Twisted Logic

Chapter 1: Hiding Behind Something, Or Other

He felt like he was drowning. Almost as if he was stranded out in the ocean. Or, as if he was on a roller coaster, spiraling downwards into nothingness.

How could he have let things go this far? He loved her, that much was for sure, but she acted like she almost didn't even know his name. She was beautiful, and he felt like a slug.

Of course, she didn't treat him like a slug, but when it came to love, she would always shun him away, without even realizing. He just felt like he would forever be stuck in the 'friends' phase. Nothing he did for her would be noticed, it was as if she was completely blind to his actions.

But, how could she be? She was the cleverest girl... Ah, heck, the cleverest person he knew!

She would sit, and watch with her chocolate eyes. Wonder, and mystery hidden within their depths. Her brown curly hair would gently graze her shoulders, making her look elegant, and gorgeous. Her smile was paralyzing, sending tingles up his spine, and her voice was sweet music in his ears.

But she would never understand what she meant to him, because she was too busy with her head in the clouds. Too busy dreaming about what she could become, what she could do to help others. She was so selfless, and didn't spend much time worrying about what she wanted out of life.

And so, he would have to find a way to make her see. Find a way to get her to notice. He would have to go to drastic measures to please her in any, and every way possible.

He would make her see... He would make her realize just how much he loved her.

-------

"Harry, could you pass me that pen over there?" She asked, pointing to the kitchen table.

Harry sighed, "Here..." He walked over, grabbed the pen, and placed it gently in her outstretched hand. "I don't understand why you have to do this today. You're speech on Elf rights isn't until next Wednesday." Harry whined slightly, giving her a pleading look, which she didn't even notice, for she was too busy reading over her speech.

"Oh, Harry. You know I don't like leaving things until the last minute. It's very..." Hermione took the pen to her lips, biting on the end, and looking up at Harry to try and think of a word. "Very, unorganized." She finished, nodding slightly in the satisfaction of finding a suitable word.

Harry rolled his eyes as she looked back down at her speech. "I saw that, Harry." She said, not looking up.

Harry went slightly red, "Sorry, Hermione. I just don't see why you have to do this now. I mean, couldn't you do it tomorrow?" Harry continued to plead, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. A battle that he had lost at least two years ago.

"No." She said simply, "I have a meeting to go to tomorrow. Being a public speaker isn't all fun and games you know. I represent a peace-making organization, Harry. I can't just forget to do something, or put it off until the last minute!" She said carefully, still not looking up from her speech. "Besides, it would make me look very undependable, I can't have that."

"No, Hermione. Not undependable... Human. It would make you human!" Harry muttered bitterly, turning around in frustration, and grabbing his coat off of the armchair. He pushed his hands roughly into the sleeves, draping it on his shoulders, and zipping it up.

Hermione finally looked up from her speech, "Where are you going? It's lashing rain, Harry."

"I think I'll go join Ron at the pub." He said bitterly, his hand grabbing a hold of the door knob.

"Oh, okay." She said quietly, furrowing her brow as she watched him go, shutting the door to their flat with a loud snap.

"I have no idea what's gotten into him lately." She muttered to herself, looking back down at her speech.

-------

"Harry, what's up, mate?" Ron asked, patting him on the back as Harry sat down beside him in front of the bar, fifteen minutes later.

"What'll it be?" The bar tender asked immediately.

Harry looked at the pint of Heineken Ron was drinking. "I'll have what he's having." He answered. The bar tender nodded in understanding, and went off to pour him a fresh pint of beer.

"Eh, good on ya, man." Ron nodded, speaking slightly louder then necessary, as he gave Harry a lopsided grin, and took another swig of the golden-coloured beer. He was red in the face, and his breath smelled of alcohol.

"Ron, mate, what'd you do to yourself?" Harry said, plugging his nose from the stench of heavy alcohol.

"Whaddya mean? I'm fine!" Ron replied, his words slightly slurred.

"No, you're not. Look, you finish your pint, I'll have mine, and we'll go home, okay?" Harry said firmly, looking at Ron in the eye so he would listen.

Ron grinned again, stupidly, "Okay."

"Here you are!" The bartender smiled, placing the pint of beer carefully down in front of Harry.

"Ooh!" Ron said in the voice of a toddler, as if the bartender was handing out sweets. He took the last swallow of beer and slammed his glass down on the table. "Another one for me please!" He piped up cheerily.

