The Valentine's Day Disaster--Harry Potter Style

AN: Yes, I know it's a bit late, but here it is. I have been killing myself trying to get Before I Go done and out of my head...one more chapter to go, thank Merlin!! That story has turned into a nightmare for me! (Thanks for the reviews, though, as always!!)

Anyway, here is a bit of fluff and humor for you. I don't especially like Valentine's Day. Seems like just another boring day of the year for Hallmark to sell more ridiculously over-priced cards and for Godiva to sell more chocolate (although I can't fault Godiva for ANYTHING!!)

I hope you enjoy this one. I don't know how many chapters it'll be yet. Guess it depends on how long it takes to get to the end.

Disclaimer: It all belongs to JK Rowling. A sincere thank you for creating this truly wonderful world to play in!!

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Chapter 1—Hedwig, What Have You Done?
February 14

“Argh! What else could go wrong today?” Harry asked out loud as he fumbled around the room looking for his other shoe.

An annoyed chirping from the window sill made him look up. “Yes, I know I haven’t finished it yet.” He told Hedwig. “Just a second, okay?” The snowy white owl hooted once, then was silent as she watched her master with amusement in her eyes.

Finally finding the shoe he was looking for under the pile of clothes on the chair, Harry sat himself down at his desk and looked at the blank parchment. He still couldn’t come up with the right words. He wanted to make his proposal to Hermione the most spectacular proposal in recorded human history, but so far, his brain wasn’t cooperating. He sat back and ran his hand through his still wet hair. Glancing up at Hedwig, he frowned. “What?”

She looked away, like she shrugged her shoulders at him. ”You’re a lot of help.”

He picked up his quill and started writing. This proposal was going to come in two parts. First, a quick not-too-obvious note announcing his intentions. And second, the actual proposing—the whole down-on-one-knee thing. He frowned at what he had written, then crumpled up the parchment and threw it at the waste basket. It did not hit it’s intended target, but simply joined the other crumpled up parchments on the floor.

“I got it.” Harry suddenly said, startling Hedwig. She hooted angrily at him, then tucked her beak under wing and went back to sleep. Suddenly working with renewed vigor, Harry wrote three lines on the parchment.

I love you!
Fancy spending the rest of your life with me?
Yes, or no?

He sat back and looked at it, a smile spreading across his face. “That’s it.” He looked up at Hedwig. “Hey.”

She opened one eye and looked at him as he rolled up the parchment, wrapped a red bow around it, and attached it to his trusted owl’s leg. “Would you take this to...” his voice trailed off as he suddenly thought of something he forgot to do for Ron. “Luna.” He mumbled, looking for something else on his desk. “Luna, Luna, Luna.”

Hedwig snipped at his finger and flew through the open window. Harry looked up at her and smiled, letting out a sigh. “Well, there it goes. The smartest thing I’ve ever done, or my death sentence.” He chuckled and got up, going to the fireplace. Throwing a handful of ash into the fireplace, he shouted, “Ron Weasley!”

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At Ron’s house across town, Harry’s head popped out of the fire. “Hey, Ron! You home?”

A few seconds later, the red-haired best friend of the Boy-Who-Lived walked into the room. “Harry!” He said. “What’s up?”

“I couldn’t find that article you wanted for Luna.” Harry said.

Ron shrugged. “No big deal. Just thought she might have liked to read it is all....”

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As Ron was speaking to Harry downstairs, Luna was straightening up her and Ron’s bedroom. She scowled as she picked up his jacket he had left draped over the chair. “How many times do I have to tell him to hang up his coat....” Her voice trailed off as a small velvet-covered box dropped to the floor. “What’s this?” She murmured, picking it up, the coat forgotten. She sat down on their bed and flipped the box open. “Oh my God!” She breathed.

At the same moment, she heard a pecking on the window and looked up to see Hedwig staring at her impatiently from the other side of the glass. Luna slowly got up and walked to the window in a daze. She opened it and Hedwig jumped onto the desk, sticking her leg out. Luna carefully took the parchment tied with a red ribbon and unrolled it. As she read it, tears flooded her eyes. “Oh, Ronald!” She squealed. She grabbed Hedwig and squeezed her, the white owl letting out a shriek of terror. With the ring box and note in her hand, she ran from the room to find her beloved.

