seal on it.

“You know me, old iron stomach. Parv's mum is convinced I must be a long lost cousin the way I tuck into the food at their house. But since I got back from Benghazi, Italian, Indian, Lebanese, anything like that has just set my stomach on edge.”

Nodding, Chastity looked down at the notes she had taken. “Let's see, basically it's food that's got fennel, anise, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme that are setting you off, correct?” Smiling, Chastity looked up at Lavender as she twirled the potion vial between her fingers.

Nodding, Lavender's eyes got very wide as she noticed the vial that Chastity was holding. “No. No. No. No. You can't be bloody serious.” Closing her eyes, Lavender's complexion went very pale.

“Sirius was Harry's godfather, and that really doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're going to drink this potion for me.” Nodding her head as Lavender's eyes popped open, Chastity hastily conjured a small pail that appeared in the open spot on her desk she had just cleared. “There's a reason those foods set off your gag reflex. Your body knows better than you do and it's not going to allow you to unknowingly ingest anything that could interfere with what's going on.”

“He's so going to kill me.” Shaking her head, Lavender hesitantly put her hand out for the vial that her friend was holding. “The first thing I'm going to do when this is finished is I'm going back down there and hex that smarmy bastard until he can't see straight.”

“Harland loves you, you know that. And he loves Crystal to death, so you know he'll love this one just as much.” Smiling as Lavender closed her eyes as she twisted the sealed potion open, she nodded. “That's my brave Gryffindor; tell yourself that it's going to taste like `Death by Chocolate'.”

“That's so not funny. Anyone ever tell you that you Ravenclaws have a lousy bedside manner?” Shuddering a bit, Lavender put one hand on the pail as she downed the potion. Quickly pulling the metal container to her, she emptied her much abused stomach into the waiting receptacle.

Chuckling, Chastity exchanged the pail for another potion vial. “If you want humor, check with the `Puffs. I'm certain Hannah would be happy to tell you all sorts of humorous anecdotes from her customers regarding the current baby-boom.” Looking down into the pail and smiling at the pink sheen, she nodded as she banished the entire mess. “Crystal is going to have a little sister to dote on. Have her check with Teddy about where he's going for big sib lessons.”

“And that's just the icing on the bloody cake. Not only am I having a second child, but I'm having one at virtually the same time as Hermione `I snagged the Boy Who Lived so the rest of you losers can just eat tripe' Granger. She already hates me, and now she's going to be totally insufferable once they announce everything.”

“Lav, Hermione doesn't even dislike you. She was borderline upset at the Christmas Party, but she pretty much wrote it off when she saw Harry's reaction to the whole thing. Truth be told, she's probably a bit thankful since, from what I gather talking to Ginny, it was that whole incident with you and Padma that started her thinking there might be something more between her and Harry other than undying friendship.”

“Then why has she given me `the look' every time she's been around when Harry and I have been in the same room.” Sitting back in her chair, Lavender closed her eyes in frustration. “I can understand her still being annoyed about Ron, but I never even got a peck on the cheek from Harry.”

“She's just worried that you might be considering joining the ranks of the `Potter Prowl' witches, and then she'd have to hex you, ex-roommate or no.” Snickering at the scandalized look on Lavender's face, Chastity shrugged. “It's not like you've exactly gone out of your way to let people know about Harland. I'd wager that Hermione doesn't know that you're actually quite the faithful little witch, regardless of what you play at in public.”

Growling in frustration, Lavender shook her head. “This is bloody ridiculous. I've got to tell Harland that we're having another baby, thanks to some egregious idiots a thousand miles away. What in the name of Merlin's cauldron am I supposed to do with my life?”

“Do you love him?” Sitting back in her chair, Chastity smiled at the sense of déjà-vu she was experiencing.

“Of course. Regardless of what people think of me, I wouldn't have put myself in a position to have a child with him if I didn't love him, much less stay in this `relationship' for the past eight years.” Relaxing a bit in her chair, Lavender's face broke into a smile as she considered her long-term relationship with her Canadian auror.

Smiling, Chastity conjured a mug and then filled it with tea from the tea service that was sitting on the warming plate on the credenza behind her desk. Levitating it over her friend, she gently nudged Lavender's hand with the mug. Opening her eyes, Lavender took the mug and sipped it cautiously. “Forget what I said about your bedside manner. This is perfect.”

Nodding, Chastity lifted her mug in a salute and took a sip. As she set her mug back on her desk, she sighed. “Does he love you?”

“What do you think? You spent time with us last summer and over the hols.” Smirking, Lavender thought back to the week that she, Crystal, and Harland had spent with Chastity, Dudley, and the twins at Brighton last summer. “Any doubts there?”

“Doesn't matter what I think, Miss `Broke the Shower Rod'. It matters what he thinks, and what you think he thinks.” Shaking her head, Chastity blushed thinking back to Lavender's explanation to the inn manager as to why the shower in her room no longer had a functioning shower curtain.

“If he stuck around for longer than twenty minutes, he's in love with me.” Blushing a bit, Lavender smiled sadly. “I'm not exactly easy to be around, I get that. Harland keeps me grounded; I don't go overboard with him. You weren't in Gryffindor; you might not remember what I was like…”

Laughing, Chastity sat back in her chair and shook her head at her friend. “Please, there wasn't anyone in the entire castle that missed you and `Won-won'.

Blushing, Lavender rolled her eyes and laughed. “Well, it was a hope. It's not like that, this time. I don't feel the need to constantly show that we're together, we simply are.”

“Sort of like Harry and Hermione, no?” Seeing the look of comprehension in her friend's eyes, Chastity nodded encouragingly. “I really don't think you have much of anything to worry about from her. She's not going to be one of those insecure witches who has to know where her wizard is every moment of the day or give him grief about who he's spending his time with because she `knows' beyond a shadow of a doubt how he feels about her. They were always close, this past week it went beyond scary.” Shaking her head, Chastity smiled at the look in Lavender's eyes.

“They were bad in school, and that was when they were just doing the `best friends' routine with sincerity and conviction. After that year the three of them were away, once they stopped pretending to date Ron and Ginny, I don't think there was anyone who believed it.” Smiling wistfully, Lavender nodded as Chastity started laughing.

“Other than them, of course.” Looking down at her appointment book, she tapped the upper corner with her wand and linked her calendar with Padma's. “Padma's got a series of appointments open for Wednesdays from 4:15 to quarter of. Will that work for you?”

Looking thoughtful, the blonde Unspeakable twisted her hair around her finger as she tried to visualize her schedule for the next few months. “That should work for me. You know how it is down in Spook Hall; the concept of a regular timetable for an Unspeakable is something up there with the Philosopher's Stone and Perpetual Motion. Nice to dream about, but the chances of actually achieving any of them are very remote.”

“Excellent, I'll ink you in as a consult from my book; Padma will see the relevant records as soon as she gets back to the hospital on Wednesday morning.” Smiling as she noted the appointment block directly before Lavender's, Chastity composed her face quickly as she looked up from the appointment book. “Make certain you get there a bit early, never hurts in case there's a need to shuttle the appointments around.”

Standing, Lavender brushed a wrinkle from her midnight blue robes with her hand as she gently set the mug on the desk, pointedly avoiding any of the parchments or tomes occupying the flat surface. Shaking her head, she grinned at her friend. “I am grateful, even though this is going to take some getting used to.” Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. “I suppose I'm going to have to plug in that old rotary phone and make a call to Montreal.”

“Montreal? I thought the Canadian Ministry was located in Ottawa, as a counterpart to their muggle government.” Walking around her desk, Chastity joined her friend in heading for the office door.

“They are. And the Quebec Ministre de Magie is in Quebec City. Harland's attached to the Canadian Ministry's liaison office in Montreal. In typical English fashion, the rest of Magical Canada officially ignores Magical Quebec's secession by dealing with `provincial' relations from Montreal, rather than officially acknowledging Quebec City is the actual capital. The Quebecois shrug and have their enclave in Toronto and pretty much never mention Ottawa.”

Seeing the incredulous look on Chastity's face, Lavender chuckled. “If you think that's bad, Nova Scotia, Labrador, and Newfoundland are all three spoiling to split off on the wizarding side from the main part of Canada. Give them ten years and it'll be as confusing as the American Bureaus.”

“Merlin. I thought it was bad enough explaining to the muggle-born Irish why their Ministry is in London and not Dublin, but that would be totally confusing.” Shaking her head, Chastity smiled at her mediwitch as they exited into the outer office. “Karen, we'll be seeing Ms Brown in about three months for a follow-up, but she's basically done with us for the next little while.” Nodding at Karen, Chastity smiled as Lavender gathered herself together. Looking back to her friend, she smiled. “It'll be fine. If you want to pop by the house tonight after your phone call, Dudley and I should be in all night.”

“I might take you up on that. Crystal's staying the night at Shell Cottage with Victoire, so the house will be empty.”

Stepping close, Lavender hugged Chastity as she turned to leave, smiling and nodding at the mediwitch who was updating parchments. As the closed the door of the waiting area behind her, Karen looked up from her work and caught Chastity's eye. “Well, she certainly wasn't what I was expecting, from either an Unspeakable or the infamous Lavender Brown.”

“Both Lavender and Parvati pretty much destroy the typical concept of what an Unspeakable is. Can you imagine Healer Patil's sister as one of the typical Unspeakables?” Shaking her head, Chastity chuckled at the look on Karen's face.

“True, Parvati's been around enough that I forget she's one of that lot.” Smiling down at the parchment work on her desk, she sighed. “And I suppose she'll be seeing a bit of Healer Patil over the next eight months or so.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Chastity smiled wickedly as her mediwitch eyed her suspiciously. “Chastity, I've seen that look before.”

“Please, I'm just going to call a colleague and suggest she manipulate her schedule a bit.” Seeing the confused look on Karen's face, Chastity chuckled. “I set Lavender up with a series of appointments with Padma. Just as luck would have it, the witch right before her is the soon to be Mrs. Potter.”

“Really now, I thought that Luna's article said that children were a topic for after the first of the year?” Arching an eyebrow, Karen began to chuckle. “Well, if she's on the same timetable as Ms Brown, I suppose that's `technically' accurate.”

“Luna's a very good friend and for all her apparent out of touch act, she's very knowledgeable about how things work and very loyal to her friends.”

“Why in the name of Merlin's Exploding Snap deck would you want to put those two together? Even I've heard about what happened at the Ministry Christmas Party.” Shaking her head, Karen eyed her boss skeptically. “Are you really aiming for bloodshed in the waiting room?”

“Not at all. If Hermione were still annoyed with anyone, it's Padma she should be mad at. Padma's the one who actually kissed Harry that night. Lavender was a not so innocent bystander who set the whole thing in motion, and Hermione's not really annoyed with her. But since Lavender doesn't know that...” Trailing off, Chastity nodded as Karen began to shake her head.

“You are so wicked. Lavender's going to figure this out in about two seconds once she thinks about it.” Seeing the satisfied smirk on Chastity's face, Karen began to laugh. “But that will be after she and Hermione have a heartfelt talk.”

“I have no idea what you're going on about.” Turning and going back into her office, Chastity chuckled as she sat behind her desk and took out her wand.

Making a backhanded motion towards the floo in her office, she smiled as the flames sprung up. Casting a pinch of floo powder into the flames, she nodded as the flames turned green. Speaking clearly, she smiled as she called out “Mongoose One”

Seeing her associate's face in the green flames, she smiled. “Wotcher Padma. I just sent a consult your way. “

Looking away for a second, Padma Patil glanced down at her appointment book. Shaking her head, she looked back. “Chastity, I'm not certain which I find more interesting. Lavender being on my schedule or who you put her after.”

Sitting back and taking a drink of her tea, Chastity nodded. “True, and here's what I'd like for you to do Wednesday.” Smiling at her old housemate, the blonde healer outlined her plan as Padma broke out in a grin.

Interlude - Memento Magus

On the first anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, a quiet tradition began in the hour before dawn. Not part of the much larger and official remembrance that would begin at noon, almost eight hours later, this memorial was born from the hearts of those who had survived that night, as they were drawn together without planning or discussion by the common need to return to where it had all ended as the sun rose over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry one year before.

On Halloween of 1998, a Memorial Garden was established on the grounds of Hogwarts to provide a place to commemorate those individuals who had sacrificed their lives during that night. The brainchild of Hermione Granger and Minerva McGonagall, the Memorial Garden provided a place where anyone could come and pay their respects or simply remember the sacrifices that had led to the stopping of Tom Riddle, known as Lord Voldemort.

Among the many enchantments going into the construction of the memorial, was one that was not well publicized. While all of the protections and wards protecting the school were reinstituted and strengthened in the days and weeks following the battle, a select group of individuals, survivors of that night and members of Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix all, were exempted from the normal restrictions on apparition into and out of the school's grounds. Able to come and go directly to and from the Memorial, the arrival and/or departure of these individuals were noted by the Headmistress, but never hindered, regardless of the day or hour.

That first year, Harry and Hermione had arrived within seconds of each other, Hermione shaking her head in exasperation and carrying their godson as she arrived moments after realizing that Harry wasn't in their home at Grimmauld Place. Kreacher, had arrived next, and his departure from the house had wakened Ron who arrived ten minutes later.

Ron's arrival had coincided with Luna's walking out of the woods to join the impromptu gathering near the basalt plinth that was set just outside the entrance into the area of the grounds set aside to commemorate those who gave their lives that dreadful May morning. Fifty-five witches and wizards, along with fourteen houselves, were memorialized within the low stone walls of the Memory Gardens. Ginny's arrival, accompanied by Headmistress McGonagall and Professors Flitwick, Sprout, Slughorn, and Bill Weasley led a small contingent of students who were up before the dawn down from the castle.

Neville Longbottom, Madam Rosemerta, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Aberforth Dumbledore led a small party of walkers from the village of Hogsmeade that wound their way up from the gate to the village.

That first year, no words were spoken, for none were needed. Enough would be said, later in the morning, during the official memorial for the Battle of Hogwarts. Those survivors who had been present that awful morning were there to remember and reflect; they quietly walked among the marble markers that memorialized their comrades.

Once again, for the eighth time, the survivors gathered silently in the predawn chill. Some lingered near certain markers, others wandered around the gardens that surrounded the memorials for those who had died. As had become a tradition, Harry and Hermione arrived first, this time together with their godson, and were standing silently before the marker memorializing Remus and Tonks Lupin. Of the fifty-five witches and wizards who died that dreadful night, only one was interred within the memorial itself. The tomb of Severus Snape was located in one corner of memorial, the rest of the markers simply commemorated the sacrifice made and indicated where the fallen defender was laid to rest.

As the sky lightened and the dawn approached, Harry and Hermione drew near to the spot where their old potions professor was interred. Silently observing the tomb, their fingers intertwined, they both kept one hand on the shoulder of their godson as they came to pay respects to a man whom neither of them liked while he lived, but they could respect the bravery and sacrifices that he had made during his life.

Slowly making their way to the plinth that marked the entrance to the memorial, the silent trio waited as more and more of those gathered joined them. The simple basalt marker, which appeared to be the base of a statue or column that had been sheared off, was actually taken from near the front doors of the castle, an ornate column that had been damaged during the fighting that night by one of the giants that had come to the castle at Tom Riddle's behest.

Resting upon the rough hewn upper surface were several items that had been imbedded into the plinth's rough upper surface in a manner reminiscent of the legendary sword in the stone. The broken pieces of a yew wand were thrust into the stone, along with the broken fragments of a memory sphere from the Hall of Prophecies and the skull of a large serpent. A simple bronze plaque on the marble base read `Memento magus, quod cinis es, et in cinerem reverteris'. *

As the sun began to rise above the horizon, Harry and Hermione raised their wands in the air and sent a stream of gold and red sparks skywards. The rest of the assembled crowd followed suit, with streams of sparks in their respective house colors accompanying the rising sun. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were well represented, but a few brave showers of green and silver defiantly proclaimed those Slytherins who had come to mark the defeat of Tom Riddle, one of their own. A solitary stream of blue and silver sparks marked Fleur Weasley's presence and her Beauxbatons heritage.

As the sunlight streamed over the plinth and the assembled attendees, the small crowd began to disperse. In twos and threes, they walked to the edge of the gardens and apparated away, or exited the area to return to the school itself or the village, until only Harry, Hermione, and Teddy were left. Nodding to each other, they gently squeezed each other's hand as they smiled sadly. Taking one last glance at the inscription upon the plinth, they nodded in satisfaction and stepped back. Waiting until Teddy had firmly wrapped his arm around Harry's the pair silently apparated away, leaving the joyous sounds of a spring morning in Scotland in their wake.

A/N - `Remember Wizard, from dust you came and from dust you will return.'

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8. Chapter Seven - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Hea

Chapter Seven - A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Healer's

“Are you certain?”

Shaking her head in exasperation, Hermione gave her mother `the look' that usually sent lesser mortals running in fear for their very lives. While professing to not know a thing about what Ron and Harry had always called `The Death Stare', it was something she had carefully cultivated over the years. Unfortunately a combination of genetics and the fact that Helen Granger had not only given birth to her but had changed her nappies and watched her grow up from precocious toddler to young womanhood had granted her a galling immunity to Hermione's usual weapon of choice.

“Mum, I'm certain Harry and I are getting married. Other than that, this whole thing is very wooly and not coming together at all. When I throw out the best idea that the two of us have come up with to date, I'm looking for a bit of discussion on it, not a question that indicates you think I've taken leave of my senses.”

“The entire attempt to plan the `Wedding of the Century' in secret so that no one knows it's going to occur until less than an hour before is just a recipe for disaster.” Smiling affectionately at her daughter, Helen chuckled. “And I can't believe that the best idea the pair of you have come up with is Midsummer's at Karnak.” Shaking her head, Helen chuckled. “Was Trafalgar booked for the next bank holiday?”

“Be serious Mum. We thought that midnight down at Carnac might be a bit romantic, and there shouldn't be any tourists there. Harry doesn't want to wait very long; he's worried I'll look `less than bridal' if we go much past the end of June.” Seeing the skeptical look on her mother's face, Hermione shrugged. “He's got this notion that I should have a big wedding with a formal gown and everything because of those stories Daddy told him about when I was a little girl. He's afraid I'll feel cheated out of my big day.”

“Hermione Jane, if you ever let that boy go, I'm personally going to drag you back here to St. Mungo's and have you committed. While that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, did you explain to him that was when you were four? And that you wrote an essay when Miss Kelson got married entitled `Weddings, the Perpetual Fraud' while you were in primary school?” Chuckling, Helen remembered a very interesting parent teacher conference with Hermione's teacher and the Headmistress after Hermione had lost all semblance of patience with the fact that the three months before the her teacher's wedding had seen innumerable hours of classroom time devoted to the intricacies of wedding planning.

“Well, no. He's so excited about this, and Petunia gets all misty every time she sees me, I haven't the heart to tell either of them.” Blushing, Hermione shook her head in exasperation. “But we need to think of something quickly or it's not going to matter, other than seeing if the Germans want to rent out one of those old Zeppelin hangers down in Frankfurt.”

Chuckling, Helen nodded to one of the green robed healers who passed them in the hall as they made their way to Hermione's appointment. “I sincerely doubt it will be that bad, Mi. Even after I started to show with you, I never approached the stage where your father was tempted to hire a cart to haul me around. And that was with cravings for every sweet and pastry I could find.”

“Mum, can I ask you a question?” Looking unusually hesitant, Hermione began to blush as she looked around to see if anyone was paying them any attention.

“Mi, you know you can talk to us about anything. I realize that your father and I have a tendency to tease you and Harry unmercifully at times.” Nodding at the look on her daughter's face as they entered into the waiting area, Helen tried to keep from smiling too much. “But you've always known you could talk to us about anything.” Chuckling, Helen shook her head. “Though it did take your poor father almost six months to recover from the fact you initiated `The Talk' right after your eighth birthday.”

Looking around in a panic, Hermione nodded hurriedly to the mediwitch sitting at the desk as she grabbed her mother's arm and steered her towards a remote corner of the empty waiting area. “Well, yes. About that.” Seeing the skeptical look on Helen's face, she blushed again. “One thing it didn't occur to me to ask then, or since for that matter, was about things going on during pregnancy.” Looking thoroughly embarrassed she added in a whisper, “Or not going on.”

“Mi, are you telling me that things have come to a halt there at Grimmauld Place?” Shaking her head at the blush on Hermione's cheeks, Helen tried very valiantly not to laugh at her daughter's discomfort.

“No, but Harry keeps asking if it's all right, if he's hurting me or the baby.” Looking up at her mother, she shrugged. “Frankly it's starting to drive me mental. I wish he'd just trust me to tell him and just do what he does...” Trailing off in embarrassment, Hermione looked away.

“Mi, just talk to him about it.” As her daughter looked up at her, she added. “Outside the bedroom. The physical part of your relationship is very new to both of you, and you won't be pregnant forever.” Smirking, Helen couldn't help adding, “That is, if you can remember to use the charms or potions once your son is born.”

Shaking her head, Hermione glared at the mother. “Pot? Kettle?” Looking over to where the mediwitch was trying discretely to get her attention, she sighed. “It looks as if it's time for me to head in to see Padma. Are you certain you'll be fine out here?”

Walking with her daughter over to the desk where the mediwitch was located, Helen nodded. “I'll be just fine out here.” Looking down at one of the end tables, she smirked as she picked up the latest copy of `Witch Weekly' that had been released before the news of Harry and Hermione's engagement had been made public. Tapping a finger on the headline `Five Foolproof Ways to be Noticed by Harry Potter' she shrugged. “It should be entertaining, if nothing else.”

Twenty minutes later, Helen was chuckling over Pansy Parkinson's assertions regarding the best way to garner the attention of the `Wizard Who Won', citing her `personal' experiences and observations while at Hogwarts. Shaking her head over the author's carefully crafted innuendos that, probably, just skirted the border of actionable, she was interrupted by an inelegant snort.

“As if Harry would have given that pug the time of day, much less anything else.”

Looking up, Helen smiled at the blonde witch standing nearby in midnight blue robes. Looking vaguely familiar, the name came to her as she remembered her daughter's amused reaction after the last Ministry Christmas party. “Hello, Lavender. It's been quite a while.”

Nodding nervously, Lavender Brown looked a bit perplexed. “Mrs. Granger, I'm surprised to see you here. Do you have an appointment with Padma?” As Helen began to shake her head, Lavender's eyes began to widen.

“It's Helen, dear. And I was out looking at fabric with Hermione, so I tagged along to wait on her while she was in with Padma for her appointment.” Smiling kindly at the look of consternation on the younger woman's face, Helen tried to appear reassuring. “I'm certain Hermione will be very happy to see you when she comes out.”

Shaking her head, Lavender rolled her eyes. “I'm so going to kill Chastity if I survive this.” Seeing the perplexed look on Helen's face, she smiled ruefully. “Chastity `scheduled' my appointments so that I would follow Hermione's.” Sighing, she closed her eyes. “Time to pay the piper, I suppose.”

Chuckling, Helen nodded. “Would it help if I opined that Hermione isn't mad at you, that she never really was?” Seeing Lavender's eyes pop open, her next remark was cut off by the inner office door opening and Padma entering the waiting area with Hermione in tow.

“Helen, I have to run these samples down the hall, why don't you join me, I can introduce you to that tooth healer that Chastity said you were interested in meeting.” Smiling impishly, Padma nodded to Lavender as she headed towards the door. “Lav, I'll be back in a few. As soon as I finish up with Hermione here, we can get started with your workup.”

Pausing in the doorway as Helen joined her, Padma smiled at her two friends standing there awkwardly looking at each other. Shaking her head, she nodded to Helen before she turned back to them. “For Merlin's sake, I'm the one who kissed him. Why don't the two of you plot some horrible revenge on me while I'm gone and then prank me horribly when we get back.”

Both Hermione and Lavender stared at each other in disbelief as Helen and Padma left the waiting room, laughing merrily. Watching each other warily, Lavender nervously twirled her curls around her finger while Hermione bit her lower lip. Finally, shaking her head, Lavender smiled guiltily and nodded. “I was totally out of line that night, but I was very frustrated with my personal situation, a bit tight on that eggnog, and totally annoyed with you.”

