The End

1. The truth



Disclaimer: HP characters obviously aren’t mine, they belong to our Godess JK Rowling… Neither is the song, I don’t know who it belongs to, but it’s sung by Marco Borsato: De Waarheid

So this is my first attempt at a song-fic, and I know it isn’t custom but I picked a Dutch song. Don’t worry, though, the translation is right beside every line! I love the song very much, have for a long time, even if the lyrics aren’t that… optimistic. It’s actually a song that probably doesn’t quite have the dramatic meaning I’m going to give it, but, well… you’ll see… you judge!

***

de waarheid (the truth)

Harry breathed in the cool morning air. Tonight he was going to die…

Shaking his head, he tried to keep at bay the guilt. Actually, it struck him as strange that the feeling of guilt had to be the strongest. Harry shrugged mentally, worry would make it’s appearance soon enough, it was only morning after all…

Thinking about the time, Harry tried to keep from counting down. Tonight would be Halloween, and destiny would be knocking on his door, just like it had burst into his parents’ house sixteen years ago…

Regret settled when he thought about what could’ve been, but those thoughts were soon clouded by the all-consuming guilt… He should’ve told her, he owed her that much… The truth…

His seventh year: it had been 16 months now, since he had known about the Prophecy. 15 months since he had been let in to all the Order secrets. He never told his best friends about any of those things. Harry told himself it was for their own protection, for his own protection. They would want to be let in on everything: Ron mostly out of jealousy and thirst for adventure, Hermione out of curiosity and sheer need to help.

But he didn’t tell them anything. He had taken a solemn vow to preserve the Order secrets, after all, and what good would it do to let his friends know his true destiny? They would only end up worrying about the inevitable.

But in all reality, those were just excuses. The lies were out of selfishness. Ron and Hermione didn’t know how bad things actually were. They only knew what had been printed in the Daily Prophet, which was bad enough as it was… But they didn’t know that this night… It would all come down to him and Voldemort.

Harry wasn’t prepared, despite all the additional duelling lessons. What could a seventh year do against a powerful Dark Lord? Throw a Tickling Charm and hope he’d choke on his laughter? There was only one spell, one chance to spare the rest of the world… A spell that would most certainly cost him his life…

Harry didn’t want his friends to know, because he wanted to pass the little time left in relative happiness… With all the lies surrounding him, he didn’t know anymore if even that was a lie. Was he lying to himself now? Were they happy? Was Hermione happy?

Ik denk aan wat je voelt I think about what you’re feeling

Ik denk aan hoe je lacht I think about how you’re smiling

Ik denk aan al die liefde I think of all the love

Die jij aan me hebt gegeven That you have given me

En wat jij verwacht And what you’re expecting

Aan wat je van me denkt What you’re thinking of me

En hoe je voor me leeft And how you’re living for me

What scared him the most, was his fear… Like good old Lupin had told him years ago: his greatest fear was fear itself. Harry Potter, afraid? Perish the thought! But he knew that the moment he would allow himself to think about the future, about what would happen to the ones he loved if he failed… to her…

Fear was paralysing, but Harry had tried to tell himself time and again, that the only failure he could be responsible for, was not taking him out in the process… That had become his only goal now. His life didn’t mean anything anymore, Harry had long since today accepted that fact. All he could hope for was eliminating that thing before he actually died… Hope…

It had been an emotion he’d associated with Hermione’s eyes… He knew she loved him, she believed in him, she trusted him with everything…

Ik ontwijk je ogen I avoid your eyes

Als ze mij willen doorgronden When they want to read me

Telkens als ze naar me kijken Every time they’re locked onto me

Zorg ik dat ik ze net mis I’m careful to look away just in time

Als je voor me staat When you’re before me

Vlucht ik steeds weer in je armen I always escape in your arms

Zodat ik niet kan verraden That way I can’t betray

Wat de waarheid is What the truth is

Harry knew he should’ve left it alone… After the fiasco of Ron confessing his feelings for Hermione, she had finally ran to him… It had been more then a year now, and when things had settled between his two best friends, another confession had surfaced… Hermione loved him…

Harry had never thought about Hermione differently then as a best friend before that, honestly. Of course he’d noticed she was quite pretty, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still the brain of the trio. The girl who’d rather sit in the library then watch a Quidditch game, but attended the sport anyway because her best friends were playing.

Harry hadn’t been able to deny then, what he had somehow been oblivious to all these years before… Hermione cared deeply for him, and he meant everything to her. Her books, her studies, achievement, knowledge… those were important to her still, but in the course of the years, everything, even that had ended up revolving around him.

She had confessed her love one night to him, months ago, and he had never felt that loved before. Delirious on the feeling, he hadn’t want it to ever end. Harry knew it weren’t empty words coming from her, and he’d been flattered, too. Hermione, the most intelligent witch he’d ever met, loved him. He was her everything, and since he knew, since it had downed on him, since he’d ‘seen the light’… he couldn’t let her go…

Hermione had never told him that much in detail, but he saw it in her eyes, he heard it when she told him she loved him. Or worse, when she told him she’d never felt safer then in his arms… He felt it when they were together. She loved him, and he let her. He allowed her to love him, he had started to crave for it. And in the end, he would only cause the destruction of that love. He took, without giving enough in return; he could give her a future, but not one with him…

He had become addicted to her love. Despite the guilt…

Elke dag vertel je mij Every day you tell me

Hoeveel je van me houdt How much you love me

Hoe fijn je leeft in zekerheid How you’re happily living in security

Hoe jij op mij vertrouwt How you trust in me

Tonight he was going to break her heart… One way or the other. He wanted to tell her, before... But he didn’t want her to know…

How do you tell someone… How do you make someone understand, that you’re going to take their world away? That you’re going to rip their heart apart. That their going to lose the person that means most to them?

How was he supposed to make Hermione understand, that he had allowed her to love him, only for her to lose him? How was he supposed to make her understand that he had accepted her very soul, and that in exchange of that, he couldn’t give her his, since his soul didn’t belong to him in the first place.

And how was he supposed to let her forgive him, with the knowledge that he could’ve stopped all that pain from happening? How was he to explain to her, what the price was for loving him?

Hoe vertel je iemand How do you tell someone

Dat de aarde niet meer rond is? That the earth doesn’t go round anymore?

Dat de vogels niet meer vliegen? That birds stopped flying?

En de zon niet langer schijnt And the sun doesn’t shine any longer

Hoe vertel ik jou How do I tell you

Dat 't leven dat je leefde That the life you’ve been living

En de liefde die je voelde And the love you’ve been feeling

Binnenkort verdwijnt Will soon disappear

Je raakt me kwijt You’re losing me

How was he supposed to say he was sorry, when he couldn’t regret loving her?

Je raakt me kwijt You’re losing me

't Is de waarheid It’s the truth

***

Ok, PLEASE review? I need to know if this was any good?



Text from the Wayback Machine's capture of the site, 29 July 2009.

Report a problem with this chapter

Reading options

Font
Text size
Line spacing
Alignment
Column width