How the Other Half Lives

Chapter 1 - Left Behind

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story was originally written during the fall of 2002, before the release of OotP. For that reason, certain characterizations aren't consistent with new information about the MWPP generation from that book.

A Wizard of Earthsea is a lovely fantasy book by Ursula K. Le Guin. It's not at all like Harry Potter, but it's well worth reading.

* * *

It was the week before the Christmas holidays at Hogwarts, and every teacher seemed intent upon squeezing in one final project, essay, or exam before releasing their students to their vacations. Consequently, no one would have guessed that the four sixth-year boys sitting quietly at a table in the Gryffindor common room were doing anything other than studying for the next day's Transfiguration exam, despite their reputations as pranksters. After all, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin were all known to be very clever students as well as troublemakers--Potter was almost certain to be Head Boy next year--so they had to study at some time. And if Potter, Black, and Lupin were all doing something, Pettigrew was certain to be doing the same.

In truth, only one of the four friends actually had his mind on the intricacies of human transfiguration. That was Remus: he had missed a couple of classes earlier in the week due to the full moon, and, as usual, he was anxious to compensate for his absences by being particularly well-prepared for the exam. To his left, Peter, for all his rolls of parchment and piles of books, was doing nothing more intellectual than sorting a bag of Bertie Bott's Beans into two piles, "safe" and "suspect." On the opposite side of the table, James and Sirius were (as usual) not participating in the Transfiguration study session. As everything in that particular class came rather easily to them, they were using their time in what they considered a more productive manner.

Sirius's quill flew across his parchment. "--Peroxide and itching powder," he muttered as he finished his list with an inky flourish. Grinning, he looked up at his best friend and said, "Prongs, this may be our best ever! Snapey may be on guard against magical pranks, but I don't know what he'll make of Muggle hair dye. That's one potion he hasn't mastered in Professor Tration's class!"

James didn't respond. He had been too busy watching a certain head of red hair to notice Sirius's comment.

The grin faded from Sirius's face. He elbowed James in a none too kindly manner and hissed under his breath, "Stop staring!"

James jumped. "Sorry, mate, did you say something?"

"Will you stop staring at Evans? You're only going to make her feel self-conscious."

James had the grace to look ashamed. "Okay, okay. I'm just--it's just--well, she looks so lonely. I wonder if she's talked to anyone. Since--since, you know."

"If she wants to talk, she'll talk. Sometimes it's better to give people some space." Sirius frowned at his list for a moment before crumpling up the parchment and tossing it towards the hearth. His aim was perfect, of course; he wasn't a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team just because the captain happened to be his best friend. "She feels bad enough already. No need to make her feel more like freak by rubbernecking. She's not some car wreck." James blinked, obviously confused. Sirius sighed, "A Muggle thing, Prongs."

As a half-and-half, son of a Muggle father and a Wizard mother, Sirius had a much better understanding of the Muggle world than pureblooded James would ever have. Sirius's parentage was also the reason that he was feeling rather protective towards Lily Evans these days. His parents had been two of You-Know-Who's first victims, and Lily's parents had been two of the latest. James knew his friend was speaking from experience, so he lowered his gray gaze to his untouched roll of parchment. "Why did you throw away the list?"

Sirius shrugged. "It just didn't seem funny anymore."

* * *

Five days later, James Potter again found himself staring at Lily Evans as they sat in a silent Gryffindor common room. They were two of only four Gryffindors who were staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. Peter and Remus were both at their respective parents' homes, and Sirius was spending the holiday with his wizard grandparents.

James's parents were usually too eager to have their only child home from school, so he had been rather surprised to receive their owl early in December ordering him to stay at Hogwarts.

He had reread the letter that morning as he sat crosslegged on his four-postered bed in the silent sixth-year boys dormitory. The more he thought about it, the more he worried. Their home was no longer safe? The ancestral Potter estate in Derbyshire, with generations of accumulated protective charms, was no longer safe against You-Know-Who? That could only mean one thing. His parents had joined the pursuit of You-Know-Who. They were purebloods, a rather prominent wizarding family, and there was no other reason for You-Know-Who to target them. For all the horrible news in The Daily Prophet, James had never thought about his own safety. For Sirius, yes, and for the other half-bloods and Muggle-borns among his friends and acquaintances, but never for himself. This is how the other half lives, he thought. In fear.

Lily was curled up in an armchair by the fireplace, more intent upon the leaping flames than the book on her lap. Her long red hair gleamed against the nubby gray wool of her sweater, hiding her face from James's scrutiny.

Almost six years, he thought. Almost six years they had been at Hogwarts together, and they were only friendly acquaintances. Certainly not friends. He had asked her for help with Charms a couple of times back in third year. Sometimes they walked back from prefects' meetings together, and he always saw her cheering with the other Gryffindors at his Quidditch matches. But he had never bothered to wonder if Lily was anything more than a shy, smart girl who happened to be in his year in his house.