Looking curious, Hermione indicated a pair of chairs near the front of the waiting area. As they sat, she smiled. “Annoyed at me? What did I do?” Shaking her head, she laughed. “Or do I want to know?”

“Truth be told, you were talking to Minerva and you'd just done your `Harry's a big boy and free to see whomever he wants' line for the thousandth time so I wanted to see if it was really true.” Blushing, Lavender closed her eyes. “I know it was childish, but here you had a wizard who worshiped the ground you walked on and I couldn't even get mine on the same side of the Atlantic for more than a weekend a month…” Trailing off, Lavender looked up to see Hermione smiling sadly at her.

“How is Harland?” Seeing the shocked look on Lavender's face, Hermione shrugged. “Chastity calls it SNN, the Sprog News Network.” Smiling, Hermione nodded as Lavender's face went from shocked to amazed to a Weasley class blush. “Honestly, think about it. Crystal, Teddy, and Victoire are as thick as thieves. Give the Dursely twins another couple of years and there won't be a secret in wizarding Britain.”

“He's fine. A bit shell-shocked, but fine.” Seeing the raised eyebrow from Hermione, Lavender acknowledged the unasked question with a nod. “Let's just say I didn't just drop by to catch up with Padma. Since I haven't told my in-house correspondent yet, we've decided that careers are way over rated, so we're going to get married before the end of the summer.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Hermione smiled as her mind raced. “Here or in Canada?”

“The wedding or afterwards?” Seeing the look on her old roommate's face, she nodded. “Technically neither for the wedding. For afterwards, we're going to try to stay here. He's got three months vacation accrued, so he's going to take it and told his boss they needed to work something out by the time he got back or he wouldn't.”

Chuckling, Hermione nodded thoughtfully. “I think I like him already. Is he thinking Embassy work?”

“If not that, then I'm going to scout around and see if I can get someone in our Ministry to hire him. Rumor has it that I might have some friends around this place that would be willing to help out, if for no other reason than to see me safely married and leaving the reportedly available wizards alone.”

“Thank you.” Hermione sat there quietly, looking at her hands folded in her lap.

“For?” Smiling, Lavender chuckled at the look on her old friend's face.

“When I saw that ridiculous mistletoe attached to Harry's belt buckle, the first thought I had was `No one's going to kiss my Harry under the mistletoe but me.'.” Blushing furiously, she looked up to see the knowing smile on Lavender's face. “Once I got over that mental bludger, you announced that Harry would have to be properly kissed to make it go away. I was just ready to step up when Luna kissed him on the cheek. When nothing happened, I was going to say something when Padma stepped in and kissed him `properly'.”

“Padma was shocked, as soon as she finished, he turns to you and asks you to dance.” Shaking her head, Lavender chuckled. “What she didn't see, was as soon as his hand touched yours, the mistletoe disappeared like the morning dew.”

“I did.” Quietly, Hermione nodded and smiled. “And that's when I realized that we'd been lying to each other and everyone else for years now.”

“Do tell. So why wait until recently to do anything about it?” Intrigued, Lavender turned in her chair and tucked one leg up under her as she smiled.

“It was awkward. For the first time since we were eleven, it was awkward being around Harry.” Shaking her head, she blushed as Lavender chuckled. “I honestly couldn't see how I could start the conversation, we'd both done the `we're just friends' speech so many times, we probably could start in our sleep.” Taking a deep breath, Hermione smiled sheepishly. “I was running out of ideas, I was almost to the point of asking my mother for help when I had lunch with Ginny a few weeks ago after she got back from Canada. Ginny started doing her `I'm worried about Harry' routine, and I knew that something was up, and that I had the perfect way to broach the subject.”

“If you couldn't ask the question, you could let Ginny do it by proxy.” Smiling knowingly, Lavender nodded. “I hear that you threatened him with an out of control, sexually frustrated Lavender Brown with Molly as matchmaker.”

“It wasn't exactly like that.” Looking away, Hermione blushed a bit as Lavender waited patiently. “It was more that Harry's still a bit leery of you from our days in school. He still has vivid memories of Lav-lav and Won-won.”

“Ouch. I suppose that wasn't one of my better moments.” Looking up at Hermione, Lavender blushed. “I don't think we ever really talked about that, did we?”

Chuckling, Hermione shook her head. “I don't suppose we ever did. Truth be told, I'm not certain whether or not I was mad or just embarrassed about the entire thing. I should have realized something was wrong when I was more upset about Harry snogging Ginny than I was about you and Ron exchanging tonsils on an hourly basis.”

“Hey, we weren't quite that bad.” Sitting there under Hermione's unwavering stare, Lavender blushed. “Well, maybe we were, but it was a crazy time.” Shaking her head, Lavender nodded towards her old dormmate. “Trust me enough to invite me to your wedding?”

Laughing, Hermione nodded her head. “I would be honored if you'd come, and bring the mysterious Harland if he's around.” Looking thoughtful, Hermione leaned forward. “You said `technically' not in England or Canada for the wedding?”

“We decided to go back to the scene of the crime, so to speak.” Seeing the look on Hermione's face, Lavender chuckled. “We met on Vannin; I was doing a research project for my graduate studies in divination. I was talking with one of the ghosts at Peel Castle when this idiot tourist starts getting himself mugged by some Death Eater wannabe. I went to his aid, and some git with a camera comes up and starts interfering. I told him to back off, I had everything under control and I sent a patronus to the local guarda station for someone to take the mugger off my hands.”

“And?” Thoroughly amused, Hermione leaned back in her chair as Lavender warmed to her story.

“The git pulls out some sort of strange credentials and starts acting as if he's an auror.” Shaking her head, Lavender chuckled. “I promptly informed him that Dumbledore's Army outranked any sketchy bunch of outsiders. Old Quirk shows up about then and this bloke starts ranting how some `schoolgirl chit of a civilian' was interfering with him performing his official duties.”

“Really now?” Arching her eyebrow, Hermione nodded thoughtfully. “I'm very surprised he survived long enough for anything to develop between the two of you. Or was this a hospital recovery romance?”

Seeing the dreamy look in Lavender's eyes, Hermione chuckled. “Forget I mentioned that. Though I will make a note you seem to have a soft spot for those ghastly hospital gowns they make you wear.”

“It turns out that the Canadians had been tracking this idiot for about six months, and when he went overseas, one of their aurors followed along. He finally sees something that he can arrest the guy for, and I step in and bounce the Death Eater off one of the castle walls and have him trussed up like a Christmas haggis before you can say `probable cause'.” Chuckling at the memory, Lavender smiled as she remembered the Canadian auror's annoyance when his operation disappeared in front of his eyes. “Things got even better when Quirk played the sovereignty card and pointed out that the Canadians had never notified the local government about his arrival. When Harland mentioned that they had notified London, I thought Quirk was going to never stop laughing.”

Seeing the confused look on Hermione's face, Lavender smirked. “Local politics. On the muggle side of things, The Isle of Mann is a self governing Crown dependency, which means they look to the Queen as sovereign, she's the Lord of Mann, but they aren't part of the United Kingdom. On the wizarding side, it seems that no one consulted Douglas when the Ministry was formed, so they have an official point of contact for magical matters, but they're very insistent that their local Guarda be notified for things like this. All in all, it was a very bad afternoon for one Harland Mackenzie, Canadian auror.”

“You're not serious? You had him arrested?” Shaking, Hermione started laughing at the mental image.

“Detained is more the phrase they use. I `suggested' to Quirk that he detain the irate young man until his situation could be clarified.” Smirking, Lavender breathed on her nails and buffed them on her Unspeakable robes.

“And just how did you do that? This was back when you were a poor student studying divination, not an Unspeakable.” Looking more than a bit curious, Hermione smiled and wondered what else she had missed, falling out of close contact with Lavender after graduation.

“Ah, but I was a poor divination student who was a member of Dumbledore's Army, a `hero' of the Battle of Hogwarts, and an islander because my mother left Douglas to study at Hogwarts where she married a Scots laddie named Brown. Quirk's youngest daughter was a Puff when my mum was in Ravenclaw and my da was in Gryffindor.” Smiling at the slightly shocked look on her friend's face, Lavender nodded. “My mum was a Ravenclaw. Never know it to look at her airhead daughter, I know.”

“Air heads aren't selected as Unspeakables, Lav.” Shaking her head, Hermione suddenly looked a bit serious. “Why?”

“The act?” Sitting and looking serious for a second, Lavender looked around the room. Seeing that they were alone, she made a curious gesture with her off hand that Hermione recognized as the wand movement for a very advanced spell that revealed listening and other spells. Nodding at Lavender, Hermione smiled as the blonde witch blushed faintly.

“Rumor has it you would know that one. Anyway, part of it is that I really don't like being serious if I really don't have to be. I'm damned good at my job, and all of the Unspeakables are a bit unstable, Parv and I are just a bit more flamboyant about it than most.” Smiling wickedly, she leaned back in the chair and preened, fluffing her blonde curls in a manner reminiscent of a muggle model. “Besides, if people aren't inclined to take me seriously, then it's just that much sweeter when I bust their illusions along with their arse when it comes time to take them down.”

“You're a wicked, wicked witch.” Nodding conspiratorially, Hermione chuckled. “How long did you let Auror Mackenzie cool his heels in durance vile?”

“It took me about an hour to process the nimrod I'd taken down and check Harland's bona fides with the Canadian liaison in Edinburgh. Once I was certain he was who he said he was, I trotted myself down to the lockup and sprung him just in time for dinner.” Seeing the shocked look on Hermione's face, she nodded. “And the rest, as they say, is history.”

Before Hermione could respond, both witches were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing from the door into the hallway. Looking up, they could see Padma, smirking and leaning against the open door frame.

“Everything satisfactory ladies?” Chuckling at the two witches, Padma Patil shook her head and brushed a wrinkle from her green healer's robes. “Hermione, I left Helen down in Prudence's office, talking with her and Chastity.”

Looking at Lavender, Hermione winked and shook her head. “I don't think satisfactory is the word. She did steal a kiss from Harry.”

“A kiss, that if anyone should have gotten that night, it should have been me.” Shaking her head, Lavender nodded slightly. “One”

“What are you two mental witches planning?” Starting to look worried, Padma stood up and watched both the former Gryffindors with a look of concern.

“Two” Hermione smiled broadly, looked at Padma and smirked.

“I can't believe you're both still angry.”

“Oh, we're not angry.” Waiting for Padma to relax a bit, Lavender smiled and said “Three.”

On three, both of the witches cast the same wandless spell. “Avis” rang out in the waiting room in unison, though Hermione's version was followed by `corvus' while Lavender finished her spell with `falco'.

A trio of merlin hawks streamed towards Padma, as a pair of ravens to rival the ones in residence at the Tower of London, but very airworthy, took up the chase. The dark-haired healer took one look at the winged avengers and bolted up the hallway, yelling for assistance and rescue.

Looking at Lavender with a raised eyebrow, Hermione snickered. “Raptors?”

“Merlins.” Shrugging, Lavender giggled mischievously. “Ravens?”

“Symbolism. Huginn and Muninn represent `thought' and `memory'. Maybe next time she'll remember to think before poaching a kiss.”

Standing, Hermione reached out a hand and helped Lavender from her chair. “Now, everything is satisfactory. What say we retire to the Cauldron and have a couple of mugs of pumpkin juice?” Listening to the cries of distress and chaos from the hallway, Hermione smiled. “My treat.”

Linking her arm through Hermione's, Lavender nodded enthusiastically. “While mine won't actually hurt her, I do think my appointment for today is finished.” As the two witches walked into Padma's office to use her floo, Lavender chuckled. “What about Helen?”

“I'll send her a patronus from the bar; she has floo powder in her purse so she can meet us. And I insist on buying because you're solved a major problem regarding the wedding.”

“Do tell?” Blowing on her nails again and buffing them cheekily on her robes, she smiled as Hermione threw floo powder into the office floo. “And just how did I manage to do that?”

Calling out “the Leaky Cauldron” in a clear voice, Hermione waited until the green flames resolved into a portal to bar. “Easy, we're going to do that same thing you and Horace are going to do.”

“You're getting married at Peel Castle?” Shaking her head, Lavender shrugged as they stepped into the flames.”

As they arrived in the common room of the Cauldron, both regain their balance as they made their way to the bar. Shaking her head, Hermione smiled mysteriously and placed a couple of coins on the bar, nodding to Hannah Longbottom and holding up two fingers. “No, we're going to back to the beginning, just like you and Harland.”

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9. Chapter Eight - (Almost) Murder on the Hogwarts Express

Chapter Eight - (Almost) Murder on the Hogwarts Express

16 June, 2006 7:30 a.m., GDT

The third Friday in June was promising to be a wonderful late spring/early summer day. The sun was bright, but the forecaster on the BBC was predicting `pleasantly warm' temperatures, which were expected to continue through tomorrow for the Trooping of the Colours for the Queen's Birthday. All across the British Isles, and a few other places better left unmentioned, medallions belonging to select members of the alumni chapter of Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix all registered the same message. “It's Hermione's Skiving Day! We're skiving off and meeting the train at fourteen to wish Minerva a Happy St. Swithin's Day.” No explanation, no elaboration.

Sitting on the foot of their bed, Luna Weasley smiled as she read the message on her transfigured DA galleon. Stretching lazily in the warm sunlight that was streaming through the open windows into the bedroom she shared with her husband, Luna smirked as she wandlessly flipped the covers from her sleeping husband. As he started to waken, she slowly moved up the bed and straddled him, smiling seductively.

Opening his eyes, Ron smiled as he saw his wife, gloriously outlined in the morning sunlight, totally starkers. “Isn't it time for me to get ready for work?”

Shaking her head, Luna smiled and leaned forward, kissing her husband passionately while her silver blonde hair framed their faces. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she smiled. “Today's Hermione's skiving day. We've got about four hours before we need to get ready.”

Looking puzzled for a moment, Ron's face lit up as he realized what was happening. “Four hours, eh?” Smiling, he reached over to the bedside table for his wand when Luna grabbed his hand and stopped him.

Shaking her head, she leaned over and kissed him again. “You've got four hours to make certain I'm not the only witch in the wedding party who isn't preggers.” Smirking at the look on his face, she shrugged. “Cassandra's going to have to keep an eye on James, think of how much trouble Harry and Hermione's son is going to get into without someone sensible to watch out for him. Not to mention her cousins Fred and Colin.”

“Cassandra? Fred and Colin?” Reaching up and caressing his wife's back, Ron quirked an eyebrow at her.

“2018 is going to see a very fine group of first years, including our daughter and Ginny's sons; they simply don't know it yet.” Smiling down at him, she began to gently caress his chest as she moved back and forth, capturing his full attention. “Why don't we talk about this later, when we've got nine months to get used to the idea?”

-----

It was quarter of the hour, and Platform 9 and 3/4s was packed. Along with the usual family and friends there to welcome back the returning student body, there were an inordinate number of people with no returning students to meet. A curious mixture of Ministry personnel and private persons, they all had one thing in common, a close relationship with Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, was trying to unobtrusively blend into the crowd on the platform without a great deal of success. Less ostentatious and enamored of his position than most of his predecessors, Kingsley had successfully achieved a relative degree of anonymity until recently. Recently, however, it seemed as if his comings and goings were of the greatest interest to everyone, even more so than his position as Minister of Magic would warrant.

“Mr. Minister?”

Shaking his head, Kingsley looked out of the corner of his eye at his assistant, Percy Weasley. As he started to answer, the tall blonde beside him smacked Percy on the back of his head and started to chuckle. “Percy, are we at work at the moment?”

Rubbing the back of his head, Percy glared at his wife. “Audrey, of course not.”

“Then why in Merlin's name are you bugging the man? Do you really want me to tell Hermione you're violating the rules on her skiving day?” Laughing, Audrey was watching her boss trying not to smile as she berated her loveable but a bit too tightly wound husband. “I'm an auror; I can haul you in and be back in time to catch the train.”

“There are rules?” Looking skeptical, Percy tried to ignore the chuckles coming from his family as he tried to decipher, not for the first time, whether or not his wife was putting him on.

“Of course there are rules. Lavender and Luna organized this thing. If Hermione's going to have her name associated with a skiving day, there has to be rules.” Shaking her head, Audrey winked at Kingsley. “Isn't that right, Coronet?”

“Whatever you say, Pocahontas.” Smiling, Kingsley kept looking straight ahead, ignoring the death stare from the auror on his right.

“Percy dear, did you know that the mongoose is a distant relative of the mink?” Smiling slightly in return, Audrey deadpanned, launching the verbal quaffle back to her boss across her husband's head.

“Actually, the mongoose is closer to the lynx than it is to the mink.” Nodding, Kingsley shrugged. “Wouldn't you say they were well suited to each other, Percy?”

“The signboard says that the train is on time. They should be here in a few minutes.” Eager to avoid getting caught as a verbal quaffle between his boss and his wife in their ongoing banter over Kingsley's not quite secret relationship with Padma Patil, Percy reverted to the obvious, hoping the both of them would tire of putting him in the middle of the on-going contest of wills between the Minister of Magic and the head of his security detail. “Hopefully no one will wonder why people are getting on the train instead of exiting.”

“Honestly Percy. Most of these people haven't seen their children since the Christmas hols. You could have a herd of hippogriffs tap-dance to `God Save the Queen' and they wouldn't notice.” Shaking her head, Audrey sighed at Percy's attempt to derail her fun with her boss.

“A congregation.” Kingsley abstractly noted as his face lit up when he spied a familiar head of long, black hair working its way towards him through the crowd.

“Beg pardon?” Looking around, trying to find out what her boss was going on about, Audrey didn't fail to notice the witch in the healer's robes zeroing in on her boss.

“Hippogriffs come in congregations, not herds.” Breaking into a wide grin, Kingsley nodded to a witch in green robes as she deftly inserted herself into the crowd beside him. “Healer Patil, fancy meeting you here. Meeting someone on the train from Hogwarts?”

Turning and smiling as if she had just realized who she was standing next to, Padma Patil shrugged and winked. “Mr. Minister, it's good to see you. It's been too long since we've had a chance to chat.” Ignoring Audrey's muttered, `it's been less than twelve hours for Merlin's sake', Padma beamed at Percy. “Percy, it's good to see you also. How's work at the Ministry going?”

“Things are tolerably well, Padma. Of course the two meetings I had to reschedule today…” The rest of Percy's discussion was abruptly halted when his wife's elbow suddenly found itself lodged in his ribs.

“What Percy means is that this is such a glorious day, we decided to come down to the station and see if we could find Headmistress McGonagall to wish her a happy St. Swithin's Day.”

“And that's another thing; do we really have to keep saying that? St. Swithin's Day isn't until next month.” Looking peeved, Percy shook his head.

Smiling sweetly and ignoring her husband, Audrey nodded to the younger witch. “Busy day at playpen central?” Audrey's eyes were twinkling as she twitted her boss's not so secret girlfriend.

Scowling slightly, Padma muttered under her breath in Hindi as she stared at the head of the Minister's security detail. When the knowing grin on Audrey's face told her that the other witch understood, at least in part, what she was saying, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “If I ask, will you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Grinning, Audrey was watching her boss out of the corner of her eye as he started to get a look of concern on his face. “Honestly, I don't have an earthly idea of what you're talking about.”

Looking around to see if anyone was paying them any undue attention, Padma glared. “Why my presence seems to cause you to go into snark mode.”

Sighing and shaking her head, Audrey turned slightly towards her boss, who seemed to be just as interested in her answer as Padma was. “Coronet, did I ever tell you why I turned down a transfer to Protective Services back in Nevada?”

Looking puzzled, Kingsley shook his head. “Pocahontas, I don't believe you ever mentioned that. Considering where you are now, I find that curious.”

“It was just that back there, the local politicians all suffered from the delusion that any part of their personal life was, well, personal.” Seeing the look on her boss's face, she held up her hand to forestall an outburst. “Not that politicians and other public figures aren't deserving of a personal life, but that they were under the delusion that they could actually keep something like that out of the public eye.” Seeing the faint blush on Padma's cheeks, she concluded. “Especially since most of them were worse than you two at maintaining some sort of public façade regarding their personal relationships.”

Chuckling, and trying to ignore the look of shock on the face of the witch beside him, Kingsley nodded graciously. “And with your vast experience, how would you advise a hypothetical public person in that situation to proceed?”

Seeming to think for a second, Audrey frowned as she hummed a tuneless melody. Finally looking up, she shrugged. “Well, hypothetically speaking of course, I'd advise the hypothetical public person that unless his real intent was to amuse the ninety plus percent of the staff that works with him that have already figured out what's going on, not to mention anyone with eyes and two active brain cells that sees the hypothetical couple together, performing the worst impression of a non-couple since Harry and Hermione, they might as well come clean and actually start acting like a couple. Hypothetically, of course.”

“Of course?” Frowning, Kingsley looked at Padma out of the corner of his eye and sighed at the blush that was gracing the younger witches' cheeks. “A hypothetical ninety percent you say?”

“Well, it's an estimate. The hypothetical cleaning witch seemed genuinely confused and shocked when she found a pair of hypothetical red lace knickers hanging from a hypothetical chandelier the other night, so I'm guessing that she might not know.”

Speachless, Kingsley turned and stared at the head of his protective detail. “What?” Padma was sputtering and trying to find her voice. Grinning evilly, Audrey turned to her husband and patted him sharply twice on the back, since he seemed to be having a bit of trouble breathing.

As the train approached, she nodded. “Everything's under control, Nargle covered for you and said they were hers.” If anything, that addition made Kingsley's eyes get bigger, pushed Padma a couple of inches closer to total collapse, and caused Percy to stare at his wife in horror.

“And how in Merlin's name did that make things better?” Shaking his head, Kingsley slowly reached down and took Padma's hand, and gently squeezed it.

“She explained that she must have splinched her knickers when she left after a meeting that afternoon. She was going to meet Keeper in Hogsmeade and since she really wouldn't need them once she got there, she must have forgotten them in mid-apparition.” Seeing the look on all three faces, Audrey chuckled. “You should have been there to hear her tell it. By the time she was finished, the cleaning witch believed it, Gunn was almost peeing herself trying not to laugh, and I was almost convinced that it was possible.”

Finally finding her voice, Padma asked “How?”

Shrugging, Audrey rolled her eyes. “How does Nargle do anything? You had just left after your `meeting' with Coronet on funding for St. Mungo's, Coronet was down in the situation room being briefed, and the cleaning witch starts yelling. I go busting into the inner office, expecting to find an invading dementor or something equally dangerous, and she's just standing there, pointing at the chandelier by the floo.” Chuckling at the memory, Audrey smiled. “All of a sudden, Nargle appears from the floo, looks up and says, `Oh, there they are,' calmly as you please. Then she launches into a fifteen minute explanation that actually makes sense as long as you're willing to credit the influence of albino Meteor Toads and left-handed Norman Pixies.”

Seeing the question in Padma's eyes, Audrey chuckled. “How Nargle knew to be there, your guess is as good as mine. I've know the girl for two years now, and I can't make heads nor tails about how she does anything she does.” Looking down at the entwined hands of the two, Audrey smiled. “That's much better. Train's here.” Looking over at her husband she elbowed him again. “Percy dear, it's not polite to stare. You act as if you've never seen a couple hold hands before. Honestly, how did you survive before you married me?”

As the train slowed to a halt, the general noise level of the crowd began to rise as anxious parents and family members began to try to catch the eye of their returning students. As the students began to swarm off the train, trailing trunks, cages, and brooms behind them, twenty-five witches and wizards began to make their way onto the train. Nodding pleasantly to the staff and crew of the train, they all began to make their way forward to the train compartment usually occupied by the Head students.

Equally unnoticed, a solitary beetle made its way onto the train and clung to a door frame for a second. A member of the family Scarabaeus sacer, the Egyptian sacred scarab beetle paused for a moment as it seemed to watch the witches and wizards boarding the train. Clicking it's mandibles in a satisfied manner; the beetle launched itself into the air and made its way up the corridor, following behind the witches and wizards heading for the Heads' compartment.

