Love is Hope: Life after fifth year

Chap 13 Return to Hogwarts

Today being September the first brought the usual amount of chaos in the morning, trying to get ready to catch the train in time. They were again separated from Harry, for security reasons, but the amount of wizards guarding Ron, Ginny and herself had increased since last year.

Hermione felt a little awkward at being the one left behind by the lot of them in favour of the prefect meeting. She walked the train searching for an empty compartment. Aside from the fact that it was good to be back, she felt slightly lost. She crossed a couple of gossiping Ravenclaws. Belatedly she realised Cho Chang was among them.

It wasn’t that she really cared for Cho, but she had been in the DA last year, so Hermione didn’t plan to ignore she knew the girl. Cho had always been one of the girls she rather... disliked. Apart from being a Ravenclaw and thus not really unintelligent, she was a popular girl, with her group of girlfriends backing her. When she wasn’t around a male she wanted to dazzle with her ‘innocent’ charms, she had a tendency to snob other girls.

That in itself wasn’t so bad to Hermione, after all she had been known to be a snob also. But it was the way Cho divided people in ‘worth-knowing’ and ‘not-worth-knowing’ and acted upon that belief. Like the way she looked at Ron like he was just beneath her, like a Flobberworm. Like the way she laughed behind Neville’s back, and the way she had snatched up Michael, literally minutes after Ginny ditched him, and dumped him herself not two months later.

Because of all her musings she hadn’t noticed Cho had backtracked her steps and was startled when she heard "Hermione Granger, bookworm extraordinaire!" followed by giggles.

Hermione turned and saw the sneering face of Cho looking back. The look changed in a false friendly one, when she added: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything, it's just, with being the smartest person of this *century* and all... I feel I ought to congratulate you"

The intonation spoke volumes of the hypocrisy of the girl, and Hermione fought not to lower to her level: "Thank you, Cho. I did work hard to get those OWLs. Did you hear the DA is now an official duelling club? I do hope you'll continue your membership"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Cho's face contorted in anger, before she put up her mask again.

"Oh, and I presume *you're* the president of the club? Is that why you gave up your prefect's badge?"

Hermione had no wish to explain to this girl why she wasn't prefect anymore: "No, of course not, Harry's always been the leader of DA. Why would you think I/"

But she didn't dare ask further on the subject. Cho's expression on hearing Harry's name was one she couldn't read. "Yeah, how's it going with Potter anyway?"

One of Cho’s friends was making a great show of getting out a magazine from her bag. She recognized it as Witch Weekly. Though she had no subscription on it, Ginny had, and the younger witch kept her informed about what it published.

To Hermione's knowledge, Ginny hadn't read, nor received, even,the latest volume yet, so she had no clue as to what to expect. The girl, who started to read some part aloud, she recognized being a Slytherin, not a Ravenclaw. Starting to get a bit nervous, she'd rather have slipped away in some random compartment, but she was a Gryffindor. The train had started to move, and the corridor was desolated.

/It has come to our attention, thatHermione Granger, who has won so many OWLs for her gender, must have been dumped by her boyfriend, Viktor Krum. This information almost didn't make it in this edition, since it was only the evening before the printing that Quidditch player extraordinaire, Seeker Krum for Bulgaria,had announced his engagement to the Bulgarian belle, Violette Viper.

The beautiful Miss Viper, soon to be Mrs. Krum, only laughed at the question on how she'd been able to steal Granger's boyfriend. It is of course sad to say, that Miss Granger holds her charms in her intellect, and didn't stand a chance incompeting with the belle. Our redaction how-ever has been investigating why they hadn't heard a rumour of this break-up before, and came to a startling conclusion.

Miss Granger has been known in the past to play two wizards at once, and it seems old habits die hard. In a hearing of little importance with the Wizengamot, Miss Granger had been called to answer some questions. Upon defending her friendship with Mr. Harry Potter before the court, she was very emotional to reply that she'd rather die than leave his side. A very noble sentiment indeed, but in this admittance laid also her confession...

No doubt this news has to havereached poor Viktor Krum, and broken the spell she had him under. All we can say now, is, poor Mr. Potter, may he find out what this girl really is.../

Hermione had been stoic during the reading of the letter. She had forgotten how hard it was to deal with the lies of the press, and it didn't get any easier. Especially the part of Viktor's engagement. While she repeated to herself that *she* hadn't want him as anything more then a friend, she felt betrayed nonetheless by hearing this news from the press, and not from Victor. As for the accusations about Harry, well, she supposed she had to get used to have them keep coming up.

Since last night she'd been thinking seriously about why people would always believe her and Harry to bea couple. Admittedly, if anyone had seen her gawking at him last night, she would think that too, but that had just been the outfit, and the motorcycle... Otherwise there was just as much reason to believe her and Ron to be a couple... She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Cho shook her out of the seclusion of her mind: "Well, is it true? You’re finally admitting on putting your claws in Harry?"

Hermione almost burst into laughter, before she saw the expression on the girls’ faces were very serious. "What? Cho, you know as well as I do Harry doesn't see me as anything than a best friend?"

Hermione knew Cho had accused Harry of just the opposite, but she had believed it had been said in a moment of pain and anger, not a rational belief of this being true...

"Really?/"

Hermione was getting sick of this: "Honestly! Look, Chang, believe what you want, but I would like to put my things down and go greet friends I haven't seen all summer. So if you'll excuse me"

With that Hermione turned and walked away. She heard one of the girls yelling after her: “What friends?” but didn’t pay any attention to it. Hermione had never believed Cho would really go this far, she knew the older girl didn’t like her, but this?

She got to the compartment Neville, Dean and Seamus were in. Greeting them she asked if she could join them. Pleasantries ensued, but she couldn’t fully ignore the hurt feeling she had retained from the conversation in the corridor. Dean and Seamus were asking about Ginny, and she reminded them that she was a prefect now. Apparently others already informed them about her choice of schedule for this year; she suspected Ginny.

Neville had a new wand and was anxious to use it. Under encouragement of the others he tried, but in his nervousness, he broke the glass of the compartment door with the inkbottle he was trying to levitate. Luckily nobody was harmed, and Hermione repaired everything in no time. But with a little bit more control, he had better results with this wand then with his old one.

The subject turned to DA, and to Hermione’s astonishment, they hadn’t heard about it being an official duelling club yet. The mysteries of gossip: some know this truth, others that one... The topic of conversation continued likewise between the boys, while Hermione settled herself more comfortable in her seat with her book on Magical Creatures. She was lost between the pages when she heard taunting voices from just outside the door. Mentally rolling her eyes, she got up to investigate.

“... your daddy. You know you’ll never get your Weasel to even look your way, so why don’t you give it a rest, Lunatic?”

Pansy Parkinson, with her back to Hermione, was holding the Quibbler away from Luna Lovegood. Luna didn’t particularly seem upset or affected, but then again, she never did.

“Jealous, Parkinson? Do you want our Quidditch captain all to yourself?” Pansy swivelled back, surprised, but her expression quickly showed a cruel glint.

“Captain, hé? Does he think by being captain, you’ll finally give him the time of the day?”

“When you’ll start talking sense, you’ll let me know, won’t you? Come on Luna, we’re sitting here” Hermione made to turn around.

“Just know, little Mudblood, I’m still a prefect, watch your back this year!”

Hermione felt almost murderous, Pansy had always brought out the worst in her, much like Malfoy: “I happen to know *you’re* on probation, one mention of abuse of power, or inappropriate language, and you’re out of the game, *Parkinson*”

With that Hermione furiously dragged Luna into the compartment and shut the door with a loud snap. Luna faced her and said unblinkingly: “She was talking about Ronald drooling all over you. She told me the only chance I’d ever have with Ronald is if his Mudblood died”

Uncomfortably Hermione looked shocked at the younger girl. “Luna, you do know Pansy’s full of it, don’t you? She’d say anything if she thought it would hurt you”

“Of course, and I do not wish you to die”

“Thanks,” ‘I guess’. Hermione sat down again and though she saw the boys sharing glances, she didn’t make note of it. Luna sat down next to her and showed her the copy she had retrieved back from Pansy.

“Hermione did you see the article? It really is fabulous, the world is going to know the truth behind the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, now. Of course you saw the pictures already, but/”

Hermione was glad she was interrupted when the door slid open and her boys and Ginny came through. Greetings were exchanged, bags and trunks pushed in, and pets were protesting. When finally everyone had squeezed in, Hermione was about to ask who’d been made Head Boy and Girl, and how the meeting had been. But their yearly visit from Malfoy with his cronies was upon them...

“Well, well, well. ’See the Mudblood’s been degraded. They finally saw the light and took away her badge...”

Before anyone else could start shouting or cursing, wand-wise or otherwise, Hermione snapped back: “Malfoy, I suggest you keep a tighter leash on your bitch. She was torturing students moments ago without your supervision. You should go fetch her and remind her you’re all on probation...”

Stunned silent followed Hermione’s statement. At length Malfoy spoke: “Whatever, Granger, I just came to warn you all to watch your backs from now on!”

Without giving anyone the pleasure of returning a witty answer on that threat, he stomped out of there. Everyone, except for Luna, who hadn’t been interested in the event from the start, re-reading the article on Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, was looking at Hermione in shock.

“What?! Look, I have it up to here with smart asses trying to get a rise out of me by insinuating my badge has been taken from me because of some thing or another. And if they’re going to be idiots about it... Ok, so the ‘bitch’ thing was a bit much, but Parkinson really does follow him around like a female dog...”

Ginny was the first to crack a smile: “I’m very proud of you. Fred and George are going to eat their shorts when they heard they missed your little speech”

Seamus and Dean just chuckled, while Neville looked at her in... well, she couldn’t read, really...

Fingering his badge Harry smiled: “Does this means *I’m* supposed to *lecture* THE Hermione Granger...”

Ron was the last to come over his shock and said theatricly: “Perish the thought. It must have been a fluke, we have to savour this while it’s fresh in our memories, who knows when the next time will be Hermione Granger let’s an inappropriate word escape her mouth!”

The mood had quickly changed in joviality. The rest of the trip was rather uneventful. Hermione didn’t see the need to relate the story of Cho and the Witch Weekly article, though she had no doubt in her mind, that by tomorrow no student in Hogwarts was going to be ignorant about the latter. Oh well.

Ginny left the compartment to greet some friends, with on each arm Dean and Seamus. It was a good thing Harry and Neville were holding Ron’s sleeves, because his little sister was just using his two roommates to get a rise out of her brother...

***

They changed into school robes and were at Hogsmead station before they knew it. Hermione was glad to hear Hagrid’s booming voice over all the voices. Following the prefects, resisting the urge to help them in their duties she went to say hello to the half-giant. It was then that she saw. Dimly she recognized what it must have been for Harry the previous year to see the creatures, without knowing what it meant.

Thoughts were reeling in her mind, the most prominent being ‘I didn’t see death, this can’t be happening’ Ginny was shaking her, concerned, until she looked in the same direction, and her whole body stiffened. Then she heard Ron yell: “Bloody Hell!”

Hermione, momentarily forgot the frightening sight, turned and reprimanded Ron for using that language in front of first years.

Hagrid and Harry looked at them funnily, and then Ron said out loud: “But we didn’t see anybody die, did we?”

Understanding downed on Harry’s face, soon to be replaced by worry. Luna came standing next to them: “No... But you did see *death*...”

Hermione was trying to get her mind around it, when suddenly it clicked: “The veil, it was Death?”

Luna nodded solemnly. “But we would’ve seen them at the end of last year, when we were brought to the station?”

Hagrid answered: “I dunno wha’ ye kids are talkin’ ‘bout, (an: I’m sorry, but I can’t write ‘hagrid’, forgive me) but the Thestrals gave me some trouble for the carriages then, they weren’t happy with me abandoning them. Anyway, since there weren’t enough tame ones at the time, the carriages were pulled by magic from the castle to Hogsmead station. All right, if it’s the same to you, I’m going to escort these across the water. On you go! First years, over here!”

On the way to the castle Hermione had lots to think about. She wasn’t regretting taking on all these courses, she would need them to occupy her mind away from distractions. In the span of 24 hours, a lot of little things had happened, that had made her thoroughly confused. Barely paying attention to the Sorting, which was very unusual for her, and almost missing the announcement for new Defence against Dark Arts teacher, she was milling events over in her mind.

First she’d learned Ron and Harry had concealed a secret space in the Grimmauld Place from her. Then she’d learned Harry had a flying motorcycle, and though she didn’t know how he’d gotten it, she placed all her bets on Sirius. Harry, her best friend, scrawny and mostly shy about his looks, could be quite sexy. Viktor had gotten engaged, without even the shortest owl to inform her. Cho practically accused her of stealing Harry, and articles were again being printed on her alleged relationship with him. Parkinson had insinuated Ron, of all people!, had a crush on her. She had used foul language, speaking to Malfoy. To top everything else, she’d seen *Death* and consequently could now see Thestrals...

But the announcement of the Dark Arts teacher, or should she say teachers, did recapture her attention. So that was why they were both ‘missing’ at Grimmauld Place during the daytime yesterday; Hermione half believed they had snuck out together for some privacy, but they must have been preparing their stay at Hogwarts.

In a clear voice Dumbledore announced: “I have the pleasure to reintroduce to you all, Professor Lupin, and introduce to you an excellent Auror, Professor Tonks. They will be your Defence against the Dark Arts teachers this year. Professor Tonks is also here on the authority of the Ministry to ensure our safety. As you all know, Voldemort has been back for some time now, and we must prepare for dark times, indeed. We must bear in mind that by uniting our efforts against the dark we will stand strong. May you all have the wisdom and courage to do what is right...”

***

Chap 14 Settling back at Hogwarts

Hermione didn’t get much sleep last night, after all she’d had to think about before being able to set her mind to rest... Today was the first day of lessons, and she loved those, so regardless of the lack of sleep she was very good-humoured when she got down for breakfast. This happy feeling soon got crushed when mail came. Ginny got her Witch Weekly and she remembered what was soon to be the talk of the day.

Hermione was, of course, right, and no sooner had Ginny found the article or people were already looking at her from the corner of their eye. Cho seemed awfully happy, not like the depressed wrack she had been the year before. Ginny was looking at her with concern, but Hermione was determined not to let anything bring her down. First lesson would be Potions, so dragging Harry, she fled to the dungeons.

They were early and she persuaded Harry to sit at front with her. Classes were now containing students from all houses, since it was now possible to do so without obtaining groups of too many students. To her horror, Hermione saw Malfoy enter with Parkinson, wearing identical smirks and the magazine Hermione was trying to escape. Since it was still early, there was no hope to expect Snape, so she steeled herself to show no emotion during what would come next.

“Well, well, they really do allow anyone to follow privileged courses. The Bookworm and Scarface. Say, didn’t you suck at Potions? Or did you just go cry and begged the Headmaster to let you take this class. Didn’t he want to upset his little hero?”

If anything, you could say Malfoy was on a roll...

“My dear, dear Draco, didn’t you hear?” Pansy was almost killing herself trying to play the little charade coolly: “Well, I suppose if you want to be the Bookworm’s little slave, you’d have to do well in your studies. That’s probably why Scarface took all those extra lessons with Snape last year”

Both were almost cackling with laughter. Harry tried to catch her gaze but she was purposely avoiding that.

“*What* are you on about?” Harry asked the two Slytherins.

Malfoy was the first to recover from the cackling. With a mock gasp he exclaimed: “Oh, could this be? Pansy, dear, would you do the honours please?”

While Pansy read the same article she had already been submitted to on the train, when the rest of the class entered. Ernie MacMillan and Susan Bones from Hufflepuff, Padma Patil, Anthony Goldstein and Terry Boot from Ravenclaw had all been members from the DA last year, but were eagerly listening, too. The last to enter the class was Theodore Nott, also from Slytherin.

Hermione knew that Theodore’s uncle had been one of the captured Death Eaters at the Ministry last year, what she didn’t know was his opinion on the matter. He might be a Slytherin, but not all are bad... Once Harry had heard what the article had primarily been about he’d snuck a quick concerned glance at Hermione, but when he saw her blank expression, he looked straight out and followed her example.

When they got to the part where they accused Hermione, again, of somehow playing him and having him under a spell, she felt the anger coming off of him in waves. Luckily their taunters hadn’t time to make remarks after reading the article, because Snape had just entered the room.

He really can be quite the drama queen, with his billowing robes and dark glare, expecting everyone to fall silent in awe for him when he walsed into a room. Looking threateningly at everybody but his Slytherin prodigies, and ignoring Harry, Snape waited for everyone to be seated before he made his welcome’s speech...

“You are all privileged to have been accepted into this course, and I will see to it that you will not take this for granted. These next couple of months you will be presented with difficult brewing processes. I will warn you now, if this seems hard to you, you should quit then, because as soon I have finished trying to teach you, Flobberworms, these processes, you will be presented with the challenge of brewing potions worth brewing...”

For the first time Snape eyed Harry angrily, and continued in extreme annoyance: “Some of you will not make it to next year, even fewer will get a passing grade for your NEWT, make no mistake about it...”

Hermione could feel the anger coming of Harry increasing, and she prayed Harry wouldn’t do anything stupid. Desperate for trying to make him look at her and calm him down, she didn’t dare move her hands but tried to step on his toes softly to make him aware of what he could risk, should he loose his temper. It seemed to work a bit, but Snape was now the one getting extremely agitated by the lack of response he got from Harry.

“Mr. Potter, and you will look up when addressed to! Five points from Gryffindor for not showing proper respect to your teacher! You especially will note that you are on probation. Exams this year will determine if you are allowed to continue this course next year. I will tell you now that I have no illusions whatsoever of you succeeding in this feat. If you walk out of this class now, you will spare yourself the false hope of ever achieving anything in here”

Something happened that would’ve made Hermione fall of her chair, would she have had the inclination to move. Harry stayed calm and answered without malice, or detectable forced politeness: “Thank you Professor, but that won’t be necessary. I’m grateful for your concern, but I think I’ll take my chances”

Hermione saw Snape itch to take off points for impertinence, but even Snape could not deny the perfect civility of Harry’s tone. She saw with satisfaction the disappointed faces of Malfoy and Parkinson, who’d been eagerly waiting for Snape to do something utterly humiliating to Harry, but now saw that they wouldn’t get their greatest wish granted.

The rest of the lessons progressed relatively uneventful, with Snape lecturing mostly, and ignoring Harry. He didn’t do her the same favour however. Every time she raised her hand to answer one of his questions, he let her talk, instead of waiting for someone else to lift their hand. However, no answer of hers was good enough, and Hermione was getting the impression he was either trying to discourage her from putting her hand up in the atmosphere, or he was trying to get a rise out of Harry by doubling his efforts on degrading her.

His treatment, however, just made Hermione more determined to perfect her answers, and though she felt Harry gradually build up his anger again, he kept quiet for the entirety of the lesson. When the double period had finally ended, her wrist was slightly aching from writing down notes all the time. They hadn’t done even a little bit of brewing...

Escaping the questions of friends, and taunts from enemies about the blasted article, Harry and Hermione went to the Tower to find Ron. On their way Hermione talked a mile an hour about how he’d held his temper in for Snape, and how proud she was...

Their mutual friend had taken the liberty of sleeping in, and was now ready to go to Charms with them. Unfortunately Ron had heard about the article from Parvati, and was waiting for her.

“There you are! What’s all this about Krum, then? Patil came to me for some ‘inside information’. I thought we were your friends, why didn’t you tell us about it?”

Ron was red in the face and gesticulating wildly, scaring a couple of first year Hufflepuffs on their way to class.

“Ron! You’re a prefect, for Heaven’s sake try to act like one! Honestly! And I didn’t tell you anything because there was nothing to be told”

“Nothing to be told? Do you hear that Harry? She recons there was nothing to be told? You were dumped by the stupid git, of course we had to know, we have to...”

“What? Go down to Bulgaria to kick his bum?” Hermione said sarcastically.

“Exactly!”

Hermione looked at her red-faced best friend sceptically. Really, he could be so barbaric sometimes.

Harry intervened: “I think what Ron’s trying to say, is that you could’ve told us, we would’ve, well, been there for you, or something...”

Hermione rolled her eyes: “He didn’t dump me, ok?”

Hoping against all odds that it was going to stay at that, she walked into the Charms classroom and took her usual seat. The room was more packed then the dungeon had been, but she didn’t mind.

“What do you mean he didn’t dump you” At least Ron had the decency to keep his voice low, as to not cause a scene, yet... “Did you dump him?” he asked almost gleeful.

