Dream Catcher

Nym13

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 18/05/2013
Last Updated: 18/05/2013
Status: completed

We were each other's medicine; something the two of us needed to heal… The only catch is that…We saw each other in Dreams…R&R. Oneshot

Chapters

1. Dreams

1. Dreams

AN: Hi! It’s Nym13 again! I am proud and happy to present to you my favourite story among all the Harmony stories I’ve written. I’m quite proud of this, I know there are way better fics than this, but really, I love this story of mine. And I hope you’ll love it, as much as I love it too.

PS: I know this is long and you guys don’t like stories like mine but please give me a chance…

Disclaimer: If JK listened to me…oh that’s right, if I owned it would I begin the sentence in that way?

Warning: AU.

XXX

I heard a phrase once…

Someone said it’s not good to dwell in dreams…

Some would say no one would prefer dreams over reality, unless the dreamer was delusional and lived such a sad and lonely life…

But I wasn’t sad nor lonely, and neither was she…

Maybe we were…

It’s just that there was just something the both of us needed, and the other just happened to have it…

We were each other’s medicine; something the two of us needed to heal…

The only catch is that…

We saw each other in Dreams…

XXX

“He’s dead…”

“He’s dead…”

“He’s dead…”

Those words kept ringing inside my ear. A simple truth, a fact even, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to accept the reality that he’s dead.

Dylan Rodd; a school mate of mine and a member of my Auror team was dead, because of me…

“It’s not your fault…”

They would tell me, everyone would reassure me; even his family seemed to comfort me.

“Everyone dies; he got to choose how…”

Kingsley Schacklebolt said those words at his funeral service. Sometimes I wonder if we get to choose the manner of our deaths at all. Maybe, the so called choice is an illusion so we wouldn’t feel the painful reality that it is what our duty requires of us; to give up our lives…

Requirement is not a choice.

“He lived a remarkable life, and he will be remembered…”

I wonder how much of a greater person he would have been, maybe just maybe, more people would have remembered him if he was given more time. More time to live and to just stay for a while. His time, his life, it was all just too short. No one just lives and dies at twenty-two.

I took a swig out of my half-empty bottle of firewhiskey.

Yesterday was just his funeral service and even though I was physically fine, I filed a month’s worth of leave from the ministry. My parents are worried about me, but they didn’t try to push the subject. People are starting to talk about me…

I don’t care.

I just wanted to mourn a little for my recklessness and consider my options if I truly did want to continue being an Auror.

Four years of training and schooling, all of those I have endured, and just because a comrade of mine dies I was willing to let go of my dream? That is what people think.

But I can’t live with the nightmares, the guilt, and the paranoia while I’m out in the field. I think I’m going out of my mind with trying to be careful and watching everyone’s back to make sure no one dies because of me. I can’t go through it again.

I have nightmares all the time. I want to move on, but how can I? I keep seeing, feeling and relieving the painful reminders of my shortcoming. It doesn’t help that my mum has banned me from using dreamless sleep potion; she reckons getting addicted to it won’t help. I turned to firewhiskey instead.

I doubt she knows that it’s equally addicting.

“Harry…Harry, are you in there?” I heard the voice of Luna Lovegood echo from my floo connection. I sighed and pulled a white t-shirt over my head, and searched the bed for my jeans before grabbing my round spectacles from the table and walking out of my room barefooted.

“Morning Luna…” I told her as I saw her face in my floo connection.

“Morning Harry. You look awful by the way…” Luna told me off handedly.

“What is it?” I asked her being straight to the point; I wanted to be left alone, the sooner I entertain her, the sooner she’ll be gone.

“It’s my shop opening today. Obviously, you’ve forgotten what with wrackspurts infesting your brain. Really Harry, you should visit my shop maybe you’d find something that might help you.” Luna told me calmly and unfazed. And I just blinked at her in surprise. Truly, only Luna would talk to me in this way.

Everyone seems like they’re stepping on egg shells when they talk to me, handling me as if I’m some sort of delicate china that might fall apart if they said the wrong words. At the very least, Luna gave me a sense of normalcy.

“Fine, let me get decent. I’ll be there…”

“Okay, see you soon.” Just like that she’s gone.

I took one final breath and willed myself to move my arse. I made a promise to my friend. I might feel like crap, but I do not wish to get the people around me involve. If I was going to drown I don’t want anyone to sink with me. That is why I’ve been staying in my flat all this time and not once going out. I’d hate to see the look on my parents' faces if they saw me this way. They’d be so disappointed and worried about me and they might feel the need to baby me. My friends would all hold what they’re doing just to try and make me feel better. I did not want that, especially since Ron is now in a middle of practicing for his first Quidditch match as Chudley Canon’s official keeper is in a month’s time. Everyone has lives to live and I don’t want them to stop living just because I decided I needed a break.

It’s better if they just think I want to be alone for now. I can handle myself, I truly do believe I’d get better someday. It’s best if I do it alone, but that doesn’t mean I did not miss any of them.

This reminds me…

I got to keep my promise to Luna.

XXX

When I think of shop openings, I always thought it was more of a gathering, an event even.

There would be flowers, ribbons, confetti and other paraphernalia that might be explosive, or eye catching. Especially in the wizarding world as magic always did wonders.

Regardless of the expected extravagant exterior, one thing has been always constant during openings. People…

People are always present; people are the main attraction for the interior. That has always been the one thing all of the openings seem to have in common.

Something that Luna’s shop opening seemed to be lacking severely.

“Hello?” I heard my voice echoing along the aisles. The shop seemed to be neat but vacant. There were rows of shelves with trinkets here and there. Weird hats, accessories, amulets, talismans, Quibbler magazines, glasses of different coloured lenses, jars of herbs, candles with instructions and just about anything one can find all compressed in one shop.

It was only then that I realized I never really asked Luna what her shop was selling. One thing was clear though, Luna didn’t seem to be in her shop as the counter seemed to vacant. I decided to call her name again…

“Luna?” I heard my voice bouncing back from the walls, the only sound I could hear was that of my own breathing, it was deserted here. Maybe Luna was out? But who would leave an open sign at a shop if no one was in it?

“Luna?” I called once more.

“In here Harry!” I finally heard my friend’s voice but I still could not see her.

“Where are you?” I’m starting to think maybe Luna had her own invisibility cloak.

Finally, I saw her blonde hair peeking from under the counter, and when she emerged she dusted the dirt off her multi-coloured sweater and purple pants.

“What were you doing?” I heard myself ask Luna.

“Oh, I just happened to drop my earring and it took me some time to find it…” Luna explained and I just nodded my head in acknowledgement, although I would have said that a simple ‘accio’ would have solved her problem.

“You seem to have a lovely shop Luna.” I told her as I scanned her shop once more. It was quite peculiar to be honest as I really did not know what her shop was supposed to be, there were too many trinkets, potions, and clothes; each one unique, too unique to find a common ground for.

“You’re too polite Harry. Well, since you’re my first customer I’m going to let you choose one object from this shop.” Luna told me excitedly and I could not help but note she didn’t seem disappointed that I’m the only customer here. I doubt she invited our other friends.

“Luna, doesn’t it bother you I’m the only one here?”

“No, not really. I didn’t inform anyone else and I placed strong ‘notice-me-not’ charms outside.” Luna told me unperturbed; truly this girl never ceases to confuse me.

“You don’t want to get noticed, on your opening day?” I clarified and Luna merely nodded.

“What a strange publicity stunt…” I managed to say out loud, although I doubt Luna was offended by it.

“It’s not so strange at all Harry. You see I have a certain belief that every time someone comes inside a shop, they’re always in it for they believe the shop has something they want or need. Many times people go into shops and turn away empty handed. I don’t want that. I want that when my customers come in they’ll be able to find something that they need. And if they do then I’ll be satisfied knowing that my shop has served its purpose.” Luna explained.

“Okay…I still don’t see how I fit in this equation.”

“Well, you’re the most disturbed of our friends as of the moment, so I want you to be the first customer my shop serves.”

“Most disturbed?”

“Yes. Now Harry, how can I help you?”

“Help me? I don’t suppose you have something that’ll make me stop dreaming have you?” I told Luna trying to humour her.

“I have dream catchers. But if you’re looking for a dreamless sleep potion then you must know this isn’t an apothecary Harry.” Luna told me seriously. I didn’t even bother to tell her I was only joking, for she had caught my attention with what she has said.

“Dream Catcher?”

“Yes. They don’t get rid of dreams. Rather, they chase away bad dreams and provide you good ones. Would you like to see them?” Luna told me as she grabbed a leather case from her wooden shelves and sat it on the counter. She slowly opened the silver lid and there inside it, casted against a red velvet wall were different kinds of dream catchers; each one has its own unique colour and design. I gazed at them almost transfixed. They were small circles with colourful threads weaved inside them producing intricate web like designs, and some beads and feathers seemed to serve as their tail as well.

“Harry, close your eyes.” Luna’s voice broke my reverie.

“Why?”

“Just do it.” She told me instead and I decided to not question her anymore and slowly closed my eyes.

“Wingardium Leviosa…” I can hear Luna saying the spell and at that moment I was thoroughly confused as to why she used the levitating charm.

“Now, stretch out your hand and grab the first object that feels right to you.” I can hear Luna’s voice instructing me and at that moment I had the faintest idea as to what she wanted me to do.

I grabbed the first object my hand managed to collide with. I almost dropped it since it felt cold to my touch, it almost seemed like silver; cold and heavy.

“Now, open your eyes.” Luna’s voice broke out once more and so I did what I was told. When I opened them I was painfully aware that there seemed to be a hundred dream catchers encircling Luna and I.

Luna casted a spell once more and all the dream catchers flew passed me and back to their respective places inside the leather case.

“I see you have picked well, that dream catcher is quite an antique, probably older than our grandparents.” Luna commented and I slowly brought my hands up determined to inspect the piece that I managed to grab. When I opened my closed fist, I realized that the ring was made of bronze and it was slightly rusty. The web like threads was the colour white, and the beads and feathers were black.

