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Big Surprises, Small Packages by Excalibur
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Big Surprises, Small Packages

Excalibur
Chapter One

"HERMIONE!" Harry Potter shouted at the top of his lungs. He growled in frustration after the last batch of thunder rolled away, leaving only the deafening sound of the rain pelting the foliage around him. He took another deep breath and just as before, thunder boomed overhead as he shouted for his best friend.

Feeling rather disgruntled, he stalked off in the direction he thought he'd seen her run. Care of Magical Creatures always held its surprises and today wasn't an exception. The class had started off enjoyably until Malfoy and his goon squad had made their grand entrance. He and Pansy Parkinson whipped their usual repertoire of pseudo-intellectual insults at the group of Gryffindors, most directed at Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Harry couldn't, for the life of him, understand why the Slytherins would take the advanced version of Hagrid's class. He, Hermione and Ron remained in their friend's class because they wanted to see him succeed as an instructor. They hadn't counted on the prince of Slytherin and his cronies to continue as well.

The class period started uneventfully, the considerably smaller group traveled into the Forbidden Forest to the paddock where Grawp was normally encamped only to find, to everyone's horror, an actual Chimera. Harry remembered Hermione gripping his arm as if her life depended upon their continued contact when something occurred to him; Hermione's boggart was the Chimera, not failing a test.

Hermione wasn't the only frightened student present, Malfoy seemed to have wet himself and Goyle lost all color in his face. Crabbe and Pansy were already halfway back to Hagrid's hut and Ron just stood there with a gaping mouth.

Everything went to hell after the introduction to the dangerous creature. As soon as the thunderstorm hit, a bolt of lightning struck the chains holding the Chimera down and knocked Hagrid unconscious. According to their professor, the Chimera instinctively hunted the one who was most terrified of its presence. With the weakened chains and the beast frantically trying to rid itself of its metal prison, the weakest links snapped, granting its freedom.

Harry suddenly felt Hermione's lessened grip and when he looked to where she was he grimaced at her retreating backside. She was so overcome with fear that she'd shot off randomly into the forest and didn't see that Grawp had knocked the class' subject unconscious. Using his wand, he realized that she was running straight for the Acromantula nest in the middle of the forest and as the rain began to fall, he followed after her at a run.

A flash of lightning and a deafening boom of thunder woke him from his memories of the past few hours and he pushed onward through the underbrush, trying in vain to call Hermione's name. He couldn't believe his luck when the rain began falling harder than it already was and a tremendous wind struck up from nowhere. He moved quickly to a nearby rock wall and found a semi-dry cave behind an outcropping of bushes.

With one last look around, he sighed and climbed through the small opening to a blood curdling scream.

"GET AWAY!" Hermione shouted in a terrified, shrill voice. She blindly began kicking at the face of her best friend who was just able to block a nasty hit to his head.

"HERMIONE!" Harry shouted in response. "Calm down! It's me!"

His voice seemed to snap her out of her hysteria and with trembling hands reached down to help him into the cave, which was more damp and cold than Harry had thought.

"Harry, I'm so sorry," she whimpered as he sat beside her. He felt a warm trickle slide down his temple and cheek. "Let me clear that up," she said tenderly and waved her wand over a gash in the side of his head.

"Why didn't you just tell us that the Chimera is what you're most afraid of?" Harry asked after she'd mended his wound. "Grawp stopped it before it got out of control..."

"I-I didn't know," she said sheepishly. "I didn't say anything because I really didn't think Hagrid would bring one into class..."

"You did seem worried that he'd get his hands on one after the Skrewts..." Harry said with a shrug.

"How could you have known?" she asked quietly.

"Are you ok now?" he asked, changing the subject. "Do you think we could get out of this cave and back to the school?"

"I think so," she admitted. "I'm sorry, Harry, I feel so ashamed..."

"Why should you feel ashamed at meeting your darkest fear head on?" Harry asked concernedly. "Did you think I looked at a Dementor and got over my fear of it just like that?"

"No..."

"Then you shouldn't expect yourself to get over this fear," he said consolingly, stifling a cough. "Come on. Let's get back to the school and into some dry clothes."

Harry exited the cave first followed by Hermione who was immediately blown back against the cliff by the force of the wind.