Hermione just shook her head. Ron was visibly confused and asked, disgusted: “You mean you’re still dating him now that he’s engaged?”

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous Ron!”

“But...” Ron was stopped from asking questions with the entrance of Professor Flitwick.

Any hope Hermione had at the end of the class of Ron having forgotten what had been discussed, or at least gotten the hint that she wasn’t willing to talk about it, flew out of the window the second Flitwick dismissed the class.

“What’s going on then, Hermione? What’s up between you and Krum then? Is his engagement a lie?”

Hermione had enough of it: “Look, I don’t know if it’s a lie. And the reason we didn’t break up is because we were never together in the first place. I don’t *know* why nobody believed me when I said Viktor was a pen friend, why everyone believes I played Harry and him, and why you think it’s all that important! What I do know, is if you pester me about it one more time, you’ll be throwing up a lot worse then slugs!!!”

With that she turned on her heels and stomped off for lunch. She sat next to Ginny, and was grateful for the younger girl’s help in discouraging people to come up to her and ask about the article. She tried her best to ignore the stares and eat as fast as possible so she could go to the library to start some research for the Potions essay...

***

In the afternoon she’d had Arithmency and History of Magic, and she’d spend the rest of her free time in the library, finishing her Potions essay and a bit of her History research. She was totally knackered when she came down for dinner, that she barely noticed Ron was sulking.

In the common room, she’d managed to ignore the tendencies of a prefect when she saw third years goofing around, and had perfected her Charms assignment, and already solved half of her Arithmency problems when she gave it a rest. She went to bed early that night, but knew Ginny was going to come by to discuss the Krum thing, so she knew she wouldn’t be granted sleep for a while.

True, Ginny came up for the facts when she was preparing herself to go to sleep. Hermione couldn’t tell her a lot, because she hadn’t heard from Krum since the last time, and after Ginny declared him a pompous ass, Hermione shooed the younger girl from her room. She closed the curtains around her bed, to ensure her roommates wouldn’t bother her, and fell asleep at last.

***

The rest of the first weeks passed and the rumour-mill had found other subjects to occupy themselves with. Ron and her were still snappish at each other, but then again, they always kind of were. Hermione observed Ginny and Harry were actually good at being prefects, and Ron didn’t seem to need her nagging anymore to get into action.

She was still waiting to hear an official announcement from Dumbledore for the DA club, but hadn’t time to worry about it. In Herbology, Ron and her had teamed with Neville and gotten along reasonably well, considering the ‘row’ they were in. Defence against the Dark Arts had been brilliant, especially since Malfoy didn’t take the course.

Professor Lupin had always been one of her favourite teachers, and they found out Tonks was only going to teach the times he would be sick from his transformation. Besides Tonks had to spend a lot of time at the Ministry also, playing messenger for Dumbledore and Madam Bones... Hermione had been looking forward to completing her Wolfsbane Potion herself now that Remus was at Hogwarts, and she had been glowing with pride when she gave the steaming cup to her professor...

At the same time as announcing the Quidditch try-outs, Dumbledore explained the function of the DA duelling club. Tonks was to supervise the meetings, but Harry would be the one leading it. Hermione knew they’d been preparing those, but she hadn’t found the time yet to help also. The morning after Dumbledore’s announcement the Daily Prophet was full of the news about the escape of the Death Eaters.

Hermione was horrified, but noticed Harry didn’t seem all that concerned, like he knew it would be happening, and was now faking his astonishment and indignation. Something snapped in Hermione and she dragged Harry with her to the Tower, Ron following with a determined expression.

“Harry, are you going to tell us what’s going on? I know you know something. Weren’t they hidden, were we betrayed by someone in the order, or did something happened? Oh my, this means Dolohov and the rest are out there somewhere...”

“Look, Hermione, I don’t know...”

“Bullocks, you’re just not telling us!” Ron was frustrated, too. “You’ve never hidden anything this big from us before! And I know you know, you’re a terrible liar, Harry. You’re getting better, but you can’t lie to us, you know. We can tell”

Harry looked at them pleadingly, knowing Ron was right: “Then you know why I can’t tell you this, believe me I want to, but I can’t”

The friends stood there in front of the fire, silent and troubled. Suddenly it occurred to Hermione that she had Ancient Runes in less then five minutes. Flying past a startled Ginny she quickly scrambled her books together and went off in a run, ignoring Ginny’s teasing, “No running in the corridors, now, Miss Granger!”

***

Chap 15 Legilimency equals bad

Harry never said a word about the confrontation when Ron and her had told him they knew he was hiding something, and Hermione had no choice as to let it slide. She supposed there was a good reason Harry was permitted knowledge of secret information, even if he didn’t have the age of being accepted into the Order. Though she rationalised that she wasn’t to know secrets of the order, she still felt thoroughly out of the loop.

She abused her pass for the Restricted Section Hagrid had given her for research on some extinct magical Beasts, for research on Legilimency. Her hope wasn’t to extract the information out of anyone’s head, certainly not Dumbledore’s or Harry’s. If Voldemort couldn’t penetrate their minds, who was she to try. But she wanted to learn about Occlumency. It was the only certain reason Hermione had mustered up for Harry to be entrusted with Order-secrets. Maybe if she mastered it, she would be trusted, too.

She was working on the Wolfsbane potion alongside Harry in one of the dungeon-rooms, when reflecting on this. She’d had to obtain Dumbledore’s help. Maybe she should volunteer herself. She’d read, that to become a sure master of Occlumency, a bit of Legilimency couldn’t hurt.

So if she convinced Dumbledore of letting Harry practising that on her, she could learn Occlumency at the same time... And then maybe, he’d be permitted to tell her the secrets, also. And then Ron would have to study it too, of course...

Lost in excited thoughts she jumped, and consequently blotched up her carefully made basis of the potion, when she heard Dumbledore behind her. Where on earth had he come from?

“You are expected to come with Harry to his Occlumency lesson this evening, Miss Granger. I have matters to discuss with you”

With that he left. Since when had Dumbledore gotten so creepy? Turning to Harry she saw him looking as puzzled as she felt. So he didn’t know everything that went on in the Headmaster’s head...

Hurrying to her Saturday morning lesson with Hagrid she left the bad patch for Harry to get rid of.

***

DA was from now on to be held every Saturday afternoon in an unused class room, half the size of the Great Hall. There weren’t required memberships or anything like that, everyone could come to hear some tips about defences in tight situations. Snape had wanted to meddle and teach them the rules of a proper duel, the only answer he’d gotten out of Harry was: “the bad guys don’t play by the rules”.

It soon was apparent that the bunch was too large for Harry to handle them alone. So after a short speech, he’d called forth the students that were a member of the DA club last year, and hadn’t graduated, to help him. Dividing the students by year, he’d assigned every group an old DA member with a specific task. Since they now had a proper professor teaching the basics, they concentrated on more inventive spells, or more difficult ones for the older students.

Harry, to Hermione’s pride, had planned a lot of the lessons already, and knew what he was doing. Tonks was walking from group to group, correcting mistakes, and giving advice. The noticeable absence of any Slytherin student was ignored anyway, but Hermione couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, alongside the relief of not having to deal with their crap.

Harry had assigned Ginny, Neville and Hermione to deal with first years. Luna, Dean and Susan were working with second years; Hannah, Dennis and Padma with third years; Michael, Colin and Justin with fourth years; Seamus, Lavender, and Anthony with fifth years; Ernie, Parvati and Terry with sixth years; Zacharias, Cho and Katie with the seventh years.

Ron was accompanying Harry on his rounds, when he wanted to demonstrate something. This led to a lot of duelling between the two friends. The fourth until seventh years were immediately launched in learning the Patronus Charm, alongside other defensive spells that weren’t covered in the Defence against Dark Arts class.

With the Dementors on the loose, it was imperative to have as much possible defence against them. After no time she had gone through a few very easy defensive spells with her surprisingly good group of first years; they were of course Ravenclaws... As a treat she let them ask her questions on what they’d learned.

Pondering on how she had been that young when they’d gone after the Philosopher’s stone, she let an enthusiastic red haired boy ask the first question.

“Is it true you’ve had a lot of adventures saving the world with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley?” His classmates groaned and rolled their eyes. “What, it’s a vallid question! If we’re supposed to learn how to defend ourselves, we have to know what we’re up against!”

A haughty blond girl snapped at him: “We just did learn how to defend ourselves, doofus!” Hermione smiled, yep, it had been a good thing Harry assigned her to the first years today, they were full of innocent bravery of fighting the good fight, and blind to the reality.

“If I may, Miss Frankiel, answer Mr. Langhdod’s question. What you’ve learned today will maybe helping you in an actual battle, maybe not, not unless you know how to use your knowledge. You see, Miss Frankiel, there was once a girl of your age here at Hogwarts, who knew everything about trolls, and I do mean everything. She’d read all about them, and memorised all that information. Then one day, she got locked up in a room with one, just one troll...”

She revelled in seeing the kids actually listen to her. Somehow she could relate to those better then she could with Harry and Ron; if she even could get half of that attention from them when she was lecturing them...

“She didn’t know what to do, but try and hide. For you see, even with all her knowledge she didn’t know how to fight the troll on her own. The tactics described in books, mostly were about more then one wizard, and the spells used were too advanced for her even to try. But the biggest problem of all is the fear...”

Now they were really in suspense.

“You know the feeling when you’re so afraid, you can’t think straight, one second you’re thinking too much thoughts at once, the other your brain just shuts down?”

A few nodded, others just kept waiting for her to continue.

“Well, the girl just screamed and tried to escape the club the troll was swinging at her. And she thought herself lost, because she couldn’t find a way to save herself...”

Langhdod couldn’t handle the stalling: “Did she die?”

Hermione smiled: “Do I look dead to you? No Harry and Ron came in and saved me. Do you want to know how they did it?” A lot of them nodded vigorously. “With a simple levitation spell”

“No way!”

“How would a first year be able to levitate a whole troll?”

“Impossible!”

Hermione asked for quiet. “Well, they knew not that much about trolls, and they knew about the same spells you do now, because this happened at Halloween. You’re about to see Wingardium Leviosa with Professor Flitwick, aren’t you?” Again nods.

“Well, first they came in and tried to confuse and distract him away from me. When that didn’t help much, and the troll attacked me again, Harry just jumped up on its back, and somehow trusted his wand into the troll’s nose...”

“Ewww...”

“That of course had the troll taking out his anger on him. So Ron tried the levitating charm, with my guidance, and the troll’s club flew up into the air until it floated above its head. Then he released the charm and the troll got knocked out cold with his own club”

“Wow”

“That’s lame”

“Tell us another story!”

“Been telling them stories, why don’t you do that for us?”

Ron’s voice behind her startled her. Frowning she tried to tell him off with just her gaze. Harry came to stand next to Ron:

“Hermione, you do realise this is a duelling club, not a place where you can lecture defenceless students,” his tone was teasing, but she resented it anyway.

“I’m well aware of that, and since we were finished with your assignment I let them ask questions about it. That’s when it seemed important to me to let them know it wasn’t all about knowing the spells, but knowing how to use them to your advantage. So, yes I told them about the troll being defeated by a first year with the levitation charm...”

Ron seemed to grow a little under the indirect praise Hermione was giving him. “It was of course, like Professor McGonagall said that night, sheer dumb luck, but than again, it makes you wonder what other innocent spells could be used as defence or even offence”

Harry was giving her a look of understanding and respect; addressing the group: “So there’re no problems here? You’re all capable of casting the spells I asked you to learn? Let’s see then”

When Harry was satisfied, he asked for questions too.

This time it was Miss Frankiel who got the first: “What are all the older students learning? The spell with the bits of smoke coming out of it? I heard it’s a very important spell! And when can we learn that?”

“That’s the Patronus charm, and it’s a very hard spell, most adult wizards can’t even really perform it, so I won’t be expecting it from you”

Miss Frankiel was not satisfied with the answer: “Isn’t that the only charm who is supposed to work against Dementors? Why shouldn’t we try to learn it, with Dementors not safely at Azkaban? We should be taught!”

Harry grinned: “Well, Miss Frankiel, if you insist... Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. Whenever you come to this club, you finish the assignment I give you, and then you’re free to try the charm out. But it’s very hard, and I’ll let Miss Granger lecture you about just how hard it is, ok?”

By the end of the time granted to the DA, Hermione was glad they had permitted first years to participate also. Even if it was true that they didn’t have much of a basis to start from, their Defence against Dark Arts limited itself pretty much to spells against minor dark creatures, they were eager to learn, and had a right to. Of course neither of them had even managed a wisp of smoke with their Patronus Charm, but they were stubbornly hanging on.

***

She had almost forgotten that after dinner she was supposed to accompany Harry to Dumbledore. So full of satisfaction at having taught something useful she barely touched her food. Ron had asked her why she was to go to Dumbledore, but she couldn’t very well answer what she didn’t know herself. She was in such deep thought walking next to Harry that she didn’t even notice they’d already passed the gargoyle in front of Headmaster’s office.

“Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, happy to see you’ve made it. Miss Granger, I suppose you’d like to know why I called you here,” upon seeing her nod, he continued with that damn twinkle in his eyes, “As I understand it, Hogwarts: a History, is one of your favourite readings... Tell me Miss Granger, have you not read the revised edition?”

When he saw her confusion, the tiniest of smiles curled around his lips: “Ah, so you are not aware of the charms around the Restricted Section of our library?”

Letting this sink in, Hermione paled. They had put up wards that functioned as silent alarms, how could she have been so stupid as to forget that it didn’t matter any more if you had a pass or not... As long as you didn’t have permission to view other books then the ones on your permission slip, the wards tipped off the Headmaster! Oh, she was in some serious trouble now...

Shaking slightly she looked at the old professor, his eyes were still merrily twinkling; how could he be so chipper when he was about to throw her out?

“I’m not going to expel you Miss Granger, however I cannot let this one slide without proper punishment, as an activation of those wards will be reported to the governors of this school, and I have to explain how I handled the situation. And if I do understand it, you could be of some help in this case...”

Harry was now looking totally lost about the actual topic of conversation, and Hermione was too mortified to think straight.

“For you see, Harry, when your friend was determined to help you with your Occlumency lessons, she provided us with the perfect excuse to explain her absences: detentions. I have told you that in order to perfect your skills, you should practise some basic Legilimency, and practising on me will not be very fruitful. Miss Granger, in her quest to expand her knowledge of what we were doing during our private lessons, abused her Care of Magical Creatures pass for the Restricted Section to look up texts about Legilimency and Occlumency. Fortunately, the wards will not automatically report to the governors just what books you have been reading, Miss Granger, so I have arranged for the report to state that you went a little too far in your quest about Dangerous Beasts. You will understand that this lie is crucial, since it would be highly suspicious if it came out just *which* books you really were reading...”

Hermione saw Harry looking incredulous at her out of the corner of his eye. She felt so stupid and humiliated; how could she have let this happen?

Dumbledore continued merrily: “So, Miss Granger, how would you feel to be a test subject for Harry’s start in Legilimency?”

It wasn’t like Hermione could refuse, even if she originally did want to ask Dumbledore just that, she would’ve liked it to be on her terms. Now there was no mention about her learning Occlumency, and she hadn’t time to prepare for the fact that Harry was going to see inside her mind, her most private part. She felt naked and scared, but nodded anyway.

“Splendid, Harry, you know the spell, do try...”

Harry looked unsure: “But, professor Dumbledore, shouldn’t Hermione know... I mean, she’s defenceless, isn’t that a bit harsh for a punishment?”

Twinkle-twinkle: “Are you so sure you’ll succeed the spell on your first try Harry? And I do believe every mind has some natural defences you’ll have to breach. I do not think Miss Granger will need to know Occlumency just yet”

Harry looked at Hermione like he’d rather run out of there as soon as possible. She didn’t blame him, it was one thing to know your best friend well, but looking in his or her mind... Hesitantly he brought up his wand and shouted “Legilimens!”

Hermione, suppressing her nervousness, saw the spell coming and tried to rid her mind of all thoughts. Feeling like a slight prodding in her brain, like what she felt when something was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite recall it, she pushed it away effortlessly. The prodding increased a bit, before disappearing completely.

Opening her eyes she looked at Harry accusingly: “You didn’t even try! You have to will memories out of my mind! Try again!”

In her passion for perfection, Hermione had totally forgotten Dumbledore was in the room, and was fuming at the way Harry was taking it easy on her. Not realising that by giving her annoyance free range, she was letting her guard down, Harry struck her again.

This time she didn’t see the curse coming and it seared through her mind, snapshots of memories flashed through her mind, too rapidly to recognise the scenes... She was unable to do anything to stop the assault. When Harry lifted the curse she was on hands and knees on the floor. Dimly she registered Harry talking to Dumbledore, while he helped her up.

“I didn’t catch anything, it was too fast”

“You have to concentrate on seeing what she doesn’t want you to see. And force the information to slow down when it reaches your mind”

Standing again, she saw Harry looking at her concernedly: “Are you all right?”

Nodding and clenching her teeth she refused to let on to the massive headache she felt coming on.

Determined to put up more of a fight this time, she concentrated. But that didn’t seem the right course of action. The more she concentrated on pushing away thoughts, the more she obtained the opposite. Harry struck her again, and again she was unable to block him. The flashes slowed down a bit and she started to recognize the scenes. Hoping against all hope that they would still be too fast for Harry to understand she tried to force him out.

*Flash, flash*

... She was back at the yard of her elementary school, surrounded by the girls of her class. One of the rare occasions they’d succeeded to corner her without a teacher in sight. They were tearing leaf after leaf from her favourite copy of Great Expectations, making cruel remarks ...

*Flash, flash *

... Her first week at Hogwarts, getting cornered in the girl’s bathroom by Parkinson and Bullstrode. They were making fun of her hair and buckteeth, telling her she was unworthy of studying magic ...

*Flash *

... Ron and Harry laughing about her not having any friends, after the memorable Charms lesson, when they’d studied Wingardium Leviosa ...

*Flash*

... Ron and Harry when they saw she had turned herself into a human-cat after the Polyjuice adventure ...

*Flash*

... Ron when he screamed at her that Crookshanks had eaten Scabbers ...

... Harry looking at her in contempt when he learned she had ratted him out about the Firebolt ...

*Flash, flash*

... Snape saying he saw no difference when her front teeth had been hit by Malfoy’s enlargement charm ...

*Stop*

... Ron at the Yule Ball when he embarrassed her by saying she was betraying Harry by going out with Krum, the enemy ...

*Please, stop*

... Cho and her friends on the train ...

*No!*

Before she could loose herself completely, because she had no control on stopping him from seeing further, the assault stopped. She was again on her hands and knees, with no memory on how she got there. She was trembling and panting heavily. With awareness came the headache full force.

She felt like she was holding on but barely. She felt Harry’s arms come around her and ask her if she was ok. The last thought that made it into her mind was: ‘I should’ve eaten more at dinner’, before giving in to the exhaustion she felt.

***

Chap 16 Quidditch! Totally forgotten

Warm and comfortable, Hermione dimly registered voices penetrating her fuzzy mind.

“So that’s like her punishment? But isn’t that like rewarding her, too? Knowing Hermione she was dying to get to learn Occlumency...”

“But that’s just it, for now she isn’t really learning it, I mean, you *could* consider it like Snape’s technique, but at least Snape knew what he was doing, well, sort of. I’m afraid I’m going to really hurt her. I have no idea why Dumbledore let me do this...”

“Well, you have to do it on someone, and not to be harsh or something but I’d rather have it be Hermione then me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to see her hurt either, but didn’t Dumbledore say she wanted to, anyway? And he wouldn’t let you do this to her if there was a possibility she’d get hurt”

“Yeah, but I don’t think she bargained the collapsing thing. Maybe I should go easier on her next time, but she got really mad when she realised I was going soft on her... I just don’t want her to get hurt, but if I do something about it, she gets all prissy and offended”

“Girls, I’ll never understand them. So, you saw inside her head, then? Any interesting ‘inside-information’?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m any good already, but I did see some things, most of the things were even about you and me, and it’s really weird to see those things from her point of view, especially when you get her feelings transferred, too”

“Blimey, getting a girl’s feelings transferred to you? Freaky... Hey, maybe you’ll get to understand girls after all this! You could write the rest of us a guide into the inner-workings of a girl’s mind!”

“Well, it’s not like Hermione’s really like other girls, now is she?”

Hermione cleared her throat: “I heard that”

Ron almost squealed like a girl, he was that startled: “Bloody hell, Hermione. How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to know that you the two of you are as bad as Lavender and Parvati” Pushing the blanket that covered her away she sat up; they were in the empty Gryffindor common room, in the couch in front of the fire.

