The Game Shows

THE GAME SHOW.

CHAPTER 2: Part Two of Survivor.

~The Day after Day Three~

Bad Guys did not feel any casualty in their camp after the departure of Cho Chang. But living in a remote island away from civilisation can be excruciating. The Good Guys woke up one morning to a blundering start.

Lupin: Well one thing happens, that’s life. (Looking at the condition of their messy camp)

Sirius: Who could have done this? We we’re sleeping last night. Who was in charge of watching?

Everyone looked at Ron and Hermione. They looked guilty of something. Their camp was destroyed and the fire was put out.

Sirius: Oh dear. (Ran hand through his hair) You two were sleeping, didn’t you? (Angry)

Ron: It was Hermione’s fault. I tried to stay awake.

Hermione: (Looked exasperated at Ron) what do you mean my fault? You were trying to do something to Luna.

Everyone looked crossly at Ron and he squirmed behind Luna.

Ron: Okay, I messed up but don’t just blame me. Hermione too did something.

Hermione: (Looking bewildered) did not.

Ron: Did too.

Hermione: Did not.

Ron: Did too.

McGonagall: Quiet you two, ten points from each of you for dawdling around.

Ron: You can’t take points here. We’re not in Hogwarts.

Hermione: We didn’t mean it professor, honestly.

Harry: Guys can’t we work things out. I started the fire back already.

Hermione & Ron: Shut up Harry! (Gave Harry a Death Glare)

Harry shed tears and ran away like a girl.

Ginny: Look at what you two just did. You know he just lost Sirius.

Sirius: Um… I’m right here. (o_o)

Ron and Hermione looked guilty and were awfully quiet.

Sirius: Hey I’m here… Helloooo.

Lupin: Quiet Padfoot, this is one of those sad moments which turned rather intriguing. (Excited)

Sirius: Since when you became a writer.

Lupin: Since the Author of this fic wrote. (Winked) (*_^)

Meanwhile, a lonely Weasley devised the ultimate prank on his tribemates.

Fred: This will give them a shock before we got off this island.

At the Bad Guys camp, the blaming game was on.

Snape: You two blundering big shots voted me last night.

Fudge: What in Merlin’s beard are you babbling about?

Snape: Oh don’t give that monkey shit to me, Cornholio.

Umbridge: That’s Cornelius to you, guy who doesn’t wear any underwear.

Snape: I do, look. (Lifted his robe to reveal nothing underneath it)

Umbridge: It’s so indecent. (Fainted)

Fudge: I think you need to see the Department of Misuse Organs, Snape.

While the adults were fooling around the camp, the kids chattered something about the money and relationships.

Blaise: You see that Sirius guy, he is so hot.

Draco & Pansy: Ew…

Zacharias: I’m dreaming of Ron Weasley.

Draco: Forget this two fruits, Pansy; we have another problem other than Potter.

Pansy: Granger! (Angry)

Draco: Quiet, correct my Slytherin girl. (Pansy blushed)

Pansy: Well what do we suppose to do with her?

Draco: If we have the chance of disposing her quickly, we should take it.

Pansy: I like it, he he he.

Draco: Now about you and me. (All of a sudden feeling horny)

Pansy: Geroff me, I’m with Snape now.

Draco cried and ran away like a little girl.

At night, the good guys were having a sing along to kill their time.

Sirius: I was once stuck in a pool of people’s soul….

Lupin: There are many ways to be told….

Sirius: We could just cut Ron’s private and sold….

Fred: Ron is crazy and and not so bold…..

Ginny: His brains are not a worth of gold….

Neville: He…um….um…. grow short and old…. (Everyone laughed except Ron)

~ Day five already?!~

Bad Guys got a massive problem in their hands now.

Voldermont: Keep that fan on me, Wormtail. (Sitting on a rock)

Wormtail: Yes…huh…huh…master….anything for you…master. (Tried to cool down Voldermont by waving his hands)

The whole tribe members were in a state of hungry and exhaustion. They were to weak to move due to heat form the sun.

Snape: What do I do when I do what I do…. (Crazy)

Draco: That Potter is going to pay for this…. he must use a spell on us.

Snape: Yes that’s right Porkchop did this….

Draco: I’m not talking about a cartoon character you faggot traitor.

Snape: (All of a sudden he was sane) don’t you call me that in front of Voldermont you hear me Malfoy or I swear that you never seen a girl before you get married, got it?

Draco: (Gulped) yes your royal highness.

Umbridge and Fudge were discussing how to bribe the people who controlled the show.

Fudge: We can’t use magic on them; we need a more persuasive method.

Umbridge: We need to give them money. One million galleon.