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“...yeah, . Please don’t be late.” Harry said. “I can’t do this without my support unit.”

Ron mock saluted him. “See ya later, Captain.” He said. Harry smiled then his face disappeared from the fire.

Suddenly, in a whirlwind of blonde, Luna hit Ron full force, knocking them both onto the couch. “Luna, what the bloody hell....” His words were cut off by a searing kiss from his girlfriend.

“Oh, Ronald! I knew it would be this year! I just knew it!” She could barely contain her excitement.

He didn’t have to pretend to be confused. He was. And he voiced as much. “I don’t have the slightest clue what you’re talking about sweetie.”

She shoved the ring box into his face and smiled at him. “Don’t you?”

Ron’s face fell. Oh, bloody hell. “Um, Luna, that’s not....”

“And this note? How sweet!! Using Hedwig to send it so I wouldn’t think it was from you? Brilliant!” She threw her arms around him. “My answer is yes!”

Ron swallowed hard. “Yes?”

Luna showed him and the note and Ron’s face paled as he read it. Oh, crap! Harry! Your bloody owl delivered your note to the wrong place! AND Luna found the ring!!! How am I going to get out of this one? Gently pushing her back off of him, he gave her a kind smile. “Luna, luv, I don’t think....”

“It’s so sweet of you, Ron!” She giggled. “You’re such a silly little man. Asking me through a letter instead of in person. Were you afraid I’d say no? As if I could.” She scolded gently.

Ron’s brain was screaming at him to tell her the truth right then and there, before things got out of hand. But the look of sheer joy and happiness on her face was making his heart say she doesn't have to know right this second. Let her live in the moment.

So instead of telling her that the ring was actually for Hermione and he was just keeping an eye on it for Harry so Hermione wouldn’t find it, and that the note was actually written by Harry for Hermione, he just smiled. “As if you could.” He said, then kissed her. You are in such trouble, Ronald Weasley.

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Harry was a complete nervous wreck. Not only could he not decide what to wear to the most important dinner of his life, but the message he had sent to her earlier in the day had gone unanswered.

“Harry, will you stop pacing and sit down for a minute?” Remus said, sounding exasperated. “You’re making me nervous.”

Harry sat down hard in the chair beside his bed and put his head in his hands. “What if she doesn’t want to marry me, Remus?” He asked, his voice full of doubt and insecurity. He looked up at his surrogate Godfather with scared eyes. “What if she says no?”

Remus smiled affectionately at the young wizard. “Harry,” He said, kneeling in front of him, “she loves you. You know that, right?”

“Does she?” Harry asked. “If she did, she would have answered me.”

“Maybe she’s waiting to answer you tonight.” Remus suggested. “Did you ever think of that? Did you actually ask her to respond?”

Harry thought about it. “Well, no. Not directly. I just assumed she would send back a reply.”

“You see?” Remus said, standing and patting Harry’s shoulder. “”Nothing to worry about then.”

Harry stood up and. He looked at his watch and started pacing again. “Why is it only ?” He asked. “Why can’t it just be so I can go pick her up and we can get this over with?”

Remus laughed. “You are SO like your father, Harry. He was exactly like this the day he asked your mother to marry him.”

Harry smiled. It was times like this he was so grateful to have someone in his life who had known his parents. “Tell me about it?” He said, sitting down on his bed.

Remus smiled and sat in the chair. “It was just before graduation....”

“I swear to Merlin, Padfoot, if you don’t give me the ring this minute....”

“Keep your trousers on, James.” Sirius teased, pulling the small velvet box out of his robe. “You asked me to keep this for you until the moment, so I’m going to do just that.”

“It’s not like he’d lose it.” Remus said mockingly, looking at Sirius with a mischievous look in his eye.

“Hey!” Sirius bellowed. “I did not lose that!” He said, defending himself.

“No.” James interrupted, folding his arms across his chest. “You didn’t lose it. You just misplaced it, right?”

“Yeah, right.” Sirius said, grinning.

James snorted. “It was only Lily’s Christmas present!”

“You didn’t tell me that, you prat!” Sirius shouted. “If you had told me that, I would have been more careful.”

