The Flu: Love, Lily
"You do believe me when I say I'm sorry, right? Lily?" The curly blonde at the end of Lily's bed was pleading and James couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Then again, Jenna Heartily had a way to manipulate people. But largely to get dates, so unless Jenna wanted to go out with Lily, James believed she really was sorry.
"Of course I do! Jen, you don't need to apologize over and over! I forgive you… I needn't to either, because it was an accident!" Lily told her exasperatedly. James grinned. Something told him that Jenna's persistent apologizing was aggravating her more than the illness did. The same persistent apologizing was also what made him suspicious if it was an accident. Well, falling into the lake might have been, but… why would Jenna push Lily into the lake anyway? Jenna respected Lily. Lily was… Lily was kind, forgiving, beautiful and… and…
Lily coughed, leaving his thoughts unfinished. James shook his head. He tried to not think of her more than a friend but-oh! Why was this happening to him? She was his friend. That was all. Nothing more. He didn't want to be more… didn't he? No!
"James?" Lily asked. He was standing in the doorway of the infirmary and currently banging his head lightly on the frame. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he replied in a high voice. "Er… fine! Excuse me, I have to go…"
Lily blinked as he left. What was that about? She turned back to Jenna who was smiling happily. "What?"
"Nothing," the other girl replied. "Oh yeah! Here!" She pulled out a parchment from her pack. "I listed the homework you needed. I got Leah to ask some people in your other classes but then I had to do it myself when she had to go somewhere. So, when do you think Madam Pomfrey will get more supplies for the Pepper-up potion?"
"I don't know. Where'd all the ingredients go anyway?" Lily shrugged. She figured that Marauders probably took them, for something or other; a prank perhaps. Who knew? They wouldn't tell her, that was for sure.
"So… get better! We miss you in the dormitories. It's lonely without someone too break up the fighting between me and Elizabeth."
"What about Leah?"
"She's too frank about it. She doesn't bother soothing feelings. She's just… too direct about it. Liza's sour all the time's 'cause of her and you know what that leads to."
"Ah," Lily nodded. "I just found out what trait you two share. You're both reserved and emotional. Strange combination." She smiled. Those two, if one didn't know them very well, they'd think they were opposites but in fact, they were similar, in some aspects, at least.
"Yeah… well, she's still my cousin. And she's awfully bossy to me. I'll see you later," Jenna waved goodbye and left. Leaving Lily with her thoughts. Now… why had James run off like that? Frowning, she asked Madam Pomfrey for a spare inkwell, if she had one, because she remembered that she was out.
"I should buy a new one next Hogsmeade visit," she muttered as she took out a parchment and quill then started to write.
---
"Hey! How's Lil?" Sirius asked James as he entered the Gryffindor common room. James looked down, not saying a word, his mind fogged with his own thoughts. "Oi! Padfoot to Prongs! I'm talking to you here!"
James finally snapped out of his stupor "Huh? Oh yeah… what's your question?"
Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Jamsie, Jamsie… you've been visiting Lily everyday since she caught that darn flu! Don't think we haven't noticed the way you stare at her! The only one oblivious, other than you, is her."
"W-what?" The other boy stuttered. "I haven't been staring at Lily! I haven't changed anyway I've looked at her!"
But the boy wouldn't relent and put his arm around his best friend, and asked condescendingly, "Then why, old friend, are you being so defensive?"
James didn't answer, he hung is head in defeat and sighed heavily. "Okay, fine. So, I'm feeling things for her. But why? I shouldn't be! She's my friend."
"Okay, how about you lie down on the couch while I psychoanalyze you?" And to both their surprise, James actually complied. "Okay, you really must be troubled… but you shouldn't be. Lots of relationships sprouted from friendship."
Feeling uncomfortable James tried to change the subject, "Are you sure nobody's just going to waltz in here? Like oh, I don't know-" Just as he was contemplating on who he should use as an example, Peter had entered with a raised eyebrow.
He asked suspiciously, "What are you two doing?"