The bar tender looked at Harry as if waiting for his permission. Harry shook his head, and mouthed, "Water."

The bar tender nodded, and hurried off to get Ron a glass of water.

Harry took one look at Ron and sighed, picking up the pint of beer and taking a drink.

"So, why'd you come down here? You haven't joined me at the pub in months!" Ron looked slightly hurt and offended when he reminded himself of this.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just really haven't had the time, and I've had a lot on my mind." Harry said, looking down at the beer in his hand. He then smiled, looking up at Ron. "And besides, mate. I think you've been drinking enough for the both of us. You really need to stop coming here so often."

"Aw, but I like it here!" Ron whined, his childish air still hadn't gone.

"Yes, but this place is like a second home to you. That's not good, Ron. It's not healthy." Harry replied, keeping eye contact with him still, grasping at Ron's attention.

A glass of water was placed in front of Ron, and he stared his nose down at it. "I asked for beer." He said bluntly.

"Ron, it's water. Just, drink it. You need to clear your system." Harry advised, taking another long swig of his beer, trying to finish it as quickly as possible so they could leave before Ron went into a drunken temper tantrum.

"But... I want beer!" He whined again, looking at Harry pleadingly.

"Ron, just drink it, please?" Harry looked back, just as pleading. He took yet another swig of his beer, using his other hand to nudge the water in front of Ron.

"But, I don't WANT it!" Ron raised his voice, knocking the glass out of the way gently. Some of the water sloshed out of it, and onto the counter.

"Ron!" Harry said firmly, pushing it back carefully in front of him.

"No!" Ron raised his voice another octive, pushing the glass out of the way so hard, it tipped over, spilled, and rolled off of the bar, smashing on the floor.

Harry groaned in frustration. "Sorry, man. Here..." Harry pulled out a twenty pound note, finishing off the last gulp of his beer. "Does this cover everything?" Harry looked at the bartender carefully.

"Yes, it does my son. Thank you." He replied politely, looking at Ron and tsking.

"No problem." He nodded in his direction, getting up from the stool and taking Ron firmly by the elbow and literally dragging him away from the bar. "Come on, Ron. Let's go home."

"Bye-bye, beer man!" Ron said loudly, so the whole pub could hear, waving like a little four year old. Harry restrained himself from rolling his eyes as he continued to pull Ron firmly by the elbow, heading for the door. He felt like he was the father, and Ron was the son. It wasn't the best feeling in a case like this.

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"Oh. My. God. What happened to him?!" Hermione asked frantically, rushing to the door as Harry dragged Ron through it.

They looked a right mess, having been caught in one of the heavier showers, and spending twice as long getting home because Ron kept looking at all the pretty lights in shop displays.

Not to mention, he scared a little kid, caused a woman to hit him repeatedly with her hand bag, and nearly got hit by a bus, all because he was acting like a monkey from the zoo.

And, of course, to top it all off, their was a puddle on the side of the road, and a car ran through it carelessly, splashing them from head to toe in muck and dirty water.

Needless to say, Harry was not a happy camper, and Ron was too intoxicated to care.

"Oh HERMY!" Ron grinned, running to Hermione and opening his arms wide, trying to hug her. She screamed and saw how wet he was as he came toward her.

Harry had never seen her run so fast in heels. She flew, around the kitchen table, weaving in and out of the wooden chairs as she made her way around the island counter. Ron stopped on the other side of the counter, and looked at Hermione with a pouty look on his face.

"Huggieee!!" He whined. He seemed to be getting younger and younger in his speech patterns. Harry wouldn't have known the difference between him and a two year old.

"How much did he have to drink?!" Hermione asked nervously, keeping an eye on Ron so he didn't decide to sneak up on the other side of the counter.

Harry sighed, walking over casually and sitting down in a wooden chair surrounding the kitchen table.

"I wouldn't know, I only got there at the tail end of it and stopped him from having another pint." Harry muttered in exhaustion, talking more to the table then Hermione as he clutched his forehead, letting it rest there as his elbow rested on the table.

"Oh." Hermione said carefully, still watching Ron.

Suddenly, Ron ran around the left side of the counter, causing Hermione to yelp in surprise. She rushed over to the other side of the counter, her back now facing Harry. She called to him over her shoulder.

"What are we going to do with him? He's such a handful when he's like this!" Hermione asked Harry pleadingly.