“It’s yours now Harry, enjoy it…”

Normally I would insist to pay for it but at that moment it was as if I was on a trance, I simply nodded, thanked Luna and left the shop.

As I was looking at the dream catcher in my hands I noticed there was an inscription against its bronze ring, I figured it looked like ancient runes. I did not bother to think much of it after. I never took ancient runes; seriously, I already accepted the fact that I was too dumb at it.

XXX

“No!”

I woke up again screaming. I feel sweat pouring down my forehead and cascading down to my shoulders and leaving a cold trail behind. I was gasping for air as I felt my lungs constricting and aching; the heaviness of my guilt has kept on twisting my insides in an attempt to be free from my system, but instead I just felt myself burning up and in pain. I wonder if my insides were bleeding. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was suffering from internal haemorrhages.

I sighed and tried to swallow the bile that seemed to clog up my throat but I found my mouth as dry as the Arabian desert and my tongue was scratchy and rough like newly bought sand paper. Merlin, I feel like crap.

I reached out my hand and grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey perched on top my dresser and took a long swig from it. It was bitter and it left a hot burning trail as it raced down to my empty stomach, but I felt better somehow.

I ruffled my hair in frustration. When will I ever be rid of these stupid nightmares? Sooner or later they’d have to die; like fire turning to embers. But I suspected the nightmares wouldn’t stop, not until it has completely devoured me in its vengeful flames.

I rubbed my temples in frustration. What does a guy have to do to get a decent sleep? I looked across my dimly lit room; everything was pitch black and hazy under the gaze of the fading moonlight. I scanned the room once more until it landed on an object hanging from my study table. It was daintily glistening as if alluring me, entrancing me, and mocking me to take it.

I decided it wouldn’t harm me if just for this night I take the chance and wear it. Besides, what have I got to lose? Hopefully, it’s the nightmares.

I crossed my room and pulled the dream catcher and roughly placed it over my head and left it dangling from my neck. The cold bronze hitting my bare chest was a little discomforting but the headache I was slowly having felt a lot worse. I decided to go back to sleep as I was too exhausted to do anything else.

The last coherent thought I could remember was the faint weight of the dream catcher against my chest. Then the intoxicating sense of nothingness laid beside me.

XXX

Blue…

That’s the first colour I could see.

Dew…

Is the first thing that I could smell.

Dirt…

Was the first thing that I could touch.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes in confusion. Where was I? I looked around and I noticed for the first time that my eye sight wasn’t blurry even without my glasses. I looked around me, I was in some sort of a meadow. There were tall grasses everywhere and yellow daffodils. The sun was bright and there were only a handful of clouds, and the wind was cool. If I must say so myself, this weather and this place seemed to be perfect for flying. I saw a small hill not far from where I was lying. An apple tree was growing there. Seeing this, I decided to climb it.

As I was nearing it, I noticed a curled up form of a girl sleeping. She was wearing a plain white sun dress and her thick and long curly brown hair was spread out in the grass. She was just sleeping there, her breathing even and she looked so serene and calm. I was almost tempted not to wake her. But I needed answers. I needed to know where I was, and why I was here.

I slowly sat down beside her and contemplated how I should wake her. I was about to when I noticed her shifting. She stretched out her limbs and yawned. And for the first time I had seen her face. She didn’t look ethereal but somehow I knew she was quite pretty. Her face was devoid of any make up and I can see a few freckles scattered across her nose, but she had thick dark lashes, a cute button nose and nice rosy cheeks and lips. She was definitely pretty.

Slowly, she brought up her hands to rub her eyes. I noticed her features scrunching up in confusion and bewilderment. She sat up suddenly as if burned from her place and begun staring frantically at the place that she has wakened upon.

Her brown eyes finally landed on mine. The confusion that used to reside in them was gone, replaced by familiarity and recognition. Her brown eyes stared deep into mine. The trust in them was so apparent that it took my breath away.

“Harry, where are we?” She asked me in a scratchy voice, it was clear that her throat was still hoarse and dry from waking up. I was surprised that she knew my name when I knew that I had just met her.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you knew.” I told her honestly and she just nodded her head in understanding, and once again she began shifting in her place, as if looking for something.

“Excuse me, but I was wondering have we met?” I asked her and she halted in her search and looked at me in disbelief.

“Harry James Potter, whatever your game is I will not be playing it. Where is my wand?” She told me in a commanding voice that I could not help but be surprised. The tone that she used was spoken with such ease, no reservations as if she has been using it on me for years.

“Look, you clearly know who I am. But I honestly don’t know you. Regarding your wand, I do not have it. It seems I lost mine as well. I’m just as confuse as you are…” I told her and for a while she just stared at me disbelievingly, but slowly, acceptance seemed to gather in her eyes and she just sighed in defeat.

“Okay, I believe you. Someone must have put a spell on us, and sent us here; clearly, he might have meddled with your memory.” She told me as she stood up and begun dusting the grass stains off her dress. I too stood up.

“How come you’re not wearing glasses?” She suddenly asked. I’m surprised by how much this girl seems to know about me.

“Don’t know, but you got to admit my new look really brings out my eyes…” I told her cheekily but her face just scrunched up in confusion.

“Harry, can you see at all without them? I know from experience how awful your eyesight is…” She told me and I cannot help but note how concerned she seemed to be.

“Yes, I can see well. When I woke up I wasn’t wearing them but I can see well.” My statement seemed to have calmed her a bit and she has begun to pace around and I noticed for the first time that we were both barefooted.

“There must be some sort of an explanation for this. Tell me, what is the last thing you remember?”

“Oh, well, I was in my flat and uhm… I woke up, I decided to try and wear Luna’s dream catcher…”

“Dream catcher?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Oh my God! It all fits now.”

“What does?”

“Luna sent me a package today, saying it was hers and Rolf’s birthday gift to me…” The girl told me and I’m surprise she knows about Luna too, but who is Rolf?

“Wait, you know Luna? And who’s Rolf?”

“Harry, I swear you must have hit your head somewhere. Of course I would know who Luna is; after all she’s been our friend since fifth year. And Rolf is Luna’s colleague, they’re in Egypt presently, studying ancient artifacts and art. Both trying to find evidence that Egyptians have seen a scrumpled horned snorkack. She said she bought the dream catcher from an antique shop there and decided she’d give it to me.” She told me.

“No, Luna’s in Britain. She just opened a shop in Diagon Alley.” I told her sternly, I would have known if one of my friends were out of the country. Although, I’ve known Luna since I was in second year when she and Ginny had become friends, but that is beside the point.

“Shop? You know what it’s clear someone jinxed us. Just let me talk for a moment, I think I might have found a connection…” She told me in a patient air that I wondered if she has been immune to my condescending tone as I am certain it’s my first time using it on her.

“Okay, go on…”

“You wore a dream catcher before you fell asleep, and for the sake of trying it, I also wore one before bed. I suspect the dream catchers might have something to do with it, and maybe…”

“Are you suggesting we’re in the dream world?” I asked her.

“I never said that. But maybe, it’s a possibility since the last thing we both remember is falling asleep wearing our dream catchers. Although clearly something must have gone wrong on your end since you don’t remember the facts…”

“Oh, how are we not sure that this isn’t just a dream? My dream perhaps…” I asked her challengingly. She stuck out her nose at me defiantly.

“We’ll have to wake up to establish that. In case you haven’t noticed, we just did. We woke up and we’re in this foreign land, with no wands, and your head is all…all…”

“Go on…my head is all?” I taunted her and this time we were already screaming at each other. Clearly we’re both confused, asking the questions to one another when clearly, we both don’t know the answers.

“It’s all fuzzy, and wrong!”

“Great then, we just established that wrackspurts exist. Maybe we should owl Luna, at least someone would be ecstatic.”

“Ugh! I’m just so confused. I’m trying to figure out why we’re here, and why…why you seem to remember Luna, though clearly your perception of her is distorted but you can’t remember me…your best friend!” I can sense the shaking of her voice and her brown eyes had suddenly turned misty. I just met her, and I knew deep down in my heart that that is the truth, but maybe just maybe, she wasn’t lying as well.

“I don’t want to upset you, but I really don’t know you. And my best friend’s name is Ronald Weasley.” I told her. I thought if I gave her a name she’ll recognize that I’m telling her the truth. Instead of seeing the realization dawning in her face she laughed a bitter laugh.

“Of course, you’d remember Ron. It’s always been that way hasn’t it?” She told me sadly and I can sense there seemed to be a history behind her muse.

“Who are you, what’s your name?” I asked her, realizing for the first time that I still don’t know her name.

“You truly don’t remember me?” She asked me once more, and I merely nodded my head, I was getting tired of this conversation.

“Hermione Jane Granger.” She told me as she stretched out a hand at me. And as I raised my hand to take hers I realized it’s as if her hand had a long scar. The moment I took hold of her hand instead of shaking it, I turned it towards me. And there on her arm was a worded scar. Her scar says ‘mudblood’. Even though I don’t know her I feel as though a grave crime has been committed against her, something she so clearly doesn’t deserve. I ran my thumb across her jaded skin.

“Who did this to you?” I asked her, and she looked at me and just stared at my green eyes, her face not once betraying her emotions within. Then slowly, she raised a hand up to touch my forehead and brush a few black tendrils away. Her eyes were searching and by her intake of breath I can sense that she didn’t find what she was expecting to see.

“I…you’re not Harry are you?” She told me wrenching her hand off from mine.

“What are you talking about? I am Harry James Evans Potter.” I told her once more. Truly she confuses me; first she calls me by my name and now she accuses me of not owning it?

“Harry has a scar and you don’t. That explains why you’re story isn’t consistent with mine. Who are you really? Where is Harry?”

