Long Road Towards Maturity

***

“Green eyes” Hermione whispered, one tear rolling almost unnoticed from her cheek. Furiously she wiped it away, and spat at the painting: “Virginia Malfoy” as her new password.

***

While Ron was trying to digest this new information, he almost missed following her in before the portrait snapped shut. No, it couldn’t be, could it? His sister was not dating Malfoy was she? Shivers ran along his spine: no it was probably Hermione’s reaction to Ginny’s biting words, right?

Then something else occurred to him: green eyes... His mind jumping to conclusions had often gotten him into trouble, especially with Hermione, but really, who else could it be? Without thinking he blurted out:

“You’re sweet on Harry?”

Hermione had been dumping all her books on her desk and now jumped almost a foot into the air, sweeping all the contents from it and extending her wand in his general direction, yelling:

“Expelliare!”

In her hysteria, Hermione Granger had mispronounced a spell, and in any other situation Ron would’ve been very glad to point this out to her. However he was so busy mentally berating himself for opening his big mouth, that he didn’t notice Hermione squinting in his direction and frantically muttering the revealing charm.

“Ron!”

Hermione was like the proverbial deer caught in headlights (Ron had especially looked up some Muggle sayings up, so he knew he was using it the right way). But he was a kind of one-trail-thought-man.

“You’re sweet on Harry!” Ron repeated.

Hermione, instead of blushing like he’d expect a normal person too, paled and tried to look disapproving:

“I am most certainly not sweet on Harry...” Her voice cracking almost imperceptibly, and one of her upper eyelids had trouble staying fully open.

But in the mean time Ron was doing some thinking of his own: some things started to click inside his mind. It made perfect sense: she had to fancy Harry!

But being who he was, he couldn’t keep the next question in: “Why? Why him and not me? Why couldn’t you...?”

“Get out” Hermione spoke; she didn’t scream, she was still standing there trembling, looking sickly with her pale face and reddening nose. Ron was looking at her, almost amazed.

She avoided his accusing gaze and saw the pile of chaos next to her desk. Without acknowledging him anymore, she sank to her knees and started piling up the books and notes. She looked robotic in her actions, and her breathing sounded forced. Her hands were still trembling, and despite the anger and disappointment Ron felt, he couldn’t convince himself that she deserved the emotional pain, how ever much he tried.

Standing there looking at her bowed head and slumped shoulders, he couldn’t help but feel sorry, even if he wasn’t really the one who caused this. He carefully stepped closer to Hermione. She seemed to stiffen up. He stopped and bent down to help her with the mess.

The silence was loaded and Hermione started sniffling. Ron was praying to all gods he ever heard of, she wouldn’t start sobbing on him. He saw her take out a tissue and blow her nose.

Finally she lifted her head, and looked back; she wasn’t crying per se, but her eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and her nose had definitely been running: she looked miserable.

“I’m sorry, Ron... I don’t know where everyone gets that silly idea that I’m pining after Harry, I don’t pine! But... This is kind of awkward because you never really said anything about it before, but... I don’t want to hurt you, but... I see you as a friend, I... don’t have any other kind of feelings for you”

Hermione seemed at loss for words, and was awaiting something. Oh, yes, she was probably just waiting for him to blow up at her. Funny, but he didn’t feel like loosing his temper; that must have been a first. Amazed at himself he was staring at Hermione’s still not so healthy looking face showing apprehension and something else. Was it tiredness? Or maybe relief at finally having said this?

Whatever made him do it, he would never be able to tell. But he burst out in laughter. There he was, laughing at a dumbfounded Hermione, who was standing there looking more vulnerable then he’d ever seen her. When she managed to collect enough anger inside of her, she pointed a finger towards the entrance shrieking:

“Get out, you, insufferable wart!” When he didn’t move she stomped up to him and she tried pushing his much stronger body towards the exit, he was merely chuckling anymore, watching the pink spots high on her cheeks that always appeared when she got particularly angry, “You insensitive... animal! Would you get out already!”

Ron felt much better after having that laugh. He still didn’t really understand how he didn’t feel more anger toward Hermione or jealousy toward Harry, but for right now it didn’t matter. So he would have to change the prospects of his future: it suddenly didn’t seem quite the end of the world as Hermione’s unexplainable reaction was. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one to dramatise everything in the trio? Well, except for exams, homework and revising, of course...

He gripped the witch’s wrists since she had started to pound on his chest when she saw he wouldn’t move. He grinned at her tired and flushed face.

“You know, you almost always seem to forget you’re a witch in these moments. If you wanted to get rid of me, you should’ve banished me”

Looking sheepish for a minute, Hermione tried to free her hands to do just as he suggested. Glaring at him she said:

“Let go of me, Ron Weasley, or I’ll hex you so you won’t be able to sit properly for a week”

“Ah, there’s the Hermione we all know and find annoying!”

