Just A Dream

hpdreamer500

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 7
Published: 30/06/2009
Last Updated: 19/07/2009
Status: completed

Based off of the song Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood, but not really a songfic. Dumbledore sent him on that mission. She just wished it could’ve been her instead. In the dead silence of their house, one word escaped her lips, “James.”

Chapters

1. Chapter 1: Prologue

2. Chapter 2: The Funeral

3. Chapter 3: Remembered

4. Chapter 4: Their New Beginning

1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Just A Dream

Chapter 1-Prologue

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah

Dumbledore sent him on that mission. She just wished it could've been her instead. In the dead silence of their house, one word escaped her lips, “James.”

Tears rolled down her face. This was the sad state of Lily Potter; she was hardly 18, but knew this had to be the worst she'll ever feel. She was wearing her wedding gown and knew she'd have to face the truth that night at the church.

On the couch next to her was every letter he'd ever written her. Picking one up, she read:

Lily,

I love you more than everything in the world. There's nothing more important to me. No matter what happens to me, know I love you. If I die, the last word from my lips will be your name.

James

The tears fell faster and she sat there sobbing when she heard the door open. She didn't bother to pick up her wand to try to defend herself; she decided it didn't matter who it was. She felt two hands on her shoulders and heard her best friend Katy say, “Oh Lily, you've been like this all week haven't you?”

From the sobs, Katy assumed she had. She took the letter from Lily gently and read it. Her eyes traveled to the box of letters and said, “Lily, look at me.”

Slowly, Lily turned around to see not only Katy, but James' best friend Sirius Black. “Lily, you loved him, we know that, but he'd want you to try to move on,” Sirius told her. “He'd want you to know that he doesn't want you to dwell over this.”

“Never.”

“Lily-“ Katy started.

“No,” Lily cried. “I'll never move on. I'll love him for the rest of my life.”

“James,” she whispered to no one in particular before she broke down again.

A/N: I realized I forgot a disclaimer. I don't own anything you recognize. Also, please review!!! The more reviews I get, the sooner I'll upload another chapter! By the way, I know this is short, but I'm pretty sure the next chapter is a lot longer.

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2. Chapter 2: The Funeral

Just A Dream

Chapter 2- The Funeral

Disclaimer: Yay! I remembered it! I don't own anything you recognize, I promise.

He promised never to leave her. Why? Why'd he go? She wanted to live with him forever. It was all Dumbledore's fault that she'll never know forever. She'll never know, she'll never know-the thought rang through her head and she found herself unable to breathe through her tears. Sirius and Katy helped lead her upto the front row, but she felt invisible as she heard everyone say, “He's not coming home now.”

Mrs. Potter put her arms around her daughter-in-law and Lily whispered, “This isn't happening. It can't be happening. Not to me. It's just a dream.”

She sobbed, but shook with anger when she saw Dumbledore come to te front of the church. He said, “Lord, please assure us he's in a better place and heal the deep wounds inflicting so many in this church, especially Lily Potter, Sirius Black, Amanda Potter, and Howard Potter. Now please stand and join me in singing a song in the memory of James Ignotus Potter.”

Lily stood, but couldn't sing, so she just listened:

You were my friend,

You meant the world to me,

This just can't be the end,

Please tell me this is just a dream.

You had friends who loved you more than life itself,

And without you pieces of our hearts just can't go on.

It's just so hard to understand how,

You could really be gone.

No one can imagine how much I'll miss you,

I can't believe that I have to live my life without you.

To know you're not coming home,

Without you, my life will feel so alone.

You had friends who loved you more than life itself,

And without you pieces of our hearts just can't go on.

It's just so hard to understand how,

You could really be gone.

You had friends who loved you more than life itself,

And without you pieces of our hearts just can't go on.

It's just so hard to understand how,

You could really be gone.

Lily decided then and there that that song was the saddest song she'd ever heard. Dumbledore handed her an Order flag while she cried. She clutched it to her chest and the memories floded back to her. There was so much they could've known, but now all she had left of him was this Order flag. She didn't think it was good enough.

Dumbledore preyed on people so good they'd go on deadly missons for the Order and Lily wasn't happy about it. She'd lost James. She'd lost him and it was all Dumbledore's fault.

Every member of the Order, then sent up black sparks, and as they fell, she felt her heart shatter.

How could he leave? Why did he go on that mission? He knew he might not come back alive. She'd always dreamed of being with him forever, but now that possibility was lost.

She might've been in the middle of everything, but she felt like she was separated from the world. The words from different Order members echoed in her head. “He's not coming home now.” “I can't believe he's gone.” “He was such a great person.”

Through her tears, she whispered to no one in particular, “This can't be happening to me. I loved him. This is just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.”

A/N: Okay, this whole story is finished. It's going to be 4 chapters, and as much as I'd love to say otherwise, they're really short. But, I hope you like it anyway and please review! I love any kind of feedback, good or bad. By the way, the song used in this chapter is mine, although it's one of the worst I've ever written. Oh, and thanks owanalilypotter for reviewing! The more you review, the sooner I'll post the third chapter, where Lily will confront Dumbledore.

<3,

hpdreamer500

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3. Chapter 3: Remembered

Just A Dream

Chapter 3: Remembered

After the funeral Dumbledore walked over to Lily and said quietly, “I'm sorry, Lily.”