“What! You better be joking! We were discussing what happened in Dumbledore’s office! We weren’t gossiping!”

“You just keep telling yourself that...”

“We were just worried about you!”

“Why? Because suddenly it occurred to you that I’m a girl, and as such I couldn’t possibly take care of myself as I’ve always have!”

“Yes! I mean, no! You’re just so/”

“Right, thanks but no thanks. I’m going to bed, and Harry, if I get even the tiniest feeling you’re holding back, you won’t be able to sit properly on your broom, ever!”

Hermione stomped up to her dormitory, she didn’t know why they suddenly fussed over her. She was the one who worried about them, not the other way around! Ok, maybe on some level it was nice to have them acknowledge she was a girl, at least it would’ve been nice if they’d thought of that like... before the Yule Ball or something. But that didn’t mean she was defenceless! She’d always liked the way they treated her differently from other girls, accepted her more or less, despite the fact that she came over bossy and maybe to some a little unfeminine...

***

The rest of the week went by uneventfully. The classes she had with the Slytherins still tried to pester her about anything and everything, but she’d gotten so used to it, that she was starting to feel that if they’d ever stop, she’d go ahead and miss their taunts... Malfoy seemed to be reloaded since the news of the outbreak reached the world, and was on Harry’s back constantly. Though none other incident on the Voldemort-front seemed to take place. Everyday the Prophet was brought to her she tried to stay calm and every time she was relieved nothing had happened, for now.

The news that Hermione had to serve one detention every week for the rest of the year, because she’d ‘accidentally’ read a book too many from the Restricted Section had made it through Hogwarts faster then you could say ‘Busted!’. Hermione just thought it was a nice change from the speculation about her love life.

Eventually she’d gotten a reply from Viktor, a month after the article, stating he had appreciated her friendship, but with the oncoming wedding he didn’t feel it appropriate to have a female friend, in other words it was an Adieu-letter. She’d written a congratulations card for his engagement, and forced herself to forget about it.

After another week of non-stop studying and homework, Saturday came around, and with that the new DA meeting. Harry had put all old DA-members with a group containing students from a year lower then the previous week, except of course Hermione, Ginny and Neville who had the seventh years.

Hermione was again assigned to the Ravenclaws, but the contrast was marking. They tried to snub her, but then again, they didn’t know Hermione. After they made it clear they thought Cho was a better teacher, because she was able to perform a corporal patronus, Hermione showed them her otter. Grudgingly they got to work. Harry had promised that next week, the ones that were deemed ready, would actually get to duel.

Cho had been avoiding her since the incident in the train, and Hermione didn’t know just how much Harry had seen from her mind about that, and if he’d said anything to Cho about it. She didn’t even know if they still talked... What she did know was that she looked a lot less smug after today’s meeting, as if she had found it a special sign that Harry had let Hermione work with the first years and she with the seventh years. But was now realising that Harry hadn’t meant with it, what she thought it had meant.

Hermione was starting to feel sorry for the girl. She hadn’t been made Head Girl, even if two years back it had looked like she would be the only one in her year for the job; she’d resigned from her Quidditch team, before they could kick her out, Roger Davies had graduated, Michael avoided her like the plague and it didn’t seem any Gryffindor, nor Ravanclaw wanted to date her anymore. Ravenclaws because she’d rejected Roger in favour of Harry in the first place, and because she’d only used Michael Corner to make Harry jealous. Gryffindors, because they believed she’d stolen Michael from Ginny, and that she’d cheated on Harry...

Of course this was only said about her behind her back, because she still was one of the most popular girls in school, and they very well couldn’t tell her all that in her pretty face now could they? Hermione shuddered at the idea of having so many false friends, and so many shallow intrigues ruling your life... She wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not that she didn’t have her own rumours about an in reality non-existent love life, but at least no one that mattered was being nice to her face, and spreading venom behind her back. At least that’s what she hoped.

This time at dinner, she saw to it that she ate enough, but not too much, because she didn’t fancy meeting her dinner again... Dumbledore let them practise alone in his office, claiming important matters to be the reason of his absence. He warned Harry to continue closing his mind to everything but the information that came from Hermione’s. He’d also given the assignment to start trying with a more specific search.

Hermione had had all week to prepare herself for this, and she’d been habituated at clearing her mind before she went to bed for years now. Honestly, how did they think she could sleep all these years worrying about Harry, without having some skill in putting it all aside? So this time instead of clenching all her muscles and being on the defensive, she tried to relax, like she did before she went to sleep.

It did seem to help, and in more ways then one. Though she couldn’t block Harry’s assault, he couldn’t make heads nor tails from all the flashes her mind gave up in rapid succession. He couldn’t control and manipulate his attack like he had been able to the time before. Another nice effect, was that without physically resisting the attack, she didn’t have an enormous headache afterwards.

Harry stayed to wait for Dumbledore’s return, when it was time for her to leave. She managed to get to the Tower, exhausted nonetheless. At least she’d stayed conscious this time. In the empty common room Dobby was waiting for her with a cup of hot chocolate. Grateful for the attention, Hermione thanked him.

“No need to thank me, Miss, Harry Potter told me to bring you this, Miss. Thank Harry Potter, Miss” Dobby seemed to realise something: “Dobby should not have said that, Harry Potter did not give him permission to...” Before Dobby could physically harm himself, Hermione had grabbed him by the neck.

“It’s alright Dobby, I’m sure Harry won’t mind, and he wouldn’t want you to punish yourself, now would he? Tell me, how’s Winky doing?”

Her distraction seemed to work, because the Elf forgot about punishing himself and was very excited: “Well, Winky is doing just fine, Miss. The big professor found her a new family, Miss, and they treat her very good, Miss, and she was so happy, Miss” With a sad expression he continued: “She is still not happy with being paid, Miss, and Dobby is sad about that, Miss. But Dobby has forgotten to thank the Miss! It was Miss who gave Dobby all his hats! Oh, now Dobby is very grateful to Miss. Dobby must do something in return for Miss...”

“Just bring her a hot chocolate every Saturday night, Dobby... That will be more than enough”

Harry had apparently been taking lessons from Dumbledore on how to sneak up on people...

“Harry Potter, sir, Dobby will be very happy to do that, sir. Harry Potter sir needs anything else, sir?”

Harry smiled: “That’s ok, Dobby, you’ve done more then enough”

Beaming the Elf returned from where ever he’d come from in the first place.

Harry chuckled: “Ever since Winky has been asked to go to the Grimmauld Place he’s been begging me for giving him more tasks. I guess we just didn’t appreciate the amount of time he put in concealing Winky’s condition”

Hermione answered coolly: “So the Order is her new family, what makes you think she won’t betray you like Kreacher did? If they’re going to treat her like they did Kreacher, and if someone convinces her that what she’s doing is a disgrace for her old family, why wouldn’t she betray every one...”

Harry looked at her funnily: “I thought you’d be happy for Winky? She still gets paid, and now she doesn’t spend her days drinking anymore. That’s what you wanted isn’t it? And I’m sure they treat her fine, she’s not like Kreacher...”

“No what I wanted, was making everyone aware of the great injustice of enslaving creatures! What I wanted was for wizards to realise that they treated the House-Elves very badly! What I wanted was for Elves to realise that they were enslaved, and that they could be freed, and that it wasn’t a disgrace to want all that! What I wanted was for them to fight for their rights as living beings. What I wanted was to free some of them, so that they experience that it wasn’t a bad thing, and that so, they could tell other Elves and that they’d start to rebel! What I wanted was to be notified by my *friend* when he saw me knitting like a mad woman *knowing* that only Dobby was cleaning our common room and collecting all the clothes, while *I* thought I’d set so many Elves free!”

Hermione was starting to make a habit of stomping off on the stairs to her dormitory.

***

When the next morning Ginny prodded her awake, she was dressed in her Quidditch robes. Hermione realised just how out of it she’d been this year. With all her studying she hadn’t even noticed Gryffindor was playing their first game of the year this weekend. How could she have missed that, it must have been all Ginny, Ron and Harry talked about. Realising that this school year she had perfected her ability of tuning out conversation of Quidditch or any other subject that didn’t involve Voldemort or studying, she hurried to prepare herself.

Ron must be so nervous, it was his first game as captain. She knew Harry had been given his Seeker position back, and Ginny had been granted her wish in becoming a Chaser with Katie. But she had no idea who the third Chaser would be, and if the Beaters had been the same as the ones from last year. She hoped not, and even if they were, she hoped they’d improved a lot since.

When she got downstairs she was shocked to realise Dennis Creevy was wearing Quidditch robes. When had that happened? She was even more shocked when she learned he was a Beater. Andrew Kirke, one of the Beaters from last year, had resigned, and the frail Creevy junior had taken his place. Slytherins were already laughing their asses off. It seemed they’d concealed Dennis had made the team, how they had managed that, she didn’t know, but the Slytherins were having a grand time in discovering who the ‘big secret weapon’ had been. Gryffindor was chanting ‘Weasley is our king’, every time the Slytherins tried to pester Dennis.

Ron seemed nervous but not in the way he’d been last year. It was more of a determined kind of nervous, then a scared kind... Resolve was written all over his face when he was eating his breakfast slowly, the team was just about to leave the table for a last minute pep talk, when Hermione had entered the Great Hall. When they passed her, she offered her support and good luck.

Ron absentmindedly thanked her, and Ginny smiled brightly at her. Harry looked at her in surprise. Annoyed he said: “Good to know you’re not angry anymore...” and now it was him who stomped off.

She felt guilty; Harry had enough on his mind without her adding to it. He was supposed to clear his mind before going to bed, and she’d left him in the common room last night without giving him a chance to respond. He seemed tired, and she hated to believe that even part of it would be her fault.

With a jolt she realised it was against Ravenclaw they were playing. Their team was one of the most skilled at Hogwarts, she couldn’t tell who’d be their new Seeker, but she knew this was going to be a real test of Ron’s ability of captain.

Packing some food in a napkin, she went off to the pitch in order to have a good cheering spot. It wasn’t because she didn’t like *talking* and *hearing* about Quidditch, that she didn’t enjoy watching the matches...

It was already quite cold, and she rapped her scarf tightly around her. Looking at the field, she waited patiently for the game to start. Suddenly she realised that she hadn’t brought any book with her. She forced herself to stay calm; she could study in her dormitory later, while the rest of them had their victory party, hopefully. For now she was going to concentrate solely on the game and her friends.

Starting to enjoy the fresh air and the excited bustle from students picking out a seat to watch the game, she looked at the teacher’s box. McGonagall was of course all ready there, and was speaking with Terry Boot. Realizing that Lee had indeed graduated, the Ravenclaw must be his replacement.

Finally the teams were called and the voice of Terry was naming all members. After the captains shook hands, the game started full force immediately. It was a bit weird to have a commentator partial to the Ravenclaws from now on, but for the rest it was splendid. Ron didn’t seem hesitant any more. Though he still wasn’t able to block *all* the Quaffles from going through the loop, he didn’t let it get to him like last year. The Ravenclaw Chasers were a formidable bunch.

Gryffindor’s Chasers weren’t so bad either, Katie seemed a bit out of her element, but that was to be expected, Hermione supposed; she had been playing with her two best friends for some time and now she had to adjust to two different Chasers... Ginny did well, she seemed to enjoy herself more then when she had been a Seeker. The third Seeker was a third year, Grisabella Green, she seemed good enough, but maybe a little soft. Hermione knew the girl; she wasn’t as bad as Neville at that age, but had a tendency to apologize for everything, even things that weren’t her fault.

Though Hermione wasn’t one for aggressiveness, she didn’t promote weakness either. The girl had obvious potential, she congratulated Ron for recognizing that, but if she just wouldn’t be so afraid of hurting anyone by accident... Playing against the Slytherins would finish her off, unless she learned a little bit more well, carelessness? Dennis on the other hand was violent enough. He surprised everyone with the force and precision of his Bludgers. Jack Sloper had improved since last year; at least he didn’t knock any team-mates of their brooms.

The score was in favour of the Ravenclaws, but not by much. Everything would be decided by the Seekers. Cho’s replacement was no other then Marietta Edgecombe. How the girl had gotten that position was beyond Hermione, the only reason she could see was that the girl possessed a brand new Firebolt. But it was obvious the broom couldn’t make up for the lack of skill.

Though Marietta had no memory of the DA meetings from last year, she seemed to know Hermione had been the one responsible for her facial... well, problem. Once the Slytherins made it a point to avoid contact with the other houses as much as possible, she became Cho’s ringleader in the little ‘popular-girlie-group’. Her facial curse when she’d ratted out the DA had been cured over the summer, and it seemed she had taken advantage of the situation like Hermione had two years ago with getting her teeth smaller. Marietta looked like she’d had a Muggle nose-job done...

Not that Hermione really cared about that. Especially not when she saw Marietta dive in a pantomime of Harry’s daring flying habits. Though Harry was at the other side of the pitch, he came around with so much speed, all other players stopped what they were doing to watch Harry. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ron, who had just blocked the goal, taking advantage from the lack of attention, and throwing the Quaffle to his sister. Ginny raced to the other side on her new Comet, a present for being made prefect, and surprised the Keeper several times, trying to make the score even.

In the meantime, Marietta was diving full speed to the ground, and she started to worry about the girl being able to pull back in time. She couldn’t see if Harry thought the same, but when the snitch darted off course, neither of the Seekers followed. Marietta was seconds from crashing down, and struggling to pull up her broom. It didn’t look like she was succeeding.

The crowd was looking on in horror, expecting the girl to collide with the ground any moment. In the nick of time, Harry flew by with so much force, knocking her off her broom, on his, just before her broom crashed. Terry was screaming his relief when he saw his Seeker was safe, and thanked Harry before realising Harry was of the opposite team. Swaying because Marietta was fighting to get off, Harry’s broom slowed down enough for Marietta to jump off. She ran back to her own broom, mounting it decidedly. Harry waited for her to be airborne, before he took off too, back in search for the golden snitch.

The rest of the players hadn’t even a chance to put another Quaffle through the loops, and the supporters hadn’t properly start cheering for their respective teams, before Harry was waving triumphantly with the snitch in his hand. Cheers from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff were heard, the Ravenclaws oddly silent, the Slytherins booing like always.

Ron’s song was sung again, declaring him the greatest captain Gryffindor had seen in a long time... The party was going on full swing, but even when Ginny begged her to join, Hermione could not leave the homework she had for later, and stayed in her dormitory, for the first time really sorry that she had taken on so many courses...

***

Chap 17 Ron Weasley's feelings

The next week Hermione felt thoroughly depressed. Besides the realization that her priorities had left her no room for having even a little bit of fun, was starting to weigh on her, she was on odds with Harry on top of that. They hadn’t really fought or anything, but they weren’t the merry bunch, either. Monday morning he’d asked her sarcastically if she hadn’t any of her lectures ready for him about the Quidditch match: playing the hero again, instead of going after the snitch.

It had hurt more then she’d admitted, but she hadn’t reacted to it. She didn’t know what to do about the chilly tension between them, too, and it drove her mad, being unable to solve the problem. Ginny and Ron were either oblivious to all this, or suffering without letting on. The peak had come when on Saturday night Harry had been able to succeed in entering her mind and had found out that she had been in the cave at Grimmauld Place looking at him driving the motorcycle, without informing him.

She had cracked because of the injustice of his accusation of her spying on him. It wasn’t like she had meant to discover it, she’d been dragged by Ginny, and *he* was the one that had concealed the cave from *her*! They’d quarrelled pretty badly, and she’d walked away from the Headmaster’s office, before he could see her tears.

He didn’t come after her, and she’d ignored Dobby, running straight to her room, diving in her bed where she could close the curtains and put a silencing charm around it, for a good cry. Unable to even tell herself what just the reason was behind her tears, she felt frustrated, and such a... *girl*! No boy or man would ever make her cry, and the two who had made her break that rule were coincidentally her best friends. Life sucked!

***

Hermione woke up with a head ache from crying the evening before. She didn’t know how to deal with this. She’d fought with Ron countless times, but it was just the way they were. Ron and she had such different views on life, and both were passionate defenders of those views, so it was conceivable they fought a lot. But it didn’t really hurt like when she fought with Harry, and honestly she couldn’t really recall when Harry and she had ever really fought before.

Sure, they’d had differences before, and he certainly had screamed at her before, or given her the cold shoulder, and she did slap him that one time this summer... but it had never been like this... And the worst part was that she couldn’t lay her finger on what the heart of the problem was, and neither could she figure out why it made her cry when Harry acted like Git-Ron.

Getting up and making herself presentable for the day, she went to the common room with her books. She had slept in a little longer then normal, but she was confused to see the common room empty, but for a few first and second years. Not feeling hungry, she settled herself on a chair and prepared for a day of more relaxed study.

She hadn’t been able to get far with that idea. Before she could open her first book, Ron had plopped down next to her.

“You aren’t going to spend this splendid day inside studying, instead of going to Hogsmead, are you?”

Hogsmead! It was a Hogsmead weekend! She had totally forgotten! She needed more potion supplies and some extra quills would be nice, not to mention some sweets...

She looked at her books, deciding when she would go best. If she hurried now she could catch the carriages, if not, she’d have to walk the way... The exercise would do her some good, but...

“Hermione? You wanna go to Hogsmead with me? If we go now we’ll be able to catch a carriage?”

Why did he look so nervous, they go to Hogsmead together all the time, them and Harry. “Is Harry not going?”

Ron looked a bit disappointed; Hermione was sure she was missing a clue. Besides it wasn’t that she wanted to see Harry right now, actually she was planning on trying to avoid him as much as possible today.

“Harry’s already gone, I thought you two could use a break from each other for a little while...”

Hermione looked up at that; so Ron wasn’t as clueless as he seemed... “Ok, just let me grab some money, I’ll be down in a moment” Ron smiled broadly as if he’d just done something he didn’t thought he could.

Hermione had actually a great time with Ron. Granted, Ron was one of her best friends, so it should be obvious she had a good time hanging out with him. But she’d feared they would’ve been in another of their usual fights by now. But the day had gone by marvellously. He’d been patient with her when she was doing her purchases, and she’d indulged him in going to the joke shop and wait for him to buy his stuff. She only made one mild comment on how a prefect shouldn’t do that, but didn’t want to risk an argument on that with him.

She’d seen Harry once that morning, from a distance. Seeing Harry talking with Cho Chang nearby the Shrieking Shack made her stomach twist. After the way Cho had treated her this year, she wasn’t sure she liked Harry hanging out with her, but she couldn’t very well say something about that, especially not with how things were going now with Harry and her.

Not wanting Ron to notice what she saw, for the sole reason of avoiding having to talk to him about it, she dragged him to the Three Broomsticks for butterbeers. He’d made her laugh with stories of his childhood and brothers, that were clearly exaggerated, and she *was* having fun, but couldn’t help thinking of the mountains of work waiting for her at the castle. When Ron seemed to catch her anxiety, he was disappointed and tried to make her change her mind.

“Come on, Hermione, just have a little fun! You have to relax sometimes... All that studying can’t be good?”

Hermione suppressed her annoyance for the sake of avoiding a scene. “Look, Ron, it’s not like I don’t appreciate what you’re trying to do, and you’ve cheered me up all morning, I’m very grateful for that. But, really, I’ll be a lot more relaxed if I can return to my books and have some quiet reading done this afternoon than sitting with you pretending to not think about work...”

Ron looked very disappointed, but she was telling the truth. He could find someone here in Hogsmead to talk to and goof around with, after all he was a popular Quidditch captain now. And he could always keep Harry some company, after all the two were best mates. He’d have a lot more fun then keeping her company when she was agonizing over her studies. With that conviction in mind she was surprised to see he was stepping into her carriage to Hogwarts as well.

“Ron, you don’t need to come with me, I’m a big girl, you know”

“That’s ok, I just feel like staying a bit with you for a while. Can’t a bloke accompany his best friend anymore?”

“But what about Harry? Why don’t you spend some time with him? And shouldn’t there be someone watching him?”

Ron chuckled: “Relax, do you really think they would let him out of the castle without a whole set of guards? Now that I think of it, there’s probably someone under an Invisibility Cloak following us right now, protecting the young genius who’s beaten Tom Riddle’s OWL scores...”

Really? Or is he just joking? Anyway, they travelled on in silence for a while. “Hermione?”

“Hmm...”

“What’s going on with you and Harry?”

Hermione frowned: “Harry didn’t tell you?”

