Crave You

Celtic55

Rating: PG13
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 11/04/2013
Last Updated: 11/04/2013
Status: completed

"Do you want me like the other boys do? They stare at me while I crave you." It's their final night at Hogwarts and emotions are running high as the school hosts a farewell ball. Nearly every boy in the room has his eyes on Hermione Granger, except for the one gaze she craves; a certain pair of emerald green eyes.

Chapters

1. Crave You

1. Crave You

Author's Note: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else worth millions of dollars. This one shot was slightly inspired by “Crave You” by Flight Facilities, remixed by Adventure Club.

I apologize for formatting issues, I am having a lot of trouble uploading since I switched to Mac (I've tried every acceptable format). If you have suggestions, PLEASE let me know, I have like couple more stories I'd gladly post if you like this one.

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“Do you want me like the other boys do? They stare at me while I stare at you.”

-Flight Facilities

It was hard to believe that this would be the last night at Hogwarts. Returning to the castle after the war had been emotional turmoil for them all. It had also been strange joining a class that was always a year behind them at Hogwarts. McGonagall had offered the Golden Trio a chance to take their NEWTS without having to attend their seventh year, but Hermione had felt determined not to skip any coursework that may come in handy. For his part, Harry was still very invested in becoming an auror and despite being “The Boy Who Vanquished the Dark Lord” the auror department demanded that he finish some mandatory courses at Hogwarts first. Once Ron realized that he would be the only one trying to get out of seventh year he decided to just follow his two best friends. Besides, Hermione didn't feel too sure that Ron could pass the NEWTS without some serious review courses.

The year had started off tense and difficult. The three of them were hardly apart from each other, still clinging to one another for a sense of normalcy. Whatever romantic notions Hermione and Ron had entertained vanished and were replaced by a quiet and comfortable friendship. Halfway through the year Ron started to spend time Luna Lovegood, who had a calming effect on his shattered post-war nerves. This had led Harry and Hermione to spend even increasing amount of time together, if such a thing was possible.

After the war Harry and Hermione seemed to gravitate towards each other to find a center of comfort. After spending so much time hunting the horocruxes together, they hardly knew how to sleep without the comforting sound of the other one's breathing. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to fall asleep in the common room together, Harry propped up in the armchair fully dressed and Hermione balled up on the sofa.

Eventually these habits subsided, and the need to feel the other's presence wasn't as pressing and urgent. Still, they spent the majority of the day together, attending the same classes, going to meetings as the Head Boy and Head Girl, eating side by side in the Great Hall and studying in the library. It wasn't uncommon to see their arms pressed up against one another as they sat at meals, or for him to wordlessly lift her book bag from her shoulder and carry it for her between classes.

It was for these reasons that everyone in the school was certain that the two of them were in love with each other. It was like a repeat of fourth year as the Daily Prophet reported garbage about their secret love affair, and every girl (and many boys) gossiped wildly as they passed. Harry either didn't notice or didn't care. Hermione cared quite a bit, but not for the reasons one might expect.

In truth, she was madly in love with her best friend. And in truth, he did not feel the same way back.

Harry seemed to have no time or interest for love. While she had never directly broached the subject of her affections for him, she had tried to pry with questions about Ginny, or whether he thought he might start dating someone. He always easily dismissed her words, saying he wasn't interested or the timing was all wrong.

Thus, any hopes she had of capturing his heart were unwanted and she tried to dull the desire she felt for him. She didn't lie to herself about it though; this was a sort of love she had never felt before and doubted she ever would again. Everything about him she admired, from his intelligence, to his thoughtfulness, to his boyish, handsome charm. She had probably been in love with him for many years, but she hadn't realized it until the war was over and he was still alive and there was less of a reason to guard her heart.

He was the only person she felt right around; safe. They had always defended each other and faced every storm side by side. It was hard to believe that anyone else could make her feel as safe as he did. Mostly though, he felt like home. With her parents having no memory of her and him being an orphan they had become a sort of a unit. Each of them was always mindful to be sure the other didn't feel lonely on the holidays, and they were always taking care of each other in little ways like her nagging him to take care of his health or him questioning her about eating enough.

She was afraid of what would come now that their final night at Hogwarts was here. He was going to attend Auror training in a month, and she would be headed to the Institute of Wizarding Law shortly thereafter. She wondered if he would stay in touch; he had never been good about writing. She also wondered how she would manage to wake herself up in the morning knowing that he wouldn't be waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

She tried to shake all of these thoughts off as she put added the final touches of make-up to her face. She gave herself a glance in the body length mirror before deciding she was satisfied. There was a ball being held for all of the graduates. She hadn't been asked by anyone because every boy at the school (besides Ron and Harry) thought that she had some secret romance with The Boy Who Lived.