“I’m Harry! Hasn’t it crossed your mind that maybe there are two of us?” I told her in frustration. I didn’t even know what I was talking about anymore. All I knew was that I was tired and furious. I felt like I was spiralling into a delusion where I no longer recognize what’s real and what’s just a dream.

I can see she was livid. Her presence suddenly held a threat; a threat to my safety. She pounced on me and started hitting my chest in frustration.

“Where is Harry?” She demanded, she was strong, that I had to admit. I tried to hold her back, but we were on top a hill, and she was too strong. I lost my balance and we both stumbled, and rolled down the hill.

I can feel us all getting tangled in a mess of limbs and just as I neared the ground I felt myself being sucked, pulled out and then…

Black.

XXX

“Ugh!” I fell off my bed and then I woke. My head hurts. I rubbed my eyes before slowly opening them.

I was sitting on the floor, my blankets gathering at my waist but I now knew I needed glasses as my eyesight was all blurry. I yawned before stretching up and I grabbed my glasses off my table. I strutted in my room looking for a clean shirt and that’s when I chanced upon my reflection from my mirror. I was wearing a dream catcher, and just like that the memory of my dream came rushing to me.

It’s true it got rid of my nightmares, but it provided me with a strange dream. A dream that seemed so real, albeit confusing. One thing was sure though, for a moment the dream was a distraction, it made me forget about the present, about my reality.

Maybe I’ll wear it again tonight.

I checked my mail; they were all from my family and friends, they were letters I am in no me mood to read. I grabbed my morning copy of the Daily Prophet and at the headline was ;‘Minister of Magic Visits The Rodd Family’.

The article had begun with the words; “Yesterday afternoon the Minister of Magic visited the neighborhood of our late young hero Dylan Rodd. It is said that the Minister was spotted having tea with Dylan Rodd’s parents. The Minister was seen thanking the Rodd family for Dylan had offered his life to save the Minister’s son. ..” The article had gone on about saying that the Minister of Magic might have offered a big office for Dylan’s father in the ministry, and other forms of payments the Minister seemed to be offering the Rodd family to thank them for his son’s life.

I tossed the article at a trash can. I hated this.

I don’t know if the article is true but I wonder if Dylan was forced to give up his life for me since I was the Minister of Magic’s only son.

I went to bed that night, an empty bottle of firewhiskey beside me, and wearing the dream catcher.

XXX

I woke up in the meadow again.

This I established when I opened my eyes. But now I’m on top the hill, and I can see the branches of the apple tree above me. I tried to sit up and when I did I noticed that someone was beside me. It was that girl again, but this time she was smiling at me, and was holding an apple.

“Good, you’re awake.” She told me as I finally sat up. She offered me the apple, and I reluctantly received it.

“It’s you again. What’s happening?” I asked her as I was confused once more.

“I know you’d asked again. So I prepared answers. But before I try and answer your question, I think we got on the wrong foot the other night. I’m Hermione Granger…” She told me as she stuck out her hand at me once more and I took it.

“Harry James Potter.” I told her.

“Interesting, do you always refer to yourself as Harry James?” She asked me and I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion. She seemed to have caught herself and rapidly turned to crimson. I have to say, I found that funny.

“I’m sorry. I’m naturally inquisitive. So, before I begin explaining the situation to you, I have to tell you in no way am I certain about my explanation as this field is not of my expertise, but I took an absence from my classes yesterday and from the moment I have risen I have done research. My explanation seems to make sense to me though. I took into consideration the dream world, the dream catchers and the fact that you said there seems to be two of you.” She told me and I merely nodded my head in understanding and hoped that she will indeed be able to clear my confusion.

“Right, so I did promise you I will answer your questions but first, can you answer mine? Do you remember going to sleep and wearing the dream catcher?” Hermione asked me and when I recalled my last moments before sleep I nodded my head.

“That’s good. You see, before I fell asleep I wore my dream catcher too. I told myself that if I was going to see you again then it would mean my research is correct, if not then you’re just a weird dream, but seeing you here now, well, now I know what direction to take. Go on; throw me your first question…”

“Where are we?”

“I believe we are in the dream world. Based on my research, this place is the in between of portals, different dimensions and realities. Basically, when a person sleeps his soul can travel in the dream land; and here is the place where the doors to these different dimensions and realities are opened. Have you ever had dreams in which you met people you haven’t met before? Or had conversations with your friends and probably just had a dream where you travelled to a different unknown land? Well, that’s sort of our situation right now.” She told me and I was still confused.

“Why do you know who I am?” I asked her and she smiled at me briefly as if recalling a moment.

“I know you because you are Harry Potter, my best friend. Although, you’re a Harry Potter from another world, reality or dimension.”

“What? World? Reality? Dimension?”

“Honestly Harry! When you said yesterday that there must be two of you I researched it. It turns out there is no two Harry Potters there’s just a different version of you. In every world, reality, or dimension there is an equivalent you. For example, in my world or reality, Harry Potter has a scar, while you don’t. In my reality you’re my best friend, and in yours I’m not. Hence, the reason why we have different versions of Luna. None of us is wrong, you know. It’s just that we’ve met the different versions of us in the dream world through the help of our dream catchers.”

“Okay, how come I don’t know you?” Some part of me seemed to understand her, although I’m pretty sure I’m still in that stage of denial where I’m sceptical and don’t believe a thing.

“In your reality probably we haven’t met yet, or I’m dead.” As she said this I took a bite out of my apple while looking at her and she just smiled in return.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I was confused, I thought it was real you know, this world, you have to admit doesn’t look like our usual dreams. Everything seems so real, probably it’s because we have our dream catchers guiding us.”

“It’s okay. I understand. If I saw Ron in this world and he’ll say he doesn’t know me, we might end up killing each other in the grass.” I told her jokingly which she seems to have caught as she let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah, you two would. What with the two of you having the shortest tempers. You always fight, but then you’d make up.” She told me as if reminiscing a fond memory and I grinned at her. Somehow, I feel as though I’m close to her for the way she describes and talks about Ron and I, it seemed genuinely real.

“Tell me more about this other Harry. How’s he different from me? How did we become friends?”

“Oh, well… only you can tell what the real difference between you two is. As you’ve already know he has a scar and you don’t. His scar is quite the catalyst in his life you know. When he was young he was marked by an evil wizard as his equal. Harry lost his parents on Halloween when he was one. He has been fighting all kinds of evil since he was eleven. He’s kind of a hero. He’s got lots of titles like he’s known as the boy-who-lived since he’s the only one that survived a killing curse, might I add, twice. He’s the wizarding world’s savior.”

“Wow, there’s a major difference. I don’t recall ever having an encounter with a killing curse.” Hermione laughed lightly at that.

“And I wish you’ll never have to.”

“You haven’t mentioned about how you and I became friends.” She smiled once more. I just realized how beautiful her smile was and I was utterly mesmerized.

“Well you did save me from a mountain troll at age eleven. I was a fan girl for you. Eventually, it seemed you and Ron had gotten used to my annoying presence. You can’t imagine how pleased I was when the three of us finally became friends.”

“Survived the killing curse twice and saved a girl from a mountain troll at age eleven. Merlin, I sound like the coolest kid in your world. I don’t suppose he’s Gryffindor’s star seeker is he?”

“Actually he is! He’s a pretty good flier you know. He’s been on the team since first year, youngest seeker of the century, some might call him.”

“Bollocks! I was seeker on my second year. I’m such a loser compared to him. He must be the coolest version of me.” Hermione laughed at me and I grinned as well, this was actually sort of fun.

“No, not really. He’s not perfect; trust me there were a lot of downsides of being the Harry Potter. How about you, who are you?”

Hermione had asked me, and I had told her about my life. I told her there was no Voldemort in my world. My parents we’re still alive. My mum was St. Mungo’s Head Healer and my dad just got elected as the Minister of Magic two years ago. I also told her that I was currently an Auror, and that I was reconsidering my options. Although, I didn’t tell her about my problem.

Hermione was currently studying Magical Laws at a Magical University, while both Harry and Ron were already Aurors. She said she wasn’t done schooling yet since she had come back to Hogwarts to finish her seventh year. When I asked her why she wasn’t able to finish her seventh year before her answer was reserved; she just told me that both Ron and she accompanied Harry to a quest that would help destroy Voldemort and it had taken them a whole school year.

During that day we just talked about each other and learned the differences between our two worlds. I felt drowsiness slowly settle inside me. I was aware that one thought has been ringing in my head.

“Probably you haven’t met me or I’m dead…”

XXX

I sighed and woke up actually feeling better.

It’s been a week since I’ve been using the dream catcher and I was actually getting a good night's sleep. I no longer drank firewhiskey since I discovered I no longer needed it to fall asleep. Also I figured that I hated the hangover I had to deal with when I woke. Plus, I was running low on ingredients for a hang-over potion and I didn’t really fancy a stroll into Diagon Alley.

I still have a bunch of mail on my coffee table that I still haven’t read. I’ve taken into habit to burn my Daily Prophet so I don’t have any reminders left. Slowly I told myself if I forget then I might just move on.

I’m always tempted to sleep. But Hermione still has school, she still has a life to live and I didn’t want to disrupt her routine just because of me. So I tried to stay busy.

I’ve cleaned the house over and over again without using any magic. I rearranged my closet a dozen times. Polished my brooms. I read a book too. All in all, my day has been normal.

That was until I heard a knocking at my door…

“Hello mate!” I saw Ron at my front door along with Seamus, Dean and Neville, and before I could stop myself, my face broke into a grin.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked them and Seamus raised both his arms to show me the two plastic bags he was holding. I can tell those bags housed a decent amount of firewhiskey bottles.

“We figured if you’re going to get drunk mate, we might as well join you.” Seamus told me and gave me a wink.

“We’ve bought food as well. Just some chips and candies.” Neville told me.

“Oh, and I brought some Muggle music too.” Dean announced. At that moment I was just overwhelmed and shock to see them all there.