Fudge: Yes that’s it.

Pansy: You guys are bunch of dung heads. (Fudge and Umbridge turned to look at Pansy) they offering us 9,999,999,999 galleons. If they have that kind of money what are the odds of those host guys are paid?

Fudge and Umbridge faces fell. Bribing won’t work in this game.

Back at Good Guys camp, the group suffered the same problem but more whining.

Ginny: It’s hot and hot, hot, hot…. (Singing a Britney Spears song)

Ron: What is going on around here? If we have magic, I could summon an ice.

Ginny: You don’t even know how to do the Summoning Charm.

Ron: Oh yeah….. I wonder where our brother is.

Fred: Someone called me.

Fred appeared from the forest with his clothes neat and clean. He was not suffering from exhaustion like everyone else. Clearly something was up on his mind.

Ron: How in the world you’re still white as milk while we were fried under the bloody sun.

Fred: That’s simple, George and I created a new invention called the Tanned Sun.

Ron: No way, you did it.

Ginny: Did what?

Ron: He just replaced the sun with a hotter version of theirs. We going to get burned by the time we get out of this island.

Ginny: We already tanned ourselves enough. (Posing sexy to get Neville’s attentions but he was not there)

While the Weasleys argued, Harry and Hermione had an essential time to their selves.

Hermione: I’m sorry for yesterday, Ron kind of a bothersome sometimes.

Harry: No problems, I’ve been emotional a lot lately like a whiny girl.

Hermione: (Giggles) looked at my skin, it’s tanned, sweaty. (Looking at Harry’s smooth, thin and muscular body and gawked) and smooth. (Biting her bottom lips)

Harry: (Looking at Hermione’s small rounded breast and tanned curvy body) Sexy. (Watched dreamily) (*-*)

Hermione: Stimulating (Feeling aroused) (*-*)

Harry: Same here. (Held his hand to touched her and licking his lips)

Hermione: Delicious. (Doing the same thing as Harry)

They were interrupted by a sound of yelping from the shelter. Sirius’s trousers got burned and ran towards their way, panicked stricken. Harry and Hermione were about to touched each other but have to get out of the way as Sirius jumped over them into the water.

Sirius: Ahhhhhhhhhh….. (Relieved)

Harry: Are you alright?

Sirius: *Standing up* oh dear I think I got my bum burned. (His trousers has a hole that exposed his arse)

Hermione: *giggles* what did you do, sit on the fire?

Sirius: Yup, I’ve put my backside to the fire to dry this wet trousers and ended getting myself burned.

Harry and Hermione laughed while Sirius was thoroughly embarrassed with his bum were visibly shown.

~At the Reward Challenge~

Both tribes arrived right on time, Sirius tried to cover his butt with banana leaves only to get laughed at by the Bad Guys.

Jeff: What happened to your trousers?

Sirius: Um… I played hop-scotch and got myself burned.

Jeff: Well next time, don’t place light where the sun don’t shine.

Everyone laughed except Sirius and Voldermont who didn’t has a clue of Jeff said.

Jeff: Alright, today’s rewards challenge is straight-forwardly mental.

Ron: You mean we have to be crazy to win.

Jeff: You could put it that way.

Ron danced all of a sudden; everyone was practically embarrassed by his stupidity.

Ron: There I am mental, I win.

Jeff: I didn’t mean that mental, you brainless buffoon. This challenge tests your mental strength and ability to the limit. On this table is your challenge. (Pointing at the table that was covering something underneath it.)

Sirius: Who wrote this part of this fic?

Jeff: Are you guys ready? *everyone nodded* Do you all have an empty stomach? *everyone looked clueless except Harry and Hermione who were gasping* Here’s your challenge.

Jeff Probst took of the cover and revealed plates of insects, guts, brains, and something that looked like a cross between a Foetus and Gary Coleman. Everyone gasped and pondered what kind of challenge they were going to do.

Harry & Hermione: We have to eat those, right?

Everyone turned horrified and gulped. They did not want this kind of this challenge except Luna who seemed dreamily wandering her mind off somewhere.

Jeff: Yes, two people will eat a specified food on the plate according to the numbers that you will draw out from this box. The first one to back out of the challenge, his or her tribe will lose.

Fred: We’re not doing this stupid challenge; I have better things to do with these insects than eating them.

Fudge: It is a discrimination against the Wizards’ pride.

Snape: I could make a potion out of them. It’s a waste to eat them.

Pansy: I’m too perfect to eat these disgusting things.

Draco: You cannot make me a Malfoy to eat insects and lower myself to minor.

Jeff: You forget about the 9,999,999,999 galleon prize money.

