Home Again

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author’s note: Since I haven’t posted much of anything for a while, I thought a little allegory would be fun and different. And owing to the fact that Half-Blood Prince will be out soon, this also seemed rather appropriate…

Much of the credit for this goes to Debbie R. and Lynne W. —for the sheer inspiration of this piece and for whose ideas I have borrowed thriftily from their imaginations and shaped into what has become something of my own. I thank you ladies—for this and past thoughts—and hope you would be nothing but pleased at the results.

There is a direct quote in this story from CoS, p. 333 (U.S. Edition).

***

The way was familiar, yet different somehow as I walked along the corridors—down one staircase, then up another—just as I had done countless times in the past. So many times I had traveled this path, the first time as clear in my mind now as the day I’d been introduced to the magical world. Little had changed these incredible surroundings; it was I myself who was different. The fact that there was no one walking with me, just as there had been no one then, only served to remind me that this was something I had to do alone.

I stopped a moment, hesitating, my eyes trying to focus on the double doors in the distance—the doors that would or would not open upon my arrival.

What had he once told me?

"Home is where your heart is," I whispered aloud, nodding to the air to tell him I remembered. I closed my eyes as overwhelming emotions threatened to boil up and spill out from within me like the contents of a bubbling cauldron.

He had taught me many things. They all had…

Distant words echoed in my ears. It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities...

I could turn back now, but no! I had to go on. That was my choice.

My determination rising, I walked forward with purposeful strides as the beckoning safety of the vision before me reminded me of so many memories, so many dreams. With a sense of urgency, my pace quickened. I needed that security of the past to push me forward now, to protect me, to remind me, to restore hope to my soul. I had been alone for so long now…

As my footfalls reached the bottom landing—the sound echoing hollowly in the empty hall—a thought struck me. What if the doors didn’t open?

Pausing uncertainly, I turned around for an instant, but there was nothing worth looking for behind me now. Without another hesitation, I turned back toward the double doors and perched my hand in mid-air to knock. My heart pounding, the excitement rising over me like a swift tide, my fingers were lost in empty space a second before finally touching against solid wood.

I was really here, really doing this. It had been so long…

When the doors opened before me, candlelight filtered through from inside, momentarily blinding my eyes to whomever had answered my call. I felt the touch of a hand against mine before my vision cleared and I looked up to meet the eyes of a man whose hand was holding my own in a warm, welcoming grasp.

A tear slowly trickled its way down my cheek.

"I wasn’t sure I would see you again, speak with you again," I whispered, my voice barely audible even in the intensely quiet hall.

Were those the right words to say?

But he nodded calmly, and I noticed his wise eyes showed no surprise at finding me on his doorstep.

"It’s been far too long since you’ve come to visit us. Everyone has missed you dearly. Well, everyone perhaps but Professor Snape," he said, chuckling softly, and I couldn’t help but chuckle back.

"We had believed you’d grown truly tired—that you’d found everything you needed in the Muggle world—and no longer required anything of us. But now, as I look at you, I can see quite plainly that you’ve missed us as well."

I nodded, realizing that he was right, and a thought stirred somewhere in my brain. Someone had once told me that happiness was reflective; and that statement had never appeared truer than it did staring into the twinkling eyes before me. I knew without any doubts that my eyes were shining that same light back at him.

"My life has not been easy, nor very simple, for a long time," I said honestly. "And there were so many times I didn’t think I’d make it through the day. But now—more than anything—all I wish is to be here.

"With you," I added after a moment. "With all of you."

He smiled warmly at me.

"Then it’s my privilege to welcome you back," he said, pointing behind him to a room full of people—witches and wizards—I hadn’t seen in far too long. "I think you’ve realized by now that the paths have changed. But the way—the way always remains the same. A heart always knows how to find its way home again."

I nodded slowly, accepting his words, as he took my hand and led me over a threshold I hadn’t crossed in some time. Immediately, a familiar lump rose in my throat as I felt sheer joy filling my heart and mind once more.

"Albus Dumbledore," I turned to look up at him. "I’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed everyone."

Looking around the Great Hall, there were so many faces I recognized. Hermione and Ron. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. Remus Lupin and Hagrid. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Ginny, Fred, and George. Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. And yes, even Severus Snape was there—albeit minus the smiling lips that were adorning the rest of the gathering crowd.

Hermione was the first to come over to my side, her bright eyes light and free of the worry I’d seen in them last. It was a fresh day, a fresh start, and like this girl, I no longer carried any of those old burdens with me.

"We’ve missed you as well," she said with a smile, understanding my happy gaze as I stared at all of my old friends. "Your words and your laughter. And sometimes even your rather unpopular opinions."

I raised an eyebrow, chagrined but resigned that not everyone would always see eye-to-eye with me on every subject.

"But come with me," Hermione added in that all-too-familiar hurried tone of voice that left no room in my thoughts for past rights or wrongs. "I know there’s someone who will most certainly want to sit you down and tell you all the latest news of Hogwarts."

I wanted to hug her, but resisted the urge, for I knew those arms lay waiting for the one person who was more than her friend—but her partner and other half of her soul…

And as that sweet thought filled my mind, along came a green-eyed boy I knew well. Time hadn’t changed his vibrancy or even his youth (nor tempered the black hairs on his head, to be sure). He was still the same boy I had met long ago, along this very same path, at this very destination. I had thought then that he, like me, had wanted nothing more than to find a home, a family… I had liked that about him. In fact, that was one of the things I had liked best.

And seeing him now, looking as he was, I was glad that some things never changed…

"Harry!"

I greeted him as Hermione and Ron flanked his sides. Then the others gradually grouped around us in a circle.

Harry’s wide, familiar eyes met mine behind those famous round spectacles and I smiled in delight.

It was so good to be home…