It was just as well. Despite her best efforts to dull the feelings she had for Harry, she wasn't sure she was ready to start an honest relationship with anyone. Nonetheless, she hoped it wouldn't be long until she could find someone to fill the void that was left by not being able to be with Harry in the way she dreamed of.

She had chosen a shimmering gold gown and she felt it was quite smashing. She gave a short twirl and the mirror declared its congratulations on her beauty. With a short smile she steeled herself for the night and headed down to the Common Room.

As usual, Harry was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Dressed in well tailored robes he looked so handsome that she had to tear her gaze from him to avoid plummeting down the steps. He had tamed his wild raven locks and he looked every bit the part of the hero.

“You look great” he said kindly when she reached the bottom.

“You didn't have to wait up for me” she teased, trying not to blush.

“I thought I'd look stupid walking in alone. Much better to walk in next to you!” he said, still openly gazing at her in a way that made a tingling sensation pass over her body. “Ron already left to escort Luna, I told him we'd see them there.”

“Sounds good” she said, trying to keep her tone even. He offered his arm and she took it easily and without thought.

“I should let you know, I released an official statement to the papers this morning” he said as they neared the Great Hall.

“Really? Whatever for?” she asked, confounded. Harry had never reached out to the media in the past.

“To let them know that you and I are not a couple. I believe they'll find some torrid way to twist that, but I believe you're used to such nonsense already.”

She felt her heart sink and nearly dropped his arm. Regaining herself she took a deep breath, pushing her emotions aside. “Yes, I'm sure they'll be printing all about what a scarlet woman I am” she said, but there was no humor in her tone.

He didn't seem to notice her sudden change in character, but he did suddenly stop walking, turning to face her and slipping her hand into his. He was standing close then, and if it wasn't for his sudden news she would have felt butterflies. “Listen, I know nobody asked you to the ball, and I know it was my fault. I may seem daft at times, but I'm not unaware how many blokes would give their right arm to spend time with you. I didn't want you to think... well, I didn't want you to think that guys weren't asking you because you're not fanciable. You're very fanciable.... what I mean to say is... well I'm no good at this sort of thing. But now that I'm not in the way, I reckon you'll have plenty of blokes looking to dance with you tonight.”

Every bloke except for the one daft bloke I'm in love with she thought bitterly. She managed a watery smile and they continued to the Great Hall.

She felt tears sting her eyes but she fought them back. It was clear that Harry had announced his single status because he was finally ready to move on with his life and start dating. It was also clear that he didn't think of her with any romantic intentions. He thought he was setting her free, but he didn't realize how much more complex it all was.

Stifling back her emotions she noticed how beautifully decorated the Great Hall was. It was positively ablaze with little spheres of orange light that danced along the starry ceiling. They found Ron and Luna looking cozy in a corner and Harry offered to get them all some punch. Ron decided to help and the girls watched as they strode off into the crowd together.

“It's wonderful that they've stayed such good friends” Hermione commented to Luna. “It's hard to believe that they met on the Hogwarts Express all those years ago and have become like brothers since.”

“The three of you have a very legendary friendship” Luna said dreamily. “But that isn't what you really want to be discussing.”

Hermione looked at the blond Hufflepuff with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I don't need to be a crumplenosed weeber to know that you're feeling sad right now.”

Hermione considered this for a moment. “It's just that we've all had so many memories at this castle. Some amazing and magical, some dark and terrifying. It's very emotional to leave it all behind.”

“It is sad, but as father always said, whenever one door closes another opens. Somehow, I don't think that leaving Hogwarts is what you're really sad about.”

Hermione gazed at the younger girl, nervous by her perceptiveness. Luckily, before she was forced to respond Harry and Ron were back with punch for everyone. “I promised Ginny a dance” Harry said shortly after downing his beverage. “Don't worry Ron, no funny business” he said with a wink.

Everyone knew that Ginny had fallen in love with Neville Longbottom the previous year, and if Harry was heartbroken about it he never said so. The two had resumed a friendship and there didn't seem to be any strain. However, Harry had always been closed lipped about his emotions, and Hermione often wondered if he wasn't secretly upset in some way.

