My Best Friend James Potter

10 –

It was past two in the morning by the time Lily and James arrived in front of Lily’s house. Lily hopped off of the broom and walked over to the front gate. Her hand rested on the gate’s latch as she hesitated, turning around to look at James.

“You don’t have to walk me,” she said. She smiled. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” he said, also smiling. He scratched the back of his neck, shuffling his feet as he did. “Told you I’d have you back from our broom ride by dawn.”

Lily laughed. “Yeah, I’ll remember that, and when dad finds out about this, I’ll tell him at least James got me home by dawn. I’m sure that’ll help thwart his oncoming heart attack.”

The lovely air of simplicity that had been thick around them that night was slowly evaporating. Gradually it was changing into something of wonder and of gaucheness. The awkward silence that had fallen over them only worsened their wonders and uneasiness.

“Well?” Lily said expectantly. “Aren’t you going to tell me good night?”

Blush in the shade of a bright pink colored either of James’s cheeks. “No,” he said.

“No?” Lily looked at him questioningly.

“No,” James said, “because… the night’s half gone. Seems pretty useless to me.”

Lily smiled despite herself. Though that was not the answer she had been expecting, and though some would think it ruined the moment, whatever moment it was, anyway, Lily thought the answer was clever because it was honest.

“Fine,” she said. She pulled up the latch and opened the gate, yet she still did not move an inch. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Today.”

“Oh, right… it’s past midnight,” she said smilingly. “Well, bye.”

“Bye.”

She turned and walked through the gateway. Lily walked down the front path until she reached the porch. She deliberately walked with slow steps, as if stalling. When she was standing before her front door, she turned back around and gazed at James’s distant, shadowy form.

“See you,” she said, for no reason at all.

He laughed. “Yeah, of course.”

Lily smiled again, turning back around and taking a step forward to go inside. Only, she had forgotten to open the door, and so she stepped right into the very closed front door. Immediately she blushed and felt completely clumsy and embarrassed. She could hear James’s distinct chuckle, but she didn’t care. She threw him one last glance before bothering to open the door this time, and then step inside.

It was a long and dark trip up to her room. She passed her fathers door, spotting that there wasn’t any light to be seen from underneath it. Once secure and alone in her bedroom, Lily skipped merrily and then collapsed backwards onto her bed. She couldn’t stop smiling and she looked up at the shadowy ceiling as she did.

For the first time in her life Lily Evans was experiencing a crush. In the past she had thought some boys to be handsome or some to be sweet, but never had she fancied them. She hadn’t paid any mind to any of the boys that had ever asked her out; she had never been interested.

Eventually, she fell asleep with the silly smile on her face, and she knew she was a hypocrite. She had criticized every girl at Hogwarts for being immature and boy-crazy, for grinning stupidly about a boy. It was her turn to do so, and the boy happened to be her closest friend.

Lily’s hopes were high and she knew what she wanted. She only hoped James would want the same.

xxxx

“Another summer afternoon nearly gone,” Sirius said, sighing elatedly. He had his arm around Kady Gavin; apparently the two were back together after a few days of separation. “Prongsey, only a month to go before we get to wreak havoc as official kings of the school. Of course we’ve always been kings, but now it’s official; we’re seventh years, the chiefs, the head honcho’s, the-”

“I think we get the idea, Padfoot,” Remus interrupted, smirking.

“Well, excuse me, Mr. Head Boy,” Sirius said. “Are you going to write us up for detentions this year? You always manage to forget.”

James laughed amusedly. “Moony likes to pretend he’s a rule-abiding student, but deep down he’s a Marauder. He’d never put us in detention would you, Moony?”

“Anyway, if you did,” Sirius said, “we’d have to hex you.”

Remus didn’t answer; he merely chuckled and nodded his head.

“Look who I’ve found,” Tess yelled. She approached the pool alongside Lily. “James, your new best friend is here.”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed. “Tess, such interesting word choice. But why a sixth year is at James’s house in the first place still puzzles me.”