“If you don’t mind mate, can we come in?” Ron asked. I nodded and let them go inside.

“Wow! I thought this place would be trashed.” Seamus exclaimed as they stepped inside my den. The guys all nodded in agreement.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” I told them as I too looked around my spotless flat. They should have seen this place three days ago. It looked like your local garbage dump.

“Blimey mate, are you still sober?” Neville asked me and I just laughed at them. Truly, they must have still pictured me as a drunk. Maybe I still would be if I didn’t have the dream catcher.

“Ran out of supplies, didn’t really fancy going out in public.” I told them jokingly, and they just laughed along with me.

“So should we throw these firewhiskeys, or are we still going to drink?” Ron asked me.

“It’d be a shame to let it go to waste…” I told them and my friends all clapped their hands.

“Well said mate.” They had said.

We placed the drinks and food in the living room and my friends told me about their lives. Neville told me he’d finally be the new professor of Herbology at Hogwarts since professor Sprout would be retiring by next year. Ron has taken a break from his Quidditch practices. Seamus and Dean were planning to open their own pub at Diagon Alley and showcase Dean’s paintings.

I was actually having a good time, especially with me hearing about them talking about their lives and future plans. For a while it seemed that I finally had my life back…

“So Harry, why don’t we go out tomorrow, reconnect with old friends? You seem well now.” Seamus had told me, and just like that it’s as if an arrow was let loose and struck the glass which was my illusion, and leaving shattered pieces of glass on the ground.

I seem well now? Reconnect with old friends?

Those words, they don’t seem right, they don’t seem fair.

It’s as if nostalgia has crept up on me and my own memory took me for a slow ride down memory lane, but before the scene could slowly play out, that scene that’ll let me remember about Dylan, I quickly killed it, and pulled myself out of its intoxicating presence.

I was not well, not really.

Why should I reconnect with my old friends when I recently lost one, and Dylan…he won’t be there.

“I can’t, you guys can go without me. I won’t mind.” I told them, whilst giving them a forced smile. I suspect it was more like a grimace. They looked at me in disbelief as if offended.

“Harry mate! You can’t keep sulking here.” Ron told me.

“Yeah, we can go and have some fun; it’s our guy’s night out tomorrow. You know, we have it at least once a month.” Neville told me excitedly and he was right, it’s that time of the month again when my old friends and I gather in a pub and get wasted. But I…

“We can meet new girls…” Dean joined in…

“Maybe you’d even get laid! Come on Harry we’re young. Live a little!” Seamus yelled, and I know I shouldn’t have snapped. I know I might have overreacted. But I wasn’t well, my head wasn’t right and it was all just too much.

“You shut up!” I yelled at them and they just looked at me in utter confusion. But I couldn’t stop myself, I continued on with my rant…

“You guys don’t understand. What you expect me to have a stroll around Diagon alley, have a drink, fuck some girl and then go home? What, you think I should feel good and celebrate that I’m young and alive? Do you honestly expect me to forget that my life is stolen? It wasn’t supposed to be me who is alive. It was supposed to be Dylan, this, every breath I take is his. I’m not proud of that. I can’t have fun knowing he never got to…” They all looked at each other, silently asking themselves what they should do. They looked chastised, but more than that, they looked at me with pitying glances. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Guilt was eating me up.

Guilt at being alive since Dylan gave up his. Guilt that I hurt my friends. I feel miserable and I no longer wish for them to see me this way. I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to ask for absolution; atonement. I needed to be free but right now, I feel like breaking down.

“I think you guys should leave…” I told them and slowly they stood up, nodding their heads in understanding. It shouldn’t be like this, they shouldn’t act this way around me. They should be punching me in the head for being a git towards them. But they’re not.

“Sorry mate…” A chorus of those words echoed as they packed up before leaving; only Ron remained.

“I reckon Dylan wouldn’t have wanted his life to be led this way…” Ron told me before exiting as well. I can hear the door closing and the sound of my friends apparating away. Only I noticed that silence is more deafening and Ron’s last words still echoed inside my head.

‘Dylan wouldn’t have wanted his life to be led this way…’

XXX

Hermione likes to talk about me.

This I’ve noticed. I only asked her what her favorite memory with me was and she had given me a whole autobiography. It’s been weird, referring to myself in third person but he wasn’t really me, not really, but still in a sense he was me and I was him.

Hermione talks a lot, but she seemed so happy. I noticed her brown eyes would light up and her gesticulations were so animated that she might as well be dancing. Her thick, long, and brown curls were flying in the cool breeze and she just looked so beautiful that I’m tempted to hold her hand as we walked in the meadows.

We were strolling for what seemed like hours but I don’t feel tired. It was beautiful here in this place, sometimes I wondered if we could just stay here. Maybe grow old together.

“Hermione,” I begun and she stopped all of the sudden and looked at me, her attention solely given. I wondered if she’s like this to him too. If she gives her undivided attention so naturally, as if second nature. I wonder if he feels important when he’s with her like I do.

“You said, you and I are best friends…”

“Yes?”

“Well I was wondering, the two of us, is there an us? I mean, you just seemed like someone I would…I mean, forget it.” I told her while getting quite flustered. It just seemed surreal. I didn’t know her enough but somehow I did too. She seemed to care about me a lot. She knows so much about me. She’s definitely pretty in her own way, albeit hers is the beauty that someone gets used to, the kind of beauty that the longer you paid attention, the more you see. I wonder if in another life, if she was mine…

“Oh, you’re asking me if we got together?” She clarified and I nodded my head in agreement. She gave me this fond smile before shaking her head.

“No, I’m afraid not. Never was, probably never will. Besides, your girlfriend is Ginny. You’re even planning to propose to her soon.” She told me.

And I was surprised. Ginny and I? In my reality Ginny’s like my sister. I’ve known her since I’ve known Ron, and I practically grew up with Ron. He’s the kind of friend that I’ve known since I was in my nappies. Ginny, Ron and I have had sleepovers since we were three and we even had bath time when we were younger. Ginny’s just a year younger than Ron and so I know she’s definitely more of a sibling to me. I reckon she feels the same way since she just treats me the way she treats Ron and her brothers.

“Ginny and I? But she’s like my sister.” I told her and Hermione just laughed.

“I guess that’s because in my reality, I’m the one who’s like a sister to you.” She told me and I was really surprised. I wonder if that was true. Ginny was a pretty girl but physically, she looked like my mum, I doubt she looked any different in Hermione’s reality.

“What a shame, I think you would have been a great girlfriend.” I told her honestly and Hermione blushed and suddenly seemed very self-conscious.

“Oh, Harry, don’t say those things. But to be fair, I must admit there was a time that I sort of fancied you.” She confessed and I was curious. She had fancied me, but what had changed, did the other me noticed at all?

“Oh, you did? I’m not surprised you talk about me as if you’ve placed me on a pedestal. Sure you don’t fancy me anymore?” I grinned at her cheekily and she swatted my elbows reproachfully.

“Oh hahaha, you egocentric pig.” She told me grinning as well.

“So you said used to, what happened, did you ever tell me?”

“I guess in a way I moved on. You see, ever since I met you all I felt towards you was admiration. And when you saved me from the troll it became devotion and loyalty. I wanted to be able to help you; I wanted to be your friend. It’s as if all I did, all my studying, it was all for you, you were my inspiration. The more time I spent with you the more I liked you and I think I slowly fell for you. I had this big crush on you since first to fourth year, but you never noticed. On fifth year I tried to fight it, and tell myself that you’d never see me in that way, besides you really liked Cho. And well, Ron was sort of hinting that he liked me. On fifth year something happened…” Hermione paused it’s as if she seemed reluctant to tell me what it was that was bothering her. As if it was a secret she wasn’t sure she should divulge to me.

I grasped her hand. At first she seemed shocked, but then she looked at me, and maybe she remembered that although the Harry she knows and I are different, she can trust me just the same.

“What happened?”

“You know I have another scar.” Hermione told me instead and I wondered if she was trying to change the subject, but then she slowly raised our intertwined hands and placed it just above her chest. I can feel her faint heartbeat against the thin and delicate fabric.

“Here is my other scar. Both of my scars I got because of you, but I don’t regret any of them. It’s just that my first scar, this…” Hermione told me still gesturing at the place above her chest.

“…this one made me realized I’ve grown too dependent on you. I can’t have you always dictating my actions, I can’t have always you on my mind or I’ll lose sight of myself. Do you understand? I was in puberty then; everything seemed confusing. But after that I realized I’ll never be able to get rid of you, you’ll always be a part of my life, a part of me, and I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to let go of you too…” She told me with such sincerity and devotion that I can almost feel her words were intended for me. I doubt she was acting, this was true and genuine, and I’ve never met anyone like her. I wonder that if I did will I ever just consider her as just a sister. And then I realized…

“You never told me, did you?” She let both our hands fall and she looked at her toes once more and bit her lips.

“No, I didn’t. You had so much on your plate to just worry about my feelings…you always needed me in some way, and all I wanted was to help you. All I wanted was for you to be happy and that was enough.” She told me sadly, and I wondered if in some way there was any truth to the words she had uttered previously. Has she truly moved on or did she only tricked herself into believing so. Or worse, maybe she’s grown numb to the pain that she no longer recognizes it as her own?

I wrapped her in my arms and I felt relieved when she returned the hug.

“Are you happy?” I asked her and I can feel her craning her head to look at me. She flashed me a smile…

“I am. I’ve moved on. I’m no longer a teenager Harry. Ron makes me happy.” She told me and I’m surprised. So it’s Ron that noticed her. I wonder if I ever did. Did I, but like her, was I just too scared, or am I really that naïve to have taken her for granted? Or maybe I took so long that she had finally moved on. I finally released her from my hug and I just looked at her once more. Her brown eyes were still beautiful like always. Her features still unchanged but somehow she seemed to be prettier each time I saw her. I wonder if the other Harry thinks the same way too.