Ron cocked his head at her: “Harry told me something about Dobby and your knittings, and that he should’ve said something about it sooner. He did seem sorry, but that was before yesterday, something happened at the Occlumency thing, I just don’t know what. You know Harry when he doesn’t want to talk about something...”

“It really isn’t that big of a deal. He just saw something and he overreacted and then I overreacted and now it’s just this whole thing, and I really don’t know how it got to be ‘this whole thing’. And I’m sorry if you feel like you’re in the middle of it... but I’m sure he’ll just sulk it off and everything will be alright again shortly”

Hermione hoped she sounded more convincing then she felt.

Ron seemed to try to discover if she was telling the truth, and why she wasn’t giving details. But Hermione didn’t plan on willingly betraying Ginny by telling Ron about the discovery of the ‘boys-hide-out’; thinking about it that way really *did* make it sound juvenile anyway, and didn’t offer any more information. To break the tension she started talking about the upcoming lessons they would have on Monday.

Ron was looking at her oddly, like he wanted to tell her something, but couldn’t for some reason. She started feeling unnerved about that. Rambling on, she tried to get rid of that feeling. Ron was still watching her from his seat across, but Hermione started to feel like the carriage was shrinking, while the tension increased. Never one to pass up a challenge, she scooted forward and took Ron’s hands in hers.

“What’s wrong, Ron?” She half expected him to freak at the contact, Ron was never one for more friendly-worried touches.

But he didn’t, what he *did* do made Hermione panic. Ron scooted closer, too. Staring intensely into her eyes, he disentangled one of his hands and brought it up to her face. Before she could register what was going on, he kissed her. A lot of things went through her mind at once, and she felt petrified. Ron was kissing her! Not just a peck on the cheek, but Ronald Weasley’s lips were in skin-contact with hers! Best friend Ronald Weasley was kissing her on the mouth! Was running his tongue over her lips, smearing his saliva! Aargh!

Finally regaining her ability to move, she pushed him off. Her hand went automatically to her mouth to wipe it. Ron looked so hurt, but she just couldn’t handle this right now. Realising the carriage stood still, she jumped out and ran all the way to the Tower, taking her books from the common room and running up to her room.

Had the world gone mad? Maybe she had hallucinated the whole thing; trying and failing to push this out of her mind, she was making very little progress in studying. She hadn’t even noticed it was that late when Ginny came up with a napkin full of food. Dinner was already finished.

Ginny Weasley was one of the only people on this earth that could convince Hermione to spill the beans, even if she didn’t feel like it. Making sure Lavender nor Parvati could overhear her, Hermione told her everything, the wonderful day she had spent in Ron’s presence, the hurt she felt from Harry’s obvious rejection of her friendship, what had happened in the carriage... Ginny was furious at her, she stated Hermione must have been particularly daft to not have noticed before that Ron fancied her.

Through her confused state of mind Hermione remembered things, situations, that should’ve made her see this. The perfume he gave her last Christmas; she’d thought it had been a poor attempt at getting her something more feminine, instead of giving her another book, as if he was trying to hint to her that she should become less of a know-it-all, and more of a *girl*. The jealousy of Krum and the scene at the Yule Ball; she’d thought it was the same annoyance he felt for Ginny’s boyfriends, like an annoying brotherly protectiveness, combined with anger that she had been asked by an international Quidditch star, and he hadn’t even been acknowledged by Fleur...

More flashes came to mind, bringing a whole new dimension to everything that she thought was true. She was so confused! How could she consider herself intelligent if she couldn’t even have seen THAT. It looked quite obvious in retrospect... but how was she to deal with all that? All that she thought was true was suddenly upside-down, she couldn’t even trust her own judgement anymore!

And Ron, poor Ron, he’d maybe thought she was playing hard to get or something, and had decided to risk his luck, when she’d grabbed his hands. He would’ve thought she was giving him silent consent to put the moves on her. Ron tried to put the moves on her! How, oh how could she not have seen this coming! And now, because of her stupidity, she’d hurt her best friend in the worst way possible!

Ginny was looking at her while she was mentally lamenting; looking up, she saw the younger girl’s anger had subsided a bit and was giving way for pity. Hermione’s sense of honour rebelled at that, she didn’t need pity! But what could she do? Before she had the chance to say anything, Ginny interrupted:

“You have to talk to him, you know. It’s bad enough having Harry and you acting like you’re just acquaintances; I will not suffer the sulkiness of my brother also! Now come on! We’re going to the boy’s dormitory!”

Hermione very much would’ve liked to protest, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Normally she would’ve thought leaving Ron to deal with it on his own would be better, but she couldn’t bear having him ignoring her too, or worse, hate her! So she let herself be dragged. In the common room, she saw Harry talking to Neville and Dean and Seamus goofing around, trying to impress younger students.

Ginny made a complicated hand movement to the latter two, and Hermione could only guess it meant to see that no one would go up to the sixth year boys’ dormitory. Ron was, as expected, sulking in his room. Ginny just shoved Hermione into the room, and stayed guard at the door. Feeling extremely nervous Hermione entered the room a bit further.

“Ron?” She pleaded, but he only threw her a brief look, before returning to his original pose of sulkiness.

Plunging in, she tried to make her case: “Ron, look, I’m sorry. I... I didn’t know, I should’ve know, but I guess I’m just stupid and blind when it comes to me. I just never thought about it before, and then you kissed me, and I didn’t know how to react, and I just panicked, and I’m sorry. I mean it wasn’t like you were a bad kisser or something, well at least I don’t *think* so. But I was just so overwhelmed/”

“You’re not stupid, blind yes but not stupid. I’m the stupid one, for ever believing, hoping you’d like me too”

Ron sounded so broken, she couldn’t bear it. “But... I just haven’t had time to accustom to the idea, maybe... Look you’re my best friend, and I love you very much as a friend, so maybe, if we take it slowly we’d just... maybe... All I want is not to loose you... Please?”

Hermione couldn’t believe she was saying this! This wasn’t her; who was speaking in her place?! Did she like Ron like that? Maybe, maybe not... But Ron deserved better than that! She couldn’t treat him like that, giving him false hope before she knew for sure that hope could be real. Her feelings were such a mess right now, she couldn’t think straight. All that she was feeling was the desperate need to undo the hurt she’d caused...

Ron snorted: “You know, my dad used to tell us something” Not sure where he was taking this, she settled on listening, making herself as small as possible.

“He’d say, he and mum had been best friends for years before they realised they were in love. He used to say he’d had girlfriends before her and he felt like he was very much in love with all of them, even when they kissed he felt the butterflies and all that sentimental rubbish you’re supposed to feel. You can imagine I was grossed out about the conversation, especially when Fred and George started to make lewd jokes about it. But then he said something that I’ll always remember. He said crushes come and go, some butterflies even stick for quite some time, but it isn’t real, it isn’t love. He said we’d know love when we’d meet it. He said when he first kissed mum he knew he was going to marry her, because he didn’t even notice the crazy feelings, only that everything was right. Everything just fell into place, everything would be alright if he’d just have her on his side... He’d said that we would know in the deepest of our core that it was meant to be...”

Hermione barely dared breathing, who knew Ron Weasley had a sentimental streak?

Ron shifted his gaze to Hermione, he looked heart broken. “You’re not my soul mate” He said this with an incredulous expression, and his tone spoke of awe at himself that he had come to this realisation. Hermione only now noticed tears were streaming from her eyes. She felt emotionally empty, like she had missed a chance at relative happiness, but at the same time felt relieved.

“So... What happens now?” she asked softly.

Ron said: “I don’t know... It’s not like I’ve always wanted to know who I was going to marry at sixteen or something, but I’d always thought that with you...”

Hermione didn’t know what to say to this. She saw something of a glimmer of Ron’s spirit flashing through his eyes. “I guess I should be just grateful you didn’t slap me when I smothered you out of nowhere...”

Though she could tell he was still suffering, she laughed a bit nervously through her tears. “Ron, I meant what I said, I don’t want to loose our friendship, I...”

Well, it only seemed fair to let herself open up to him, like he had done, “Ron, your and Harry’s friendship mean the world to me. You must have noticed that before you two, I’d never had any real friends, ever; unless you count books... And about the kiss, I’m very sorry about how I reacted. It’s just, I’d never been kissed before, and it just took me completely by surprise and, I didn’t know what to do...”

While she rambled on, Ron did something he’d never done before. A bit hesitantly, he walked towards her, and hugged her. After her initial shock was over, she hugged him back with much force. Her sobs gradually died down.

Ron broke the silence: “Hey, finally, I was afraid you were turning into Cho-the-human-hosepipe!”

Hermione smiled at that letting go of him to swat his arm. “I’m just a bit more emotional then normal because of the whole confusion with Harry, and with Ron Weasley suddenly becoming all charming and emotionally mature... It’s enough to make any girl go crazy...”

Ron’s expression grew serious again: “Are you going to tell me now what’s really going on with Harry? And why you looked so hurt when he was talking to Cho next to the Shrieking Shack?”

Ron looked at her frowning, “You fancy him, don’t you!” While Ron was fighting down his jealousy, Hermione disentangled herself from his arms, confused.

“No, of course not. Would I have offered you moments ago to give you a chance, if I knew my heart was already elsewhere?” Ron looked at her, not completely convinced.

She sighed, she could as well tell him everything, it wasn’t like it mattered *that* much, and maybe, just maybe he would be able to help her understand... After all, Ron was a boy, and she knew she wasn’t going to find the guide to a boy’s mind in the library any time soon, so, why not step out of character a bit and tell Ron her problems...

***

Chap 18 Happy Christmas

When Hermione had finished explaining about what Harry and she had fought about the night before, Ginny had stuck in her head to ask what they were doing... Being as it was quite late, the rest of the boys were planning on coming up. Ron had promised to speak with Harry without divulging too much of her confidence to him. She also promised him, she wouldn’t breathe a word of their “encounter” to anyone but Ginny, since she already knew. Hermione thought it only fair to give him time to get over his crush for her; besides, it would give her time to get accustomed to the idea that one of her best friends had had feelings for her, and that any potential relationship from there on, was already non-existent.

It was a bit like feeling desired one moment, and unwanted the next... But she’d get over that, no problem there. Of course there was the surreal factor that she had been kissed for the first time... Now Hermione may be nothing of a silly giggling girl, a deep secret part of her still felt giddy about that...

Of course Ginny hadn’t let her go to sleep before extracting all information. The younger witch was so floored by her brother’s mature behaviour, that she made Hermione tell it over and over again, until the older witch threatened to hex her.

The next morning everything was business as usual. Harry didn’t snap at her, she didn’t either, and on the surface it seemed nothing happened. Of course nothing REAL *did* happen, but Hermione still felt a little tension underneath. When she looked at Ron questioningly about Harry’s behaviour he just winked at her.

“So, Hermione, tell us since we know now that you saw the motorcycle. What did you think of the Muggle thing?”

Hermione was unsure if it was the right thing to do to start talking about that all of the sudden, and Harry seemed startled too. Last night she found out that the motorcycle had been a gift from Sirius for Harry’s sixteenth birthday, and the cave *had* been an old practise room for duelling. But Ron’s teasing tone, and the fact that he was talking so freely to her without awkwardness, made her feel giddy.

“Why I think it’s a beautiful one, of course. I mean it’s a black Harley, what girl wouldn’t swoon at the sight of it, not to mention the sound... Hmm”

She closed her eyes for effect, making them think she was imagining the sight and sound. When she looked at her two boys again, she saw them gaping at her. Harry had definitely come out of his sulky mood because he asked teasingly: “Ok, where’s Hermione and what have you done to her?”

Happily she answered: “Hermione is about to be late for her Ancient Runes class, so see you two for Defence next!”

With that she skipped out of the Great Hall, leaving them being amazed. She didn’t know what had gotten into her, she almost acted like a girlie in love. Unfortunately, as the day went on, she remembered the amounts of work that had yet to be done, so the giddy mood was quickly replaced by a determined one. Never shy of a challenge, she set to work during her free time in the library, and studied with renewed passion.

***

The weeks progressed, and soon Christmas break was coming up. Hermione felt like she was in a roller-coaster of changes. Though everything seemed to basically stay the same, at the same time everything was different. For instance Neville; this year he had found a new confidence in himself, and was progressing consideringly in all classes he was enrolled in. Hermione was left wondering if it was the new wand, the DA lessons of last year, or the encounter with his parents’ torturer at the Ministry, or all of them combined...

Another change was found with the Ravenclaw Chang. Cho was finally laying off, she’d even come to defend Hermione when Parkinson was on one of her tirades. And because of Cho notifying the Headmaster, Snape had been unable to do anything to stop Parkinson from loosing her prefect badge. A fifth year by the name of Rosalinda Rempinga had taken her place, and from what Hermione had heard from Ginny, that girl hadn’t much more of a heart then Parkinson, but at least she was a lot less *loud*. Hermione knew what Cho had done was as close to an apology she was ever going to get from the girl, but she supposed that was alright.

She still didn’t know, though, what it had been that Cho and Harry had talked about on the Hogsmead trip. As far as she could tell, they weren’t a couple. They didn’t act so awkward towards each other anymore, so she imagined they’d talked things over... Harry was certainly not telling, and Hermione wasn’t risking the peace between them to badger him about it. She still had to push her boys to study from time to time, but they seemed to be getting along without her better and better... Hermione still helped Harry with Potions as much as she could, but he was getting better at them. True, he would never become a potions master, but he should be able to collect a NEWT, if he continued the way he was working now...

The biggest change she supposed was Ron. They had their awkward moments, but their ‘daily friendship’ was developing in something more ‘light’. Where before they could bite each other’s heads off constantly, the fighting had gotten a more sarcastically teasing dimension. Ron would make sarcastic comments, and Hermione would glare at him, but their wasn’t that whole angry tension accompanying it anymore. Hermione wouldn’t go as far as to call it flirting, but it’s what her roommates called it.

Ron was loosing more and more of his shyness, and was discovering he had some popularity of his own, being the Quidditch captain... He still blushed behind his ears easily, but he was starting to discover that easy Weasley charm deep within him. Hermione thought and Ginny agreed, that he was taking more and more after Bill.

Ginny was revelling in being single and prefect; though at first glance the two had nothing to do with each other, she used her position the way boys usually used it: as a way to flirt, well a little anyway... the only one who wasn’t considered ‘prey’ were the students younger then her, the Slytherins, and her brother and Harry, who was more like a brother to her anyway.

Ron had confessed to Hermione he had had this ideal picture perfect in his head for the future: him marrying her, and Harry his sister, then they would’ve all been family. She’d been touched by the sentimentality Ron had, but explained to him they already were family; nothing could change that. In fact, the first who’d get it in his or her head to try tearing them apart would be hexed by her personally.

Harry had never been the most chipper boy, but he wasn’t excessively sulking. He had this special aura around him of someone who seemed older then he really was, because of all he’d seen in his short life. And it was getting more defined every day. Though Ron still let Malfoy get to him, Harry used sarcasm and calm as his weapons, besides, Malfoy had toned down a little since his dear Pansy lost her badge...

The DA sessions went on, and Hermione was impressed at the progress they were getting; they had witnessed some pretty wild duels. Slytherins were still refusing to show up, though... Of course it helped that the Defence against Dark Arts teacher actually did his job... The Legilimency lessons were progressing also, and Harry was actually getting quite good at it. To Hermione’s relief he was to find the answers to Arithmency theories in her mind, which meant her most intimate thoughts and memories were relatively safe, since he only had to sort through her memories of studying. Gradually he was to try small Legilimency without the spell, just trying to see if people surrounding him were lying to him or not...

But this still left Hermione unable to do real Occlumency, and that was starting to weigh on her. She was grateful for the two weeks of vacation that were coming up, though. Even if her homework and written assignments were delivered on time; she felt like she could do with some more reading. And those two weeks would be the excellent time to catch up at ease.

She had wanted to go to her parents this year, since it had been such a long time she’d celebrated Christmas with them, but she knew this wouldn’t be possible as of yet. The risk for her, and them was not one she was willing to take. So she agreed to follow Harry and Ron. Today was the last day before break, and she was still unsure about where they would go. Would they stay at Hogwarts, or go to the Grimmauld Place? The Burrow would be nice, but seemed out of the question if they wanted Harry to be with them. Hermione understood that having them being in the dark themselves about their where-abouts, was the best tactic of leaving the other side in confusion. But how was she to know if she needed to pack or not?

They were all at the Great Hall for dinner, when Dumbledore stood to make an announcement.

“Tomorrow some of you will leave us to celebrate these coming holidays with their families. I wish you all a merry Christmas, and a happy new year! And may you all return safely back to us. I have never tried to hide from you all what dire times we are facing, and I urge you all to be vigilant, and careful. Remember, united we are strong, and we mustn’t let hatred consume us, but fight it... On a happier note I would like to warn all students that a ball will be held in honour of the new Minister of Magic. This tradition has been delayed long enough, and we will honour the new Head of government, as is our custom. All fifth years and above are to attend, younger students may chose to participate if they wish to. It goes without saying that you are expected to show up in dress robes, so I dare say some of us will have some last minute shopping to do over the vacation. The ball will be organized by the teachers with the help of the Head Boy and Girl, as well as the prefects, and will be held the first Saturday evening after the holidays... Now off you go”

Naturally the ball was all Hermione heard about from her roommates, even the next morning they were still going on about it. When most of the students left in the carriages, Hermione was left with Harry, Ron and Ginny in the Gryffindor common room, waiting for news on where they were to go next. They didn’t have to wait for very long, Remus and Tonks came in and told them to pack so they could go to the Grimmauld Place. Running upstairs they got to work as soon as possible.

Hermione was still contemplating what books to bring and which to leave behind, when Ginny told her to hurry already. Coming down they saw Harry and Ron already waiting at the fire place. Leaving their trunks there they went in search for their chaperones, who’d mysteriously disappeared. Scrambling out of the entrance hole, they were moving quietly, for no other reason that it seemed disrespectful to disturb the almost eerie stillness of the castle.

Hearing Tonks’ voice from around the corner they stopped dead in their tracks: “Remus... The mistle... toe’s... gone... now... Mmh, we should go back... Mmh, or not yet”

Hermione, having a pretty good idea at what was going on there, was trying to lead the rest back to where they came from. Harry and Ron seemed inclined to follow her but Ginny’s smile said she just *had* to investigate further... Before they could decide either way a cold voice barked behind them, making them jump quite high.

“What, pray tell, are four young Gryffindors doing lurking about in the corridors? Miss Weasley, I do sincerely hope you will not make it a habit to seek trouble like your older friends and siblings... Well, I do expect an answer, preferably today”

Just at that moment Remus and Tonks rounded the corner. Again, you could barely see anything about them that gave away their real intimacy. “Professor Lupin, Auror Tonks, I caught these cretins eavesdropping on you. Or did I not? What have you learned that was so important to stoop so low?”

Hermione repressed the urge to tell him he should be the one to reconsider blaming other people of eavesdropping. Before anyone could loose their temper, though, Remus said: “That’s quite alright Severus, they were told to come and get us when they were finished with their packing”

Dramatically billowing away, Snape didn’t pursue the matter further.

When they arrived at Grimmauld Place with a secure Floo-connection, and had settled in, Harry and Ron barged into Hermione and Ginny’s room. “Ok, Hermione, spill, how long have you known!” Ron didn’t really seem angry, just annoyed. And Hermione knew very well what they meant.

“Ok, ok. You remember the night I arrived here, Harry? You went off, when the conversation turned to Sirius...” waiting for the nod, she continued, “Well, Remus didn’t stay very long after you left, and then Tonks and I decided to go talk to you both. That’s when I came to study with you. So, then, remember you asked about my notes being on the kitchen table the next morning?”

She proceeded to tell the whole story. Ginny was positively beaming at the passionate affair that had been going on right under their noses. But all three of them were outraged that she hadn’t told any of them sooner.

“Well, excuse me, Lavender, Parvati, and Padma, if I didn’t realise this made some great gossip! Besides, it’s evident that they don’t want this to get out. I mean, you wouldn’t notice for a second; they just act so casual whenever someone else is with them... It’s almost as if it isn’t true”

“But it is,” For the second time in a short while they were startled out of their wits.

In the opening of the door were Tonks and Remus. Remus sported a sad expression, when Tonks seemed more like a little relieved: “I knew you’d seen something that day, thanks for keeping it quite, Hermione”

Remus continued: “And we’d appreciate it if you all could keep it that way” with that he left the room.

Ginny went up to Tonks: “This is so great! I knew you fancied him, damn I like being right! But what has *his* knickers in a twist? Why doesn’t he want it known?”