“Play nice you two,” Remus said neutrally.

“Sirius can’t take teasing; he’s sensitive,” Tess said, grinning.

“Hey!” Sirius exclaimed. He took offense to such a remark. “I am NOT sensitive! I am a manly man!”

“Anywho,” James said loudly. “Lily. Isn’t this a nice surprise?”

Lily had yet to say a word. She stood unlike the rest, hands folded behind her back and a simple smile on her face. She was trying desperately to not appear nervous, though she couldn’t get rid of the fluttering butterflies in her stomach.

“James,” she acknowledged. “I don’t think it should be a surprise… I told you I’d see you today.”

“Some would call that a good thing,” Sirius mumbled sourly. Kady was beginning to look uncomfortable with his arm around her.

Lily ignored Sirius. “So, any special plans for today?”

“Nope,” Tess replied.

“I don’t think anything special looks to be going on,” Sirius huffed.

James looked from an irritated Sirius to a quiet Lily, thinking fast.

“Are you coming tonight, Lily?” he asked, changing the subject. “Mum and dad are throwing another dinner party.”

Lily’s suspicious and curious tendencies awoke instantly. Her eyebrows rose and she frowned.

“Another dinner party?” she said. “That’s strange. I guess this one’s banned to us, too, right?”

“They all are,” Tess answered.

“That’s strange,” Lily repeated.

James thought another subject change was in order. “Yeah, well-”

“I just think there shouldn’t be an age restriction on having dinner,” Lily continued. “Of course, if that’s what they’re doing—you know, if they’re actually having dinner.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Here we go.”

“Lily, can I talk to you alone for a moment?” James asked. He did not wait for her reply before he started back toward the house.

Lily watched him pass her by, sighing and shrugging before turning and following. She entered the purely white parlor, James shutting the glass doors after her. She knew what this was about, but she didn’t speak; she stood there and stared at him innocently.

“I think,” James said, “you should come to accept that not every bit of information is going to be revealed to you in your life. There are a couple of things that you’re not meant to know about. I think it’s kind of obvious when this is the case.”

Lily smiled; it was as innocent as her stare. “James, I just think it’s kind of strange that a dinner party would be-”

“Yeah, I know what you think,” James interrupted. “I get it… you know something else is going on.”

“I guess I do,” Lily said, still innocently. “I don’t see how anyone can’t, when it’s become quite obvious. Most of the witches and wizards that attend these dinner parties aren’t even in the same social class as your parents… some are even poorer than a middle-class family like mine, and… well, I’m not saying your family cares about that type of thing, but-”

“You’re quite the sleuth, aren’t you, Lily dear?”

Lily froze in mid-sentence, and both she and James looked over to the doorway. There Mrs. Potter stood adorned in her usual fabulous jewelry, and today sporting witching robes of cerulean blue.

“Oh,” Lily breathed, blushing. “Mrs. Potter, err… I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be nosy. I’ll just… go.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lily dear!” chuckled Mrs. Potter. She entered the room fully and walked right over to one of the chaise lounge chairs. Sitting down in a graceful movement that only she could manage, she motioned for Lily to do the same. “Sit, dear. You’re very curious, and sometimes curiosity is a good thing, despite what most people say.”

Lily hesitated. She looked at James and then at Mrs. Potter, and then at last she moved slowly toward the chaise lounge chair across from Mrs. Potter. James remained standing where he was. He folded his arms and watched the two from there.

“Would you like anything to drink, Lily?” Mrs. Potter asked kindly. “It’s very hot this summer. Warmer than last summer, I think. I could tell Sam or Maim to fix you something cold to cool you off.”

“No thank you,” Lily said, smiling. “I’m fine.”

“Well, what do you want to know?” Mrs. Potter asked in her huskily feminine voice. She made the entire subject sound to be as pleasant as a stroll in the park; it was quite a contrast to the way James and the others treated the subject of these dinner parties.