Hermione didn’t seem to find this amusing in the least. She just burst into tears. Ron cursed his big mouth for the thousandth time in his life. Hermione tried to move away from him and hide her tears, but by some miracle he had the sense to give her a supporting hug, well he thought it was a supporting hug, anyway...

First she seemed to want to break free from it, but eventually she let him try and calm her. If Ron had worried about standing there long, he needn’t have. He ought to know Hermione wasn’t the sort of girl who’d indulge in long bouts of sobbing when people were around to witness it. Soon her breathing became more regular, and she looked up at him.

He looked into those desperate eyes and couldn’t resist, despite the mess she was, with tears everywhere and her hair somehow more frizzy then ever, he lowered his lips to hers. He just had to know that feeling of kissing Hermione... It was wet, mostly, but she didn’t push him away, so that should be a good sign wouldn’t it? Ron was waiting for the big moment when he’d feel all the snitches go off inside his chest like Bill had told him once, but it never came. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t quite what he’d expected either.

Bewildered he drew back and looked at her. Hermione looked at him like he’d grown another head, but when she saw his confusion her expression mellowed. Ron asked:

“What just happened?”

Hermione frowned, and Ron supposed she had every right to, since it was probably she who should’ve asked that.

“You kissed me”

“Am I a bad kisser?”

Carefully Hermione shook her head, obviously not really knowing where this would lead, but not about to lie to her best friend...

“Then why was it not good?”

Hermione cocked her head to the side, looking at him with a little of understanding in her eyes. Ron actually felt relieved this happened with Hermione, since she knew him, and she understood somehow what he meant by his question.

“Because we aren’t in love?”

She’s asking him? How the hell should he know?

“But, how come? I mean we kind of like each other, no? We’re best friends! And we have passion! We banter all the time! And...”

Ron trailed his sentence off when he saw Hermione shake her head.

“Ron, I do love you, but I’m not in love with you... and as for passion; passion should be invigorating. We quarrel all the time; and to be quite honest, it’s more exhausting then anything else”

Ron was not ready to give up: “But that could change, couldn’t it? We could stop fighting, and learn to get along better, and then we could fall in love!”

Hermione smiled sadly: “Ron, that would mean we’d both have to change so much, we wouldn’t be ourselves anymore! You’d want me to take more time off for Merlin knows what mischief, and I’d want you to be more serious and supporting. You can’t base a relationship on something that isn’t real, can you?”

“You’re just the regular know-it-all, aren’t you?”

“No, Ron, I’m far from knowing it all. And don’t look at me like that, I’ll deny I ever said this!” Stepping out of his embrace, she brushed her cloak for wrinkles, “It took me long enough to realise this whole thing, and I was so sure I was going to loose you as a friend if you ever found out I didn’t return your feelings...”

His feelings... disappointment flooded him again, but no anger accompanied it this time, just a dull sadness. But something else occurred to him suddenly.

“Hey! Wait a minute! Ginny isn’t dating Malfoy is she?”

Hermione frowned: “Why would you think that?”

“Well, I heard your new password, and I don’t like the way she keeps defending him...”

Hermione rolled her eyes: “Ron... She doesn’t defend him, she just wanted you to stop bickering this summer like you were two little boys proving you were the most immature men ever to walk on the face of earth. And for the password: we had a... discussion earlier and some harsh things were said, and I just took it out on her by naming her Malfoy since her remarks reminded me of him. I’ll change it first thing”

Ron didn’t notice she hadn’t confirmed nor denied if they were dating or not. He was distracted by the sad look that had come back in her eyes. He wanted to know what had been the deal with Harry. It was kind of obvious to him now, that she did want him to be more than just her best friend. But he didn’t want to discuss this with her right now.

“So I guess I should be going now?”

Hermione seemed quite relieved that he didn’t ask any further. Quietly she walked him to the portrait. Hearing the painting snap shut behind him, Ron’s thoughts went back to Harry. Did that bloke know how lucky he was? Ron couldn’t for the life of him remember a time when Harry had shown anything besides deep friendship and caring for Hermione. Actually, now that he thought about it, he’d been quite distant towards her after the defeat of Voldemort.

The few times they had been allowed to visit him during the summer, Harry had acted very companionable with him. But really, they had been like two best mates with the tag-along Hermione. In the past, that feeling if imbalance in the trio had come from him, and Harry had silently went along with it, while Hermione didn’t care all that much since she had her books anyway.

But this summer it had been definitely coming from Harry, and Ron of course hadn’t noticed then, and probably it had hurt Hermione more then he’d ever understand.

Ron’s head hurt from all this thinking; he would definitely try to have a word with Harry tomorrow. The git would be transferred in the morning, so hopefully he’d find alone time with his best mate by the end of the day...

But for now, he had some unfinished business with a certain female Weasley.

***

please review