Love is Hope: Life after fifth year

An: I know my writing style can be a little descriptive and focusing on the emotions and thought processes, and thus lacking in conversation, but I like to have as much of the state of mind explained, so the actions are understood... I can’t really promise to put in more conversations, just assure you that there won’t be any chapters without any form of communication...

Enjoy!

***

‘Oh... oh my God...’

Hermione tried to show only enthusiasm at Harry’s request, but found herself baffled for the span of a whole 17 seconds. Harry had just asked her, HE had asked HER!, if she would mind, MIND!, revising some schoolwork, and prepare for the NEWT classes. Underneath her surprise, she felt so happy she almost squealed... almost.

Harry and Remus had returned from the *very* strenuous job of getting her trunk two flights up the stairs (Remus used magic to levitate them upstairs). They had found Hermione and Tonks merrily swapping Weasley stories for Order ones. Crookshanks had jumped from Tonks lap to greet Remus and Harry in catlike manner, by leaving fur all over their trousers, and nudged Hermione’s side pocket of her robe with his little head.

That reminded Hermione that she still had that letter from Ron for Harry. Apparently nobody had filled Harry in properly about the Weasley situation, even Ron’s letter was fuzzy on the details, so Hermione had to relate the whole story. Harry, fortunately, stayed calm, but she saw it was eating him up inside that Percy would turn on them like that. Before they knew it, it was almost time for preparing dinner. Shooing the kids from the kitchen, Remus promised to have it ready in a half an hour. He’d added very quietly, ‘an hour if Nymphadora tries to help me’.

Before Hermione could glare sufficiently lethally, and maybe throw in a sharp comment to Lupin, Harry had led her to the drawing room they’d cleaned up last summer. It had undergone a true metamorphose. In contrast to the rest of the house, who had a real Slytherin-team going on, the room had been completely redecorated in Gryffindor style. The warm colours made the atmosphere in the room stand out even more against the rest of the house.

After a short explanation that Remus had told him Sirius had done this, in an attempt to make the boredom go away, Harry’d led her to the comfy armchairs in front of the fire. They’d been talking about the courses they’d finally picked for next year. Ron had put up Charms, Defence against Dark Arts, Transfiguration and Care of Magical Creatures, and after a lot of nagging of both Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, he’d signed up for Herbology, too.

Hermione had just said she signed up for all classes again, and still hadn’t breathe a word about the fact she was going to follow them all, in favour of her prefect badge. She knew Ron and Ginny would have declared her mad, and perhaps Harry would’ve been too polite to say that same thought out loud. Harry had signed in for mostly the same as Ron, except for Herbology. He had decided to take Potions after all.

He was telling her about how he’d found her notes very useful, and that he wanted to put an extra effort in Potions. That’s when he had popped THE question.

Hermione tried to be logical about this, and reign in the exuberance that was threatening to spill. It wouldn’t do, to finally have one of her boys asking her to study with them, really study, and then frighten them away by coming on too strong. Oh, bullocks, who was she kidding? She had already arranged her whole summer study schedule to fit in sessions with Harry in her head, they were going to have the times of their lives, or at least she was.

It must have been fortune that just at the moment Hermione was about to start filling Harry in on what was happening in her mind, Tonks yelled for dinner. Harry didn’t seem to have needed a ‘yes’ to his question, he took the smile on her face for answer. And really Hermione was trying not to look goofy like she’d just been kissed for the first time or something. Harry led the way to the kitchen, shaking his head.

Tonks’ returned annoyed demeanour couldn’t bring Hermione down. She was talking with Remus about the situation at the Ministry all the while her mind was working overtime on what she could teach Harry. She barely noticed she was actually eating, and only when her plate was empty did she notice that it had been quite good. It wasn’t that she was especially surprised or anything that a man could cook something edible – her father was a far better cook than her mother – it’s was just the first time in the magical world she had witnessed a wizard at the stove...

By that time conversation was slowing down and an uncomfortable silence was falling around the table. Hermione regretted the amiable atmosphere that had been replaced by melancholy. Not that talk about the Ministry situation was particularly cheerful, it had been animated. And it wasn’t that anyone had even mentioned his name, it was just that he was so strongly missed, even the more mischievous behaviour from Remus and Harry couldn’t begin to replace the unique humour of Sirius.

Of course Sirius hadn’t particularly been in a joyful mood the last couple of months of his life, but it were the times he had made everyone rolling on the ground from laughter that were on her mind right now. She remembered disapproving of his ‘corruption’ of Harry, and her worry that he was comparing Harry to James Potter too much. Sirius had been a man, broken by Azkaban, and living for the sole purpose of protecting Harry and avenging his best friends, which meant destroying Voldemort and his Death Eaters, especially Wormtail.

A thought suddenly came to her; they were free to kill Wormtail now. Sirius wasn’t there anymore, and most people already believed in his innocence, so there was no reason to not kill him the next time they had the misfortune to cross his path. Harry disturbed her morbid thoughts by getting up and excusing himself. Remus looked pained himself to see him go, his posture so rigid. Hermione looked over at Tonks but she lowered her gaze to the table.