“Err, I dunno,” Lily said, bemused. “I guess… you can tell me what they are since they’re obviously not dinner parties.”

“All right, Lily. They’re meetings,” Mrs. Potter answered honestly. “Meetings of a society that has been formed by Albus Dumbledore. A fair amount of witches and wizards have been joining; we have been recruiting any witch or wizard brave enough to stand up against You-Know-Who. Some are actually brave enough, but some would rather continue living in their fairytale castle.”

“A society?” Lily said. “So, you lot, you fight You-Know-Who. Does the Ministry know about this?”

Mrs. Potter exchanged a glance with James. “No, as far as I know the Ministry does not. However, with Dumbledore, who knows? He’s the leader… not I, not Victor, no one but the most brilliant wizard of our age. For all I know Dumbledore could have finally gotten through to our Minster.”

“So… it’s illegal?” Lily said slowly.

Again, Mrs. Potter exchanged a glance with James. “I suppose so.”

“Well, that’s wrong then, isn’t it?”

“No.” There was a sharp affect to Mrs. Potter’s tone. “Because something is illegal does not automatically mean it is wrong, not when it is for good.”

“Does this society have a name?” Lily asked.

“We only just decided on a name at the end of last year,” Mrs. Potter replied. “The Order of the Phoenix.”

Lily did not know why, but she felt a shiver run through her. She ignored it.

“All right, let me get this straight, Mrs. Potter.” Lily decided to choose her next words carefully. “You fight You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters; you’re a secret society that goes behind the Ministry’s back, and does their job?”

“That is a very good summary,” Mrs. Potter said, an amused smirk on her face.

“I think it’s wrong,” Lily said frankly. “I think there are better ways for you to get your point across. It’s wrong to go behind the Ministry’s back; you should work as a team. And no one should have to get hurt, not even You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters.”

“Perhaps in a perfect world,” Mrs. Potter said. “But this isn’t one. The Ministry is doing little to nothing to stop You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters. There are times when you need to battle fire with a taste of fire, and that is exactly what the Order of Phoenix is doing.”

Lily still didn’t agree, but she decided not to argue. Instead she looked at James. “Don’t you want to join this society?”

“James is not joining,” Mrs. Potter said at once.

“Why not? I’m of age!” James argued fiercely. He had remained quiet for the past few minutes, but the moment the subject of him joining the Order of the came up, he was loud and defensive. “I’m second in my class in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I got there without being obsessed with the Dark Arts like Snivellus! I’m brave, mum, I’m determined, I’m-”

“James, the answer is no,” Mrs. Potter said firmly. She rose from the chaise lounge chair, and strode over to the doorway. “We can talk about it when you graduate from Hogwarts.”

Once she was gone, James released a loud, angry growl. He looked tempted to break something.

“You really want to join that?” she asked him. “Why? I bet a lot of the members have to kill or be killed. Doesn’t really sound appealing to me.”

“It should,” James snapped. “You-Know-Who is serious, Lily… he doesn’t want to sit down and chat and sip some tea… he wants to eliminate every Muggle, every Muggleborn, and that includes you. If the Order doesn’t stand up to him who will? The Ministry? That’s a funny one.”

“Well, he’s human, isn’t he? He has feelings, emotions, if you really wanted to you could-”

“I don’t think we’re going to agree,” James interrupted coldly. “We won’t until you open your eyes and realize they hate you more than anything, and they want nothing more than you tortured and dead. I’m going back outside. Stay here if you want.”

He spun around and stomped back outside to the pool. Lily shrugged her shoulders, deciding to be stubborn. Romantic thoughts about James had long ago left her mind, and instead they had been replaced by everything Mrs. Potter had told her, and everything James had just said.

They’re wrong, she thought stubbornly. It can be solved without violence, peacefully.

xxxx

“So I’m not exactly the best cook,” said Lily’s dad, chuckling. He dumped the burnt roast beef into the garbage. “I think I deserve points for effort.”

