Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. I like to think I own the plot.
Author's Note: Happy Christmas to everyone out there in fic land. Another holiday story. Will James ever get Lily under the mistletoe? :D Enjoy.
Under the Mistletoe…what James found there.
James Potter had it all planned. He had some mistletoe in his pocket and a beautiful girl waiting across the common room. For weeks he had planned to do this, do hold the piece of mistletoe over her lovely red head and wait for her to plant a kiss on him. It hadn't happened yet, because while on the surface James was the picture of confidence, on the inside he was a mass of insecurity - at least when it came to girls. A certain girl…
He watched her walk across the room. To the fire, back to her friend, once up the girls' stairs to retrieve a book. Remus had told him if he paid half as much attention in class as he did to Lily Evans he'd do tons better on exams. James didn't doubt that at all, but Professor McGonagall was not nearly as easy on the eyes as Evans was. He'd tried everything in his three years at Hogwarts to get Evans to like him, but nothing seemed to work. The girl was impossible, for not only did she resist the charms of James Potter, she also resisted Sirius Black, and not many girls could claim immunity to him.
"I don't know, mate," Sirius had said, "there's definitely something funny about that one." She had taken offense at both boy's attempts to woo her and they both felt the pain that was a slap from Lily Evans.
He'd hoped that Christmas would soften her heart a little and that maybe she would give him the time of day. The common room was almost empty. Those that left for the holidays weren't due back for a few days now. Christmas day had come and gone; small groups of those that stayed were playing with presents they had received. Indeed, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black could be found by the fire with a deck of Exploding Snap cards, trying their best to ignore the lovesick state of their friend.
James paced back and forth for a while. Then he tried to play a few games of Exploding Snap. He lost miserably to Remus, something that had never happened before. He got back on his feet and paced some more. Such an easy thing to do - walk up to a girl and hold a plant over her head. For some reason he was finding it impossible. A strange, twisted feeling was taking over his stomach. A feeling he hadn't had since his first quidditch match.
"Remus, he's turning green again," Sirius remarked as he charmed the cards into a pile.
"I noticed it a half hour ago. Do you think we should do something?"
"No, I think he should do something." Sirius got to his feet and joined James in pacing.
"I don't understand how this helps you, Prongs, it's just making me dizzy."
"Sirius, leave me be, please." James sat down on a worn sofa and ran his hand through his hair. Across the room, a girl noticed.
~*~
"He's doing it again, Lily," she told her friend, "putting his hand in his hair."
"So what does that make? The millionth time this morning?" Lily asked. They giggled
together for a few minutes. Lily's friend suddenly looked a little concerned.
"Do you think he looks a bit…green?"
"Maybe he's as sick of himself as everyone else is."
"I don't know why you treat him like that. He's only ever been nice to you. If I had James Potter asking me out every weekend, I certainly wouldn't be turning him down."
"I don't need James Potter," Lily said, "any more than you need Sirius Black."
"I'm not after either of them. I'm just saying I wouldn't turn James down. He's so handsome, Lily, and the star of the quidditch team, and his marks are really high…"
~*~
"I just don't understand why she keeps telling you no," Sirius remarked, not helping very much.
"She can't say no to this. What girl can resist mistletoe?" James asked his friends.
"Lily Evans," Sirius answered.
"Well if you're so sure," Remus said, "then why don't you get on with it."
"Yeah, I'm quite tired of going over the plan again and again. Just walk up to her, put the mistletoe over her head and give her kiss that will knock her off her feet."
"It isn't that simple, Sirius," James said, burying his face in his hands.
"Right," Remus agreed, "Miss Evans might not appreciate Mr. Potter's advances. I don't want to take James to the hospital wing today."
"Yeah, I don't think I could stand another no."
"Well, you'll never know what she's going to say until you ask her."
"But if I don't ask her, she can't tell me no."
"James," Sirius said, getting to his feet and stretching out his hands, "get up right now. Do not make me embarrass you."
"I'm not doing it. I've changed my mind."
"You know he isn't going to let this slide, James. You've been talking about this for the entire month of December. You made us sneak into the greenhouses to get the perfect piece of mistletoe," Remus said.
"I'm not doing it. You can't make me."
"Oh, I can't make you?" Sirius asked.
"You've done it now, James." Remus got up off the couch and walked to an armchair a few
feet away.
"Oi, Evans! James wants a word with you!"
~*~
"Lily! Sirius is calling you."
"I heard him and I'm ignoring him."
"But James wants to talk to you. Come on, it's Christmas. You should at least see what he wants."
