TITLE: What Really Matters
AUTHOR: emerald_eYeZ (Lily Cassandra G. Potter)
AUTHOR E-MAIL: samurai_gurl@fuckingwicked.com
SPOILERS: Books 1-5
RATING: PG-13 for language
SHIPS: H/Hr
CATEGORIES: Romance and a bit of Drama & Angst
SUMMARY: Harry decided that it's time for the prophecy to be fulfilled. He wants to do it alone. Ron and Hermione decide against it. (set in their 6th year)
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: This is my debut piece so please forgive me for grammatical errors which I may unintentionally commit.
READ AND REVIEW!!!
I accept flames if I really deserve it but…
~Lily
P.S. Please inform me if the characters are a bit OoC. Thanks!
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"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
~William Jennings Bryan
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It is time.
As the dark skies loomed overhead in the ceiling of the Great Hall, every person within these walls knows not of the scene that they'll soon witness and which would forever be engraved in the memory of each.
While these oblivious people eat peacefully, minding their own business, two individuals in the Gryffindor Common Room were doing the complete opposite. The atmosphere inside the room was of anguish, sadness and hurt.
"Harry, how many times should I say this to you?? YOU- ARE - NOT - GOING - TO - FACE - YOUR - FATE - ALONE!" a redhead man who was already fuming with impatience, shouted at the face of his best friend.
"Ron, it is my destiny, okay? I already know that I was too stupid to recognize that Voldemort was tricking me last year and IT WAS MY FAULT that, Sirius got killed! Do you know how that feels? Watching the last person who loved me get killed! AND THIS TIME, I'M NOT GOING TO LET ANY OF YOU KILL YOURSELF IN A BATTLE THAT WAS MEANT FOR ME!" Harry slammed his hand on the table between him and Ron.
"DAMN IT! Can't you give yourself a rest and for the first time, think that these things were never your FAULT? It was You-Know-Who's okay? So don't act like a stupid git and acting like a bloody hero once again!! JUST THINK, HARRY, THINK! What'll you do? Just barge in You-Know-Who's place and say `Hey, stop killing people and fight me instead!' ? And what do you think will happen if you just left, eh? You're the one who's going to kill us BIT by BIT!! YOU'LL KILL US BY WORRYING OUR ASS OFF!"
"WHY COULDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?? IT'S MY DESTINY TO BE IN THIS SHIT! Not yours! And I've already planned what I'm going to do there! That's why I'm telling you this, okay? So you'll know where I'm headed and its better this way `cos I know that no one's going to be killed tonight except me or Voldemort! And don't you worry because I AM the one who'll be fighting, not you! AND WHETHER I DIE TONIGHT OR NOT, AT LEAST, I'VE GIVEN THE PEOPLE I CONSIDERED A FAMILY, A PROPER GOODBYE!"
There was a silence as Harry and Ron glared at each other, both searching for something to say.
And when Ron opened his mouth to say something -
"STOP IT!"
A new voice shouted its' frustration.
The person who shouted came into view from the shadows that made her invisible to the other two.
Hermione.
Her eyes were close to tears and her hair was a mess as though she was always clutching her hair in aggravation.
Harry had a sudden thought about her ,seemingly more beautiful, even in that state. But he quickly brushed off the thought thinking that he should deal with those feelings later. And then, the anguish was back again. But it was not directed to any of the person he's with at the present but at the person (if you would call him that) who destroyed his life.
He and Ron stared at her as many windows in the Gryffindor tower shattered due to the extreme tension and rage the people inside emitted.
"Harry, you really don't know how we feel at this moment," She said with an odd expression on her face. But they knew that pain was also brewing inside her.
It was not a question but more of a statement.
"We feel so much pain and here you are, making us feel more like you're abandoning us for that bloody prophecy. I know- we know that it was all hard for you. Sirius' death, the prophecy, your fate that was waiting for you in the Dark Lord's hands. Thus, we feel that you are seeking something more deep than life itself. And here we are, waiting for you to come into our waiting arms. But, you never did."
She paused. By now, there were uncontrollable tears which were flowing down from her eyes to her chin.
As Harry and Ron both made a move as if to wipe Hermione's tears, they saw something in her eyes that urged them to stop.
It was their first time to see her REALLY cry from such emotions. Yes, they've seen her cry a few times before, yet it was because of only one emotion. It was of happiness, sadness or extreme anguish. But this time, they couldn't tell which emotion was forcing her to be in so much pain.
She was hurt.
Then, she continued.
"With so many things that people expect from you, your heart and mind were burdened so much that you nearly forgot that there are still people caring for you and loving you. And I know… I know because I am one of them. And Ron too. And Ginny, Neville, Luna, Dumbledore and many others. And do you know who suffers more than you do? ME! You know why? Because I lo- I cared for you, maybe more than you ever did… We were best friends for six whole years and here you are, slowly walking away from us, afraid that we're going to be the next on You-know-who's hit list! -Yes, Harry, I know that you're doing that for a while now- YOU HAVE TO KNOW NOW THAT YOU ARE WITH US UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT BECAUSE WE CHOSE TO! And stop that bloody drama now, because what you were saying is not true! IT- WAS- NEVER-YOUR - FAULT!" Hermione said slowly, gritting her teeth because of mixed emotions.