Feeling like a third wheel, Hermione decided to go walk around and chat with some of her fellow students. As she walked the room she felt like many sets of eyes were fixed upon her. It was a sensation she had begrudgingly gotten used to, but usually she had Harry at her side to lessen the awkwardness. Suddenly, a gentle tap on her shoulder alerted her to someone standing directly behind her.

She turned quickly, her agility having somewhat improved thanks to having to constantly flee death for about a year. She came face to face with a set of bright blue eyes on a handsome face. It was a Ravenclaw student named Seth Bryant whom she had taken many classes with. Aside from his intelligence, he was quite well known for his boyish good looks and athleticism on the Quidditch field. He was a nice guy, and Hermione had always found him easy to get along with.

“Would it be too forward to ask for a dance?” he asked, a small smile playing across his lips.

The words “no thank-you” nearly escaped her lips, but she stopped herself. Any romantic ties with Ron were long dissolved, and Harry's recent maneuver with the media had made it clear her feelings were not reciprocated. Why should she always be lonely, why shouldn't she move on?

“I'd love to dance” she replied, feeling a genuine smile find its way to her face.

Seth was a very good dancer, both graceful and well practiced. Viktor Krum had been decent on the dance floor, but he was a bit boxy and lacked fluid movement in his motions. Harry was a rather terrible dancer, but as long as he avoided crushing her toes, he was fun to dance with and good for a lot of laughter. Ron had mostly refused to dance, although she currently spotted him trying to keep up with Luna's oddly abstract style.

“I must confess, you'll probably think me foolish but I've wanted to ask you on a date for quite some time” Seth said softly into her ear, drawing her attention back to him.

“Why didn't you?”

“Surely you already know the answer to that!” he guffawed. “You're the brightest, most accomplished witch in all of Hogwarts and possibly the entire wizarding world... it's a bit intimidating. Not to mention that you are beautiful if you don't mind me saying so.”

She blushed at his words, but they still made her feel good and warm inside. It had been a long time before any boy had called her beautiful. The closest she could recall was Harry exclaiming that he didn't think she was ugly. As they moved together into a slow song she felt herself relax. Maybe this night won't be so bad after all she pondered.

“There's hardly a boy in Hogwarts who doesn't fancy you, even some of the Slytherins! Unfortunately, you are in the company of a bunch of cowards. We may have stood up to fight when Voldemort stood at the gates, but none of us can seem to gather the courage to ask you to dinner!”

She laughed at how foolish it sounded. Such fuss over her seemed so unlikely. Although she no longer thought of herself as a plain, bushy haired bookworm, but Seth described her to be something like Helen of Troy. And that she was not.

Even more ridiculous was to think that there were dozens of boys with secret crushes on her, but the only one she loved had never once noticed her in that way. She looked for him in the crowd now and spotted him standing to the side, lurking in the shadows of the Great Hall as the festivities resumed around him. She suddenly felt a strong pull towards him, a need to make sure he was okay as she always did.

Seth followed her gaze to the Boy Who Lived. “Ah, and there's the other reason we were all such whimps” he laughed. “Nobody would dream of asking out the secret girlfriend of the one of the greatest wizards to live.”

“I was never his secret girlfriend” she snapped, rolling her eyes.

“I know, I figured it was all media hype. Still, you are always together, which makes the approach that much more difficult.” When she didn't respond he went on. “He looks a bit lonely over there. Maybe you should ask him to dance.”

She didn't want to be rude and started to offer a weak protest but he cut her off. “Hey, it's my fault for being a git and waiting so long to speak to you. I can't expect to hog your attention all night. Thank-you for the dance, and hopefully our lives will cross paths again in the near future.”

She smiled broadly at him, touched by his gentlemanly kindness. “I hope so too” she said softly, and after gently reaching up to kiss his cheek she sought Harry.

“I told you there would be loads of blokes hoping for a chance with you” he said as she sat next to him. “They all watch you wherever you go.”

“It's probably just the dress” she joked, gesturing to its brilliant shimmering material.

“I don't think so” he said dryly, not looking at her.

“What's wrong Harry?” she sighed.

“Nothing. Oh you know, just leaving Hogwarts. It's sad... it's the only real home I've ever known.”

“I know what you mean” she replied, thinking YOU are the only home I have left. She realized that she knew exactly how Seth Bryant had felt; to feel something but to be too cowardly to say it. So much for Gryffindor courage.

“Well, how about a dance?” Harry said, standing quickly and offering her his hand. “Let's think about the good memories we've had here, and hope there are many more to come.”

“I'll dance to that” she said softly, and for some reason tears were stinging her eyes once more.