Hermione said: “Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? First there’s the age difference, and the fact that Professor Lupin’s a werewolf and Tonks is an Auror. The news of their relationship would make more then one eyebrow lift”

“That doesn’t matter to me Hermione, you should know me better then this”

“But it matters to him,” Harry shocked everyone in the room with this bit of insight. “And the fact that you could both die protecting me kind of puts things in a tense perspective, not sure of having a future. And then there’s Sirius’ memory that stands between you. You were his little cousin, and Remus was his last best mate...”

Ron looked at Harry incredulously: “Ok, that’s it. No more studying with Hermione. She’s rubbing off on you!!! I don’t want two Hermione’s as best friends! So knock it off!”

The tension was lifted with that, and laughter filled the room.

“Blimey, I almost forgot! You have to come downstairs! We have a surprise for you!”

All curious, they followed Tonks, and soon the question as to why the kitchen had looked so deserted was answered. Someone had redone the big classy dining room in more cheerful colours, red, gold and a little bit of green. A big Christmas tree was standing in one corner with a lot of presents under it. The room was filled with joyful Christmas carols, and people of the Order.

Hermione saw all of the Weasleys, except for Charlie and Percy, standing there, Moody, Dedalus Diggle, Mundungus Fletcher, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore and two other people...

Hermione couldn’t believe her eyes: “Mum, dad!” She sprinted up to them, jumping in her mother’s waiting arms.

***

Chap 19 Merry holidays

To say that it was a surprise to see her parents at Grimmauld Place, was just abusing the meaning of the word ‘understatement’. Not that she was disappointed or anything, certainly not. But her rational mind quickly told her that this wasn’t just a pleasant surprise for her. There had to have happened something, or at least, there was some danger lurking for her parents to be brought to the Order’s Headquarters.

But all her parents knew was that they didn’t object to spending their vacation with their daughter, even if they had to be cooped up for it during two weeks. Hermione loved her parents dearly, and she knew they loved her, but she also realised what sacrifices they had been making for her. The Grangers, both being dentists and highly standing on their independence, had also very scientific orientated minds. Even though they knew early on that there was something special about their daughter, they’d always stood to magic as being a bit of a fairy tale.

Only having the occasional trip to Diagon Alley, and their daughter’s ramblings, as contact with the magical world, their highly rational working minds must be on overload since the night before. Mr. Weasley had brought them, and they had been given the last spare bedroom in the house. Mrs. Weasley had been so kind as to decorate it as Muggle-friendly as possible. Which meant that the talking portraits had been removed, and the mirrors un-charmed... Nothing to scare a Muggle then a mirror with an own opinion.

Hermione was in heaven; she would spent her Christmas with both families, from both worlds. Her parents would finally have the opportunity to get to know Harry and the Weasleys better, and vice versa. This train of thought made her happy mood falter a bit. She knew her father and Mr. Weasley would find *something* to talk about, they were both flexible in that way. But what she was worried about was her mother and Mrs. Weasley.

Though she knew Mrs. Weasley didn’t particularly object for a woman to choose career above staying at home to take care of the family, and her mother wasn’t a real fanatic of being an independent woman, who let the nanny raise her child (which, by the way, wasn’t the case), both women didn’t exactly seem to have a lot in common, not even counting the magic-difference... But she needn’t have worried, since they seemed to get along just fine. Her mother had even helped a bit with dinner the previous night, which was actually more her dad’s job at home.

After Hermione had filled her parents in on the highlights of the last few days at Hogwarts, they were interrupted by Moody who wanted to know about their profession. Hermione never would’ve guessed him to be interested in such a thing as Muggle dentistry, but that shows how much she knew...

***

Christmas went by in a comfortable haze, faltered in times when someone would yodel a carol, or something, anything that would remind them of Sirius. The loss was still hanging between them, and it still hurt as much, it was only the dealing with the hurt that became more of a habit, as strange as that sounded.

Hermione was glad Harry didn’t keep the cave in the dungeons a strict secret anymore. He even invited her dad to come look at the Harley. She did notice though that a lot of the books on the bookshelf had disappeared, fortunately, because she didn’t want to be confronted with that one book, neither have either of her parents discover it. Her dad of course was over the moon with the sight of the motorcycle, just like she thought he would be. Harry had even relaxed enough and liked the Muggle enough to offer her dad a ride. But her mum had strongly objected to her dad mounting a flying vehicle, and if her dad had one fault, it was submitting easily to his wife.

Her parents, aside from getting accustomed to being talked to in the hallways by paintings, snubbed by portraits who called them Mudbloods, and having a very critical mirror in one of the bathrooms, not to mention seeing magic applied in every day life, like making dinner, levitating something up the stairs, and so on, were starting to realise what the threat Voldemort posed really held.

Like the fact that when they asked about Voldemort, most would stiffen and look startled out of their wits, hissing to say You-Know-Who. Hermione guessed they were starting to realise how real the danger was... She’d had a heart wrenching conversation with her mother on New Year’s Eve, about her growing up and being so brave. They started to see that all this transcended her good marks, her excellent schoolwork, her prefect position... that all seemed less important when they started to realise just what she had helped doing to save lives...

Hermione couldn’t even begin to realise what this all must mean to them. It wasn’t that she’d lied to them all these years, but she hadn’t been really blunt with the truth either, on the other hand, her parents had always regarded most of the magical world as a fairy tale, except for their daughter’s education of course... So the reality check was going to be brusque either way.

She also had the feeling they felt a bit helpless. Both being successful dentists, they had a certain pride at their self-efficiency. Being surrounded by wizards and knowing the situation, Hermione could only imagine how powerless they must feel... But even if that was the case, they hid it well. There had even been an incident, which Hermione was sure that she would laugh about later in life, given time... after she got over her mortification... It was the first time they’d *felt* how powerful magic was, and how easy it was to corrupt it.

Snape had come by once for a meeting of the Order. Her parents had been exploring the new library, devoid of Dark Arts book, and filled with more appropriate once, and all who still attended Hogwarts had been shooed out of the dining room, where they now held the meetings. Afterwards, Harry and Hermione had had the misfortune of running into Snape in a deserted hallway.

They’d left Ron and Ginny to play wizard’s chess, to get some drinks from the kitchen.

*

“Well, well, well... I see old habits die hard. I am so very sorry to inform you the meeting is over, your attempt of overhearing anything that was not meant for your ears is quite too late” Hermione was getting sick of this, Snape knew Harry was less guarded with his anger here then at Hogwarts, and out of frustration of not getting enough of a rise out of him in his class to put him in detention he was pestering Harry in his own house!

Hermione snapped back: “We were just getting to the kitchen for a drink! We’re not at Hogwarts! Harry can bloody well go and stand in his own house wherever and whenever he wants!”

Still reeling herself from having said that to one of her professors, she heard a gasp behind her: “Hermione Granger! I did *not* just hear you swear a minute ago in front of a senior”

Whipping her head around her mother was looking at her in horror, while her father merely looked surprised and a bit shocked. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry’s ridiculous expression, torn between laughter and anger.

Snape, seething, ignored her parents’ entrance in the hallway. He was towering over her in all his blackness, and Hermione suddenly felt a lot smaller then she felt before when she was telling him off; what was she thinking anyway, who in their right mind told off Professor Snape?

“Miss Granger, you should do well as to remember who you are talking to. We may not be at Hogwarts but you will treat me with due respect!/”

Harry had to visibly suppress his anger, Hermione felt the magic roll off of him in waves, and apparently so did Snape. Looking at Harry with twisted satisfaction, Snape sneered: “Going to do some magic out of school, Potter?”

Hermione panicked when she saw Harry looking at Snape with as much contempt as he could muster. A silly voice in her head whispered: “At least it isn’t pure hatred...” but she felt as if Snape prickled him any more, Harry was going to set off like a time-bomb.

At that moment her father cleared his throat; holding out his hand at Snape in his innocence of not knowing the wizard: “I beg your pardon, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of being properly introduced, yet. These youths nowadays... Dr. Granger, and this is my wife, also Dr. Granger, pleased to meet you, I am sure. Am I to understand that you are a Professor at our daughter’s school?”

Snape realising that these were in fact Hermione’s parents, looked very shocked, and Hermione had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t the realisation that her parents had witnessed the scene just now. If the way he eyed her father’s hand was any indication, Snape was shocked that a Muggle was expecting *him* to touch it, let alone shake it in a friendly manner. Hermione knew Snape had been a Death Eater, she knew he was Head of House of the Slytherins, but she had thought that with his reforming against his Dark Lord, he had found some decency within him to leave behind his learned hate and taught revulsion for Muggles. Apparently not.

Through her own indignation and horrified disappointment, she didn’t feel Harry’s anger increasing at first. After only a fraction of a moment she felt he was trying to direct his anger. Not fully realising what she was doing, she gave her own anger free range. Snape was without a doubt a powerful wizard, but a focused attack of raw magic was too undefined to resist with a counter spell. Harry’s emotions were strong enough for Snape to be quite unable to resist much through his own surprise, but Harry seemed to be channelling *her* magic as well.

Just before her father faltered and retreated his hand, Snape’s hand shot out and shook it awkwardly.

Snape’s expression was one of horror: “Potter, stop this at once!”

Harry was looking deep into his Professor’s eyes, and if Hermione didn’t know any better, he was trying to penetrate Snape’s mind. Suddenly Harry started, Hermione fell forward from the abrupt stop in building of raw magic.

Snape and Harry looked at each other, glaring, but, again, without any trace of real hate. Something had happened, Harry’d seen something, something he needed to know in order to tolerate Snape better. How she knew this she didn’t know, it was jus a feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she was beginning to trust that feeling more and more.

*

Her parents had been quite shaken, especially by the way they had literally felt the magic, it had to have been quite exhilarating for them... They didn’t comment much about Snape’s behaviour, or how they had been able to force him to shake her dad’s hand, but she’d seen that, again, this incident changed the way they looked at her, and Harry.

The holiday did bring more fun times too. Like when they were discussing the ball.

*

“I think I’m going stag this year, seems safer” Harry had breeched the only part of the subject all of them had been avoiding.

Ron was nodding, looking sagely: “Me too”

Ginny frowned: “What about Cho? She isn’t going with Michael any more, maybe she’d go with you?”

Harry snorted: “I’m not going down that road again. I finally settled everything with her, I’m not messing that up by asking her to the ball, even if it were just as friends”

So that’s what he was doing near the Shrieking Shack, and that’s why Cho had stopped pestering her afterwards... Hermione decided to call them back to reality.

“You do realise that you *have* to bring a date, don’t you? All of you? The ball will be opened by the Head Girl and Boy, followed by the prefects and their dates. You’ll all have to dance half of the first song, and the second...”

Ron’s jaw hit the floor: “You’re kidding, right! Tell me you’re kidding! Is it too late to resign as a prefect? I am under no circumstances making a fool out of myself in front of all of Hogwarts and the ministerial guests!”

“Oh, Ron, do stop! You won’t make a fool of yourself!”

“Oh, yeah? Have you ever seen me dance, Hermione? No! And why is that?”

Ginny filled in for him: “Because he can’t dance to save his life”

“Hey, I prefer calling it choosing to keep my feet from doing silly steps, thank you very much!”

“Ron, stop being such a baby. Harry thought he couldn’t dance, and look how he did at the Yule Ball!”

Harry turned bright pink: “Actually, that was Parvati steering me around...”

Ginny giggled, and Hermione suppressed her annoyance: “Oh very well! So, you two can’t dance, then we’ll just have to teach you, won’t we?”

*

It had taken a while, but they were improving. Ginny and her had gotten some handy tips from Hermione’s mum, on how to avoid serious injury when the boys stepped on their toes, and once it had gotten out they were practising dancing, every male in the house was putting in his special word of advise, which was quite hilarious...

It had been Ron’s idea of composing the dates amongst the four of them. That way they could all go stag after the opening songs, like they all planned. Hermione had made sure he wasn’t having any ulterior motives any more of having Harry and Ginny, and him and her partnered up. But he had reassured her that he just didn’t want to risk the trouble of asking a girl and be rejected, and besides, he did have a point that if they went that way, they would all have a guaranteed great time, since they were among friends.

Harry didn’t particularly want to ask Ginny, but Ginny didn’t seem to mind either way. Hermione supposed Harry rather took his chances with maybe giving Ginny false hope, then having to ask Parvati again. So he agreed in the end.

Since Harry and Hermione had outgrown their dress robes, and they weren’t to leave the house, they didn’t really had the luxury of being picky. Harry’s robes were pretty much similar to his old ones, dark green, simple, but very smart. Hermione’s dress was beautiful, even if she wouldn’t have picked it herself. Her mother had been accompanied by Tonks and Mrs. Weasley and they had paid a little more to have a charm that would make the dress fit Hermione, either way.

It was made of a sparkling dark silver tissue that stretched easily, and though there were sleeves, her shoulders would be bare. The back was open, but not indecently so (which meant that it didn’t go too low), with a thin strap just over her shoulder blades. The bare shoulders and open back unabled her to wear a classic Muggle bra, but she wouldn’t need that since magic was a wonderful problem solver... It was kind of clingy over her torso and her thighs, but the fabric stretched easily. From her knees till just above her ankles it was made of a fluffy, silvery veil tissue, giving her all the space she needed to move on the dance floor.

Well, she wouldn’t have chosen it herself, but if her mother and Mrs. Weasley found the dress suitable, who was she to argue on its sexiness...

***

Chapter 20 The Ball

After the holidays, Hermione had informed Professor Dumbledore of what had happened in the corridor with Snape. It’s not like she wanted to rat out Harry or anything, it was just that she felt it was important that Harry could somehow draw raw magic from her; and control it slightly, not to mention that she was worried maybe the Ministry had found out about Harry using magic out of school, again... And it wasn’t like she could trust either of the other men involved in the incident telling the old wizard.

However, she didn’t mention her suspicion about Harry having looked and found something in Snape’s mind. Belatedly she realised Dumbledore must have picked up on it, because she was clearly thinking about her suspicion, while Dumbledore was peering in her eyes... The little knowing nod he gave her, didn’t reassure her on the fact that he didn’t peep in her mind...

The first week back flew by, and all everyone could talk about was the ball. Nobody had asked Hermione to the ball, but then again, the news she was Ron’s partner for the opening dance had spread like a wildfire. Though that didn’t stop loads of people asking Ginny, Harry and Ron. She felt torn between relief and disappointment about that.

Neville having heard Ginny and Hermione preferred to go stag, had asked Luna. The dreamy girl had said yes, but only if they went as friends. Neville had confessed he’d only asked because his grandmother threatened him in having a date so he wouldn’t embarrass the Longbottom name... Luna didn’t seem to mind in the least.

At last Saturday arrived; DA had been cancelled, and the Great Hall had been decorated. Hermione and Ginny had retreated to their dormitories after lunch to prepare. Going for a slightly different hairstyle this year, she put the Sleek Easy Potion liberally in her hair. Once her hair was frizz-free, she made it curl a bit, so that her long hair curved slightly. Leaving the front strands to fall around her face, she pinned her hair seemingly sloppy with a beautiful Muggle comb at the back of her hair, so that the tips of her hair still graced her neck. Fixing the hairdo with magic, to avoid getting it messed up along the evening, she tended to the rest of her appearance.

Her unmanageable hair had taken so long and she really didn’t have that much patience for all that stuff anyway. In the short time that was left, she put on her dress, applied so little lip-gloss, mascara, eye shadow and blush, that it was barely noticeable. Just the way she liked it. Waiting for the mirror to give her approval, she watched herself critically. Satisfied, since she didn’t want to loose any more time, she went to find Ginny.

Ginny was also putting the finishing touches to her appearance. She wore the dress Fred and George had bought for her the previous year. It was a special grass green adorned with brown trims. The cut was as daring as Ginny had been allowed by her mother: puffy shoulders and a décolleté that would only become indecent would she bent forward deeply... The lower part billowed when she twirled and on any one else Hermione would’ve found the dress dull or even a waist of fabric. Ginny looked like a beautiful wood nymph in it. Her red hair was loose and curled excessively, completing her ‘free spirit’ look.

Hooking their arms together they walked down to see their ‘escorts’ waiting. Hermione decided Harry’s and Ron’s surprised expressions made the work worth it. She almost ran back upstairs when she saw Ron’s dress robes. Reminding herself that Ron was a bit eccentric when it came to such things, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with that, she decided that he was her friend, and if he liked the light purple robes with violent orange finishing touches, then so be it. At least it didn’t clash with his hair... too much, and there were no frilly things in sight.

Going down to the Great Hall, they, as in the prefects and their dates, were to assemble at the front, close to the teachers’ table, where the Minister and her entourage were going to eat. The guests were to be called when they entered... She noticed Neville not too far from them, totally in black, with Luna who had an... interesting outfit on. She had painted golden specks on her radish earrings, her dress was striped red-blue, horizontal stripes... How she had gotten her hair to look like some kind of dried-out cactus, was a total mystery to Hermione... And the real miracle was that she could get away with the look, it actually looked good on her; kind of like Ron and his loud outfit, it strangely *fit* them.

Soon it was time. Several wizards and witches Hermione didn’t know, or vaguely recognised from her visits to the Ministry filed in. To her dismay, and she would dare a couple of galleons, to Ron’s, Ginny’s and Harry’s as well, Mr. Galfadus had sent his daughter and future son-in-law in his place. Percy looked well, richness seemed to agree with him... The witch hanging on his arm didn’t look like what Hermione had expected. She’d thought Gertruda would be a stuck-up, haughty Slytherin type. She was more of the sickly looking mouse-type. Though Hermione knew appearances could be misleading, the brown-haired witch looked tired, and meek, not at all the cunning type, even with the clothing that screamed money.

When finally the Minister was present, they were seated and started eating. Hermione soon felt at ease, after all, Malfoy with Pansy as his date were at the other side of the prefects’ table, and they didn’t bother her. Though she couldn’t shake the feeling they were going to try their best to make them look like fools in front of the Minister. When the dancing was to start, she knew her intuition hadn’t lied.

Malfoy and Parkinson were trying to discourage Ron from dancing by making their usual scathing remarks about him being unable to do anything. She felt Ron tense up, remembering he’d let it bother him before with Quidditch, she tried to sooth him when the Head Girl and Boy started.

“You know you can do this Ron. Just lead and I’ll follow, and remember, don’t worry if you think you got a silly step wrong, as long as you listen to the music, you can’t do anything wrong. You trust me right?”

It was after all the last sentence that did it. Hermione and Ron danced the one and a half song without serious injury, and with a good resemblance of grace, to Malfoy’s obvious annoyance.

Harry and Ginny seemed to be still alive as well. Soon Ginny went to Dean and Seamus to dance a bit with them, Ron was asked by a blushing fourth year Gryffindor, a friend of his youngest Chaser. Harry and Hermione opted to sit a bit first, but soon were asked for friendly dance proposals from everyone of the old DA, and some other friends. Hermione saw Neville dancing with Padma after a few spins with Luna, and Padma was actually blushing. She felt a swell of pride when she saw Harry ask Luna, who hadn’t been asked all night after Neville had ‘ditched’ her for Padma.

It was then also that she realised Harry knew about her crush on Ron, because midway in the song, he switched partners with Ron, who was dancing with Lavender. Hermione was pleasantly surprised when she saw them dance at least three songs in a road, after which Ron got them some punch... Harry and her, after dancing the ‘required’ songs with their acquaintances, had both opted to sit at their table, making comments on everything and anything.

All in all Hermione had a great time, and was sorry to hear that the next song was going to be the last...

Harry spoke to her: “Hermione, we haven’t danced yet. Care to have your toes crushed during the last dance?”

Hermione smiled brightly; she had thought he was avoiding dancing with her as not to encourage the rumours about any relationship they would be having: “I’d love to”

When the first tones of the last song rang, she almost gasped out loud. She knew that song, it was beautiful and intense, and to be quite frank a bit more then just sensual. She supposed the only reason it was played was because it was in French, and they assumed no one would understand, or at least not get the true meaning of the poetic words.

Harry took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Quite irrationally she felt nervous butterflies fluttering in her stomach. This was just Harry for goodness’ sake!

(*) translation below

//Quand tes cheveux s'étalent,

Comme un soleil d'été,

Et que ton oreiller,

Ressemble aux champs de blé,

Quand l'ombre et la lumière,

Dessinent sur ton corps,

Des montagnes, des forêts,

Et des îles aux trésors,

Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime, Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime!//

It suddenly struck her as odd that in all their practising, they hadn’t danced together before. So this was the first time ever. While Ron was much taller then Harry, she had gotten used to dance with Ron. But, even so, with Harry, it seemed odd to have him looking down at her, being half a head taller. He did look very handsome tonight. His attempt at flattening his hair had already failed to survive the trip down from the common rooms, and she always did feel special under his focused gaze.