Lily smiled. “Sure dad. You get points for trying. Unfortunately, points aren’t edible.”

“We have leftover cake,” Mr. Evans said. He scratched his head. “We could always eat that for dinner. It was good, wasn’t it? Decent at least?”

Truthfully, Lily didn’t think she could handle any more cake; on top of a slice at her birthday party, she had eaten another two slices of the cake her father had baked her later that evening. She really did feel all caked out for what she knew would be a very long time.

“Err, sure,” she answered hesitantly. “Mmmm… cake!”

She thought it was fairly obvious to tell she was being sarcastic and humoring him, but apparently all males were hopelessly clueless. Her dad didn’t seem to notice a thing; instead, he enthusiastically began a walk to the refrigerator to retrieve the leftover cake. Lily watched with dread as he began to cut her a slice. Thankfully she was saved by the short ring of the doorbell.

“I’ll get it!” she volunteered eagerly. She hurried out of the kitchen and straight to the front door. She didn’t bother to check who it was before turning the knob and opening it. She should’ve, however, because she found herself face-to-face with James. It was in an instant that her heartbeat increased, thudding noisily in her ears.

“Erm,” James said awkwardly. He scratched the back of his neck, stalling as he thought of something to say. “Hi.”

“Hello,” she said, her facial expression of a stony one. Lily wanted to smile, but she forced herself not to.

“That formal, eh?” he said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the way you greeted me… ’hello’, with that stern accent of yours,” said James.

Lily shrugged. “I don’t think I know what you’re talking about.”

For a reason Lily couldn’t quite figure out, James laughed. Her right eyebrow rose, and she stared at him questioningly.

“Are we friends, Lily?” he asked once his laughter had faded.

She didn’t know whether or not that was a trick question. She didn’t answer right away as she wondered what she should say exactly, and why he was even asking the question in the first place when she thought the answer was obvious.

“Yes, of course we are,” she replied finally and curtly. “Even if I want to hex you sometimes.”

“I think you’re a very rude person, Lily,” James said. He gradually came to smirk.

“Excuse me?” she asked. She hadn’t dropped her stern tone just yet. She was afraid that doing so would reveal how nervous she really was when around him.

“You’re rude,” James repeated. He continued to smirk. “I’ve been standing in your doorway for a while now.”

“Oh. Oh!” She blushed, stepping aside. “Come in, then.”

“Who was it?” Mr. Evans called from the kitchen; Lily remembered the horrible slice of cake waiting for her.

“James, dad!” she replied, and then a brilliant idea occurred to her. She looked at James and grinned. “Do you want some cake?” she asked him.

“Cake? Who wouldn’t?” James answered happily.

“Perfect, c’mon!” Lily said, grabbing his hand and hurrying to the kitchen. “Dad!” she shouted as she went, “guess who wants cake!”

xxxx

“That was good,” James said. There was a satisfied look on his face. “Really good. Can never have too much cake.”

Oh, yes you can.

“Remember,” Lily reminded quietly. “I ate my slice… you did not eat mine.”

“Huh? Oh… yeah, yeah, I know.” He dropped down onto the sofa right next to her. “Well, what now?”

“I dunno… what do you want to do?”

“I dunno… where’s your dad?”

“He’s in his room reading… w-why does it matter?” Lily asked tensely. Nerves were overtaking her.

“I dunno,” James said, shrugging. “Just wondering… I think we should watch some of that Muggle television.”

“You want to watch television?” Lily said, snickering. “That’s a good one… you’re amazed by a bloody snow cone, and you want to watch television?”

“I have already watched television, for your information,” James said. “With your dad, remember? We watched football together.”

“Uh huh, sure,” Lily humored.

“We did. I even know how to operate those clicky things,” James said. He rose from the couch and walked over to the television set, retrieving the remote. He pushed the button that read ‘ON’ in capital letters, and grinned with triumphant when the television turned on. “There! See—see that… yeah, told you so.”

Lily couldn’t stop laughing. “James, clicky things?”