"I don't know, what we always do I guess. Calm him down, sober him up... " Harry continued in his 'barely listening' voice.

"We really have to get him to stop drinking...Ah!" Hermione yelped again, running around the left side of the counter now, as Ron tried another fruitless attempt at catching her. "Can you please get him to stop?!" She looked over at Harry for a second. She then remembered she had to watch Ron, and turned back to him.

Harry sighed in annoyance, standing up from his spot at the table, and placing a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Come on, Ron. Sit down." He said, gripping his shoulder with more firmness and steering him back to the table.

"But, I want a hug!" He said, sounding put out, but following Harry none-the-less.

"Hermione will give you a hug when you're dry, okay?" Harry replied carefully, as if he was speaking to a baby.

"Okay." Ron said cheerily, grinning like a toddler as he sat down beside Harry at the table.

"Lets go to bed, Ron." Harry said, standing up suddenly. He couldn't stand sitting there under the gaze of Hermione for much longer. For when she took her eyes off Ron, she turned them to Harry, staring at him as if this was the last time she would get a chance.

Ron groaned, "Aw, do we have to?"

"Yes, Ron. Come on. You need to get over the massive hangover you're going to have, some how." Harry said, in his firm, fatherly voice.

"Alright." He looked over at Hermione and waved cheerily. "Bye Hermy!" He grinned, getting up with Harry, and walking down the hall to their bedrooms.

-------

After 45 minutes, Harry returned to the sitting room, to whitness something he hadn't seen in weeks. Hermione, was lounging out on the couch, watching some TV.

He smiled as he watched, stepping into the room with caution, as if he didn't want to be heard. For if he was, she'd turn back into her uptight self.

But of course, all good things come to an end, and as he came in, one of the floor boards squeaked, startling Hermione.

"Harry! You scared me half to death." She said, looking over at him and clutching her heart in surprise. As Harry suspected, she sat up a little straighter, patting the seat beside her to give Harry some room to sit.

Harry obliged, sitting down beside her and staring at the TV automatically, as if she wasn't even there. He figured, he would play her little mind games. Make her wait for his attention, seeing just how well she could try and grasp it.

"Harry?" Hermione looked at him carefully, speaking quietly, her voice humble.

Oh no, I see,

A spider web is tangled up with me.

And I lost, my head,

And thought of all the stupid things I'd said.

Harry turned to her, and could have died on the spot. She looked so solemn, so trapped. Harry had never gotten a proper chance to look at her eyes, until now. She looked tired, and broken. She looked as if she could have just dropped right on the spot, and fallen asleep with ease. More complex feelings were found in the depths of her eye, but she blinked, hiding them away carefully. Harry hated to see her like this.

"Yes, Hermione?" He asked her politely, watching her carefully.

"Have I..." She paused, her voice getting ready to crack. "Have I changed?" She continued.

Oh no, what's this?

A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle.

So I turn, to run,

And thought of all the stupid things I'd done.

"Changed in what sense?" Harry asked carefully, watching as she put the remote down on the coffee table, and turned to him completely.

"I don't know. Have you just seen any major changes in me?" Hermione asked, in her 'fishing for answers' voice.

When Harry heard that voice, he knew that any little thing he said, or did, was being carefully analyzed in the eyes of Hermione. He knew, she always tried to solve any problem by observing things around her, and he had to be honest, he didn't want to be up for observation today.

"I really honestly don't know. I mean, you've become a bit of a work-a-holic. But, I'm assuming that's because you love your job." He shrugged, tip-toeing carefully around what he was really going to say.

In laymans terms... He sugar-coated his reply.

I never meant to cause you trouble,

I never meant to do you wrong.

Oh, and if I ever caused you trouble,

Oh, no, I never meant to do you harm.

Hermione watched him carefully, doing more of her 'observation' thing. She studied him up and down, as Harry waited with baited breath, for a reply.

"So, you think it's only a small change?" She finally answered, still watching him carefully.

"I don't really know that either. I mean, I haven't had much time to talk to you properly over the last few weeks. This could all just be me, in the end." Harry spoke, almost as if he wasn't controlling himself. As if he was sitting outside of his body, and watching the whole thing.

They both knew, he was lying. He could see it in her eyes, that she didn't believe him.

Oh no, I see,

A spider web, and it's me in the middle.

So I twist, and turn,

Here am I in my little bubble.

"Harry, please don't lie to me." She said bluntly, staring into his green eyes.