//Quand ta bouche se fait douce,

Quand ton corps se fait dur,

Quand le ciel de tes yeux,

D'un seul coup n'est plus pur,

Quand tes mains voudraient bien,

Quand tes doigts n'osent pas,

Quand ta pudeur dit non,

D'une toute petite voix,

Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime, Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime!//

The combination of the content feeling she’d had from the ball nearly being at his end, without a major crisis, the beautiful song, and being in Harry’s arms made her feel like she had too much to drink. They hadn’t spoken only held the other’s gazes; it felt so intense, that if Hermione had been more of a typical *girlie*, she’d have swooned at his feet ages ago.

//Quand tu n'te sens plus chatte,

Et que tu deviens chienne,

Et qu'à l'appel du loup,

Tu brises enfin tes chaînes,

Quand ton premier soupir,

Se finit dans un cri,

Quand c'est moi qui dis non,

Quand c'est toi qui dit oui,

Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime, Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime!//

“Hermione,” Harry asked in his low rumbling voice, which made Hermione shiver, “is there anything going on between Ron and you?”

Way to kill the mood. Wait! What mood? What was she thinking?

Frowning she looked at him: “Why would you think that?”

Harry just shrugged: “Just, because...”

Hermione wanted the conversation to end: “Ron and I are friends, maybe even more then just friends, but he’s not my boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking”

//Quand mon corps sur ton corps,

Lourd comme un cheval mort,

Ne sait pas ne sait plus,

S'il existe encore,

Quand on a fait l'Amour,

Comme d'autres font la guerre,

Quand c'est moi le soldat,

Qui meure et qui la perd,

Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime, Que je t'aime, que je t'aime, que je t'aime!//

Hermione didn’t want to let him go. She wanted to spend the rest of the evening warm, inside his embrace. Why hadn’t she danced with him before? Now all she’d had was one song... Shaking her head, she deemed it about time to get to bed; she was having some thoughts that were too unsettling to be comfortable...

***

The next Sunday, of course, the ball was still the talk of the day. Harry and her seemed both so intent on forgetting the moment between them, that they were obtaining the opposite. Hermione couldn’t help but smile when she saw Luna come in the Great Hall for breakfast, looking so dreamy, she almost sat down at the Slytherin table. Ginny was teasing Ron with Luna, and Hermione saw that he finally *had* taken the hint and seen that Luna had it bad for him. She didn’t know what he thought of it yet. After all the redness behind his ears could be just a sign of shyness about being someone’s object of affection.

Ginny had danced at least twice with every boy in her acquaintance, which meant she hadn’t sat for a minute, and her muscles were paying the price today. With a mouthful of sausage Ron cheekily remarked to Harry and Hermione:

“You two shouldn’t have danced together yesterday... Next weekend is Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and you two together were advertising the wrong House colours (green-silver)”

Hermione just rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Harry and her were expected for a short lesson in Occlumency in Dumbledore’s office that day, and Hermione was pleasantly surprised when he finally agreed to teach her Occlumency properly. It was still quite draining, and Harry had to drag her to the Tower, afterwards. Ron had fallen asleep in one of the overstuffed chairs, waiting up for them.

Harry and Hermione settled in front of the fire, watching the wood being eaten by the flames. She was acutely aware of how close he was sitting, and of the whole new feeling that came with that awareness. A feeling, she realised, that she had been trying to repress for a long time now. It would not do to fall in love before she’d finished her education. She could not afford to get distracted... Harry levelled his green gaze on hers. What was she thinking again? Oh, yeah, falling in love... Who was falling in love? Certainly not her... The idea was just preposterous...

She couldn’t tell if Harry’s lips came down on hers, or if hers went up to meet his. What she did know, was that she was currently kissing her best friend, Harry Potter. How did that happen? Why did she care? How come this felt so right? What was it Ron had said again, about everything falling into place?

“Hmm, hmm,” speak of the devil.

Harry and Hermione jumped apart guiltily. Both quite red from embarrassment, they looked at their long time friend, who’d apparently chosen the best moment to wake up. Hermione saw a little bit of hurt in those blue eyes, but it was masked by the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. It became too much for Hermione, scrambling to her feet, she mumbled something, even she couldn’t understand, and quickly went up to her room.

She stayed on the stairs for a moment, when she realised she could easily eavesdrop on their conversation.

“About time”

“What do you mean?” Harry sounded quite startled.

“Well, you were dying to do that for some time now, didn’t you?”

“You’re not mad? I mean I thought... but then she said... and I didn’t know...”

“Harry... I’ll tell you the story one day, but, it’s not like she’s my property, she can do what ever she wants, and if she wants to date a wanker like you, then so be it...”

“Git”

After a prolongued silence, Hermione thought of going into her room, but then she heard Harry say: “I can’t do this, I can’t date her”

Hermione’s insides turned icy.

“Why the bloody hell not? You do know that the fact that you’re my best mate doesn’t protect you from the ass whooping you’re gonna get if you hurt her, don’t you?”

“I can’t do that, Ron! Think! She’s already a target, as are you, because you’re close to me. and the fact she’s a Muggleborn, with better OWL marks then Riddle doesn’t exactly makes the world a safer place for her. Can you imagine what will happen if they think we’re together?”

Ron snorted: “They already believe that stuff either way. You’ll have to do better then that...”

“I just can’t, Ron. If I lost her now, I would loose one of my two best friends in the whole world. If I let her get closer, I’ll just get more vulnerable/”

“Or stronger...” So Ron really wasn’t that dim-witted as he always showed himself to be.

“It would just be safer”

“For you. You know she’d die for you, as would I”

“Exactly, that’s what I’m afraid for”

Hermione blinked back tears in the darkness; she whispered, mostly to herself: “I’m not your mother, Harry... We’re not Sirius. I don’t want to die. But if it’s you or me, I know my choice. And if that’s the way you want it. I’ll make it easier for you”

With that in mind she prepared for bed. She laid awake a long time, determining her course of action. She was going to take the burden of denying the real meaning of the kiss upon her shoulders: she was going to act against her feelings...

***

(*) Note that this was kind of delicate to translate, but here you are:

When your hair’s splayed, As a summer’s sun, And your pillow, Resembles a cornfield, When the shadow and the light, Draw on your body, Mountains, forests, And treasure islands, How I love you, how I love you, I love you, How I love you, how I love you, I love you!

When your mouth grows soft, When your body hardens, When the sky in your eyes, Suddenly isn’t pure anymore, When your hands would want to, When your fingers don’t dare, When your pudency says no, With a very little voice, How I love you, how I love you, I love you, How I love you, how I love you, I love you!

When you stop being playful, And you answer to the animal inside, And at the call of the wolf, You finally break free from your chains, When your first sigh, Ends in a cry, When it’s me saying no, When it’s you saying yes, How I love you, how I love you, I love you, How I love you, how I love you, I love you!

When my body on your body, As a dead weight, Doesn’t know, doesn’t remember, If it still exists, When we made Love, Like others battle war, When I’m the private, Who dies and looses it (the war), How I love you, how I love you, I love you, How I love you, how I love you, I love you!

The song’s called: Que je t'aime, and it’s from Johnny Hallyday, a French singer...

***

Chapter 21 A leap in time

A few months later...

***

Hermione was busy studying for her Care of Magical Creatures NEWT. A lot of time had past since the Ball, and things had happened. The weekend of the ball had been the start of attacks on Muggles; Voldemort used Dementors as well as his Death Eaters. Unlike a decade ago, the Ministry seemed to know much sooner when and where the attacks were taking place.

It was the big mystery on how they could know all that information, since no one would live long enough to be able to lie to Voldemort, well except for Snape, but he was a master at Occlumency. And Hermione didn’t believe for a second that only his information enabled the Aurors and the Order to be at the place of the attack in time to minimise the damage.

It seemed to rub Voldemort the wrong way though, because he started to employ really erratic tactics; one week nothing would happen, and just when they hoped Voldemort had found some other business to occupy his mind with, he struck full force, attacking several places over all England at once.

Soon the memory spells couldn’t contain those happenings from the Muggle world. They first believed it were actions from the IRA or another vindictive terrorist group, now they were guessing it was an obscure cult. Dumbledore had arranged for all families of Muggleborns to have security wards, and Hermione, worried out of her mind, had been permitted to be the Secret Keeper of her parents.

Since the spell didn’t hide them from Muggles, they could go their way as always, and Hermione was still able to contact them with Dante... But no other wizard could find them. She still felt very grateful that Dumbledore had let her do this, since it was by no means an easy spell...

The atmosphere at Hogwarts was tense. Already two Aurors had been killed, Kingsley Shacklebolt had been in and out of the Hospital more times then Hermione cared to count. Bill and Fleur had been attacked once, and they’d barely escaped alive; Fleur had returned to France after that. Hermione didn’t really know what was happening with Charlie, but Mrs. Weasley seemed oddly evasive about him in her letters to Ron and Ginny.

The twins were apparently very busy, not only with their blooming business but with Order tasks also. Hermione couldn’t imagine what the twins input could be, but she didn’t want to tempt them to reveal secrets that could be crucial. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley hadn’t been injured, yet, thank heavens.

Hagrid was walking around exceptionally grave. Though Grawp was still in the Forbidden Forest, it seemed to finally down on him that the little giant would not learn English, nor manners. Since Hagrid, too, was confined to the grounds, for the children’s safety against the dark forest, since the centaurs had made it quite clear that no one was to penetrate their forest, he had taken to melancholy nights, drinking his brew until he passed out.

Firenze was still staying in the school, teaching Divination ‘alongside’ Trelawney. They’d just put 2 hours in the week for Divination, one class with her, another with him. Firenze also had taken to help Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing. Once, when Harry had been banged up after one of his matches, again, Firenze had given her a cryptic message. Later, with it, Hermione had found, without the help of Snape, how she could perfect the Wolfsbane potion, to be a painkiller, too. To make the combination of controlling the wolf’s mind and having a painless transformation, seemed impossible because of the incompatibility of the ingredients needed. But with a, in retrospect simple, change in the brewing method, the combination was harmless. This had as effect of making the potion near impossible to brew correctly, but the werewolf in question wouldn’t be so ill around the full moon.

Tonks was restless, and Lupins features were tenser than ever, despite the better potion. Hermione understood Tonks wanted to go out there more often to fight alongside her colleagues, but she was under strict orders to remain at Hogwarts to help ensure the students’ safety.

Hogsmead weekends had all been cancelled, and the Quidditch trainings were to be held with adult supervision at all times. Gryffindor had won both against Hufflepuff and Slytherin, and got the Cup again. Malfoy had been so angry, he’d snapped his broomstick over his knee, and had to be brought to the Hospital Wing to take care of the wound he’d inflicted on himself.

Speaking of Malfoy, he had contented himself to glares and sneers, and threatening glances, with an occasional warning to watch their backs. But otherwise he kept quiet. It really was quite unnerving. Hermione had even come to think that he was just playing mind games, making them believe he was up to something but just to make them paranoid. She only wished she could believe that theory, so that she could stop worrying.

Parkinson went her merry ordinary way. Not in the least inhibited by her prefect’s badge anymore, she didn’t spare her comments and horrid false rumours. She seemed to have gotten over her crush for Malfoy, since she wasn’t acting like his lapdog anymore. However, she had formed her own little group of Slytherin girl followers.

Rumour had it that there had been a horrible raw dividing the girls in the Slytherin House into two groups. But Slytherins kept their mouths tightly shut about the alleged rift between them. Anyway, the ringleaders would be Parkinson, versus the prefect, Rosalinda Rempinga. But details about what had been the cause or the motivation of the split were not available for truth-seekers.

Of course there had been casualties on the dark side also. Voldemort had finally caught up with Karkaroff, and his dead body had been sent to Durmstrang during lunchtime in their dining hall, creating quite a stir. They hadn’t heard or seen anything of Wormtail, but that was just fine for all of them. The Lestrange brothers had been killed during one of the first Muggle attacks.

Bellatrix, now the ‘Black Widow’, a nickname that seemed to be perfect for her, and Malfoy were the ringleaders of the Muggle attacks. Hermione was curious to know what Narcissa thought of the fact that her husband and her sister were in hiding together, alone... Rumour had it that they were also in charge of recruiting.

Most casualties on the dark side were the new wanna-be death eaters. Most were young, and hadn’t the Dark Mark yet, but were eager to prove themselves. They didn’t only perish at the hands of the Aurors, some were killed by Death Eaters themselves, or tortured into insanity, when they wanted out...

Harry was having a rough time, she knew he somehow felt responsible of Voldemort’s rebirth and that he should do something more then staying out of harm’s way and training students to duel. He studied with renewed vigour, and even Ron didn’t try to dissuade him to have more fun. On the contrary, Ron was studying as hard as possible too, even if he knew he wouldn’t be accepted into Auror training without a Potions NEWT. He and Neville consecrated their efforts on Herbology and Defence instead, so that they could be accepted in law enforcement anyway; after all, it weren’t just the Aurors working in that department.

Ginny went on as if nothing happened, it was her way of dealing, she was their ray of sunshine. Luna seemed to look for their company more often, especially Hermione’s. The girl had a way of growing on her, and Hermione was left guessing why the girl so obviously wanted *her* to accept her as she was. Especially when Luna was a girl who so didn’t care what people thought of her.

The trio was still the core, but was gradually becoming a group of six friends. For Hermione it made some things easier, like not talking about ‘the unmentionable’. The night after the kiss she’d shared with Harry, she had managed to convince herself that it had meant nothing to her, anyway. That resolve had been shattered the second she’d seen him the next morning. But they’d both avoided each other, and with the whirlwind of happenings outside the castle from that day on, they had managed to carry on as if nothing had happened.

This all worked well, as long as they weren’t left together alone. For all the years she had been sincerely baffled at the assumption of people that they would have feelings for each other, she now felt like Fortune’s fool. The more she tried to deny it to herself, the more it burned her. She tried to tell herself that there was no use pursuing these emotions, that it would ruin everything. Ron may have seemed fine with it, and maybe Harry did lo... like her that way, but the risk of loosing both their friendships over this was too enormous to even consider.

She thanked her lucky stars to have such a workload of studying to do, that she didn’t have enough time to ponder on the subject. She also embraced her Occlumency techniques to get some restful sleep at night. Though she knew Ginny was starting to guess what was happening with her, Hermione refused to talk about it, sensing it would make it more real if she did.

Hermione knew Harry and her had to talk about it sooner or later. She couldn’t keep that much inside for many more months, maybe years? Hermione thought about the Hogwarts’ saying: never tickle a dormant dragon... She felt as if that kiss had tickled the dragon awake, and she was now struggling to put him back to sleep. The only problem was, that even if she succeeded in making her feelings dormant, that that wasn’t enough, they’d still be there, they’d still exist...

Ron’s birthday had come and gone, and on special request he and some other students who were of age had gone to the Ministry to get their Apparating license. Harry had been studying to pass the test on his birthday. It nettled Hermione to no end that she wouldn’t be considered of age until September the next school year, while her boys would be doing magic all summer, or in Harry’s case the last half of the summer.

This last month, Voldemort had been remarkably quiet, almost as if he wanted to give the students a break during their exams. It worked out quite the opposite, since she was on edge to know what would come next. Of course she didn’t allow it to affect her work. They’d had their exams and the sixths years were now done. She was to appear in two hours before the NEWT inspectors, with the seventh years...

***

Ron was the only one of their year in the common room, waiting for her when she returned from her NEWTs. She was eager to know her results of the sixth year exams that were coming out that afternoon. Scanning the notice board, she saw most of her grades were satisfactory. She could have done better for Astrology and Ancient Runes, but decided to not let it bother her... too much.

Quickly looking at Ron and Harry’s scores, she was elated to see they had both done very well. Harry had just a passing note for Potions, but Hermione was inclined to believe he probably deserved more. Anyway, it didn’t matter that much, he was permitted to continue Potions next year, and would be tested before a neutral examinator for his NEWT. Harry’s Defence against Dark Arts note was slightly higher then hers, and Neville’s grade for Herbology came close second to hers. Ron didn’t really have peaks in one or the other subject, but his notes were quite high in every subject he’d taken this year.

Plopping down next to Ron, in front of the fire, she felt her muscles relax slowly, a bit painful. Ron asked her: “So it’s done? You’re not going to snap and shout anymore?”

Glaring at the red-head, she had to admit she was kind of a monster during the stressful exam period. But it wasn’t like she could really help it. Ignoring his remark she said:

“I see you and Harry did very well on your exams? Where is he anyway?”

“On another of his meetings with Dumbledore”

Hermione sighed at that, Harry knew a lot of what was going on, but he never betrayed Dumbledore’s trust. It was quite frustrating.

Ron continued: “What’s going on between you two, anyway? I mean, it’s been months now when I saw you two kiss, I thought I might as well go get my best man suit... And then/” He stopped abruptly.

“And then Harry decided it was too dangerous,” Ron looked at her, she shrugged, “So, I accidentally eavesdropped... So we just went on as if nothing happened. And it’s not like we’re both really deeply in love or anything, it was just a fluke, a reaction to everyone always assuming we were a couple”

“Gods, you two are such idiots! I’m out of here, going to find Luna. She may be convinced about some ludicrous ideas, but at least she honestly believes them. And is happy the way it is... That’s more then I can say for my two best friends”

Hermione was quite taken aback by that reaction; shouldn’t he be happy she wasn’t in love with Harry? Or like he said, that she convinced herself that she wasn’t? That brought her back to the greatest question of all: was she really in love with Harry James Potter? She had very strong feelings for him, and she knew she loved him dearly... But was she IN love with him? It seemed so silly. And at the same time it seemed not strong enough a description for what she felt for him...

Aimlessly she left the Gryffindor common room to wander around the castle. When she unwittingly passed the place of the Room of Requirement, she thought she desperately needed some answers, before she noticed a door already there. Unable to reign her curiosity, she opened the door. Only to find a dangerous scene. Before she could react, though, she heard someone yell *Obleviate!* just before her vision turned black.

***

Chapter 22 Remember

Blackness, fuzziness, fluttering white... Urgh, the hospital wing. How did she land in here? Looking around, trying to ignore the angry buzz against her skull from the inside, she saw Madam Pomfrey coming towards her.

“Stay still, Miss Granger, I’ll check you in a minute”

Hermione burned to ask questions, especially about how she got there. While the nurse was running through some standard procedures to find out what happened, she heard the door open and close. During the moment it stood open, she could hear Ginny plead to let them in.

“Miss Granger,” Dumbledore stood there with Harry, “Can you tell us what happened?”

Hermione blushed at being confronted with Harry... “Eumh, I remember coming down from my first Occlumency lesson, and then in the common room... I went to my dormitory, and then... it gets fuzzy... what happened?”

Hermione only looked up at them now, being that she was embarrassed of thinking about the kiss, and the eavesdropping, in the presence of two wizards able of Legilimency. That’s how she’d managed to miss the look of horror on Harry’s face, and the twinkle-free demeanour of Dumbledore, until now. Then she suddenly had a flash; darkness, trees, the sound of hooves, ...

“Grawp! What? What happened, how long have I been out? Why am I here?”

“Calm yourself, Miss Granger,” Dumbledore seemed to have not understood what she meant by Grawp, then again you never knew with that wizard... “You are perfectly well. You were found by Hagrid in the forbidden forest. And as far as we know you only lost consciousness for about an hour or so. However, it seems as if the cause of your condition would be, or a Memory Charm, or a severe injury causing amnesia, but I doubt the latter was the case, since we have found no proof of physical injury on you. Miss Granger, you believe we are still at the end of January, but we’re mid-June...”

Hermione tried to process what her Professor was telling her; mid-June? Her exams! What had been happening all this time? What had happened with Voldemort? Looking around furtively, she didn’t know what to think. Harry! What was happening between him and her? Why was she in the Dark Forest? Why had she been charmed, had she seen something?

Dumbledore continued: “Miss Granger, we have reason to believe that you have seen something that may prove of great importance. Important enough to not only memory charm you, but to leave you defenceless in the forest... I have to ask for your permission to try and break the charm inside your mind...”

Hermione looked at her Headmaster. Had he just asked what she thought he asked? Memory Charms were delicate spells. And though Hermione didn’t particularly want to go on in life with a great hunk out of her memory, she wasn’t that comfortable with the Headmaster performing a dangerous sort of Legilimency... Things could go wrong, and her mind would be messed up beyond repair. Of course even if she left it untreated, it could act as a virus inside her memory, eating away her knowledge... she shuddered at the idea.