Suddenly remembering Sirius's harsh words on the subject of staring, James tore his gaze away from Lily's hair and sighed. It was almost time for lunch. Perhaps he could interest that fourth year Morris in a game of Exploding Snap in the afternoon. They were on good terms; Morris was a reserve Beater for the Quidditch team. Or perhaps. . . . He looked at that shining fall of red hair and got a better idea. He approached her chair before he could lose his nerve.

"Er--Lily?"

She raised her head slowly, and he noticed dark shadows under her green eyes. "Yes?"

"It's almost time of lunch. I thought, um, maybe you'd want to walk down to the Great Hall with me."

She hesitated a moment, and then said, "Sure, James. Just let me put away my things."

* * *

James felt more than a little silly as he waited by the bottom of the staircase to the girls' dormitory. He wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if there was anyone there to see him waiting. He fidgeted a little, checked his watch, and fidgeted some more.

Footsteps sounded behind him, and he turned to see Lily descending the last flight of the stairs. He noticed that she had tied her pretty hair back in a ponytail and felt vaguely disappointed. A smile tugged on the corner of her lips when she saw him.

"What?"

"You look as if you're expecting Filch to spoil one of your pranks."

It was the last thing he expected her to say. He was too startled to laugh, but he managed a weak smile as they started towards the portrait hole. "Ah, well--I promised my parents they wouldn't find any owls from McGonagall waiting for them when they get home."

"Is that why you're staying at Hogwarts? Because they're away?"

He nodded. "Ministry stuff." He knew better than to ask her why she was staying.

"What part of the ministry do they work for?"

"They're Aurors. That's how they met actually. My dad was a few years ahead of my mum at Hogwarts, and they were in different houses, so they never really knew each others. She said that she always thought he was a Quidditch-obsessed braggart until they became partners at the Ministry." She didn't respond, and James decided that it might be better to turn the subject away from parents. "Er, what were you reading earlier?"

"A Muggle novel. You wouldn't know it."

"You're probably right," he said, thinking about all the references that Sirius made that he couldn't understand. "What is it about?

Again the corners of her mouth twitched up into a half-smile. "Wizards. A Muggle idea of wizards. It's not very close to the truth, but it's still interesting."

"What is it called?"

"A Wizard of Earthsea. You can borrow it if you like."

James had never read a Muggle novel in his life, and he honestly didn't have much of a desire to pick up the habit. But he only nodded politely.

* * *

Most of the other students who were staying at Hogwarts had already started their lunch when James and Lily reached the great hall. There was only one long table set up for the students. At least there weren't any Slytherins around--just a handful of Hufflepuffs and a lone Ravenclaw in addition to the four Gryffindors. He recognized the Ravenclaw, Eric Bennet, as another one of You-Know-Who's orphans.

James had just started eating his shepherd's pie when Lew Morris ran into the Great Hall, red-cheeked from the cold and holding his broomstick. He sat down across from James and shoveled a ridiculous amount of food onto his plate. The two boys nodded at each other.

"Potter."

"Morris. Been practicing?"

"Of course. There's gonna be an open Beater spot next year."

"It's yours to lose, I daresay. Haven't seen too many others with an inclination to play Beater."

"Probably be my best chance at the cup. Hate to think what the team will be like once you and Black graduate."

James and Sirius had been terrorizing opposing keepers as a tandem since their third years at Hogwarts. Not incidentally, Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup ever since James joined the team.

There had been a time with James would have appreciated the flattery, but now he brushed it off. "As long as you find a decent Seeker, you'll have a shot at the Cup. Chasers don't win games."

"Any prospects come to mind?"

"A few." He didn't want to discuss the Gryffindor team anymore. One of the Hufflepuffs was listening far too intently. "Up for some Exploding Snap this afternoon?"

"Maybe after supper. I'd like to get some more time in on the pitch before the bad weather hits. They say we're going to have snow for Christmas." Morris poured himself some pumpkin juice. "Did you hear that Puddlemere lured away one of the Wasps' chasers?"

James nearly choked on his shepherd's pie. "Which one?"

"Tracy."

The two boys were so engrossed by their discussion of the latest happenings in the English league that neither noticed when Lily slipped away from the table and left the Great Hall.

* * *

James felt like a cad when he returned to the Gryffindor common room. He couldn't even be nice to the girl for an entire meal. Damn Quidditch. He hoped she hadn't been too offended. Perhaps he should apologize. But that would mean admitting that he was taking pity on her, and if Sirius was any indication of how she might react, she might very well be even more unhappy with him.

