Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 02/09/2003
Last Updated: 02/09/2003
Status: Completed
Harry and Hermione both love each other. Hermione is afraid of rejection, while Harry is afraid of rejection and her life. Will it all work out? One-shot please review!
AN: Hi!! This is my very first Harry Potter fanfic. I’ve written fanfics before, mostly about anime but I lost interest in my stories. I haven’t written anything for years now, but I’ve kept reading fanfics. I love the books and the movies. I’m a big H/HR shipper though and I hope in all my heart that JKR ends her books with them together.
Well, this is set in the 7th year at Hogwarts and the song is Daniel Beddingfield’s – If You’re Not the One. The italicized words are the person's thoughts. Enjoy!
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If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Harry Potter walked down the halls of Hogwarts, the school of magic that had become his home over the many years. And now, this would be his last year here as a student. Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived as so many people knew him as, had grown up tremendously and splendidly.
Puberty had been on his side this lifetime. Tall, handsome, and with a physique that was created by many hours of Quidditch playing made his physical appearance irresistible. That was not the end of it though. He had the personality: the shy yet adorable charm, the bravery, the loyalty, the intelligence, the compassion, and the need to protect those he held so dearly to his heart.
Harry knew that he could have any girl he wanted, and there were many that would have killed to be his … but yet, he only wanted one person, and she was the forbidden one to him.
As forbidden as the apple was to Eve, Hermione was Harry’s forbidden apple.
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
Hermione … thinking about her brought a smile to his lips.
Throughout the 7 years, Harry had thought of Hermione as only a friend. She was someone he could confide in and ask for help. She and Ron had provided him the friendship that he desired so very much. They both meant so much to him that he knew that he would sacrifice his life for both of them in a second, without any thoughts or regrets.
However, over the past few months, Harry started to look at Hermione in a different view. As he continued looking, he noticed things that made him realize all the things he didn’t care to notice over the past 7 years. Hermione Granger, best friend to Harry Potter, turned from a smart girl into a beautiful, graceful, and even more intelligent woman. Without her, he wouldn’t be who and where he was today.
As he walked into the Gryffindor common room, he flung himself onto sofa. Hermione, where are you? his mind asked.
"Harry!" a voice rang out.
He knew without looking up, that it was her.
"Harry!!" she grew more urgent. Her voice was absolutely … angelic.
He turned around and faced her for the first time that day. Her appearance never ceased to take his breath away.
Her hair had somewhat tamed over the years, yet was still bushy, and was now many different shades of brown. She had gotten taller, but still only reached his chin. Her body filled in the right places with the right amount. Her skin was a lovely color, not too dark, yet not too light, and it looked oh-so soft. Her lips were pink and full … how he longed to taste them. And finally, her eyes. Deep chocolate brown.
It was because of those eyes that he had started to develop a craving for chocolate over the last few months.
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
"What is it Hermione?" finally answering her.
He turned to look out the window. Anything to distract himself from her. He knew he had to, or else he would lose all self-control and act on his hormones.
He noticed that it was the middle of spring. Flowers started to bloom and bird eggs were beginning to hatch. New things were happening.
"Well, I was looking for you. Ron wanted us to go to Hogsmeade with him to help him find something for Luna’s and his one-month anniversary since we promised we’d help."
Ron and Luna, a new couple. Spring is definitely the season when new things come about, Harry smiled sadly at the next thought, maybe except for me. Who knows if this will be the last spring I ever have.
He knew he should tell Hermione his developing feelings for her before it was too late. But the thought of rejection scared him even more than death. After death, you wouldn’t be able to feel anything. Everything would become nothing. However, after rejection, there was always pain. A pain that came from knowing that Harry had never known real love. His parent’s love was taken from him before he could remember it, and knowing that the one person who he was willing to give his heart away might not love him as more than a friend, frightened him.
Hermione sensed something was wrong after a minute of no answer from Harry. "Harry, what’s wrong? Tell me," she urged gently.
"Hermione, have I ever thanked you for being my friend? Do you realize that without you or Ron, I probably couldn’t survive in this lifetime? You guys showed me real friendship, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to repay you both for this."
When Hermione didn’t say anything, Harry continued, still looking out the window,
"I wanted to tell you this, because I know that any day now, Voldemort could come out of nowhere and attack. People might die … I might die … you might die, which, of course, I would do anything in my power to stop that from happening. But I just wanted to tell you today, before it’s too late … or any of us. Because this moment is the only thing I’m sure of."
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Hermione was surprised. She knew that Harry appreciated all the things that Ron and her did for him, but she never thought he could or would be so expressive about his feelings. Even after 7 years of friendship, he still had some surprises up his sleeve. She thought about what he said for a moment and walked next to him, choosing to lean against the window. However, even though they were so close, they didn’t look at each other.
"You’re a great wizard Harry," words spoken so many years ago, "and I never really believed that you would fall against Voldemort. After so many years of being your friend you’ve showed me what’s really important. Before I came to Hogwarts, I was focused on being number one in academics. I didn’t want anything else. I didn’t even plan on making close friends.