"Psychoanalyzing Prongs!"
"Why?"
"He's got 'feelings' for Lily!"
"Really?"
"Really!"
"When you're done gossiping like girls!" James shouted, breaking the two's excitement.
Sirius shrugged, caring much less than James would've liked. "Oh, you're a spoilsport, Prongs. Relax. It's not like it was any of the girls especially not-"
"Especially not who?" The boys turned to face two girls, one a tall raven-haired girl who always seemed to be glaring and the other was shorter than even Peter with long light brown hair and big eyes. It was the raven-haired one that spoke: Elizabeth Loraine. She wasn't looking very happy; though she never did anyway. The other girl, Leah Tenshi, had a worried look on her face.
Sirius groaned. Great. Of all people. Them. At least-
"Hey! What's going on? Having a congregation or something?" All of them looked to see Jenna entering the doorway. James shook his head. Jenna sounded so airy sometimes, one (namely Sirius) expected her to be blowing bubble gum and twirling with her hair. Sirius did once tell him, "That girl is just so… ditzy." Well, at least they provided him a little distraction.
"Where have you been?" Leah asked, her eyebrows narrowing.
Jenna waved a hand dismissively, "No where."
Elizabeth took a chance to make an insult, "Well, what do you expect from such a thick prat like you?"
"Oh, sod off Liza! You conceited little ignoramus!"
The boys looked back and forth as they bantered on. Leah seemed to grow angrier with each insult they hurled at each other. She snapped, "QUIET!" It was the loudest they've ever heard her but the girls didn't seem too surprised. "Lily's the peacekeeper not me…" she muttered bitterly and glared at her roommates. "You two stop it. Go. I mean it." And the two did, Elizabeth headed towards their dormitory while Jenna strode back out the portrait hole. Leah sighed, took a deep breath, and fell in a chair.
"Okaay then," Sirius blinked. "Now…" he turned back to where supposedly James was but found an empty seat. "Hey! Potter you come back here! Where are you?"
"He went that way," Leah pointed to the staircase leading to the boy's dormitory. Sirius and Peter thanked her and rushed to their room. James was lying face down on his bed, his head face flat on his pillow.
"Now… let's get back to Lily," Sirius said in an unusually calm voice, procuring a pair of James' old glasses. He ignored his best friend's muffled 'no' and went on, conjuring a clipboard with some parchment. "When did you start these 'feelings'?"
James sat up and frowned at him. "I don't know," was his simple answer. "I just don't know." He shook his head. "Padfoot, you aren't helping."
Sirius sighed and decided it was time to be serious, for once. "Then what's wrong? Be honest, if you like Lily… Why don't you tell her?"
"I'm afraid," James admitted. "Because… I don't just like her. I think it might be more than that and… I don't know if she even likes me that way! And if she does, I don't know if I'm ready to… to make a commitment like that."
"A commitment?" Sirius asked incredulously. "What do you mean a commitment? You don't mean-," then realization dawned on him. "But-but we're barely fifteen years old! You can't be thinking of marriage right now!"
"Marriage?" Peter piped up in disbelief, "You want to marry her?"
"Shut it Wormtail. Oh, I knew guys would be like this!" James snapped angrily. "I never said I wanted to marry her… but honestly… if we start going out, I think I'd want to, and that's why I'm scared!" He sighed, most of the burden being lifted from his heart.
"Why?" Sirius further inquired. "So you're afraid if you start going out with her you'll want to marry her?"
A new voice entered the dormitory, "Marry who?" It was Remus. "Leah was downstairs looking awfully frustrated, she said you guys were up here. What happened?"
"James fancies Lily," Peter explained briefly.
"And he's scared of 'commitment' he thinks he'll want if he goes out with her. And by commitment, I mean 'marriage'," Sirius added, quoting 'commitment' and 'marriage' with his fingers. James rolled his eyes and glared at them. "Quit pouting Prongs! It's unbecoming! And he also thinks is inappropriate to like Lily 'cause she's our friend. "
"Oh… is that all?" Remus shrugged. "So Prongs is afraid of being in love?" James' head snapped up. "… And you didn't even notice it until recently, I'm guessing?"
