Choices

Searcy

Rating: G
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 03/06/2009
Last Updated: 03/06/2009
Status: completed

Harry reflects on the importance of choices. Companion piece to "Moments".

Chapters

1. Choices

1. Choices

Choices

Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. Dumbledore was big on choices. He was forever going on about how important choices were, saying things like, it matters not what a person is born, but who they choose to be, it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities, and sooner or later we must all chose between what is right and what is easy. And though I heard him and recognized on some level that he was right I don't think I ever fully appreciated how true his words were until Hermione left Ron at the alter. She didn't actually leave him at the alter, she dumped him at the rehearsal hall, but the premise is still the same.

It was the evening before Ron and Hermione's wedding, we'd just come from the ceremony rehearsal about an hour or so before, in addition to the wedding party itself a number of friends and acquaintances from Hogwarts and the Ministry were present. Everyone had eaten their fill of the excellent feast Molly had put on and all were moving around socializing and catching up on each other's news. I had just went to the bar and gotten myself another glass of wine on my way back I noticed Ron and Hermione sitting at the head table, Ron was talking to Hermione's father and gesticulating in a very animated fashion this could only mean one thing, he was talking about Quidditch. Hermione was sitting beside Ron looking overwrought and forlorn.

I'd seen her wearing that expression more often than not over the past few months. Whenever I'd asked if she was all right she would say she was fine, but something in her voice never quite convinced me that she was telling the truth. Whenever I pushed the issue she'd go into detail about some aspect of the wedding that was off kilter. But the closer the wedding got the more out of it Hermione seemed to be. Ron was completely oblivious to Hermione's disconcerting behavior. When I asked him if he thought she'd been behaving oddly he rambled off some twaddle about it just being stress from all the planning. Despite Ron's assurances I was beginning to wonder if she was having misgivings about the whole thing. I had just made up my mind to get Hermione alone for a private word when I was stopped by Ron's older brother George and his friend Lee Jordan who wanted to offer a few suggestions as to what I ought to say about the happy couple, Ron in particular, during my toast at the reception.

It was good to see George acting something like his old self. He hadn't been much for joking in the year since Fred had died, but he seemed to be coming around especially since he and Angelina had been spending time together. Listening to George carry on I lost track of my plans to get in a private word with Hermione. A bit of a crowd drifted over including, Angelina, Charlie, Percy, Katie Bell, several co-workers of Arthur's who I hadn't been formally introduced to and Ginny. I was laughing fit to burst at George's toast suggestions when suddenly Hermione's voice rose above the clamor in the room. She was calling Ron's name and she seemed more than a bit frantic.

The noise in the room halted abruptly as every eye in the room was trained on the head table wondering what was the matter. I noticed that Hermione was fidgeting with her engagement ring. She was turning it round and round on her finger and her face was screwed up in a determined sort of way that made me nervous, something was wrong, very, very, wrong. Without realizing I had done so I instinctively took a step towards her. I was brought up short by Ginny splaying her hands across my chest silently beseeching me not to intercede. By now Ron had looked up and was about to ask Hermione what was wrong. Suddenly Hermione was yanking her ring from her finger, she dropped it into Ron's outstretched palm and screwing her eyes shut called out in a clear yet trembling voice, I'm so sorry Ron, but I can't marry you, I'm in love with Harry. The room, already deathly quiet went quieter still, save for Molly's disbelieving gasp. Ginny's fingernails curved inward and bit into my chest as every head in the room turned in my direction.

Though I could feel everyone staring at me I took no real notice of it, I was rather accustomed to being gawked at by then. And even if I hadn't been used to being stared at I don't think it would have mattered to me in the least at that moment because I was far to stunned by Hermione's words to care who was staring. Unless I was much mistaken Hermione had just told Ron that she couldn't marry him because she was in love with someone else… or to put I more accurately, that she was in love with me. At the precise moment that that thought penetrated my brain I focused my attention back up at the head table and locked eyes with Hermione. She looked me squarely in the eye and speaking in a voice that was barely above a whisper she apologized. It was apparent that this apology was meant for me, though I had no idea what she needed to apologize to me for. No sooner than she had spoken, she turned and ran from the hall.