“What different should it have made?” Remus interceded.

“Oh, sod off, both of you.” Sirius said, dejectedly. Remus laughed at him.

James went back to pacing. “What if she says no?” He said, biting his nails again. “What if she laughs in my face and....”

“Will you just relax?” Sirius said, putting his arm around his nervous friend’s shoulder and handing him the small box. “There isn’t anyone else on this earth more dashing and suave than you...well, except maybe me...and she’d be loony to say no.”

James took the box from him. “That’s comforting.”

Remus put his hand on James’ shoulder and smiled at his dear friend. “We’ll all be celebrating and laughing about this later. After she says yes.”

James sighed. “Thanks.”

Harry couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he had tried. To hear about the day his father had proposed to his mother filled him with such a joy he couldn’t describe it. He actually had to wipe a tear from his cheek. “Did he love her?” Harry asked quietly. "I mean really?"

Remus regarded his young friend with a gentle smile. “More than I could ever say.” He said. “Very much like you and Hermione.” Harry blushed and looked down. “Although I have to say, the two of you would have given them a run for their money.”

Harry smiled, then let out a long sigh. “I love her so much I....I...I can’t breath when she’s around. I can feel her presence the minute she walks into a room. Her voice can lull me to sleep even at a whisper. Her hands are so warm and soft....” Harry stopped himself when he felt Remus looking at him. “What?”

He just shook his head. “You, my friend, have got it bad.”

Laughing, Harry nodded. “You have no idea.”

Remus stood up. “Come on. Let’s get you into something appropriate to meet your lady love in, and then go downstairs for a fire whiskey before you go.” He said, patting Harry’s shoulder. “I think we could both use one.”

“I think I need two.”

Two hours later...

Harry straightened his tie in the hallway mirror, then put his overcoat on. They were going to dinner in a muggle part of , so robes were out of the question. “How do I look?” He asked the mirror.

“Very handsome, deary.” It said.

Harry grinned. “Thanks. That’s what I was going for.” He made sure he had his wallet, then ran his hand through his hair. “Remus! I’m leaving.”

The older man came out of the kitchen and smiled. “Have a good time. And remember, the hard part is already over.”

“And what would that be?” Harry asked.

Remus smiled. “Winning her heart.” Harry grinned as Remus put his arm around him. “Just be yourself, Harry. And don’t be nervous. It’s just Hermione.”

Harry shook his head. “There isn’t anything just about her, Remus.” He said very seriously. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Here I go. Merlin, I hope Ron remembers to bring the ring.”

“Good luck.” Lupin said as Harry walked out the door and into his future.

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Harry pulled his car up to the curb in front of Hermione’s flat. He took a deep breath, ran his hand through his unruly hair again, and got out. Walking up to the door, he cursed, then ran back to the car. “Good job, idiot. Forget the flowers.” He got them from the back seat, then walked up the sidewalk. He closed his eyes, shuffled his feet, then rang the bell. Here goes nothing.

“Just a minute.” He heard from inside, seconds before the door opened.

Nothing could have prepared him for the vision that stood before him. She was dressed in a dark red dress, fitted perfectly to her body. Her hair was up, but several lose tendrils hung down around her face and neck. She was the very definition of beautiful. Harry realized that he had been standing there staring at her. “Um, hi.” Way to go, idiot! Not exactly the way to greet the women you love on the day you’re going to ask her to be your bride!

She smiled, blushing slightly. “Hello, Harry. You look very handsome.” She said.

Harry blinked and cleared his throat. “Um, thanks. Oh, here,” he said, handing her the roses, “for you.”

Hermione smiled and took them. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.” She stepped aside and allowed him to enter her flat before she closed the door behind him. “Just give me one minute.” She said going into the kitchen, presumably to put the roses in a vase.

Harry stood in the foyer staring at himself in the mirror. You didn’t even tell her how beautiful she looked! You are such a prat!

“Help me?” He suddenly heard her voice behind him, shaking him out of his self-chastising. He spun around and saw that she had her coat held out to him. He absent-mindedly took it from her and held it open while she slipped her arms into it. “Thanks.” She buttoned it up, and clutching her bag to her chest, she smiled up at him. “Shall we go then?”

