Year of the Sixth

Discl.: Of course I didn't create this world. I am only using it for my own fun.

Flesh and Blood

I sat on the floor of my parents' living room, surrounded by a million multicolored balloons, blowing each one up with such careful breaths that I had yet to pop a single one. If I had been seventeen, I could have waved my wand and magically decorated my living room. Since I wouldn't turn seventeen until January, I was left to blow up the balloons manually. I glanced up at the clock. It was nearly tea time, and my parents would be home. This was supposed to be an early gift to my sister, Petunia, to celebrate her recent engagement to Vernon Dursley.

“Lily, you home?” a voice called out from the foyer.

“Back here, Severus,” I called cheerily. I looked up as the dark haired boy lumbered into the room, as if his legs and body weren't quite in tune with each other yet. He smiled almost shyly at me and I laughed. He had been like that since the day we met when we were just little children, long before I knew I was a witch. He had been the one to tell me, and I never doubted him.

“Um, what are you doing?” Severus asked as he stood almost uncomfortably in the doorway. He never really felt comfortable if my family was about, and he didn't exactly get along with Petunia as well as I had hoped.

“Blowing up balloons for my sister's engagement,” I said as I brought another brightly colored balloon to my mouth.

“That portly fellow,” Severus said. I rolled my eyes and fought not to laugh. Vernon was a thick necked, round man. He reminded me vaguely of an overstuffed pig, with his judgmental, beady eyes and that overly style blond hair. He reminded me of the fat candle maker from my children's book Petunia and I would read late at night, except the candle maker smiled and Vernon did not.

“You can stay, if you want,” I offered as I tied off the balloon. He shuddered slightly.

“Your sister and I don't exactly get along,” he reminded me needlessly.

“Severus, I'm not asking you to seduce her or even be her friend,” I replied as the door opened and my parents' voices wafted back to me.

“Did you get the cake?” I asked jumping up off the floor excitedly. I had all the other food prepared, but I had ordered the cake from Le Fleur, a French bakery that Petunia and I both loved to go to as children. The owners, French emigrants, would always give us a pastry or custard for probably a lot less than they'd normally sell them for.

“We did,” my mother said. She and Petunia favored each other, whereas I looked like our father. He grinned at me as I peered in to the cake box. It was perfect, and I clapped my hands like an excited little child.

“It's perfect!” I exclaimed as I lead the way towards the buffet I had spread out. Petunia would be arriving anytime now with her fiancé in tow. I had invited a few of Petunia's closest girl friends, or I would have if I had known who Petunia's closest girl friends were.

“I'll see you later, Lily,” Severus said quietly. I had honestly forgotten that he was there and I turned to look at him apologetically.

“Severus Snape,” my mother said with a pleasant smile. “Why don't you stay for tea? Petunia will be home and I know the three of you used to play so well together when you were children.” Severus shot me a look, one of his eyebrows hiking up until it was nearly hidden in the dark frame of hair that made him look almost ghastly pale.

“I'd love to, Mrs. Evans, but I promised my father that I would stack up the firewood,” Severus said glancing down almost as quickly as he had met my mother's eyes.

“Will I see you later?” I asked as I followed him to the door. He turned and looked at me, a slight smile on his face.

“Try to keep me away,” he teased nervously and laughed. I laughed along with him, and heat rose to his cheeks. I closed the door before he reached the front gate and headed back to the balloons. Petunia would be home soon, and I wanted the room to be perfect, the party to be perfect.

Time continued to tick on, the chimes sounding out from the grandfather clock in the hall. The windows darkened and the street lamps came on, lighting the night as the crickets chirped. I stared at the door, almost willing my older sister to come home. With each passing moment, I grew more and more worried. Was she dead? Did Vernon have car trouble? My father came up beside me and rested his hand on her shoulder.

“Your mother says that we should go on and eat,” Dad said quietly. I looked up him almost bewildered. This was supposed to be a party for Petunia and we couldn't start without her. I wanted to ask him how he could eat when Petunia had probably drowned in the old pond or been run down by wild horses, but I didn't.

I ate soundlessly, glancing up at the clock every couple of minutes and not tasting a thing I put in my mouth. I swung between being worried for my sister's well being and being angry that she hadn't rung to tell us she'd be late. She knew she had a party, a feast, waiting for her and Vernon. What if something had happened to her? I chewed on one of my fingernails in anxiousness as I climbed the stairs to my room and began to change into my night dress. I heard the door open downstairs, and for a moment I imagined the police standing there, solemn as they delivered the news.