"No, I know what he wants. He wants to say," Lily dropped her voice and began grunting out words, "'Oi, Evans, you look nice. Is that a new robe? You wanna go snog behind the broom shed? No? Well, you wanna go snog in the closet on the third floor?'"
Her friend laughed appreciatively and across the room James was both relieved and terrified.
~*~
"Is she coming?" James said. He was still sitting on the couch, carefully avoiding anyone's eyes.
"No," Remus whispered in reply. "She's, well, she's laughing."
"Laughing?" James asked, "laughing at what?"
"Three guesses," Sirius answered.
"I knew it was a bad idea. I'm going to kill you, Sirius. What are…where are you going?"
~*~
"Sirius is coming over here, Lily."
"Why can't they take a hint? I'm trying to do my homework. I don't want to be bothered."
"Looks like you're going to be interrupted."
"It never ends. Tell him to go away."
"Hi, Ev…Lily," Sirius said. Even he wasn't quite as sure of himself around her, which is was really odd, because he wasn't interested in the least. She stared him straight in the eyes.
"Go away, Black."
"Listen, Lily, James really wants to talk to you."
"I told you to go away. I don't want to talk to him."
"Look at him, Lily. You're driving him mad."
"I thought he was turning green," commented Lily's friend.
~*~
"Remus, what's going on over there?" Remus looked over the top of his book at the scene across the room.
"Sirius is talking to her…"
"And?"
"And she's talking back."
"What are they saying?"
"I can't read lips, James," Remus told him, going back to the text in his book. He was becoming quite bored of the whole thing. You would too if it happened every other week and it was really bad around holidays.
"Are they doing anything?"
"Why don't you look for yourself?"
Remus watched as James slowly turned around and chanced a glance at Lily and Sirius. They were just standing there chatting. Lily looked bored. Lily always looked bored. Slowly Sirius and Lily's friend dropped from the picture and James was only seeing Lily. Her long hair falling across her shoulders. They way she tossed it when she was particularly annoyed with someone. The way her lips curved into a smile…
~*~
"He wants to do what?!" Lily practically screamed.
"You heard what I said. He wants to kiss you under the mistletoe."
"Without my permission?"
"I don't know, maybe he was going to ask…"
"You tell him he can stay over there where he is and if him and his mistletoe come within five feet of me they're going to regret it."
"He'll be crushed, Lily. It's Christmas, give him a chance."
"Bla…Sirius, I'd love to, except that I wouldn't. I don't want to give him a chance. Just running up to a girl and kissing her is very rude."
"But look at the way he's staring at you."
"That's really rather creepy, you know. Maybe…"
~*~
"James, James…you've got to stop staring." Remus was snapping his fingers in James's ear. Drooling was not very becoming. James was startled for a moment, but then he realized where he was and looked back down at the carpet.
"How long was I staring?" he asked Remus.
"Oh, about seven minutes and thirteen seconds," Remus answered.
"She must think I'm a total idiot."
"If she thinks you're a total idiot, I promise it was long before you started staring at her eight minutes ago."
"You're a lot of help, Moony. You know that, don't you?"
"Well, I try. But seriously James, there is nothing for you to worry about. She's just a girl, and she either likes you or she doesn't. It's that simple."
"Remus, you've never felt this way before, have you? It's like the entire fate of the universe rests on whether or not I can get Lily Evans to go out with me."
"I don't suppose I know what that feels like, James," Remus said, and he turned to look at Sirius and Lily. "Nope, I don't suppose I can relate….Looks like Sirius is having a breakthrough with Lily."
"What, what's he doing?"
~*~
"If it's the only way to get you to talk to him, I guess I'll do it."
"Sirius, you guys love your little pranks. I figured you'd jump at the chance to play a joke on your best friend."
"I have to compliment you Evans. Under normal circumstances this would be a great idea, but the guy is sick with love. I'm warning you now, it's going to crush him and you are going to pick up the pieces."
"After some of the things you lot have done to me and my friends I haven't a single drop of sympathy for him. I don't think I need to remind you about my underpants." Sirius smiled at the memory. "Enough of that. Are you doing this or not?"
"It's going to embarrass him. He'll probably never speak to me again. It requires certain sacrifices on my part."
"So?"
"What am I getting in return?"
"What is this worth?"
"You have to go on a date with James. Next Hogsmeade weekend."
"You drive a hard bargain, Black. But I suppose the look on Potter's face will be worth that much."
"It was nice doing business with you, Evans. Shall we shake on it?"
"It wouldn't be a deal if we didn't."
~*~
"Why is he shaking her hand?"
"I don't think I want to know," Remus said.