But then I met you, famous Harry Potter, and I knew the moment I fixed your glasses, that I wanted to help you during our years here. Maybe that’s why I would always be a know-it-all around you. Because I wanted you to know that I was smart and that would make you come to me for help. I was never really any good at anything except things that had to do with books.
But you showed me that I can do things except study. I can be a best friend. That’s why, when you do face Voldemort, I’m gonna be standing there, right next to you … ready to fight for our future. Because one day, you, me, and Ron will look back at this and … smile." Finally, she looked up at him, with her own small smile on her face.
She had said Voldemort without stuttering and with a smile on her face. Her fear of him was gone. Harry had taken it away.
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Harry gave a sad smile. There were so many things going through his head. Could he tell her? He desperately wanted to. Without a second thought, he pulled her close and held her, just as tight as she held him.
"Hermione, you have no idea what’s going on inside my head. There are so many things I want to say, to tell you. But I’m scared. There are so many things at stake already, and I don’t want your life to be one of the things included. By knowing me, you have a greater risk than most people do, and that drives me crazy. Knowing that you’re in danger because of me. That’s why I have to leave things unsaid." With that, he left go of her reluctantly … and left the common room.
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
At night, Hermione was in her room. She hadn’t seen Harry for the whole day, even though she went looking for him. She wanted to know what had to be left unsaid. Her curiosity was driving her insane.
Over the years at Hogwarts, during the countless arguments and laughs … somewhere along the road, she had fallen in love with Harry. When she was able to finally see through his defenses of fearlessness and confidence, she saw the needy boy, scrawny from starving for love. She wanted to be the one to give him that. And today, she had found out that she was the one that helped feed that little boy with love. However, she wanted to be the one that held him and know things that no one would ever get the chance to know.
She wanted to touch him, taste him, and love him like a woman loved a man. There had been many nights when she laid in her bed and cried, thinking she wasn’t the one and would never be the one for him. When she was conscious, she tried to block out what she felt. But Harry’s face continued to haunt even in her dreams.
She knew she wouldn’t be getting any sleep anytime soon, so got out of bed, retrieved her book Hogwarts: A History and went down to the common room.
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Meanwhile, Harry was lying in the security of his own bed.
He missed the closeness of Hermione. He knew that she was only a few doors away, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to be near her. He knew without a doubt that he would always love Hermione, no matter what happened. They were connected in such a way that it was beyond what friends or lovers had. They were soulmates. She was his other half. And he wouldn’t want it any other way. He was ready to spend his future with her, whether as his wife or his best friend. And Ron would be there along for the ride.
It was a fantasy Harry wanted so desperately to come true. He wanted so much to be a normal 17-year guy. He didn’t want the fear of dying or the label of the Boy-Who-Lived. He wanted parents, he wanted Hermione … he just wanted love.
He looked at his nightstand. 2 o'clock. He sighed. Well, I’m not getting any sleep now. Maybe I should go for a nightly broom ride. He got out of bed, changed into warmer clothes, and grabbed his Firebolt and Quidditch robes just in case, and left the dormitories.
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
Hermione was already downstairs in the common room. She came down to read, but instead her thoughts wandered to Harry. She was still dying to know what he wanted to say. And yet, there were so many things she wanted to tell him herself. Harry was her best friend, she should be able to tell him everything. But telling your best friend you’re in love with them is one of things that should be left unsaid. Maybe he feels the same way. I doubt it. He has so much to bear and suffer through. She sighed.
Hermione heard a door closing and looked up, staring into the face of Harry himself, not noticing his Firebolt and Quidditch robes.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked.
"Couldn’t sleep. I decided to read." Harry gave a smile that could easily have been mistaken for a smirk. She showed him her book.
"How many times have you read that? 83 times?" Hermione smirked back.
"And do you have a problem with that? What are you doing here, with your Firebolt no less?" Finally noticing his robes and broom.
Harry looked at the bundle in his arms as if he had forgotten he was holding them.
"Oh, just going for a night ride," then Harry had an idea, "Do you want to come along?" Inside, he was a bit nervous, fearing that she would decline his invitation.
"Sure, why not?" then she sat up, and together, they walked out to the Quidditch pitch.
On the way, they strolled along in a comfortable silence. No words needed to be said between them.
When they reached the pitch, Hermione started to walk towards the stands. Harry was confused,
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To the stands, to watch you of course. Where else would I go?" now it was Hermione’s turn to look confused.
"I asked you to join me. Come on, you can ride with me," Harry suggested, feeling a bit bolder. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew that if he and Hermione were up in the sky, very close together, he couldn’t guarantee anything. But something was in the air, and it made the idea and Hermione irresistible, as she had always been to him.
She gave a suspicious look,
"How sure am I that I won’t drop and die? Maybe you’re trying to do away with me. If that happens, I’ll swear I’ll become a ghost and make you wish that you were back at the Dursley’s locked in their cupboard," giving him a now playful look.
Harry laughed quietly and grabbed her arm, responding.