I heard the most beautiful sound ever, the peal of my older sister's laughter float up the stairs, tinkling like glass. I jerked my robe on, not bothering to tie it as I rushed down the stairs. I stood there, uncertain if I should be relieved that she was alive and a little tipsy or if I should be angry that she had missed the engagement party that I had spent all day preparing for. Vernon was there, apologizing to my father for Petunia's state.

“…and my new boss's wife insisted that Petunia try the Merlot…” Vernon prattled on to my dad as my mother brought Petunia a glass of something. My sister's eyes were glassy and she looked a bit startled. She giggled again at nothing and I looked to her as she looked at me.

“My sister! My perfect little sister,” Petunia slurred out gleefully. “Betcha never woulda gotten into that school if you were normal.”

“Petunia,” my mother chastised but Petunia either didn't hear her or didn't care. Petunia stood and stumbled towards me.

“I love the little freak,” Petunia said with a high pitched giggle as she slung her arm around me. “I mean, if I didn't, wouldn't I have let her rot away under the stairs when she got trapped there?”

“I made you a dinner,” I said hesitantly. “Remember? The engagement party?”

“Awe… my little witchy sister made me a party,” Petunia said as she sloshed her drink out of the glass my mother gave her. She lowered her mouth to my ear, as if to whisper something and instead her voice came out in a small shout. “Why don't cha wave your little wand around and get this party started.”

“Petunia…” my father said with such a stern voice it shocked me to hear it coming from him. He was more like me, at least the real me. I was firm, but never really raised my voice or lost my temper.

“Vernon agrees with me,” Petunia tossed out in response. “Witches should be burned at the stake, like in the old days.”

I don't know what was said after that. I had pulled away from my sister in horror and fled out the house, shoving the gate open so hard that the rusted hinge gave way and the gate clattered to the ground. I didn't know where I was going, my feet just carried me down the broken sidewalk until I stopped and found myself standing in the little clearing by the lake where we all played as children. I hugged the tree, heartbroken that my sister, my own flesh and blood hated me and my kind so much that she thought I should be burned at the stake.

“Lily?” Severus asked as if he wasn't certain it was me. I looked back over my shoulder, still holding onto the tree for support.

“Yeah, it's me,” I said finally letting go and wiping my face with my hands. I hadn't realized that I had been crying.

“Why in Merlin's wardrobe are you running around barefoot and in your night clothes?” Severus asked as he pulled off his jacket and held it out to me. I looked down at my thin cotton night gown, the hem brushing the middle of my thighs, the belt still loose on my robe. I took the jacket and put it on, trying to maintain any last semblance of modesty as I took a seat in the grass. Severus followed suit, the two of us staring up at the full moon above.

“Petunia came home tipsy and she said I should be burned at the stake,” I said. It was quiet between us for a moment and Severus laughed.

“That is the most ridiculous thing ever. You could just freeze the flame,” he reminded me. I thought on that for a moment and laughed. He was right. I could. I laughed, my laughter shaky and thick from my tears.

“Still,” I said after we fell silent. “She meant it as she thought I should be dead.”

“Alcohol does strange things to otherwise well meaning people. You'll see, when she sobers up. She didn't mean what she said. That was the alcohol talking,” Severus said quietly. I didn't say anything, I already knew. Since his mother, a witch, died his father, a muggle, had been drowning in his sorrows and cheap liquor. Severus had bruises that showed how much the alcohol `talked'. I often wondered why he never fought back or used magic, but I never asked him. I assumed he'd tell me if I wanted to know.

“I guess,” I sighed after a moment.

“We'd better get you home,” Severus said as we both stood. “Just three more days, and we start our sixth year of Hogwarts.”

“Think you'll ever get the courage to ask out your mystery girl?” I taunted playfully as we walked side by side towards my house.

“Think that git, Potter, will give up on you being his?” Severus said with slightly less playfulness. I could practically taste the undertones of anger and bitterness on his words but made no mention to them. It was no secret that James Potter and Severus Snape loathed each other and I was not about to bring it up again. It was bad enough I couldn't get James Potter to leave me alone. The last thing I needed was one of my best friends angry at me over it.

“Save me a seat on the bus to King's Crossing?” I asked with a desire to change the subject. Severus laughed, the sound constrained as he nodded once.

“Don't I always?” he commented.

“Yes,” I said. I looked at my house with dread. “That is, if my sister doesn't have me lynched or burned at the stake before then.” Severus laughed again, the sound was lighter. “Just remember the spell `Impedimenta Incendio' to stop or slow the fire.”

“Nice,” I said sarcastically as I moved to take Severus' jacket off. I held it out to him, his hand closing on it.

