The End

Disclaimer: HP characters obviously aren’t mine, they belong to our Goddess JK Rowling… As for the plot of this story, what Hermione is about to do… I got that idea from a trilogy I once read, written by Juliet Marillier… It’s from the second book, Son of the Shadows (first one’s: Daughter of the Forest; last one’s: Child of the Prophecy) Really great fantasy works! The song isn’t mine, I’m not sure who it belongs to…

So, it’s a Dutch song again… It’s sung by one of our Pop Idol contestants. So while the two songs before were from very accomplished, and known singers in this corner of the world, this one’s a very ‘fresh’ artist. I don’t think he wrote it personally, but it’s a great song anyway: Ik Hoor Bij Jou, performed by Wim Soutaer.

As for how you can find the actual songs, well I guess you could always try getting them illegally through Kazaa or something like that, but I’m not really promoting that… As for actually buying the cd’s, I have no idea how you could come by them from the States… I suppose you could always ask at a music shop, or surf the net for mail order or something like that… But I assure you, anything from Clouseau or Marco Borsato, and you can’t go wrong (you know: Marco won the best song contest 9 years in a row at the TMF awards: that’s kind of like the MTV awards, but for the Netherlands, and you should know they’ve only held TMF awards for 9 years… so that IS saying something… and Clouseau has been getting hits ever since I was a little girl, and they’re still ‘in’!) As for the reviewer who gets to go to Germany, that’s actually one of our ‘neighbours’ (both of Belgium and the Netherlands), so I guess you could find a compilation cd of at least one of the two there… But in Germany they speak (and sing) German, so I can’t guarantee they’ll have those Dutch songs there… But hey! Germany’s got some interesting music artists, like Nena something, the woman from 99 Luftballons, and there are other great performers, only I’m not that familiar with the those…

Voor de Nederlandstaligen en de Vlaamstaligen ;-) : ja ik ben Belgische, geboren en getogen in Oost-Vlaanderen. Ik weet dat sommige personen vinden dat onze Vlaamse en Nederlandse liedjes niet kunnen tippen aan de commerciële Engelse liedjes… Ik wou juist aantonen dat wij even goed sterke nummers hebben! En voor de reviewer die bang was dat ik Eddy Wally zou kiezen voor het laatste… Kijk, ik ben er van overtuigd dat onze Vlaamse chansonnier zijn waarde heeft in zijn eigen stijl. Jammer genoeg kan ik dat alleen ‘boere-leute-tralala’ noemen, dus alsjeblieft! Met ander woorden:  het is helemaal mijn smaak niet (om niet te zeggen dat ik het persoonlijk nogal van zeer laag niveau vind…) Marco en ons Clouseau’tje zijn toch wel van merkelijke hogere kwaliteit, komaan zeg! Wat zou ik dan moeten kiezen voor zo’n serieuze fic? ‘Ik spring uit een vliegmachine’, ‘Chérie’, of nog beter: ‘Als marktkramer ben ik geboren’? Ik ben hier dus sarcastisch bezig voor wie het niet door had! Geef me toch nog de voordeel van de twijfel, ja? Of ik schrijf een fic met Jo Vally liedjes alleen om de mensen te kl***ten! Sorry voor de taal… Allé, ik hoop dat ik niemand heb gebruuskeerd (ook de Eddy Wally fans niet), maar het moest er even uit!

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For the confused non-Dutch speaking part of readers: I was just settling an issue… Too complicated to explain if you don’t know who ‘Eddy Wally’ is… (and in my opinion, you’re better off not really knowing the man, and I mean that without wanting to hurt his fans)

Now back to the fic… You may think a song like Tony Braxton’s Unbreak my heart, or Céline Dion’s Because you loved me, soundtrack from Up close and personal, or even better: My heart will go on from Titanic… would’ve been more appropriate for this chapter… But that just isn’t Hermione (in my mind), sorry… But if you prefer those, you can always put them on reading this…

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Ik hoor bij jou (I belong with you)

Hermione was trying to breath for the moment.

