Love is hope: Life after fifth year (the last chapters)

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On the train back home, Hermione couldn’t help but feel empty. Though her head was full with new information, her chest seemed to echo every heartbeat... It had been a week since that faithful night. Neville had died, but had chosen to stay back as a ghost... He took it upon himself to patrol the Room of Requirement now, since it appeared ghosts who hadn’t entered it while they had been alive couldn’t penetrate it.

It felt extremely surreal. Neville was gone, but not totally... And he seemed happy, which was very queer. His grandmother had come to Hogwarts. The formidable woman was devastated over her grandson’s death, but she had told him how proud she was that he had avenged his parents...

Tonks had spent every spare time of hers at Remus’ bed. He was till recovering, but there were good chances that he would pull through completely. Hermione saw how his eyes lit up on one of the rare times she could liberate herself from Auror duties, which wasn’t often any more... Hermione asked herself what would become of them, now that their relationship wasn’t that secret anymore for anyone with eyes...

Luna was alright now, totally recovered from her head trauma. When she had been told Ron had stayed by her side the entire time she was in the hospital unconscious, she had almost floated right out of her bed. With Ginny gone, Hermione had found it her duty to watch over the girl, since Ron was still not comfortable with staying by her side while she was conscious...

Ginny had been thoroughly confused, last time Harry and Ron had seen her, but she had been taken away by McGonagall, due to complications at the Ministry. Just before everything had been going on at the Shrieking Shack, Death Eaters had managed to infiltrate their way to Madam Bones, and she had been murdered. Mr. Galfadus had been made emergency Minister, since he had been the only candidate, and because no one else had the courage after the murder.

His first order of business had been to let Fudge run the department of Law Enforcement, and grant a temporary custody at Percy for Ginny, since Ron was now of age, they couldn’t rule over him any more. That’s why Ginny had been taken to the unplottable Grimmauld Place... Hermione started to believe there was something about Ginny Galfadus wanted, maybe it had to do with her dealings with Tom Riddle’s diary? Anyway, she agreed that Ginny would not be safe there, even if they were breaking the law to keep her away.

They explained Ginny’s disappearance as running away when one of her close friends had died. The Ministry was now wasting their time searching for the girl... One thing they could not deny, was clearing Sirius Black’s name. Oh, they tried, but presented with the (freshly) dead body of Pettigrew, and the silver hand and ability of rat-Animagus being consistent with everything they had been telling everyone for years now, couldn’t be ignored.

The Daily Prophet had been releasing extra editions for a whole week now. Reporting the dealings at the Ministry and Hogwarts, details about the death of Pettigrew and Sirius Black, last year, and the death of Malfoy senior at the hand of his teen son, and the teen wizard Theodore Nott, being a spy for Voldemort, they apparently saw nothing wrong in the business of putting Fudge back in a position of power. Of course, the death of Bellatrix Lestrange, by Neville Longbottom, and his death, had been thoroughly reported on also, declaring the best friend of Harry Potter a hero...

Ron hadn’t even remarked on all the articles declaring Neville Harry’s best friend. He’d been silently missing his sister, and was just as her overwhelmed with the storm of information they’d gotten the last week.

When she’d woken up at the Hospital Wing, around noon the next day, she had to tell her story in front of Dumbledore and an Auror. She’d avoided talking about the cryptic banter between Malfoy Senior and Harry, but had asked Dumbledore about it, as soon as she had the opportunity.

Since there was no need in keeping the secret anymore, the Headmaster had summoned her, Ron and Luna to his office, Harry being already there. Ginny had been there also, freshly out of the Headmaster’s hearth.

They’d explained that they had always known they couldn’t contain the captured Death Eaters in any way. Even the strongest spells, couldn’t conceal them, since the Dark Mark bound them so strongly to their Lord. So they’d adopted a different tactic. Inspired by Muggle techniques, and with the genius of the Weasley twins, they had created a special sort of charm.

Dumbledore made sure to have the strongest containing spells and the severest security around the Death Eaters, knowing it wouldn’t matter anyway, but not willing to let Voldemort in on that. The longer they could contain them, the better, after all. They’d put a special kind of tracking charm on them. Once Voldemort freed them, it would alert the Order of the Phoenix where the Death Eaters were at all times, but it would deactivate if they were in close range of Voldemort, since he had the reputation of smelling magic a mile away.