James’s face went completely red, no longer shining with triumphant. He walked back over to the sofa and dropped into his seat. Lily continued to look amused even though she thought triumphant James was a bit adorable, especially when he was feeling proud about turning on a television.

“What do you want to watch?” Lily asked. “You can decide.”

“I dunno… something interesting,” James said. After a few attempts he figured out the button that changed the channel, and soon he was flipping between the channels at top speed. He stopped on a game show. “This looks good. What is it?”

“How should I know?”

“You said you’re as much of a Muggle as you are a witch,” James pointed out.

He remembers I said that…

“Well, I… don’t watch much television,” Lily confessed. “Books are my entertainment.”

James rolled his eyes. “Not this book stuff again.”

“Have you ever read a non-academic book in your life—one that didn’t include anything on Quidditch? You know, just for fun,” Lily said.

“Nope, because reading for fun is for bookworms.”

“Well, I’m a bookworm.”

“Does that mean I should be?”

Lily stared at James for a long time, as if deciding something. “No,” she said. “You shouldn’t. It wouldn’t fit you. Stick to Quidditch.”

“I thank you for your permission to,” James said sarcastically. He looked back at the television. “What is that buzzard thing? Strange Muggles.”

“You use it to answer the questions.”

“Like I said, strange Muggles.”

Lily watched James watch the game show on the television screen, and she found that she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t resist looking at him and feeling all sorts of silly, like some hopeless schoolgirl fancying some popular git.

It is kind of like that… I’m just some bookworm and he’s Quidditch star James Potter. What am I thinking? I’m lucky to have him as my friend, and I want more?

Still, it didn’t hurt to hope. Outside the sun had set and the sky was darkening, and the wind was breezy. It became chillier in the family room, and Lily drew her knees to her chest, folding her arms around them. She was glad the room was becoming darker, because her cheeks were turning pinker by the second.

“This isn’t half bad,” James said after a long silence. “This Muggle game show… it’s kind of funny. I can’t believe they’re doing that with custard.”

Lily blushed further. “Yeah, I know.”

She couldn’t even figure out why she was blushing; only that she was enjoying herself sitting beside James watching television. It was so simple and yet so marvelous at the same time.

“You should go on that show,” James said, looking over at her. “You’re brilliant… you’d win.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you could share the prize with me,” he added jokingly.

She said nothing, and a silence fell over them again. Lily smiled to herself after glancing at James through the corner of her eye. She turned her attention back to the television. The smile never left her face.

xxxx

They fought all of the time; sometimes great big arguments that would leave everyone nearby questioning whether or not they would even repair their friendship afterwards. They did. They always managed to fix things and become closer than before.

They disagreed on a lot. She was punctual and he was the late-type. He liked to play Quidditch and to talk about Quidditch, but she enjoyed reading and even sometimes discussing the themes of those books afterwards. Lily believed there was good in everyone, and James believed that, too, only that there was good in everyone but Slytherins and hateful people such as You-Know-Who.

As the days passed, it was only a matter of time before those around them began speculations. A boy and a girl could not be that close and remain strictly friends. Everyone from Mr. Evans to Mrs. Potter to Sirius was expecting something to happen by the end of the summer. It was as if everyone thought it was inevitable.

But it didn’t seem to occur to either of them—on the surface anyway. Apparently it was possible, because as days passed and August was only just a few days away, nothing had happened. They had grown as close as best friends, and nothing had happened. It appeared both were perfectly capable of maintaining only feelings of friendship for the other.

“It’s a shame,” Mrs. Potter said, sighing. She and Mr. Potter were spying on the two sitting on the front steps. “I think they would be just adorable together, and Jamie has been fancying her since he was eleven…”

“Eventually,” Mr. Potter predicted. He put his arm around his wife and smiled. “It’ll happen sooner or later. We were friends, weren’t we?”