-----

“For Merlin's sake, stand still. Honestly, I can't do anything with your hair if you're going to storm around the room like that.” Shaking her head, Ginny Weasley turned to the mother of the bride. “Helen, could either you or Mum convince bridezilla here that she needs to stand still for two seconds so I can finish her hair?”

As the laughter rang out through the Prefect's compartment, Hermione stopped pacing and took a deep breath. “What every possessed me that I could plan a wedding in secret? On a moving train no less?”

Chuckling, Lavender raised her hand from where she was lounging against one of the freestanding wardrobes that occupied one wall of the compartment. “That would have been me. I said that Harland and I were getting married where we first met, and you decided that it would be horribly romantic to do the same thing.” Taking a sip from the flute of sparkling pumpkin juice she was holding, she giggled. “Hey, it sounded like a good idea at the time.”

“It sounded good because the two of you had just sent half the birds in bloody England after my poor defenseless sister.” Kicking her feet idly, Parvati chuckled as she tried to keep from looking at Helen. “All the poor girl did was steal a teensy, weensy, kiss from Harry Potter and you'd think she'd horribly wronged both of you.”

Looking out the curtain covered window into the corridor, Angelina Weasley began shaking her head. “Damn, I had the second week of August in the Padma-Kingsley pool. Who has this week for them going public?”

“That would be me.” Chuckling from the annoyed glares she was getting, Luna got up and curtsied. “I'll check with George after the ceremony to see how much I win, this time.”

“This isn't helping.” Standing in the middle of the compartment, Hermione stared at her friends and relatives with a slightly manic look in her eyes. Shaking her head, Helen stood up and walked slowly over to her daughter. Looking over at Molly, who was trying to cover a smile, she nodded. “A little help, please.”

Nodding graciously, Molly conjured an overstuffed chair that would have been at home in the Gryffindor common room right behind the distressed bride. Helen took her daughter's hands in hers and nodded. “Mi, everything is going to be fine.”

As the whistle blew, indicating the train was beginning its return trip to Scotland; Hermione blushed and sat gingerly on the edge of the seat behind her. Nodding in appreciation, Helen knelt in front of her daughter. Looking around she smiled.

“Ginny?” When the younger witch acknowledged her with a wry smile and a wink, Helen nodded back. “Hair.”

“Lavender?” Seeing Lavender's thumbs-up, she nodded. “Nails.”

“Chastity? Get the dress ready.” “One bridal special, coming up.”

“Angelina? Shoes.” “Size four trainers with bells on.”

“Fleur? Les cosmetiques, s'il vous plait?” “Oui, Mama Granger, certainment.”

Looking at her daughter, Helen smiled reassuringly. “Everything is going fine. Today will happen, and it will be perfect because it's your wedding.” Looking over at Petunia who was smiling, Helen smiled. “As far as Harry's concerned, you could shave your head and walk out there in a flour sack and the boy would be convinced you're the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. We're got three hours until we start, and everything is in place.”

“Mum, he scares me.” Blushing Hermione lowered her head as her friends quietly worked on finishing her wedding preparations. “I can't live up to his expectations. He thinks I'm something I'm not.”

Kneeling beside the chair, Ginny shook her head in disbelief. “Hermione, I'm only going to tell you this once. You are the standard that Harry has measured every witch, every woman, he's met by since he was eleven. He's not with Cho, because she's not you. He's not with me, because I'm not you.” Nodding reassuringly to her friend, Ginny glanced over at her mother before continuing. “Trust me, I tried everything I could think of, but what it came down to I wasn't who he needed in his life. I wasn't Hermione Jane Granger. Remember Fleur's wedding?”

Nodding, Hermione smiled. “It was a beautiful wedding. The last bit of normal we had before everything started.”

Ginny chuckled. “If you can call a Weasley family wedding normal, then fine. The point I was trying to make is that there was a gaggle of Fleur's cousins running around, all of them part-Veela and very French. Not to mention Gabrielle, who was on a one witch crusade to turn `The Boy Who Lived' into `The Boy Who Lives in my Bedroom'.” Looking up and seeing the amused nod from Fleur, Ginny chuckled and continued. “Three wizards weren't making fools of themselves that day. Monsieur Delacour and my brother Bill were two of them, because they already had their own personal veelas. The other was Harry, because his heart was already taken by the only witch who ever really stood a chance.”

“What if I'm not the witch he thinks I am?” Looking up at Ginny, Hermione's eyes were filled with tears. “After everything he's been through…”

Suddenly, a burst of silver light appeared in the room. A stag patronus was standing beside the chair Hermione was sitting in. The stag lowered his head and began to nuzzle her hair as every witch in the room just stared. Helen and Petunia looked at each other and then at the scene before them as Hermione reached up a hand and gently scratched the nose of the stag.

Shaking her head, Ginny sighed. “Prongs, just don't mess up her hair or makeup, we've almost got her ready for her big day.” Blushing as the stag looked up at her and nodded, Ginny gently squeezed Hermione's shoulder. Standing, she shook her head. “I'm not certain if this counts against the groom not seeing the bride on the day of the wedding. I can't believe Harry sent Prongs because you were feeling jittery.”

Shaking her head, Hermione smiled as the stag settled itself to the ground and rested his head in her lap. “Harry probably didn't consciously send him. We both promised to try not to listen in on the other until we get ready for the ceremony to begin.”

Staring in disbelief, Parvati shook her head. “Hermione, how long has Prongs been manifesting for you?”

Looking up with an expression of joy on her face as she scratched the stag along the line of his muzzle, Hermione shrugged. “About three years or so. He started showing up in the evenings when Harry was away on that mission to Tibet back in '03, I think. I was worried about him, the muggle situation there was very unsettled and some of the people he was looking for were living in the muggle communities.”

Looking over at Lavender, Parvati smirked. “Remember that dusty old tome I borrowed from Hannah last year?” Seeing the blonde witch's nod, she continued. “That was a copy of Handellson's `Curious Habits of Witches and Wizards'.” Looking over and seeing the curious expression on Hermione's face, Parvati nodded. “It's pretty much the only scholarly treatise on the social habits and relationship patterns of the wizarding community and some of the things that set us apart from the muggle world. One of the things it mentions as very rare, almost legendary if you will, is what occasionally happens with patronuses and life-pairs.”

“Don't be ridiculous Parv. I'm certain all of the married witches in here have the same sort of connection with their spouse.” Looking around the room, Hermione started to frown when she saw nothing but knowing smiles and shaking heads. “This is absurd. It can't be that uncommon for two people who care about each other…” Trailing off, Hermione stared as the room broke into laughter again.

“Hermione, there's something you're missing here.” Nodding thoughtfully, Luna smiled at the embarrassed look on her friend's face.

Laughing, Hermione smiled at Luna and looked a bit wistful. “Luna, I've felt like I've been missing something since I realized I loved Harry. Hopefully today will be the end of that feeling. But what is it that I'm missing about Prongs here.”

Chuckling, Luna smiled as she watched the pair of them. “Hermione, the patronus is an expression of the wizard or witches' soul, true?”

“Basic magical theory. The patronus is the person. You know that as well as I do.” Looking a bit puzzled, Hermione smiled at Luna, waiting for the quirky Ravenclaw to come to her point.

“Prongs here, isn't Harry's, he's yours.” Seeing the incredulous look on her face, Luna nodded. “You two are a life-pair. Soul-bonded, as it were. While popular romantic theory says that there's always a bit of the other person in your heart, for you two, it's quite literal.”

“That's preposterous.” Looking down at the patronus who was calmly waiting beside her, she smiled. “You're here from Harry, aren't you, big fellow.”

The stag raised his head and stared into Hermione's eyes. As she waited, the stag nuzzled her cheek and then settled back down.

“Harry's literally part of you and Prongs here manifests when you stress and need him. You were worried about him in Tibet, so Prongs comes to reassure you, set your mind at ease. You're worried now, you doubt the fact that the two of you are scarily perfect together, and Prongs is here as a physical manifestation of the love the two of you share. The two of you have anchored each other for a long time now.” Looking uncharacteristically serious, Luna's eyes glowed a bit as she smiled at her friend. “This wedding is something the two of you have been moving toward since the day you met. Just take a deep breath and let the rest of us take care of the little details.”

There was a knock at the door, and everyone looked up as Angelina shook her head and opened it. Smiling at Kingsley, who was standing in the doorway, she shook her head. “You two couldn't have waited one bloody week, could you?”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Kingsley looked at Padma and grimaced. “It seems no one's happy, regardless.”

“I'm happy.” Luna chimed in from her place perched on the edge of a table dressed in a bright yellow bridesmaid gown. “Angelina is just a bit miffed because she didn't factor Harry and Hermione deciding to get married today into her calculations.” Looking at the blush on Padma's face, Luna smirked. “I'll give them back to you after the wedding. You probably won't need them tonight; so you'll have them for the morning.” Looking around the room at the curious faces, she smiled. “I know I've never needed them for a wedding reception.”

Shaking his head, the Minister swatted at something by his ear before turning his attention to the bride. “Hermione, I don't want to intrude, I just popped my head in to say that I couldn't be more pleased. I'm certain that you've got everything planned, but in case there's anything I can do, for Merlin's sake let me know.”

“Kingsley, thank you.” Taking a deep breath, Hermione tried to calm herself as her friends put the finishing touches on her preparations. “I think everything's under control, though I keep asking myself why I didn't follow Percy and Audrey's example and just elope.”

Sticking her head around the corner of the door, Audrey winked at her friend. “We had the excuse that we'd only known each other for three hours and no one knew we were a couple. If you two had wanted to do that and survive, you'd have had to fly to Vegas the night you finally admitted you loved each other and done it then. Since you broke the twenty-four hour rule, you have to suffer through like everyone else.”

Nodding, Hermione smirked. “I'll keep that in mind next time I realize I'm in love with someone I've known forever.”

“Works best with a total stranger, though. Hit the jackpot with Percy. You wouldn't believe how many dodgy tourists I let rescue me before I found a keeper.” Smiling at the offended noises her husband was making, she shrugged. “Hate to break up the party, but we need to get up to the front so you ladies can continue getting ready.”

Laughing, Hermione nodded slowly as Ginny finished putting the final touches on her hair. “We'll talk after the ceremony. We're going to be in the States for part of our honeymoon, and I wanted to get your thoughts on some places to see. If we actually get out of the rooms, of course.”

As the room erupted in laughter, Kingsley shook his head and nodded to Hermione one last time as the door to the hallway closed. As everyone settled back down, Lily and Petunia Dursely came up in their matching flower girl dresses and tugged on Luna's sleeve.

“Aunt Luna?” Lily began.

“Our earrings started chiming.” Petunia continued.

“And we saw this bug lady fly in when Aunt Audrey's boss opened the door.” Lily noted.

“Technically, he's Uncle Percy's boss also.” Petunia corrected.

“He's Uncle Harry's and Aunt Hermione's boss too, but we'll never get to the good part if you keep wandering.” Lily admonished, shaking the glass sphere she was holding for emphasis. “How are we supposed to tell Aunt Luna the good parts if you keep bogging us down?”

“Ladies, what good parts, did you tell anyone else that your earrings were chiming, and where did you get that glass globe?” Bending over and whispering to the young witches, Luna immediately became attentive as the girls reported that the earrings she had given them that contained miniature sneak-o-scopes had gone off. Staring in fascination at the glass globe was holding, she frowned a bit at the scarab beetle that was being bounced around the interior by Lily's gesturing.

“You're the first person, since you know what they do, Aunt Luna.” Petunia answered.

“It wouldn't be very much fun to tell Aunt Ginny or Mum, they'd just look at us like we were babies.” Lily continued, giving the globe a shake and smirking as the beetle took another spin around the inside of the globe.

“I conjured the globe after Lils made the bug lady stop flying.” Petunia nodded seriously as she watched her sister send the trapped insect spinning around the inside of the globe. “Careful, if she gets sick, they'll make us clean it up.”

“That's not a ladybug, dears, it's a scarab beetle.” Shaking her head, she looked closely at the insect that was scuttling furiously around the globe, as if it were searching for some means of egress. A bit unusual, the head of the beetle looked as if it had flown into a couple of walls at high speed.

“It's a bug lady. And Mum's correct, she eats what she writes.” Matter of factly, Lily waited patiently for Luna to catch up.

Eyebrows rising, Luna began chuckling. “Tuney, did you conjure that globe?” Seeing the young witch nod solemnly, patted her on the shoulder. “Well done. You too Lils, I can just imagine the look on her face when the two of you captured her.” Shaking her head, Luna waved her hand in the direction of the globe. “Did you consider putting a couple of small holes in the globe, so she could breath?”

Rolling her eyes, Petunia Athena Dursely glared at Luna. “Honestly, do you think we're babies?”

“Air and food can get in, but nothing can get out.” Looking at her twin, Lily Rowena sighed dramatically. “Honestly, adults can be so difficult to work with.”

Chuckling, Luna nodded in apology. “Why don't you let me hang onto that for you ladies?” Holding out her hand, Luna smiled as Lily gently placed the globe in her hand. “I'll keep it safe, and when we get to the castle, we'll find a safe place for her to wait.” Looking around, Luna nodded as she bounced the globe in her hand a couple of times. “Why don't you two go back to playing, and if your earrings chime again…”

“We know.” Lily nodded.

“Look to see who isn't what they seem to be.” Petunia added.

Walking back over to where Hermione was sitting, her transformation almost complete, Luna took her wand and tapped the globe once, causing it to ring briefly, glow with a faint blue sheen, and then return to normal. Bouncing the globe in the palm of her hand twice, she smiled at the irate skittering coming faintly from the globe.

“Collecting specimens today?” Looking up, Hermione quirked an elegantly sculpted eyebrow at Luna as her friend approached. “That looks a bit mundane for your interests. Out of place, but mundane.”

“I think it's rarer than you think, but the twins actually caught it. I think they saw it as a potential disruption to the wedding, so they spontaneously solved a problem.” Looking over at Chastity, Luna smiled broadly. “I think the girls are progressing nicely. You're still going to let them start the new pre-Hogwarts program next fall?”

“Of course, if nothing else it will give them a channel for their `accidental' magic.” Shaking her head, Chastity chuckled. “Dudley might believe that everything the girls come up with is accidental, but they're just too bloody smug about some of it for it not to be planned out.” Shaking her head, she looked fondly over at her daughters as they were playing quietly by one of the windows in the compartment. “What did they catch, this time?”

Nodding thoughtfully, Luna looked over just in time to see Lily wink at her and then turn her attention back to the exploding snap game she was engaged in. “Just a scarab beetle. Probably just followed someone onto the train, looking to scavenge something.”

“Dung.” Hermione added as she was watching Lavender work on her nails.

Chuckling, Luna shook her head. “I didn't think Mundungus was on the guest list.”

“No, I was talking about what the beetle was looking for. Scarab beetles are just a variety of dung beetle. That's all they eat. They don't even drink; they get moisture from the dung also.”

“Excellent.” Hermione looked up sharply at the satisfied tone in Luna's voice. “Tell me, did you ever read about a castle cesspit in `Hogwarts: A History'?”

“Through a small door to the left of the entrance to the Slytherin dungeons. Take two flights down and then go through a small iron gate. Why?” Looking amused, Hermione carefully shook her head as Lavender finished with her nails.

“Just thought I do something nice for our little friend here. Put her someplace when we get to Hogwarts where she'll be happy and at home.” Smiling mysteriously, Luna looked thoughtful for a second. “And I have it on good authority that Ms Parkinson won't be bothering anyone or crashing the wedding. She's going to be occupied for the next 72 hours or so.”

“Luna? What did you do?” Trying not to smile, Hermione glanced suspiciously at her quirky friend. “And just how do you know this?”

“A pair of owls told me. Pansy's going to be occupied elsewhere for the next 72 hours.” Smiling knowingly, Luna reached into her clutch bag and pulled out her version of Hermione's infamous beaded bag. Taking her wand, she moved it in a peculiar pattern over the globe in her hand before inserting the globe, beetle and all, into the beaded bag and returning it to her purse.

“Luna, why did you just obliviate a scarab beetle?” Looking at her friend suspiciously, Hermione narrowed her eyes and bit her lip as she pondered the past couple of minutes. Suddenly, all the pieces fell together and she started giggling

“It's easier all around.” Chuckling, Luna patted her clutch purse and nodded. “She's really too small for the wrackspurts to notice right now, so this was kinder. Honestly, I'm putting her up with a free buffet for the next few days; I'd just prefer that she doesn't quite remember how she got there. Witch Weekly usually doesn't do a story about how I'm cheating on Ronald with Harry until late August; I'd hate to get them off their schedule.” Looking over at the girls who were innocently playing cards by the window, she smiled. “Besides, it'd be much crueler for Pansy if she actually got on the bad side of the twins by printing articles about them and their parents. Right now, they're just playing. Give them ten years and they'll be serious.” Shuddering a bit, Luna turned back to Hermione and nodded. “Even I'd feel sorry for her then.”

-->

10. Chapter Nine - All I Needed to Learn about Witches, I learne

Chapter Nine - All I Needed to Know about Witches, I learned from Ron Weasley

“You do realize the reason why Hermione wanted this to be a secret?” Lounging on a divan in the staff compartment, Ron idly watched Dennis, Bill, and George playing Exploding Snap while Harry paced around the compartment.

Coming to a complete stop and running his hand through his hair, Harry glared at his best mate. “Other than her expressed wish that our wedding not become some sort of sideshow with the press and thousands of gawkers?” Seeing Ron smirk and nod, Harry sighed. “Tell me, oh expert on the subject of Hermione Jane Granger. Why did we bust our arses to keep this whole thing a secret?”

Swinging his feet down from the divan and standing, Ron chuckled. “Simple, she didn't want us taking you out for a stag party.” Seeing the disbelieving look on Harry's face, he nodded very seriously. “Which, by the way, is scheduled for the first Friday after the two of you get back from your honeymoon at Chameleon's. Seamus says he's not taking `no' for an answer.”

Staring at Ron in disbelief, Harry became acutely aware that all men in the room were watching him, waiting to see his response. Swallowing once, he shook his head. “Let me see if I get this right. Hermione and the rest of us have moved heaven and earth for the past two weeks to plan a wedding for the express purpose of me not going to a stag party, and you're expecting that the first thing I'm going to do when I get back from my honeymoon is go to said stag party?” Seeing the grin on Ron's face, Harry rolled his eyes. “Are you mental? Have you ever met the witch I'm marrying?”

Glaring at the birds calls that were coming from the general direction of George, Ron nodded. “I believe I have a passing acquaintance with the witch in question. Hermione won't mind your going after you're married, so you might as well enjoy yourself.”

Looking over at Alex, who was smiling and shaking his head, Harry closed his eyes for several seconds before opening them and staring at Ron. “Let me get this straight. You're convinced Hermione, who's usually as straightforward as they come, has a problem with me attending a stag party before I'm married, which as best I understand the concept is when you're supposed to attend. But she'll be fine with me attending a party whose sole purpose is to get me intoxicated and do incredibly stupid things that you're not supposed to do after you get married, which is why they have it before the wedding in the first place, after the wedding?”

“Precisely. You're catching on very quickly here, Harry.” Nodding sagely, Ron smirked at the gobsmacked look on Harry's face. “Face it; you're already married, so you wouldn't willingly do anything any stupider before the ceremony than you would after.”

“Thanks, I think. So, exactly why is going to my bachelor party after my wedding better than going before my wedding.” Shaking his head, Harry looked around the room, trying to gauge the reaction to Ron's theory. Arthur was shaking his head, trying not to laugh. Alex was rolling his eyes and chuckling. George was turning red as he was trying to keep from laughing at his younger brother. Dudley was shaking his head, trying not to think about how Hermione would react to all this, while Neville was vainly trying to quiet Ron.

“It's very simple.” Looking at Neville, Ron shook his head. “Neville, I know what I'm talking about. I've been their friends since we all met on the train. I think I've gotten a handle on how the mental one thinks.” Looking over, Ron hastily nodded to Hermione's dad. “No offense intended sir.”

“Ron, my daughter has been `mental' when it comes to Harry since she was twelve. But I am interested in hearing your theory as to why a post honeymoon stag party would be part of her plans.” Nodding to Harry, Alex grinned. “I'll leave it to your discretion whether or not you tell her about this.”

“I'll tell her.” Chuckling at the shocked look on Harry's face, Ron nodded seriously. “Having your stag party after the official wedding means that all of those `Potter Prowl' witches out there will officially know that you're taken. You've been taken for years, but most witches and other women didn't know it. You're a sucker for witches, way too nice to them to tell them you're taken, especially since you were being very busy denying how you felt about Hermione for so long. If we were out on the town before your wedding, you'd probably get yourself into some sort of compromising position. This way, they all know you're married, you'll have the ring and when we're at Chameleon's, we'll all be looking out for you because there's no one in the world that wants to explain to Hermione how we let her husband get himself into trouble, so it will be fine.”

“When have I ever allowed myself to get into a compromising position because I was too nice?” Shaking his head, Harry looked at his best mate and rolled his eyes. “It's not like I'm some sort of total naïf when it comes to witches.”

“Romilda Vane.” Ron's reply was delivered dryly, but his eyes were dancing as he watched Harry blush.

“I don't think that's a fair evaluation Ron. How was I to know that she wasn't really in trouble?” Shaking his head, Harry looked defensively around the room as he noticed that all of the other men were watching his conversation with Ron. “It could have happened to anyone.”

“Harry, the girl shows up at our inn room door, dressed in a skimpy bathing costume, pounding on the door demanding to be let in because she's being chased by a vampire?” Chuckling, Ron smirked at the blush on Harry's face that was threatening to go Weasley.

“Well, it could happen. It was about nine in the evening as I recall, so it's possible.” Looking defensive, Harry glanced over at Alex, who was shaking his head and trying not to laugh. “She was someone we knew from school.”

“As I recall from my daughter's very vivid telling of the story, this was the young witch who tried to drug you with a love potion and ended up almost getting Ron there poisoned your sixth year?” Seeing the dumbfounded look on Harry's face as he nodded, Alex started laughing. “And you let her into your room with a flimsy story and even flimsier costume?”

Before Harry could protest, the entire room started laughing. Ron held up his hand, gathered his breath, and continued. “But, it gets better than that. One, the inn doesn't have a pool, so why in the name of anything rational is she running around the halls in a bikini? Two, it was after nine, I'll admit, but we were in John O'Groats in late June, where the sun doesn't go down until after ten, so there wouldn't have been a vampire awake within two hundred miles of there. And three, we were there unofficially and signed in under different names, so how did she know which door to start pounding on to look for you?”

Shaking his head, Harry grimaced. “I'll admit, I didn't stop to think, I just heard someone yelling for me and raising a ruckus and opened the door to see what was wrong. She popped through the door and was going on about a vampire…”

Breaking into Harry's defense, Ron continued. “And that's when I came up from the taproom to find Harry standing there looking completely gobsmacked, Romilda in a very skimpy bathing costume lying flat on the room floor with a highly irate otter patronus standing on her , almost growling and snarling madly, literally scaring the pee out of the witch.”

Shaking his head, as the others were laughing so hard they were falling out of their chairs, Harry nodded. “And that's the part I'll never understand. I can understand that Romilda was trying to get herself into my room, hoping that something would happen. I can understand that I set myself up for that since I was never interested in any other witches because I've been totally in love with Hermione since we were twelve or thirteen, so it looked as if I was available when I really wasn't. I can even understand why some of the totally mental witches I've met over the years have done the things they've done.”

“What don't you understand, Harry?” Looking at the genuine look on confusion on the young man's face, Alex nodded encouragingly. “It sounds as if you had the bases covered, as Hermione's grandmother would say.”

“For the life of me, I can't understand why Hermione never said anything to me about it after we got back to London.” Shaking his head, he looked genuinely puzzled. “She was never snarky about it, except when it came to Parkinson, but she always made a point of twitting me about it when witches would try to catch my interest.”