She had returned to her seat by the fireplace, her long legs curled up beneath her. Wisps of red hair were escaping from her ponytail. Her Muggle novel was on her lap, and for once she seemed to be making progress on the story. She looked up as he entered and granted him a sweet smile that made him feel even more guilty.

"Hi."

"Hey. Er, sorry about all the Quidditch talk at dinner."

"Don't worry. After six years, I'm used to it."

"Used to what?"

"Quidditch this, Quidditch that. I thought football fans were crazy, but I think Quidditch fans put them to shame."

James suspected that he ought to know what she meant by "football" and assumed it was another Muggle thing that Sirius would have to explain to him later.

"Almost finished your book, I see."

"Actually, I've read it before."

"Then why are you reading it again?"

"Some things are better the second time around." She waved a hand at an empty armchair next to hers. "Have a seat. I hate when people hover."

He sat down in the indicated chair. He couldn't decide if he was pleased by her good mood. On one hand, she wasn't angry at him, and that was definitely a good thing. On the other hand, she seemed resigned to his rudeness, which hardly spoke well of how he had treated her in the past. Was she simply used to being ignored? He wondered what she thought of him.

"Well, if you get tired of your book, um, I'm always looking for someone to play Exploding Snap. Or chess, if you like. I've never been much good a chess, though I don't know if that's an incentive or a disincentive."

She just looked at him for a moment, until he began to squirm under her green gaze. "I'll stop bothering you now," he mumbled, getting up from his chair.

As he walked towards the stairs to the boy's dormitory, he heard her call, "When I'm done, James."

* * *

Lily disappeared into her dormitory immediately after supper, leaving James with only Lew Morris and a very shy second-year girl named Imogen Allen for company. Lew played cards as enthusiastically as he hit bludgers, and the two boys were soon laughing loudly and sporting singed eyebrows. With a little encouragement, they managed to coax Imogen out of her corner and into a game of chess. Once she got over her astonishment at playing chess with the great James Potter, she turned out to be a rather decent player. After trouncing James, she thoroughly defeated Lew for good measure. Appearances, it seemed, could be deceiving.

The next morning at breakfast a pink barn owl with a grumpy expression delivered a letter to a very amused James.

He tucked Sirius's letter into the pocket of his slacks and returned to attention to his eggs and bacon. Little Imogen Allen was sitting to his right, but she was too busy gazing at Lew Morris with a distinctly smitten expression to notice much of anything else. Fortunately for Allen, Lew was utterly oblivious to anything besides his cereal, so there were no embarrassing moments, but James suspected it was only a matter of time before it would be quite embarrassing for every Gryffindor left at Hogwarts.

James himself hadn't had a girlfriend at Hogwarts in over a year. After breaking up with Nina Finch the previous year, he hadn't bothered to look for a replacement girlfriend. Why bother? Between the Quidditch captaincy, prefectorial duties, and the hassle of becoming an illegal animagus, he had more than enough on his hands as it was.

After breakfast, Lew disappeared in the direction of the Quidditch pitch, and James wandered back up to the Gryffindor common room. When he climbed through the portrait hole, he saw Lily Evans coming down the staircase from the girls dormitory.

Her long red hair was loose today, and not for the first time, James wished she would wear it that way more often. She was moving very slowly, and her expression was a bit sleep-fogged. It took her a moment to respond to his greeting.

"Er, good morning."

"We missed you at breakfast. McGonagall was asking after you."

Her face fell. "Did I sleep that late? I didn't think I had missed breakfast entirely."

" 'Fraid so. But if you're looking for food, I might be able to help you."

"How?"

James winked. "Evans, have you ever visited the Hogwarts kitchens?"

* * *

The house-elves greeted James shrilly when he arrived in the kitchens, Lily at his heels. "Hi Toddy. This is my friend Lily."

"Toddy is very glad to see Master James again. Master James and his Lily is hungry?"

"Just looking for a snack today."

Toddy instantly ran off, and James and Lily sat down at a table in a quiet corner of the room. The girl ran her fingers over a few names that had been carved into the surface of the wood. "Prongs and Padfoot were here. James, isn't 'Prongs' one of your nicknames?"

"Whatever you're thinking, Lily, I'm probably guilty of it."

"They do seem awfully familiar with you."

He winked. "Growing boys need their provender."

"How did you ever find this place?"

Too much wandering around after hours. "Just luck, I suppose."

Toddy and his helpers brought an enormous amount of food to their table and scurried away.

"So what does it mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"Your nickname. Prongs."

He swallowed hard. "Er, nothing really. Just Sirius being Sirius."

Fortunately that explanation was good enough for every person in Hogwarts, especially one in their house and their year. Lily just nodded and served herself some eggs. Then she said in a low voice, "I thought Sirius might stay for the holidays."