“I lent you a quill once, dear. One that you didn’t return. And you thought my name was Patty. I hardly call that friendship.” She looked back out the window, where Lily and James seemed to be having a quiet conversation. “I suppose we’re wrong… I suppose it is possible to only be friends and nothing more.”

xxxx

“Why do you read these things?” Lily asked, tossing a Quidditch magazine aside. She sat up from her sprawling position. “They’re full of Quidditch stats and gossip articles about Quidditch players. What is the point?”

“Why not read ‘em?” James asked. “They’re interesting if you really read them. Which reminds me… tomorrow I’m teaching you how to properly fly a broom.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “No, that won’t be happening.”

“You said you would, remember? You said you would if I read a non-academic, non-related Quidditch book.”

“Have you read a book?” Lily asked. “You haven’t, I’m not stupid.”

“Then what do you call,” James said dramatically, “this? Ha ha! It’s a book—with no pictures!”

Lily took the book from James’s hand and scoffed when she read the title.

“The Witch with No Hat? You’ve got to be kidding me! This book is at a ten-year-old’s reading level!”

“Is not… it’s full of complicated vocabulary,” James said, snatching the book away. He looked somewhat insulted and embarrassed.

There was a short knock on James’s bedroom door before it opened. Sirius walked through followed by Remus and Tess. Sirius stopped short at the sight of Lily on James’s bed.

“Sam didn’t mention you were here,” he said hostilely.

“Did she need to?” Lily asked.

“I guess not since you practically live here these days,” Sirius said, folding his arms. He glared at James. “Hello, James.”

James rolled his eyes. “I feel like this is a love triangle… and I’m cheating on you with Lily.”

Tess couldn’t help sniggering; Remus smiled humorously.

“It’s a friendship triangle and you are,” Sirius snarled.

“Pad, give it a rest,” James said. “You don’t see Moony getting jealous, do you?”

Sirius rounded on Remus. “What’s your problem?” he demanded. “Fight for your friend!”

“Sirius, I think you’ve recently hit your head on something very large,” Remus said, patting Sirius on the shoulder. “You may want to take something for that, mate.”

Lily smiled at Remus’ words as she stood from James’s bed. It was just past eight, and her father had asked for her to be home earlier than usual this evening to pack.

“James, I’ve got to go,” Lily said. “See you.”

She turned and walked toward the door. When she passed Sirius he narrowed his eyes and watched her as if she really were the other woman in the love triangle. Lily was halfway out the door when James called after her.

“Lily—wait!” He hurried after her. “Can we have a word alone?”

She nodded, glancing at Sirius, Remus and Tess.

“Excuse us,” James said. He stepped out into the hall with Lily and closed the door. “Are you really going to go?” he asked her.

“Go where?”

“You know, to visit your mum,” James said.

“Well, of course I am. I’m leaving in two days. You know that, James.”

“It’s only for a week,” James said quietly. “Right? It’s only for a week?”

Lily smiled at him and replied, “Yes, it’s only for a week. I’ll write you loads, and if you ever manage to learn to work a telephone, call me. My mum’s number is…”

Lily pulled her wand from her pocket and grabbed James’s hand, turning it palm-side up. Muttering an incantation he couldn’t make out, she suddenly began tracing the tip of her wand over his palm, as if writing on his hand, and she was. Ink came out of her wand, writing her mum’s number on his hand.

“There you go,” she said, laughing at his surprised look. “It washes off, don’t worry. I’ve got to go, James.”

The surprise look fell off of his face and instead he grinned. “Is there anything you don’t know?”

“How to properly fly a broom, remember?” Lily replied. “You’ll teach me… when I get back, and after you find out if that witch ever gets a hat.”

She turned away and started down the hallway. James stood there, watching her go with the same grin on his lips. When she turned the corner of the hall, he chuckled to himself and finally returned to his bedroom.

“Is she gone?” Sirius asked, cheering and whooping at the air. “At last! Hallelujah!”

“Hang on… I need to speak with her!” Tess said abruptly. She hurried out of the room, and dashed down the hall after Lily. She had to run down several hallways and an entire flight of stairs before she caught her. “Lily!” she panted. “Lily, hang on!”

