They Say

Er, hi. I bet most of you are wondering where the next chapter of Diary is. It's mostly in outline format still. That story and I are at war, and I'm losing. Horribly. So here's a little something to tide you over. (If you follow my LiveJournal, you've probably already read this.) A not-too serious multi-chaptered piece. It's not terribly original in plot, but really I write this for the dialogue and the magical activities. Just a fun little ditty for me to keep the creative juices flowing.

Also, I have no claims on Harry Potter or anything affiliated with the brand.

They Say

Lily Evans had often heard the phrase Time Flies, and had, in fact, found herself to be subject to such a law of existence many a time in her relatively short life. Or rather, she thought she had until she truly discovered the meaning of the idiom her seventh year at Hogwarts. Head Girl duties, avoiding James Potter, studying for her NEWTs, avoiding James Potter, spending time with her friends, and avoiding James Potter all took up an immense amount of time. She staggered out of bed in the morning, forced herself to focus on which plant would devour her alive if she didn't follow procedure, mechanically dissected the obscure uses of moonstone, numbly trolled the corridors for rule-breaking students while simultaneously ignoring the antics of her patrol partner, and then promptly collapsed into bed, only to wake up and do it all over again.

It was, to say the least, thoroughly and completely exhausting.

If asked about it, which she wasn't, Lily Evans was prepared to answer that she had achieved everything she had set out to do at the beginning of her Hogwarts career. She excelled at her classes, she had no shortage of friends, and to top it all off, she was Head Girl. What more could a girl want?

Nothing, Lily would firmly tell herself whenever such a thought dared to cross her mind. Absolutely nothing.

And so when James Potter asked her what was wrong, she was almost unprepared.

Almost.

“Nothing,” she replied instantaneously, and went back to her Potions reading.

“No, something's… off,” he said, his elbow resting on his knee, his chin in hand.

The common room was, for once, nearly empty. Only a handful of students had elected to stay safely tucked away in the castle over the Christmas holidays, making Lily Evans and James Potter the only seventh-year representatives of their House. Lily was not entirely pleased with this arrangement, but there was next to nothing she could do, apart from setting up a restraining order, and she didn't even know if those existed in the wizarding world.

“It's only because you're here,” Lily said evenly without looking up.

“No, that's not it,” Potter said, a hint of curiosity in his voice, “otherwise you'd have been like this since… oh, fifth year.”

“Then it's truly a surprise I haven't lost my mind entirely.” Lily turned the page. “Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do.”

He snapped his fingers. “That's it!”

Lily sighed and dragged her eyes away from her text, unable to help herself from asking, “What's it? Have you miraculously diagnosed me with some terminal disease that can only be cured by a date with you? Because, quite frankly, I'm not in the mood for you tonight. Or ever.”

“No, no.” The candlelight glared in Potter's glasses as he shook his head. “I would make it a magical disease, if I did regress to such pathetic lines, and that's not what I meant at all.”

“Then pray tell, what did you mean?”

“I meant you keep working. I haven't seen you relax since the beginning of term. And you know what they say - all work and no play makes Lily a dull girl. Only I don't find you to be dull, merely stressed and irritable.”

“Thank you for that stunning compliment, Potter. Now that you've fulfilled my daily quota of being besmirched, I'll definitely date you.” Lily released a short breath and went back to her reading.

Potter sat up straight. “I mean it. When was the last time you had fun?”

“For your information,” Lily said matter-of-factly, squaring her shoulders, “I am having fun right now. And no, it is not because of your impeccable wit and so-called charm - it is because I love Potions. Something I would not expect you to understand.”

“School related fun is not nearly the same as inane, pointless fun.”

“And you'd be the expert there, having experienced all of the latter. This is why we don't get along, Potter. I enjoy learning, while you enjoy something as frivolous as flying.”

“They say opposites attract,” Potter said with that ever-present smirk. “And don't insult it till you've tried it.”

“Aren't you the clever one,” Lily remarked. “And if you're quite done, I'll thank you to go find something non-destructive to do.”

“Oh, I find this to be a productive pursuit,” he said calmly.

“What, annoying me?”

“No, trying to get you to relax. You didn't used to be this way.”

“Potter,” Lily sighed, “I am the same person I've always been. Or did the red hair not give it away?”

“Your hair is the same - shorter, of course - but I haven't seen you laugh in a while.”

“Glad to know you're stalking me,” she said, giving more thought to the restraining order idea.

“I'm speaking as an outside observer. You don't spend much time with Ophelia or Stephanie anymore, and I rarely see you with a book that would actually be of some interest to someone else.”

“Brilliant observation, Mr. Potter.” Lily shut her book, but left her thumb in to mark her page. “I'm a busy girl. Did you have a point to all this, or did you just want to prove that you need more hobbies other than following people around?”

“I did, actually.” Potter somehow managed to sound vaguely offended. “I wanted to make a deal with you.”

Lily let out a loud, throaty laugh. “Oh, that was a good one. See? Now you've made me laugh. Does this mean I can get back to work now?”