As the room burst into laughter, except for Alex who was staring at Harry in a very thoughtful manner, Harry shook his head. “All right, what's so funny now?”

“Harry, mate. The fact that instead of worrying about how Hermione knew to send you a patronus to `defend your honor', you worry about the fact she never made mention of it after the fact speaks volumes. Forget I said Hermione was the mental one.” Shaking his head, Ron leaned up against one of the tables in the room and chuckled.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence there, mate.” Shaking his head, Harry looked around the room for Neville. “Didn't Hannah do one of her manuscripts for Uni on patronuses and how they're affected by personal relationships?”

“Well, you didn't actually read Hannah's manuscript for her apprenticeship, did you?” Looking a bit embarrassed, Neville smiled as Harry shook his head `No'. “Actually she devoted several sections to that subject. I think the section regarding `Couple #3' would be most on point.”

Not hearing any complaints, and finding himself in the unusual position of being the center of attention for a group of his peers, Neville shook his head and continued. “Everyone has noted the popular school of thought that very often the patronuses of a couple that becomes very committed to each other will undergo some sort of shift when they acknowledge their relationship. Sometimes after the wedding, but usually when they make a deep commitment to each other that is permanent, the patronus of one of the partners will shift to a complimentary form of the other's patronus.”

“Lily and James. Lily's patronus shifted from being a Mau to a doe to compliment James' stag just after the weekend they went to visit her parents.” Musing, Arthur looked very thoughtful. “No one knew until three months later that James' had actually proposed to her before they left and they asked her parents for permission to marry as soon as they graduated while they were there.”

“Exactly, if both parties of the relationship can manifest a patronus, corporeal or otherwise, before they commit to each other there's a shift in the patronus of one to better reflect the dynamic of the couple. It's not a constant thing, but it occurs about nine times out of ten.” Warming to the subject, Neville smiled at Harry as he watched his friend mull over what he had just said.”

“That doesn't seem to apply in our case. I was able to produce a patronus third year, and Hermione's came fifth, along with most of the rest of the DA, but our patronuses have never changed.” Looking thoughtful, Harry smiled at the memories.

“Very true. Your parents were actually `Couple #1' from Hannah's manuscript. She documented twelve or thirteen variations on the theme, but they were the `poster couple' if you will for this sort of circumstance.” Chuckling at the look on Harry's face, Neville shrugged. “Hannah was very careful to be circumspect. The only person who sussed out she was talking about your parents just from reading the manuscript was Headmistress McGonagall. The second type are those who both don't learn to manifest a patronus until after they commit to each other.”

“This would be `Couple #2' in Hannah's treatise, correct?” Dudley chimed in, surprising both Harry and Neville. Seeing the look on their faces, Dudley grinned. “Marrying a Ravenclaw and healer gave me a different perspective on books and school. Chastity had a copy at the house a few months ago and I started reading bits of it trying to understand things since one of the things that Luna has warned us about the twins is that they'll probably instinctively discover patronuses much sooner than would be the norm.”

Nodding thoughtfully, Neville closed his eyes for a second. “I wonder if either of them have spoken to Hannah about that?” Shaking his head and opening his eyes, Neville smiled apologetically. “Be that as it may, in the second case the couples will either develop complimentary or sympathetic patronuses about eight times in ten.”

“Sympathetic?” Looking a bit confused, Harry shrugged. “I take it that this doesn't pertain to us, but I'm curious as to what that would be.”

“Harry, think of it as forms that would work in concert with each other, but not be paired together at first glance.” Seeing the look of confusion on Harry's face, and the faces of the others who were still paying attention for that matter, Neville smiled. “The study couple for this both manifested patronuses for the first time well after they became a couple. His was an Incan Firedrake and hers was an Andean Mountain Cat. The two coexist in the same area, and they actually cooperate with each other.”

Harry's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. “And I'm still trying to suss out how he ever managed to evoke a patronus.” Seeing the blank look on Ron's face, Harry chuckled. “Draco and Asteria are obviously couple number two. Though I'm still a bit surprised that a Ravenclaw waited until that late in life to figure out how to manifest a patronus.”

“I don't think Hannah took things like that into account, but it might make for an interesting follow-up study for this category. And you're forgetting that most people didn't have Harry Potter and Hermione Granger teaching them defense.” Looking thoughtful, Neville mulled it over a bit before he noticed the exasperated look Harry was giving him. “Sorry about that. Where was I?”

“Couple #3. The type who don't change their patronuses?”

“Actually, Ron, that`s Couple #4. Couple #3 was a bit different. They're the ones who were committed to each other before their patronuses manifested, but the relationship was sub rosa, so while there may or may not be a visible relationship between their patronuses, there's a connection if you know where to look.” Chuckling, Neville shook his head at Harry.

“How does that work?” Looking confused, Harry was trying to envision a hidden connection between Hermione's otter Starlight and Prongs.

Chuckling, Neville blushed a bit. “Actually, you can thank Ginny and Tom Riddle for Hannah figuring it out.”

“Now I'm officially confused. Exactly how did Ron's sister and the biggest evil wanker of the last hundred years affect our patonuses?” Looking confused, Harry was about to give the whole thing up when there was a flash of silver light in the compartment. Sitting on his shoulder, and chittering and mewling in an amused fashion, the silver otter wrapped her tail around Harry's neck and patted him gently on the cheek.

“Hello, Starlight. Are you here to help Neville explain the connection between you and Prongs?”

As the otter began to shake its head, Neville chuckled. “Actually, the connection is between Starlight and yourself. Ginny told the story of what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, and Hannah was able to suss out the connection between the two of you.” Seeing the skeptical look in Harry's eyes, Neville shrugged. “It would seem that Hermione had already made up her mind about you, at least subconsciously, when you taught her to create a patronus during the DA days.”

Taking his wand, Neville wrote `Patronus otter' in glowing script in the air. “All right, I remember Tom doing that with his name and then scrambling the letters to become `I am Lord Voldemort'. But I'm still not seeing how that connects Starlight and myself.”

Smiling, Neville inclined his head to the patronus. “Since you must know the answer, would you do the honors?”

Standing up on her hind feet, the lithe patronus launched herself into the air. Diving through the word `patronus', she wiped out all of the letters except for the beginning `P' with her tail as she passed. Turning in mid-air, she moved the letters in the word `otter' until they were adjacent. Hanging in mid-air, for all to see, was the word `Potter'

Nodding to the patronus in thanks, Neville gestured grandly to Harry's surname and said, “I rest my case.”

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11. Chapter Ten - ...The Bells Are Going to Chime

Chapter Ten - …The Bells Are Going to Chime

The Hogwarts Express had crossed the border into Scotland and was barreling on northward. The dining car, which was very rarely used on the trips to and from the school since most of the traveling students were content to take their sustenance from the snack trolley, had been magically transfigured until it had the appearance of an open hall in a medieval castle. Much larger than the physical confines of a railway car, a small crowd waited patiently for the star of the show to appear. Standing at the front of the car was the groom, seven of his closest friends, and the Minister of Magic, not so patiently waiting.

“Ron, where is she?” Glancing at his best mate out of the corner of his eye, Harry muttered in a bad stage whisper. “I was under the impression that the goal here was to be married before we arrived at Hogsmeade Station. At this rate, we'll be halfway past the Faroe Islands and waiting clearance to proceed to the North Pole before she arrives.”

“Harry, she'll be here when she gets here.” Trying to repress a grin, Ron's blue eyes were dancing as he turned slightly to face him. “She and Luna swear they know exactly where we were when she opened the door into our old compartment. She's going to set foot in here right there, not a second sooner or later.” Chuckling he shook his head. “This is Hermione we're talking about. I'd swear she originated the phrase `In such matters, one cannot be too precise'.”

“Gilbert and Sullivan, but that's not important.” Shaking his head, Harry was busily scanning the room as he waited. Suddenly, a faint mental chuckle intruded upon his thoughts, and he smiled as he `heard' in his mind, “It's time, love.”

Muttering, “It's showtime”, Harry smiled as Ron and the rest of the groomsmen apparated out, leaving Harry and Kingsley standing alone at the front of the car. Looking out into the small group assembled, Harry nodded significantly to his aunt, on one side of the aisle, and his soon-to-be mother-in-law on the other. Seeing that they were both beaming with tear bright eyes, he nodded and took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come.

The sound of an opening door was heard and the room became silent. Looking up the aisle towards the back of the compartment, Harry was stunned at his first glimpse of Hermione since before last midnight. Standing there, fours steps outside the compartment, on the arm of her father, she was a vision of loveliness as they patiently waited for the precise moment to begin. Her hair was upswept, framing her face in soft curls.

A single silver pendant hung from a delicate chain around her neck drawing Harry's eyes towards the décolletage of the off the shoulder dress in such a way that almost robbed Harry of coherent thought. The stunning Victorian wedding gown accentuated the natural beauty of the bride within. Watching her standing there on the arm of her father, Harry's vision focused solely on her as she gave a minuscule nod and the Dursely twins, who were waiting patiently in front of her, stepped into the compartment.

As they entered the compartment, music began playing. The lush orchestral chords swept over the assembled guests and wedding party like a wave, catching all up in the simple power and majesty of the song as the bridal party began to process down the aisle. Chosen by the bride from the works of one of her favorite composers, the soaring strains of Holst accompanied them down the aisle. As the lush hymn section of `Jupiter' filled the room, Teddy and Victoire, bearing the rings that would be needed soon, followed Lily and Petunia as they made their way solemnly down the aisle.

First into the compartment after the ring bearers were Fleur and Bill. A study in contrasts, both were smiling as they began to process into the chamber. As they proceeded towards the front to the stately strains, Chastity and Dudley soon followed them. Harry's cousin and his wife both kept a watchful eye on their daughters as they waited patiently in the front, the knowing smiles on the faces of Petunia and Lily too often a prelude to some mischief.

The next couple in the wedding party was Angelina and George, with Angelina keeping a firm grip on her husband in an attempt to keep him on track and out of trouble for their friends' wedding. Dean and Parvati followed them, with the Unspeakable beaming and grinning from ear to ear as they followed their friends.

Luna and Dennis followed next, a pairing created by virtue of the fact that the two youngest Weasleys were standing up for their longtime friends and exes. Dennis' face was turning red as he was trying to deal with the running commentary Luna was providing without laughing aloud, much to the amusement of their friends in the audience. Lavender and Neville stepped into the gap, both nodding to their significant others who were standing together for the duration of the ceremony. Lavender smiled at her Canadian Auror, who was standing there in his dress robes blushing as Hannah was whispering “You're next” in his ear.

Finally, Ginny and Ron appeared. Best friends and former romantic interests of the happy couple, the pair had seen this day coming long before the bride and groom had admitted to it. Both grinning like madpersons, the brother and sister pair almost jauntily proceeded down the aisle to take their appointed spots to await what was to come.

As the Weasleys came to a stop and turned, the music paused for a moment as Hermione and her father appeared in the doorway. Almost appearing to float down the aisle in the elegant gown, Hermione's face shown with radiant happiness as her father accompanied her down the aisle.

A collective intake of breath from the assembled group tore Harry's attention from his bride approaching him.

Looking over her shoulder, his eyes widened as he noticed that following the bride and her father down the aisle were a pair of patronuses. Prongs, his stag patronus, was gleaming in all of his silver glory with an equally brilliant otter perched quite cheekily on his back. Standing up and clutching the stag's antlers in her forepaws/hands, Starlight was looking around and nodding to all assembled.

Shaking his head slightly, Harry answered the unspoken question in Kingsley's eye as he turned his attention back to Hermione and her father. The pair reached the front of the aisle just as the music began to fade away. Waiting patiently, the two waited for Kingsley to begin.

Taking a deep breath, Kingsley looked expectantly at the pair of patronuses standing behind the bride and her father. Nodding slightly, the stag winked and then began to fade, along with the otter standing on his shoulders. Releasing the breath he had been holding, Kingsley began.

“Who presents this bride?”

“Her mother and I.” Replied Alex in the time honored tradition. Nodding one final time to his daughter, he kissed her briefly on the cheek before handing her forward to stand beside Harry. Stepping back, he quietly stood beside his wife as Kingsley continued.

“It is my singular pleasure to stand in front of this company today and officiate at this public affirmation of something that has existed for a very long time.” Nodding at the blush that graced Hermione's cheeks and the smirk on Harry's face, he chuckled. “I would hazard a guess that there never has been a wedding more long overdue and more totally unnecessary. The love these two have for each other is plain to see, and there isn't anyone here in this assembled company who hasn't wished that the two of them would finally end the suspense we've all felt during the past ten years or so.”

Acknowledging the chuckles and laughs from the assembled group, Kingsley smiled broadly as his eyes lingered on Padma for several seconds. Seeing the blush on her face and the joy in her eyes, he nodded to her before continuing. “The depth of commitment between Harry James Potter and Hermione Jane Granger is something that is usually the province of legend. Normally when presiding over a wedding, I take a moment to remind the couple of the commitment they are making and the nature of the relationship they are entering. Today, that would be totally unnecessary and redundant. These two know full well the depth of their commitment to each other and have a relationship that has, quite literally, stormed the gates of Hell for each other.”

Nodding to Harry, Kingsley stepped back as Harry reached out his hands and took Hermione's between them.

“An eternity ago, my life was changed. I was heading into a new environment, a new school full of wonder and promise. For the first time in my life I was able to say that I had a friend,” nodding to Ron as he paused for a moment, Harry smiled as tears began to appear in his eyes as he continued, “and then the unthinkable happened.” Taking a deep breath, Harry looked deep into Hermione's eyes and continued.

“Hermione Jane Granger, you came bursting into my life and things have never been the same. Words are totally inadequate at a time like this. All I can do is state that the moments we've shared are the most precious that I can think of. Today is an acknowledging of the commitments we have made to each other, the promises made and promised kept over the years. I really can't add to that, but I do promise you that everything I have, everything that I am and everything I'll ever become is yours and yours alone. In this life, and in the next, my life, my soul, my magic, my being is yours and yours alone.” A glow began to build around the pair as Hermione looked up and nodded.

“Harry James Potter, you are the one I've searched for, the answer to the questions I never knew I had. We've literally been through life and death together and there isn't anyone I'd want at my side other than you. You've saved my life, my mind, my sanity and my soul more times than I can count, and I'll stand by your side now and hereafter as your friend, your companion, your comrade, and your lover. Everything that I am, everything that I'll ever be is yours and yours alone. My life, my soul, my magic, my very being is yours. In this life and the next.”

The glow around the pair began to intensify as Kingsley stepped forward. “The rings?”

With polished precision Teddy and Victoire both stepped forward and presented the rings to the pair. Teddy winked cheekily at his mother as she took the ring from the pillow he was holding. Victoire blushed at the intensity of the look in Harry's eyes, which never left Hermione, as he took up the ring she presented to him. As they accepted the rings, both began to feel a tingling in their left hands as they took the rings in their right. Kingsley turned to Harry. “Harry, do you accept this witch as your wife, bound to you by the love you share and the magic you wield?”

“I do.” Harry's voice, resolute and clear, rang out in the room. Turning to Hermione, Kingsley nodded. “Hermione, do you accept this wizard as your husband, bound to you by the love you share and the magic you wield?”

“For all eternity.” Nodding, Hermione smiled as she waited for the moment that was to come. Stepping back, Kingsley nodded. “Place the rings upon the hand of the other.” Looking each other in the eye, they slipped the ring on the other's hand as they said, in unison, `With this ring, I thee wed.”

As the rings slipped into place, and the ritual affirmation was spoken, the light that had gathered around the couple burst into a golden corona with a joyous chiming sound. The room rang for several seconds with the sound of chimes as the couple stared at each other.

Shaking his head, Kingsley nodded. “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Seeing the two begin to hesitantly lean towards each other, he smirked. “Go ahead, kiss each other.”

As their lips met, they began to kiss. Not the searing passionate kiss of lovers who have been apart, not a chaste kiss for forms' sake, not even the deeply passionate kiss of a couple who knows each other well. It was the kiss of two people who, for that moment, nothing else existed or mattered. A kiss that joined the hearts, minds and souls of the two as they acknowledged that, for them, the universe existed in the other and in the other alone.

As they slowly ended the kiss, they instinctively joined hands and turned. Placing his hands on their shoulders, Kingsley nodded and addressed the audience. “It is my pleasure and honor to present to this company, Harry and Hermione. Joined by their magic, and their love, I present the happy couple to this assembled host.”

As the crowd began to acknowledge the couple, the strains of Mussorgsky's `Great Gate of Kyiv' swelled through the hall as the flower witches began their triumphant trek up the aisle. The rest of the wedding party followed, until only the bride and groom were left to begin their walk up the aisle as the hidden strings reached their peak and the last iteration of the theme began to the joyous pealing of bells and chimes. Hand in hand, they walked slowly up the aisle, reaching door way just as the finale began. Turning, they placed their arms around each other and began to kiss, once again.

Manifesting beside them, their patronuses began to glow brighter and brighter as the music came to an end. As final chords sounded, cymbals crashed and bells chimed, there was a flash of light that came from the patronuses that overwhelmed the eye, for just a moment. In the silence that followed, the couple was gone.

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12. Chapter Eleven - Exit, Stage Right

Chapter Eleven - Exit, Stage Right

Unheeding of the bright flash of light that heralded their departure from the train, Harry and Hermione were locked in a kiss that kept them from noticing the change in their surroundings. As they slowly, and very reluctantly, ended the kiss, Harry's eyes widened as he noticed that not only were they not in the transfigured train car on the Hogwarts Express, they were surrounded by billowing white clouds that looked disturbingly, frighteningly familiar.

Looking down, he was relieved to see that they were still dressed in their wedding clothes, but the fact that the place they were bore a very uncanny resemblance to the spot he had appeared after Voldemort had killed him was starting to send him into `Constant Vigilance' mode.

Seeing both of their patronuses standing off to the side, glowing brightly in the ambient light of wherever it was they were standing, Harry was a bit reassured. Turning to his bride, who was looking around with an expression of awe on her face, Harry whispered, “Hermione, I think we're in trouble here. I've been here before and last time it wasn't all that good.”

“Harry, when were you on the Etheric?” Seeing the confused look on his face, she nodded. “We're on the Etheric Plane. Where do you think we are?”

“I'm not certain, but the last time I was here, was the night I died.” Feeling Hermione tighten her grasp on his hand, he nodded slowly as he looked around. “Since this wasn't the way we planned the wedding, I'm reasonably certain that something's going on here that we didn't account for.”

“The Etheric is that space that exists between worlds and existences.” Seeing the puzzled look on his face, she nodded. “It binds all of the worlds together, and wraps all of them together in sort of a cosmic whole. Think of it. You died.” The pain in her eyes was very real for a moment as she relived that horrible moment. “Because you were still tethered to our world, you ended up here since it's the bridge between our world and the next.”

“So if I were to head off that way,” he pointed randomly in a direction over the shoulder of their patronuses, “I could end up back at King's Cross with Professor Dumbledore patiently waiting to take my ticket?”

Chuckling, Hermione shook her head. “Most likely not. We might be able to stumble across King's Cross, or somewhere else depending upon whatever symbolism I assign to moving on if my will were to prevail, but our departed Headmaster most likely won't be waiting to give us a choice.” Looking over at the pair of patronuses who were watching them intently, she nodded. “I think we can look much closer to home for the reason why we're here.”

“I'll warrant that Starlight and Prongs are both smarter than the average patronus, but why are we skipping our wedding reception and standing here?” Looking at the stag and otter, who were both affecting a `who me?' attitude, Harry snickered. “If we're not there on time, Ron's going to jump to some very interesting conclusions as to where we are and what we're doing.”

Blushing slightly, Hermione stepped close to him and wrapped her arms around him. “We certainly don't owe anyone anything, but I think we'll be back soon enough so that Ron won't miss a beat up at the castle, right?” Looking over at the pair of patronuses, Hermione stared at them while they both nodded agreeably.

“It's not going to take them all that long to get to Hogsmeade Station, and the carriages are already there.” Seeing the look of surprise, Harry nodded. “I sent Dennis there and back to make certain everything was ready. He said the thestrals were looking very bored. Aberforth had his kitchen girl feeding them to keep them occupied until the train arrived so Hagrid could take charge of them again.”

“Whether or not the carriages are waiting, we've got two advantages here on the Etheric Plane.” Rubbing the back of Harry's hand gently, Hermione smiled as he started to relax. “The first is that time runs differently here.”

“Differently?” Looking a bit perplexed, Harry looked down at his watch, and the hands seemed to be moving in their normal progressions. “How so?”

“Remember what you told me, you had a fairly extensive conversation with Albus, but you ended up back in your body just moments after Voldemort tried to kill you.” Shaking her head at the look in his eyes, she nodded. “Fine, after he did kill you. It couldn't have taken Narcissa Malfoy more than a handful of seconds to go over to check on you, and you were back by the time she got there. Remember?”

Nodding, Harry shrugged. “Remind me to reset my watch when we get back. What's the second reason, my lovely bride?”

“We can go directly to the Great Hall, thanks to our friends.” Nodding to the patronuses, Hermione chuckled as Prongs pawed the ground twice and Starlight mewled in agreement. “A patronus considers the Etheric their own private motorway for getting around; it's how they travel so quickly delivering messages. They duck into the Etheric Plane and then out again back into our world. Saves time but cuts down on their frequent flier miles.” Giggling a bit at the look on Harry's face, she kissed him briefly on the cheek and nodded.

“All right, I'll accept that we can be where we need to be, when we need to be there. But why are we here?” Looking from Starlight to Prongs, Harry shook his head. “I trust this is for a good reason, but unless you're just giving us some snog time, there is a reason, right?”

Nodding, Prongs walked up and stared at Hermione for a second, Starlight perched on his back. As Hermione reached out to gently touch the stag on the nose, Starlight launched herself into the air. As Hermione gently caressed the muzzle of the stag, the otter patted Hermione on her waist, where a small pocket was hidden in the wedding gown she wore.

“Are you wanting Luna's trinket, little one?” Seeing the otter nod in satisfaction, Hermione drew out a small dark blue velvet bag from the hidden pocket of her gown. Holding it up, she shrugged at Harry's unspoken question.

“Luna handed it to me when I was getting dressed; it's the `Something Borrowed'.” Seeing the blank look on his face, she chuckled, “There's an old tradition for brides that's supposed to bring good luck and happiness after the wedding. `Something old, something new. Something borrowed, something blue. And a silver sixpence in her shoe.'.” Eyes twinkling, Hermione laughed at the expression on Harry's face. “What?”

“That just seems so not you.” Shaking his head, Harry smiled at the look on his bride's face. “And exactly what did you `borrow' from Luna?”

“Haven't the foggiest. The girls were making certain I had everything and Luna insisted that this was the very thing I needed.” Reaching up to touch her earrings, she smiled. “These belonged to my grandmother; they count as the `something old'.”

Touching the cameo that lay around her neck, she nodded. “This was a gift this morning from Mum and Dad, the `something new'.”

Hefting the small velvet bag in her hand, she shrugged. “Luna insisted that this would come in handy, but she needed it back after the reception, so it became the `something borrowed'.” With that declaration, she smirked.

Seeing that she was stopping for some reason, Harry raised an eyebrow. “And the `something blue'?”

“That, Mr. Potter, you'll see when we finally are alone tonight and I'm out of this twenty-five pounds of silk, lace, and ivory.” Seeing the look in his face, she nodded and grinned. “I'm certain you'll be very happy to remove the something blue yourself.”

Chuckling, Harry nodded. “I seem to remember seeing some wrapping paper from Nimue's Secret, that wouldn't have anything to do with it?” Seeing the grin on her face, he rolled his eyes. “And to complete the ensemble, there's a sixpence in your shoe?”

“Yes and the bloody thing is coming out sometime between our second and third dance at the reception tonight, thank you very much.” Shaking her head, Hermione lifted her left foot from the ground and sighed. “But that brings us back to why we're here.”

Looking at the small bag, she wrapped her fingers around it. Feeling the shape of the object within, she shook her head. “Honestly, I really can't tell what it is without looking.”