"Hey Moony," James greeted in a bitter voice, "Don't you be analytical about my love life too."
"I'm just telling you've got either no reason or all reason to be afraid. Because, sooner or later, Lily's bound to finally become aware of your strange behavior around her, if she hasn't already. That may or may not be a good thing."
"Do you have to be so reasonable? And what do you mean, 'may or may not be a good thing'?" James frowned, not liking the sound of it.
"Well… to be frank about it, either she accepts or rejects you. So stop fretting. Either way… it's her decision. Unless you have some way to romance her?" The silence he received was answer enough. "Then, good luck mate." He picked up a parchment from his bedside (which was why he came in the first place) and started to head back downstairs when James stopped him.
"Wait… Remus, I got a question."
Remus stopped but was hesitant. "Well, James, I'm not an expert when it comes to relationships or anything. I don't-"
"Well, you were looking at it logically, I just need a little logic."
Remus sighed, "Well. To tell you the truth, I've heard there's no logic in love. I'm really not the one you should be asking-" James reassured him that he didn't care and it would be out of this uncomfortable situation if he just spilled. "Okay, okay. I'll tell you what I got out of my sister's insane ramblings: love is pretty much irrational. And, you don't know why you feel like you do, but you do. Your blind to what everyone else sees and chances are, if she doesn't notice, she's probably got the same thing."
"You… think so?" James asked his voice suddenly higher.
"Well, you never know. It's Lily. She's reserved, you never know with some of them. And she's also observant; she's going to know, sooner or later. I don't know what you should do. I've-I-er…"
"It's okay Moony, we know you don't like talking about this stuff," Sirius nodded sympathetic.
Remus nodded, giving a relieved sigh. "Uh-huh… I'll… see you later…" He slowly made his way downstairs, still uneasy.
"Okay, he was so freaked out, wasn't he?" Sirius sniggered. Peter smiled slightly while James rolled his eyes.
James shrugged, "Oh Rem's just shy, especially about personal things like that. We'd probably be too, if we had Moony's problems."
"Stop it," Sirius glared at him, folding his arms, looking very severe. "You're sounding so sensible… I don't like it."
Peter burst out laughing. James rolled his eyes again. "Padfoot?"
"Yes?"
"Shut it."
"You first mate."
---
Look! I let Potter and Heartily in already, what makes you think I'll let you bunch in?"
"Well, we're only three people, we're not large enough to be a bunch. Just be glad we didn't ask Jenna to come with us."
Madam Pomfrey muttered something inaudible and let them in. Lily was certainly surprised to see them.
"Mundungus! Sarah! Remus! What are you guys doing here?" She asked, in curiosity. Mundungus Fletcher and Sarah Mirand were the other Gryffindor in their year, and part, along with Lily, of a new book club started by some Ravenclaw, Arabella-something. They were recently reading Muggle-fiction and their current book was A Princess Bride by S. Morgensten, both original and the abridged version, for comparison.
She looked at Remus, he wasn't in the club. "Well, we figured we could have a private meeting of our book club, you know, just to catch you up," Sarah explained. "Remus… er… he-"
"-wanted to talk to you about something," Remus finished for her. Lily nodded and turned to Mundungus
"Sarah begged me to come, since I was the only Gryffindor in our year in the club," Mundungus shrugged.
"But… I don't have my books," Lily said quietly, biting her lip. She didn't want them to do this for them for nothing.
"I'll get them for you! Where are they?" Sarah jumped up. She always wanted to please people. Lily told her it was at her bedside drawer and before Lily could add a word, she was out the door.
She sighed, not up to go after her. She whimpered slightly and sneezed. "Ohh…"
"What?" Remus asked, sensing something wrong.