She had failed… She had failed Harry… She had just totally and utterly failed…

No! This couldn’t happen, not to Harry. He couldn’t die! He was supposed to live his happily ever after, his future…

How could she have failed him? She loved him, and it had taken her long enough to admit it to him… Their love had changed her completely. She had never known the possibilities of simply living, enjoying the love, after she had shared her soul with him. Over the years she’d known him, everything became different, every day was a new kind of beginning…

Now there would only be endings…

Should she have not told him she loved him? Would he have trusted her then as simply a best friend and would he have told her what he was planning to do? Had their love changed their trust in each other?

Ik adem I breath

ik adem alle mogelijkheden in I breath in all possibilities

en breng m'n leven naar een nieuw begin And bring my life to a new beginning

klaar voor verandering in mij Ready for the change in me

Ages ago, she’d found books on Ancient Magic, and had memorized the content by habit… That’s how she had been able to recognise the preparations he was making that day…

She wasn’t sure why he was casting all those powerful spells on his aura, but when the evening grew closer and Voldemort came knocking on their door, she had understood…

Running through options, she had been quick to come up with a plan. A flawed one, and a dangerous one… But it was the only plan she’d got… She could use the spells he’d put on himself, to channel her own strength in the ancient ways…

But it hadn’t been enough… It only made Harry into a vegetable… instead of dead.

And it killed her… It killed her to see him like this.

She had snuck out of her own private room in the Hospital Wing, and had seen Ron come out of Harry’s room. That’s how she’d known: they were going to let go of their hero…

She had seen it in Ron’s look, despite the reluctant acceptance, there had been a great loneliness glaring in his eyes… And Hermione was smart enough to know…

She was going to be alone again… Even more so then before, since now she knew what she’d be missing…

He never even said goodbye…

Over Over

over alle hindernissen heen Beyond all obstacles

ik voel me sinds een tijd niet meer alleen Since some time I’m not that alone any more

de reden ben jij And the reason is you

Hermione remembered a random event… It seemed so far away… It was long before Harry had known anything about her feelings. Before Ron had even remotely liked her… It had been around the time she had still been able to deny the certain attraction she had for Harry.

Her emotions concerning Harry had been strong from the first time she heard about him. Reading to know as much as she could of the world she would be a part of, she had been relieved when she had met The Boy Who Lived. He was just a normal kid, even a bit geeky, nothing mythical about him.

The sweet, shy boy had surprised her when he’d took off on his broomstick, risking expulsion for a boy he wasn’t even really friends with, and who wasn’t even there to witness it. She had thought him an idiot at first, but the truth was… she had been jealous. She wished she could’ve done something to help Neville, she wished she could’ve stand up to little Malfoy from the start… And most of all, she’d wished she had someone backing her up, when they made fun of her…

Of course she had been miffed when they had rewarded Harry’s disobedience by making him Seeker, but it had also been then when she started feeling the need to be close to him. As a ten year old, that translated in wanting to have a bit of his attention. She had heard he knew close to nothing about his family, and she showed him his father’s Quidditch trophy. The intense look in Harry’s eyes when he saw the trophy had cemented something for Hermione.

From then on part of her had been wandering, searching for something. Searching to make him happy, to take care of him, to see that he was ready to survive what life continued to throw at him, to show him what love was… That part of her had been restless and blind, and had grown to be like a big maze inside her head.

Until the moment she knew she loved him, and he loved her…

Ik heb al veel te lang gezworven I’ve already wandered too long

door een doolhof in mijn hoofd Through a maze in my head

ik rende weg van alle keuzes I ran from all choices

met een radeloos geloof With inadvisable faith

maar de hemel trekt zich open But heaven opens itself up

en de zon verjaagt de kou And the sun chases away the cold

Back and the here and now, she looked down. Glancing upon his face she was trembling, she felt cold to the bone. Her bare feet were glued to the stone floor next to his bed. He looked so still, but not peaceful in the least. How could that be?