"YOU LOOKED FOR ME IN THIS?!" she shouted over the roar of the wind, covering her head with the hood of her cloak. Harry simply nodded and took her hand. They fought against the gale force winds and with the help of their wands, stepped onto the school grounds once again. Harry sent up several streams of sparks in different directions before pulling Hermione towards the castle.

"WE'LL LET DUMBLEDORE KNOW WE'RE BACK FIRST!" he shouted hoarsely over the wind and thunder as they half-trotted, half-stumbled to the steps of the castle.

Harry looked up in surprise when he saw Hagrid running down the corridor towards him. "What are you doing in here?" he asked testily as the half-giant reached them.

"I thought yeh might 'ave turned around when the storm got bad," Hagrid said apologetically. "'ow are yeh, 'Ermione?" he asked concernedly.

"I'm fine, Hagrid," she said quietly. "Chimera terrify me," she said in barely a whisper, "sorry I ran off..."

"There's no reason ta 'pologize," Hagrid said concernedly. "Get on up ta the hospital wing, Harry, yeh two look like yeh could use a pepper-up potion."

Harry nodded, too wet, tired and cold to argue. Hermione followed after him as they climbed the stairs and made their way down the corridor to Madam Pomfrey's domain. It didn't take him long to take the potion and the two friends were on their way back to Gryffindor tower.

"I think I'm going to go straight to bed," Harry wheezed as they climbed through the portrait hole. "Are you going to be alright, Hermione?"

"I will be, Harry," she said with a hug. "Thank you for coming after me, I'm sorry you had to..."

"Don't apologize, Hermione," Harry said after clearing his throat. "There was no way I was going to let you wander around the forest on your own. I'm really beat, I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

Hermione nodded and watched Harry skulk up the stairs to his dormitory. As soon as he sat on his bed, he slumped to his side and fell asleep.

* * *

"Harry, wake up, mate..." Ron said gently as he shook Harry's shoulder. "Wake up... you're going to be late for breakfast."

With a groan and a stretch, Harry sat up and looked around the room groggily.

"Why are your clothes all wet, mate?" Ron asked as he finished tying his shoes. "Don't tell me those are the same clothes you wore yesterday!"

Harry nodded that he had then as quickly as his aching muscles would allow, he stripped and dressed in a dry school uniform. He felt dizzy as he stood up so he shook his head slightly to clear it. Harry instantly regretted the motion when it felt like something the size of the castle smacked him upside the head.

"You don't look so good, Harry," Neville said concernedly as he helped his friend steady himself.

"I'll be fine," Harry croaked. "Just sore from running after Hermione and my throat's raw because I was shouting for her. Just need some breakfast."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay in bed?" Neville asked. "I can tell the professors that you're sick..."

"I'm not sick," Harry said with a wince. "I just need to get some food and something to drink."

Neville didn't push the matter further and with a clap on Harry's shoulder left for the Great Hall. Ron filed out next with Harry taking up the rear. He stumbled into the common room and found Hermione sitting patiently in one of the couches. She looked up when he entered the room and a look of concern crossed her face.

"I'm fine, Hermione," his raspy voice said before she could say anything. "I just need something to eat and drink..."

"Are you sure?" she asked as she stepped up to him.

"I'm sure," Harry said with a slight smile. "Besides, there's that project in potions that I can't miss..."

"Try to take it easy today," Hermione said as they descended the stairs towards the Great Hall. "I'm sorry you had to-"

"Will you please stop apologizing for that, Hermione?" he said exasperatedly. "I wasn't about to let you wander the forest... It could have been raining daggers and I would have gone after you."

Hermione smiled softly and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered as they took their customary seats. To his friends' relief, as soon as Harry had some food in him and downed two glasses of pumpkin juice, he looked much better. To Harry, however, looks were deceiving. He knew he was coming down with something but having something to eat did give him a bit of an energy boost.

It wasn't long until they were in Transfiguration and he had no problems with their assignment. Neville's new wand seemed as temperamental as his old one and somehow he ended up transfiguring Harry's shirt into a skirt and a complicated counter involving a doll had to be used to return it back to normal.