Lily stopped, spinning around and expecting James to be there. She was quite surprised when it was Tess.

“Tess,” Lily said. “Hello… sorry, I didn’t get to tell you upstairs. Sirius and his jealousy took up-”

“No,” Tess said. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh, all right. What?”

“Do you fancy James?” Tess asked. It was a question that Lily was not expecting at all, one that threw her off guard. “If so, I think it’s about time.”

“I—err, I…” Lily couldn’t form a complete sentence.

“You do,” Tess said, beaming. “Remus and I called this one!”

Lily swallowed hard. “Is it that obvious?”

“To us, but not so to James… are you going to do anything about it?”

“I dunno. I don’t think so,” Lily said. She became curious as to why it mattered. “So what if I do or don’t? Why does it matter?”

“No reason, Lily. Remus and I have only suspected you fancy James. I think he may still fancy you too,” Tess replied innocently. “You should think about it while you’re at your mum’s. I’m sure by then you can decide what you want to do.”

Slowly Lily nodded. “That’s good advice. Thank you, Tess.”

“No problem, Lily. I don’t know if you feel this way, but… I’ve sort of come to consider you my friend. We’ve been around each other a bit this summer, and-”

“You’re a good person,” Lily said. “I’ve come to think that too, Tess.”

A smile lit up Tess’ freckled face. “Great! Well… bye, Lily.”

“Bye!” Lily waved and turned to continue on her way.

Eventually Tess stopped smiling, and she stood there and watched Lily as she went.

xxxx

As soon as Remus and Tess had gone home, Sirius shut the door to James’s room and turned to face him.

“What?” James said.

“You-Know-What. What’s going on between you and Red?”

“Red?”

“Yeah, Red.”

“Lily? You mean Lily?”

“Duh.”

James half-laughed and half-sighed. “Sirius, your jealousy is stupid!”

“No, I mean… do you fancy Red?”

“Can you stop calling her Red?” James asked. “Lily is her name.”

“Okay, fine. Do you fancy Evans?” Sirius reiterated. “You told me last summer that you didn’t fancy her anymore! All year long you said you fancied different girls, one of them being Sarah! The Sarah that is gaga over you!”

James knew it was time for him to come clean. For a year he had lied to Sirius, telling him he no longer fancied Lily and telling him he liked a number of different girls during the year instead. There was no use lying any longer.

“I lied. I said I didn’t fancy Lily when I still did,” James confessed. “I’m sorry, Sirius. I thought that if I pretended not to fancy her I’d actually stop fancying her.”

“And has it worked?” Sirius asked.

James didn’t answer straightaway. “That’s a complicated answer.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… no, it didn’t work,” James replied. “And yes, I don’t fancy Lily.”

Sirius looked completely confused. The sentence his friend had just uttered made no sense at all. He scratched his head and wondered if he had heard incorrectly.

“Say that again,” he requested.

“Pretending not to like Lily anymore didn’t work,” James said, looking out the window. “But I don’t fancy Lily any more.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

“This summer.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me you’re over Lily? For good?”

“We’re friends!” James exclaimed. “We’re best friends!”

“Hey!”

“Sirius, you can have more than one best friend,” James told him. He turned back to the window, his hazel eyes landing on the house that was Lily’s. “To fancy Lily feels like fancying you or Moony or Wormtail…”

“Ahhh,” Sirius said. Comprehension dawned on his face “So, that’s what’s happened. You don’t see Lily in that way anymore… she’s just a friend, not a girl.”

“No, no… Lily’s definitely still very much a girl.” He and Sirius exchanged grins. James continued. “And it’s not even just that. I don’t think a romance with Lily would be worth it,” James explained. “Think about it… we’re seventeen. Our relationship wouldn’t last more than just a few weeks, and then we would never be able to return to the way things are now. It would be ruined forever.”

“True,” Sirius agreed.