“Well our friends here seem to think we need to use whatever it is, and I don't think they're going to allow us to go home until we do.”

Taking that as license to proceed, Hermione opened the small bag and dropped its contents into the palm of her hand. Staring in disbelief, Hermione looked up at Harry in shock, to see him staring at the stone in the palm of her hand. A stone inscribed with a triangle surrounding a circle, bisected by a straight line.

“Harry, is this…?”

“Hermione, how did Luna…?”

Shaking their heads as both of them had spoken at once; they both stared at the innocuous looking stone in her hand. Looking up at each other, they could see the love shining in the eyes of the other.

“Three times?” Looking steadfastly at her husband, Hermione swallowed as she could feel the emotions radiating from the love of her life.

“You don't have to do that, I have everything in life I need.” Shaking his head, Harry frowned. “Dumbledore…”

“Dumbledore forgot the bloody thing was part of a Horcrux and cursed himself trying to undo his past. I'm not undoing anything. I'm simply giving a gift to the one man who's given so much. It worked once for you, it will work once for me.” Closing her eyes, she turned the stone over three times in her hand.

As she finished, she could hear the sharp intake of breath from Harry. Opening her eyes, she stared in disbelief.

A few feet from them, standing in a group, were five individuals. Three of them she recognized immediately and there was no mistaking the identities of the other two.

“Mum, Dad?” Harry's shocked whisper broke the tableau, and Lily and James Potter, Remus and Tonks Lupin, and Sirius Black all surged forward, very corporeally.

“It's the Etheric. A bridge between our world and the next. They're actually here.” Hermione nodded as his parents engulfed Harry in a hug. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she watched as her husband was hugged by his parents for the first time that he could ever remember.

Starting as she felt a touch on her elbow, she turned to face Tonks, hair a bright bubblegum pink and sapphire tears streaming down her cheeks. “Thank you so much for loving my son,” was all she said before she wrapped Hermione up in a hug and started crying.

Looking at Remus, who was standing there and watching them both, she smiled. “He knows who you are, and he loves both of his fathers equally.”

“Hermione, we've been watching and we couldn't be prouder of him, or of you two.” Looking over her shoulder, Remus laughed. “Padfoot, it seems as if you were right, all those years ago about these two.”

Patting the back of Tonks, who was sniffling into her shoulder, Hermione turned to face a grinning Sirius Black. Shaking her head, she smiled radiantly. “Padfoot, you've been very sorely missed.”

“What about us?” Raising her head, Tonks faked indignation. “Didn't you miss us?”

“More than we can say.” Harry's voice broke in as he came over with his parents. “But before this goes any further, there's an introduction I desperately want to make.”

Reaching out, Harry took Hermione by the hand and wrapped his arm around her waist. Turning he nodded to the pair standing there, waiting. “Hermione, this is James Potter and Lily Evans Potter, my parents. Mum and Dad, this is Hermione Jane, the love of my life.”

Nodding, Hermione smiled as she studied the pair across from her. James was taller than Harry, but the resemblance was a bit uncanny, especially since Harry was now older. Lily had a presence that transcended her physical stature. While Hermione could see the superficial physical similarities between this witch and Ginny Weasley, she immediately recognized a kindred spirit. But it was the eyes that drew her in, the same eyes that Harry had, the eyes that had drawn her to him years ago.

Taking charge, Lily Potter smiled at her husband. “James, why don't you four catch Harry up to speed on things, let him know how we've missed him while I speak with Hermione.” Seeing the look on her son's face, she smiled as she rose up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. “Harry James, we'll talk before you two have to go back, but I'm going to have a discussion with this young witch here.”

Chuckling, Hermione leaned over and kissed Harry on the other cheek. “Harry, it'll be fine. This is the only chance your Mum and I are going to have to chat for probably a very long while, so please excuse us and catch up with rest of the Marauders.” Seeing the skeptical look on his face, she laughed. “Take the time to think up a good prank for them to pull on Albus and for you to pull on George.”

Holding out her hand, she smiled. “Ready, Mrs. Potter?”

Lily grinned and nodded. “If you are, Mrs. Potter.” Seeing Harry's head snap around as he heard his bride called `Mrs. Potter' for the first time, she laughed. “Pay attention, Harry. Your days of flying by the seat of your robes are over. There's finally a `Mrs. Potter' around to make certain you toe the mark.”

“I think you're giving me a bit too much credit there, Mrs. Potter.”

“Hermione Jane, it'll either be `Lily' or `Mum' from here on out. The only person you should have called Mrs. Potter on a regular basis would have been Harry's grandmother, God rest her soul.” Smiling at the younger/older witch as they walked away from the others, Lily chuckled. “Especially since I'm stuck at twenty-one for the most part, it wouldn't be seemly for you to do anything but call me by my given name, no?”

“Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I'm inclined to agree Lily.” Looking a bit shy, Hermione glanced back over her shoulder to where Harry and the others were laughing and talking. “But don't you want to spend this time with your son?”

Making a gesture with her hand, a pair of chairs appeared out of the mists. Seating herself, Lily waited until Hermione took the other seat before answering.

“Hermione, James and I discussed this when this little plan was put together. I love my son desperately, and the fact that I was only in his life for eighteen months tears at me, but the thing I want to do is express my gratitude to you for saving Harry's life.” Nodding at the stunned look on her face, she smiled sadly. “For being his life.”

“Lily, Harry and I are partners, we always have been. I've been there for him because that's where I wanted to be. Before I realized I loved him, I knew that we were best mates, and we always would be.” Shaking her head, Hermione looked down at her hands. “I just hope I can make him happy.”

“Hermione, I'm willing to wager anything you'd care to mention that every moment my son has been even remotely happy centers around you. If you weren't part of it, you were there sharing the moment with him.” Waiting for Hermione to look up, Lily nodded and took a deep breath.

“Actually I'm horribly jealous.” Seeing the look on Hermione's face, she chuckled. “Not of the fact that my son loves you desperately. That makes me happier than I can express. What I'm jealous of is the fact that you're the woman who's mainly responsible for him being the man he's become.”

“Nonsense, from what everyone's told me, he's got so much of you in him, along with James.” Nodding at the other witch, Hermione smiled reassuringly. “He's definitely your son.”

“Thanks to the bloody disaster that my sister and her ogre of a husband made of Harry's childhood, when you met my son he was balanced on a knife edge. He could just as easily ended up as vile and corrupt as Tom Riddle rather than as he did.” Shaking her head, Lily smiled reassuringly at Hermione.

“You're the reason he didn't, the reason he became the man who was capable of defeating Tom Riddle, despite the pitiful attempts of my sister to raise him and the equally pitiful way Albus `prepared' him to meet that challenge.” Fire flashing in her eyes, Lily nodded approvingly at the matching fire in Hermione's.

“There are so many things I don't understand about all of that.” Shaking her head, Hermione glanced over at her husband, who was still talking and laughing with the others. “How could Albus have just blindly accepted that one interpretation of that bloody prophecy?”

“Albus was, and is, incredibly fond of being right. Once he made up his mind on something, it would take force majeure for him to change it; he would work tirelessly to make events turn out as he thought that they should. He claimed it was for the `Greater Good', but it was really because he was Albus Bloody Dumbledore and he was always right.” Stopping for a moment, Lily watched as Hermione thought over what she was saying.

“When I was alive, I respected Albus for the most part. There were things that didn't set well, but I accepted what he told us.” Shaking her head, Lily sighed.

“Death, however, gave me a quite different perspective on things.” Seeing the look on Hermione's face, Lily nodded. “Believe you me; once I was on the other side of the veil, I understood a great many things that had perplexed me while I was living. I gave Albus quite a piece of my mind as soon as he set foot on my side of the veil.”

Nodding in satisfaction, Hermione eyed Lily for several seconds, trying to decide how to ask the other question that had troubled her since the end of the war. Looking the other witch in the eye, she nodded. “There's one thing that's bothered me, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

“Oi, I wondered how long it would take you to get around to Severus.” Seeing the shocked look on her face, Lily smiled ruefully. “Hermione, you and I are too much alike. If I were you that would be the question I couldn't imagine asking and the one that I couldn't imagine not knowing the answer to.”

“Well, yes.” Biting her lower lip, Hermione waited for Lily to begin.

“Severus was my friend from before I got my letter. I knew he was different, and he understood why I was different. As soon as my magic began to manifest, Severus would explain things to me, convinced me I wasn't going insane.” Smiling sadly Lily nodded at the shocked look on Hermione's face.

“For my first few years at Hogwarts, Severus was my closest friend, despite the fact I was a Gryffindor and he was a Slytherin. Among the many things we had in common was the fact that we both had very little use for one James Potter.”

Giggling, Hermione nodded. “Harry let me read the letters he has of yours. I believe the phrase you used was `insufferable toe-rag'?”

“Among others, which I wouldn't have used in a letter home to Mum.” Seeing the look on her face, she smiled. “To make a long story short, Severus and I grew apart as time passed. He followed the people in his house into the ranks of being a Death Eater, and I became more the Gryffindor in return, I suppose. I knew Severus fancied me, but I never realized that it had become a love, an obsession really, that would rule his life until I realized exactly who it was that warned Albus about Voldemort's intent to slay me, my husband and child.”

“And now?”

Shaking her head, Lily shrugged. “I've forgiven Severus for his part in our deaths; he really did try to make up for telling Voldemort about the prophecy. He spent the rest of his life paying penance for that.”

“But?” Smiling knowingly, Hermione watched Harry's mother as she lowered her eyes.

“But, while I can be civil to him, and I am grateful to Severus for the things he did to protect Harry, I'm still troubled by the things he did to Harry over the years.”

“Would it help if you thought about it as part of his cover, he needed to dislike Harry to keep Voldemort from realizing he was protecting him?” Genuinely perplexed, Hermione voiced her own rationalizations regarding her mixed feelings for her former professor.

“That still doesn't explain Harry's first year. I fear that Harry was caught in Sev's conflict between his love for me and his hatred of James.” Sitting back, Lily stared upward, seeking guidance or answers or … something she knew not.

The two witches continued their conversation, sharing insights and anecdotes about Harry. While Lily was able to delight Hermione with stories from the brief time she had with him, Hermione was able to provide Lily with a very different perspective of the things Harry had lived through.

After about half an hour, James came over with his arm around Harry. Nodding to his wife, he grinned. “Lily, I'm going to steal this lovely young woman from you and let you have a chance to catch up with our son.”

“James, behave yourself.” Turning to Hermione, Lily's eyes twinkled as she nodded towards her husband. “Pay him no heed; he was always an incorrigible flirt, something I think he picked up from spending a bit too much time with one Sirius Black.”

Looking over at the aforementioned Marauder, who was pantomiming pulling a knife from his back, she snorted. “Sirius, don't make me tell these two about your exploits. I know names and places.”

Seeing the look of horror on his face, she nodded. “Harry and I are going to sit here and chat, Dora why don't you and these three miscreants catch Hermione up on everything for a few moments.” Looking down at the watch on her wrist, she sighed. “We've got time, but not all afternoon.”

Standing, Hermione smiled as she gave Harry a kiss on the cheek. Whispering, “Behave” in his ear as she stepped away, she smiled at Dora as they walked a bit away.

“Tonks, Harry and I have tried our best to raise Teddy the way we think you would want.” Smiling at the `older' witch, Hermione realized to her disquiet that she was now as old as the auror had been the night of the Final Battle.

“Hermione, both Remus and I are very content with how our son is being raised.” Putting a subtle emphasis on the word `our', Tonks nodded at the look in Hermione's eyes. “He's your and Harry's son as much as he's ours. We've kept watch over him, and I'd like to think that the stories you've told him of us have made some small impact on him, but the credit for raising him to be an outstanding young wizard belongs to you and that rascal over there.” Nodding towards where Harry and Lily were sitting, Hermione could see that Harry was very animatedly explaining something to his mother, much to her evident amusement.

“I trust both Mrs. Potters are satisfied with each other?” Smiling, James nodded to his daughter-in-law as he watched the expression on her face.

Looking up and flashing him a guilty smile, she nodded. “Sorry about that. Sometimes I just get caught up in watching him.” Turning back to the group, she nodded. “Minerva has dropped some hints over the years, but she's an incredible witch.” Shaking her head, Hermione blinked away a tear. “I can't imagine what Harry would be like if the two of you had been able to raise him.”

“Hermione, that's something we'll never know, but Lily and I are both very aware that a great deal of the credit regarding Harry becoming the man he is belongs to you.” Nodding to his friends, James smiled. “Arthur was a good influence, as were these three, but your love and the support that you unfailingly gave him made the difference.”

“Something we've all expressed to Albus on numerous occasions over the years.” Sirius added, his usually bright eyes clouding a bit at the mention of their former Headmaster. “Albus spent that first year being quite the pariah on our side of the veil.” Nodding to Dora, he chuckled.

“I believe your first words to him were, `You contemptible old fool,' or something to that effect.” Shaking his head as Tonks' hair cycled from pink to electric blue, he smiled at the indignant look on her face.

“It was no such thing. I clearly remember calling him a `heartless plonker and contemptible old fool'.” Shaking her head, Tonks chuckled. “He was so shocked I laid into him first thing he forgot himself and made matters worse.”

“He didn't use `The Name That Must Not Be Named', did he?” Laughing at the expression on Tonks' face, she turned to Remus. “What happened next?”

“All I can say is that `Now Nymphadora…' were the last words Albus got out for almost two hours. Dora started with `What in Merlin's name were you thinking hiring Quirrell for the Defense post?' and didn't stop until she was threatening to build a bonfire and roast him over it for leaving Harry with the Durselys.”

Shaking his head, Remus kissed his wife gently on the cheek. “I honestly think Albus forget he was dead for a moment, he was so worried. The only thing that got her to stop was the fact the Final Battle was going on at Hogwarts and it was almost sunrise there.”

Shaking her head, Hermione nodded at the older witch. “Dora, don't worry, I'll finish the job you and Lily started, someday.”

Changing the subject, the five gossiped about what the four had seen over the years from their various perspectives regarding Harry and Hermione's relationship and how many times they had thought the two of them were going to finally figure things out.

Finally, Harry and Lily rejoined them. Hermione took her husband's hand, but was surprised when Lily embraced her. “Take care of my baby boy.” Lily whispered in her ear as Hermione returned the hug.

“Until we come to join you, and even then.” Hermione answered, tears forming in her eyes.

Turning to face the others, Hermione stepped over to Tonks and embraced her. “I'll tell Teddy his Mum loves him.”

Smiling sadly, Tonks nodded. “He knows you love him. Remind him his mother loves him also.” Seeing the expression in Hermione's eyes, she nodded. “I'm his mother, and I'll always love him. But you're `Mum', and I'm very thankful that you've been there for him for all these years.”

Nodding, Hermione stepped over to where Harry was standing, and put her arms around him. “Are you all right?”

“I couldn't be better.” Shaking his head ruefully, he sighed. “You wouldn't believe exactly what this means to me.” Stopping and looking over at his mother and then back to his wife, he smirked. “Or maybe you would.”

“Mum, I promise I'll remember what you said about dealing with `headstrong, overly curious witches'.” Nodding cheekily, Harry smiled as his mother reached out and took both their hands.

“Stop being a prat, Harry. You can tell your wife that I said you were supposed to cherish this young woman and keep reminding her that you love her.” Shaking her head, Lily winked at Hermione. “I'd say he's all yours now, dear, but he's been `yours' for quite a while now, so all I'll say is take care of our Harry.”

As the group prepared to part ways, Sirius assured the young couple that the five of them were more than capable of finding their way back to where they belong. “And your patronuses will see you back to the wedding reception, you should beat your guests since they have to take the carriages from the train station.”

Looking at all of them, Harry nodded. “Thank you all for being here and I'm very grateful for having this chance. I'll treasure these memories, always.”

“Hang on to this one, Son.” James laughed at the look on his son's face. “Fred sends his best, and a reminder that you're still a partner in the family business, so a bit more mischief on your part would be appreciated.”

Putting his hand on the back of Prongs, and seeing that Hermione had Starlight cradled in her arms, Harry nodded, blinking back tears. “It looks as if our ride home is ready to leave.” Seeing the look on his mother's face, he nodded. “We'll give the `Something Borrowed' back to Luna as soon as we see her.”

“Harry, not until after your bride throws the bouquet, it's bad luck.” Shaking her head, Lily smirked at Harry's eyeroll. “It is.” Turning her head to Hermione, she wagged a finger at her in a mock scolding fashion. “And that means keeping that bloody sixpence in your shoe until after you do that, young lady. And no carping about blisters, either. You're a witch, for Merlin's sake. I can't believe you've been with my son this long and haven't learned at least a few healing spells.”

“Guilty as charged, Ma'am.” Seeing the warning flash of fire in the eyes of the redhead, Hermione shrugged. “If I'm `young lady', then you can be `Ma'am', Ma'am.”

“Hermione, take care of that rascal, we'll be watching for you two to life your lives and raise all of our grandchildren well.” Nodding, Lily snuggled against her husband as the two prepared to leave.

Seeing that they were set to depart, Hermione gave Harry a look for several seconds. When he nodded she smiled and turned back to his mother. “Lily?”

“Yes?” Eyes twinkling, Lily nodded to the pair as she squeezed her husband's hand.

“Could you pass Albus a message for me? It has to do with what we were talking about earlier.” Hermione could see Lily's eyes widen a bit, but the red-haired witch nodded carefully.

“I can do that. I had thought you'd want to speak to him in person.”

“Oh, I most certainly do, but since `face to face' is going to not be for a while, and I'm uncertain if I should begin this conversation in the Headmistress' office since he's free to walk away before I'm finished, I just want you to pass along this sentiment. Going on with what you told me about your `conversation' with him and what Dora told him, this should tide him over until we meet in person.”

Lily closed her eyes for just a second, as she replayed her conversation regarding their departed Headmaster over in her head. She opened her eyes, and a look of amusement came over her features. “I'd be most happy to deliver your message, Hermione. What should I tell Albus?”

Ignoring Harry's attempt to get her attention, Hermione smiled sweetly and nodded. “Just tell him that he should consider the words of a very wise man. `For now we see through a glass, shrouded in mysteries; but eventually we'll see face to face: Now I know in part; but then I will know that which has been hidden as easily as I have been known.'”*

Nodding, Lily thought for a second and then started laughing. Shaking her head, she smiled brilliantly. “I'll be certain to pass the message along. If nothing else, if should keep Albus wishing you good health and good luck for a very long time.”

Hermione took Harry's free hand in hers and squeezed. Smiling and nodding, she looked down at the otter resting in the crook of her arm. “Well, I think we have a party to attend.”

Both nodded to each other, just as the glow coming from their patronuses intensified. A brief pulse of light, and they were gone.

Shaking her head, Tonks looked at the others. “Did anyone other than Lily understand what she meant by that.” Seeing the look on her friend's face, she shrugged. “I've heard that quote before, but I'm not certain what Albus will make of it.”

“It's a quote from Scripture, a letter from a man named Paul to a congregation in the city of Corinth, almost two thousand years ago.” Seeing the look on their faces, she smiled enigmatically. “She's putting Albus on notice that while she doesn't understand everything he did now, when next they meet she will.”

Sirius and Remus both started laughing and shaking their heads. When Lily joined them, both James and Tonks just stared. Finally James shook his head and touched his wife on her arm. “Lily, what's so funny?”

“Sirius and Remus know her; know what she's capable of. She's irate with Albus now. I can't imagine the extent of her anger once she understands everything that he did, that he allowed to happen during Harry's life.”

Nodding, Sirius smirked. “Remember what she did to Umbridge? I think Albus is going to find he's rung up a much larger tally than Dolores ever did.” Looking over at Remus, he saw the wolfish grin on his friend's face.

“Lils, let me know when you plan on delivering your message to Albus. I want to add something, just in case he fails to see the significance of Hermione's warning.”

“And that would be?” Looking at the look in his fellow Marauder's eye, James was beginning to almost feel sorry for Albus.

“Be afraid, be very afraid.”

-----

A/N * The quote is a paraphrase of verse 12, Chapter 13, of Paul's first letter to the Church at Corinth, taken from various translations.

The line, `Be afraid, be very afraid' was used in the 1986 movie `The Fly', but it's unclear if it is original to that work, so I'm giving them credit, just in case.

-->

13. Chapter Twelve - Seating Charts and First Aid

Chapter Twelve - Seating Charts and First Aid

In the silence that followed, the couple was gone.

Nodding in unison, the patronuses faded from view. Speaking from the front of the hall, Kingsley recaptured the attention of the assembled family and friends. “The happy couple will be waiting for us at Hogwarts.” Looking down at his watch, he smiled. “We should be arriving in Hogsmeade Station in three minutes; there will be carriages to transport everyone to the reception.”

Kingsley's words released the moment that the crowd was under, and the sound began to reverberate around the space. As if an enchantment had been released, the crowd began to surge towards the aisle. The wedding party reentered the room from the back, as everyone began talking at once about what just happened.

Shaking his head, Ron looked around the room, trying to spot the bride's parents. Seeing the Grangers happily chatting away with Andromeda Tonks, he made his way through the crowd, acknowledging well-wishers and beaming.

“Alex, looks like we finally got them all straightened around, no?” Standing beside Hermione's father, Ron chuckled at the wistful smile on the older man's face.

“Ron, I really don't think anyone can take any credit for this, but it does appear the waiting is finally over.” Nodding to his grandson Teddy who was making his way towards them, a blushing Victoire Weasley and a giggling Crystal Brown in tow, he sighed. “Though, I do suppose Teddy had a hand in all this.”

Seeing the three approaching, Ron shook his head and chuckled. “Definitely a different trio than we were, back in the day.” Shrugging at the look Alex gave him, Ron sighed. “Totally different dynamic there. Fleur's convinced that Teddy and Victoire have some sort of understanding on an instinctual level, she keeps telling Bill that they're too young to worry about now and when they're older, Teddy is too much Harry's son to worry about the two of them.”

“And I remind my lovely wife that Victoire is definitely her daughter, so that's why I'm worried.” Smiling wolfishly, Bill clapped both of them on the back as he joined them in the conversation.

Arching an eyebrow, Ron looked at the three barreling towards them. “Daddy's little girl worries you?”

Both older men burst out laughing and shaking their heads. Looking at Ron with amused sympathy, Bill nodded. “If you're ever lucky enough to have a daughter, you'll learn full well that daughters are God's revenge on fathers for having been a teenage wizard.” Looking over at Alex, Bill shrugged. “Well, maybe not in your case.”

“Please, I worried about my princess, probably more so since she was so quiet and determined.” Giving Ron a nod, Alex chuckled. “I didn't worry so much about her doing something impulsive, except where Harry was involved, but I knew that once she had thought about it and made up her mind to do something, nothing her mother or I could say would have the slightest impact on what she thought was `right'.”

“Alex, the only thing I can say is that Hermione had more sense than both of us put together. Though Harry could usually get her to go along when he started flying by the seat of his robes, it's really her doing that the three of us are still here.” Smiling as he remembered the days when the `Golden Trio' was in school, Ron nodded as the three finally arrived.

Skidding to a stop, all three were laughing as they nodded to the adults. “Uncle Ron, Uncle Bill, Grandpa Alex.” Crystal Brown was absolutely glowing; her blonde curls bouncing around as she nodded to all three. “Wasn't that the craziest thing you've ever seen?”

“Crystal, trust me. That's not the craziest thing those two have ever pulled off, by a long shot.” Shaking his head, Ron chuckled at the look in the young witch's eyes. “Once they get back, ask them about the time in Sweden when they took down a pair of trolls at the beach with a pair of chopsticks.”

“You've got to be kidding. Did you see that? Their patronuses walked down the aisle with them. That has got to be the most romantic thing ever.” Shaking her head, she turned to Teddy and Vickie who were standing there with her, hand in hand. “You two will do that, I can just see it.”

“Crys, you are so dead.” Looking up at her father, Victoire Weasley smiled winningly at him. “Papa, you know she's just being Crystal, non?”