Not long after Harry had left, the older wizard followed his example. Hermione turned to Tonks: “Have either of them talked about him yet?”

Tonks shook her head in the negative, her own hurt look plainly visible: “And if your having any illusions that they’re talking together now, you can get it out of your head; they’re both sulking in their corner”

Hermione wasn’t that surprised. But she was determined, and determined-Hermione got what she wanted, most of the times... Quickly setting the dirty plates in the sink, leaving them there to be cleaned in the morning, she asked Tonks: “Where are their corners?”

“Harry’s most likely in his own room, or maybe with Buckbeak, but I wouldn’t count on that, since Remus goes up there sometimes, too. So there would be a chance that they would meet there, quite ineffective for a good lone sulk. Remus’ most likely in the basements, checking his cage”

Hermione frowned, cage? “What do you mean?”

“Oh, yeah, uhm, well I don’t know if you’re really supposed to know this, but Snape well... You’re a smart girl, you’d figure it out anyway. With the large quantity of Death Eaters stashed away somewhere, Snape has been called a lot more and been under a closer watch by Voldemort. He hasn’t been able to brew Wolfsbane for Remus anymore, and since it has to be administered ‘fresh’, it isn’t like you can go to some store to get your portion. There are at intervals projects at St-Mungo’s to administer the potion to all werewolves who want it, but you can imagine that it isn’t a real priority for them...”

“Professor Lupin has been transforming all summer?”

“No, tomorrow will be the first time, he’s had a break last month when St-Mungo’s gave him the potion, but that was in the afterglow of the happenings at the Ministry, now he’s just another werewolf, not one of the brave men rescuing Harry Potter at the Ministry...”

“Is that why he has been teasing you mercilessly? To get his mind off of it?”

Tonks seemed surprised for a moment: “You think that’s why he’s been a prat lately? Well that would make sense, wouldn’t it? Say, Hermy, wanna give me a hand getting down to the dungeons, I have some words to say to a certain werewolf”

This suited Hermione fine, since she was planning to have a conversation of her own. So she led the Auror down the stairs, checking that Remus was indeed there, and turned to search for the other sulking wizard in the house. “Oh, and *Nymphadora*, if you call me Hermy again...” Both witches smiled at each other knowingly.

***

Hermione had first made sure Harry wasn’t in Buckbeak’s residence, nor any other room in the house, except for his own room. Making a quick stop in her own room, she got some parchment and went for Harry. She had an idea that would maybe help Harry, or maybe she really was off her rocker, like Ron kept telling her. But she had to do some research first, and maybe ask... Her musings stopped when she found herself in front of Harry’s door.

Knocking softly, she tried pushing it open, but it was locked from the inside. Before Harry could tell her to go away, she spoke through the door: “Harry Potter, you better open this door, and start studying with me right this minute, or I’m going to be very cranky tomorrow” Secretly she thought she was going to be cranky the next day anyway, because it was going to be that time of the month, but damn if either of her best friends would ever notice that.

Ginny teased her sometimes by calling her the were-meter, since her period always started the day before the full moon, and she was always extremely touchy that one day. Hermione consoled herself with the fact that at least she had a very regular internal clock for that particular part of her, making it possible to avoid any embarrassments. She always tried to steer clear of the boys that day, because if she should ever hear the words ‘must be that time of the month’, she knew she was going to explode. And if Hermione exploded, they had seen nothing yet with Ginny’s Bat Bogey hex...

She heard some shuffling from inside the room, and the door opened on a creak. “You want to start now?”

Hermione huffed: “Well, of course, when were you planning on starting? Tomorrow morning? And loose all this time just hanging about? You asked me, so I’m providing,” Hermione pushed her way through the door. Belatedly she realised it would maybe be more proper to do this in the drawing room, but she pushed that thought aside. Harry and her had been friends for what seemed ages, it’s just another room. A very messy room, but just a place in a house.

How could one person, who had stayed here for only one day, create so much mess? Granted Hermione’s room wasn’t the neatest place in the world, but the mess was mostly the result of several days of studying and piling up several books and notes, maybe a few broken quills she failed to put in the wastebun. His desk was covered with the copies of her notes she’d given him, and his old potions book, as well as a tome she recognized as the book the Room of Requirement had provided her with on their first D.A. lesson.

She smiled, at least he had appreciated her notes. When she’d told Ron and Ginny about her visit to Harry, she’d mentioned she’d given those to Harry. She had attempted making Ron read them too, but he’d looked at her like she had finally gone crazy. She smiled when she thought about how she still hadn’t told Ron about her ‘SING move’. She was saving it for a time when she could use the comic relief of seeing his expression upon hearing the story, to the fullest. Ginny of course knew already.

