Four Things Harry Never Said (and One He Did)

papermask

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 30/10/2010
Last Updated: 30/10/2010
Status: completed

Four things Harry didn't have the courage to say, and one that was too important to be afraid of.

Chapters

1. Four Things Harry Never Said (and One He Did)

1. Four Things Harry Never Said (and One He Did)

This story is posted for the Fuck Yeah Harry/Hermione Fic Fest 2010, and the prompt came from misplacedmoony LJ. I apologize if I got anything involving the timeline of the series wrong - I don't have the books in front of me right now. :P ANYWAY, without further ado, here is "Four Things Harry Never Said (and One He Did)". Enjoy. :)

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Number One

Harry didn't understand. It was his Firebolt, therefore, he should decide on whether or not to report it. He understood that she meant well, but it just annoyed him that Hermione would take it upon herself to decide what was best for him. It wasn't her responsibility, and it never would be. So why would she take something so important from him?

Her defense was that it might have been from Sirius Black, one of the many people who were trying to kill him. Harry could kind of understand her point of view, if he looked at it like that. But still - it wasn't her broom! She doesn't even like flying.

Harry had been sulking for the past few days. He had also been avoiding Hermione along with Ron, who claimed that Hermione had no right to report Harry's broom. Well, Ron was making a much less fervent attempt to avoid Hermione. Mostly so he could pick a fight with her. Frankly, Harry didn't really care right now; all he wanted was his broom back. He didn't care that Hermione had practically no friends to turn to right now, or that whenever he saw her, she had dark circles under her eyes and seemed to be losing weight. She must be studying more than usual, he guessed. Or maybe she was spending so much time buried in her books because she didn't want to face Ron or him. Harry felt a pang of guilt shoot through his body, but he pushed it away. He wasn't the one at fault here.

Harry felt much differently after the holidays. Harry's firebolt had been returned to him. He felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Now all he had to deal with was Ron accusing Crookshanks of eating Scabbers. The next day, Harry and Ron were invited to Hagrid's for tea, and had to explain why Hermione wasn't with them. Hagrid had been very disappointed in both of them for putting a broom and a rat ahead of their best friend. Harry recognized the familiar feeling of guilt rising in his chest, only this time, it was amplified.

When Harry next saw Hermione, he was leaving Lupin's office after being scolded for using the Marauder's Map. Hermione quickly informed Harry that Buckbeak's execution had been set and that they had to do something. Harry tried for days to find the right thing to say, the right amount of courage, and a proper time to apologize, to explain that he had been wrong. But, soon enough, he, Hermione, and Ron were under his invisibility cloak, heading down to Hagrid's hut, and there were more important things to do. Harry sighed under his breath. In that short amount of time, before Harry, Hermione, and Ron risked their lives once more, Harry could only think of one thing. 'I'm sorry, Hermione.'

Number Two

It was the end of another year, and Harry Potter was afraid. Voldemort was back. He had seen it with his own eyes. From the moment that his name had flown out of that goblet, it had all been leading up to this. Cedric Diggory was dead. The Ministry was blind. And Voldemort was back. Harry had hid most of his fear from, well, from everyone. The last thing that he wanted was for people to be staring at him even more.

The train station was busy with muggles bustling about. Some were late for a train, some early. Either way, they had no idea that their very existence was in danger. Maybe that's what Harry wanted. Pure, ignorant bliss. No more staring eyes, whispering lips, or frightening experiences. But, no, it's too late for that. Harry sighed and rubbed his scar before almost being knocked to the ground by a slightly blushing Hermione Granger. She yelled a quick "Bye, Harry!" before she kissed him sweetly on the cheek.

It was only a moment, Harry knew that. But it most certainly didn't feel like a moment. Once the soft static of Hermione's lips met Harry's cheek, time froze. All that Harry could feel was her skin against his, the softness of a strand of her hair that the wind had blown up to the side of his face, and the ever growing smile that he couldn't seem to stop.

Suddenly, Harry could only see flashbacks of the year that had been so frightening just a moment ago. He saw himself and Hermione walking along the lake, laughing in the halls, studying in the common room. He saw her various worried expressions whenever he competed in a task for the Triwizard Tournament. He heard her voice in the back of his head, encouraging him to keep practicing the Accio spell. Harry saw everything.

And then, as quickly as it had started, the kiss was over, and Hermione was smiling and waving and running to her parents. Harry didn't know what to do. He wanted to shout to her, to tell her how much he appreciated her, how he knew she believed in him, and how much that meant to him. But he couldn't. All he could do was watch her leave with her parents before he heard the rough voice of Vernon Dursley yelling at him to hurry up. Before Harry turned to go, he looked one last time at the empty space where Hermione had been and thought of only three words. 'Thank you, Hermione.'

Number Three

The air was crisp and cold as Hermione brushed the top of Harry's head with her hand. Harry lightly closed his eyes as her hand ran through his hair. Hermione exited into the tent as Harry turned around, trying to recapture her attention, but to no avail. She had responded to his dismissal, and though she was only feet away, Harry felt that he had sent her out of the world.

Harry turned back around, hunching over for warmth. The feeling of Hermione's touch took hold of Harry's mind. That simple, loving touch suddenly meant more to him than any other show of affection he had ever experienced. More than any other touch, more than any hug or kiss with Cho and even Ginny. That one touch…Hermione's touch.