Looking over at Teddy, whose hair was turning a shade of electric blue that was very striking, Bill Weasley smiled wolfishly at the boy. Reaching up and casually touching his scars with one hand, he turned to his daughter and nodded. “Princess, I know Crystal's just excited about the wedding. I have every reason to believe that we have a long time to worry about your wedding with anyone.”

“Please Papa.” Smiling and nodding, Victoire waited until her father turned to face her Uncle Ron and then added. “Of course we're not going to wait as long as Uncle Harry and Aunt Mi did.” Turning on her heel, she ignored the look on her father's face as she grabbed Teddy's hand. “Come, ma petit chiot, let's go find the twins.”

Pulling Teddy away from the three adults, the pair ran off towards the front of the room where the twins were standing with their parents. Shaking her head, Crystal nodded to Alex Granger before she turned and followed her friends.

Shaking his head, Bill chuckled ruefully. “Little brother, I rest my case. If you ever have a daughter, you'll know exactly what I mean.”

Muttering under his breath, Ron looked over at his wife who was beaming as she was talking to Lavender and Harland. Seeing the look on her face, he smiled and turned back to his brother and Alex. “Bill, I think I'll need to hear your wisdom on raising a daughter in March, so hold that thought for a bit.”

Shaking his head, Bill rolled his eyes at the look on his brother's face. Turning to Alex, he chuckled. “It seems we have a new member of the `Father of a Daughter' club.”

-----

As the wedding party and guests disembarked at Hogsmeade Station, the festive air continued. News of the wedding had begun to spread, and a few of the residents of the wizarding village had come down to the depot to join in the festivities. The fact that the bride and groom were conspicuously missing added to the fun as speculations began to run rampant regarding just where the newly wedded pair were and what they were doing.

Surprisingly, it was Ron Weasley who was trying to maintain some sort of semblance of decorum for his missing friends. Assuring everyone that the newlyweds were up at the castle, Ron kept up a running commentary on Hermione's need to `make certain everything was in order' up at the castle, he deftly deflected any and all ribald suggestions on where the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio were currently.

Alex Granger took his wife's hand as they entered the waiting carriage. The fact that both he and his wife could see the thestrals that pulled the carriages to and from the school where their only daughter had attended had, at first, disturbed him once Hermione had explained the magic surrounding the spooky equines.

Even on those occasions when they had approached the school without benefit of the rings that Hermione had gifted them with two years ago that allowed them to see past the illusions that most muggles saw if they were to approach the castle, they had been able to see the skeletal winged horses that carried people back and forth from the wizarding school.

Hermione had explained to them that the magic that veiled the thestrals from view keyed on mortality, which was the great equalizer regardless of whether one could wield magic or not. His own ticket to viewing the ill-omened equines had come early during his service as a Royal Marine, his wife's on a bleak winter morning when a patient died during surgery despite her efforts to save the young woman's life. Gazing sadly at the gaunt beasts, he squeezed his wife's hand as they settled back for their trip to the gates of the school.

“Knut for your thoughts.” Dragged out of his reverie by his wife's voice, Alex shook himself and sighed. “Just thinking about how much things have changed since that owl landed in the middle of our breakfast table all those years ago.”

“I'm still not certain which was more astonishing, an owl sitting in the middle of our breakfast table, or Hermione calmly saying, `I think this is for me, Mum,' as if the telephone had just rung.”

“The doorbell ringing seconds later didn't help.” Shaking his head, Alex Granger grinned as he remembered their first meeting with Professor Minerva McGonagall. “Honestly, if we both hadn't been so surprised by her presence at the door, the look on her face would have been comical.

“Until we turned around and saw out daughter standing in the kitchen doorway, an owl perched on her shoulder, reading a parchment as if it were the most normal thing in the world.” Chuckling, Helen smiled as she remembered the day their world changed.

“I'm not certain who was more dismayed, Minerva seeing that the notification had beat her to our house, or myself seeing my baby standing there with a bird of prey perched upon her shoulder.” Elbowing her laughing husband severely, Helen nodded. “And you were no help. Instead of saying something helpful, the only thing you could chime in with was `I knew we should have used `Athena' for her middle name.'.”

“It was my grandmother's name,” Alex reminded her. “Once we found out the Professor McGonagall's given name was `Minerva', that explained the glare she gave me when I said that.”

Feeling the carriage begin to slow, the Grangers waited for the thestrals conveying them to Hogwarts to come to a stop before the ornate front entrance to the school. Disembarking, they nodded pleasantly to the pair of students wearing Gryffindor House colors who were acting as greeters before walking to the front of their carriage.

Reaching into the shoulder bag that Hermione had enchanted for her, years ago, Helen reached into a concealed pocket in the bag and pulled out a pair of plastic bags. Handing one to her husband, she opened the other and removed the white lab rat from the bag and held it out to the offside thestral.

Nodding encouragingly to the serpentine equine, she repressed a bit of squeamishness as the spell faded from the rodent as the thestrals gently took the animal from her. Flipping it's skeletal head, the beast caught the squirming rodent in its teeth after a brief flip and crunched once before swallowing the snack whole.

“That's a good boy.” Helen murmured encouragingly as the winged equine nodded its bony head. Shrugging at the look her husband was giving her, she nodded and reached out and took his hand in hers. “I think we've got a wedding reception to attend, no?”

“I do think you're correct.” Shaking his head, Alex started climbing the steps leading up to the castle. Looking over at his wife, who was beaming and chuckling, he nodded. “Think we've got any chance of getting through the wedding reception without something happening?”

“With those two?” Shaking her head, Helen nodded as they strolled through the massive front doors and into the impressive reception hall. “Something interesting is bound to happen before the end of the evening.”

As they crossed to the entrance of the Great Hall, the parents of the bride smiled at the festive air that had overtaken the usually impressive grand hall. The house tables were banished, as was the usual head table. Instead, smaller circular tables were scattered around, with a front table centered in the focal point of the area. Looking to their right, they could see a diagram of the seating area on an easel, with a discrete flashing light indicating their seats.

Making their way to the `Family of the Bride and Groom' table, Helen and Alex nodded to those guests that had made it to the Great Hall before them. Seeing that the Dursleys were there, they made their way to where Petunia was standing beside her seat.

“I'm glad to see you made it safely.” Smiling and nodding, Petunia hugged first Alex and then Helen. “I'm always a bit leery of those thestrals, even though my grandchildren seem to feel that they'd make admirable pets.” Shaking her head, Petunia glanced over to where Chastity was having a very serious conversation with her twins.

“They look much fiercer than they really are.” Smiling, Alex nodded to a pair of house elves that were hurrying about, making last minute changes to the decorations and place settings. “Though I still don't like thinking about the children flying all the way from Scotland to London all those years ago.”

“Harry and Hermione still argue which was scarier, seeing the thestrals while you were riding them, or riding an invisible steed all the way to London.” Luna's voice broke into the conversation as she and her husband joined the small group.

Stepping over and kissing Luna on the cheek, Helen smiled at her. “We saw you two get a carriage well before ours. Did you two take a tour of a handy broomcloset before coming into the Great Hall?” Laughing as Ron turned a classic shade of Weasley red, Helen nodded pleasantly to the embarrassed Best Man.

“We're going to do that in a bit. I had an errand down in the dungeons, had to make certain one of Ronald's classmates was properly looked after for the next few days.” Smiling mysteriously, Luna arched an eyebrow at her husband as he started coughing, trying to stifle a laugh at the memory of their trip down to the castle cesspit. “Though I was more than a bit surprised to see Oliver Wood wandering around down there. I was certain he sent regrets since Puddlemere was playing in Ireland today.”

“Game probably ended early, their seeker's been red hot the last couple of months.” Shaking his head in admiration, Ron chuckled. “Their game against Wigtown last month lasted fourteen seconds.”

“And your vote?” Smiling at the blonde witch, Helen nodded pleasantly to Ron who was still trying not to laugh.

Rolling her eyes, Luna turned to her husband. “What do you think dear? Flying on an invisible winged horse or seeing the thestrals while you were riding them?”

Shaking his head, Ron shrugged as he smiled. “Since you continually confuse the thestrals with puppies, I suppose I'd have to say that riding an invisible flying horse is a tad scarier. Not the scariest thing I ever did, but it was scarier.”

Smiling at her husband's answer, Luna did a double take as she glanced towards the door. Shaking her head, the smile melted from her face as she warily watched a dark-haired witch enter the Great Hall and make her way towards the sidewall. “This is so not good.”

Following his wife's gaze, Ron squinted a bit as he tried to place the witch in question. “She definitely wasn't on the train. I know I know her, but I can't place her face.” Seeing the anxious look on his wife's face, Ron nodded. “Do you want me to go over and see who she is?'

“She's Romilda Vane, and from what I can see, nothing good is going to come of her being here.” Seeing the disbelieving look on her husband's face, she nodded. “I thought she'd gotten over her crush on Harry.”

“Are you certain that's her?” Blushing a bit at the memory of his potion-induced crush on the witch in question that had indirectly led to his being poisoned during his sixth year, Ron stared at the witch as she seemed to be waiting nervously on something. Or for someone.

“She's had a bit of work done, but that's definitely her.” Seeing the surprised look on everyone's face, she smirked. “You don't think that muggles have a monopoly on the concept behind plastic surgery?” Nodding towards the witch in question, she shrugged. “It's usually potions based for the simple changes, but the more drastic changes require quite extensive procedures from healers with very specialized training. From what I understand it's very painful, but since simple glamours and other spells can be dispelled at very inconvenient moments, there's a market for more `permanent' solutions to alter or `improve' someone's looks.”

Looking a bit worried, Helen nodded towards the witch who was leaning against the far wall looking very ill at ease. “That still doesn't explain why she's here. Do you think she's going to try for a very last minute play for Harry's affections?” Shaking her head at the predilection of certain witches to act very outlandishly regarding Harry, she sighed. “Hermione so doesn't need this today.”

Looking around the room, which had filled up considerably while they had been chatting, Luna nodded towards the entrance to the small antechamber off the Great Hall where the four TriWizard champions had been sequestered so many years ago. The door had just opened and the bride and groom, looking especially happy as they entered to a smattering of applause from their friends and family who had gathered to celebrate their wedding, started making their way towards their table. Seeing Romilda start moving towards them with a very determined look on her face, Luna started walking on an intercept course, trying to head off the very serious looking brunette before she could reach the happy couple.

Hurrying to catch up with his wife, Ron looked around and noticed Gryffindor's old quidditch captain, Oliver Wood, heading towards Harry and Hermione also. Seeing that he had his wand in hand, held close to his leg, Ron nodded. “Oliver must have noticed something's off, he's heading that way and he's ready for trouble.”

Turning her head slightly, Luna stopped for a second before changing directions. “That's not Wood, he's corrie-fisted. Whoever that is, they're right-handed.”

Opening his mouth to shout a warning to his friends, Ron watched in horror as the supposed Oliver Wood raised his wand and shouted “Sectumsempra”. As he was doing that Romilda leaped into the air and cut off the distance between herself and the bride and groom, intercepting the gray beam as it streamed towards Hermione. Before he could react, both Harry and Hermione were moving, Harry to deal with the threat and Hermione to aid the fallen witch in front of them.

A beam of silver light shot past Ron's ear as his wife cast a curse towards the attacker. Screams and shouts began to erupt as the assembled witches and wizards realized something was occurring. Harry's wandless disarming of the attacker occurred just before over a dozen spells most of them stunners, but a couple with varying degrees of lethalness mixed in, struck home.

Held in place by the silver beam that Luna was holding with a look of grim determination, the supposed Oliver Wood was battered and bludgeoned by the incoming spells, all of which were trying to knock the would-be assassin in various directions. Letting out a high-pitched scream, the eyes of the attacker rolled back into his head as his features began to shift.

Tugging with her wand as if she were a muggle angler trying to land a particularly difficult fish, Luna watched with satisfaction as the body of the assassin landed with a sickening `thud' in front of Ron. Having removed him from the impact point of the defensive spells from the assembled guests, Luna grimaced slightly at the damage that the attacker had sustained.

“Get Poppy over to see Romilda.” Looking around, Luna saw Parvati making her way towards the group clustered around Hermione. “Parv, I need you over here.”

Kneeling down beside the prone wizard, Luna wasn't totally surprised when the facial features settled into those of Marcus Flint. Slytherin alum, `former' Death Eater, and reserve chaser for Ballycastle. Flint's features were barely recognizable from the damage done by the curses sent his way. Shaking her head at the unbridled stupidity of attacking a member of the Golden Trio in front of dozens of their friends and relatives, she began to cast the basic healing spells she knew to try to stabilize the groaning and whimpering wizard.

“Obviously he hasn't gotten any smarter over the years,” commented Parvati as she slid to a halt on the other side of the badly injured Flint. “If you've got a blood replenishing potion in that magic bag of yours, feed it to him while I try to stop the internal bleeding.” Shaking her head, she looked up for her sister. “Paddy, get your arse over here, Audrey can watch your boyfriend's cute arse while you help me keep this idiot alive.”

As her sister hurried to her side, Parvati looked over to where Hermione, Chastity, and Poppy were working feverishly on the injured witch. Seeing that the situation was well in hand over there, she cast another spell to try to stabilize the battered internal organs of the wizard who was still twitching from the residual spell energy coursing through his body.

Seeing that Luna was pouring a second blood replenishing potion down his throat, with a third held between her teeth in case it was needed, Parvati smiled as she saw her husband kneel down behind her, out of the way but close enough to help if needed. “Hey there, tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Anything I can do?” Looking grim, Dean Thomas glanced around as the crowd was being moved back by the Minister of Magic and a couple of off-duty aurors. Since a majority of the assembled guests were DA veterans, Order members, aurors, or a mixture of the three, there was very little panic. Seeing the husband of Hermione's long-time assistant who was an auror heading towards them, he nodded to Horace Smithers as he assumed a protective stance to his right.

“Dean, go find Petunia, Dudley and the twins, and the Grangers and make certain they're taken care of.” Flashing a smile at her husband, she gave him a wink as he nodded. “Your biggest challenge will be keeping the twins occupied while all of the excitement is going on.”

“I'll dragoon the new Trio into taking care of the twins.” Looking around he saw that the people in question were still standing next to their table, with Teddy and company trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. “I'll get the password from one of the current Gryffindors and I'll take everyone up to Gryffindor Tower. I imagine a chance to poke around up there might keep their minds off things down here.”

“I think he's alone in this.” Looking up at Horace Smithers, Luna nodded seriously. “Ronald and I saw him earlier down in the dungeons, near the door to the Slytherin commons. He was alone at the time.”

“I've got just the auror to take care of that.” Looking around, Horace beckoned to a wizard wearing fairly conservative dress robes. Looking too young to be a graduate, much less an auror, the dark-haired wizard broke into a dogtrot and made his way to Horace's side.

“You called?”

“Irv, any chance you know the password for your old commons?” Seeing the slow nod on the younger wizard's face, Horace smiled. “Why don't you take that healer trainee you came with down to tour your old digs and see if anything's out of place down there.” Nodding towards the still twitching Slytherin alum on the floor, Horace smiled. “Luna and Ron saw him down there earlier; let's make certain he's all alone in his stupidity.”

“Considering Kaelli was a `Puff, I'm willing to wager she never spent very much time down there, if any.” Looking around, he smiled as a short witch with turquoise hair was watching him. Nodding to her, he tilted his head towards the doors to the Great Hall and held up one finger. “She'll meet me over there in a minute. Anything I should be looking for in particular?”

“So far, everyone involved in this is tied to the Bats.” Nodding at the unconscious wizard on the floor, Horace grimaced. “He's one of their reserve chasers, which is probably how he came up with something to use in the polyjuice potion to imitate Wood, they had a match with Puddlemere a few months back. I seem to remember him getting some time in the game and later being ejected for some sort of personal foul.”

“He's a shite chaser, the only reason he's still on the squad is the coach is Slytherin alum, class of '71.” Shaking his head, Irving Jellicoe glanced over at the bleeding witch that Poppy Pomfrey and Hermione were feverishly working on. “I don't remember seeing her play for the Bats.”

Chuckling, Horace smiled at the young auror and shook his head. “I can see that young Kaelli has you well trained. She's one of the Batgirls, the cheer squad for Ballycastle.”

“Curious.” Shaking his head, Irving turned to his left and saw that his date was standing by the entrance to the Great Hall. “Well, I suppose I should head on down to the dungeons to see what my old housemates are up to this time.” Looking down at the injured would-be assassin who had finally lapsed into unconsciousness, he grimaced. “How long are we going to have to live with the idiocy of our past?”

Sliding the sleeve of his robes back, exposing the faded remains of the incriminating skull and serpent tattoo, Luna sighed. “Hopefully people will focus on the fact he's a `former' Death Eater and not his house affiliations.” Looking up from where she was working to stabilize the now unconscious Flint, Luna smiled reassuringly. “I think there will be enough prominent Slytherins that will publicly condemn what happened that people will have a chance to see that this was an individual, not a group thing.” Glancing over at where Romilda was being worked on, she shook her head. “Goodness knows I was guilty of jumping to a conclusion based on a prior incident.”

“Hopefully.” Nodding briefly to Horace, Irving quickly made his way to the double doors and the waiting Healer trainee. Watching him go, Horace smiled.

“Hopefully the fact he's the first muggle-born Slytherin in four centuries will give him a bit of credibility as he moves up the ranks.” Looking around and locating the Minister, Horace exchanged a look with Kingsley. Looking back to Padma, he smirked. “I'm going to brief the Minister. Anything I should tell him?”

“Hush. I'll let him know how this rotter's going to be just as soon as Luna and I get done putting him back together.” Smirking at the indignant snort from her sister as she was casting spells to immobilize the fractured ribs and broken limbs Flint has suffered, Padma rolled her eyes. “Little sis, you're a part of this also. Never fear.”

“Less than two minutes, but you do look good for an older witch.” Shrugging as the unconscious Flint flinched as she tightened the splint she was conjuring for the broken upper leg she was working on, Parvati chuckled. “Don't worry, dear. Kingsley will probably make an honest witch out of you, someday.”

“Ladies.” Without looking up, Luna shook her head. “Do I have to find another idiot for one of you to work on?” Casting a silent spell, a silver nimbus settled around the injured wizard's head. Peering closely at the blue runes that were flashing on the surface of the glowing sphere, she tucked her wand behind her ear and sat back on her heels. “Paddy, what do you make of this?”

“Horace, hold a tic.” Shaking her head, Padma stared at the runes that were slowly streaming past. Looking up, she frowned. “Parv, is this mark what I think it is?”

Shifting her position so she could see the injured wizard's head clearly, Parvati glanced at the display and began swearing in Hindi. Looking up at her sister, she nodded slowly. “It is.”

Looking up at Horace, she frowned. “Call off your baby auror you just sent downstairs to the dungeons. He might be walking into a basilisk's nest.” Seeing the look on the big auror's face, she added softly, “Order of the Path.”

“Just bleeding lovely.” Turning, Horace called his patronus, and began to speak tersely to the silver mastiff. “Irving, hold and observe. I'm sending reinforcements. Send your healer friend back up here to relieve Parvati; she should be heading your way momentarily.”

Gathering herself together, Parvati stood up and looked around. “Think I can pry Harry away from his blushing bride?” Chuckling at the looks everyone gave her, she winked at Luna. “Just thought I'd ask. I'm going to `borrow' Won-won for some muscle.”

Without breaking stride, Luna smiled. “Just remember where you found him.” Looking over at her husband, Luna smiled. “Carefully, dear. Make certain everything's what it seems to be.”

“Oi, I have done this a couple of times.” Leaning over, his kissed his wife quickly before straightening up and glaring at Parvati. “Can't we let a few things rest, Parv?”

Taking his arm, the pair headed towards the exit. “What fun would that be?” Smirking as Lavender joined them, taking his other arm, she giggled at the look on his face. “Don't worry, Won-won. I promised your wife we'd bring you back just like we found you.”

“Now what's the fun in that?” Laughing, Lavender nodded to Luna and turned to look at Horace. “The Path?”

“Looks that way.” Shaking his head, he glanced over to where Romilda was being worked on. Seeing that the three witches working on her had stopped looking quite as grim, he began to relax a bit. “Padma, how soon will you be able to transport this one to the secure ward at St. Mungo's?”

“Give me six minutes for these potions to kick in, and I'll be able to give you a better answer.” Shaking her head, she grimaced. “My usual practice isn't trauma, but I do keep my hand in with the Order, so I'd say that as soon as we get another blood replenisher down him, the two potions I just gave him should make him stable enough to transport and keep him under until we can get him into a warded facility.”

“Think they can deactivate that little deathtrap in his skull in time?” Turning a bit green, Padma shook her head at the fanaticism of the Order of the Path members.

While admiring the utility of the Dark Marks that the followers of Voldemort had carried, the mysterious leader of the Path realized the limitations of an external mark that could be discovered easily. Whoever the witch was behind the Path, she had devised a truly diabolical substitute for the dreaded Dark Marks.

During an arcane ritual, which one in twenty failed to survive, the skull of each initiate of the Path was opened, the bone removed, and a magical `dark mark' was placed on the inside surface before it was replaced. This allowed them to `activate' the mark by thought and allowed for mental communications between the various members who were within visual contact of each other.

It also served as a rather dramatic failsafe since the mark could be detonated with rather spectacular and gruesome results, either by the bearer or remotely by the mysterious leader of the Path. Known, rather ironically, as “The Shepherdess”, she preached that the avowed purpose of the Path was to `shepherd' the wizarding world to `an enlightened state without the limitations imposed by the muggleborn'. Of course, since their means of choice for this is to murder the muggleborn whenever they could, it made them a terrorist group that was almost universally condemned in the modern wizarding world.

“Thanks to his almost target, Marcus here should survive long enough to answer some questions and stand trial.” Smiling grimly, Luna looked over at Hermione as she was finishing up with Romilda. “She was the one that translated those old Inca Empire scrolls that Professor Slughorn had `collected' years ago and realized that their fascination with trepanation could actually have a modern application.”

“Please, Horace Slughorn had one of his Slug Club devotees `liberate' those scrolls seventy years ago from the University at Paititi.” Shaking her head at the strangeness that marked the career of their former Potions professor, Padma shrugged as she cast a final spell. “What made you cast that particular spell on Flint's battered brain box?”

“Just a hunch, really.” Seeing the disbelieving look on Padma's face, Luna smiled mysteriously. “Ronald has mentioned that the aurors have been quietly looking into the activities of Flint. Nothing directly pertaining to him, but someone noticed that several muggleborn who had come into contact with Flint either disappeared or turned up as victims of Path killings. Marcus always was very publicly somewhere else when the unfortunate witch or wizard disappeared, but he seemed to be one reoccurring factor in the background of all the victims.”

“And you just happen to have a flask of Kuka's Tears in your bag on the off chance you run into a Path fanatic?” Kneeling down beside Luna, Hermione nodded seriously as she observed the silver nimbus that encircled Flint's head while noting the peculiar rune covered flask in Luna's hand.

“You're hardly one to talk, Miss `I just happen to have a wyvern's eyelash in my purse'.” Shaking her head, Luna smirked. “I'm sorry, that's Mrs. “I just happen to have a wyvern's eyelash in my purse'.”

“They were on sale.” Shaking her head, Hermione looked at both the witches with her. “You two are just going to drop him off and then head back, right?”

“The show must go on, eh?” Shaking her head, Padma's eyes twinkled mischievously. “I thought you and Harry would use this as an excuse to skip the party and head out on your honeymoon.”

“Not on your life, Padma. Your sister made me promise earlier that nothing would interrupt the reception.” Seeing the puzzled look on her face, Hermione snickered. “Your sister wants to make certain that you get your shot at catching the bouquet.” Seeing the mortified blush on Padma's face, Hermione shrugged. “What can I say, she thinks you need all the help you can get landing Coronet.”

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14. Chapter Thirteen – Making the Catch (Times Two)

Chapter Thirteen - Making the Catch (Times Two)

A/N - First and foremost, an apology. It's been an exceedingly long time between chapters. I've run into a snag with this story and another, and I've had to rethink pretty much everything between where I left off and the ending (which, perversely enough, is already written and sitting there waiting for me to catch up to it). I think I've gotten everything turned around so I can go forward, and hopefully it won't be quite as long before the next update.

