Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Accidentally In Love

Author: dreamfish

Rating: PG

Ships: H/Hr

Summary: (Chaptered Story) Hermione is reading Harry's series of diaries with his permission before she goes to University. It reveals things about him that she never knew.

Accidentally In Love

When I was fifteen, I barely had time to be young. To be childish, I couldn't. I had to grow up faster than everyone else. But, when I look at it, fifteen is pittance compared to how long I'll live as a Wizard. A hundred years? Two hundred? Three? When I was fifteen, I had the adolescent crushes, I had the late night drinking sessions in the common room, I had the cloak to sneak around in and I hated some of my teachers. Apart from leading the life of Harry Potter, normal Harry was growing up nicely.

Hermione decided it was time for a drink. If it weren't for the constant need to have liquid by her side, she'd have read Harry's journal from front to back in a second. Nevertheless, Harry had given her the task of reading them and she would see it through. Although, she hadn't thought that Harry had these many thoughts during their years at Hogwarts, she never thought he'd keep a diary for fear of it turning into a Tom Riddle cast off.

She walked into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. Now eighteen, she couldn't decide whether to go onto University straight away of just to stay at home, do some work, travel a bit around the world (Muggle and otherwise) then get down to some serious work when she got home. She hadn't decided and that wasn't usual for her. She climbed up onto the counter and sat on the marble worktops swinging her legs as she waited for the kettle to boil.

Harry had been a bit dark when he was in school. She had watched him grow up but she didn't know that he was that dark or had that many thoughts in his lifetime. There were the times when she'd be doing her homework by the fire and he'd just be sitting next to her, watching the flames. It was eerie but it was his way of coping with things. And if he didn't have enough to cope with, who did?

She barely noticed the kettle flick off, but she jumped down from the counter and poured herself a drink. She held it in both her hands as she walked back into the living room. As cold as winter was, she would swear that it was colder in her living room. It wasn't the same as being in the common room at Hogwarts when everywhere was warm constantly. She sat back down on her chair, balancing the cup on her knee with her hand and grabbed the journal with the other.

I'm the only one that's stayed in today. Hogsmeade day again, I didn't really wanna go. Got nothing to get so why go? Instead, I spent majority of the day flat on my back looking up at the ceiling. Got a few funny looks from the first and second years roaming past every now, especially when you've got a big grin on your face, but what the hell! You only live once! One day, someone's going to be reading this and find out what I was doing that day. I got nothing but constant badgering from Ron to go, but honestly, Hermione was the only one who took it with some grace. Yeah, she looked disappointed that I wasn't taking our annual trip but…I've gotta draw the line somewhere. I've gotta have some time for myself.

Hermione remembered that day, her and Ron had gone to Hogsmeade alone and while she was in the bookshop, Ron had seemingly fled somewhere. She couldn't find him, but Luna eventually found her, with that dreamy look on her face again reading a book on dream interpretation. Harry seemed to like the sweets she brought back for him though. He gobbled them shortly after his dinner, sharing them with her and no one else secretly. He had them on his lap while doing his homework and she'd pinch one every now and then and he'd grin at her, telling her she was somewhat cheeky.

Somehow, I can't write this more than I can sign my name. I can't…I don't want to talk about him but I can't help it, you know? This burning desire to get it all off my chest and all I can do is write it down. I suppose no one will read it if I put it in here, so there's no need to be so secretive. He's gone and I can't help him come back. I can't bring him back. This echo keeps repeating, `he's gone, he's gone, he's gone'. I could close my eyes, I could sleep and watch the whole experience drift away, fade into the world far away. I don't want this anymore. I don't want it. Will someone just rescue me, please?

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