For a shocked moment, James wondered if Lily was as smitten with Sirius as Imogen Allen was with Lew Morris, but he immediately dismissed the idea as ridiculous. If Lily had any tender feelings towards Sirius, she wouldn't have taken twenty points away from him for a certain dungbomb incident at the beginning of term. "Er, no, he went to his grandparents. Actually, I got a funny letter from him this morning--" He told her about Gwydion.

At his description of the grumpy expression on the pink owl, Lily chuckled. "Oh dear."

"That's Sirius for you. When he's not looking for trouble, it finds him on its own."

"He's not mad at me about those points, is he?"

"He's probably forgotten already. He loses too many points for him to keep track of when and where. I've even had to take some points off him from time to time."

"James taking points away from his best friend? I don't believe it."

"I caught him up in the Astronomy Tower with a certain blond Hufflepuff."

Lily chuckled again. "What did he say when you caught him?"

"He complained. I told him that he should have warned me to stay away if he didn't want to get caught."

"But why were you patrolling the Astronomy Tower anyway? Isn't that the Head Boy and Head Girl's job?"

"Robertson was in the infirmary with the flu, and Harker had a Charms test, so they asked me to fill in."

"Just as well," Lily said, serving herself some more eggs. "You might as well get used to it. Most people think you're going to be Head Boy next year."

"More people think you're going to be Head Girl next year," he returned.

Her smile faded. "Oh, I don't think so."

"Lily, you've had the top marks of all the girls in our class since first year."

She looked at her plate of eggs. "I didn't do very well in my last exams. Especially in Defense and Transfiguration. I think Jane Shepard in Ravenclaw might catch up with me."

The idea of Lily Evans not doing well on an exam was so foreign to James that it took him a moment to draw the obvious conclusion. Of course. Her parents. How could she be expected to study after what had happened? Now that James considered the matter, he recalled how Sirius's marks had dropped after his parents had been killed, just over a year ago. And before he could stop and consider his words in a rational manner, he found himself offering her to tutor her. "Except in Charms, of course, where I think I might need your help more than you might need mine."

She gaped at him. "Are you sure, James? I know you must be busy--"

"I don't mind. It is part of being prefect, after all. You must tutor half of Gryffindor in Charms."

"But--"

"And I'm pretty good at Defense and Transfiguration," he said, as a little voice in the back of his head wondered why he was being so insistent.

"I know, but--"

"When do you want to start?"

* * *

They eventually agreed to meet after lunch in the Charms classroom to work on the Defense material they had learned just before the holidays. Lily was having a terrible time trying to summon a Patronus. No wonder, James thought as he watched the wisp of silver at the end of her wand fade. It had to be extraordinarily difficult to summon a single happy memory when all her heart was consumed by grief.

After thirty minutes, Lily collapsed into the pile of cushions that Professor Flitwick used when teaching some of the more dangerous charms. "Let me see yours," she gasped. "I'd like to see what a real Patronus looks like again."

James shrugged, raised his wand, and yelled, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A jet of silver issued from the end of his wand. It took the shape of a griffin before charging the far wall and disappearing.

"I should have known, James Potter. A griffin. You're just a Gryffindor through and through."

"My dad was a Ravenclaw," he said with a shrug, collapsing onto a cushion beside her. His knees suddenly felt unaccountably weak. The Patronus had taken more out of him than usual. "Hard to say if it would actually be any good against a dementor, but I hope I never have to find out."

"It's so beautiful, though," she said. "I wonder what mine would look like."

"Keep practicing, and you'll find out."

"I don't know, James--they seem to be getting weaker, not--" The door to the Charms classroom swung open, and both prefects jumped up from the cushions to see tiny Professor Flitwick with his equally tiny briefcase. He smiled at the sight of his star pupil.

"Miss Evans, Mr Potter. I didn't expect to find you here."

"We were just practicing--" began James hurriedly, knowing what most professors thought when they found two students in an empty classroom.

Lily cut him off smoothly. "James was helping me with my Patronus charm, Professor Flitwick."

"Ah, Professor Arden mentioned that many of his students were having difficulty with that particular charm. I hear that Mr Potter's is quite impressive. But we should have expected no less from the son of two of ours top Aurors." His eyes twinkled. "It's very kind of Mr Potter to help you, Miss Evans."

James didn't quite know what to say to this, so he looked at the ground.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave, as I have need of my classroom." He produced a bar of Honeydukes best chocolate from his pocket, broke it in half, and handed them each a piece. "Eat it all up, or Madam Pomfrey will be very unhappy. You don't want to have to take Pepper-up Potion, do you?"

Shuddering at the thought, Lily and James pocketed their chocolate and left the classroom before Professor Flitwick could insinuate anything else.

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END OF CHAPTER 1