The song that had started playing was slow and sweet, and the lights suddenly dimmed as everyone swayed to the rhythm. She thought about all of the moments between them; from the sorting hat to the Sorcerers Stone to riding Buckbeak over the lake. She tried to think only about the good times, such as the trio laughing in the common room or watching Harry catch the snitch.

For all the bad that had happened, for all the pain and loss, there was still so many beautiful and wonderful moments. She suddenly realized that he was staring at her quite intensely and that their faces were mere inches apart. She wondered what would happen if she abandoned all reason and kissed him then.

As she felt herself growing warm at the prospect she suddenly pulled back, ending the dance abruptly. He looked surprised and she panicked, unsure how to explain herself. “I have to... please excuse me” she blurted out, running off as tears leapt from her eyes.

She walked quickly, praying not to run into anyone, not bothering to wipe the tears from her eyes. As she nearly approached the common room she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and pull her quickly back. She grabbed for her wand but she abandoned it as she looked up into a familiar set of green eyes.

“What is wrong??” he asked, his tone a mixture of panic and agitation.

“I'm just being ridiculous, it's nothing” she said, pulling her arm from his grasp.

“After everything we've been through, do you really expect me to believe that?”

“I don't know Harry, but for once can you just let it go and not ask questions?”

He clearly didn't expect this. “Yes, I suppose I can do that. I just... I didn't mean to ruin your evening in any way. I hate to see you upset.” He stepped back and scratched his head, looking so confused, awkward and lost that she unceremoniously threw her arms around his neck.

He hugged her back without hesitation, holding her so tightly that her feet lifted slightly off the floor. She burrowed her face into his neck, not caring if he could feel her desperation. Even if we are only ever friends, I will always be able to have this. It will have to be enough.

“I hate to interrupt this sweet moment” said a voice that made them both jump. Harry spun quickly, pushing Hermione behind him instinctively.

A shadowy figure stepped forward towards them and the pale moonlight of a nearby window lit his face. Hermione gasped as Antonin Dolohov's haggard figure appeared just feet away, his wand poised. “Hands up high where I can see them” he rasped. It was clear that a life running from the law had not suited him well. He had managed to avoid the aurors after fleeing the final battle, but life of the run had him looking thin and sickly.

They raised their hands, Harry still standing firmly in front of her, nearly obstructing her view of Dolohov as he walked closer. “You've ruined my life Potter. I know that it's not long until I'm caught and given the dementor's kiss. But I refuse to die without bringing you with me. The mudblood will be a nice addition as well. I think I can die in peace knowing I served my Master well until the end.”

“You're a coward Dolohov for killing an unarmed wizard” Harry said, and there was a strange calm in his voice. He continued to raise his hands higher and as his jacket rose a bit she caught a glimpse of his wand tucked into the back of his belt. “You're also a fool if you think that I'll go down without a fight!”

As he shouted the final word, she quickly dropped her hands, grabbing his wand as he threw himself forward into Dolohov. Dolohov quickly blasted off an unrecognizable curse into Harry before crumbling under the force of Harry's full weight. Hermione wasted no time in sending a well aimed stunner over Harry's shoulder. Despite using an unfamiliar wand, her spell flew true this time and Dolohov went unconscious.

Hermione rushed to Harry's side to help him up and quickly realized that he wasn't moving. She felt a cold rush of panic as she used all of her strength to roll him off of Dolohov, positioning him so that his head was cradled in her lap. He was conscious but only barely and she felt a sharp cry rip from her chest as she saw the blood rapidly soaking through the fabric of his white button up. His torso was bleeding profusely and his shirt was torn in multiple places, as though he had been stabbed repeatedly in the abdomen.

“Oh God Harry” she said, trying to think about what to do. Was there a spell to stop this kind of bleeding? Could she somehow close up the wounds until Madam Pomfrey arrived? “Help!” she shouted not sure what else to do, her voice hoarse with fear.

The blood was everywhere, and although only seconds had passed it felt like an eternity as her mind scrambled to think of a single thing to heal a wound so severe. He can't die was all that she kept thinking. Not now, not like this.

There was a gentle caress on her chin and she felt the dizzying moment sharpen with absurd clarity as he used the last of his strength to tilt her head and bring her gaze away from the bleeding. She was looking into his eyes then and there was such sincerity in his expression that everything else ceased to matter. “It'll be okay” he whispered, and then he went limp in her arms.

**

It was just typical of fate that Ron was the first to find his two friends. He had seen Harry going running off after Hermione and decided he ought to check up on them both. He had excused himself from the ball, promising to be right back, and then headed off after them.