“You know, I can always read Harry like a book. So I can tell something’s troubling you.” Hermione told me and I’m surprised for I made sure she doesn’t see my truth.

“How can you tell?”

“Harry is the master of closing off from people. He always has his masks. I had to learn to watch out for those signs so I can understand him when everyone can’t. You and Harry, you both wear the same mask when you’re deep in thought.” She told me, normally I don’t like talking about my feelings but with her I feel as if I could.

“Do I? I mean, has Harry ever felt like it’s a sin to be alive? Like every breath he takes is stolen. The shadow of guilt, does it follow him too?”

“Oh, Harry…” Hermione told me as she raised her hand to brush the hair from my forehead.

“Ever since he’s known what his scar meant, that’s all he has felt.” She told me.

“And did it destroy him?”

“Yes it did. But sometimes, to build something one must destroy first.”

“Is there any way to escape this guilt? Is there a way to forget?” I asked her once more, growing desperate, sometimes I think to myself that her Harry and I were different but in moments like this I wonder if we ever truly are. If he survived this then I might just too.

“Oh, Harry. To move on you mustn’t forget. Acceptance is the answer.” She told me, and as I stared down at her at that moment, all I can think of was that she was so beautiful. Her words, her understanding, she made me feel better. I don’t understand my life, I don’t understand this. My relationship with her, it made no sense. I feel like the times I spent with her were borrowed but other times I feel as though, it’s mine, that it’s ours. Maybe I’ve fooled myself, maybe I’ve lost sight with what was real and what was just a dream, but somehow I knew…

I’ve started falling for the girl in my dreams.

I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. I can hear her gasp for air, and the surprise in her muffled voice. At first there was resistance, I can feel her heartbeat pounding frantically. I can hear a voice in the recesses of my mind telling me that this was wrong, that she’s not mine…

But this is our world, and here we make our own rules.

To move on you don’t forget; you accept…

XXX

I woke up from my dream again. And the first thing I remember was kissing her. I can’t recall if she kissed back. I raised a finger to my lips and I wondered if I brought her taste back with me. It felt so real, but it isn’t…

I sighed, there were more mail on my coffee table, all of them unopened.

I heard Hedwig tapping at my window again. I opened it and let her in. I sorted through the mail once more and tossed the Daily Prophet to the low fire of my fireplace that I enchanted to keep on burning. I received a Howler from my mother. I decided to just open it and probably cast a muffiliato at it. I imagine the sight would be comical if I was being yelled at by a voiceless enchanted mail. I removed its bonds.

“Harry James Potter! If you don’t move your bloody arse out of that flat of yours I would burn down your house. And why the hell have you placed anti-apparation wards in there? Not to mention you’ve closed off your floo connection from us and all your friends. Might I add you’ve been very rude to a lot of us. We’ve sent you letters all this time and not once have you answered back. I am very disappointed in you young man. Now we’ve all given you time to grieve, and you might think you don’t need us right now since we cannot help you, but Harry you’re my son! You need us, even if you don’t think you do. Harry James, you can’t waste away your life, please stop being a selfish git! Your dad misses you a lot, your friends are worried and Ron just sent V.I.P tickets to his Quidditch Match. If in a week you don’t show yourself I would personally drag your arse out of that house…Do you understand me?” The Howler told me before destroying itself.

I don’t think I was even listening; not really, all I took notice of was the fact that my mother swore…

XXX

I’m under that tree again and Hermione is a meter away from me. She’s still sleeping. I always get here before she does. In this world she’s awake when she’s fallen asleep. Right now she was still sleeping. I wonder if she’ll come at all today, maybe yesterday I’ve crossed a line…

I can see her stirring, she’s about to wake up. She stretches out and then her brown eyes finds me and just like that she takes my breath away…

“Hi…” I told her.

“Hello.” She answers back, she sat up and brought her knees up to her chin and hugged them to her heart.

“Yesterday…” We both begun at once and we stared at each other before laughing awkwardly, I decided I’d let her speak first, which she showed no signs of objecting to.

“Yesterday, it made me realize why I’m here. I always thought I was here to help you. From the start something has told me that something was wrong with you for why else would you prefer this world from yours. Why would you seek to escape with your dream catcher? I stayed since that’s what I’m good at; I always stay to help you.” She told me not really looking at me instead her gaze was cast somewhere far, somewhere not here.

“But then when you kissed me, I realized I was searching for an escape too. I wanted to escape from you, but my liberator, it’s still you…” She told me this time as she was looking at me. I can sense she wasn’t done yet, I wanted her to continue. I wanted to understand her.

“All this time, I thought I moved on from you. I didn’t realize there was still some part of me holding out that maybe someday I’d get a chance with you. But recently you’ve talked about marrying Ginny, you talked about wanting a family with her. I thought I was happy that you were. You were both my friends and you made each other happy, why wouldn’t I want that? And Ron, he loves me and I love him. But somehow at the back of my mind I’ve always loved you too, if not more. I realized this earlier today, you asked me to meet up with you. It felt weird knowing that just a few hours ago I kissed you. I felt giddy, like he just asked me to go on a date with him, when in truth he just asked me to lunch…” She paused and I can see tears forming in her eyes…

“We were there, just the two of us at my favorite muggle Italian restaurant. For a while I let myself pretend that we were on a date. Then you asked me, you asked me if I could accompany you to choose Ginny’s ring…” By this time Hermione had completely broken down and she just looked so miserable, hopeless and crestfallen. I grabbed her and cradled her in a hug. I just wanted to hold her tight. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to take away the pain. I wondered if my presence brought any comfort to her at all since I am the reason for her grief…

“It hurt Harry, it hurts so much. It hurt more than the cruciatus curse I took for you.” When she said the thing about the cruciatus curse I wondered if that was true. How strong was this person I was holding in my arms if she survived the cruciatus curse? She had so many battle scars; all of those she endured because of me. I wondered if I deserved her at all. I knew she was in a war but did I truly understand the part she played? What did I know really, I don’t know her well, not all, but somehow I did too.

I can feel her tightening her embrace, she was still crying, the pain still making her squirm, break, quiver and ache.

“I don’t know how to make you stop hurting. If I could trade places with him, know that I’d choose you.” I told her as I ran my fingers through her hair. She stirred and looked up at me…

“Harry, please stop. Don’t say sweet things to my ears, I can’t take them. The more you say them, the more I hope, and I can’t hope…” She told me, her brown eyes all blotchy and red. She was shaking and she was begging me, I could not say no to her. I nodded my head. For a while she was in my arms and I was just content with holding her. I can feel her tears soaking into my skin. But I didn’t mind, I hope I can take some of her pain too.

I don’t know how long the two of us just sat there and holding each other, but somehow she managed to stop crying. I can feel her pulling away from me and I just wanted to keep her in my arms but I had to let her go…

“So…” Hermione begun in a calm voice, she no longer had tears in her eyes but her features were still strained and her eyes, cheeks and lips were still red.

“I told you what I’m running away from, how about you? What’s your reality?” She asked me and this time it is I who is looking away. I’m here because I wanted to forget, I wanted an escape from it. If I had known I’d have to deal with it here then I might as well have welcomed my nightmares.

But if I told her what I was really thinking, I think it’ll be unfair to her. She barred her soul to me; it’s time I returned the favor. I braced myself; this wasn’t going to be easy.

“When I was in Hogwarts I had a school mate his name was Dylan Rodd. Do you know him?” I asked her and she shook her head and told me she’s never encountered the name before.

“Dylan was in my year, he was in Hupplepuff. I never really got to know him, he wasn’t popular, he was one of those kids that didn’t stand out, but still he wasn’t so small either that people were picking on him. We just didn’t run in the same circles. He had friends, he was normal. I didn’t actually get to know him until we found ourselves in the Auror program. He was such a fan of my dad. He really wanted to be an Auror you know; he had the passion for it. Wanted to become a famous hero, I guess we all did.” I told her smiling at the memory and she just held my hand as if sensing the worst was yet to come.

“Anyway, Dylan was a good bloke and he had good intentions. He had the passion but he wasn’t really skilful. He always seemed to be hanging by the thread each time we had trainings. I was always grouped with him. I can see he was trying really hard so I decided I’d stay and train with him. I taught him what I knew and learned from my father. For some time, I always thought he was my responsibility as I was always with him; he was my friend. But slowly Dylan had caught up with us, and he was faring well. We graduated together. During our missions he was always on my team. I always had his back; I always saved his arse when he was in trouble. It was always that way; I always looked out for him.”

“Almost a month ago we received information that stolen wands and illegal potions were being brewed at a factory near Russia. We were to apprehend the factory’s operators and its mastermind, and also confiscate then destroy the illegal potions. My team was one of the chosen teams for that mission. When we got there it was messy, they were anticipating us. We thought we were the ones planning the surprise attack, it turns out they received information that we’re going to raid them. Luckily, we had the numbers and we were skilful too, but the battle was messy. I tried to watch Dylan’s back as usual and I did manage to save him a couple of times. I also tried to save other people’s lives. I did the best I could, but I guess I was too concerned in defeating our enemies and looking out for my comrades’ backs that I didn’t realize that a collapsing ceiling was right above my head. I only took noticed of it when Dylan screamed out my name and before I knew it he pushed me out of the way and he was under those boulders of cement. For a moment I was stunned…I…” Tears have begun to stream down my eyes as I recalled the events.

“He was struggling to stay alive. I rushed towards him; I couldn’t even hear the battle that was still being fought. I knelt beside Dylan and used my wand to get the rocks off of him. There was blood all over him, he was spitting out blood.” I was no longer coherent I cannot even speak my own thoughts as clearly as I wanted her to understand. I was just too overwhelmed by emotions. I can feel myself drowning in guilt.