So all this time there hadn’t really been a leak in Voldemort’s camp, but they’d just been tracked. When one Muggle attack had been successful, Voldemort had made the connection that there hadn’t been any Death Eaters present in that attack who had been imprisoned last year at the Ministry. After knowing that, it was only a small step to destroy the charms; well it had taken him over a month of extensive research to manage. That’s how he’d succeeded to murder Madam Bones, to make an example that he wasn’t to be trifled with.

The day she had been memory charmed, Nott had to report on the whereabouts of all those at Hogwarts. Dumbledore, Tonks, Remus, Harry, Ron and herself were on the top of that list. Theodore Nott had never been obvious about his loyalties, so he made a better ‘agent’ then Malfoy, who was only called on to watch his back when he had to contact the elders. They’d gotten all that out of Nott with Veritaserum, while she was still unconscious of getting her memory back and Harry had alerted Dumbledore on what he’d seen in her mind... Just then the message came about the attack on the Minister.

Dumbledore had left Hogwarts at once, making sure Theodore Nott would not escape and asking Snape to locate Malfoy, because of the information extracted form Nott. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville had been waiting outside to hear any news about what would happen with Nott. Harry had indeed not recognized the voice that had yelled the memory charm at Hermione, so not one of them cared about checking him, yet.

Malfoy, in the mean time had gotten wind of Hermione being in the Hospital Wing and Nott being called to the Headmaster’s office, so he panicked and took Hermione with him. Crookshanks had been her saviour even before he’d caught the killing curse for her; since he’d seen what Malfoy did and had ran to Harry’s dormitory for the Map. Her cat had found Harry and the rest in the nick of time. Seeing hers and Malfoy’s dot disappear at the edge of the Map in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, they’d not wasted any time to follow.

The tunnel had been warded to alarm the staff room and the Headmaster’s office, when someone used the passage. Since most professors were busy correcting exam papers in their own office, it wasn’t until later that McGonagall had noticed the tip-off. She’d tried to reach Snape, but he’d already been busy locating Malfoy, and she’d went for Tonks, who was keeping wolf Remus company while correcting papers for Defence against the Dark Arts...

That’s how they’d come to help; Remus normally wouldn’t have come, but he was restless, sensing something... They hadn’t imagined the scene they had found, though. When Snape had been fruitless in finding anyone, he’d noticed the tip-off of the wards to the Shrieking Shack, also. Feeling something was wrong also, he’d called for Dumbledore on an Order communication device to come back at once. That is how Dumbledore had come to the scene in time.

After Hermione had passed out in the Shrieking Shack, Dumbledore had taken everyone back to Hogwarts, Neville floating behind and after sending Ginny away with McGonagall, had called in the Ministry. Aurors had taken away young Malfoy and Nott, Crabbe, Goyle and Dolohov to the Ministry and picked up the bodies of Pettigrew, Bellatrix and Lucius later on the day. They’d interrogated everyone on what had happened, and despite Fudge’s efforts to klutz up the investigation and make Dumbledore look bad, the Aurors had their pride and hadn’t forgotten the poor decisions he’d made as Minister, so they did everything their way, which was fairly fair...

After their explanations, everyone went a bit his or her way. Ginny was to go back to the Grimmauld Place, Ron wanted to ponder on it on his own, Luna wanted to go pack already, and Harry was more distant then ever... He blamed himself for Neville’s death, even though Neville himself had told him it wasn’t his fault. Hermione suspected there was also a bit of ‘Bellatrix killed Sirius, and I couldn’t avenge him, Neville got there first’ eating at him.

Hermione had been pretty redrawn herself. Spending time first in her bed at the Hospital Wing to recover from her exhaustion, and making sure Luna and Lupin were ok, she spend the rest of her days in the library. She’d had the results of her NEWT, she’d passed with an E, not as high as she’d wanted too, but she had her NEWT. Ron was barely talking to her, but their silences weren’t awkward, just easy and companionable, coming to from the events together.

Harry spent all his time at Remus’ bedside and Dumbledore’s office, and sometimes on the Quidditch Pitch, flying like a lunatic. He spent his meals with his friends, but you couldn’t get a decent word out of him. Hermione knew he didn’t want to go back to his relatives, again, even if it probably would be for the last time... But that couldn’t be all he worried about?

Hermione felt at an impasse with him. She was now sure she loved him, and on a certain level, she was sure he loved her. But she couldn’t deal with the mixed signals. He’d never denied he loved her, but never said he loved her, either. He’d been making lame excuses for not wanting to date her, and Hermione was left doubting if he just didn’t want her that way, or if he really believed that nonsense about bringing her more in danger that way.