The usual disclaimers all apply. Nothing you recognize is mine, the entire Harry Potterverse belongs to JKR and various corporate entities. I'm merely speculating on what might have happened next for the characters. Especially since I can't seem to find that bloody Epilogue anywhere. And now, back to our regularly scheduled mayhem and confusion…

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“And this is a shortcut to the dungeons that most people don't know about.” Brushing aside a tapestry, the subject of which was the Four Founders overseeing the construction of Hogwarts Castle, Irving pointed towards the blank expanse of wall behind it.

“Irv, I hate to burst your bubble, but this doesn't seem to be anything more than the backside of a tapestry. And while it, surprisingly, doesn't seem to need dusting, I don't see this getting us any closer to your old dorm.”

Trying not to laugh, Kaelli Nelson's hair began to change hues from its current turquoise to a subtle mauve, which was a certain sign that she was amused regarding something.

“Ah, ye of little faith.” Smiling mysteriously, the Slytherin alum reached into his dress robes and removed his old prefect's badge. “Observe and learn.”

Touching the badge to the blank wall, the plaster surface began to shift. Suddenly, there were five archways behind the tapestry. The center one was crowned with the Hogwarts seal, the other four with the seals of the four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin from right to left.

“This is how the staff, the Heads, and the prefects are able to respond to things just a tad quicker than they should be able to.” Touching his badge to the Slytherin archway, the plastered wall rolled aside like a scroll, revealing a set of stairs that descended into the darkness. Gallantly gesturing towards the entrance, Irving smiled. “Shall we?”

“My sister is so dead, when I get my hands on her.” Shaking her head in amusement, Kaelli preceded the auror trainee down the stairs. Removing her wand from the spot where it was concealed in the dress robes she was wearing, she cast a faint lumos spell, creating a wan blue light to illuminate the way down.

“That's right; Eileen was a prefect, wasn't she?” Smiling smugly, Irving moved up beside his companion and slid his arm around her waist as they descended down to the dungeon level. “She couldn't have told you about this until after you graduated, even if she would have wanted to.”

“Geas?” Seeing the nod from her companion, Kaelli shrugged. “Still, she could have mentioned something about it since we graduated.”

“It's a trick we like to keep in reserve, tends to add a bit to the mystique of being a prefect, don't you know.” Seeing the wry smile on her face out of the corner of his eye, Irving chuckled. “And it does give one an advantage on getting places on time that no one is particularly eager to give up by making it public knowledge.”

“I presume the ascending flight of stairs provided access to a host of useful destinations?”

“Library, Headmistress' office, Hospital wing, Owlery. You know, the usual.” Smirking just a bit, Irving watched his Hufflepuff girlfriend's eyes widen as she began to put together all the little coincidences across their last three years of school. “What a stinker you are.”

“But I'm your stinker, true?” Whatever else he was going to say was interrupted as they reached the bottom of the stairs and bright silver light sprang forth.

Sitting in front of them was a bullmastiff patronus, which Irving immediately recognized as the patronus belonging to Senior Auror and Team leader Horace Smithers. As they came within range of the patronus, the massive canine looked up at them and began to speak.

“Irving, hold and observe. I'm sending reinforcements. Send your healer friend back up here to relieve Unspeakable Thomas; she should be heading your way momentarily.” Looking expectantly, the canine patronus nodded once and then began to fade away.

“You heard the man, back upstairs with you.” Shaking his head, Irving muttered aloud. “I wonder what came up after we left.”

“And just who does he think he is?” Looking defiant, Kaelli turned to Irving and frowned. “Honestly, I'm not some helpless bint you picked up at the mall.”

“He thinks he's an auror Senior Team Leader, which tends to colour his perspective on the world.” Leaning over and kissing her gently on the cheek, Irving tried to turn her towards the stairs. “And he thinks you're a healer candidate and he's not really looking forward to explaining to Chastity Dursley if something were to happen to you at a wedding, other than getting trampled trying to catch the bouquet.”

“Very funny Irv, and you know what I mean. I'm in the Healer support track, which means I took the auror basic course just the same as you did.”

“And Senior Team Leader Smithers wouldn't take someone who was just through the basic course and put them into harm's way, if he could at all avoid it.” Trying not to lose his patience, Irving was hoping to have his girlfriend on her way before reinforcements arrived.

“Bushwah and you know it.” Shaking her head, Kaelli smiled grimly. “And besides, you're going to get packed off as soon as `help' arrives. If he's sending an Unspeakable, for goodness sakes, then he's probably got at least one senior auror with her.” Seeing Irving nod his head in agreement, she continued. “And if she's sending Parvati Thomas, just how long will it take her shadow Lavender Brown to be on the scene?”

“Which means, knowing Smithers' very warped sense of humor, Team Leader Ron Weasley is probably with the Terror Twins, but what has that got to do with the price of flobberworms in Bulgaria?”

“Easy, we see if we can figure out what's happening, and then we have something to report to your backup.”

“In spite of the fact I was just told to send you packing back upstairs and hold position myself?”

“Of course. We don't have to look suspicious; we'll be just a couple of Slytherin alums coming down to the old Commons. We'll peak our heads, see who's skulking about, you'll look adorably threatening, and then we'll depart and let your backup know what they're facing.” Smiling, Kaelli nodded as she could see he was actually considering what she was saying.

“A brilliant plan, Kael, except for one bloody detail. You're a Puff, and no one is going to buy you pretending to be one of the snakes. I really don't see anyone mistaking you for Karrin Harrington, Derbail O'Connor, or Daphne Greengrass.”

“Irving, I might be a Puff, as you so gallantly put it, but I'm also a metamorphmagus.” Smiling wickedly, her features began to rearrange themselves into the semblance of one of Irving's old housemates, Grimlock Michaelson. “You said it yourself, Michaelson got himself picked up last night by the muggle constables for drunk and disorderly down in Cardiff. And since he managed to misplace his wand while doing so, he's going to be in the lockup until at least Monday since he doesn't have any valid id for the muggles unless someone from the Ministry goes and collects him.”

“I don't know.” Thinking out all of the variables in his head, Irving slowly smiled. “I don't suppose it could be too bad. Old Flint was never the fastest broom in the shed, he's probably just pissed that life had left him as a second-place tosser and decided he was going to cause as much havoc as he could and escape during the confusion. It's not as if he's actually smart enough to be part of anything too serious”

Nodding to his partner, Irving looked at the wandlight for a second. After Kaelli put out the telltale light, he gently eased the door open.

In the flickering torchlight of the dungeons, they could see the entrance to the Slytherin commons. Stepping out into the passageway, the pair strode quickly towards the entrance. Entering the dungeon, they stepped into the common area, looking around the dimly lit room.

“Just like old times, eh Grimmy?” Irving asked as he looked around. Seeing that the floo was lit with a green light, he wandered towards the stairs that led up to the dorms. “Want to see which firsties they've got parked in our old spots?”

As he turned to his companion, his eyes turned towards the floo, as did `Michaelson's'. His eyes widened as he saw the squat, toad-faced witch sitting at the other end of the floo connection.

Trying to keep his features calm, he nodded to his companion, trying to drag her attention back from the floo as she was obviously staring in disbelief. “Might as well head up and see what a mess they've made of our old digs, eh?” Jamming his elbow into her side, he snickered at the subtle `oof' that came out as he regained her attention.

“Right, that's an excellent idea.” Nodding lazily, mimicking the mannerisms of their old classmate who had raised the concept of `indolent' to an art form, Michaelson/Kaelli nodded towards Irving. “Shall we?”

As Irving led the way up the short flight to the entrance of the quarters for the Slytherin students, both kept their ears peeled for any sound of someone coming through the floo connection behind them. As soon as they were safely through the door, Irving placed his prefect's badge against the first door they came to and ushered his companion inside.

“What is Dolores Umbridge doing sitting in a floo connection to your old common room?” Looking around in a panic, as if an enemy were about to jump out from underneath the bed, she turned her attention back to Irving. “She's got twenty some years or so left on her `community service' sentence that the court gave her to serve at St. Mungo's.”

“Remember who put the nail in her coffin at her trial?” Seeing Kaelli's eyes go wide as she shifted back to her normal form, Irving nodded. “Word was that Hermione Granger orchestrated that entire trial just to pay Umbridge back for what she did to Potter during their fifth year.” Shaking his head, muttering “We're so busted” under his breath, Irving produced his wand and cast a patronus spell.

Looking resignedly at the silver fox that was sitting, grinning at him, Irving swallowed once and began.

“Take a message to Unspeakable Thomas and then Team Leader Smithers. We're in the Slytherin dorms, sorry about the mix-up. No one in the common room, but Dolores Umbridge was on the other end of an open floo connection. All she saw was a couple of Slytherin alums looking around and heading up to their old digs. It appears I'm with Grimlock Michaelson; he's currently in a muggle lockup in Cardiff, so that alibi should be airtight for the moment.

We'll wander around up to my old room and see if we can suss out anyone else in here, but it looks as if Umbridge is waiting for Flint or someone to return, so as soon as she sees your group, she'll know something's fishy. Let us know if you want us to go create a diversion. Jellicoe, out.”

Winking cheekily at him, the fox grinned and then dashed towards the door. Disappearing just before it would have collided with the door, the illumination in the room returned to its normal levels. Looking over at his companion, he sighed, “Better put your Slytherin face back on, we might as well make ourselves useful before I get drummed out of the auror corps.”

“No one's that much of a hard case, at worst you'll be pegged as one of those annoying individuals who is a bit too sneaky for their own good.” Giggling at the long-suffering look he gave her, she smiled. “But, they already know you're a Slytherin, the only surprise will be if they're surprised you did this.”

Just as she was shifting back to the likeness of their old classmate, the room was lit up by the appearance of a silver minx, who apparently was having the time of her life. Smirking, or as much as a mink can, she winked at both of them.

“Almost thought I was listening to one of Harry's excuses, back in the day. Horace is going to rip you a new one when you get back upstairs, but since you've already stepped in it, you might as well be useful. Carefully check out the rest of the dorms, we'll let you know if we need you as a screen for our entrance. If you two are attacked, you are authorized to defend yourselves by any available means. As your grandfather would have said, `Weapons clear'. Good hunting, Jelli. Rescue One out.”

Doing a back flip, the patronus blew a raspberry at the pair and then faded away. Feeling the look she was giving him, Irving grinned.

“Unspeakable Brown is on her way with Thomas, so that means we've got a bit of leeway.”

Having shifted back, her voice was now the gravelly bass of Michaelson. “Weapons clear?”

“One of her grandfathers served with one of mine in the Royal Navy during the Great War. Apparently she feels that entitles her to twit me about it whenever she gets a chance.” Shaking his head, he continued, watching her out of the corner of his eye. “And none of our friends ever hears about `Jelli'. Got it?”

“Right, Jelli. Not a word.” Trying not to smirk, which never looked natural on Michaelson's face even when he was doing it, Kaelli reached for the closed door. “What say we wander around your old digs and see who we can find skulking about?” Looking around the room as Irving was opening the door and checking the hallway for lurkers, she chuckled.

“Everyone in your house got a single?”

“Of course. We might not be the `Evil Slytherins' any longer, but can you really imagine a house dedicated to sly, sneaky trickery and getting ahead at any cost sharing quarters?”

“I suppose not. Though this does beg the question why you never tried to sneak me up to your room last year.” Walking down the hallway towards the stairs leading up to the next level, Kaelli chuckled as she shook her head. “Hopefully no one's listening to this, or you and old Grimmy will have quite the reputation to live down.”

“Hush, and try to stay in character.” Jellicoe stopped and cast a hominum revelio on the stairs up. “The stairs are clear; we'll check again when we get to the next level. Fortunately, `our' old digs are on the top floor, so we can go all the way up until we're recalled.”

As the pair ascended the stairs, they kept a running dialogue regarding their, supposed, training schedules as they wandered about. While Irving was able to quite sincerely speak to the requirements of auror training, `Grimmy' was having quite the time adlibbing the perils faced by a new employee monitoring the floo network. Irving found himself becoming more amused at the scandalous innuendoes his `old housemate' was able to throw into conversations regarding unlisted floo hookups, and various public persons wanting their floo access records `mislaid' for specific periods of time.

“And I hated to tell the old wanker that if his mistress didn't have her records wiped, then his wife would still be able to find out he's been flooing in witches every time she goes to visit her sister in Calais.” `Grimmy' finished after a perfectly scandalous story regarding the ongoing foibles of one Ludo Bagman.

“Are you making this whole thing up?”

Giggling, which was totally out of place for Michaelson, Kaelli shook her head. “One of my dormmates worked for a couple of years in floo registration before she started healer training. The stories she can tell…” Breaking off, at the sight of someone entering one of the dorm rooms at the end of the hallway, she whispered. “This is your old floor, correct?”

“Yes, and if that was a firstie, them I'm the Duchess of York.” Glaring at his companion, daring her to shift into the likeness of the aforementioned celebrity, Irving raised an eyebrow as `Michaelson's' hair took on a faint ginger hue for a moment.

“Whose room was that?” Ignoring the look Irving was giving her, Kaelli strained to listen for any sound. Closing her eyes to concentrate, she shifted her ears until they looked uncannily like those sported by Hector, the house-elf who worked for the Minister of Magic. Holding up her hand, she concentrated for several seconds before opening her eyes.

“Harrington's. But it was empty all last year, she was Head Girl, and I can't imagine Karrin leaving anything remotely useful behind and not noticing it for an entire year.”

“They're doing it rather quietly, but someone's going through drawers and cabinets down there.” Seeing the look on Irving's face as her ears shrunk back to normal, she smiled. “Grew up with four younger sisters, learned how to catch them going through my things at a very early age when I was home on hols.”

Nodding towards the end of the hallway, the pair walked cautiously towards the end of the hall. Passing the door in question, they stopped in front of the door just past it on the other side of the hall.

“Wonder if the new occupant found all of the stuff we stashed under the wardrobe, eh Grimmy?” Touching his prefects badge to his old room door, the door unlatched and swung open, with a faint creak as it opened out into the hallway.

Motioning to the side of the door that would be behind the door across the way when it opened, Irving continued talking. “I can't believe I left that potions journal. I'm going to need your help to get it, Grimmy old chap.” Getting Kaelli in place, Irving cast a silent disillusionment on her than then on himself.

As he took up his place on the other side of the doorway into his old room, he reached over and pulled the door shut.

As the door shut, the door across the hall opened and a cloaked figure peered out. From his vantage point across the hall, all he could see was the outlines of a face inside the hood in the dimly lit hallway. Watching the shadowed figure look down the hallway as far as they could see, Irving held his breath as the lurker stepped quietly into the hallway. As they turned to gently ease the door shut, Irving attacked.

“Expelliarmus!”

Snatching his opponent's wand out of the air, Irving was unprepared when the lurker turned and immediately unleashed a physical attack on him.

Shifting to one side at the sight of the dagger in the hand of his attacker, Irving tried casting a holding spell, but his Petrificus Totalus slid around his mysterious assailant, indicating a shield was in place. However, either the shield didn't take into account someone being behind the person being defended, or when Kaelli took her wand and applied the tip of it to the back of the mysterious attacker's neck the surgical prep spell she cast bypassed whatever protections that were present. Either way, Irving's attacker flopped to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut.

Staring in each other's direction for several seconds in a futile attempt to reassure themselves that the other was unhurt, Irving shook his head and cancelled the disillusionment spells as Kaelli quickly knelt and began checking the vitals of the figure on the ground. Seeing the faded serpentine tattoo on the arm of their assailant, Kaelli paused for a second in her exam.

“Breathing is strong, pulse is steady, and this Death Eater bitch is going to wake up with a terrible headache in about four hours.”

Kneeling beside her, Irving reached over and squeezed her hand before speaking.

“You were magnificent there. Remind me of that the next time I start needlessly worrying about you.” Reaching down, he twitched back the hood revealing the face of their assailant.

“She's dead!”

“I thought you just said that her vitals were good?” Staring down at the unconscious witch lying on the floor, he shook his head. “I wonder how long before the polyjuice wears off?”

“Irv, I'm fairly certain it's not polyjuice.” Looking worried, Kaelli ran another scan over their prisoner. “You need to send a patronus off to your backup right this second, this could be very bad.”

“So how am I supposed to explain that we knocked out Andromeda Tonks while she was prowling around the Slytherin dorms?”

“We reviewed a case study workup on this one in one of my practicals. My last scan was one we use to screen people for shapechange, polyjuice and the like. She's not Mrs. Tonks, and that explains the `dead' part. This is her sister, Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black.”

“She's dead.” Seeing the exasperated look in Kaelli's eyes, he shrugged. “Right, you've already covered that.”

“You send your patronus to the three that are heading for your common room; I'm going to send a message to the Headmistress.” Pulling out her DA galleon, she began keying a private message to Professor McGonagall. “This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. But you certainly do know how to show a witch a good time, I'll give you that.”

After dispatching his patronus with an update for the three that were heading for the entrance to the Slytherin commons, Irving looked up and carefully studied the witch who was kneeling on the other side of the prisoner from him. Smiling at the studious look on her face as she was busy keying a rather lengthy message to their old Headmistress, he came to a decision.

“Kael?”

“Give me a mo, this is trickier than it looks.” Glancing up, she stopped as she saw the look on his face. Waiting a second for him to react, she looked down at the coin that was still in her hand. Hitting the commit and send sequence, she placed it back in her pocket and looked back up.

“What?”

“Next wedding we go to, let's be a bit more central to things so we don't get sent off on errands like this.” Watching as her eyes widened, Irving nodded slowly at the questioning look on her face.

“How central?” Rocking back a bit so she was resting back on her heel, Kaelli tried to keep a smile from breaking out. “I thought we talked about waiting until we were both through with training and established before we made any changes.”

“Planning on changing your mind in the next couple of years?” Seeing the amused look on her face, he smirked. “Neither am I. I say we should be very central. Front and center central.”

“Is there a question in there somewhere, Mr. Jellicoe?” Holding his eyes for a moment, Kaelli smiled as she saw that he was sincere. Not just reacting to the moment, but very sincere. “How soon?”

“How long will it take us to convince your dad we mean it?”

“Are you asking me or my dad?” As she waited for his response, the coin in her pocket began to vibrate. Taking it back out, the message was simply `Instructions in route'. Looking back up, she smiled. “He's really not that bad, you've known him for years.”

Before he could answer, the corridor lit up as a silver cat appeared beside them. The patronus took one look at the unconscious witch on the floor, made a scratching motion with her front paw as if covering something, and looked up at the pair in the hallway.

“Unspeakable Brown informed me that she had tasked the two of you with this little field trip into Mr. Jellicoe's old dorm.” The tone of the Headmistress' voice left no illusion that she believed any such thing, but she was going along with the party line, for the moment.

“Secure your prisoner tightly, Mr. Jellicoe. I've been asked to tell you that the Order of the Path may be involved.” Pausing a moment for that to sink in, the cat turned her head and nodded gravely to Kaelli.

“Miss Nelson, Healer Dursley suggests you administer the spell that got Mr. Sinclair suspended from your training group. If your prisoner is a Path member, that should keep her from suiciding until we can get someone to collect her with the proper potions. She'll sign off on the necessary parchmentwork once the two of you return.” The cat sat back and started to fade when it added, “Additional instructions will be coming from Unspeakable Brown, and don't forget to cast a muffliato around her before you leave.”

“Muffliato?” Casting several charms that securely immobilized Bellatrix, Irving looked up to see that Kaelli was blushing furiously and staring in horror at the spot where Headmistress McGonagall's patronus had faded away. “Kael, everything all right?”

“I'm so going to kill Sinclair.” Shaking her head, Kaelli took a long look at the witch lying unconscious on the floor and shuddered. “Irv, if you ever breathe a word about what's about to happen…”

“Considering I don't have a bloody clue what you're going on about, that's pretty much a given. What spell has you this worked up?” Watching her carefully, Irving applied an additional set of restraints to their prisoner before nodding. “I think she's ready for whatever it is you're going to do to her.”

“Are you ready with that muffliato?” Seeing him nod, she closed her eyes for a second. Reviewing in her mind the spell in question, she took into account everything she had read about the Death Eaters and made a slight alteration to the spell that she had discovered in an ancient healer's tome and had mistakenly shared with her study partner Ignatius Sinclair. Opening her eyes, she fixed her boyfriend, now fiancé, with a grim look.

“As soon as I cast the spell, hit her with the strongest muffliato that you've got.” Seeing his amused nod, she took one last look at their prisoner. “And put her on her side, I know she won't be here very long, but I'd rather she not end up in respiratory distress.”

After Irving gently levitated her and turned her onto her side, Kaelli reviewed the spell one last time and began. Taking her wand she moved it in a peculiar pattern and began to intone.

“Fututum somnia violenter ex silentium”

The effect on Bellatrix was immediate. No sooner had Kaelli finished the spell, Bellatrix began to writhe against the restraints, breathing very heavily and imploring Lord Voldemort to continue doing whatever it was she was imagining they were doing. With a whip.

Clearing her throat, Kaelli saw that Irving was watching the effects of her spell, so she reached over and punched him in the shoulder. As he looked up and saw her glare, he quickly cast the muffliato spell. The sounds, which had become more needy and louder, were cut off but the physical effects on Bellatrix continued.

“Do I want to know why you know a spell like that?”

“Walk with me.” Taking his arm, she practically dragged him back to the stairwell in her haste to leave the area. “As part of our coursework, we were assigned ancient texts to transcribe. The one that Sinclair and I were assigned had that spell in it. Apparently Roman healers were assigned to interrogate prisoners for their magical leaders.”

Looking over his shoulder, Irving blushed as he watched the witch writhing on the floor behind them.

“That certainly doesn't look like interrogation.”

“No, but what it does is forces the subject to vividly create and live out their ultimate sexual situation in a dream. There are other spells that allow an interrogator to observe the dream and gain insight into what makes their subject tick. They can also insert themselves into the dream, becoming the person who gives the subject that experience, giving them leverage in questioning.

I wrote up a synopsis of the spell for our practical, noted that it had no acceptable use in modern medicine or polite society and strongly urged it be put on the restricted list. Ignatius, on the other hand, decided to experiment with it and ended up with both him and his girlfriend in St. Mungo's as patients.”

“Ouch. Too much of a good thing?” Taking her hand, they started heading down the stairs, back towards the Slytherin common room.

“Something like that. Apparently he failed to realize that if you're going to do that, you need to have someone to act as a safety to pull you out of it since in your dreams you can keep going far beyond what the physical body could endure.” Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she smirked as she could see there was a question he wanted to ask.

“I know your Latin is better than mine, so you know the basics of what that spell is supposed to do. By all accounts, Voldemort was quite the perv and Bellatrix was his favorite pervette.”

`Ouch again. Let's get back down to the first level of dorms so I can let them know we're in position.”

As the pair wound their way through the Slytherin dorms, they could hear the sound of talking ahead of them. As they reached the last door leading down to the commons, they could hear both sides of a rather heated conversation.

“I really think I should go up there and get her. No telling what she's capable of.”

“And she's as likely to cast a killing curse on you as kiss you if you surprise her. Those two dolts that work for the Ministry went up there; she's probably redecorating a hallway with their entrails by now. My concern is why Flint hasn't attacked that slag yet. The longer he has to pretend to be someone else…”

“All he has to do is prattle on about Quidditch and then dispose of one mudblood. If he waits for the right moment and disillusions himself, he should be able to easily escape in the confusion by `chasing' the attacker. I'm still not certain why we brought Bella anyway.”

“Someone's going to have to pay for killing Potter's slag in front of the Order and half the Ministry; it might as well be her. She wants a go at his ex and the chit's mother. I doubt she's sane enough to take either one of them, but she should create enough confusion that it won't be readily apparent who's responsible. Think about it, she's upstairs ransacking a room that wasn't lived in last year on the off chance that mudblood Harrington left the Head Girl's pin in a drawer.”

