A/N: This is just a story I wrote last night at two in the morning. It hasn't been Bata-ed or anything. I don't even know if I am able to write short stories, so this is just a test run. This is a one time story and I hope you will forgive me my errors, though I am an insomniac and my mind doesn't work completely at that time in the morning. Please read and review, any and all suggestions are appreciated and thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoy this.
Title: The Dreams of the Heart
Author: Jade LM Skywalker
Summary: It is just after the holiday break in our gang's seventh and final year. Hermione learns something very important has happened to Harry during the time. She is forced to face what her heart is telling her as she comes face to face with the man she has loved secretly for many years.
The Dreams of the Heart
She slowly makes her way up the stairs, knowing somehow in her heart she will find him there. How she knows this she can't explain. The answer isn't in any book, it comes from her heart. She smiles kindly at the first years as she walks past them, not really interested in what they have to say. Not interested in anything but getting to him.
It came as a huge surprise when he didn't show up for dinner tonight, that is until Professor McGonagall made her way to Ron and herself and explained things over the Christmas Holiday's weren't easy for anyone. A battle had ensued, a horrible battle from the sounds of it. The worse part was he was alone; he didn't have his normal support system with him. She pauses slightly in her step as she realizes he didn't go home for the holidays as he said he would, she knows he wasn't on the express and all so she just figured he had taken the Knight Bus. Her mind drifts back to the conversation that night when she owled her parents saying she would be coming home for the holidays.
~Begin Flashback~
"Are you sure," Hermione asks looking over at Harry wondering what he's up to.
"I promise you I'll be home for Christmas," he assures her. "You haven't spent Christmas with your family in so long, you need to," he says as a couple of second years pass between them. "I'll even take tonight's rounds for you to pack," he offers her with a soft smile.
"Harry, I don't want you to be alone over the holiday," she says with a glare at him knowing being with his family is the same if not worse than being alone.
"I won't be," he says with a definitive nod of his head as he promises her such.
"That's a promise," she asks one last time knowing she will be going home for Christmas.
"I promise I won't be alone over the holidays," Harry says placing his left hand over his heart and his right hand in the air. "Come here," he says taking her into a quick friendly hug, "You be careful," he whispers into her ear as she wraps her arms around him.
"I promise," she vows knowing she has something very important to return to.
"Better get moving Head-Girl," he teases releasing her from his arms.
"Whatever you say Head-Boy," Hermione laughs at him and then all but runs to the owlery to use Hedwig to send note to her parents she will be coming home for the holidays.
~End Flashback~
Now she learns he stayed here the whole holiday. He never went home, and more importantly he was alone. Not only that he was severely injured on Christmas Eve and was unconscious for Christmas and for most of the week afterwards. He awoke on New Years Eve and though still in considerable pain made sure to write letters to his friends asking how they are doing, how the holidays and such are. Not once in his letters did he even hint at what he had been doing. Not once, did he write, 'oh by the way I just beat the meanest, most evil Wizard around and nearly died myself,' in any of his letters.
The train ride back from the break she was too excited about seeing him again that she is sure she was annoying Ron and his girlfriend, well, fiancé Lavender. That is until Ron just smirked at her and said, "Why don't you just tell him you love him," leaving her stunned and her only retort being, "How did you know?"
Over the years the three of them have grown closer than they ever thought possible, they are truly a family. Even her own parents asked if he wants to join them for the holiday, something she knows they do because they have come to love him as their own. An amazing feat in and of itself, something she knows would never happen with any other male, just Harry, who is anything but just Harry, not only to herself but to so many other people who call him family.
Ron and Lavender had convinced her to tell Harry of her feelings, only to find out she might never have gotten the chance to. When Professor McGonagall handed her the brief letter describing just what had occurred over the holiday, her heart stopped and tears started to sting the back of her eyes. They had actually pronounced him dead on the battlefield. If Professor Dumbledore hadn't returned to his body and stayed with him for a time, he wouldn't have made it out alive.
In the second after she handed the note to Ron she was already out of the Great Hall and on her way to the hospital wing. She wasn't too surprised to learn he had slipped out while Madam Pomfrey's back was turned. She was however surprised with the fact Madam Pomfrey was telling her, Hermione Granger, Harry's exact injuries. Injuries she can't believe he survived, injuries that haven't yet healed even with all the magic available. She could only close her eyes at the thought of him somewhere in the castle, alone and in pain.
She turned around to find Ron behind her, listening as well to what their friend and brother has been through once again his short life. "Find him Hermione," Ron says to her surprise. "I want you to find him and help him," he continues softly.
