Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything Harry Potter. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be writing for free! I also don't own "The Bachelorette", that belongs to the great guys at ABC. ( I think it's ABC)
Author's Note: I came up with this idea quite awhile ago, but didn't feel up to writing it
until recently. Obviously, it's extremely AU. Hope you like it!
"The Bachelorette"
Hermione was extremely nervous. Just a couple months ago, she was sitting in her living room on
girl's night with her two best friends, Lavender Brown and Luna Lovegood, watching "The Bachelorette",
when, at the end, the notice came on to take nominations for the next Bachelorette.
"Hermione! You should do that!" Lavender suggested excitedly. "It's been awhile since you broke up with John, this would be a great way to meet someone new!"
"I don't know, Lavender," Hermione said, shaking her head slightly. "I know it's been plenty of time, but I just don't think that's the best way to meet Mr. Right. All of those guys are on that show just for the publicity. None of them actually want to meet a woman. Well, I'm sure they do, just not for the right reasons."
"No, really, Hermione. I think it would be fun," said Luna, trying her best to think of a reason why it would be fun. "Just think, you get your pick of 25 handsome guys. Either way, you win. What girl wouldn't like those odds?"
"I know, Luna, it just isn't a very 'Hermione' thing to do. I've never done anything like that before. I wouldn't know how to act..." Hermione tried to reason, drifting off toward the end because she knew resistance was futile. Lavender was already picking up the phone and dialing the 1-800 number to nominate Hermione. A minute later, she hung up the phone and turned toward Hermione.
"You have to fill out the online application and send in a videotape of yourself, and they'll let you know in a couple weeks. Come on, Hermione, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."
"Okay, I'll do it," Hermione finally agreed, accepting defeat.
Lavender and Luna squealed excitedly and jumped up off the couch. Luna ran toward the other side of the room to the computer and began to pull up the online application and print it so the could fill it out while Lavender searched for the video camera. Hermione got up also, just definitely not with the same enthusiasm as her two best friends. She knew there was no way to get in their way when they began to get excited like this, so she just let them have at it and decided it best to just begin to clean up and let them do their thing. She picked up the empty popcorn bowls from the coffee table and headed toward the kitchen, dropping the bowls in the sink and flicking her wand to start them washing as she poured herself another glass of wine. She was going to need it, she was sure of it. Just as she got back to the living room, she saw Lavender setting up the camera on the tripod, and Luna was seated, reading a piece of paper. Hermione sat down next to Luna and peeked at the paper over her shoulder.
"What is that anyway, Luna?" she asked, not being able to figure out what it was on her own.
"It's just a list of questions they want answered by you on this tape you have to send in. Just the basic stuff, 'What are you looking for in a man?' , 'Do you kiss on a first date and would you be willing to make out on national television?'. You know, the same 'ol," she looked over at Hermione and smirked.
"Honestly, Luna! Do they really ask that?" Hermione asked in disbelief.
"No, not really, well the first one is real, but the second one isn't," Luna admitted, going back to reading the questions.
"Well, I'm ready with the camera. Did you want to do it looking like that, Hermione, or did you need a few minutes to make yourself presentable?" Lavender asked, looking up at Hermione with a small smile.
"I suppose I should do a little something to smarten myself up. Give me a few minutes." Hermione got up and went toward her room. Five minutes later, she emerged with her hair down and neatly brushed and a little makeup on to brighten her face up.
"That's a little better, Hermione. Sit down where you just were in the middle of the couch. Luna, you take that armchair next to me so we won't be able to see you in the shot. Okay, Hermione, Luna is going to ask you the questions, and just answer honestly. Are you ready?" asked Lavender, finger over the record button.
"Ready," Hermione said, still unsure if she really wanted to do this. She tried to smile and at least act like she was enjoying this.
"Okay, Hermione," started Luna. " What do you look for in a man?"
"Well," Hermione began, trying to come up with an extra thoughtful answer. "I suppose he'd have to be considerate of both me, and everyone else, thoughtful, helpful, a little chivalry wouldn't be lost on me, certainly, and he would definitely have to be able to make me laugh. Laughter is very important in a healthy relationship. It would also be important for him to believe in himself and have goals. I suppose it wouldn't hurt for him to be slightly attractive, too." Hermione added as an afterthought, a small smile shining through her extreme nervousness.
"What made you decide to apply for 'The Bachelorette'?"
"At first, I only did so at my best friends' insistence," Hermione laughed. "But the more I think about it, it's a great way to meet new people and do something I wouldn't normally do. I'm sure it would be a great experience, and certainly a wonderful opportunity."
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a doctor for a well-known hospital in my area," Hermione said, not sure how she should put into words just exactly what it is that she does. She certainly couldn't go on a Muggle television show and tell them she was a Healer for St. Mungo's, now could she. She looked up at Lavender, who gave her a brief nod of assurance.
"Do you feel you are ready for the commitment that a relationship brought on by this show may require?"
"I'm very ready, I believe. I have had many long-term relationships in the past, none of which have worked out, obviously. I'm hoping this show will be exactly what was needed to help me find that special someone."
Luna looked over at Lavender, and with a nod of her head pushed the stop button on the camcorder. She took the tape out and tossed it to Hermione who caught it and set it beside her.
"Now all we need is to fill out that application, mail it and the tape in, and wait," said Luna, getting up from her armchair to get the application off the printer. "It says here it may take a couple weeks once all applications are received to review them, and the chosen applicant will be notified by telephone on or before August first. Let's hope we're giving them what they're looking for!"
Yes, thought Hermione rather unenthusiastically, Let us hope.