Everyone have ‘$’ signs in their eyes except Harry, Hermione and McGonagall.

Fred: Bring the little bugger here. I could make porridge out of them.

Fudge: F**k wizards’ pride. I’m going to get sack anyway. *Umbridge shocked*

Snape: Potion…what potion? *Sirius rolled his eyes* Oh bugger off you mangy dog.

Pansy: I’m a slut.

Draco: I’m a German Shepard…woof, woof, feed me. *acting like a dog*

Jeff: *rolling his eyes* pathetic…. Alright, you also will win these delicious looking steaks that still needed to be cook.

Everyone drooled looking at the tempting looking steaks.

Jeff: Now one by one, take a number out of the box.

Everyone took a number from the box.

Jeff: Since the Good Guys have more members, you can take someone out of the challenge. Who will it be?

Good Guys looked around and Lupin was missing so they decided Lupin.

Jeff: The first guys please step up to the table. *Harry and Draco walked to the table* Please show your numbers.

Harry showed number 3 while Draco has number 8.

Jeff: Harry, you will eat a flubberworms, * Harry showed disgust* Draco, you will eat a whole brain.

Draco: Damn.

Jeff: Remember this is not a race take your time to eat. You may eat when you’re ready.

With that signal, Harry picked up the first Flubberworm and ate it with ease while his tribe mates cheered on. Draco took his time to eat the brain; he was shedding tears eating the cake sized brain that looked like one of Hagrid’s rock cakes.

Sirius: go Harry go.

Voldermont: If you don’t eat that brain Malfoy, you’re father will be in Azkaban for the rest of his life.

Wormtail: My Lord, his father is already at Azkaban and waiting for you to free him out.

Voldermont: Really?! (Astonished) let him stay there…. Ha ha aha ha ha.

Finally, Harry was the first one to finish his and went back to his tribe mates. Draco finished his minutes later. He cried miserably after eating the brain.

Pansy: Oh suck it up; you’re a Slytherin for Pete’s sake.

Draco: I can’t, its horribly disgusting.

Then, everyone got into the action. Ron, Sirius, and Umbridge got to eat locusts. Hermione, Fudge, Fred and Neville got lucky and eat uncooked fish. The most disgusting food was the intestines of a bull or a cow, and they were eaten by Ginny, a puking but survived Pansy and Blaise. The crossover between the Foetus and Gary Coleman was eaten by Snape and Zacharias and it was a bit terrible than the intestines. The last four, McGonagall, Voldermont, Wormtail and Neville ate fermented Kneazle’s guts.

Jeff: Wow! You guys survived, I’m impressed but we need a winner here and in case of a draw, a tie breaker will ensue. *taking out another plate from under the table* Each group must pick a member from the opposing team, that member is what you thought the weakest of them. Make your pick now, Good Guys.

Good Guys: MALFOY!

Bad Guys: RON!

Jeff: Draco, Ron, step up to the table again.

Ron got to the table first and looked enthusiastic about the tie breaker. Draco seemed did not care because he was still sobbing.

Ron: Aw, whiny prissy Malfoy couldn’t take the heat.

Draco: Shut up…tsk….tsk…

Jeff: Knocked it off you two, here’s what you are going to be eating.

Jeff opened the cover and revealed an animal no one expected to be served.

Ron: Whaaaaaaaa….. a spider. (Ran away to the camp all by himself and shriek a high-pitched tone)

Harry: Ron wait…. Damn it.

Jeff: Bad Guys won!

Good Guys: What?!

Bad Guys: Yeah!

Harry: That blondy-git never ate the spider.

Jeff: You’re friend already backed out of the challenge when he ran, even though Draco never ate the spider he did not backed out so the steaks goes to the Bad Guys. (Handed the steaks to the Bad Guys)

The Bad Guys looked triumphant, raising the steak and ran back to their camps singing ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb.’ The Good Guys walked back to their camp in a solemn mood.

At the Good Guys camp, Sirius investigated the disappearance of his Marauder friend.

Sirius: Yo Moony, where are you mooning around? Don’t tell me you turned into a werewolf in broad daylight.

Sirius chopped the bushes with the machete and found Lupin scribbling something on a piece of parchment. He grinned watching is friend, thinking that the wolf has found his female.

Sirius: What are you writing? Writing a love letter to my cousin.

Lupin: (Feeling jumpy) :o Oh Sirius you scared me. *hiding the piece of parchment behind him*

Sirius: What cha got there? A love letter.

Lupin: No, no, it’s something to take my mind off.

Sirius looked displeased that Lupin was lying, his face showing disappointment so he devised a plan,

Sirius: Look, its Tonks.

