If I Don't Tell You Now

Ramychan

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 27/08/2003
Last Updated: 27/08/2003
Status: completed

A one-shot songfic to Ronan Keating's "If I Don't Tell You Now." This is the account of Harry's thoughts the day he told Hermione that he loved her.

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

Disclaimer: This fanfiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Today.

Today's the day. I will finally tell Hermione how I feel about her. Today is the perfect day to tell her.

Well, on second thought, today's no good. Won't work.

Those were my thoughts this morning, yesterday morning, the morning before that…pretty much every morning for about four months now.

I've kept it inside for the longest time

And I can't keep keeping in

All this love that's inside my heart

Maybe it's safer not to say that I care

Maybe this road won't lead me anywhere, but…

Merlin, I'm such a loser.

You would think that after almost seven years of friendship that I'd be able to sit her down and tell her how I feel, but no - I keep on chickening out.

Where's that Gryffindor courage when you need it? Hiding in a bloody broom closet, that's where it is.

I'm so afraid that she won't return my feelings that I can't seem to gather up the courage to lay my heart out on the line. But I can't keep these feelings in any longer. I can't keep fighting the urge to hold her in my arms, to touch her, to kiss her, to tell her…to tell her that I love her.

If I don't tell you now

I may never get the chance again

To tell you that I need you

Tell you what I'm feeling

If I keep these feelings in

And if I don't say the words

How will you hear what's inside my heart?

How will you know that

If I don't tell you now?

Bloody hell - what's wrong with me?

Seriously - why can't I just tell her? She's my best friend; I shouldn't have a problem being open with her. But ever since my feelings for her changed into all things non-platonic, I've been a bloody clam around her.

I stutter like nobody's business, I'm caught staring at her constantly, I trip over nothing and run into things all over the castle - I make a bloody fool out of myself around her. She probably thinks that I've lost my marbles.

Whoa!

I'm going to end up losing my REAL MARBLES soon if I don't watch out.

A bludger just flew across my broom, narrowly missing my crotch. And to make matters worse, Hermione is watching from the stands, along with all the rest of the school.

Well, I've got to get on my game and find that snitch, before that bloody bludger finds me - or my crotch - again.

***

Well, here I am, an hour later, celebrating Gryffindor's winning of the quidditch match in the common room. I caught the snitch - a rather magnificent catch, might I add. Almost lost my MARBLES again, though, when one of the Slytherin beaters aimed the bludger directly at my broomstick.

Bloody Slytherins.

Nevermind that, though - snitch or no snitch, all I can think about is how beautiful Hermione looks tonight…and every night.

She's sitting over on the couch, talking to Ginny and Ron about tonight's victory, while I'm currently being detained by a rather anxious Colin Creevey, whose chattering voice is going in one ear and out the other. Don't get me wrong - I'm nodding and grinning at him in all of the right places, but my attention is centered squarely on Hermione.

It should be made against school rules to look that sexy.

Really, it should. Or at least it should be illegal while one is playing quidditch.

“…Hermione was jumping up and down and bumped my arm, otherwise it would have been the PERFECT photograph of you catching the snitch!” Colin exclaimed excitedly as I tuned into his mad chatter at the mention of Hermione.

“Really, too bad. I'll see you around, Colin. Nice talking with you,” I said animatedly as I waved my hand goodbye. He smiled widely and replied hastily, “`Bye, Harry! I'll get that shot next game!”

I escaped! Excellent! Sorry, Colin, but I'm a man on a mission. I need to talk to Hermione - alone.

Now I just have to shoo Ginny and Ron away and I'll be able to take Hermione outside and talk to her.

Yes!

Hermione just looked up and smiled at me. She motioned for me to come over and sit down next to her. I'm making progress!

“Harry, that was a great game!” exclaimed Hermione as I sat down. She looked me in the eyes as she said this, and I started to get lost in the depths of her chocolatey brown eyes.

Snap out of it! I have to concentrate on what I have to say!

“Thanks,” I replied with a smile, looking over at Ron. I cleared my throat and Ron shifted uneasily on the couch.

Of course, Ron knows how I feel about Hermione. How could he not? I didn't even have to say anything; he figured it out months ago - practically before I figured it out.

So he understood that I wanted some alone time with Hermione when I looked over at him.

“Hey, Ginny, why don't we get some refreshments?” said Ron as he stood up. Ginny looked over at Hermione, then me, then back to Ron, nodding. She said goodbye to Hermione and me and left with Ron.

Excellent! I'll have to remember to thank Ron later. He did a smashing job.

Now, here goes…

“Would you like to take a walk around the lake?” I asked Hermione as I smiled at her.