Harry sighed, mixed emotions turning in his stomach.

She wants the truth, eh? I don't even think she can HANDLE the truth!

His facial features became bitter. His mind was reeling, his thoughts were running amuck. "What makes you think I'm lying?" He said calmly, in spite of himself. He never broke eye contact, he was going to play her mind game, and win.

"Because, for the simple reason being, you're not putting much heart into your answers. You're never like this, you're never afraid to speak your mind, Harry. You just seem like you're holding back, am I right?"

Singing out,

I never meant to cause you trouble,

I never meant to do you wrong.

Oh, well, if I ever caused you trouble,

Oh, no, I never meant to do you harm.

"Hermione, can we do this another time?" He spoke in the same blunt voice, sighing in annoyance.

"Just, tell me what you were really going to say!" Hermione's voice rose slightly, in frustration. She looked at him, seeming agitated. She never liked it when her 'observations' didn't go as planned.

"Why, Hermione? So you can read me like a book? Don't think I don't know what you're doing. You're trying to solve your own damn problems by observing me!" Harry answered back, matching her tone. He was fuming! How dare she make him answer something he didn't want to!

He was pretty much damned if he did, and damned if he didn't! On one hand, if he didn't answer her questions, she would be mad. And on the other, if he did answer he questions, and truthfully, like she wanted, she'd still be mad!

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" Hermione spoke firmly, sounding highly offended.

They spun a web, for me...

"Like hell it isn't!" Harry muttered angrily. "Fine, you want a truthful answer Hermione? I'll give you one!" Harry practically yelled. He stood up, looking down at her carefully, his face now red from emotion.

Hermione froze, staring up at him, not knowing what to possibly say to him.

"You're scared." He said bluntly. He waited to see if she'd respond, just so he could cut her off.

When no reply came, he continued anyway. "You're scared of anything that isn't routine. You're scared of being spontaneous! But, to top it all off, you're scared of love." He added, seeing how she would react to that.

"What do you mean I'm scared of love!?" She piped up before he could stop her.

"Love is spontaneous, Hermione! And you wouldn't know the first thing about being spontaneous!" Harry yelled back.

They spun a web, for me...

"Yes I would!" Hermione yelled back, standing up also. She placed her hands on her hips menacingly, scowling at Harry in the process.

"Ha. Fine then, prove it to me!" Harry sneered back.

And before Harry knew it, Hermione had leaned in suddenly, pressing her lips into his forcefully, giving him a deep and passionate kiss. His lips tingled, and he didn't fight her off, because of pure shock.

Harry's head swam, she was so quick, he couldn't stop her. But, he couldn't enjoy the kiss, because he knew she didn't mean it. Reluctantly, he pulled away, watching her carefully.

"Don't toy with me, Hermione. Nothing was meant by that. You have to be spontaneous through and through. You have to be tolerant, you have to be kind." Harry's voice broke, "Just don't... don't toy with me."

"What do you mean?" Hermione looked at him, speaking quietly, sincerity etched in her eyes. She was truly confused, what could he have possibly meant by that?

"Just, don't, okay?" Harry said again, his voice going quiet and humble also. "You always clung to what you knew. Your books, your cleverness. You always stuck to what you knew best... You always seemed to hide behind something, or other." He said carefully, turning on his heel, and leaving the room.

The silence was deafening as he shut the door. She almost wished he'd come back and yell at her, just to rid herself of it. But he didn't, he didn't return that night. She was left, to battle the noisy silence alone, lying on the couch, as she waited for sleep, her thoughts eating away at her mercilessly.

They spun a web, for me...

(Coldplay - 'Trouble' From 'Parachutes')

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A/N: Hey All! :D Volià! This, is my new fic! I hope you all like it so far! I find it rather entertaining... I’m trying to branch off of my cutesy writing.. I’m trying to broaden my range, you know? I think this is a very dramatic, slightly angst-filled fic, am I right? :D *laughs* Anyway, again, I hope you like it! I really want everyone’s opinion, so I would be ever so grateful if you could all review, and give it to me! There will be more to come. I don’t know whether I should make this a mini-fic (5 - 10 chapters) or an actually fic (an unlimited amount of chapters)... It all depends! Oh, and yes, there are song lyrics in the posts (not all of ‘em, as you can see).. If you haven’t gotten a chance to listen to the song in this one, you should, it’s BRILLIANT! :D