"What kind of deal did he make with her? Are they coming over here?"
"You know what, James, I think they are." James and Remus got up from the couch to meet the approaching Lily and Sirius.
"You wanted to talk to me, Potter?" Lily asked.
"Uh…" he stammered. "Yeah." Sirius and Remus politely took a few steps back to give them some privacy. "I was…I wanted…if you wanted…" he looked nervously around at Remus who gave him a reassuring nod. James reached into his pocket and took out an abused piece of mistletoe.
"Mistletoe, Potter? Mistletoe is for Christmas. It's January third."
"Yeah," James said with a little more confidence, "but we're still on holiday. Surely you'' see that we're within the mistletoe time limit."
"What do you plan on doing with the mistletoe?"
"Well, I was going to do this." He held the plant over her head and leaned towards her for a kiss. She pushed him away.
"That's not very polite. Don't you think you should ask me first?"
"Just so you can say no?"
"And you're sure I'll say no?"
"You always do."
"Well, you did give me something for Christmas and I didn't get you anything in return."
"Yeah?"
"So maybe I'll let you kiss me."
"Are you serious?" For some reason Lily laughed at this, then she nodded her head. James threw himself at her out of instinct.
"No, sir, Mr. Potter. Close your eyes."
"Close my eyes? Why?"
"Do you want your kiss or not?"
"I'm not begging for it."
"Fine, I'll just go back to my homework…"
"Okay, I'll close my eyes."
"Wait, Sirius, come here and hold the mistletoe. If we're going to do this we're going to do this properly." Sirius avoided making eye contact with James. If James's brain had been working properly, had it not been so full of hormones, he would have seen this as a warning sign. Remus did notice, but he chose not to ruin whatever plans had been made.
He watched as Sirius held the mistletoe and as James closed his eyes.
"Okay, here goes nothing," James whispered to himself. He felt a hand in his and warm breath on his face. Breath that smelled of chocolate and peppermint. Another hand was on his neck, in his hair. Finally a pair of lips were on his. He couldn't resist. He had to see her beautiful face close up. He had to see the look of pleasure she would surely have while kissing him. He opened his eyes. Big mistake.
"Ahhhhh!" James screamed and backed away from what he thought was Lily Evans. It wasn't Lily Evans. Where he was expecting to see lovely green eyes, he saw deep blue eyes. Where he expected to see expected to see long auburn hair, he saw short black hair. Where he expected to see Lily Evans, he saw Sirius Black.
"What are you playing at?" Somewhere miles off he heard Lily howling with laughter. He saw Remus torn between emotions. Right in front of him was Sirius.
"I'm really sorry," he said.
"'Really sorry'? You kissed me!" James began wiping his tongue off on the palms of his hands.
"I didn't think it was that bad," Sirius said, trying to cheer up poor, traumatized James. In the meantime, Lily was still laughing her head off.
"Would you just stuff it, Evans!" James yelled at her, and he made to storm up the stairs.
"Remus, stop him," Sirius said. Remus grabbed James by the arm and swung him around to face the rest of the room. Sirius turned to Lily. "You're half of the bargain, Evans. Hold up your end of it or you'll regret it for the rest of your life," he whispered to her.
"What do you want. I have to go brush my teeth and rinse my mouth out with bleach," James said, tugging himself out of Remus' grip.
"Lily has something to ask you." James fixed her with a cold stare.
"What?" She had stopped laughing now, except for the occasional giggle.
"I was wondering," she began, "if you would like to go to the village with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend?"
"Oh yeah. I can see myself walking around with Sirius in a dress. No way."
"I'm being sincere, Pott…James. Really, I'd like to go with you."
"Prove it," James said. "Come and kiss me." She raised an eyebrow, but crossed the room and did as he requested. His knees almost gave out. It was better than he expected, especially since it was her and not Sirius. He'd have to fight down those nightmares forever.
"So, is it a date?"
"Sure," he answered.
She walked off and joined her friend. They began to howl with laughter again. James walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it. Seconds later he was joined by Sirius and Remus.
"Happy Christmas, James," Sirius said and he draped his arm over James's shoulder.
Even though he never thought he'd be kissing his best friend, James was quite glad it happened. Sure he had to endure every male student in the school shouting "now give us a kiss" or "care for a snog?" at him as he walked down the corridors. And Severus Snape telling everyone that Sirius and James were something of an item (apparently Snivellus had known all along). But all that seemed worth it to James after that day in Hogsmeade. He'd never been so sure about anything before in his life. He was going to marry Lily Evans, all thanks to Sirius.
It was the best Christmas present he'd ever gotten.