“I'm serious. I'm willing to negotiate.” What was most surprising to Lily was that there appeared to be no trace of amusement in his voice. Enough for her to stop laughing and give him a hard look.

“What kind of deal? The kind where I end up dating you through some clever ploy on your part, or the kind where I regret ever meeting you?”

“Can't it be both?” he asked, that familiar joviality returning to his face.

“I thought they said you weren't supposed to deal with the devil.”

“What do they know?” Potter arched an eyebrow and leaned back into the chair, his arms snaking out to settle comfortably on the armrests.

“Everything. Or so they say.” Lily released her entrapped finger and laid her book on her lap. “What would we be trading?”

“Nothing we haven't already traded in the past few minutes. Time and words, mostly. Some money might be involved, but nothing out of your price range, and nothing that would go into my pocket.”

Lily inclined her head briefly. “Generalities are fine to get someone's interest, but mine's already been piqued. I need more details.”

“As you wish.” Potter cleared his throat. “In exchange for some time on your part, I will help you have more fun. And the kind of fun you should have, not the kind you think you should.”

“Why do I have the feeling there's more than that?”

“Because there is. The only way I can insure that you're having a good time is to be there myself.”

“There it is.”

Potter held up his hand in a very business-like way. “Let me explain. I see the perfect opportunity. We have the Tower all but to ourselves for the next week, which means that no one else can interfere with this arrangement. And it has to be with me, not only for the reason stated above, but also because I am a master at having the most fun possible.”

“And I am obligated to… what, give you a date?” The entire idea was absurd. So why was Lily considering it?

“Not even remotely. Purely good will on my part to help out my fellow Head Girl. After all, she can't do her best if she's not in an excellent mental state.”

“So you're saying I've lost it?”

“No,” he said firmly. “I'm saying you need to lighten up. For everyone's sake. You gave someone detention last week for throwing a snowball.”

“Of course I did,” Lily replied indignantly. “It's not nice.”

“It was at his friend. Who had explicitly asked for it.”

“So? That doesn't mean he should.”

“See? The sign of someone who has gone too long without having fun.” Potter raised his chin slightly. “Thus, my proposal. Do you accept?”

Lily crossed her ankles and considered her options. She could turn him down with some sarcastic comment that made it clear she was not interested. Or she could accept. Which would be, she told herself, a phenomenally stupid thing to do, and she would no doubt regret it if she did agree. Which she wasn't going to do because Potter was insane for thinking she would agree. Because she most certainly was not going to agree to spend time with Potter.

Except it was her and him, more or less, for the next week, and even if she declined, he would hound her about it, just like he'd hounded her about a date for the past two years. And if she had to be around him, it might as well be under contract for him to not ask her out.

“How much time are we talking about?” she asked.

“A reasonable amount. However much I deem necessary to fulfill the terms.”

Lily pursed her lips. “And you won't ask me out? Even after this?”

He hesitated before answering, “No.”

“Hmm.” She tapped her fingers on her book.

“I'll also do your Head duties for a week,” he offered.

“No, I don't trust you to do them the way I would.”

“Another favor, perhaps?”

“A favor of my choice, to be specified at a later date.” Potter nodded, prompting Lily to give him a scrutinizing look. “Why are you so adamant about this?”

Potter shrugged. “Bored, I suppose. My friends are all gone, as you've noticed, and I need to keep busy. Otherwise I get into trouble,” he said with an all too innocent look.

A bored Potter was indeed troublesome. And there was just the smallest part of Lily's brain that, having been so long repressed in search of more realistic goals, was drawn to the idea of a week of entertainment, even if it was at the hands of someone such as James Potter.

What did she have to lose, other than her sanity, which was arguably already gone, seeing as she was even thinking about saying yes?

Besides, her mind added, if worst came to worst, she could always decide to end it.

“If,” Lily finally said, “you promise not to force me into anything, and promise to leave me alone if I so desire, then…” She took a deep breath. “Yes. I accept.”

A true smile broke out across his face, and he sat forward to extend his hand. “Fantastic. I look forward to working with you.”

Lily shook his hand. “Okay. We'll talk tomorrow, then?” She withdrew her hand to pick up her book once again.

“Oh, no,” he said, trying to dispel any confusion. “We're starting now.”

“We're what?” Lily asked dumbly.

“Now. Forget the book.” He moved to take her textbook, but Lily held fast. He sighed and explained, as if it were obvious, “It's the first night of the holidays. We need to celebrate.”

“But I want to read,” Lily protested, somewhat annoyed with herself for sounding so petulant.

“No, you don't. Now get your cloak. We've got somewhere to be,” Potter said, wrenching the book out of her hands and standing up.

“Where are we going?”

“The surprise is half the fun!” he said happily, then turned to head to his dorm, her book still in hand. “Hurry up, then.” With a smirk, he leapt up the stairs two at a time.

Lily, still in shock that she had ever agreed to this scheme, sat frozen for a moment before shrugging and standing up to go fetch her winter cloak.