Didn’t he want to live? Had he nothing to fight for? Why did she feel so selfish wanting him to fight for her?

Oh, she did… Hermione felt her heart break with the possibility of losing him for good… Her chest constricted again, and she had to fight to keep getting enough oxygen in her blood… Why had she failed him? Was she fated to lose him?

Since when did she believe in fate? Sure that stupid Prophecy that had Harry trapped for life turned out to be somewhat right, though it didn’t say Harry had to die as well. That was just Harry’s choice by firing that lethal spell. Only Merlin himself was rumoured to have survived casting it. And only a handful druids from long times past were rumoured to have succeeded in casting it in the first place!

But all these things weren’t even facts! Just rumours and foretelling. And even though Dumbledore had believed the Prophecy was true, she sure wasn’t obligated to suddenly believe! Hermione had principles, and even the more known ‘true’ Seers had always been vague enough to leave room for interpretation!

So where did that leave her?

want ik weet nu Because I know now

ik hoor I belong

ik hoor bij jou I belong with you

Hermione came to a quick decision.

She wasn’t going to let go of the person who made her complete! Not without one hell of a fight!

He deserved to live, and she belonged to him.

She wouldn’t admit to failure until she had tried everything, even if it killed her!

Ik ben bezeten I’m possessed

bezeten van de waarheid in je stem Possessed by the truth in your voice

het is alsof ik in de liefde zwem It is as if I’m swimming in love

m'n toekomst ben jij My future is you

Pushing back any hesitation, she started to disrobe. What she was about to do went against every rational part of her mind. Despite this, her resolve to cross over to the ‘Looney-believers’ felt right in a strange instinctive way.

Her heart beating slowly but loudly, she trembled as she took the sheets from Harry. Though she had seen him without clothes, rarely, but it had occurred, it seemed surreal to be in that situation like this.

According to ancient myth, she quickly threw around some spells, cancelling a couple of the medical once the healers had set up. Though Harry remained motionless, his aura sent out pain, and Hermione knew he was suffering wherever his mind was right now.

Climbing in the bed next to him, she carefully slid her naked body over his. They both felt so cold, and she grabbed the sheet to bring it back over her back. Trying to get as much skin to touch she whispered one last incantation…

Ik ben verlost nu I’m free now

de deur is open The door is open

de weg volledig vrij The way is completely cleared

twijfels liggen weer achter mij Doubts are again behind me

Hermione tried to keep her calm. A part of her knew this was utterly ridiculous of her. The chances of this working were slim to none, and the ramifications if they were to find her here like this with their saviour, together in the buff… she could not allow herself to think about that.

Desperate for this to work, she envisioned situations that made her quell her worries. A part of her brain was mocking her, telling her this would never work, and that she wasn’t that brilliant to have suddenly found how to cure death… or near-death anyway…

Slowly she felt her body relax into the one under her. Feeling Harry so close and wanting to warm every part of his soul was all she wished to do. Awareness of her skin beginning to stick faded, and she felt like waking, instead she wasn’t awake…

De zee is rustig en m'n haven is in zicht The see is calm and my haven is in sight

vanuit het donker naar het felle noorderlicht Out of the dark towards the glaring northern light

vanaf de bergen kijk ik uit over het dal From the mountains I watch out over the dale

jij redt m'n wereld na een vrije val You save my world from freefalling

Frowning Hermione blinked away the glaringly bright light. The scene before her eyes confused her. It seemed to be her and Harry, dancing around through leafs from an autumn day, carefree. The way they were behaving to each other warmed Hermione’s heart. She hoped this was really how other people saw them when they were together, because if she would be objective about this, it was obvious they loved each other immensely…

There was only one thing not quite right about this picture: this had never happened. Now that she looked more closely, she realised they both looked different… Like they were older… Had she succeeded? Was she inside of Harry’s soul? Was that how he envisioned them both?