All her anger just seemed to burst from her. She was talking with her heart not her head. “Sorry doesn't cut it!” she cried. “He's dead because of you! You sent him on that mission! You knew he wouldn't live!”

“I understand how you're feeling, Lily,” was his only response.

“No you don't! You don't know the half of it!”

With that, Dumbledore took her arm and apparated her to his office. “Lily, there actually wasn't much chance James would die on that mission,” he explained calmly.

“We didn't find his body, though, does that mean he might not be dead?” she asked hopefully.

“I wouldn't get your hopes up,” Dumbledore answered. “But it's possible.”

Lily and Dumbledore apparated back to the funeral, where Lily sat on a pew and kept to herself, tears still rolling down her face. They just wouldn't go away. James had been gone for two years. He was assumed dead, rather than missing.

She twirled her wedding ring around on her finger while she thought about him and all the moments, good and bad, that they'd shared.

She, as she had on many past occasions, felt terrible for being so mean to him through school. He was an amazing guy, he'd just been a little immature.

Inside, Lily didn't think a little immaturity was a bad thing. She'd never have admitted it to anyone though. She cared too much about what people thought about her, although she knew some people might like her better if she acted more like herself. She was just so stuck being the girl she thought everyone wanted her to be that she didn't know how to let go around anyone she wasn't close friends with. It was her greatest fault, and it was one James had been helping her rid herself of.

She remembered their first date, and feebly smiled through her tears. She remembered the clearing in the forest, the lilies all around them, and remembered how he'd planned it all. He'd planned the perfect first date. She remembered how nervous he was that she wouldn't like it, and how happy he was when he saw that she did.

She remembered their wedding, with Katy as their Maid of Honor and Sirius as their Best Man. Everything had been perfect. Their reception had been amazing, and although she'd done a lot of the wedding plans, he had certainly helped. She loved him beyond all compare as more memories surfaced in her mind.

She remembered their first kiss, how he'd planned another perfect date. She remembered the snow angels and snowball fights and chasing each other in the snow. She remembered how he gently kissed her for the first time and how he was shocked when she didn't pull away. She remembered them going in from their date in the snow and getting hot chocolate from the kitchens and how they talked until they fell asleep.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long, but today was my deadline, because today's my birthday!!! Yay!!! Anyway, please review, I'll post the next and last chapter very soon if I get 5 reviews. Thanks to owanalilypotter, anarita, and littledufffan for reviewing!

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4. Chapter 4: Their New Beginning

Just A Dream

Chapter 4: Their New Beginning

He was perfect for Lily. He was sweet, but not too sweet, and he was everything she needed. Sitting there on the pew, she remembered the night he left. It was the night that changed everything. She remembered how he laughed with Katy, and Sirius, and her, and how he promised he'd be back. She knew nothing less than death would keep him from keeping that promise, and it scared her.

It scared her because she knew he'd never stay away for two years without coming back to find her if he had the choice. She was terrified of losing her husband. She remembered plenty of amazing times, plenty of fights, and she knew in her heart that she couldn't bear to know that they would be only ones. She remembered yelling at him in school, but she remembered every single beautiful moment. She decided it wasn't fair. She was only eighteen, he was only eighteen.

She'd known losing him was possible, but she'd always wanted to believe that she and James would be safe from the war. It was the reason her parents were dead, and now the reason her husband was dead. Or missing. She still wasn't sure she wanted to know which.

Lily's thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the church doors. She turned around, as did all the other guests.

Silence filled the church. The silhouette of a man was standing in the doorway.

When he stepped inside, there was a collective gasp. The man in the doorway had messy, black hair and glasses. His eyes scanned the crowd and stopped when they landed on Lily.

“Lily,” he started.

She felt like she was in a dream; the most amazing dream of her life. Standing before her was the man she loved, the one she was told was dead. They told her that he had to be dead because he'd been gone so long. She didn't want to believe it. She ran forward, threw her arms around him, and kissed him. “I missed you. You're never going on another mission without me ever again.”

James chuckled. “Whatever you say,” he replied and kissed her again.

Then he walked over to his parents. “I'm so sorry to worry you so much,” he told them.

“We understand,” his dad said. “There wasn't anything you could do about it.”

“Thank you. I really needed you to understand,” James replied.

Lily watched carefully, tears still on her face, but now they were different tears. She was still trying to understand that James really was alive and back with her for the first time in two years.

He walked over to his best friend and Katy next.

“Padfoot.”

“Prongs,” Sirius replied with a laugh. “You're alive, thank Merlin.”

“Obviously,” James answered, now laughing too.

He walked back to Lily, took her hand, and announced that they had to leave.

When they walked out of the church doors and into the crazy world, they were walking into their new beginning. They had no idea how long it'd be until the war ended, but they knew that as long as they had each other, they would make it.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading this story! I really hope you liked it! Thanks to owanalilypotter, anarita, and an anonymous reader for reviewing! I really, really appreciate it! I might write a sequel, where we learn about James' mission, but only if I get a lot of reviews! Plus keep on a lookout for my fic The Realities of Love, which should, if all goes well, be coming out soon. Thanks again!

<3, hpdreamer500

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