"And what's this destiny you're talking about? You make your own destiny, Harry… not some insect-like seer who can never predict the future without rolling her eyes and having a seizure! This is your life, Harry… and nobody except you, can change it."
She said this all with a voice that indicated the end of the conversation.
She looked at the two most important people in her life with such love for both of them yet with very different feelings. She glanced at Ron and she saw that his mouth was open and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Her love for him was just as a brother and she was almost sure that he knew it too.
Then seeing Hermione staring at him made him go back to earth and immediately he looked away.
Afterwards, she turned to Harry who was currently looking interestedly on his shoes.
She smiled grimly, and told her last words to Harry.
"Look at me, Harry…"
When she received no reply nor movement from him, Hermione placed her hand to his cheek and forced it upward, thus making him face her. Although, his face was already facing Hermione, his eyes still lingered on something else.
"Look at me…"
This time, her voice was quite filled with force.
It made him look at her with those beautiful green eyes of him, formerly bright.
Now, what Hermione saw made her heart break. His eyes told her something near similar to her pain.
His eyes looked like it was lifeless. Its usual bright cheery color had somehow turned to dull green. What's more is that these great green pools which were windows to his soul had tears lingering at the side of his eyes.
He was in misery.
Yet she knew that her next words must be said, once and for all.
"You, Harry Potter, shall make your destiny… and that's to emerge out of your battle victorious. Bear in mind that nobody's going to die in this war except HIM."
Hermione's voice was dangerously low but she stated her words briefly yet clearly.
With a heavy sigh, she continued.
"I know you can do it… although, you shall need us there and we shall be there. No one's going to change our decision, Harry… not even Voldemort himself. Nor our loyalty for each other will never waver. We shall be there beside you, no matter what happens and sooner or later, you'll realize, its not that bad after all. Remember that, Harry, Remember that…"
Then, a bitter smile crossed her lips.
She dropped her right hand which she had been using to hold Harry's chin, to her sides and with that, she left him staring after her, taking in all the words she has just said.
Afterwards, he turned to the other man in the room, uneasily.
Ron looks at him for a moment with that odd look in his eyes then followed Hermione's suit out of the portrait hole.
Alone in the common room, Harry then released all the tears that he had been holding in the past few minutes then said to himself,
"I've been an idiot and I loved her too much to notice anything."
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Hermione entered the great hall crying loudly which catched the attention of most students. Seeing that it was only the bookworm and thinking that she and Ron had another traditional rows, they turned back to their own businesses.
She walked towards Ginny, the only girl she trusted her life with, then poured all the things that had happened in the Common Room.
As usual, Ginny just listened all the while, until her friend stopped rambling.
`Okay, inhale. Exhale. It's over now, Hermione… He's going to realize that he was wrong about his choice' the bushy-haired girl thought to herself.
`Are you sure?'
`Yes… NO.I mean yes, I'm quite sure.'
I think.
Then suddenly, Ron Weasley pushed open the door to the Great Hall, his face red and his right eye was twitching dangerously.
At this moment, people were already wondering about what probably happened because it was their first time to see Ron THAT angry and without the famous Harry Potter following behind him.
They got more surprises when they saw him sit beside Hermione, fuming. They watched him as he gritted his teeth, complaining loudly about something that occurred between the Wonder Trio.
They caught snippets of what he and Hermione were talking about like, "…only thinking about us. What about himself, eh?" "Ron, please keep your voice down…" "…sometimes his head is soo thick to think about what our feelings really are! Hemione, why can't he understand that we also love him?"
The ramblings went on and on until the other people got tired of eavesdropping to whatever took place between the three best friends.
In the end, Ginny Weasley used her sedative charm to calm his brother down.
"Ron, just let him be. He has lost so much in his life that he is already confused to what he should do or not. Let's just give him some time to think and no one knows, maybe he'll have some sense in him."
She said these with finality in her voice that Ron started to cool down a bit.
Then, as Hermione's tears began to dry up, without warning, the door slammed open and there, in the doorway, stood The-Boy-Who-Lived.
`Finally.'
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FLASHBACK: (Harry's POV)
In the Common Room,
`Damn, damn, damn'.
`She was right, and I've been acting like an idiot…'
As I sit here in the couch in front of the fireplace, I couldn't help but think about the words I unconsciously said a while ago.
`She said she suffers more than I do. Why? She doesn't have a horrible past like mine! She doesn't have a lightning bolt shape scar in her forehead! She-`
`She's in love with you. And you're in love with her too'.
`Who are you? And what are you saying? I don't even know what love is!'
`I'm your other self, idiot boy. If you don't know what love is, then what do you call the care your friends and Sirius had given to you?'