And besides, it had to be done, they had to find out! And she rather did that then sit around and do nothing. She looked at Harry to get some silent support, but he avoided her gaze. Dumbledore left her bedside, telling her to think about it. She barely noticed; she was thinking about Harry’s non-reaction.

What had happened? Probably nothing, and now he was annoyed to go through the ‘thing after the kiss’ *again*. She vaguely remembered what she’d overheard. He didn’t intend to date her, she still felt the after-effects of that kiss, like it happened just minutes ago... In her mind it did... She felt like she lost herself in the sensation, which, combined with the knowledge he didn’t want her, was very painful... He hadn’t meant to kiss her, it had just been a moment, what was she thinking anyway? He was Harry bloody Potter, she was the know-it-all bookworm...

Hermione could barely bear the awkward moment as the rest was filling in the room around her bed.

Ginny rushed to her side: “Hermione, are you all right? Dumbledore said you can’t remember anything for a good couple of months, and that we shouldn’t force your memory... Is it true? But since when, I mean, can you tell us what you *do* remember?”

When Hermione tried to tell them that without divulging the private details, she remembered Ron. Guiltily she looked at him. She felt she was betraying him with those feelings for Harry. She’d promised him she didn’t feel anything for his best mate, and now it looked like she’d lied without knowing... Oh, this was so complicated. She was Hermione Granger, silly things like that shouldn’t really bother her.

Ron returned her look, and looked confused at her guilt, until he heard where her memory stopped. Soon Harry, Ron, as well as herself, were feeling extremely uncomfortable, which was very queer, with Ginny, Neville and Luna completely oblivious. Hermione felt the tension suffocating her. Why were Luna and Neville here, too? Sure they were becoming good friends, but to be that worried about her? Maybe they’d gotten closer during these last months?

Harry stood abruptly: “I’m going to see if Dumbledore needs me...”

He took off at high speed, and it hurt more then it confused her. Though her puzzlement increased when Ginny, Neville and Luna seemed very startled about this...

Ron was non too subtle when he asked the other three to go find Madam Pomfrey to find out if Hermione could leave soon. It was quite plain he wanted to talk to her in private. Hermione didn’t know if she should be glad or scared. She felt his eyes on her but couldn’t raise hers; he must think I’m such a... well she didn’t know what, but not something very nice. If she let herself think too deeply about her situation she’d feel like screaming.

“Hermione... Look, I know we’re not supposed to tell you anything about what happened, to not confuse you any more, but... Blimey, this is sappy... Listen if you want to talk about what happened that night, I’m here for you, ok? I saw what happened and beside Harry and you, I’m the only one who knows about it. You didn’t even tell Ginny...”

Hermione felt like crying, as a matter a fact she felt her eyes watering up. Ron was really nice about it? Wasn’t he even mad or jealous a little bit? Why couldn’t she just remember? Looking up she looked at him pleadingly:

“Ron, please, you have to tell me... Does Harry hate me or something? Because, well I remember vaguely hearing something before everything gets very fuzzy in my mind. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you and Ron discussing it when I left. I know Harry doesn’t want to be with me... So what happened after that?”

Ron looked at her like he had an epiphany: “Well that explains it! Damnit, Hermione, I don’t know how you interpreted what you heard, but you just ignored him the whole week! Harry didn’t do anything about it, for a Gryffindor he can be quite the coward; you convinced him the kiss in the common room was something you wanted to forget about, and you just studied and only talked to us when we were in group... You have everyone else convinced that you two are just friends like always, and you thought you had me convinced that neither cared one way or another about the kiss. But then again, you always underestimated me”

Ron ended, sounding bitter; without giving Hermione a breather, he continued: “Look, I just can’t stand it anymore. You and Harry were constantly ignoring the tension between you two, and what’s worse, whenever I tried to breach the subject with one or the other, you’d just lie through your teeth, in my face, that you’re just friends, and better off that way. As a matter a fact, we were arguing about just that when you decided to have a stroll all by your lonesome self, Heaven knows where, which got you in this situation...”

Ok, so they just went on like nothing happened, and like nothing changed, but Ron believed everything did change... Was he wishful thinking; no that couldn’t be. Why would he *want* that change? And how had he gotten it in his head that Harry would return the feelings she felt? Hermione’s head started to hurt. She saw her wand lying on the table next to her bed.

“Simpratus!” Pointing the spell at her head, she felt like a cool cloth had been passed over her forehead. Ron looked at her in shock.

“What?”

“You didn’t know how to do that spell, until our last DA club meeting...”

Realising what this meant, she looked at Ron. He spurted away to get Dumbledore, and when Ginny got back, she asked the younger witch to go get some books and notes from her room to see if there was other knowledge she’d acquired during the time-lapse in her memory, that hadn’t been charmed away.

By the time Dumbledore came down, with Harry and Ron, she had established that indeed all knowledge she had to have been cramming for her exams, was intact. How her mind had been able to resist that, though, she had no idea of. Dumbledore was twinkling as usual after hearing this news.

“Of course. Miss Granger, you do not remember, but you have become quite good at Occlumency. I believe you should’ve known by now, the only way to really resist a Memory Charm, is an immediate counter-curse, before it hits you, or a strong mental defence, which translates to being able to practise Occlumency. I’m inclined to believe your mind instinctively tried to block it, even though you obviously didn’t see the spell coming, since you know how to perform its counter in your sleep...”

“But where does that leave me, Professor? I mean I still can’t remember all the rest, or will I? Given time? ... Time we don’t have... Could you try and break the charm right away, Headmaster?”

She looked up at the old wizard determined: “That I will not do, Miss Granger. I have re-evaluated the situation, and I believe Harry should do this”

Harry looked at his mentor like he’d just decided: ‘ok, Dumbledore’s not a genius but a lunatic!’... Hermione didn’t hear anything that happened after that, she was just in shock. How was she going to stay strong when Harry was to look through her mind, her emotions would not be secret any more, and how was she to trust him that he wouldn’t mess up? I mean she trusted Harry with her life, but this was much more delicate...

Only when Dumbledore had sent everyone but her and Harry away, and transported them to his office, she came out of her world of thought. “Miss Granger, I believe the sooner we get on with this, will be the better. Now, if you please excuse me...”

Harry and her were left alone. Tense they were sitting next to each other, Harry twirling his wand, frowning a bit in concentration.

“Harry? It’s ok, you can do it... You have my complete trust, and if Dumbledore trusts you can do this, then just get on with it!”

Harry looked at her with that intense stare of his. She always was weary of those green eyes... Feeling herself become quite defenceless, she struggled against her weakness. “No, Hermione, you shouldn’t...”

Harry sighed and got up. Placing his wand on a desk, he knelt in front of her. Her heart started beating so loudly, she was afraid he would hear. Oh, for heaven’s sake, she was Hermione Granger, she stubbornly refused to get all swoony at the sight of Harry Potter kneeling in front of her.

Pinned in place by his intense gaze, she hardly took breaths and felt almost hypnotised. She felt the kind of gentle poking around in her skull, like she’d felt the first time he had her under Legilimens. Out of reflex she pushed it away. Harry acted frustrated: “This isn’t working! Hermione! You’re not supposed to push me away! I’m the one who’s got to fix this! Just let me do my job!”

Taken aback a bit, Hermione felt her anger boiling, who did he think he was? These words seemed oddly dual; like with the kiss-and-no-dating as well as in this particular case. “Maybe you just aren’t good enough... Then again, you won’t even try. I’m going to get Dumbledore...”

Standing up and walking to the door, she hadn’t counted on Harry being so fast on his feet, grabbing her arm to stop her.

“So I’m not good enough, hé? Tell me, that evening you just happen to remember last? Do you remember everything that happened? Or did you conveniently forgot some parts?”

Hermione was at the end of her rope. This was just too much. “How could I forget! One moment I’m having the epiphany of the century, thinking something in my life finally clicked without having to make sense. Then I hear the guy who tore down all my defences in only a few seconds, tell his best mate that he has no intension of pursuing what he started!”

Harry’s grip on her arms didn’t relinquish, but, indeed, started to hurt. “I started? *I* started! That’s rich! I distinctly remember you kissing *me* first/”

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point?”

Hermione faltered, logic didn’t have his place here. She felt lost and naked, scared and powerless. Somehow she had gotten with her back against the entrance to the office, Harry having a good grip on both arms. Harry’s eyes were ablaze with frustration and anger, and all she could manage was stare back and trying to remember to breathe.

Suddenly his lips were on hers, in a kiss very unlike their first. Incapable of doing much more then taking his assault and moaning pitifully in protest, she soon melted in a puddle of defenceless numbness. Powerless to resist him she let him control her. Sensing the rising magical power coming from him, she couldn’t care less. It made her feel proud, though, in the deepest part of her womanly brain that she was the one who could make him loose it like that.

After what seemed an eternity, he drew back slightly, locking stares with her. She was still reeling from his kisses when she suddenly felt flashes assault her brain. Things that had been happening since January: articles of Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Harry, the Fidelius Charm, Luna, exams, Ron, Room of Requirement, Theodore Nott, Bellatrix’s head in the fireplace, Malfoy’s voice, the forest, Bane, Grawp, blackness.

Before she felt darkness completely come over herself, she felt familiar arms holding her up...

***

Chapter 23 Neville! No!

WARNING: characters loose their lives here!!! See to it that tissues are in close range, if you’re a sensitive soul!

***

Gingerly bringing her hand to her head, Hermione opened her eyes groggily. She was going to have to stop this from becoming a habit. Waking up in the Hospital Wing, again, she let her thoughts come to her. It was a very weird feeling to have, even if it was just a couple of hours, tops, knowing of an event happen to you, where you didn’t know a certain part of your past, and acted without the knowledge of said past. Even trying to define that concept in her head made it hurt...

Pondering on how long she’d been out now, she saw it was already night... Nott! He had been talking to Bellatrix with Floo in the Room of Requirement! Why hadn’t they thought of that before?! Last year the Slytherins had known about the room, following Umbridge’s instructions to capture the DA members... So of course they could’ve figured out, the fire places in Hogwarts were being watched by Dumbledore or the Ministry, but not one who appeared at will...

How long had they been doing that? Was there some kind of plan to attack the school, with help from inside? But Snape would be more convenient to have in on this plan, no? What could the likes of Nott and Malfoy junior really *do*? Because it was the little blond sh*t that had memory charmed her! She recognized the voice, but did Harry? Oh, the evil little brat was so going to regret that!

Climbing out of her bed, she wanted some answers as soon as possible. But going towards the doors, she suddenly felt a restricting arm around her middle, grabbing the hand that held her wand and a gloved hand covering her mouth.

“I thought we already dealt with you?” The cold disembodied voice was that of Malfoy; Hermione’s insides suddenly felt like ice... “I’m already in trouble because of your little filth, so I’m taking my guarantee with me... I’m sure the Dark Lord will appreciate the little gift. Now come on with you”

Swishing his Invisibility Cloak over her also, she tried to bite his hand and kick him to get him away. He only chuckled at her antics; his gloves must protect him from her teeth, because he just magically petrified her. “Ok, the hard way then, Mudblood...”

Levitating her slowly he made sure the Cloak covered them both. He led her to the Whomping Willow. She felt surprise for a minute when he prodded the knot with a stick, before she remembered Wormtail was on the Dark Side. Feeling the fates had quite a sense for irony, she saw it was the full moon...

When he’d brought her powerless body into the Shrieking Shack, she felt the effects of the Petrificus Totalus subside. But she chose to pretend for a while, it could be of some use to surprise him... She saw him finger the clasp of his outer robe in a special manner and tried to guess what he was doing. He levelled his gaze back to her. Raising his wand, she didn’t wait for him to cast the spell, but she dove away.

He had wanted to bind her with ropes, but was startled when she dove right at him and knocked his wand out of his hands. Her victory was short-lived, because Malfoy had no qualms in physically hurting a girl. Reeling back from his hard backhand, she tasted blood on her lip. Desperately she tried to fall back on Tonks’ lessons, but his clothing seemed to protect him from most of her blows... However, she was able to retrieve her wand from his robes and wiping the blood from her lips with the back of her hand, she stood pointing the tip of her wand at Malfoy on the floor.

She didn’t get the time to think of anything, though. She had to blink to believe it. She was confronted with the eyes featuring in her nightmares most. Dolohov had apparated between her and Malfoy. He sneered at her.

Of course, the clasp! Malfoy must have sent some signal... Behind her she heard two cracks. She was surrounded! Swivelling around she saw Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy standing there. However their attention wasn’t on her, but on their nephew and son. Lucius looked at Draco with distinct distaste.

“Where is Theo? And I thought she was dealt with! How do you *dare* call us!”

Bellatrix simpered and slithered up her brother-in-law’s arm: “Calm, lover,” Draco’s eyes flashed with anger, Lucius’ with annoyance at her indiscretion, “I’m sure our little dragon has a perfectly good excuse for all this”

Letting go of senior Malfoy, she brushed past Hermione who was held in place by Dolohov, advancing in a dangerous seductress way to junior.

Hermione saw Draco gulp with fear, he stammered his explication, while Bellatrix held his gaze. ‘She’s trying to see if he’s trying to lie!’

Lucius didn’t at all seem appeased at the explanation. “You mean that because you’re incapable of taking care of a minor problem like a nosey Mudblood, you lost our best agent inside of Hogwarts! And instead of doing some damage control for yourself, you give yourself completely away by letting us take care of your Mudblood problem! Bella...” He made a dismissive hand gesture.

Bellatrix’ eyes lit up maniacally when she put Draco under the Cruciatus curse. Hermione winced, even if it was the little bugger, she didn’t really feel he deserved that much pain. She saw the betrayal burning in Draco’s eyes, when he looked at his father. She could’ve guessed he didn’t for a minute expect his father would do that to him, he was used of his father taking care of his problems, not being punished this way...

Bellatrix held it up quite long, and when she finally released him from it, he was panting on the floor pitifully. Lucius looked at his son in disgust; marching up to him, he pulled the teen up by his hair. “You’re a disgrace to the Malfoy name” With that he shoved Draco away from him, to let him pass out in peace, and turned to Hermione.

Bellatrix smiled her lunatic smile: “Antonin, don’t get your hands that dirty! Let her go, I like a good chase”

Hermione’s eyes widened when she felt Dolohovs hands release her; they expected her to run, while they could just fire away curse after curse at her back? She raised her wand to them, and tried to back away. They just started laughing...

Dolohov spoke: “You want to duel? Maybe you think you’ll stand a better chance against my Pheanostus curse that way? Care to know if you can survive it twice?”

Lucius looked at her in utter contempt: “You’re just a little Mudblood student; you really think you can handle us?” All twisted mirth disappeared from his attitude. “You really think you’re better then our Dark Lord? You’re but dirt, an infestation in our world. I should love to torture that into your skull, but you’re not worth the time... well not that much of time, anyway”

His words weren’t even cold before she saw Dolohov raise his wand, ready to do his swishing movement. “Protego!” She still felt the excruciating pain, but didn’t seem otherwise injured.

Before she could come to, though, Bellatrix shouted: “Crucio!”

The pain was beyond words, she was writhing on the dirty floor, praying for the Avada Kedavra, anything but what she had to endure now... After what seemed an eternity, it stopped. Trembling violently, she couldn’t move a muscle. She barely heard Bellatrix taunting her to get up and run to safety.

She vaguely heard Malfoy declaring they’d wasted enough time. “Avada...” unable to do anything but squeeze her eyes shut she didn’t see what had brushed her cheek, “Kedavra!” Hermione never felt anything...

***

Opening her eyes, she saw Crookshanks lying in front of her, dead... With a new adrenaline rush coursing through her, she sprang up.

“So, you found out how to destroy them...” Harry’s voice rang through the room as a soothing potion on her painful body.

Backing away to where she’d heard it originating, she felt a hand push her behind Harry and Ron. Neville, Ginny and Luna were there, too. How did they know where she was, and why hadn’t they brought an adult? And what was Harry talking about?

Lucius looked furious: “Do you really think we could be fooled like that? Our Dark Lord knows, and you have lost your advantage over us. Though it was quite devious to have them shut down whenever our Lord was near, made it a little more difficult to destroy... Now we’re free again”

Hermione, who had been staring at Crookshanks’ body for a moment, saw Bellatrix finger one of her earrings, she whispered quickly into Harry’s ear: “Harry, they’re calling back-up!” He didn’t acknowledge her warning, but he must have heard her, surely?

Harry snorted: “Free? You’re licking a half blood’s arse, grovelling at his feet, at his beck and call... You’re calling that freedom?”

Bellatrix eyes literally flashed red from anger. She screamed like a fury, and pointed her wand in their general direction. They scattered away from her aim, all accept Neville. Like a man in rage he stormed towards her, yelling the disarming spell. Fate had it that their spells connected mid-air, creating an arch. Before Hermione could fully understand that it had to be brother wands, a splitting scream filled the room.

Everybody ducked, covering their ears. Some part of her mind reminded herself that Neville’s new wand contained the hair of a banshee. Bellatrix brought her wand down, breaking the connection, and looked bewildered. Neville didn’t waste any time. He shot a disarming spell towards her. Unable to stop it, she shouted an unfamiliar incantation. To Hermione’s horror, the wand transformed itself into a sword, which was pelting speedily with the sharp point towards Neville.

Ginny reacted by shouting the levitation spell; Neville shot into the air, while shouting a banishing spell. The sword swivelled sharply at the place Neville had just stood, and with double speed went into Bellatrix. With a piercing scream she fell to her knees, looking at the sword in her stomach. Neville hit his head on the ceiling and dropping down again, he was out.

All present in the Shrieking Shack were petrified, when a few cracks filled the room. There stood Crabbe and Goyle senior, with Wormtail in their midst. They looked around stupidly, before seeing Bellatrix taking the hilt of the sword and tearing it out of her body. Coughing up blood, the sword transfigured back to her wand.

Before anyone could stop her, she yelled the killing curse at Neville before collapsing.

“No!” She didn’t know who of them had yelled. Neville hadn’t moved, when the curse had hit him, but they all knew their friend was dead. He had revenged his parents, but lost his life...

Lucius in the mean time looked murderously. “You killed her! Avada Kedavra!” Harry tried to dodge, but Fawkes had flown in the path of it, making him burst in a pile of dust, she had not a lot of time to think when the room was filled with curses. From the corner of her eye she saw McGonagall, Tonks and a big werewolf enter the Shack. Harry and Ron were duelling Malfoy senior, who seemed to be a little exhausted after his second killing curse. Ginny was kneeling beside Neville, with Luna watching her back, McGonagall and Tonks were handling Dolohov, Crabbe and Goyle.

She saw Draco Malfoy stir in the corner, but before she could make sure he was unable to participate in the fight, she heard a dangerous growl and yelp. Remus, since his potion gave him power over the mind of the wolf, without feeling the pain of that effort, was obviously not useless around the full moon any more...

He had immediately leapt at Wormtail, the traitor, but hadn’t counted on the silver hand. Werewolves were highly allergic to sliver, it burned them excruciatingly. Quickly going over her options, she dismissed transfiguration spells or destructive charms, since the hand must be of strong magic, and not so easily disarmed. While Remus was circling Wormtail, avoiding the curses the bald man threw with his magical hand, Hermione tried to go around it in a more barbaric way, sending a whispered severing charm to his arm.

The charm hit him in the shoulder but wasn’t strong enough to actually make his arm fall off. Pettigrew turned to her menacingly, while he touched the magical hand to the wound she caused. It healed instantly. Before he could send a spell her way, Remus had taken the opportunity to jump on his back, and bite in his neck. Hitting the wolf with his silver hand, Wormtail plopped to his rat-form while Remus howled in pain.

But it was no use, Remus had obviously bit hard, because the bleeding rat was unable to shake the binding spell Hermione threw on him. Running to the panting werewolf, she saw he was bleeding, too. Quickly taking of her robes, leaving her in her nightdress only, she pushed it on the swelling wound. It was the only thing she could do, only a potion would save him from slowly bleeding to death.

Looking around, she saw McGonagall and Tonks still fighting the three wizards, and Ginny was guarding the motionless bodies of Ron and Luna, she hoped they were just unconscious. Harry was still duelling Malfoy. She saw Draco come stand behind his father’s opponent, and she started yelling to Harry to watch out.