“If you ever need anything, Lily, I'm just a few doors away,” he said with a smile.

“At least until we get back to the castle,” I teased.

“We're both prefects, I'm sure that we're still just as available for one another,” he said and I shook my head.

“I feel it, a change in the air,” I said not making much sense to me. I shivered in the cooling night. Whatever I said, or perhaps the weather, caused Severus to shudder as well.

“Good night, Lily,” he said quietly and stepped away.

“Good night, Severus,” I said. I looked at him walking away and called out to him. “Be careful.”

“I always am,” he said without looking back at me. I couldn't explain it. I could feel him trying to tighten his grasp on me (and me him) while at the same time, I felt as if the world was ready to rip him from me. I shivered again and headed in through the front door to find a sobbing Petunia waiting, still tipsy and disheveled.

“Lily, my lovely little Lily,” Petunia cried encircling my neck with her boney arms and burying her face in my neck. She sniffled and sobbed, soaking my robe. “I am so sorry. I couldn't… I'd never…”

“It's ok, Tuney,” I promised as I patted her shoulder. “I know.”

“I just never would…” she sobbed as she pulled away from me. She hiccupped.

“I know, I know,” I said nodding as my mother took her from me. Mom looked at me apologetically and led my sister up the stairs.

“Don't mind her,” my father said quietly as he stood beside me. “Your sister loves you. She means well, even if she's not always…”

“Eloquent?” I offered. He chuckled that deep, warm laugh that reminded me of summers at my Gram's house with the way it wrapped around you and made you feel safe.

“That's my girl,” Dad said as he mussed my hair. “Now off to bed with you, missy. You need your rest.”

“You're just worried that I won't get a good night's sleep once I'm back at school,” I accused playfully as I began up the stairs.

“I worry about you always,” he reminded me with a laugh. “Good night, Lily.”

“Good night, Daddy,” I said feeling only six years old instead of sixteen. I wish I could say that I climbed into bed and fell right to sleep, a peaceful sleep, but I didn't. I spent the night tossing and turning, dreaming about being forced to live under the stairs and being burned at the stake. Somewhere in all that, there was James and Severus fighting and the sound of a baby crying.

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The Good-bye Train

I had kissed my parents and sister good bye, ready to head off for my sixth year of Hogwarts. Petunia had fallen over herself in embarrassment my last few days around the house. She had apologized several times, saying that she loved me and would never want anything bad to happen to me, witch or not. It wasn't exactly one-hundred percent her approval of me, but I suppose it was the best that she could do. She was, after all, my sister and I couldn't let a little thing like a few hurtful words said while inebriated ruin our relationship.

Severus was waiting for me that early morning, a smile on his face and his battered trunk behind him. Neither he nor I had a pet or broom, just our older, worn trunks and our selves. He waited until I made it to the corner at the end of the street, one less traveled, before he pulled his wand out from inside his robe. Checking to make sure that no one was out to bear witness, he stuck his wand out. With a crack, a triple decker bus pulled to a stop in front of us and the doors opened with a rush. Severus waved his hand towards the bus.

“Ladies first,” Severus said as he looked at me. I stepped forward, dragging my trunk onto the bus before anyone could try and help me with it. Some call it stubbornness, but I like to think of myself as a modern woman of sorts. I even kill my own spiders, if the job calls for it.

“Cozy,” I said as I took one of the many arm chairs on the bus. Magical bus seating is quite different than muggle, and these chairs were just part of it.

“What'd you end up bringing for the train?” Severus asked as he took the chair nearest me. An older wizard snored unperturbed by our presence.

“Pepper cheese and wheat bread,” I said, thinking to the lunch my mother packed. “You?”

“Corned beef,” he said with a shrug that meant nothing or something. I never could tell.

“Good choice,” I laughed and settled back against the seat without much effort. The bus jerked through the streets as if being tugged by a petulant child having a fit.

“King's Cross,” the bus conductor said. My eyes widened.

“Oh, my ticket, I forgot to…” I said as I immediately remembered not paying my fare for the bus. I begun to dig around in my robes, looking for the bus money I had brought on me. It wasn't like me to forget! Severus reached across the space and patted my arm.

“No need to worry, Lily. I paid,” Severus said.

“Let me pay you back, Severus,” I insisted trying to hand him some money. He refused to take it, getting a little upset at the notion. Guiltily, I put the money back in my robe pocket. My parents weren't rich, but they did ok for the most part. I knew that Severus scraped for every single pound he had. Our books were always second hand, as was much of everything else. My robes were just a notch above used, and some of his were downright shabby. I knew he hated to be reminded how poor he really was, even by me, especially by me.