Lupin: (Turned around quickly) Where is my pinky poo?

Sirius: *Snatched the paper out of Lupin’s grasped* Hah! Got it. (Ran away with the paper)

Lupin: HEY!!! COME BACK!! PADFOOT.

Sirius: I got it, I got it,…. *running to the campsite* let’s read it, its dear Tonks and Sirius was reading a letter that he thought was a love letter to his cousin……. What IS THIS ???!!!! IS THIS A FIC?! MOONY, YOU STOLE THE AUTHORS STORY???!!!!

Lupin: The Author kind of braindead for a moment, so I helped him a bit since this morning.

By now everyone came back to the campsite with the paranoid Ron cured of his phobia of spiders.

Fred: Hey guys, what’s happening?

Sirius: Moony stole the Author’s story and he was the one who has been writing this not so funny chapter.

Everyone went wide-eyed, and disbelief. Lupin squirmed by the fireside.

Neville: (Finally showing up) you’re the one who burned Sirius’ arse.

Lupin: I used the word bum instead of arse and yes I burned Padfoot’s dirty arse. (Sounded ashamed) I’m sorry you guys but the eating food challenge was the Author’s idea.

Sirius: You bloody damn right you’re sorry.

Everyone except Sirius and Lupin: GREAT JOB LUPIN!!!!!

Sirius: What?!

Lupin: Really (Felt surpsrise) thank you.

Sirius: But he made us lost the friggin steak in the first place.

Lupin: Not all at lost, my dear fellow Marauder. *scribbling some words on the parchment* they’re not going to eat those nice steaks.

The Good guys grinned malevolently of a malicious thought. At the Bad Guys camp, their suffering continues when Wormtail was in charged of cooking the steaks while everybody else did the ugly imitation of the jigs for no reason at all.

Wormtail: How do you cook this, squeak, squeak? (Sounded panicked) I’m sure Padfoot and Moony would throw it into the fire.

Wormtail threw the steaks into the fire and the good meat was spoiled and toasted.

Wormtail: Now we wait for ten minutes.

Ten minutes later…..

Wormtail: Oh ooo, I’m screwed.

Snape: Peter Pettishrunk, what have you done to our dinner?

Voldermont: You have cost us a great dinner!!!

Pansy: Get him!

The whole Bad Guys crew chased Wormtail into the woods and ended up hunting Wormtail and pounded on him and every one of them got lost in the woods because they chased the rat too deep.

~ Final Day~

Straight away to the Immunity Challenge, the Good Guys came early, fit as a fiddle and ready to meet the challenge. The Bad Guys on the other hand came undone, tired and lost.

Sirius: You returned the story to the author of this fic? (Whispering)

Lupin: Yup.

Jeff: I hope you have the strength for today.

The Bad Guys: Yeah, (Sounded lazy)

The Good Guys: Jolly Good.

Jeff: Whatever…. Today’s challenge combines your mental strength and your stamina. All of you must stand on the poles in the water. If you fell off the pole or even put your lazy butt on the pole you’re eliminated. Now survivors, please swim to the poles.

Everyone swam to the poles; Harry needed help from both Sirius and Lupin to swim across to get to the poles. Everyone have climbed on the poles and tried to adjust themselves to stand better.

Jeff: the game has started for immunity, survivors ready?

Everyone nodded vindictively.

Jeff: GO!

Fred: Go where we can go anywhere, stupid bloke.

Jeff: It’s just a figure of speech, you moron.

Fred: Who you calling a moron, moron.

Frustrated, Jeff threw a rock at Fred and he fell into the water.

Harry: HEY! No Fair!!!

Jeff: No the odds are even. Fred swam to me.

Fred swam towards Jeff and started a fight with him. They have to be separated by gorillas from the movie ‘George of The Jungle.’ After an hour of standing, some of them were having a problem, mainly McGonagall who seemed to be suffering from total exhaustion.

McGonagall: I’m too old for this.

Sirius: Are you alright, Minerva?

McGonagall: I’m not so su…. (Suddenly faints and fell into the water)

The Good Guys panicked, Harry acting on his hero instinct jumped into the water to save McGonagall but forgotten that he could not swim. Sirius, Lupin, Ron and Neville jumped into the water to save Harry and McGonagall, thus eliminating themselves. The girls were only one left.

Hermione & Ginny: Damn!

Draco: Well, well, what do we have here, the mudblood, the weasel and the lunatic.

Ginny: That’s it, its time for desperate measure.

Ginny started doing some very provocative, sexy and adultery posing that swoon the Bad Guys.

Draco: Oh my.

Snape: Oh god.