"The use of the doll was pure genius!" Hermione crowed as they made their way to charms. "It seemed like a last resort option to me, but Professor McGonagall went straight for it! Brilliant!"

"Who would have thought that a girl's toy could be used in a counter-curse in Transfiguration?" Ron asked with a shake of his head. "I was even surprised that she had a non-transfigured version in her desk!"

"Of course she'd have one on hand!" Hermione countered. "You can't just use one that used to be a dinner roll or a scroll lying about, the actual article has properties a Transfigured version doesn't!"

Harry, however, had tuned out his friends' bickering as he was still feeling flushed with embarrassment. He still couldn't believe he was stuck in front of the entire class with a frilly, lacy mini-skirt over his shoulders like a poncho.

"Harry, are you still embarrassed about that?" Hermione asked quietly as they took their seats in Professor Flitwick's classroom. "At least Malfoy wasn't there or he wouldn't let you live it down."

"Yeah, you're right," Harry said with a shrug. "I'm still not happy about it. I'll be ok."

Hermione smiled softly at him before they turned to their assignment for the day. It was all review for Harry and Hermione, thankfully for him. He was starting to feel a bit groggy again and couldn't wait until lunch. They were working on reducing candlesticks to the size of matches and the pair made short work of their task and turned to help those who were sitting to either side of them.

Ron became impatient when his candlesticks would only shrink at one end, leaving a ridiculous looking piece of wax sitting on his table. He began fanning his wand around wildly in a tantrum and his wand slipped from his hand. Harry sneezed just then, forcing his glasses to the tip of his nose and recoiled when he was struck in the eye. Ron turned towards his grumbling best friend who had his hand pressed over his face.

"Harry, I'm sorry, mate!" Ron blurted as he snatched his wand from the floor. "You should see Madam Pomfrey about that!"

"You'd think my glasses would keep things from poking me in the eye," Harry said through gritted teeth and excused himself from the classroom. "I'll see you guys at lunch," he announced to Hermione and Ron before he left the class.

Madam Pomfrey fixed him up quickly and gave him another pepper-up potion after she'd poured a green, translucent potion in his injured eye. She pronounced him well enough to go to lunch just as the bell sounded and Harry skulked to the Great Hall.

"Honestly, don't you listen to the pronunciations?" Hermione grumbled as Harry sat down. "It's ree-DO-cee-oh, not ree-do-cee-OH!"

"Drop it, Hermione," Ron squeaked from a tiny mouth that he was having trouble fitting any amount of food into. "I used too much polish on my wand and it slipped when I cast the spell properly, but the bloody wand slipped from my hand and hit me in the mouth!"

Harry's mood alleviated somewhat at the squeaky tirade Ron was going through and before he knew it, he was laughing quite hard at his friend's predicament. Hermione had tried to keep from laughing as well, but she was leaning on the table with her hands over her mouth trying to hold back her mirth.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Ron squeaked irritably, eliciting even more laughter from the other Gryffindors and soon some of the other students who had overheard his tantrum. "Fine!" he spat with the frustrating voice of a chipmunk and without another word, got up from the table and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"We really should apologize to him," Harry said with a laugh.

"It serves him right," Hermione snorted with a wide smile on her face. "If he'd keep his temper things like this wouldn't happen!"

Harry shook his head and grabbed a few pieces of fruit. "I'm going to apologize... he didn't laugh when Neville's spell backfired."

"That wasn't nearly as funny," Hermione said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "But you're right, let's go find him."

It didn't take long to find their mutual best friend. Ron was walking out of the infirmary with a normal mouth and after apologies were offered, Harry and Hermione found his voice had returned to normal as well. The redhead continued to glare at his two friends, but eased up considerably when they reached their next class.

"Only two classes, Harry, we can get through potions without a problem then it's Quidditch practice," Ron said, trying to sound cheery.

"Do you see the weather out there, Ron?" Hermione said in disbelief. "It's just as bad, if not worse, than yesterday!"

"We've trained in worse weather," Harry said dismissively as he set out his things for the next hour and a half.

Snape swept into the room, acting his normal self, and waved his wand in front of the blackboard. "Begin," he said curtly and slumped into his chair where he turned his attention to a thick sheaf of parchment.