The kiss in Dumbledore’s office was branded in her soul. She knew she’d never be able to wipe it out of her sensory memory, no matter how hard she tried. But she was left wondering what it meant to Harry. Ok, since he only radiated raw magic when he experienced strong emotions, this left two possibilities. One, he really, really liked her; two, he was a teenage boy who had very strong feelings while kissing a girl he restrained... The second *was* kind of kinky, but it was very possible. He had used that stray magic and her distractedness to break her mind charm, after all...

It really was very confusing and hurtful, and that was exactly why she didn’t want to fall in love before she graduated, in the first place. They were, again in the last compartment of the train, every student knew to leave them alone. Ron sat next to her, playing wizard’s chess with Luna, Harry was in front of her, watching the countryside flashing by, while she had her nose in a book.

In a move Hermione hadn’t seen coming, Luna declared Ron being ‘checkmate’, to Ron’s consternation. While they argued... well, Ron argued, Luna just smiled, they stashed the board away, going to find some more cheerful company. Before Hermione registered what was going on, they’d left their compartment, deserting her with Harry.

Grumbling about what kind of friends they were, she hadn’t realised she’d been that loud. Harry spoke:

“Is it so awful to be alone with me?”

Hermione, surprised, didn’t know what to answer to that. She knew she didn’t want to part ways with him on a sour note, and would do anything to avoid a fight. But like things were going now, couldn’t be good either. After a prolonged silence, Harry was watching outside again, when Hermione dared a leap:

“Harry?”

The only acknowledgement she got from him was a soft ‘Mmh’

“Are we ever going to be able to talk to each other again like we used to? Or are you going to continue to treat me like I don’t even really exist, like I’m not worth your time?”

“Me? I treat you like you don’t even exist! What about you?”

“Ha! Got a rise out of you!” Hermione flashed him a nervous smile, “Harry? Are you going to be ok at the Dursleys’?”

Harry looked up at the sudden change of subject while Hermione cursed herself for loosing her courage to pursue the previous line of conversation.

“Well, the promise of what I’ll do to them on my birthday will keep me hanging on...” Flashing his mischievous grin.

“Harry! You’re not serious, are you! There isn’t only the age-restriction! You know that, you can’t go around cursing Muggles! Think about what that will look like!”

Harry just looked at her calmly and whispered: “Ha, got a rise out of you, too!”

Hermione fell silent at that, Harry continued: “I have to go back, I have to live in a place I call home with a direct blood relative of my mother’s, it’s to enforce the protection spell she put on me...”

“You’ve known since last year, haven’t you?”

Hermione looked at Harry’s affirmation; why didn’t he tell them? She didn’t see the reason to keep this a secret. Harry’d always been mysterious, but he was known to reveal more to Ron and her. That had changed since this year. He had been in on almost all Order activity, and even if they’d told them the little bit of that information about the Death Eaters, she knew it was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Somewhere along the silence she’d had the misfortune of looking into his eyes, again. Why did she always felt sucked into an excited, numb state when she was confronted with his intense gaze? Was her love enough, enough to put up with everything that came with being at his side? But she realised she never *had* left his side, she’d put up with everything that had already happened, and would with a hundred times worse, if it meant he’d let her stay at his side for him...

This was something big, not just deciding if they’d risk their friendship for satisfying some romantic feelings, not just an empty promise of forever, but an earthshaking commitment, to love and being loved, something so simple, yet so scary at the same time...

Vaguely she realised they were holding hands, and she was toying with his fingers. He tightened his grip on her hands, and leaned forwards slightly. Hermione, having had enough of the suspense, closed the gap between them and brushed her lips against his, barely. Their eyes stayed open, like they were trying to assess what the other was thinking.

Hermione felt tingles go all along her body, but they weren’t as important as what she saw in Harry’s eyes: tenderness, trust mixed with fear, and most of all hope. Hermione shuddered, it had been a while since she’d seen him hopeful, and it touched her to her core that she was able to restore it. She didn’t feel any of the emptiness from just an hour ago, on the contrary, her chest felt oddly restricted from the completeness bursting from the area where her heart was beating a little faster...

Harry had apparently had enough of the attempted soul searching. Seeing his eyes flash with impatience and something that made Hermione’s stomach flutter, he leaned in more forcefully and crushed her lips in a kiss she eagerly returned. When the urgency died down, they ended up embracing, just hugging each other closely, enjoying the closeness while it lasted.

Hermione whispered: “For better or worse”

She hadn’t intended for him to hear it, but with her mouth so close to his ear, she should have known better.

