Back to Black

This is a companion piece to chapter nine of my story, What's In A Name?, and I hope it's okay as a standalone piece. :)

"We only said goodbye with words,
I died a hundred times.
You go back to her,
And I go back to black."

-Amy Winehouse, Back to Black

Ginny Weasley's hands shook as she poured herself a glass of firewhiskey. She didn't care that most of it missed the glass and ended up staining the carpet. There was only one emotion running through her mind: rage. Despite her feelings toward Harry and her clear, albeit buried, jealousy toward Hermione, Ginny knew that this would happen someday. She always knew.

The day's events rushed through her mind at a stallion's pace. She saw herself storming in with Ron, ready for a fight. She saw the look of surprise on the faces of Harry and Hermione, and the look of shame on Ron's. It was all coming back, all of it, and more.

She could just see Hermione and Harry together, just like she always knew they would be. Ever since they were in school, Ginny had always felt that there was something between them, and now her worst fears were confirmed. She knew, she just knew that they were laughing, touching, caressing, kissing…loving.

Ginny let out a mangled screech and hurled the glass against the wall. She breathed heavily, heaving air in and out as she watched the firewhiskey drip down the wall. Deep down, she knew that she had only made herself look badly in front of Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but for fuck's sake, they knew! Harry and Hermione had been going behind her back, and they all fucking knew!

Slumping into the nearest chair, Ginny kicked off her heels. She knew that she was letting her famous Weasley temper get the best of her. It would only bring more pain to everyone involved if she didn't learn to control herself. But, damnit, this was something worth pain! This was worth a fight! This wasn't her fault. Was it?

Ginny felt her eyes well with tears. She didn't know how to react. Her whole life, all she ever had to do was stomp her feet or complain, and everything would work out in her best interest. But she knew that this was much more complicated than all that. There were more people involved. There were children involved. 'How could they do this to the children?' she thought. Ginny felt the tears fall freely now. Not because of the children, or because of her newly failed marriage, but because she knew that she had only made it worse. Ginny had jumped to conclusions about Harry and Hermione. She had pushed them away, tried to turn Ron against them, and it had only backfired. In the end, she just pushed them closer together.

She sat there for a few moments, drinking in the silence. Everything that she had thought she had built up over the years was crashing down. Deep down, she knew that Harry didn't cheat on her, and that her accusations toward Hermione were unfounded. They never hurt her, yet she could feel them twisting the knife. Her life was ruined. There was no going back now.

'It's all over now', she thought. She hated them. She hated Hermione, and Harry, and Ron. She hated her mother for promising her that it was meant to be. She hated the world. But, more than anything, Ginny Weasley hated herself. Because, in the end, she had always known.