Nothing Left to Live For

RoryMichaelGranger

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 23/09/2009
Last Updated: 23/09/2009
Status: in_progress

Post DH Fic, picks up at Hogwarts before and ignoring Epiloge. Harry finds himself depressed searching for his place in life in a post war world. Does a hero who has served his purpose have anything left to give?

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

Nothing Left to Live For

Ch. 1- I Served My Purpose- Now Let me Die.

AN- Well I’ve decided to attempt writing again, mainly cause this idea is stuck in my head. With any luck I’ll also do some updating for my other fic as well. The idea for this story comes from real life. As I’m right now searching for a reason to keep going every day. This chapter is written in Harry’s point of view. Hope you enjoy.

Misery.

I sit here in misery while those around me are elated at the fall of Lord Voldemort. Hermione doesn’t get it, she keeps telling me I’m free to live my own life again. No more prophecy hanging over my head, no sadistic bastard chasing after me forcing me to cautiously check ever corner I turn. But what life do I have to live? I’ve served my purpose. If I was thinking straight at the time I think I would have gotten on the train at King’s Cross with Dumbledore and headed into the afterlife. But no Harry Potter can’t do that and leave his friends to deal with Voldemort cause he has this stupid fucking saving people thing.

Ron expects me to go running back to Ginny, be a nice happy couple, just like he thinks he and Hermione will be. I’ve been down that road and honestly so has about 80% of the male population of Hogwarts. Of course Ron doesn’t know his sisters the sluttiest witch of her age. Hell I didn’t find out until the second week of our “relationship”. I should have seen it after the Quidditch cup celebration.

*****

“Come on Harry I want to show you something special.”, Those were the words she used as she took me to the room of requirement. I should have been suspicious then and there but I was overwhelmed with joy that Ginny had returned my feelings. I let her summon the room so that it would meet her needs, and again I missed the major clue to Ginny’s promiscuous ways.

We entered the room to a large and comfortable looking bed, draped in Gryffindor red and gold. The bedding was silk, and before I knew it Ginny had thrown me back on it.

“Well Harry its just you, me, some candles and this big empty bed. What ever shall we do.”, Ginny asked in a seductive tone. I was stunned and silent, this was a side of Ginny I didn’t realize existed. My brain wasn’t functioning or I’d have wondered how many of her previous boyfriends had seen this very room.

“Hmm, I think I have a few ideas Harry. Only I’m all sweaty from the Quidditch match, why don’t you wait a minute so I can grab a quick shower.”, Ginny said as she sashayed away. I was stunned at the over exaggerated wiggle in Ginny’s hip. The seductive red head struck me silent and sent all blood coursing south when she dropped her pants giving a clear view of her backside before slipping through an unnoticed door.

I should have seen it then, it was all too well practiced. Yet I still didn’t notice, perhaps I was dumbstruck seeing a naked girl for the first time in my life. Especially one I had developed feelings for. My mind was racing with various ideas and fantasies. I was about to lose my virginity.

“So Harry, do you like what you see?”, Ginny asked drawing my attention back to the door she went through moments before. She stood there in an extremely short sheer pink baby doll. The light pink made her hair dance with flames. Just visible through the top were the darker red nubs of her nipples. What remaining blood that hadn’t gone immediately to my member at the sight of her backside went immediately there. Ginny stretched and patch of red curls showed just beneath the hem of her top. It was at that point that I blacked out.

When I came to I was lying in the bed wrapped in the silk sheets. I was wearing less then I had on when I came into the room.

“I decided to undress you so you’d be more comfortable.”, It was Ginny’s voice whispering softly in my ear. Her hand traveled down my chest before resting on the bulge in my underwear. “Of course with so much stuffed in these tiny boxers maybe we should get rid of them and make you really comfortable.”

She didn’t wait for a reply as she worked my boxers to my knees leaving me full exposed. I didn’t know what had come over her, an hour ago we shared a kiss in full view of the common room next thing I know we’re lying naked in bed together. Well nearly naked she was still clad in her barely there teddy.

“Ginny stop it.” I protested, pulling the sheets across myself to try to regain some modesty.