Harry let the scene play over in his mind once more. He wished things were different. He wished this war was over. But, ultimately, he wished that he had spoken to Hermione the thought that had come into his head. 'Please don't go, Hermione.'

Number Four

Sunlight trickled in and out of the leaves of the park's trees. The air was light and cool, and Harry and Hermione were enjoying their weekly picnic. They lay on a checkered blanked, staring up at the clouds. It seemed like a scene from a movie - it was that wonderful. With the war long over, the wizarding world had been able to breathe for the first time in many years. Suddenly, Hermione sat up and turned to Harry.

"Harry, can I ask you something?" she said. Harry sat up, nodding his head. Hermione smiled a little, but then it faded.

"What is it?" Harry asked, slightly concerned. Hermione looked back up at him, her eyes deep and…sad?

"Harry, what would…I mean…how would you feel if…," she drifted off. Harry scrunched his eyebrows. Something wasn't right. He motioned for Hermione to continue. She looked down.

"Ron wants to marry me," she said very slowly. Harry felt his face go pale. Marriage? Hermione and Ron? He knew that they had dated each other shortly after the war was over, but he thought they had called it off weeks ago.

"Ron wants to marry you," Harry repeated, not sure of what to do. Should he tell her of his objections? But what if this was what she wanted? It would ruin their friendship forever if he protested. That's something Harry couldn't risk.

"I think it's a good idea," he said quickly. Hermione looked up at him, shock covering her face. But she was quick, and replaces her expression with a neutral one.

"I mean," Harry said, "You and he have been dating for a while, and maybe…it's the right time?"

There was a brief pause. Harry locked eyes with Hermione, and they are anything but joyful. Harry opened his mouth to apologize, but Hermione beat him to it.

"No, you're right, Harry. It is the right time," Hermione responded. She looked down again. Harry's mouth fell open again, but this time, he didn't speak. Hermione took her turn.

"I mean…if Ron and I get married, then maybe you and Ginny could get back together…or something. I don't know," she said, her voice wavering slightly. Harry didn't want this. He didn't want Ginny, that's why he had broken up with her. But it was clear that this was what Hermione wanted. Harry sighed. If it's what Hermione wanted...

They sat in silence for the rest of their picnic. Harry convinced himself it was for the best, and ignored what he really wanted to say. 'Don't do it, Hermione.'

Harry Speaks

The divorces weren't as messy as they were portrayed in the wizarding world's media. In fact, they were rather amicable. Well, as amicable as divorce can be, anyway. Harry and Hermione didn't really blame the media for how they depicted them. After all, an outsider looking in would probably have the same thoughts. Two people who divorce their spouses and then end up with each other? Of course they were having an affair. But the truth, as it often is, was far more interesting.

Harry and Hermione weren't romantically linked until after their divorces. Not to mention that Ron and Hermione divorced much earlier than Harry and Ginny did. The only truth to the lavish media stories was that Harry and Hermione did, indeed, end up together.

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3 Months after Harry and Ginny's Divorce

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The rain was coming down in heavy sheets. Harry and Hermione were curled up on the couch in Hermione's flat, sipping hot tea. Harry was skimming through the Daily Prophet while Hermione was absorbed in a very worn out copy of Hogwarts, A History. There was a peaceful silence between them as rain beat methodically on the windows.

Harry finished a guest piece by Luna Lovegood on the discovery of a new magical species that many had previously thought did not exist, but Luna had been warning others about for years. She called them nargles. Harry pointed the story out to Hermione, and they both laughed.

"Deep down, I think I might have always believed her," Hermione said. Harry let his smile broaden. Some time after Hermione's divorce from him, Ron had begun to date Luna. Although they were taking their relationship slow, it seemed to bring out the best in both of them. Recently, they had returned from a small adventure in Norway with Luna's two boys, Lorcan and Lysander where the discovery of a nest of nargles had taken place. Needless to say, the trip was very profitable for everyone involved.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, bringing Harry out of his reverie. He smiled at her.

"Yes?" Harry replied.

"What's on your mind?" Hermione asked, turning her attention back to her book.

"Just thinking about how things have turned out so far," he said. Hermione looked back up and returned Harry's smile. He looked at her, really looked at her. She was practically glowing. It had been a while since he had seen Hermione in such good health. Her skin was clear, her eyes sunny, and her hair…well, her hair was the same as it had always been, and yet, it had never looked better. Harry leaned over and cupped her cheek in his hand, but it was Hermione that pulled him into the kiss.

As their lips met, it was as if they could both retreat into their own world. Everything that had happened, throughout all of their frightening adventures and heavy experiences, everything had been leading up to this. Their life together. Harry pulled Hermione closer as she wrapped on arm around his neck.

But then, memories came flooding back to Harry. Memories of everything he had ever done that might have hurt Hermione, anything he had ever said, but most of all, everything he hadn't said. 'Tell her,' his mind yelled, 'Tell her you love her'. Harry felt the pressure of all of the words he never said and of all the moments he wasted. Harry pulled apart from their kiss, leaving Hermione with a curious look.

"I love you, Hermione," he whispered, not breaking eye contact. She smiled.

"I just want you to know, because after everything, after all that's happened-," Harry started before Hermione pressed her mouth against his once more. They both smiled against each other's lips.

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The four things that Harry never said might have changed his life, and Hermione's. It might have made many things much simpler. But, in the end, the most important thing that Harry said was the one thing he didn't need to say, because Hermione already knew.

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