“The last words I remember him saying was that we were even. I tried to heal him I wanted to stop his bleeding but it was too late, his heart had given up. Then I heard cheering everywhere, we had won the battle, only I was crying. We lost seven Aurors that day and Dylan was one of them. Everyone told me it was okay, that Dylan wanted to save my life. No one was angry at me, they all said they understand, and I wonder, should they?” I looked at Hermione once more her features already foggy because of the tears that I can’t seem to stop from flowing down. She raised a hand to wipe some of my tears away.

“Why would they try and comfort me? Isn’t it wrong Hermione? It’s not normal, they should blame me; be angry with me since because of my recklessness Dylan died. But no, they didn’t. No one blames me or hates me. Why is that? I hate me. I hate myself for being alive. Dylan had plans you know. He promised me after that mission he’d finally ask Zainab out. He didn’t get to do that. Why would everyone tell me it's okay that he’s dead because I got to live? Why am I more important than he is? Is my life worth more than his? Is it because I was a better Auror than he is? Is it because I’m the son of the bloody Minister of Magic? Is my life truly worth more than his? That’s what makes this so unfair.” I vented on Hermione, but she didn’t try to give me consoling words or told me nonsense like saying to my face that it wasn’t my fault. Instead, she just enclosed me in a hug.

“Oh, Harry…You know sometimes I tell myself that you and my Harry are different, but the two of you are not, not truly. You still have the same insecurities, the same fears, and that’s why I know you’d get through this too.” She told me as she held me in place; I can feel her warmth and the comfort she’s giving me. I let myself hug her back again, and I note that this moment is stolen too.

“You’ve done this before haven’t you?” I asked her and I know that to anyone’s ears my statement might seem vague but I knew she understood.

“I’ve had lots of practice. I got it wrong so many times but I finally got it right. All it took was perseverance.” She told grinning and I chuckled lightly at that too.

“Do I always do this? Cry in front of you.”

“Not really, just sometimes. Most of the time you don’t let us see, but you were never good at hiding things from me.” Hermione told me and I saw a strand of her brown curl flying in the wind, all I wanted to do was to tuck it behind her ear. But as I held her cheek and saw her face peering at me with so much concern, tender care and dare I say love? I could not help myself; I leaned in and kissed her. This time she kissed me back.

We both know this was wrong, that this isn’t real, but I guess that’s what makes this feel so right.

XXX

The last week has been the best week of my life so far. It was one whole week where I had all the pleasant dreams in the world. My sanctuary was in my dreams. And she has been my home. Maybe it would be unfair for me to say this, but she had provided me an escape, a reprieve from this world. Maybe that’s why I felt so attached to her because we both have this.

Each night I can’t wait to fall asleep because I know I’d get to see her again.

XXX

“Hey,” Hermione had just woken up and I smiled at her before removing my hand from her hair. I had absent-mindedly stroked her curls while she was sleeping.

“Hey, how was your day?” I asked her and she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was staring out at the meadows again as if basking in the daylight and letting the wind brush passed through her hair. She was calm and quiet and somehow I knew she was avoiding looking at me.

“Today, we bought Ginny’s ring and it was so beautiful…” Hermione said absent-mindedly and for some reason I felt constricted, I knew it was the pangs of jealousy that was tormenting me so.

In this land; this land is ours. In this place she is mine. But despite the fact that here she allows me to kiss her and she kisses me back as well, in the corner of my mind I knew I’m just a replacement for something she can never have. I know I might be unfair towards her, but sometimes I hate that whenever she’s with me she sees someone else. Maybe I’m selfish, because I know, that even here, even if we share kisses and bare ourselves in front of the other; the truth is that I’m a painful reminder to her.

“What makes it so beautiful?” I don’t know why I asked her that, at first I just wanted to make a sarcastic comment to get her mind off of it, but somehow I think I managed to choose the wrong words.

“When we went to the jewellers Harry was browsing at the traditional white diamond rings cast in white gold. At first I didn’t even want to look at the glass cases, it made me feel horrible. But then I reminded myself that Harry needed me here, I’m the only one he can trust to help him pick out Ginny’s ring. I looked around, there were so many glittering jewels there, all kinds of gems in different shapes and sizes. But what really caught my attention was the emerald collection. There, in a black velvet opened box was an emerald engagement ring. It was simple, it was the shape of a circle with tiny stud diamonds encircling it; it was casted against a golden band. When I saw it I told myself, emerald reminded me of Harry, the ring reminded me of his eyes.”

“He called my name then, asking me to check out the rings the jeweller was presenting him. I told Harry I found his ring. I wasn’t even thinking then, I just said it. He approached me and asked me what ring was it, and I merely pointed it at him. He asked me why I have chosen that emerald ring. The truth was that it just reminded me of him, instead I went into lecture mode. I told him things like the circle symbolizes infinity; it has no beginning and no end that might represent their love. That the gold was traditional. But I also told him…”

“That if he was kneeling in front of a girl with a ring inside a velvet box, that was the best ring for him. I told him that if I was Ginny and I saw that ring I would say yes. Because the emerald looked so much like his eyes. And if I look at it, each time I would see the ring I would be reminded of him. I would remember how much I love Harry and that I’d want to love him forever too. I don’t think he knew how close to home those words were to me…” Hermione told me and by this time I expected to see tears in her eyes, I expected her to cry. But she didn’t, she probably had no more tears left to shed.

“He bought it didn’t he?” I asked her and this time she looked at me.

“He did, and she’s going to say yes. He asked me if he could practice proposing with me. He reckons Ron wouldn’t be a cooperative partner…”

“Hermione you didn’t, did you?”

“I wanted to say no…”

“But you said yes, why do you let yourself get hurt like this?”

“I don’t know, I guess I want to hurt myself more. Maybe if the pain becomes too real I’d wake up and be numb once more. Until he proposes to her, I still dream and hope he’ll love me. I need to face the truth that it’s never going to happen. I need to feel the pain so I’ll know that this is real and I can’t do anything about it. I need to move on, that’s why I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore…”

“Did I do something wrong? Hermione…”

“No, you do everything right, and that’s the problem. Every time I’m with you, you make me forget. Each time I kiss you I pretend that this is real, but we both know it’s not. I’m being unfaithful to Ron, and I’m not being fair to you either…” She told me sincerely and I can feel that it’s hurting her to say these things. The truth hurts, it always does. But I pretend I don’t understand her, that I don’t know. Except, I did know…

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, Harry…” Hermione said as she neared me and slowly caressed my cheeks, her hands lingering and brushing that particular spot on my forehead again…

“I know you know. When I see you here in our secret world I feel happy. You make me feel love. But I know you can feel that it’s not really you I see. I love the way you make me feel and I’m grateful, but you’re not the person I fell in love with. You’re not him, no matter how much you two look alike or seem to be. Because you don’t have the scar and that makes a lot of difference, not only on the exterior.”

“Are we two so different?” I had to ask her. It was hurting me to know she was in love with someone else; but that someone else was still me. I love her, I had fallen in love with her, but it isn’t me whom she wanted. She wanted the Harry who didn’t love her.

“I honestly don’t know. Sometimes you two are so different, I suspect it’s because you two have had different lives, when I look at your forehead, I’m reminded of that fact. But when I see your eyes; the very eyes of the one I love, I know you’re not so different. You are still Harry, just not the Harry I know.” She told me once more and I was so confused. It didn’t make any sense, not to me at least, or maybe that’s what I keep telling myself, that I don’t understand when really I did.

“You’re saying goodbye aren’t you? Is that what you want?”

“Want and need are two different things. We can’t keep escaping reality Harry. We have to move on.”

“What if I don’t want to? What if I’m happier here with you?”

“It’s not good to dwell on dreams Harry. Sooner or later this fantasy will destroy us…”

“You’re the only thing that keeps me sane anymore. You’re the only one that makes me for…I mean…” I told her and I’m almost appalled by my almost slip up. I love her, I think I do. She’s the only one I ever felt this way with. I wanted her and I needed her, those are true too…

“I make you forget Harry. Go on admit it, you know that’s the truth.” She told me and I looked at her eyes almost ashamed. She held no condemnation in them just utter understanding. I couldn’t believe myself…

She was right.

She used me as much as I used her. We served as each other’s escape. A fantasy, all of these are dreams, they aren’t real.

She used me to escape the reality that she’ll never be love by the one person she had ever truly wanted. I was her fantasy; her dream.

I used her to escape the guilt that I was feeling. She served as the perfect distraction. I wanted to be happy and free, that was my dream, that was my fantasy, but it was something I felt like I could not do in the real world. Truth was I wanted to be alive and have fun, but I felt like I did not deserved it, like I wasn’t supposed to, that being happy wasn’t in my reality.

We were both using each other, that is the truth. But I also know in my heart that I have strong feelings for her. Maybe if the circumstances were different I’d be certain that I truly do love her.

“You’re right. You helped me forget about what I was dealing with, in a way you saved me from killing myself. But if you leave who will help me recover?” Hermione kissed my cheek then, her lips lingering and then she slowly pulled away.

“People you know, and people you’re yet to meet, they will help you Harry. But the best person that can help you is yourself.” Sometimes words can sound so beautiful, so optimistic that they seem to move mountains or lift you up. But all I could feel was myself drowning…

“What if I’m haunted by nightmares again?”

“Then you face your fears and don’t let them defeat you…” All this time I have turned to her to solve my problems. All this time I had asked her help and she had so willingly provided it. I wondered if she was always this way towards me, had she always put me before her needs?

“What will you do?” She was taken back, I suspect she didn’t expect me to ask her that.

“I’ll try to forget all of this, bury it. I’ll be a better girlfriend to Ron. I have to make it up to him. I will have to be happy for Harry and Ginny.” She told me, and I suspected that if the two of us went back to the real world we were going to fall apart. But I wondered if I was the one who was fragile, if it truly was me who needed her more?

“That’s great Hermione, but to move on you don’t forget…” I told her smirking slightly and she looked at me quite surprised and then she smiled a dejected smile.

“I always hated it when you used my words against me. But I have to Harry; I’ve done it for years. After almost twelve years of friendship I think I have perfected it.”