"What do I do," she asks with a whimper.
"Love him and let him know he's loved," Ron answers as he takes her into a brotherly hug and then sends her one her way knowing she will be able to do this.
This leads her to now, as she walks along the empty hallway the only sounds coming from her footsteps echoing in the silence as she makes her way to the door she knew would be here, a door leading to the Room of Requirement and the man she loves with all her heart. She pauses as she reaches the door and turns to look at it. She closes her eyes trying to find the courage to do what she knows in her heart she should have done years ago, tell him how she feels for him. As her eyes close she sees times of days past. She sees him zipping through the air to catch the ever illusive snitch, his smiling face as he searches her out in the crowd as he holds up his newly acquired prize, his green eyes catching hers as they study in their own common room, his smile greeting her in the morning and his soft whispering voice wishing her sweat dreams even though he doesn't know she can hear him.
She smiles at the memories running through her mind, and it is with the help of these memories she finally reaches out and takes the door knob in her hand and gently turns it. She slowly and quietly pushes the door open and sees a very dark room. She steps into the room wishing her eyes would just adjust already to the darkness of the room. Shutting the door behind her she turns around and her eyes are instantly drawn to the figure sitting on the windowsill of the only window in the empty room. "Harry," she whispers softly in greeting.
He doesn't turn to look at her, he doesn't move at all, "I wondered how long it would take you," he says so softly she almost missed it.
"You promised," she says unable to stop herself.
"I didn't break it," he says still not looking at her as she starts walking toward the lone figure.
"You were alone," she points out.
He finally turns to look at her, but she is unable to see him clearly in the darkness of the stormy night and the blackness of the room. The falling snow behind him only illuminating his shape but hiding his features. "But I wasn't," he says to her.
"No body was with you," she points out as she sits down on the sill beside him.
"Not physically," Harry agrees with a soft nod of his head.
"Then how can you say you weren't alone," Hermione asks still in a whisper, it almost seems wrong to speak in a normal voice, as though they are being reverent of something very important but she doesn't know what. Harry turns to look out the window again, and she knows he's reluctant to share with her his reasons for feeling the way he does. She takes this moment as he thinks about how to answer to look him over. She can see the bruising of his face, the still healing cuts, and the deep pain in his eyes and the sadness in his features. Even though he looks like he's been through hell and back, he looks more handsome than she can ever remember.
"I've told you some of my past with the Dursley's," he finally says to her snapping her out of her thoughts.
This confuses her; she didn't ask about his past, she asked why he didn't think he was alone when he was. "Some," she says knowing better than to interrupt him. For if she did, he would never bring it up again and she doesn't want him to block her out, she doesn't want him to feel he has to keep things from her.
"When I was with them," he continues as he watches the falling snow with child like amazement. "I was alone, truly and utterly alone," he finishes as though it is enough of an answer.
"I'm sorry Harry," she says softly as she reaches out her right hand and touches his arm, needing to make contact with him, needing to feel him, to know he's alive and not another of her nightmares. "I don't understand," she admits when he glances at her.
"Sorry," Harry says with a slight shrug of his shoulders, Hermione cringes as she sees him wince in pain the movement causes. "When I lived with the Dursley's I had no friends, I had no one who knew me, who cared about plan old me," he starts to explain. "When Christmas would come around I would have to get up in the morning and make breakfast as the others were celebrating the holiday. I was never included, I was never thought of, and I wasn't on anyone's mind or anything. I was just there, I existed and yet I didn't," he says looking down at the grounds below his eyes settling on the chimney of Hagrid's hut. "Did you think about me on Christmas," he asks softly.
"All day, every day," Hermione confesses instantly and un-hesitantly not knowing exactly what he's trying to tell her.
Harry smiles at this, "Which is why I wasn't alone," he says looking back at her. He sees her confused look. "Don't you understand," he asks softly. "I wasn't alone because all of you, you were in my heart. I had people who cared for me, I haven't been alone since I became your friend," he explains to her and before she can comment he continues as he slowly reaches up and gently wipes her tears from her cheeks. "I wasn't alone because I knew in my heart that I mattered to someone, someone was thinking of me and I had someone to think of as well, I was thinking of people who I feel are my family. It's hard to explain, it's difficult to put into words, but I am never alone anymore," he finishes and Hermione can see a glistening of tears in his eyes. "There are people in my heart now, where there was none before," he adds on after a moment.
Hermione can't take it anymore and she gently moves closer to him and pulls him to her in a hug. She buries her head in his shoulder and lets the tears flow. Harry wraps his arms around her in return. "I'm sorry," Hermione mumbles into the embrace.