Taking her eyes away from the happy couple she squinted around to see where she was. As soon as she’d done that though, the scenery changed. Gone were the trees, instead a street with orderly arranged houses striking Hermione as familiar. She felt a need to approach one of these houses, number four.

The front door opened immediately upon her proximity, showing a little hallway and stairs…

Suddenly she stood in front of a little door. A door that granted access to the cupboard under the stairs…

Ik heb al veel te lang gezworven I’ve already wandered too long

door een doolhof in mijn hoofd Through a maze in my head

ik rende weg van alle keuzes I ran from all choices

met een radeloos geloof With inadvisable faith

maar de hemel trekt zich open But heaven opens itself up

en de zon verjaagt de kou And the sun chases away the cold

“Who are you?”

The little Harry, who couldn’t have been more then seven looked at her cautiously. He didn’t really seem upset that a seventeen year old witch was taking in the limited space of his little room, if you could call it that. He looked more curious then scared, and his innocent green eyes were watching her intently. The surprise was too much for her.

“Harry!?”

Now he did look scared: “Shh!” Clamping his little hand on her mouth he shushed her and seemed to be tensely listening for any noise… When he waited a satisfactory while, he relaxed a bit and looked at her questioningly again.

Hermione whispered: “Who are we hiding from? Voldemort?”

Little Harry just looked confused about that: “No… we’re hiding from the people who don’t love we…” As an afterthought he added, shrugging: “Which is pretty much everyone, I guess” Looking at Hermione’s shocked face, he explained matter-of-factly: “Nobody wants me, I’m a freak”

Hermione gently reached out and touched the child’s cheek: “Do you really believe that?”

Little Harry just looked at her like he dared her to prove the opposite.

Tears rolled from Hermione cheeks: “I love you so much, Harry,” Her breath hitched and sobs interrupted her speech: “Please come back to me? Please, I belong with you…”

And with that, she engulfed the little tyke in a hug, trying to transfer all the love she felt for him into that simple but powerful gesture.

Want ik weet nu Because I know now

ik hoor I belong

ik hoor bij jou I belong with you

Slowly Hermione felt the little figure in her arms slip away from her. Opening her eyes in panic, she saw a change of scenery, again.

Hermione didn’t recognise this space either, they seemed to be in the middle of a field with bright yellow flowers, wind playing softly through her hair. She was in the arms of Harry Potter, who was looking at her sadly. Was this goodbye?

“I love you”

Not knowing who said it, but certain they both meant it, a soul-binding kiss followed.

She was where she belonged…

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I hope you don’t hate me too much, but I can’t bring myself to be as optimistic as believing Harry could miraculously survive death twice… Maybe that makes me a bitter cynic, but at the same time I can’t bring myself to stop hoping that he will survive when love’s at his side… So that would make me a twisted kind of love-fool.

You know it’s like: you know people are capable of cruel and despicable things, history is full of such testimonies. But I can’t bring myself to stop hoping that every person has good in him or her, and that if they used their free will concentrating on love, a lot of good could be done by all…

That’s also why I don’t want to explicitly write the outcome: it’s for each of you to make out for yourself. Are you the kind of person who would roll his eyes and proclaim it wishful thinking if I make Harry survive in this story? Or are you the kind of person who would be extremely sad and so mad at me for not letting Harry survive?

The good has already conquered: Voldemort is vanquished. Does that mean love has yet to conquer death? Does Harry have to survive for love to conquer death? What sacrifices would you be willing to make? Is love going to die because Harry is? Or will it go on, no matter what, or even get stronger despite death separating them? Is a martyr a stronger symbol of love, then a breathing hero?

Ok, I’m getting a little too philosophical, here… Sorry…

But please review, and tell me what you thought of it?