“Let me help you with your trunk,” Severus said as we began to exit the Knight's Bus. I didn't protest, already feeling pretty crummy for being so ungrateful that he remembered something I had forgotten.

Severus placed our trunks upon a trolley and the two of us walked silently to the barrier between platforms nine and ten. There were people all around us, some pushing past each other. Everyone seemed like they were in a hurry to get where they were going. It was unusually cool for September first, but not even the weather could stop the big scarlet train from taking us to the land of magic and mystery.

Platform nine and three quarters was bustling with students, some dressed already in their school robes, others still clinging to their muggle wear. Parents were embracing first year students, readying to leave the nest. Some were crying, some were laughing, and some were being insanely obnoxious. Over the din of the platform, as Severus moved our trunks toward the prefect's carriage, I could hear the boisterous laughs of Sirius Black and James Potter. I stood on tiptoe for a second, trying to see them down toward the other end of the platform. I could see Remus Lupin laughing, though I knew I'd never be able to hear his soft chuckles over this noise. Peter Pettigrew, their small, chubby friend was cackling like an old witch, heard only in memory.

“Lily!” Alice Prewitt called excitedly. I easily heard her over the noise. I probably could have heard her over deafness, as loud as her volume was sometimes set. I turned as she crashed into me, arms wrapping around her. My body had already braced itself automatically. I had been knocked on my bum too many times by an overly exuberant Alice over the years to not be prepared.

“Alice!” I said with nearly the same excitement. My voice didn't carry as loudly as hers, nor was it quite as head turning. I was definitely the quiet one between us two, but anything was quieter than Alice.

I guess I kind of forgot about Severus standing there. It wasn't intentional, I swear. Alice launched into a long, drawn out plot to land a date with Frank Longbottom that year. I didn't quite understand it, to be honest. He wasn't a bad looking boy, not at all, but he was so painfully shy. He was the anti-Alice, and yet she was determined. I once asked her why she didn't just ask him out and you'd have thought I had suggested she set her hair on fire. For as forward thinking as Alice was, she still refused to be the first to ask the boy out.

I laughed a lot as Alice started talking about brewing a love potion. Alice's forte wasn't potions. One of the last potions she brewed in class had ended up smelling like rancid meat. I only recalled it because James had blamed the smell on Severus's hair, which had made me want to curse James back into the Stone Age. Severus had beat me to it and dumped worm wood into James and Sirius' cauldron as he walked by, congealing the failing potion into a semi-solid state and failing them on the lesson.

“Alice, no,” I said as she looked at me with her plotting eyes.

“I didn't ask you to do anything,” Alice said with such false innocence that I knew she was thinking up a way to include me in her plan.

“Not yet,” I reminded her. She fought and lost to conceal her grin.

“But Lily,” Alice whined. “You're so good at potions. You're Slughorn's favorite student, top of our potions. You are like a potion princess!”

“I am not,” I said shaking my head.

“Yeah, you are,” Alice said. “If Slughorn could have had you teach the class, he would! You should so be a Potion's Master.”

“We've been over this a million times,” I frowned. “I want to be an Auror.”

“Lily,” Remus said as he approached with a smile on his face. I half-hugged him in greeting, mindful not to look at the group he had just left behind.

“How was your summer, Remus?” I asked with such glee that I had derailed Alice's attempt to talk me out of pursuing the job as an Auror. I knew it was dangerous, especially during these dark times, but it was what I wanted to do. I didn't want to try and convince her, nor did I want to explain it yet again.

“It was good,” Remus said with a warm smile. When he smiled, it was hard not to smile back. He could be infectious, and I wondered why he never dated. I mean, sure, Sirius dated enough for the four of them, but still. “How was yours? Do anything interesting?”

“Mine was pleasantly uneventful,” I said. It was true. I had hung around Petunia all summer except when she was with her fiancé. I spent a lot of time with Severus. Thoughts of him reminded me that he was standing right there and I looked for him, but he had long since headed onto the train with our trunks and settled down in the prefects' carriage. “If you'll excuse me.”

I didn't wait for Alice or Remus' responses, just turned and headed on the train with determination. Severus was sitting on a bench, staring out over the sea of people giving their good-byes. I didn't ask if I could sit, nor if he was ok. I just sat down across from him and studied his face. He was pale, painfully so, despite the bit of time we spent outside reading under the hemlock trees together. I waited until he acknowledged me, waiting to speak, but he never did. The whistle of the train sounded and people hurried onto the train as it geared up, ready to pull away from the station. A few teary waves good-bye from the parents, and the train was off. Destination: Hogwart's School of Magic.

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