Draco, Snape, Voldermont, Wormtail, Fudge fell into the water. Now only seven are left.

Hermione: How come you guys are not affected? (Glaring at Blaise and Zacharias)

Blaise: Girls assets cannot hypnotize us.

Zacharias: Yeah.

The remaining people watched the failures on the beach, the Good Guys tried to help McGonagall. Ron bent down and somehow his butt was shown through the trousers.

Blaise, Zacharias & Luna: Oh Ronald (Fell into the water)

Hermione & Ginny: Ew.

Pansy: Well, well, Granger wants to take on the Great Pansy.

Hermione: In your dreams.

Umbridge: Eh hem.

Hermione & Ginny: (Leaned towards Umbridge) shut up! (But accidentally fell into the water)

Jeff: Bad Guys win!

Bad Guys laughed devilishly, the Good Guys helped McGonagall all the way back to the camp. They have to attend the Tribal Council but before that, some strategy needed to be discussed by the trio.

Harry: Who you’re going to vote?

Ron: McGonagall…. Cause she looked sick.

Hermione: *Furious*I’m not going to vote McGonagall; we need her if there is a game show for smart people.

Harry: I agree with Ron, Hermione, McGonagall looked like she’s dying.

Hermione: Oh! Siding with Ron again are you, Harry. It’s always like it and always will be. (Dashed off away from them)

Harry: Hermione wait. (Chasing Hermione)

Ron: Go man, go….. (Grinned maliciously) now to talk to Ginny and Neville, and get some honey from Luna.

Harry managed to catch up with Hermione and held her in his arms but she tried to pushed him away.

Harry: Listened to me Hermione.

Hermione: What’s to listen? You’re voting out my favourite teacher.

Harry: I know but she’s sick. Besides we have another smart woman already.

Hermione: Who? (Knew the answer already and giggled)

Harry: You dummy. (Chuckled)

At the Tribal Council, the Good Guys looked rather glum for the first time. They took a seat by the fireplace, looking nervously at a very brusied Jeff Probst who shot a Death glare at Fred.

Jeff: Welcome to the Tribal Council, we would vote for who is the weakest or immature (Glaring at Fred) would be voted out. But first thing first, Luna, what experience you got from staying here on this island for six days?

Luna: Well, I got to see Ronald 24/7, (Ron blushed furiously) and got to find a rare animal, the Contorted Hog. (Jeff was clueless whilst Hermione sighed out a frustration.)

Jeff: okay, good story and now time for vote, Sirius, you first.

Sirius walked to the shag room, wrote a name down on a parchment and showed his vote in front of the non existence camera.

Sirius: Minerva, no hard feelings.*winked* (^_*)

Neville: Ginny asked me to vote for you, sorry.

Hermione: I’m voting you Ron because I could not vote McGonagall because she’s my favourite teacher and you’re a prick head.

Harry: I like pie.

After all said and done, Jeff went into the shag room and smoked some weed first and checked the KFC bucket. He then went out with the bucket.

Jeff: Alright I’ll read the vote, first vote – McGonagall (Hermione felt lost) second vote – Minerva, third vote – Sirius (Sirius felt surprised), fourth vote – Ron (Ron sent a glare at Hermione), fifth vote – McG or McGonagall (McGonagall chuckled), sixth vote – Minerva, seventh vote – the first Good Guys to be voted out of the game is Minerva McGonagall.

McGonagall stood up and hugged everyone; she kissed them on the cheeks for good luck. Hermione cried when she hugged McGonagall.

McGonagall: It’s alright, Ms. Granger, you still have your friends. (Shed tears)

She then went to Harry fro some quick encouragement talk.

McGonagall: Go show what Gryffindors are made of, Mr. Potter.

Harry: Will do, McG, will do. (McGonagall chuckled)

Jeff: I’m sorry to say, the tribe has spoken, you may go off with great respect from your friends.

McGonagall: Good bye.

GOOD GUYS: BYE!!! WE MISS YOU.

She left with utmost no regrets; Hermione buried her face on Harry’s chest.

Jeff: With that I bid you farewell (Everyone looked puzzled)

Jeff flicked his finger and the nine Good Guys were floating around in 70’s  type swirling portal with all the colours and the funky rock music.

Ron: ARGH! What’s going on?

Hermione: We’re going back to the same place.

Harry: WOOO HOOOO this is fun.

Sirius: You said it. (Excited)

The nine flew around unknown to where they were going but one thing for sure they got tanned.

McGonagall: I’m happy to be part of this journey, it was an experience I never forget even though it was short but fun. I hope Harry kicked some Slytherin arse.

End of Survivor….

The Start of the Wheel…..