But Draco raised his wand and used the Pheanostus curse on his father. Stunned Lucius fell on his knees, looking at his son. The spell, properly cast, created a deep slice. The gash was deep and bled rapidly. Malfoy fell next to his lover, increasing the width of the puddle of blood. Harry looked shocked at the Slytherin classmate. Draco Malfoy turned back to Harry, eyes full of hate: “You’re mine, Potter! I told you to watch your back!”

Before Draco could even raise his wand to make good on his threat Dumbledore arrived on the scene and stunned him. Quickly the remainder of the Death Eaters that were still alive were restrained. A loaded silence came over the room.

McGonagall was holding her wand raised to the bound Death Eaters, looking quite shaken. Professor Dumbledore brought Pettigrew back to his now lifeless human form. Harry stood trembling in place, looking at the bodies of Malfoy and Bellatrix.

Little baby Fawkes was crying from the floor, Ron had been revived from the stunner, and was bending over Luna. Her hair was a bit bloody, so Hermione guessed she had been hit over the head. Ginny had crawled back to Neville, her freckles stood out in sharp relief on her very pale face. Turning his body over, she started shaking it, desperately trying to revive him with her wand. Her cries filled the room. Tonks tried to calm her by putting her arm on her shoulder.

That’s when Remus gave a soft yelp. Looking quickly down, she saw her robes were soaked in blood, her hands also. The wolf was panting. Panicking all she could do was watch. Vaguely she felt Tonks push her aside, handling a vial with trembling fingers. Applying the potion, the flesh stopped swelling immediately and the wound started to heal fast. The wolf’s eyes rolled back in his head, but he continued breathing, however erratic.

Tonks had taken Remus’ wolf-head in her arms and was rocking him gently, whispering words of endearment and support, mixed with pleadings of not leaving her. Hermione looked down at her bloody hands, to Neville, with the sobbing Ginny on him. Ron had put Luna’s head on his lap and was watching Neville.

While Dumbledore touched his wand to Luna’s head, Hermione saw Harry shaking. Recognizing that expression as overwhelming grief, without having something to take it out on, she walked up to him. She whispered: “Harry”

His gaze swivelled to her. His eyes were burning with intense pain; he looked so scary, she had to scramble all of her resolve to proceed. Stumbling her way towards him, she crushed him in a hug. Feeling his body against her cold, battered one, she broke down, sobbing. He stayed immobile. Looking up she saw his face was devoid of any emotion, making him scarier then before.

Unable to feel scared, though, after everything she’d just been through, she just grabbed his robes, uncaring if she got Remus’ blood all over them. She shook the bunch of cloth in her hands feebly, until he looked at her. His eyes flashed with anger when he brought his hand to her face. Hermione almost flinched, before she realised he was watching her swollen cheek, from the blows Draco Malfoy had given her. Caressing it gently, she shivered.

She wished he’d put his arms around her, because she didn’t feel that strong, she leaned fully on him. Suddenly a brush at her legs almost made her jump, if only she had the strength left... Looking down she saw to her shock it was Crookshanks! Before she could formulate the question that was on the tip of her tongue, she heard a familiar, but impossible voice say:

“Looks like your cat has nine lives”

Neville? Hermione felt her knees give, oh no, not again, surly it wasn’t healthy to pass out this often... Before blackness took her away, she felt the reassuring embrace of Harry catching her.

***

Chapter 24 Love is hope

On the train back home, Hermione couldn’t help but feel empty. Though her head was full with new information, her chest seemed to echo every heartbeat... It had been a week since that faithful night. Neville had died, but had chosen to stay back as a ghost... He took it upon himself to patrol the Room of Requirement now, since it appeared ghosts who hadn’t entered it while they had been alive couldn’t penetrate it.

It felt extremely surreal. Neville was gone, but not totally... And he seemed happy, which was very queer. His grandmother had come to Hogwarts. The formidable woman was devastated over her grandson’s death, but she had told him how proud she was that he had avenged his parents...

Tonks had spent every spare time of hers at Remus’ bed. He was till recovering, but there were good chances that he would pull through completely. Hermione saw how his eyes lit up on one of the rare times she could liberate herself from Auror duties, which wasn’t often any more... Hermione asked herself what would become of them, now that their relationship wasn’t that secret anymore for anyone with eyes...

Luna was alright now, totally recovered from her head trauma. When she had been told Ron had stayed by her side the entire time she was in the hospital unconscious, she had almost floated right out of her bed. With Ginny gone, Hermione had found it her duty to watch over the girl, since Ron was still not comfortable with staying by her side while she was conscious...

Ginny had been thoroughly confused, last time Harry and Ron had seen her, but she had been taken away by McGonagall, due to complications at the Ministry. Just before everything had been going on at the Shrieking Shack, Death Eaters had managed to infiltrate their way to Madam Bones, and she had been murdered. Mr. Galfadus had been made emergency Minister, since he had been the only candidate, and because no one else had the courage after the murder.

His first order of business had been to let Fudge run the department of Law Enforcement, and grant a temporary custody at Percy for Ginny, since Ron was now of age, they couldn’t rule over him any more. That’s why Ginny had been taken to the unplottable Grimmauld Place... Hermione started to believe there was something about Ginny Galfadus wanted, maybe it had to do with her dealings with Tom Riddle’s diary? Anyway, she agreed that Ginny would not be safe there, even if they were breaking the law to keep her away.

They explained Ginny’s disappearance as running away when one of her close friends had died. The Ministry was now wasting their time searching for the girl... One thing they could not deny, was clearing Sirius Black’s name. Oh, they tried, but presented with the (freshly) dead body of Pettigrew, and the silver hand and ability of rat-Animagus being consistent with everything they had been telling everyone for years now, couldn’t be ignored.

The Daily Prophet had been releasing extra editions for a whole week now. Reporting the dealings at the Ministry and Hogwarts, details about the death of Pettigrew and Sirius Black, last year, and the death of Malfoy senior at the hand of his teen son, and the teen wizard Theodore Nott, being a spy for Voldemort, they apparently saw nothing wrong in the business of putting Fudge back in a position of power. Of course, the death of Bellatrix Lestrange, by Neville Longbottom, and his death, had been thoroughly reported on also, declaring the best friend of Harry Potter a hero...

Ron hadn’t even remarked on all the articles declaring Neville Harry’s best friend. He’d been silently missing his sister, and was just as her overwhelmed with the storm of information they’d gotten the last week.

When she’d woken up at the Hospital Wing, around noon the next day, she had to tell her story in front of Dumbledore and an Auror. She’d avoided talking about the cryptic banter between Malfoy Senior and Harry, but had asked Dumbledore about it, as soon as she had the opportunity.

Since there was no need in keeping the secret anymore, the Headmaster had summoned her, Ron and Luna to his office, Harry being already there. Ginny had been there also, freshly out of the Headmaster’s hearth.

They’d explained that they had always known they couldn’t contain the captured Death Eaters in any way. Even the strongest spells, couldn’t conceal them, since the Dark Mark bound them so strongly to their Lord. So they’d adopted a different tactic. Inspired by Muggle techniques, and with the genius of the Weasley twins, they had created a special sort of charm.

Dumbledore made sure to have the strongest containing spells and the severest security around the Death Eaters, knowing it wouldn’t matter anyway, but not willing to let Voldemort in on that. The longer they could contain them, the better, after all. They’d put a special kind of tracking charm on them. Once Voldemort freed them, it would alert the Order of the Phoenix where the Death Eaters were at all times, but it would deactivate if they were in close range of Voldemort, since he had the reputation of smelling magic a mile away.

So all this time there hadn’t really been a leak in Voldemort’s camp, but they’d just been tracked. When one Muggle attack had been successful, Voldemort had made the connection that there hadn’t been any Death Eaters present in that attack who had been imprisoned last year at the Ministry. After knowing that, it was only a small step to destroy the charms; well it had taken him over a month of extensive research to manage. That’s how he’d succeeded to murder Madam Bones, to make an example that he wasn’t to be trifled with.

The day she had been memory charmed, Nott had to report on the whereabouts of all those at Hogwarts. Dumbledore, Tonks, Remus, Harry, Ron and herself were on the top of that list. Theodore Nott had never been obvious about his loyalties, so he made a better ‘agent’ then Malfoy, who was only called on to watch his back when he had to contact the elders. They’d gotten all that out of Nott with Veritaserum, while she was still unconscious of getting her memory back and Harry had alerted Dumbledore on what he’d seen in her mind... Just then the message came about the attack on the Minister.

Dumbledore had left Hogwarts at once, making sure Theodore Nott would not escape and asking Snape to locate Malfoy, because of the information extracted form Nott. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville had been waiting outside to hear any news about what would happen with Nott. Harry had indeed not recognized the voice that had yelled the memory charm at Hermione, so not one of them cared about checking him, yet.

Malfoy, in the mean time had gotten wind of Hermione being in the Hospital Wing and Nott being called to the Headmaster’s office, so he panicked and took Hermione with him. Crookshanks had been her saviour even before he’d caught the killing curse for her; since he’d seen what Malfoy did and had ran to Harry’s dormitory for the Map. Her cat had found Harry and the rest in the nick of time. Seeing hers and Malfoy’s dot disappear at the edge of the Map in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, they’d not wasted any time to follow.

The tunnel had been warded to alarm the staff room and the Headmaster’s office, when someone used the passage. Since most professors were busy correcting exam papers in their own office, it wasn’t until later that McGonagall had noticed the tip-off. She’d tried to reach Snape, but he’d already been busy locating Malfoy, and she’d went for Tonks, who was keeping wolf Remus company while correcting papers for Defence against the Dark Arts...

That’s how they’d come to help; Remus normally wouldn’t have come, but he was restless, sensing something... They hadn’t imagined the scene they had found, though. When Snape had been fruitless in finding anyone, he’d noticed the tip-off of the wards to the Shrieking Shack, also. Feeling something was wrong also, he’d called for Dumbledore on an Order communication device to come back at once. That is how Dumbledore had come to the scene in time.

After Hermione had passed out in the Shrieking Shack, Dumbledore had taken everyone back to Hogwarts, Neville floating behind and after sending Ginny away with McGonagall, had called in the Ministry. Aurors had taken away young Malfoy and Nott, Crabbe, Goyle and Dolohov to the Ministry and picked up the bodies of Pettigrew, Bellatrix and Lucius later on the day. They’d interrogated everyone on what had happened, and despite Fudge’s efforts to klutz up the investigation and make Dumbledore look bad, the Aurors had their pride and hadn’t forgotten the poor decisions he’d made as Minister, so they did everything their way, which was fairly fair...

After their explanations, everyone went a bit his or her way. Ginny was to go back to the Grimmauld Place, Ron wanted to ponder on it on his own, Luna wanted to go pack already, and Harry was more distant then ever... He blamed himself for Neville’s death, even though Neville himself had told him it wasn’t his fault. Hermione suspected there was also a bit of ‘Bellatrix killed Sirius, and I couldn’t avenge him, Neville got there first’ eating at him.

Hermione had been pretty redrawn herself. Spending time first in her bed at the Hospital Wing to recover from her exhaustion, and making sure Luna and Lupin were ok, she spend the rest of her days in the library. She’d had the results of her NEWT, she’d passed with an E, not as high as she’d wanted too, but she had her NEWT. Ron was barely talking to her, but their silences weren’t awkward, just easy and companionable, coming to from the events together.

Harry spent all his time at Remus’ bedside and Dumbledore’s office, and sometimes on the Quidditch Pitch, flying like a lunatic. He spent his meals with his friends, but you couldn’t get a decent word out of him. Hermione knew he didn’t want to go back to his relatives, again, even if it probably would be for the last time... But that couldn’t be all he worried about?

Hermione felt at an impasse with him. She was now sure she loved him, and on a certain level, she was sure he loved her. But she couldn’t deal with the mixed signals. He’d never denied he loved her, but never said he loved her, either. He’d been making lame excuses for not wanting to date her, and Hermione was left doubting if he just didn’t want her that way, or if he really believed that nonsense about bringing her more in danger that way.

The kiss in Dumbledore’s office was branded in her soul. She knew she’d never be able to wipe it out of her sensory memory, no matter how hard she tried. But she was left wondering what it meant to Harry. Ok, since he only radiated raw magic when he experienced strong emotions, this left two possibilities. One, he really, really liked her; two, he was a teenage boy who had very strong feelings while kissing a girl he restrained... The second *was* kind of kinky, but it was very possible. He had used that stray magic and her distractedness to break her mind charm, after all...

It really was very confusing and hurtful, and that was exactly why she didn’t want to fall in love before she graduated, in the first place. They were, again in the last compartment of the train, every student knew to leave them alone. Ron sat next to her, playing wizard’s chess with Luna, Harry was in front of her, watching the countryside flashing by, while she had her nose in a book.

In a move Hermione hadn’t seen coming, Luna declared Ron being ‘checkmate’, to Ron’s consternation. While they argued... well, Ron argued, Luna just smiled, they stashed the board away, going to find some more cheerful company. Before Hermione registered what was going on, they’d left their compartment, deserting her with Harry.

Grumbling about what kind of friends they were, she hadn’t realised she’d been that loud. Harry spoke:

“Is it so awful to be alone with me?”

Hermione, surprised, didn’t know what to answer to that. She knew she didn’t want to part ways with him on a sour note, and would do anything to avoid a fight. But like things were going now, couldn’t be good either. After a prolonged silence, Harry was watching outside again, when Hermione dared a leap:

“Harry?”

The only acknowledgement she got from him was a soft ‘Mmh’

“Are we ever going to be able to talk to each other again like we used to? Or are you going to continue to treat me like I don’t even really exist, like I’m not worth your time?”

“Me? I treat you like you don’t even exist! What about you?”

“Ha! Got a rise out of you!” Hermione flashed him a nervous smile, “Harry? Are you going to be ok at the Dursleys’?”

Harry looked up at the sudden change of subject while Hermione cursed herself for loosing her courage to pursue the previous line of conversation.

“Well, the promise of what I’ll do to them on my birthday will keep me hanging on...” Flashing his mischievous grin.

“Harry! You’re not serious, are you! There isn’t only the age-restriction! You know that, you can’t go around cursing Muggles! Think about what that will look like!”

Harry just looked at her calmly and whispered: “Ha, got a rise out of you, too!”

Hermione fell silent at that, Harry continued: “I have to go back, I have to live in a place I call home with a direct blood relative of my mother’s, it’s to enforce the protection spell she put on me...”

“You’ve known since last year, haven’t you?”

Hermione looked at Harry’s affirmation; why didn’t he tell them? She didn’t see the reason to keep this a secret. Harry’d always been mysterious, but he was known to reveal more to Ron and her. That had changed since this year. He had been in on almost all Order activity, and even if they’d told them the little bit of that information about the Death Eaters, she knew it was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Somewhere along the silence she’d had the misfortune of looking into his eyes, again. Why did she always felt sucked into an excited, numb state when she was confronted with his intense gaze? Was her love enough, enough to put up with everything that came with being at his side? But she realised she never *had* left his side, she’d put up with everything that had already happened, and would with a hundred times worse, if it meant he’d let her stay at his side for him...

This was something big, not just deciding if they’d risk their friendship for satisfying some romantic feelings, not just an empty promise of forever, but an earthshaking commitment, to love and being loved, something so simple, yet so scary at the same time...

Vaguely she realised they were holding hands, and she was toying with his fingers. He tightened his grip on her hands, and leaned forwards slightly. Hermione, having had enough of the suspense, closed the gap between them and brushed her lips against his, barely. Their eyes stayed open, like they were trying to assess what the other was thinking.

Hermione felt tingles go all along her body, but they weren’t as important as what she saw in Harry’s eyes: tenderness, trust mixed with fear, and most of all hope. Hermione shuddered, it had been a while since she’d seen him hopeful, and it touched her to her core that she was able to restore it. She didn’t feel any of the emptiness from just an hour ago, on the contrary, her chest felt oddly restricted from the completeness bursting from the area where her heart was beating a little faster...

Harry had apparently had enough of the attempted soul searching. Seeing his eyes flash with impatience and something that made Hermione’s stomach flutter, he leaned in more forcefully and crushed her lips in a kiss she eagerly returned. When the urgency died down, they ended up embracing, just hugging each other closely, enjoying the closeness while it lasted.

Hermione whispered: “For better or worse”

She hadn’t intended for him to hear it, but with her mouth so close to his ear, she should have known better.

“You planning to marry already?” Harry’s voice sounded just a *little* bit panicked, and held even less an honestly teasing tone.

He really thought that? They weren’t even of age yet! Honestly! But then again, this provided her with a nice come-back. Leaning back a little, she forced herself to not let him notice she was just teasing... Pouting she looked up into his face.

“Why? You don’t want to make babies with me?”

His expression was priceless, his complexion went a furious red when the meaning of her statement hit him. Ok, so it really wasn’t her usual style to joke about these things, but honestly, he was going to get a problem with his blood pressure if he kept this up.

When she started to smile, repressing silly giggles, Harry realised she was just being a tease. Disbelief flashed across his eyes, before he just brought her back to their hug, chuckling: “You’re unbelievable!”

“I know” Pressing her face into his shoulder, she whispered: “I love you”

His grip around her middle and back tightened and she felt him shudder. Idly she wondered if anyone had ever told him that. So simple, so strong, love... His reaction meant an eternity more to her then if he would’ve simply said it back, which he didn’t.

Ron and Luna found them later just sitting next to each other, reading the same book, Harry looking over Hermione’s shoulder. They came back with the story of Pansy taking Malfoy’s place in front of Crabbe and Goyle, and doing the sarcastic goodbye round of insults. They’d gotten their punishment as Malfoy had the previous two years, when she’d bothered Susan about her murdered aunt, and her ever increasing amount of family members dying at the hands of the Dark Lord. Not the brightest, Parkinson had failed to see the amount of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students surrounding her while she’d been oozing her poison... Now she’d be lucky if she ever got back her ability to sit on a comfy chair...

Luna was going to stay with the Weasleys again, not at the Burrow, but at Headquarters, Dumbledore had arranged that. Mr. Lovegood had been very gracious about it, actually claiming it would be better for her. She needed protection from the Heliodemons, who where constantly on fire and attacking everyone who tried to spread the truth...

Hermione was to stay with her parents, who were still under the Fidelius. She did have a member of the Order of the Phoenix stay guard around her though, and they were working out a solution of telling a select number of people the Secret, so that her parents could come with her again to the Grimmauld Place. Apparently both sides, Order members and her parents, had found it extremely diverting of having so many little things to find out about the other’s world.

On the platform, she wasn’t greeted with the sight of her parents; they were waiting outside of the station for her as to not have wizards see her hug air and thus betraying their presence... Several Order members stood to see them off though. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, of course, and Remus, with a walking cane, since his side still hurt. Tonks was there too, embarrassing Harry by hugging him in a pantomime of Mrs. Weasley’s mother hen embrace. Moody was standing grouchy as ever, waiting for the ‘sappiness’ to end.

She saw the Dursleys stand a little further away, Dudley glaring at her. When Moody nodded at them, for the world to see as in a polite friendly manner, Mrs. Dursley started shaking, and Mr. Dursley looked uncharacteristically pale. They didn’t repeat the same scene as last year, though; it didn’t seem quite necessary to remind those Muggles anyway.

Hermione got her share of hugs too, and had just finished saying goodbye to Ron and Luna. She turned to Harry, and was unsure of what to do. Though part of her wanted to shout her feelings to everyone who would listen, her rational mind, and natural reserve, forbade her such a silly action. She had no desire what so ever to have it all splashed on the front page of the Daily Prophet.

Biting back she gave Harry her customary hug, which lasted a little longer than usual; not counting the one in the train. She ached to give him more then a chaste peck on the cheek, but didn’t dare. Watching him go to the Dursleys, she picked herself together and went in search for her parents.

Outside she finally found them, standing on the parking next to the family car, thanks to Crookshanks who had leapt from her arms and lead the way. While she was hugging her mother, she was looking over her shoulder. Fate had it that she looked straight into Harry’s eyes.

He was sitting in the backseat of his uncle’s car, mouthing something to her. She stared until she couldn’t see him anymore, surely she had imagined that. This was her imagination running wild with wishful thinking!

Her parents were trying to get her attention in vain, while loading her trunk into their car. She felt her facial muscles twist her expression with a very silly smile, wiping away the shock from her face, and there was not a single thing she could do about it. Shrugging mentally she resigned herself, thinking that if all else failed, as long as they held on to hope and love, they would be alright, they would vanquish Voldemort and live happily ever after. And even if the happily ever after wasn’t in store for them, they’d still have the present, might as well make the best of it...

It haunted her much longer then just the duration of the car ride home, the image of Harry mouthing: “I love you, too”

THE END (for the sixth year)

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