“You can go back, I suspect you’ll want to, but that’s where you’ll always be. Silently waiting for your turn with me. You have to move on Hermione, you can’t go back, because if you do then nothing would have changed…”

“What do you suggest I should do then?”

“What you should have done in the first place. You need to tell him. You need to tell Harry those feelings you’re hiding.”

“I can’t, I have too much to lose.”

“You’ll lose him more if you don’t.”

“Ron, he’ll be hurt so will Ginny. I know I will confuse Harry, if he doesn’t like me back what then? If he does then it’ll equally be problematic. It’s not easy…”

“The right thing never is. We have to face our fears Hermione and accept the consequences afterwards. If we want to move on then we’ll have to do it. Promise me if we go back you’ll tell me…” I looked at her intently. I willed her to understand that all I wanted was for her to be happy. I want to convince her that the right thing for her to do was to tell me. If I was anything like Harry I knew, somehow, someway and deep down I wanted her as well. I wanted her as much as I needed her. And need and want were two very different things.

But I won’t tell her that, I won’t give her false hope, for all I know I was wrong. But I did know that if she confessed then this chapter of her life would have a closure and she can finally move on, even when it’s with Ron.

“Okay, I promise, but you have to promise me something as well.”

“Alright…what is it?”

“If you go back promise me, you’ll get your life back and not quit as an Auror…” Hermione told me and I started to protest, I had a long list of reasons that I have mentally prepared on why being an Auror didn’t suit me. But before I could, Hermione silenced me…

“He saved you for a reason Harry. Maybe he saved you because he believed you’d be able to save more lives and not just his…” I don’t know if that made any sense to me, and maybe I’ll understand it more when I’m better and not flooded with all these emotions, but I accepted her explanation.

“So this is goodbye?” I asked her, and she nodded.

“It is. But we have to do it right. No more dream catchers.” She told me, and I agreed. The right thing was always hard to do. But we needed this.

“I won’t forget this, I just wanted you to know, that…”

“I know, we both won’t. But we have to accept that this is all just a dream, and no matter how good our dreams are or even if we have nightmares we always wake up, because if we don’t, we die…” Hermione told me and I know she was speaking the truth.

“Can I have a kiss goodbye?” I asked her and she smiled at me before leaning down against me.

“This dream, it’s ours…” She told me. I plucked a daisy that was growing in the patch of grass beside us and fashioned it into a ring, before slipping it to her finger. I kissed the top of her head.

“I can’t ask you to marry me, but can I ask you to be mine until tomorrow?” I told her sincerely and she smiled at me before leaning down to give a small and chaste kiss on the lips; but it was a kiss that held promise for more…

“I’m yours, until tomorrow. Just a pity I can’t keep this token with me…” she told me sadly, and I know she speaks the truth.

Tomorrow there won’t be any reminders, no proof that this was real, because really it’s not. I can’t take her with me and this place doesn’t exist in real life…but at least for now, we get to have this.

At least this, we get to call our own. This feeling was something we could keep.

XXX

I woke up once more and it’s as if I’m disoriented.

I walked downstairs, and my house was still clean except for my coffee table that had a pile of mail. All in all nothing has changed, but I know something has. I was changed.

I strolled inside the kitchen to boil some water. As I waited for the hot water I opened my cupboard to see if I had some firewhiskey left. When I opened them I saw it was empty with a thin layer of dust. I was sober for two weeks now and I didn’t even know it. Maybe I should buy a couple of bottles for safe measure. I heard the water boiling and I proceeded to get a cup and make some coffee. I strolled inside the house and the pile of mail still greeted me.

I realized that Hermione was right. All this time I was thinking that no one understood me and what I was feeling. No one could help me because there was simply no potion that can take away the emotional pain. But maybe if I let all these people in, maybe if I gave my friends and family a chance, they can help me move on. They might not understand or be able to help me, but at least I’ll know that I’ll always have them.

I have begun to scan my mail and proceeded to read the letters that were long overdue, and maybe it’s time I start owling these people back.

XXX

Last night, after I’ve done my task I realized that I had three things to do for today.

The first on my list was for me to visit Dylan’s parents.

I took a deep breath before knocking on the Rodd’s residence. I realized I haven’t really talked them and properly thanked them for their son’s sacrifice.

“Yes?” I see Dylan’s father; he opened the door and from a smile his face turned into shock, it was almost like he saw a ghost. Probably, he just didn’t expect me to make a visit. I studied his features and his face. It’s clear that his once brown hair was slowly greying and thinning out and he now had lines on his face and required a reading glass to see. Mr. Rodd was almost a decade older than my dad, since Dylan’s parents have had him at a later age. But despite these things Mr. Rodd looked a lot like Dylan, I wonder if Dylan would have looked like his father at this age too if he was allowed to grow old.

“Good morning Mr. Rodd, can I come in?” I asked him politely, I tried to remain calm but inside I was shaking. I felt like a murderer entering his victim’s house and meeting his love ones.

“Of course, Mr. Potter.” Dylan’s father ushered me in. I looked around their house it was pristine and it looked descent and normal. It looked like a Muggle house since Dylan was a half blood his mother was a Muggle born witch while his father was the same. There were family photos and pictures of Dylan everywhere. Dylan was an only child, like me. I can see Mrs. Rodd at the corner looking surprised, but she might have snapped out of her trance for she asked me if I wanted tea. I told her I didn’t need anything and that I just wanted to talk with them. The Rodds had brought me to their living room and the three of us were sitting on the sofas with nothing but a coffee table separating us. I looked around; there were more reminders of Dylan here. I gulped and told myself that I should face my fears…

“I’m here because I wanted to apologize for stealing your son’s life.” I told them and they looked at each other before giving me a sad smile.

“Your father came here a few weeks ago, asking for forgiveness as well. We told him the same thing we’re going to tell you now…” Mrs. Rodd had begun.

“It’s not easy, but we forgive you son. We understand that this was Dylan’s choice. I would have wanted to meet you under better circumstances Harry…” Mr. Rodd had told me and I was almost surprised by what he said. When I came here I expected judgment and condemnation but I guess different people have different coping mechanisms.

“Dylan had always talked so highly of you. Each time he goes on a mission I would worry for him, but then he says ‘ Don’t worry mum, Harry’s got my back’, I heard stories of how many times you’ve saved his life. We always wanted to meet and thank you for taking care of him…”

“Mrs. Rodd, I didn’t know…” I told them I wasn’t aware that Dylan had thought that way about me.

“Oh, he idolizes you, you know. Always went on about how he’s ever going to repay you for everything you’ve done for him. Always told him to not be an Auror since I always suspected the job was too tough for him, but it’s his dream, so he says…” Mr. Rodd had told me and for some reason I felt like I should defend Dylan.

“Dylan was a good Auror, and he had the potential to become greater. He was a Hupplepuff, he was loyal. He was loyal to our cause, he was loyal to our friends and I knew that his loyalty was his strength. He made his house proud and he is a hero. Dylan Rodd was born to become an Auror.”

“Dylan wasn’t strong enough to be an Auror.” Dylan’s father told me, but even though it was painful for me to hear it I knew it was more painful for him to say it. It is clear to me that they never wanted this to happen to Dylan but neither did they blame anybody except for their own son.

“Physical strength isn’t the requirement. Your son was strong enough to give up his life for his friends. He is a role model to those who plan to join the service.” This was the truth. In our job, death would always be knocking at our doors, but despite this fear we should remember that we fight so others won’t have to. We die so many won’t.

“Our son would have loved to hear you say that…” Mrs. Rodd told me, tears slowly gathering in her eyes.

“Under better circumstances Dylan would have. But I know Dylan knows that I’ve always known he was a great Auror.”

“Under better circumstances Dylan would have wanted you to be the best man to his wedding…”

That morning we talked more about Dylan. I told him more about their son. I’m surprised that they underestimated the strength, bravery and loyalty of Dylan. In some way I have helped them understand their son more.

They still miss Dylan, that is a pain not easily taken away. They have long accepted his death. But now they have accepted why he chose to become an Auror in the first place.

And I, I finally understood why Dylan spared my life; and he had given me the answer, only I was too deaf to hear it then…

‘We’re even…’

XXX

For the second thing, I needed to go to the ministry of magic.

I went to the Auror Department and opened Dylan’s locker. There was something he promised me he would have done himself if he was given more time. I saw the sealed envelope neatly tucked between his guide books. Since he’s no longer here, I guess I should do it myself. I took the envelope and tucked it inside my jacket before walking out.

I went towards the direction of Shacklebolt’s office. There, just outside of his office was Zainab Greene; Shacklebolt’s secretary.

She was a pretty half Indian girl who was in Hupplepuff with Dylan. Dylan has had a crush on her since seventh year, but he has never approached the pretty lass before. He’s dated other girls but I know it was always Zainab.

One time while we were eating lunch at the cafeteria, I saw him looking at Zainab and her friends. Zainab was just laughing, talking, and just doing something very normal, but I can see in Dylan’s face that he was utterly mesmerized. I even teased him for looking like a love struck teenager and he just told me to bugger off. We had joked some more after that until we made a wager. I forgot what the wager was but Dylan lost. I dared him to finally ask Zainab out.

So one afternoon while we were behind our desk, I prompted Dylan to make his move. He said he always made a fool of himself in front of her so he might not say the right words and blow his chance. I told him to just write it down. And so the bloody genius actually followed my advice. He wrote a love letter instead of filling out paperwork that day. That was also the very same day we were given the mission.

I made Dylan promise that as soon as we get back from our mission he was going to give his letter to Zainab, and he had agreed. I didn’t know he’d never make it back alive, if I had then I might have made him do it sooner.

And now as I approached Zainab’s table it’s as if she wasn’t aware of my presence. She just continued on arranging files. But when I was finally near enough her face lit up when she saw me.