“What don’t you want me?”, She pouted.

“Not like this, your throwing yourself at me like some easy fan girl just trying to get into the “Boy Who Lived” pants. Its disgusting.”, I told her as I rolled out of her grip and began searching for my clothes.

“Are you serious? All the guys before you melted when I did this for them and your getting dressed? What are you a queer?”, She asked. Their was hurt in her voice at being turned down, but their was also anger.

I sighed, “I’m serious and no I’m certainly not gay. Is there something wrong with taking time before you jump right into bed. And what did you mean all the other guys, just how many other guys have you done this for?”

“What does it matter how many I did this with, I’m doing it for you now. They were all practice.”, Ginny said reaching out for me as I pulled my jeans on. “Please I want you.”

“How many?”, I asked. Though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

Ginny thought for a moment before replying, “Eight.”

“Eight? Ginny you’ve shagged eight guys? You realize that pretty much makes you a slut.” I told her in disgust.

“Well if eight makes me a slut then the six I didn’t bring in here makes me the Hogwarts Broom. At least that’s what most the boys call me.”, She told me.

“Hogwarts broom?”, I asked confused.

She smirked, a glimmer of pride in her eyes as she said, “Every boy in school’s ridden me.”

I coughed in disgust, “Your proud of that fact? You’re a sick person Gin, you need help.”

“I don’t need help, I need cock, now stop bitching and come fuck me or I’ll go get Dean to take care of me again.”, I could tell she was being serious and not just taunting me.

It was all I could handle, I started to walk out. I told her we were over, and for the most part we were. She begged me to wait, asked me to help her save her reputation some. I doubt our month of dating did anything, we were seen snogging every so often just to make it appear real. It was empty and hollow though and I had finally had enough the night Dumbledore died. I told her at the funeral that I couldn’t do it anymore, she accepted without a fight.

****

Sorry Ron I won’t be running back to Ginny and giving Molly the big happy Weasley family she wants. And that brings me back to square one, I’ve got nothing to live for, at least not in the wizarding world. How can I find love and sincerity in the wizarding world now that I’m a hero. I’ll be hounded by fan girls at every turn. I keep wishing more and more that Voldemort finished the job. I’m sure someone else would have been able to kill him once I destroyed the horcruxes. I could always convert some galleons into pounds and hide out in muggle London for a few years. Take the time to find myself and my reason to live.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding out.”, A voice called out breaking my train of thought. I turned to see Hermione.

“Oh hey.”, I replied before turning my head back down to my shoe laces.

“Oh hey, is that the best I can get?”, She asked as she took a seat next to me. “You know its raining out here, I’m sure it be more comfortable to brood indoors.”

“How’d you know where I was?”, I asked. It was no point arguing her brooding remark.

“Hmmm all the world’s celebrating and Harry’s no where to be found. Lets think about where he runs. Well we’re at Hogwarts after what happened last night I would think the room of requirements is out. You’d avoid Hogsmeade because the celebration. The Great Hall is filled with families, and Hagrid and Grawp are repairing Hagrid’s hut. Common sense says you’d come to Dumbledore’s tomb. But the question isn‘t where are you, it’s why are you here?” I hate when Hermione is right. And she systematically broke down my thinking to find where I’d be. She probably came here first.

“Well didn’t you already state why I was here, I’m brooding.”, I answered her.

“What about, the weight of the world is off your shoulders, you finally get to live your life again.”, She said with a bit of glee in her voice.

“What life? What purpose? I never thought about living to see this day, where do I go from here?”, I asked her.

“Where ever you want to go, just make sure you take me with you.”, Hermione replied giving me a hug.

“I love you Mione, your always there for me.”, I told her leaning into the hug.

“I love you too Harry, and I always will be here for you, even if I have to hunt you down. Ron will too.” Hermione said lifting herself off the ground. “Come on he’s waiting for us.”

“Great I get to play third wheel.”, I grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing Mione, lead the way.” With that I followed my friend of 7 years into the next phase of life, one I still wasn’t sure I had meaning in.

AN- This is shorter then I wanted but its really just a set up.