`I-I-'
`What do you call the butterflies in your stomach when you talk about someone in particular? What about your endless concern for someone? The thing that saved you from Voldemort's curse? What about the sacriffice your mother ma-'
`Okay, okay… I know what love is but what are you saying about being in love with Hermione? She is only my bestfriend! The bookworm of our year! The one who's always there for me! The cleverest witch in our year! Yes, I love her and she loves me too! Like I loved Ginny as a sister! And she loves me too as a brother she never had! I will never lover her like that! And she will never love me like that either! Although… I- I don't know. but…'
`Yes?'
`NO! I will never love her like that!'
`Harry, Harry, Harry… you're still confused? What are you saying? Never? My boy, NEVER has a very complicated yet simple meaning. Do you even know what you are saying? If you're not in love with our very own Hermione, then, how do you see her?'
`I-I see her as a sister… but, there's something else… it's more than that. I- I DON'T KNOW!'
`…'
`OKAY! I give up now! I'm in love with her and so what?'
`And?'
`…'
`What are you going to do about it now?'
`I- I don't underst- OH MY GOD! I should protect her! And Ron too. And Ginny. And everyone else. They'll be on top of Voldemort's hit list! What'll I do?'
`Harry, where are you now?'
`In Hogwarts of course…'
`And? Doesn't Voldemort fear Dumbledore? And with Dumbledore here, he-'
`He can protect everyone else I love and they won't be in the Dark Lord's reach!'
`Good boy… and?'
`I'm going to fight Voldemort alone so he couldn't hurt my friends! And Hermione too…'
`Are you sure about your decision?'
`Yes, I'm quite sure about it. I'm going in there alone whether they like it or not. Nobody's going to change my decision…'
`Then, what're you waiting for?'
And with that, I stood up and went out of the Common Room to tell them I've made up my mind.
`Nobody could change that. Not even Hermione, because I'm doing this for her. Nobody.'
End Of Flashback…
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`Finally.'
He casually walked over to the Gryffindor table then stopped in front of his two best friends and said, "I'm going in there alone, whether you like it or not…"
The reaction these eleven words got was what made Harry immediately regret his move.
Ron Weasley, who stood up with a tightened jaw, was about to punch Harry to get some sense into him when Hermione got there first.
SLAP.
The whole room got quiet.
When Harry entered the Great Hall in the first place, they thought that he was going to admit his mistake and let the two of them go with him in the Battle that was meant to happen.
Boy, how wrong they were.
It seemed that Harry was more stubborn than they thought.
Yet as Hermione slaps him across his face, it appears that he has already prepared himself for any reaction he may get.
The-Boy-Who-Lived narrowed his eyes and touched his left cheek where there was a big red mark that she had made by slapping him hard.
"Is that all?"
The result was inevitable.
Hermione's eyes once again filled with uncontrollable tears and she cried out, not caring about anyone who might hear her.
"How could you?! I thought that you've already realized that you were wrong about your decision about fighting Voldemort alone! I've told you Harry, we're going to that battle, even with a stupid prophecy stating that you should be the only one who can kill the Dark Lord-"
The tension in the room increased when Harry interrupted her and said, "I only came here to let you know that I'm going to do it alone and I thought…" he paused and then continued, "I thought that, you should at least know about it before I go."
And with that, he turned around and started to walk out of the room when he was stopped by a gentle hand which was holding onto his arm.
"Didn't you get it yet?" Hermione asked him faintly, her eyes dried of tears and it seemed that she was already beyond crying.
He turned to look at her.
Harry's heart broke yet again but he was too stubborn to let anybody know what he was feeling right now.
Before he could answer, however, she beat him to it.
"Do you know what the `power the Dark Lord knows not' that you have? It was love, Harry and it is in you… Remember that your mother's love was what saved you from his clutches, right? And you succeeded against him with that. You could do it again. I really-"
Once again, she was disrupted by Harry and his next words hurt her like nothing else in this world.
"I know, `Mione… but I- I already have someone else here to remind me of my mother's love yet the way I love that someone is just more than my whole life. I love her, and I don't want her to be killed because of me…" he said, pointing at his chest.
With that, Hermione broke down to her knees, sobbing.
Harry reluctantly turned around again, yet receiving a punch from Ron in doing so. The red-headed man was already seething with anger and when he was about to give Harry another blow, the green eyed boy gave him a bittersweet smile as if telling him, `save it, I don't deserve your anger..'
Harry then turned his back to Ron and as he walked towards the door, a voice called out to him and made his heart do somersaults.
"Although, you have someone else in your heart, please, oh please, never forget about me, about us… and do tell me, who is she? Make sure that she's worthy or I'll hex her into oblivion!! Cos' you know what? I- I'm in love with you, Harry James Potter… I really am!"
Harry halted in front of the door and made a move as if to turn back again, yet he thought against it.
He then said in a tone almost above a whisper the three words that had reverberated through the walls of Hogwart's and would forever change the lives of the two people who were involved.
"It's you, Hermione…"
After that, he opened the door and ran… ran as fast as he can to a place- he didn't know…
He said those words.
Those words that would soon cause an uproar in the great hall.
He said it not only to her, but also to the people who stood, shocked at what they have witnessed.
He had said them.
And that's what really matters…right now.
A/N: Soo.. uhmm.. do you like it?
~Lily
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