As soon as she disappeared all hell broke loose. Edward and Lydia, Hermione's parents, hastily exited the hall in pursuit of their daughter while Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fleur and Percy converged on Ron's bewildered form. Muttering had broken out all over the hall, several of Ron's cousins could be heard disparaging Hermione loudly and in much lower tones me. Ginny hadn't taken her eyes off me since Hermione had made her pronouncement. I stood there watching one of my best friend's world fall apart for a few seconds before I heard Dumbeldore's voice in my head saying sooner or later we must all chose between what is right and what is easy. The easy thing would be to stay and console Ron to help him through this humiliating disappointment. The easy thing would be to wrap my arms around the woman at my side and join the other guests in their bemusement over what could have prompted such a declaration from the bride to be. The easy thing would be to keep as much distance between Hermione and myself as possible for propriety's sake. But was that the right thing to do? I could have done any of those things and been thought of as a true and devoted friend and a loving boyfriend but none of them seemed to be the right thing to me.

Ron was surrounded by family and friends, people who loved him, he didn't need me. Hermione, however, did need me. She was all alone and in much more pain than Ron. I had disentangled myself from Ginny's grasp and was halfway to the door leading out of the hall before I realized Ginny was calling after me. I stopped and turned back to stare at the spot where I had left her as she asked me what I was doing. My response was simple, Hermione needs me. As I turned back towards the door my eyes connected with Ron's for a brief moment, I didn't try to decipher the look I saw there.

Once I was clear of the doors of the hall I apparated directly to Hermione's flat. When I arrived Hermione was slumped over on the couch crying uncontrollably. I rushed to her side and pulled her into my arms. I told her that I was there and that everything was all right. She seemed geniuely surprised that I had come and at the same time comforted by my presence. And then she became a touch hysterical, my word not hers, she tried to send me away. She kept telling me I shouldn't be there, not after what she'd just done. She told me to go back to Ginny and sort things out before it was too late. I didn't bother telling her that too late had come and gone. I didn't tell her that it had been too late the moment I decided to walk out the door of that rehearsal hall. I simply told her that I was not going anywhere; I was standing by her just like she had always stood by me.

We didn't talk anymore after that, neither of us was ready to deal with the hippogriff in the room, the fact that she was in love with me. It was obvious that I cared for her deeply, I wouldn't have been there if I didn't but beyond that I couldn't honestly say where I stood in the grand scheme of things. I simply held her until the tears subsided and as she drifted off to sleep I promised her I would still be there when she woke up.

I was there the next morning when she woke and for most mornings after that as well. If anyone had asked I'd have said I was simply helping a friend through a rough patch but we both knew it was more than that even if we didn't mention it. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and neither of us ever actually mentioned what was happening between us. Then one day six months after the called off wedding I turned to her and said I love you. By the end of the year we were married in a private ceremony. Ron came along with George and Angelina. We've gradually rebuilt our friendship, although we are not as close as we once were, but then again how could we be.

The soft thud of footsteps pulled Harry back to the present. He looked up and saw a disheveled Hermione padding into the nursery. Peering over his shoulder at their sleeping seven week old daughter she asked.

“How long have you been up with her?”

Harry shrugged.

“About an hour.”

Hermione frowned. Checking the clock on the nursery wall she saw that it was just gone two which was too early for a feeding and then Hermione realized that she had not heard Lily cry. She was very much attuned to the smallest of noises in relation to two year old James and baby Lily. Hermione voiced her concern and incomprehension over that fact.

“That's odd, I usually hear her when she cries. I wonder why I didn't hear her.”

Harry stood and walked Lily over to her crib. He gently pressed a kiss to her forehead before lying her down and tucking her in snugly. Once she was settled he turned back to Hermione and answered her question.

“You didn't hear her because she didn't cry.”

Seeing Hermione's frown deepen Harry elaborated.

“Jamey had a nightmare, boggarts, so he came down to our room to fetch me to check under the bed and to perform a patronus charm to run the buggers off. Once I got him settled back down I popped in here to check on this little love and she was wide awake I reckoned she needed a bedtime story so I picked her up and told her all about how important choices are.”

Hermione raised an eyebrow wonderingly.

“Bit of a serious subject for a seven week old don't you think?”

Harry shook his head.

“No, you're never too young for that lesson; a split second can change your entire life.”

Catching the slightly far away look in her husband's eye Hermione asked.

“Harry are you all right?”

Harry nodded his head and assured Hermione that he was indeed fine. Then wrapping his arm about her waist he steered her back down the hall towards their bedroom, happy in the knowledge that he had without a doubt made the right choice.

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A/N: Again it jumped into my head and wouldn't leave until this was finished. Let me know what you think.

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