"Shh," Harry says as he starts to slowly sway in a comforting fashion. "I promised you I would be home for Christmas," he says trying to fully answer her. "Hogwarts is my home," he says in answer and Hermione realizes she should have known this long before. "I am home," he whispers as he buries his face into her hair meaning more than just Hogwarts.
Hermione is stunned by the kindness this one boy has. She came here to comfort him and yet her he is forgetting about his own pain to comfort her. If she didn't love him before, she knows she does now. She also knows she loves him with all her heart and wouldn't be able to live without him in her heart. "I love you," she whispers before her courage can fail her when she needs it the most. "I love you Harry," she says again as she looks into his stunned eyes.
Harry gulps, "What," he asks in a cracked whisper.
"I love you," she repeats, "I'm in love with you," she clarifies knowing she may have just destroyed the best friendship she has ever had, but she knows she couldn't live another day hiding it from him. Not now, not ever.
"No one's ever loved me before," Harry says in a stunned whisper.
"A lot of people love you Harry," Hermione says as fear settles in her heart fearing he doesn't return this love.
Harry looks at her for a moment, a long moment, and then she knows by the look in his eyes he has come to a very difficult decision. "I know we haven't," he pauses slightly, "Um," he tries again. At this moment Hermione's heart breaks as she realizes he is trying to let her down softly. She starts to stand up, needing to get away, to leave, to die, but she is stopped by the soft hand on her shoulder. "Wait," Harry says to her pleadingly, hoping she can understand what he can't put into words but she is unable to look at him. She needs to get out of here, her world is falling apart.
Harry can see the pain in her eyes and he hates that he has placed it there; his words he knows have come out wrong and have caused more pain than he wanted. He knows if he doesn't fix this now he will never get another chance to again. He closes his eyes as she refuses to look at him, "Forgive me," he whispers as he leans forward and gently presses his lips against her soft lips in their first kiss.
Hermione wonders what he needs forgiveness for and is startled as she feels his lips touch her own. She is stunned for a heartbeat before she returns the kiss throwing her arms around his neck and trying to bring him as close to her as possible. They break apart a few minutes later and just sit there hugging. It becomes too much for her, she needs to kiss him again. So bringing her head back from his shoulder she presses her lips to his again. She moans softly at the pleasure this single chaste kiss is rising in her. She gently rubs her tongue along his lower lip, begging entrance to what she knows is heaven. She feels Harry open his mouth to grant her, her dreams. She deepens the kiss as she fists her hands in his shirt and hair trying to become one with him.
A few breathless minutes later they part, Harry leans his forehead against hers, brown eyes meeting green. "I know we haven't dated or anything," he says breathlessly as he starts again on his own admission. He smiles as he sees Hermione smile as she realizes he wasn't going to tell her no, but was only trying to explain something else. "I also know what I'm about to ask is a little too quickly and I will understand if you say no, I want you to be happy and I love you way too much to let you get away from me if you feel the need to say no now. So know this, I love you with all my heart," he says and then takes a deep breath as he locks eyes with her, he can see the concern, the question in those entrancingly beautiful brown eyes. "Will you, um, marry me," he asks stuttering.
This stuns Hermione speechless, something that has never happened before in all her life. she sits there looking into the eyes of the man she love more than live itself and yet she can't seem to find the ability to reach out and take her dreams as her own. She watches his emerald green eyes shift from happiness and joy to understanding and acceptance all tangled in with love. She realizes he has taken her silence as a no and she can't let him think that. She quickly captures his lips with her mouth in a searing passionate kiss. They break apart gasping for breath, "Yes," she says excitedly as she hugs her now stunned fiancé as hard and yet as gently as she can.
"Yes?" Harry asks as he pulls her out to look into her beautiful face.
"Yes," Hermione repeats smiling wider than she has in months.
Harry wraps his arms around her and with a squeak from her he picks her up and twists her around and around in the now brightly lightened room. "YES!" he shouts out laughing with happiness as he sets her on the floor again. Both of them laughing as they once again seal their promise of love with another kiss.
A few minutes later they separate, hands intertwined Hermione smiles up at the man who will soon be her husband. "Come on Mr. Potter we have to get you back to the hospital wing," she says with a soft smile that begins to fade as she remembers why she is up here in the first place.
Harry sees the change in her features and places a gentle kiss to her forehead in comfort, "Whatever you say Mrs. Potter," he says and smiles at the blush rising on her cheeks as she smiles wider once again.