Author's Notes: Cute, fluffy, one-shot. Thought about what Hermione was really like, deep down inside. Let me know if you like it.
Confessions of A Teenage Bookworm
I have a confession.
I'm a bookworm.
Okay, so maybe that's not much of a confession, I admit, but true nonetheless. That's me, the clever, wide-eyed, know-it-all Gryffindor bookworm.
I have another confession.
I'm a genius. No, really. I'm serious. My parents had my IQ tested when I was younger, and I have an IQ of about one-sixty...roughly ten points higher than certified genius level. Dead bother, actually. Sometimes I'm too smart for my own happiness...my mind keeps running over and over things and I'm never satisfied with anything less than perfect. And believe me, being a perfectionist in an imperfect world makes for agony.
Perhaps the worst thing about being a genius is the fact that I haven't really figured out what I want to do with it yet. To be quite honest, sometimes I feel as if God wasted it on me...granted, I love to learn and I love being intelligent, but I'm not really making great use of it yet. Who cares about good grades when I could be developing a cure for cancer or AIDS or something?
I have more confessions. Probably more than anyone would ever guess, even my best mates. They just don't realize what's going on in my head most of the time.
Someday, I'd love to own a bookstore, and to write novels in my spare time. Nothing academic or philosophical, just novels that are sweet and fantastic and captivating. Those are the best things to read...things that take you away to a world so unlike your own.
I worry that my imagination is simultaneously my greatest strength and greatest weakness. That's another confession of mine...I daydream a lot. I lose myself in things, making up romances or adventures, wondering what my family is doing while I'm away at Hogwarts. It's a wonderful way to escape reality; I often wonder why it is I'm running from reality so much lately.
I want to have children. Maybe even adopt ones that don't have a home.
I want to do something great and be remembered for it...even if it's only for inventing a new ice cream flavor.
More confessions....I love Muggle music. All sorts of Muggle music, but particularly the punk-emo genre. I tried to explain emo to Ron once...he told me I was a nutter. Hence the reason most people don't really know what sort of hobbies I have...so I'll confess to you. When I'm at home, on holiday, I go to concerts. I wear lots of funny plastic bracelets and heavy black eyeliner and I put checkered shoelaces in my Chuck Taylor's...I dunno why I do it. Maybe because I feel that it's the best way to dress for expressing yourself, for wearing things so-called "normal" people wouldn't wear...because in all honesty, I'm not normal in the Muggle world anyway, so why should I even try?
I showed Harry a picture of me from the hols once, and waited for him to laugh. To my surprise, he simply appeared thoughtful.
"You know, Hermione," he said, "I've always thought that the Hogwarts uniform suited you...but now that I see this, that punk rock look suits you too." Then he shrugged. "I suppose you look pretty in anything," he grinned, then stalked off to play chess with Ron.
I just blushed and went back to reading.
That's another confession altogether...Harry Potter.
Harry is probably the single greatest guy I've ever know in my life. Not that Ron isn't terrific, of course, but he's more...two-dimensional, if you know what I mean. Harry's had to grow up fast and use his brain, and that makes him even more brilliant than he would normally be. I guess what I mean is that...
Harry is more the type I'm attracted to.
Maybe that's the confession everybody's been waiting seven years for. That, yes, I do actually see Harry as more than a friend. Not that it's obvious or anything, because I do try awfully hard not to let on. It would make things awkward, and it would hurt Ron's feelings...he'd think I was playing favorites or something.
Which I am.
Not that I love Harry any more than Ron, just in an intensely different way.
Seeing Harry every morning is the moment I wait for all night. Even when I'm asleep, I'm dreaming of him. Of those deep emerald eyes, of that crazy black hair, of that unapologetic grin...all the things that make him Harry, those are the things I love about him.
Yes, there's another confession to add to the extensive list.
I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend.
I know everyone in my grade....in my house....in the school....thinks that I'm too absorbed in studying to be a teenage girl. But I am. I dream of having that torrid love affair, of that secret romance....honestly, for a while I even thought of it with Remus Lupin. The man was just my type--quiet, smart, sweet, brave....but in the end, I couldn't lie to myself anymore than I could lie to Dumbledore.
I want all those things with Harry.
I'm not sure if I'll ever tell him, but maybe someday...
In the mean time, there are still plenty things on my confessions list. Like the time I hid Parvati's make-up case just so I wouldn't have to endure yet another attempted make-over, or the time I snuck with Luna and Ginny to the Astronomy Tower and dropped water balloons on the Slytherins, or the time I made Harry distract Madam Pince so I could nick a book from the Restricted Section.
Yes, I've had my share of fun and adventure, most of it due to Harry.
But here I am, still waiting for the biggest adventure of all.
And I confess, for him...I'm willing to wait forever.