“Since she's not a member of the Path…'

“Yes, I know, it'll look like a Death Eater risen from the dead to strike down the ones that struck down the Dark Lord. Are you certain you've gotten rid of whatever it was that allowed her to come back?”

Easing the door shut, they looked at each other for a second.

“Irv, I think we're officially in over our heads.”

“Good thought. Let me let the cavalry know what they're facing.” Summoning his patrons, Irving sent a tersely worded message summarizing the situation, as they understood it, and asking for instructions.

Less than a minute passed before a Jack Russell Terrier patronus arrived. Looking grim, the dog yawned and began to deliver its message.

“When I give you the go, begin a three-minute countdown. At three minutes start down the stairs, don't rush and for Merlin's sake don't act suspicious. Talk about hearing someone wandering around upstairs, but don't let on like you heard or saw anything direct.

At three and thirty, the Headmistress is going to seal the castle. Since there's an active floo connection down there with someone in it, there will be three warning chimes. On the second chime both of you cast an expelliarmus on the floo, we'll be coming through the door and taking care of whomever the Toad is talking to.

If I remember correctly from my second year, your common room is full of heavy old furniture perfect for ducking behind and taking cover. I strongly suggest you two do that as soon as you cast your spells. We've got people in route to all of the open floos at St. Mungo's in case you aren't able to pull the Toad through.”

Pausing for a second, the terrier patronus tilted its head to the side and simply said, “Go” as it faded out.

Beginning the timer spell, Irving carefully watched the beads of light that appeared on the handle of his wand. Taking Kaelli's hand in his free one, he squeezed gently as the time passed.

Fifteen seconds before the three-minute mark, he gently eased the door open and the two, with Kaelli's Slytherin persona in place, started down the stairs.

“I still say someone was rooting around up there Jelli.”

“Probably one of the firsties overslept and is now trying to figure out how to get home from Scotland without admitting they missed the train.”

Reaching the common room, both of them nodded casually to the non-descript wizard who was standing beside the floo, not even looking at the witch on the other end of the connection.

Just as the wizard beside the floo was taking a step in their direction, the lights in the common room flashed and a chime sounded. As the second chime began, both Kaelli and Irving had their wands in hand and cast almost simultaneous disarming spells at the floo, Kaelli's a tad before Irving's.

Ignoring the look of astonishment on the face of the wizard as he turned towards the floo, both began moving towards one of the davenports as a squat, toad-faced witch came rolling out of the floo, the green flames were extinguished, and the third chime sounded. A bronze gate dropped into place, effectively sealing the floo as the door to the commons burst open.

Moving with practiced ease, Lavender, Ron, and Parvati swarmed into the room. As Irving dove behind the davenport, he saw that Lavender cast a ball of silver at the wizard, which flashed into bright white light as it struck. His vision compromised, he missed Parvati wrapping the wizard up in a set of chains and Ron casting a spell that just barely missed the witch rolling on the floor way from the now sealed floo.

Kaelli, who hadn't been looking when Lavender's flare went off, rolled out from behind the davenport and nailed Umbridge in the back with a mildly overcharged stunner as she was leveling her wand at Ron. Propelled forward by the force of the spell, Dolores crashed into Ron, knocking him backwards and ending up on top of him, pinning him to the floor.

Silence returned to the room, followed by hysterical laughter from both Lavender and Parvati as they were both staring at the sight of Ron, flat on his back, with Dolores Umbridge on top of him, her head resting on his chest.

“Get her off me; the cow must weigh twenty stone.” Glaring up from the floor, Ron fixed his gaze on Irving, who was blinking his eyes, trying to recover from the dazzle earlier. “And not one word from you about this to anyone.”

Red-faced and gasping for air, Lavender' blonde curls were moving every which way as she endeavored to regain control. Finally able to talk, she smirked at the prone auror.

“Won-won, I know I promised Luna I'd return you to her unharmed, but this is so not my fault. Honestly, there are seven floors of rooms upstairs; the two of you couldn't wait?”

“Very funny Lav, Try to keep in mind I'm offering a job to your Canadian auror, would you?” Shaking his head in despair, he closed his eyes for a second. “I don't bloody believe this.”

Looking over at Kaelli, who was biting her lip and trying not to laugh, he glared again. “Did she put you up to this, or did you decide this would be humorous on your own?”

“Well, sir,” Kaelli began, trying vainly to think of something, anything, to say. “My first thought was that whatever spell she was getting ready to send your way; she definitely wasn't planning on kissing you.” Seeing the shocked look on his face, and the gobsmacked look on the two witches who had accompanied him into the room, she let loose a small grin. “Stopping her from casting the spell was my best bet. My youngest sister is friends with Teddy and that lot; I'd hate to have to explain how I let his uncle get hexed without doing anything about it.”

“The girl's got brass ones, no doubt about it.” Eyes twinkling, Parvati levitated the still-unconscious Dolores Umbridge away from Ron and dropped her unceremoniously on the floor beside him. Looking over at her partner and best friend, she winked. “You want to play recruiting sergeant for this one?”

At that moment, Luna Weasley came strolling into the room, calm as could be with a trio of potion flasks in her hand. Looking around, she fixed her gaze on her husband, stretched out on the floor with Dolores Umbridge sprawled beside him.

“And here I was worrying about Lavender. Is there anything here I need to know about?” Smirking, Luna looked up at Kaelli and winked. “What say we go upstairs and find that witch you cast your special spell on while my husband kisses Sleeping Toadly?”

“Someone should go collect her, but according to that one,” indicating Umbridge with a vicious jab of her wand, Kaelli returned Luna's smirk with one of her own, “she's not a member of the Path so if you have any of that potion the Headmistress was referring to, you might want to dose these two first before we go up and interrupt Bellatrix's trip down Pervy Alley.”

“For Merlin's sake, will someone give me a hand up, I feel like a herd of hippogriffs landed on me.” Blushing, Ron struggled up onto one elbow and held out a hand. “I'm certain that cow broke something when she landed on me.” Turning to Kaelli, he nodded stiffly. “And, thank you. Whatever she was going to cast was probably worse than having her land on me.”

Irving moved over and offered the fallen auror a hand, getting him back on his feet. Seeing that the older wizard was moving very stiffly, and favoring his ribs on the right side, he got Kaelli's attention and helped Ron over to the davenport that the two of them had recently sought cover behind.

Leaving her to get the basic scans out of the way, he crossed the room to where Parvati was kneeling beside the unconscious wizard that had been in the room. Squatting down beside her, he waited until she acknowledged him before speaking.

“Any idea who this one is?”

“Unless my memory's failing me in my old age, he's Ichabod Kernow. A very quiet and unassuming fellow who, for the moment, works in the commerce section of the Ministry's bureau on international cooperation.” Reaching up a hand, without looking, and catching the rune inscribed flask that Luna tossed to her, Parvati deftly popped the seal on it with her thumb and pinched the wizard's nostrils together with the other hand. As his mouth opened by reflex, she poured the liquid in, casting a small charm that caused him to swallow without choking.

“That's my good little parchment pusher. Sleep the sleep of the innocent until we can get someone to cut your skull open and remove the little pledge pin they stuck in there.” Looking up at Luna, who had just finished dosing Umbridge, Parvati smiled grimly. “I know we've already gotten something for the bride and groom, but if we truss yours up like a Christmas goose, she might make something nice for Hermione to take target practice with while she's on her honeymoon.”

Reaching down and tracing her finger across the goblin-silver cuff that bore the inscription `I must not tell lies' in Harry's spidery script, Luna chuckled. “Harry would make Hermione give her back. Bad for the sprog, getting an expectant mother all worked up on a regular basis. Better we turn her over and let the lads and lassies on Team 12 keep her out of trouble until the lovebirds get back.” Turning to Ron who was still over on the divan, having his ribs attended to by the healer trainee, she smirked. “What do you think?”

“They've all seen the scars and heard the story. They'll volunteer time to sit with her until her trial. Though first she's got a parole hearing coming up, I can't imagine being a member of the Path fits within the restrictions they placed on her keeping her out of Azkaban.” Looking over at Parvati, Ron grinned. “As much as I'd like to be the one to tell her that we've gotten something on this piece of work, I vote we don't mention Umbridge is in custody to the bride or the groom.”

“If you're not going to tell her about the Toad, then the subject of Bellatrix is definitely off-limits.” Shaking her head, Lavender was coming down the steps, the restrained, silenced, but very conscious Bellatrix Lestrange floating behind her. “Since the three of us saw her die, I'm afraid that there's only one good answer for why she's back making our lives miserable.”

“She'll do a nut when she gets back and finds out, assuming of course we can manage to keep it from them until their portkey leaves this evening.” Shaking his head, Ron carefully lifted his arms and only grimaced a bit. Turning to the young witch who was trying to remain inconspicuous, he smiled.

“You do good work. If it were allowed, I'd ask Chastity to second you to our team right now. Finish you training, if you're still intent on working with the auror corps, you'll have a slot with Team 12 if you want.” Looking over at Irving, who was trying not to smile at the embarrassed look on his fiancé's face, Ron chuckled. “You too. Trust me, regardless of what Horace is going to tell you when he reams you a new one, Team 12 has always had its fair share of team members who flew by the seat of their robes, from time to time.”

Just then, bright silver light lit up the gloom of the Slytherin commons. Hovering in mid-air, Starlight, Hermione's otter patronus looked around. Zooming over to Lavender, she perched on the Unspeakable's shoulder and peered down at the furiously struggling Bellatrix.

Barking twice in amusement, Starlight dove from her perch on Lavender's shoulder and zoomed around, coming to rest on the unconscious form of Dolores Umbridge. Shaking her head, she looked over to where Ron was standing, staring open-mouthed and chuckled.

“Do a nut?” Leaping into the air, she pirouetted twice in the air, blew a raspberry at Ron and then disappeared in a flash of silver light.

As Ron, Luna, Parvati, and Lavender all looked at each other in disbelief; the silence of the room was broken by Kaelli's snicker.

"We're so busted."

-->

15. Chapter Fourteen - Toast - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anym

Chapter Fourteen - Toast - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

“You're kidding me, right?”

“Horace, I wish I were. They're bringing both Bellatrix and Dolores up the old prefect stairs from the dungeons.” Shaking his head, Harry looked at his bride in disbelief as she was shaking off the effects of observing the world through her patronus. An advanced technique that a handful within the Order had mastered, Hermione usually found that it took a few seconds before she felt totally in control of her human body.

“Are you pondering what I'm pondering?” Seeing the grin on his wife's face, Harry knew he'd just handed her a straight line that she would be unable to resist.

“I think so Harry, but isn't Bellatrix going to just look silly wearing lederhosen and leading the Wizengamot in a chorus of `I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No'?” Trying to keep a straight face while Horace was staring at her as if she'd lost her mind, she shrugged. “Sounds like Voldemort shared a bit more with Bellatrix than just pillow talk.”

“How many more?” Looking distraught, Harry began mentally compiling a list of the things that needed to be `undone' if they were going to postpone their honeymoon. “Damnation, wasn't it enough that we had to kill Tom multiple times?”

“Stop, Harry.” Seeing the look on his face, Hermione smiled warmly. “We're catching that portkey tonight, come Hell or high water.”

“This could be significant.”

“Today you're not Senior Team Lead Harry Potter. You're not `The Wizard Who Won'. You're not `The Effing Boy Who Lived'. You're a newlywed who's getting ready to suffer through all of our friends embarrassing us for the next three hours until we sneak away for four weeks of worrying about nothing more sinister than whose turn it is to roll over and order room service.” Seeing the wizard standing behind her husband grinning from ear to ear, she smirked.

“And if you don't believe me, just turn around and let Kingsley tell you that there are plenty of people who are qualified to handle this, and some of them are even working today so none of our close friends have to miss anything once they drop the trash off in London.”

“Harry, it's going to take us at least a month to find an advocate willing to represent Bellatrix. The precedents are very murky on what we can charge her with since she was not only merely dead; she was really most sincerely dead.” Looking only slightly worried, Kingsley began to think about the ramifications of someone turning up, very much alive, years after they'd been declared dead and buried in an unmarked plot on Azkaban.

“Doesn't count.” Shaking her head, Hermione parried a look from her assistant that said `you're getting sucked into this'. “She knowingly perpetrated a fraud to avoid prosecution upon the court. There's no way anyone could argue that she wasn't aware that she had a Horcrux, so she's responsible for the consequences of using one as well as the benefits. Since she obviously had a Horcrux tucked away, she wasn't really dead, she was merely mostly dead. And there's a big difference.”

“Harry?”

Looking over, Harry could see his brand-new father-in-law standing there, with a very serious look on his face.

“Yes?”

“Since you've only been married a short time, I feel compelled to explain to you what the only correct answer is in a situation like this. Regardless of what your sense of duty tells you, the only correct answer is `Yes dear.'.”

“But…”

“The only correct answer is `Yes dear'.” Shaking his head, Alex looked over at Arthur for support.

“Harry, don't make a fuss. We're not going to release the specifics until after the two of you have left, so don't make it necessary for me to have to explain things to my wife before the reception's over.” Seeing the stubborn look on Harry's face, he smiled sadly.

“Don't make me call for Ginevra; I'm certain she'll have something painful to say about it if you bollix this up.”

Shaking his head, Harry looked around at the group that was surrounding him. While both the witch who had leaped in front of the curse and the wizard that attacked his bride were well on their way to St. Mungo's, their assembled friends and families were milling about, waiting for someone to declare the `emergency' over and that the evening's festivities were ready to begin.

Finally, the appearance of a shining Jack Russell terrier decided things. Looking around, the canine patronus growled softly and looked up at him.

“Harry, before she realizes she's made a mistake, you might want to get this show on the road. Lavender and I will be back from London in about ten minutes. Luna's heading upstairs with Parvati and the rest even as we speak.

“If you get started in the next few minutes, you'll be ready for my very witty and perceptive Best Man opening remarks by the time I get these three signed in and tucked away for the night.”

As the patronus faded away, Harry sighed. “Well, if that's the way everyone feels about it?”

“Harry, if you're saying that you don't feel like going on our honeymoon…” Watching the smirk forming on her husband's face, Hermione shrugged eloquently.

“Not at all, but I've been a worrier since you've known me. Didn't think today was the day to change since it's worked so far.”

Taking his arm and steering him towards the front table, Hermione chuckled. “Harry, there's a big difference between `because of' and `in spite of'. Being a worrier isn't one of your more endearing characteristics.”

Looking over her shoulder, Hermione caught Carra's eye. Touching her DA galleon that hung from a chain around her neck, she smiled as Carra nodded and began sending a message on hers to the group that had gone up to Gryffindor Tower earlier.

“Do you want to do the honors, do should I?” Hermione asked, looking around at their guests who were still milling around. Before Harry could answer, George Weasley spoke up.

“Since Ickle Ronniekins is skiving off, let me do the honors.” Grinning cheekily, George turned to look at the crowd before either Harry or Hermione could object. Taking his wand, he touched the tip to his throat before beginning.

“Since the `Best Man' is unavailable at the moment, the `Better Man' will take charge.” Pausing for a second as laughter echoed around the room and for some heckling from friends, George took a quick bow before continuing.

“In case anyone's interested, this is the wedding reception for Harry and Hermione. Since Hermione finally decided to do the right thing and make an honest wizard out of Harry, it's only fitting and proper that all of their friends show up to drink their firewhiskey, eat their food, and generally give them the mickey before they take off on a well deserved honeymoon.” Looking over to where Angelina was glaring at him, he grinned sheepishly.

“If everyone could take their seats, I'll update you on the schedule of events.” Pausing as people began to move towards their assigned tables, George moved over to the head table, and coincidently further aware from his highly annoyed spouse. “From what I've been told, everyone is fine from earlier, Marietta is doing well and Mr. Flint is doing as well as can be expected.” Pausing for a second, he looked over at Harry and winked.

“Although, anyone who was foolish enough to pick Flint for their fantasy quidditch league might want to consider cutting him from their squad, his playing time is going to be very limited for the next century or so unless Azkaban starts a prison league.”

Just as he was going to continue, a strange look came over his face and he grabbed his throat. Smiling grimly, Ginny came up and patted him on the back.

“George, you wife would like to talk to you. Since I'm the Maid of Honor, I'll fill in for our Best Man until he can get himself back from his little errand in London.” Shaking her head as her brother walked over to where his life was sitting, still trying to talk, she smiled at the group.

“As George mentioned, we're here to celebrate Harry and Hermione finally getting their acts together.” Ignoring Hermione's muttered “this is an improvement?”, she grinned as Luna gave her a thumbs-up. “On behalf of the families of the bride and groom, we'd like to welcome everyone who came out for Hermione's Skiving Day.”

Looking over towards the table to her right, where the Headmistress was sitting with some of the other staff members from when the pair had attended Hogwarts, she chuckled. “And I'm supposed to wish Minerva a `Happy St. Swithin's Day' from all of the DA.”

Smiling as the Headmistress toasted her with a mug of something, Ginny shook her head as people were finding their seats. “Since we all know how traditional both the Bride and Groom are, I've been elected to tell you that we're going to deviate just a bit from the traditional wedding reception format.”

Ginny went on to explain that the couple was going to forego the traditional `first dance' to signal the end of the cocktail time, since they both wanted to be able to mingle with their guests. After `enough time and alcohol has passed so no one will notice exactly how bad my brother is at public speaking' they would be begin the remarks and toasts, which would be followed by dinner.

“Good of you to join us, Ron.” Nodding to her brother who was making his way forward from the back of the hall, she smirked. “Everyone enjoy yourselves and we'll let you know when it's time to eat.”

As the crowd began to mingle, the atmosphere began to change. Gone was the sense of urgency and purpose that had occurred in the wake of the attack and the response. And a big part of that was Harry and Hermione's doing.

The couple seemed to be everywhere, talking to folks, laughing and enjoying themselves and their guests. A small musical group, current and recently graduated students from Hogwarts who had gotten together to form a band and, just maybe, become the `next big thing' in the wizarding world, were playing off to the side.

They were doing covers of Weird Sister tunes along with classic rock staples since musical tastes in wizarding Britain were a bit closer to the current day than other things in wizarding society, but still markedly behind the times and things their muggle parents had enjoyed were new to wizarding audiences.

Hermione was chatting with Lavender and her fiancé while Harry was two tables away assuring his twin nieces that Teddy would be able to go to the beach with them while he and Hermione were in America on their honeymoon. As they both finished and looked up at each other with identical wry grins, they could hear someone trying to get the room's attention from the head table.

Turning, the both could see Ron standing there, tapping a water glass with his wand. As soon as he saw that the majority of people in the hall were looking his way, he smiled and started speaking.

“Sorry I wasn't here earlier, as Best Man it was my job to deal with some party crashers, and I'd like to thank Gin for stepping in and keeping things going.” Ignoring George's shouted “What about me?”; he smiled as he saw the bride and groom heading towards the front table.

“We've come to the part of the program where I'm supposed to stand up here and say something very profound and witty about Harry and Hermione and the fact that they've finally gotten around to getting married.” Reaching down and taking a sip of his water as the couple in question slipped into their seats, he smirked.

“Almost fifteen years ago, a funny thing happened on the Hogwarts Express. Actually a couple of funny things happened that day, and one thing that changed my life. I had already met Harry, we were sharing a compartment, when the compartment door opened and life as I knew it changed.” Pausing for a second, he tipped his glass in Hermione's direction before turning back to the crowd.

“Hermione Jane Granger came bustling into our compartment in search of Neville's lost familiar Trevor. As far as I'm concerned, if that poser Lockhart managed to slime his way into an Order of Merlin, Third Class, then Trevor deserves at least a Second Class award because of his ability to become misplaced at the most opportune moment. Both Neville and I were there when these two met. At age eleven, it was just creepy, but now I've grown up just enough to realize that those stories that people tell about `love at first sight' are true and everything that's happened to the two of them started in that compartment.

“Harry and Hermione. I think that sums it up. There's a rightness in that that doesn't need to be explained to anyone who has ever met them. Of all the weddings I've attended, and I'm including my own in this, I can't think of one that was more fitting, more `right' than this one.” Looking sheepishly over at his wife who was trying not to laugh at him, he smiled. “Luna, you know I only mean I'm still not certain how you put up with me, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

Smiling as his wife blew him a kiss from her seat, accompanied by a theatrical “ahhh” from his brother George, Ron chuckled and turned to face the couple.

“Someone from The Prophet dubbed the three of us `The Golden Trio' at some point. I think it was in between times that they were trying to convince everyone Harry was a raving nutter, but that's not important. And, as usual, they got it wrong. While the three of us were together a lot, it was always Harry and Hermione, and then me.”

Looking very serious, Ron turned and smiled nervously at the two. “For almost all of our time in school, I was an immature prat, and I'm very thankful that the two of you were patient enough to wait for me to grow up, rather than kicking me to the curb as I so richly deserved. I failed the two of you on numerous occasions, Hermione especially, and I'm very thankful that you continued to make allowances for me. Because of all of the things I've ever had the opportunity to do, what comes next is the thing I'm the most honored by.

“I'm going to skip over the part where the Best Man tells embarrassing stories about the newly married couple because all of the really embarrassing moments seem to have me in them, so I think I can safely move ahead to a toast.” Looking around, waiting for everyone to pick up their glasses, Ron reached down and exchanged his water glass for one filled with champagne.

“Here's to Harry and Hermione. Never has the world seen better friends or two people more in love than these two. And I know that, speaking for all of your friends and relatives, I can safely say that everyone in this room has the same heartfelt thought.” Pausing for a second as he brought the glass close to him, he winked cheekily and grinned. “Thank Merlin the waiting is over.”

A ragged “Harry and Hermione” ran around the room as everyone toasted the happy couple. Smiling in relief, Ron started to turn back to the crowd when Hermione stood from her place and tapped her glass.

“I'm going to run roughshod over protocol here. Which should come as no surprise to anyone seeing as I've acquired the reputation of finding no tradition or institution sacred, over the years,”

Gesturing for the rest of the crowd to sit back down, she fixed Ron with a McGonagall-worthy glare as he started to leave. “Not so fast, Ronald. Even though turn about was fair play since Harry was best man at your wedding, I'm finally going to have my say.”

Turning to the crowd, she smiled. “Ronald brought up a few things in his little speech that I think need clarified. All three of us are what you can charitably call `difficult' when the mood strikes us, and our relationship over the past fifteen years has been all over the map.”

Blushing a bit, she smiled down at her husband, who winked at her cheekily. “But there was always a constant. Even when we were all acting like royal berks and none of us were really speaking to each other, there was something there that kept us together. Like the name or not, `The Golden Trio' was something that started out as three misfits who were simply trying to survive what was happening around us and ended up being something very different. We were best mates, on our good days and bad. And over the years, the group has grown.”

Pausing for a second, she reached down and picked up her glass. “Those of us who are here, and those who have gone on, are part of something extraordinary. And while I'm not putting this wedding on a par with some of the things that have happened in the past, all of the things that we went through, all of the extraordinary people and beings who have been part of our lives over the past fifteen years brought us to this day.”

Turning, she held up her glass to Ron. “So, Ronald, like it or not, you're stuck with us. Not just the Potters, but also all of the rest of the people we've come to call `family' over the years. So, on behalf of both Harry and myself, I want to propose a toast to you and to everyone who was part of this long journey that began on the Hogwarts Express.”

Waiting until everyone had stood, she reached down and took Harry's hand before smiling brilliantly at the assembled group.

“Here's to Ronald, and to everyone who has been part of our lives up to this point. Never doubt we both care deeply about each and every one of you and we know that we wouldn't be here if it weren't for those people who have been part of this from the beginning. And we can't wait to see what happens next.”

Holding up her glass for a second, she smiled. “To the future!”

“To the future,” the company echoed as glasses were emptied a second time. Looking over at Ron, she smirked.

“Now you can let them know what's coming next.”

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A/N - While I still don't own anything relating to Harry Potter and his universe, I also don't own anything relating to the movie The Wizard of Oz, the movie or the novel the Princess Bride, or the cartoon series Pinky and the Brain or The Animaniacs. It's not my fault that these characters enjoy the classics.

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