He was only a minute or so behind them. Yet it only took a minute for the world as he had known it to change. As he rounded the corner the first thing he saw was an unconscious Dolohov. The next was an impossible amount of blood as Hermione shouted for help.

He saw Harry touch Hermione's face and felt a surge of hope when he realized he wasn't dead. He wanted to stop and do something to help, but he knew that he couldn't do anything to stop that sort of bleeding. He dashed past an unmoving Hermione and just around the bend he came upon the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Go get help! Harry Potter's dying!” he gasped, his heart hammering wildly.

For once the Fat Lady didn't waste time with questions or dramatic posturing. She vanished from the frame and Ron hurried back to his friends.

Hermione was clutching Harry's limp body to her in a way that made the air leave Ron's lungs. His legs gave and he fell to his knees next to her. He reached out tentatively, touching her shoulder. She jerked violently in reaction, pulling Harry even closer to her as though Ron was trying to steal him away.

“It's me Hermione, help is coming” Ron said, his voice cracking as he started to cry. I can't lose Harry he thought, trying not to fall apart in front of her. Harry had been the rock of the trio for so long; always the bravest and boldest, always pushing them to be their best. After losing his brother, Ron couldn't bare to lose Harry as well.

There was a clambering of feet and bunch of noise as a dazed Ron was pulled away from Hermione's side. “Hermione dear, you need to let go of him” urged a stern Professor McGonagall, and Ron watched powerlessly as she burrowed herself even closer to his side.

“Mr. Weasley, a bit of help please?”

Ron snapped from his confusion and leapt to action, grabbing Hermione around the waist and pulling her away from Harry, whispering apologies and a bunch of other garbled nonsense. She let out a heart wrenching cry as she finally relinquished her grasp. She spun in Ron's arm, wrapping her arms around his neck and shaking as he held her. He could feel Harry's blood on her dress, soaking through his own clothing and it was all he could do to keep it together.

“He doesn't have a pulse” they heard Madame Pomfrey say, and Hermione jerked violently in his arms so he held her tighter. He craned his neck to watch as the mediwitch cast a spell over the motionless body, whispering “pulsum”.

Harry's body convulsed in a sickening way and there was a loud gasp for air as the blood began to surge from his wounds once more. Madame Pomfrey quickly whipped a bottle of blood replenishing potion from her apron and forced it down his throat. “It won't be long before he bleeds out again. Healing these wounds won't be easy though. I'm going to immobilize him and bring him to the hospital wing. Minerva, call St. Mungo's for support. I fear I cannot heal him on my own.”

With a quick nod they went their separate ways and Ron and Hermione followed Madame Pomfrey as she directed Harry's suspended body down the silent corridors. Ron vaguely noticed the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher wrapping Dolohov's body in thick ropes that flew from the end of his wand. If Harry dies the dementors won't get the chance to kill you because I'll kill you first Ron thought darkly.

When they reached the wing Madame Pomfrey locked them out, insisting that she would need complete silence if she was to save Harry's life. Neither of them tried to protest, too emotionally strained to speak. They sat slumped in the hallway leaning against the rough stone walls for support, their hands still grasped tightly together.

“He always survives” Ron said weakly when he found his voice again.

“He sacrificed himself for me” she responded in a small voice. “He threw himself at Dolohv to buy me time to grab his wand. If I could have somehow been faster...”

“Nobody is faster than you Hermione” Ron sighed, putting his arm around her shoulder. “And that's just what Harry does, he sacrifices himself. Even when it pisses us off and scares the bloody hell out of everyone.”

They were interrupted by the sound of approaching feet and both of them turned with wands pointed. Hermione vaguely realized that Harry's wand was still in her hand.

“It's just us!” said a familiar voice and Ginny Weasley stepped out of the shadows with Luna Lovegood by her side. “We heard what happened, is he going to be okay?”

“We really don't know” Ron admitted weakly. Luna sat on the other side of him, and Ginny flanked Hermione. Then the four of them just had to sit and wait.

**

When Harry woke up it was with an intense feeling of pain that made breathing incredibly difficult. His first thought was to realize that he was alive, and his second was to notice a soft pressure against his side. He turned his neck with a bit of effort and saw a head of brown hair resting against his shoulder. He smiled to himself, realizing it was none other than Hermione Granger who was sleeping beside him in the hospital bed.