“You planning to marry already?” Harry’s voice sounded just a *little* bit panicked, and held even less an honestly teasing tone.

He really thought that? They weren’t even of age yet! Honestly! But then again, this provided her with a nice come-back. Leaning back a little, she forced herself to not let him notice she was just teasing... Pouting she looked up into his face.

“Why? You don’t want to make babies with me?”

His expression was priceless, his complexion went a furious red when the meaning of her statement hit him. Ok, so it really wasn’t her usual style to joke about these things, but honestly, he was going to get a problem with his blood pressure if he kept this up.

When she started to smile, repressing silly giggles, Harry realised she was just being a tease. Disbelief flashed across his eyes, before he just brought her back to their hug, chuckling: “You’re unbelievable!”

“I know” Pressing her face into his shoulder, she whispered: “I love you”

His grip around her middle and back tightened and she felt him shudder. Idly she wondered if anyone had ever told him that. So simple, so strong, love... His reaction meant an eternity more to her then if he would’ve simply said it back, which he didn’t.

Ron and Luna found them later just sitting next to each other, reading the same book, Harry looking over Hermione’s shoulder. They came back with the story of Pansy taking Malfoy’s place in front of Crabbe and Goyle, and doing the sarcastic goodbye round of insults. They’d gotten their punishment as Malfoy had the previous two years, when she’d bothered Susan about her murdered aunt, and her ever increasing amount of family members dying at the hands of the Dark Lord. Not the brightest, Parkinson had failed to see the amount of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students surrounding her while she’d been oozing her poison... Now she’d be lucky if she ever got back her ability to sit on a comfy chair...

Luna was going to stay with the Weasleys again, not at the Burrow, but at Headquarters, Dumbledore had arranged that. Mr. Lovegood had been very gracious about it, actually claiming it would be better for her. She needed protection from the Heliodemons, who where constantly on fire and attacking everyone who tried to spread the truth...

Hermione was to stay with her parents, who were still under the Fidelius. She did have a member of the Order of the Phoenix stay guard around her though, and they were working out a solution of telling a select number of people the Secret, so that her parents could come with her again to the Grimmauld Place. Apparently both sides, Order members and her parents, had found it extremely diverting of having so many little things to find out about the other’s world.

On the platform, she wasn’t greeted with the sight of her parents; they were waiting outside of the station for her as to not have wizards see her hug air and thus betraying their presence... Several Order members stood to see them off though. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, of course, and Remus, with a walking cane, since his side still hurt. Tonks was there too, embarrassing Harry by hugging him in a pantomime of Mrs. Weasley’s mother hen embrace. Moody was standing grouchy as ever, waiting for the ‘sappiness’ to end.

She saw the Dursleys stand a little further away, Dudley glaring at her. When Moody nodded at them, for the world to see as in a polite friendly manner, Mrs. Dursley started shaking, and Mr. Dursley looked uncharacteristically pale. They didn’t repeat the same scene as last year, though; it didn’t seem quite necessary to remind those Muggles anyway.

Hermione got her share of hugs too, and had just finished saying goodbye to Ron and Luna. She turned to Harry, and was unsure of what to do. Though part of her wanted to shout her feelings to everyone who would listen, her rational mind, and natural reserve, forbade her such a silly action. She had no desire what so ever to have it all splashed on the front page of the Daily Prophet.

Biting back she gave Harry her customary hug, which lasted a little longer than usual; not counting the one in the train. She ached to give him more then a chaste peck on the cheek, but didn’t dare. Watching him go to the Dursleys, she picked herself together and went in search for her parents.

Outside she finally found them, standing on the parking next to the family car, thanks to Crookshanks who had leapt from her arms and lead the way. While she was hugging her mother, she was looking over her shoulder. Fate had it that she looked straight into Harry’s eyes.

He was sitting in the backseat of his uncle’s car, mouthing something to her. She stared until she couldn’t see him anymore, surely she had imagined that. This was her imagination running wild with wishful thinking!

Her parents were trying to get her attention in vain, while loading her trunk into their car. She felt her facial muscles twist her expression with a very silly smile, wiping away the shock from her face, and there was not a single thing she could do about it. Shrugging mentally she resigned herself, thinking that if all else failed, as long as they held on to hope and love, they would be alright, they would vanquish Voldemort and live happily ever after. And even if the happily ever after wasn’t in store for them, they’d still have the present, might as well make the best of it...

It haunted her much longer then just the duration of the car ride home, the image of Harry mouthing: “I love you, too”

THE END (for the sixth year)

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