“It’s not worth it,” James said. “This summer has shown me that Lily’s more amazing than I thought. She’s perfect, but she’s my friend, and that means more to me than a few weeks of snogging… as enjoyable as that would be.”

“Aww… isn’t that profound and utterly stupid on your part? I don’t know a git stupid enough as you that would pass that up,” Sirius teased. He picked up one of James’s Quidditch action figures from the floor, and began playing with it. “Well?”

“Um, well what?”

“Who do you fancy now? Is it Sarah? Kady would be happy to fix you two on a-”

“No. I never fancied Sarah in the first place.”

“But you two went out for two weeks, you-”

“Broke up with her,” James finished for Sirius. “She can’t get a clue.”

“Okay, then who?”

James blushed faintly at the thought. “Padfoot, you know me… I’m not telling you, not now.”

“No! You can’t do that to me! Not right when it’s gotten juicy!” Sirius cried in protest. “You’re beginning to remind me of Remus more and more, Prongs. It’s a travesty!”

xxxx

“Our last day together,” James said sadly. He walked Lily down the front path of her house and up the porch steps.

“James, you act like I’m going away for a year. It’s a week,” Lily said, smiling. “It was a great day. Tell your mum and dad I appreciate the special dinner on my account.”

Laughing, James said, “they throw parties for everything. But they did go out of their way for you. They like you too much.”

“I guess that’s where you got your love for parties from.”

Over the days she had gotten better at hiding her nervousness and fighting away any blush tempted to color her cheeks. She didn’t know how it could any longer be obvious she fancied James, not when she thought she hid it pretty well.

“James,” Lily said, looking down at the porch floor. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Lily. I’ll call you on the… err, tele—phone.”

“We’ll see if you do.” Lily smirked.

“Listen, remember to… take care of yourself, Lily,” James warned. He was serious and Lily stopped smirking. “But have fun. Not too much or else you’ll never want to come back.”

“Fun with Petunia? I really, really doubt that,” Lily said. “Well, see you.”

“Yeah… bye.”

Lily rolled her eyes before she threw her arms around James. Slowly his arms came around her, completing the hug. She pulled back and nodded her head.

“For once I would like you to hug me first,” she told him teasingly. “Anywho, I should finish packing.”

James looked her in the eye, and for a second it seemed as if there was something else he itched to say. But he didn’t say it. Lily turned to the door and opened it. He exhaled a breath, turning away himself, about to leave.

“James,” Lily said abruptly. “Wait.”

James turned around, and Lily kissed him sweetly and softly on the mouth. Surprised, James hesitated and fought the temptation, but then gave in, returning the kiss, deepening it. Kissing Lily, James vaguely realized, was like coming home; she tasted like… like… forever.

The moment they pulled apart, Lily could see the sheer stun on James’s face. She smiled bashfully.

“James,” she said, “I really like you.”

A million emotions seemed to cross James’s face. He also seemed to be having much difficulty remembering how to speak.

“Lily,” he said quietly, at last. “Lily, we’re friends.”

For the rest of his life, until he died at the age of twenty, James would never find a decent word to explain the look on Lily’s face. But it was one that pained him by simply seeing it.

“Of course,” Lily said, giving off a small laugh as tears came to her eyes. “We’re friends… I’m sorry, James.”

“Can I explain?” James asked. “I don’t want you to think-”

“No, it’s all right. I’m really stupid.”

“Lily, I promised you we’d always be friends. Besides, we’re seventeen… think about it…”

“I have to go finish packing,” Lily said, obviously pained. “You shouldn’t bother to see me off tomorrow. Bye.”

She turned away from him and entered her house. He didn’t call after her; he only stood there in the middle of her porch and let her go, heaving a heavy sigh. When she disappeared inside without so much as a glance back at him, he wondered for the first time in their friendship, if it really were over after all.

xxxx

Kind of a cliffy, I know. But chapter eleven is coming tomorrow. So you should definitely review; I love reviews. And don’t kill James just yet!