They had slept in the same room many times, but never in the same bed. It felt nice, it even made the pain in his chest lessen a little. He had sometimes noticed Hermione and Ron holding hands while they slept during the horocrux hunt and he had wondered how it felt to have that connection. In fact, he secretly ached for it. He would never come between his two friends though.

She shifted slightly and he realized she was waking up. He was afraid she would leave his side and he clutched her upper arm, pulling her even closer to him in spite of the twinge of pain it caused.

“Harry, you're awake” she mumbled, shifting so that she was looking into his eyes.

“I'm surprised too... last I recall it seemed like it was quite bad.”

“It was” she said shortly, moving slightly away so she could sit up. Still, she didn't leave his side and he was grateful. “Your heart stopped for a while.”

“Again?” he grumbled jokingly. She didn't seem amused. “I'm glad you're alright though. You got Dolohov?”

“He's awaiting the dementor's kiss as we speak” she said, looking away from him and out the window where the sun was shining brightly.

“How long have I been out?”

“A week. It was touch and go for a while, but you stabilized a few days ago.”

“Shouldn't you have left Hogwarts by now? Classes ended...”

“As if I was going to leave Hogwarts with you on your death bed!” she exclaimed angrily. “Ron, Ginny, Luna and I all got permission to stay until you recovered. They'll be wanting to hear that you're awake.” She made to move but he grabbed her hand.

“Thank-you Hermione, for everything. You've always been by my side, and I don't want you to think I haven't noticed.”

She looked conflicted for a moment and then she met his gaze and there was a look so loving in her eyes that he was speechless. She brushed his hair back from his forehead, a simple gesture she had done many times but somehow it seemed to mean something more this time. It felt as though something had changed between them but he couldn't figure out what it was.

“Harry, I need to say something to you” she said, her voice tense and nervous. “I promised myself that if you... if you survived I wouldn't be a coward anymore and I would tell you the truth about how I feel.”

He felt a wave of panic wash over him. He had ruined her life. Because of him she had nearly died many times, she had been tortured and he knew she was plagued by nightmares. Because of him she no longer had a family to remember her and because of him she had been forced into the media spotlight in all sorts of ridiculous ways. He had always waited for the day that she would finally tell him it was too much, the day when she would ask for distance.

“I'm in love with you Harry.”

This is not at all what he had expected and he took in a sharp breath of surprise. She stood suddenly, running her fingers through her hair, pacing around his bed in a dizzying fashion. “I know you don't feel the same, and I couldn't expect you to. But I think I've known for a while now, and it's always been too difficult for me to say so. Loving you is... scary. But I just wanted you to know, and I hope it won't change the way you think of me, as a friend.”

“Hermione... I...”

“You don't have to say anything. At least now you know. I should get Ron, Ginny and Luna. I'll have to owl Mrs. Weasley too, she's been sick with worry, and...”

“Hermione, I love you!” he shouted with all the force he could muster. “If I wasn't confined to this damned bed I would be grabbing you now and make all this pacing stop. I love you, I'm in love with you... whatever. How could I not be? You have been... well you've been everything to me Hermione.”

She stopped moving towards the door, fearing turning around to face him in case she had heard him wrong. “But you are always saying you're not ready to be with anyone.”

“I wasn't ready to be over you” he corrected her. “But I didn't want to tell you that. Even if there was a slim chance you would feel the same way towards me, I didn't want to ruin any chances you might have at one day having a normal life. That's also why I told the media we aren't a couple, I wanted you to have a chance for happiness, even if it was with some other bloke, even if it did make me feel insane with jealousy. With my life things are always complicated. And I've accepted that, but I don't want to ruin your life anymore than I already have.”

She turned towards him, tears shining brightly in her eyes, and he was captivated by how beautiful she looked in that moment. “Harry, I always chose complicated because I always choose you. And I always will choose you, no matter the consequences.”

“That's what I'm afraid of” he admitted, a lump forming in his throat as he spoke all the words he had kept buried down deep. “I don't deserve that sort of commitment.”

Her eyes burned with a sudden fury. “Damn the Dursleys!” she said unexpectedly and she walked towards him briskly. He was unsure whether she was going to hit him, hex him, or hug him. But instead she did something she had never done before, and she kissed him. It started as a soft kiss but it quickly built with an electric passion or years of built up emotions.

“Damn the Dursleys for making you think you don't deserve to be loved” she said softly when she pulled away. “Because nobody in the world deserves it more.”

She kissed him again, and the pain seemed to be entirely gone from his body. No matter the consequences he thought happily to himself, and for once he allowed himself to just be at peace.

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