"Nothing, really. I just… wanted to give this to er…" She blushed and both boys finally noticed she was tightly clutching an envelope on her lap. She was holding so tight, he letter was becoming quite wrinkly
"Mundungus will take it to him," Remus answered but the other boy looked as if he had no clue what was going on.
"I never agreed to-" then Remus stepped on his foot and Lily had this puppy-eyed grateful look that he couldn't say no. "Okay. But to who?"
"He'll know," Lily answered cheeks still pink. Mundungus shrugged and started towards the Common Room, leaving his own books behind.
"Lily, that was for James, wasn't it?" Remus asked, eyebrow raised. Lily nodded shyly. To her surprise the boy only grinned. "Thought so."
"You-you did? W-why would you think that?"
Remus shrugged, "Can't say but why'd don't you just talk to him, face to face?"
"Yeah, well… I'm not sure how I feel. It's… weird. I've never been-I mean, I didn't think I'd feel this way about… er… um…"
"You've got nothing to worry about. My sister told me one day that nice girls usually don't know. They go on brooding about it. I just said that girls were crazy."
"Me? Crazy?" Lily teased.
"But you're not just a girl. You're my friend. My friends are both crazy but also the best things that have ever happened to me," Remus smiled.
"Oh Rem…" She hugged him, unnerving him again. She let him go soon and sneezed. "Sorry! I'm just a little upset… I think he likes me but I don't… I…maybe… but"
"Stop fretting. Do you like him or not? Just yes or no?"
Lily blushed, "Yes."
---
"Hey! I got a letter from Lily," Mundungus announced as he entered the boys' dormitories. He stopped at the door, meeting an odd sight. James was lying face down, muttering muffled obscenities into his pillow. Sirius, sitting nearby, was rolling his eyes, popping Bertie Bott's Beans into his mouth, completely serene, while Peter sat at a desk, looking back and forth between them, an amused look on his face. But when Mundungus' message sank in, they all looked up, James bolting out of the bed.
"Give me that!" he demanded, snatching the envelope and offending his roommate. James barely uttered an apology when he ripped open the envelope and closed the curtains of his four-poster. Taking out his wand from his pockets, he muttered "Lumos!" and started to read her letter.
"Dear James,
Hi, it's me. Well, I don't really know what's going on. You've been acting a little strange recently. I noticed it a few days ago, before my little incident. I was in the library. I was checking out my book on Muggle Fairy Tales, for reference to an essay I'm making for the book club (oh dear, we still need a name…) and when I took out a book, I saw you through the empty space. There was a girl that came up to you. She started to talk to you, clearly flirting, and even though you didn't even seem to notice or care, I felt this odd emotion, then I decided I wanted to ask you something, not even sure what. Still not sure now...
When I came up to you, that girl just gave me an evil look. I didn't understand why. You just turned red and before I could ask you anything, you made an excuse to leave, you had done that about five times that day. Then you did it again when you were visiting me today. I thought we were back to normal, when you first visited me the other day. It was a few months ago when we were that friendly with each other. And I felt content, just us, together as friends. I didn't want to ruin that but then I…
I did some thinking today. I came to the conclusion that you might, possibly, fancy me. I was completely flattered, don't be offended. Then I tried to think about what I've been feeling. At the library… I was… jealous. I think that… I might fancy you too. Perhaps maybe more than fancy you? I don't know. I'm confused. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It snuck up on me by surprise. What's it?"
There was a word that was heavily blotted out but there was a deep crease in the parchment that looked like an "I" or an "L". She ended with:
"We need to sort this out.
Love, Lily"
A smile spread across his face and it seemed some weight on his shoulders was lifted and he rushed out of the dormitory, quickly explaining to his friends he needed to talk to her, and ran through the common room, hurriedly walked to the infirmary in a fast pace. He found Remus coming out; his face was filled with perplexity when Remus patted his shoulder. But all puzzlement went away when his friend whispered, "Good luck…"
James sighed, having a second's worth of doubt of this decision, then turned the knob. Lily smiled at him, hugging a pillow, looking healthier and prettier than ever.
"Hi."
"Hey."
End.
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