“Um, yeah, sure.” He said, offering his arm to her. She eagerly accepted it and walked beside him as he escorted her to his car.

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The first few minutes of the ride were quiet. Very quiet. Usually silences between them weren’t uncomfortable, but this one was. And Hermione was getting nervous. “Harry?” He appeared to be a million miles away. She reached over and put her hand on his leg, causing him to jump. She looked at him with concern. In the two years they’d been dating he had never reacted to her touch that way. But this simple gesture of comfort seemed to have him bouncing off walls. “You all right?”

“Hmm? What? Oh, yes. I’m fine.” He said. Calm! Be calm! Remember what Remus said. It’s just Hermione. Yeah, Hermione who just put her hand on my leg. Hermione who looks amazingly beautiful tonight. Hermione who smells like vanilla and cinnamon. Hermione who has no idea the power she has over me....

“....to see Luna and Ron.” Shit! She’s talking, isn’t she? What did she say? Concentrate you git!

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” He asked out loud.

Hermione scowled at him. Now she was sure there was something wrong. He was very agitated. Nervous even. “I was saying it’ll be good to see Luna and Ron.” She said. “I haven’t seen them in a few weeks.”

“Oh, um, yes.” He replied. Did she even get the note? She’s acting like she didn’t. She’s acting like everything is just fine and dandy. Here we go, Harry and Hermione just going out again for a night on the town like we have been for the past two years. I'm so doomed.

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Fortunately for Harry, the restaurant wasn’t too far from Hermione’s flat so they were there in no time.

He parked the car, rushed around to her side and helped her out, then they walked into the building. After handing their coats to the coat-check lady, Harry took her hand and they walked to the hostesses’ table. "Four for Potter at ?"

She smiled at them and checked the name off in her book. "Someone will seat you in just a moment, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you." As the lady turned to attend to another guest, Harry turned to look down at his lovely girlfriend. "You look radiant." He whispered as he gently touched her cheek with his finger.

Hermione felt herself blush. She had to look away from his eyes. They were too intense at that moment and she feared that if she stared into them much longer, she would lose any self-control she always had to maintain when they were in public. Otherwise, she would just jump on him and tear his clothes off of him right there in the restaurant. Her want and need for this man was well beyond normal. He was like a drug to her...and the more she got, the more she wanted. "Thank you." She said.

He lifted her chin and smiled at her, kissing her lightly. "I mean it. You are breathtaking."

"Harry, stop." She said, looking away. Harry grinned. Clearly she was embarrassed, but in a good way.

He discretely checked his watch. 6:25. "They should be here any minute." He said. Where the bloody hell are you, Ron! And please tell me you have the ring!

Harry's stomach was in knots. He didn't remember a time in his life when he had been this nervous. Facing Voldemort hadn't been this bad! He looked at his watch again and then looked towards the entrance. He relaxed a little bit when he saw Ron's unmistakable red hair and then he and Luna came through the door. "Finally." He breathed quietly, smiling at them. "Hey!"

"Hermione!" Luna squealed and ran up to her friend, shoving her left hand in Hermione's face. "Look!! Look what Ronald gave me!"

Hermione gasped at the beautiful diamond ring on Luna's finger and smiled, tears filling her eyes. "I'm so happy for you!" She said sincerely, giving her friend a hug.

Harry, on the other hand, was not happy. In fact, if looks could kill, Ron would have been dead already. Ron swallowed nervously as Hermione hugged him and he heard something like "I'm so happy for you, Ron" but the words sounded a million miles away. All he could focus on was the glare he was getting from Harry.

"Mr. Potter?" The hostess asked, touching his arm gently to get his attention.

"What?" He snapped, looking at her.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted, clearly embarrassed at his outburst as others in the lobby were watching them.

Harry grinned sheepishly at the hostess. "I'm sorry." He said sincerely.

The woman grinned and nodded. "Would you like to be seated now?"

He looked back at Ron. "Yes, please."

"Very good, sir. Please follow me." She said. The girls followed her, chatting away about the ring, but Harry and Ron were left standing in the lobby. Ron felt himself cowering under Harry’s intense gaze. At that moment, he wished he had been better at transfiguration. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to turn himself into a rabbit and disappear into a hole.