“Auror Potter, it’s good to finally see you!” Zainab greeted me pleasantly and I smiled at her sheepishly.

“Hello Zainab, how’s everyone? It’s been almost a month since I’ve been here.”

“Oh, uhm, we lost a lot of people, and it’s hard but everyone’s doing okay. You’re doing well I suppose?”

“I try to, wouldn’t want to disappoint Dylan…” I told her and I can see the sudden tension in her features but as quickly as it came she had managed to get rid of it too.

“Yes, Dylan was a good friend.” Zainab has told me as she looked down once more and begun shuffling the papers on her desk. I swear those were alphabetically arranged already, but it seems like she was rearranging them all over again.

“Listen, Zainab, there’s something I wanted to give you. Dylan would have wanted you to have it…” I told her and that had gotten her attention as she stopped what she was doing and looked at me intently and patiently. I pulled the letter out of my jacket and gave it to her.

“Dylan would have given you that himself if he had survived. I think you know what that letter is…” I told her and this time tears had gathered in her eyes.

“Oh, Merlin, he did, didn’t he? All this time? Why now, why did he wait so long?” Zainab had asked me and I didn’t really expect her to break down. All this time, Dylan had been afraid that his love was unrequited, he never took the chance.

I felt like crying too, since now I knew that these two people could have shared a great love story, but fate never gave them a chance…This was what makes this so tragic, and I wonder if Zainab and I would still be friends.

I wondered if Dylan knew that Zainab felt the same way too would he have regretted saving my life? This was a kind of guilt that was all new to me.

“I don’t think he knew you felt the same way.” I told her honestly and she carefully opened the letter and begun crying some more. After she read it she looked at me with tears still in her eyes.

“He was going to take me to my favourite Muggle restaurant. If he was here I would have said yes, but he’s not. Is it okay for me to hate you? I know it doesn’t seem fair, but that’s what I feel right now…” Zainab was the first person who has told me she blames me for Dylan’s death. And I can’t really say I blame her. She’s one of the people who would have preferred that it was Dylan who was still alive.

“I’m sorry; I really am, for the both of you.” I told her as I turned her to leave.

“Hey, Harry” I heard her speak once more and I turned to look at her, there were still tears in her eyes and she was clutching the letter to her chest.

“Thanks for giving me this…” She told me and I merely nodded in response. It must be painful for her, much more painful now that she knows they both have lost their chance at love. But maybe now she can move on without wondering if they loved each other, because now they knew the answer.

XXX

I went back to my flat and prepared myself for a nice hot bath. But I checked the clock and it was almost time for Ron’s party.

Ron had scheduled this party almost two months ago when he found out he was playing the Keeper at this year’s Quidditch games. He had scheduled it a week before the match and all of our friends were invited.

I knew I had to make amends with them.

I looked at my clock it was still an hour before seven which means I could take a quick shower before heading to the Leaky Cauldron.

When I arrived at the Leaky Cauldron there were already people there. Some were dancing others were just sitting and talking but everyone has had drinks. Some of my peers were surprised to see me there and I had to make small pleasantries. Until I saw Ron in the corner talking with Dean, Seamus and Neville. They were obviously having a good time. I wondered if they saw me will their moods turn sour? I didn’t have to announce my arrival, Neville saw me approaching.

“It’s Harry…” I heard him say and they all turned to look at me.

I felt like a fish out of water. They were all staring at me, and the planned apology in my head seemed to have flown out of the window. I said the first thing that came into mind.

“Can I join you?” It seemed that it was Ron who first recovered and hugged me.

“Good to have you back mate…” He whispered in my ear and as he released me we were grinning at each other and my friends seemed to have welcomed me back with open arms. For a while I sat with them drinking, talking and laughing that was until I saw Luna with Ginny. I decided to excuse myself from the guys and went to talk to Luna.

“Harry? You’re here.” Ginny exclaimed clearly surprised that I was there joining the living. I can sense she is about to launch at me questions but I wanted to talk to Luna. I guess I’ll have to humour her later.

“Hello Gin, I don’t want to be rude but can I talk to Luna?” I asked her and I can feel that Ginny was about to protest, but she must have thought better of it and decided to leave us alone.

“Hello Harry, you look better, although I think you need a haircut.” Luna told me, and I just smiled at her.

“Luna I wanted to thank you for the dream catcher, it helped a lot.” I told her and Luna smiled at me.

“You’re welcome.”

“But, I was wondering if you could take it back? I’d like to return it to you…” I told Luna and she seemed surprised at my suggestion. At first I wanted to destroy the dream catcher so I won’t be tempted to use it, but it seemed like a valuable artifact and maybe just maybe, someone else can use it in the future.

“Why would you want to return it? I thought it worked well for you.” Luna told me quizzically and I merely smiled at her.

“Someone else might need it now more than me.” I told her simply.

I had fun that night and even though there were parts of that night that I kept thinking of Hermione and Dylan, I didn’t mind it anymore; since I knew the key to move on was not to forget…

It was to accept.

There was just one more thing I needed to do that I forgot to place on my list.

That night I decided to sleep in my parent’s house.

XXX

“Harry!” I heard my mum calling me. I quickly rushed down from the stairs to answer her call. I was preparing to leave since Ron’s game was about to start in an hour and a half and I wanted to be there early.

Mum made me stay with them for a week. It’s punishment she says, for neglecting them all this time. I didn’t really mind for it sort of reminded me of the days when I was younger, but of course, I can’t wait to get back to my flat later this evening.

“Yes mum?” I asked her.

Mum was preparing her things for later this afternoon. She was going to leave for France. She was going to give a lecture there to new healers about a new potion she was developing for victims of the cruciatus curse who were suffering from mental retardation.

“Harry dear, I’m awfully busy sorting my files right now. Could you drop by St. Mungo’s for me? You can ask one of the healers there to get the file I left on my desk the other day. I seemed to have forgotten to bring it here.”

“Sure thing mum…” I told her as I flooed to St. Mungo’s.

XXX

“Good morning Harry…” I heard Mrs. Cole great me. Mrs. Cole has been the Hospital’s manager since I was thirteen and she practically dotes on me like I’m one of her godsons.

“Mrs. Cole, good morning.” I greeted her pleasantly, it’s been a while since I last been here. I think it’s been almost six months now.

“What can we do for you today? Did your mum send you on an errand again?”

“Yeah, she did. There’s a file I need to get from her office…” I told Mrs. Cole but just as I said those words I heard someone’s voice from behind me.

“Mrs. Cole! I received a patronus from Head Healer Potter and she said I get this file and give this to you. She says her son might pick it up…” The feminine voice was so familiar. I was almost afraid to turn and look at her. Just hearing her voice had been magical, and I wondered that if I turned around the magic would be lost.

But I did, I had to look…

“Healer Granger, this is Harry Potter. Lily Potter’s son, you may give him the file now.” I heard Mrs. Cole introduce us but I was tongue tied. I seemed to have forgotten how to speak. She looked so much like Hermione, nothing seemed different except that her hair was pulled back in a slightly messy ponytail and that she was wearing her healer’s robes instead of the white sun dress I always saw her wearing.

She held out her hand to me…

“Hi. I’m Hermione Granger, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” She told me and I absent-mindedly raised my hand to take hers. I noticed even her hand felt the same. It fitted perfectly with mine. But this time I noticed, unlike the Hermione I knew she wasn’t scarred. We both weren’t.

“I’m Harry, Harry James Potter.” I told her and then I realized Mrs. Cole excused herself, but before she left she gave me a wink. She must have noticed the gob smacked expression on my face.

“So here it is, is there anything else?” Hermione told me as she handed me the file and I finally snapped out of my trance. I finally realized that she was truly here now.

“Uhm, no I think that’s all. But I was wondering when did you start working here? How come I’ve only seen you now?” I asked her and she smiled at me slightly.

“I started working here three months ago. I went to one of Healer Potter’s lectures in France once and I decided that I wanted to work with her. I’m a big fan of your mum’s. I was born in England but I was living in France when we moved there when I was ten. ” Hermione explained and I realized that must be the reason why I haven’t met her until now. I wonder if there was anything different about her. If she was so different from the Hermione I knew.

“So I was wondering, since you’re a big fan of my mum maybe you’d like to go out with me?” As those words left my mouth I was utterly positive they sounded so horrendous.

“Oh, are you asking me on a date?” Hermione asked me and I blushed, this time. I don’t even know why I’m acting like a schoolboy again. I thought I’ve long passed this stage.

“No, I mean it’s just two people going out, it can be something friendly.” I told her and I’m still certain I don’t sound as suave as I wanted to be.

“Okay, I get off at seven, maybe we can grab a coffee.” She told me as she slowly turned to leave. Grab a coffee? I don’t think that’s what I wanted to do on my first date with her.

“How about we just grab dinner?” I told her and she stopped in her tracks and gave me a shrug.

“I don’t know, dinner sounds awfully intimate. We are after all just going to talk about your mum.” Hermione told me giving me a playful smirk. And at once I noticed there’s a slight difference, she’s more flirty but still witty.

“Okay fine, would you like to go on a date with me?” I asked her and she just smiled at me. I wish I can wipe that self satisfied smirk off her face.

“I’d love to. See you later…” She told me as she walked away and returned to work. For a while I just watched her go, and then I’m reminded that Ron’s game was about to start in an hour and this file has another place where it needs to be.

I couldn’t wait till tonight, and I wondered if Ron would mind if I don’t join his after party…

XXX

When we met each other we were strangers that needed help…

We were both unwell and somehow, we needed each other to heal…

We were each other’s medicine…

The only catch was that we met each other in dreams…

But that’s alright…

Since medicines are not meant to be taken forever…

Not unless you’re cured.

XXX

AN: I’m very proud of this story, Despite the fact that this has the lowest number of views/hits among all my oneshots. It’ sort of surprising because I love this so much.

This wasn’t easy to write, the long-ness proof of that.

So if you have never read this and liked this, please Review.