Putting the notes she had carried with her down on the one little spot of his desk that wasn’t already occupied, she let herself fall on the chair. Harry, like a good boy was already bringing Ron’s desk chair over. Hermione immediately spotted a list with questions and scanned them quickly. He really had studied quite thoroughly, most of the questions had been already answered by himself, no doubt he had looked them up in his books. There were even some that she was going to have to search in some of her texts, not really quite sure of the answer herself.

Proudly she looked up and started solving his questions with him. After a while, they were at an impasse. Having discussed mostly Potions, it was all well to understand the theory, Harry needed the practise. Since potion brewing didn’t necessarily fall under the decree of Underage Magic, they made plans to ask if they could start brewing first thing in the morning. They would of course need more ingredients, but it remained to be seen if they would get permission to go to Diagon Alley.

Hermione was getting on a roll, planning a whole study schedule, and it was a while before she noticed Harry wasn’t even listening to her anymore. Glancing at her watch, she let her annoyance slide, since it really was quite late. “I’m sorry. Are you tired, Harry?” Looking up, his gaze fell on her, and she shivered. The look in them wasn’t just tired for going to bed, it was tired... like tired of life.

Impulse overtook her and she hugged him. He hugged her lightly back and whispered: “What’s wrong, Hermione?”

She covered with the first thing that came to mind: “I’m just glad you’re finally taking your studies seriously” She didn’t sound very convincing even to her self. She didn’t know if his incredulous look was because he couldn’t believe she’d just hugged him because he’d said he wanted to study, or if he just didn’t believe she told the truth. She was just glad the previous look of resignation mixed with silent despair was gone.

He frowned and said grinning, but only slightly: “If I knew you were going to react like this/”

“I know, I know, I promise I’ll behave myself, and try not to be too happy while studying” Harry looked at her funnily. Well, what did she say? He was going to say he regretted asking her for assistance, and she so didn’t want to hear him say that. She realised that a lot of his desire to study came from a need to occupy his mind, as to not dwell constantly on Sirius and Voldemort. And she was going to help him, or die trying. Well hopefully not literally...

Harry shook his head as if to rid it of some stray thought, while Hermione was collecting her papers. Before she left his room he called after her: “Hermione... thanks for helping me. Goodnight” Hermione smiled: “Goodnight, Harry”

Standing on the landing she didn’t go for her room yet, but went down to the kitchen. Her throat felt dry from lecturing Harry, and she could use some tea before she went to bed. Depositing her notes on the kitchen table she went about to boil some water, when she was distracted by sounds coming from downstairs. Considering the muffled voices were heard through the thick floor, Hermione guessed they were shouting at each other.

She was torn between ignoring them and going to her room, and go look what was going on. Hermione had definitely been corrupted since her first year at Hogwarts. Though she felt it was personal, and that she was probably just a kid sticking her nose into adults’ affairs, she also remembered Tonks’ condition. Though she’d never believe Professor Lupin to be capable of hurting anyone, it was the day before his transformation, and he sounded pretty uninhibited. Hermione knew that the illness before the full moon stemmed from the repression of violent urges, the wolf’s urges. It didn’t sound like her old professor was repressing much.

Besides, if she didn’t know what was going on she would have a hard time getting asleep anyway. Making her way silently down the stairs, she checked around the corner. In the back of the underground space she saw the bars that would be Lupin’s cage. Tonks had entered about half of the room, staying close to one of the walls for support. She had her back to Hermione, while Remus was pacing in and out of Hermione’s line of vision.

“You just don’t understand!” his voice sounded almost alien to Hermione’s ears. Remus Lupin had always been the silent one, calm, never to lose himself over emotions. Now he sounded raw, on edge, in pain...

Tonks pleaded: “You said that all ready. Please try to make me understand, tell me...” In a split second the man was before her, effectively pinning her to the wall. Hermione almost gasped, should she help Tonks?

The woman in question didn’t seem particularly scared, though her voice trembled: “Remus...”

What happened next shocked Hermione to her core. With a growl Remus lowered his face to Tonks’ and kissed her. And not just some peck on the lips, but a flew-blown snog, making Hermione blush like she’d never blushed before. As quickly as it started Remus lifted his head, giving Tonks just enough space to catch her breath. Though Hermione was pretty far, she could still see his almost incredulous look: “I/”

“Don’t apologize,” well, Tonks’ reaction speed seemed to be back to normal.

“Nymphadora,” Hermione almost melted, if anyone would ever say *her* name with that much emotion behind it... Apparently Tonks thought along the same lines, because it sure didn’t look like she minded being called by her first name. Grabbing the back of his head she attacked his lips with her own, and that is when Hermione decided Tonks really wasn’t in any danger from Remus. Well, not in the sense that he’d hurt her, or that she’d mind if he did. Hermione shook her head, while silently and as quickly as possible climbing the stairs.

‘Ok, girl, time for you to get some sleep... Yeah, like I’m going to fall asleep easily after witnessing *that*... Urgh, bad Hermione!’

***

Please review