Smooth…who ever said a guy couldn't think fast on his feet - rather, his arse, in my case?

She smiled back, nodding.

Perfect! Everything's going accordingly, now I just need to gather up the courage to tell her how I feel.

We stood up and walked out of the common room silently.

“It was really rowdy in there!” exclaimed Hermione as we descended the stairs.

“Yeah, it was. I'm glad to get out of there,” I responded, with Colin's chattering voice still ringing in my ears.

“Oh! I wanted to tell you - I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that my parents were here at Hogwarts, and that they were teachers, no less! Isn't that strange?!” exclaimed Hermione as she looked over at me.

“Wow, that IS pretty strange. Maybe they were the new `Magical Dentistry' professors,” I replied laughing. “Isn't that what `M.D.' stands for anyway?”

Hermione giggled and smiled at me as we made our way through the castle doors and out onto the lawn.

Speaking of dreams - I wonder if I'm ever in her dreams? I know that she's in mine, and most of them involve her, me, and a silencing charm.

Hehe. Those were some good dreams….

I'd give anything to be in your dreams

And I can't stand standing by

With this dream that's inside my heart

Maybe I'm only gonna make a mistake

And there's a chance maybe my heart will break, but…

Hey, hey! Enough of that! Back to the task at hand - telling Hermione!

If I don't tell you now

I may never get the chance again

To tell you that I need you

Tell you what I'm feeling

If I keep these feelings in

And if I don't say the words

How will you hear what's inside my heart?

How will you know that

If I don't tell you now?

We just reached the large oak tree by the far side of the lake, and, taking a seat underneath its branches, I looked over at Hermione.

She gazed into my eyes and smiled. I stared back at her, getting lost in her eyes yet again. My face broke into a smile.

How will you know you're inside my soul?

Oh, it's driving me crazy

`Cause you don't see

You're the world to me

I'm so afraid to say the way that I feel, but...

That was all the encouragement I needed. Looking into her eyes and seeing my future unfold before me is sign enough.

I love her, and I need to tell her. Something in the way that she looks at me tells me that she feels the same way I do.

If I don't tell you now

I may never get the chance again

To tell you that I need you

Tell you what I'm feeling

If I keep these feelings in

And if I don't say the words

How will you hear what's inside my heart?

How will you know that

If I don't tell you now?

If I don't tell you now

“Hermione, I need to tell you something,” I said softly, holding our gaze.

She only nodded in reply, still holding her eyes on mine.

A strong breeze blew through the tree branches, causing a strand of Hermione's hair to blow in front of her face. It came to rest in front of her shoulder and her ear. Without a thought to it, I reached up and tucked the strand behind her ear.

“Hermione…you're so beautiful,” I said as my heart started to pound in my chest. I brought my hand down to rest on top of her hand on her lap. Her eyes began to widen as I went on.

“Do you know how much you've changed my life? Until I met you, I never knew true, loyal, undying friendship. Before you, I didn't know what true compassion was. I never knew what it was like to have someone on my side, to have someone who believed in me. You are that someone, Hermione.” I smiled again as I lightly squeezed her hand underneath mine. I noticed that her eyes were beginning to well with tears as I continued.

“But there's something else that you taught me, something that means more to me than anything else. You taught me how to love.” As I said this, a tear cascaded down Hermione's face. I brought my free hand up to wipe her tear away. Our gaze still intact, I went on to finish.

“Hermione, I love you.”

“Oh, Harry!” exclaimed Hermione as tears fell freely from her eyes. She sprang forward, enveloping me into a warm embrace. I closed my eyes as I hugged her back, cherishing the feeling of her body against mine. She pulled back enough to look me in the eyes, and I felt all of my feelings of uncertainty wash away.

“Harry, I love you, too. I've loved you for the longest time,” she said softly as she held our intense gaze.

Our heads came closer together, and our lips met for the first time. Our kiss was so passionate and gentle - it was intoxicating. As we pulled apart, Hermione took my hand in hers.

“I may have taught you how to love, Harry, but you've done something even more spectacular for me. You taught me how to feel loved in return.”

***

Today.

Today was the day. I finally told Hermione how I feel about her. Today was the perfect day to tell her.

Well, on second thought, today's no good. Won't work.

EVERYDAY is the perfect day to tell her… every day for the rest of our lives.

Those were my thoughts earlier this evening as I held Hermione in my arms and told her how much I love her for the second time.

A/N - How did you like it? The song is "If I Don't Tell You Now" by Ronan Keating. It can be found on his album entitled "Ronan." Please leave a review and let me know what you think. I appreciate your reviews! Thank you for reading!