"I promise nothing will happen to you … I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, never," his voice lowered to a mere husky whisper. It filled Hermione’s body with warmth and shivers and she thought how does he do that? Affect me so much that I feel warm and have goosebumps at the same time!
She climbed onto the broom without so much as another protest and felt Harry climb behind her. He put his big hands, over her now suddenly very tiny hands, and kicked off the ground. She gave a tiny shriek and closed her eyes.
"Open your eyes. Everything is beautiful," and again, she was filled with a new heat and shivers. She opened her eyes, and indeed, the view was magnificent. It was a half moon and there were only three or four stars in the sky.
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
"Are you cold?" and without waiting for an answer, he took his Quidditch robes, and wrapped it around both of them, causing Hermione to lean back into him. She was about to protest, but was too content and amazed to say anything. So, they stayed up in the sky for awhile, admiring the view and basking in each other’s warmth.
"Harry?"
"Yes?"
"You said you had something to tell me, but you couldn’t. What was it?" she asked.
"I can’t Hermione. I wish I could, but I can’t." He unconsciously tightened his arms around her body and buried his face in her shoulder.
"Well then, I need to tell you something," Hermione started.
"What?" Harry whispered. She could barely here him.
"I … g-gave my heart away to … someone." Well, this is it, thought a very nervous Hermione.
"Oh really? Who?" Hermione thought he sounded angry, almost jealous? This encouraged her a little further.
"Someone who I want to share the rest of my life with. Who I can be happy with and have little kids running around the house with. Someone who when I’m old and wrinkly, still see me as the most beautiful thing that he’s even seen. I’ve given my heart to him since I was born, knowing that one day, when I did meet him, I’d know he’d be the one."
"Who is he?" he asked again, now sounding a bit sad and frustrated.
"It’s someone I met when I was 11, on a scarlet train. Back then Harry, I saw him and thought ‘this is who I want to get to know. Whether as a friend, or maybe later even more, I wanted him in my life. And I wanted him to stay.' We became best friends. It was him, me, and a red-haired boy throughout our lives at a wizardry school. I never doubted that I wanted to stay with him. It was always him. Because I gave my heart to you," she finished.
She felt him stiffen, and thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same. She refused to look into his eyes and continued to look at the moon, the stars, the treetops. Anywhere but his face.
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Harry didn’t know how to respond. He knew he wanted her, but he was too afraid for her.
"Hermione, I never told you about the prophecy. I never told anyone as a matter of fact. It was one of the reasons why I couldn’t tell you how I feel."
"What did it say?" she asked quietly and curiously.
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord nows not…and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"
Harry had memorized the exact words Dumbledore had spoken to him almost two years ago. His chin rested on Hermione’s head and her body froze.
"Does it mean - "
"Yeah, it does. Either I’m going to be a murderer or a victim. Neville also fit the prophecy. Our parents had both escaped from Voldemort three times, and we were both born at the end of July. But Voldemort picked me because I’m a half-blood, like him. He marked me. In the end, it’s going to be me that has to face him … alone," Harry paused for awhile, then continued,
"There are times when I’m in bed, thinking about this, wishing that he had picked Neville instead so I wouldn’t have to deal with all this. All I’ve ever really wanted was a normal life. The chance of having loving parents, of being able to hang out with friends without the fear of someone killing us, of telling the girl who just told me she loved me that I feel the same way.
I wanted to wait until after, to make sure that I was going to survive. I didn’t want to put you in anymore danger than you already were. That’s why I couldn’t say anything. I do love you Hermione. I did give my heart to you long before I knew you. I dreamt of you ever since the first night I slept as a baby, and you surpassed my dreams tenfold."
Hermione twisted her neck to face Harry and her look made his insides melt. Unshed tears filled her chocolate eyes.
"Oh Harry - " and his lips met hers.
It wasn’t a passionate, hungry kiss. It was pure and innocent, like their newfound love. But new couple wouldn’t want it any other way because it was filled with both of their love and it was more than enough.
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
When the broke apart, both of their eyes were still closed. Hermione was the first to speak.
"Harry, you have to know that I would never abandon you."
"I do know. That’s one of the many things I love about you."
"Do you really know? Then you should’ve known that regardless of the prophecy, I would’ve stood by you. I realize now that physically, you are going to be alone when you fight him. But emotionally and mentally, never. Even if the world decided to abandon you, I would still be right here. When you do fight him, my love for you is going to stay in here," she put her palm flat against his chest, "and it’s never going to leave. I never had any doubt that you weren’t going to defeat Voldemort. So, when you come back, I’ll be the first one to welcome you back with open arms and a smile."
"Thank you Hermione. You have always been there for me, even when Ron hasn’t. You’re my best friend, lover, and soulmate. And I wouldn’t want to change that. My best memories always included you, and I can’t wait to make more with you, together, in our future.
They continued to look into the night sky, content with holding each other, creating another happy memory, because now they knew … they loved and were loved in return. And it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to them.
~We will dream together … always forever~
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Well, that’s the end!! Hope you liked it and please review! I need all the feedback I can get. Thanks for reading.