"An exploding potion?" Hermione whispered with wide eyes and looked nervously to Neville.

"I hope you're not thinking of helping Mr. Longbottom, Miss Granger," Snape said maliciously without looking up. "Though I enjoy taking points from Gryffindor, I think it would be far more entertaining to see if our wonder klutz can do this without killing us all..."

Hermione glowered at the potion master as she began measuring her potion ingredients. Harry thought it wise to follow in Hermione's footsteps and reread the instructions several times before actually working on his potion. This was one thing that he didn't want to mess up.

The entire class walked on eggshells during the double period when around Neville. Even Snape and Malfoy kept their distance and their comments to themselves, which surprised Harry.

He looked into his cauldron and his mood brightened considerably when he noticed the potion was the exact color and consistency it needed to be for proper marks. He ducked under the table to retrieve a flask when he saw a purple flash out of the corner of his eye. He winced, waiting for the explosion to come, but when nothing happened he looked around to find everyone filling their flask with their end product.

Nobody moved from their seats until Neville, who was tiptoeing to the front of the room carrying his flask as if it were about to go off, set his assignment on the desk with a sigh of relief.

"You do realize it's inert in its final form, Mr. Longbottom?" Snape said with a sneer plastered on his face. "Five points from Gryffindor for not reading the instructions."

Harry felt his blood boil as he reached for his ladle and dipped it into his cauldron.

"Ron, is tomorrow Easter?" Hermione asked, shaking Harry's shoulder gently.

"Hermione, I'm trying to fill my flask..." Harry whispered. "Tomorrow's not Easter and I'm not Ron, are you alright?" he asked as he turned to the confused look of his best friend. "Hermione?"

She glanced at him in confusion before she dumped a large pile of crushed beetles into her cauldron. "It still needs something," she said irritably then reached into her bag.

Harry had just finished filling his flask when Hermione stood suddenly, a look of triumph on her face. "I found it!" she said excitedly and quickly chopped her afternoon snack into small pieces. Before Harry could stop her, the apple bits were unceremoniously dumped into her cauldron.

"Hermione, what are you doing?!" Harry hissed as he grabbed her hands.

"The Christmas goose won't be ready without the apples, Harry!" she said in frustration. "Let go so I can put it in the icebox!"

"Professor Snape, there seems to be a problem," Malfoy crowed from his normal seat across the room from Harry. Harry looked up to see a satisfied smirk on the Slytherin's face and a finger pointed to Harry and Hermione.

"What seems to be the problem, Potter?" Snape hissed as he closed in on the struggling friends.

"Something's wrong with Hermione, she seems to think she's making a Christmas goose," Harry said as Hermione finally pulled her hands free.

"Professor Snape wasn't invited to our party!" she hissed at Harry.

Snape quickly waved his wand and his normal pallid face lost even more color. "Someone's cast a Confundus Charm on her," he hissed angrily, his eyes flashing dangerously at Draco Malfoy. "How long has she been like this?"

Harry tried to answer but just as he'd opened his mouth, the bubbling contents of Hermione's cauldron exploded, covering the three of them in a thick, paste that smelled like apple butter but had the wrong consistency.

"What just happened?" Hermione asked in confusion, her hair slick with the drool-like paste that was supposed to be her potion. Realization dawned on her and she leveled an angry glare on the blonde Slytherin.

"MALFOY. OFFICE. NOW!" Snape bellowed. "Miss Granger, it pains me to do this, but you may make up your attempt during detention tonight after dinner while your friend Mr. Potter joins you in cleaning up this mess. DISMISSED!"

Harry and Hermione stalked out of the room after cleaning up their work area. They both made a beeline to the showers in their respective parts of their dormitory and found themselves at dinner shortly afterwards. Detention was cut mercifully short when it was apparent that Snape couldn't stand the sight of both of them by themselves.

The bad luck of this particular Friday the thirteenth at an end, allowed Harry a chance to get to practice somewhat on time. Hermione took her normal spot in the Gryffindor stands, bundled against the wind and rain while Harry went up with the rest of his team in another grueling training session.

"Everyone stop by the Hospital Wing for a pepper-up potion," Ron ordered as they trudged back to the castle in the increased downpour. "We don't need you getting sick two weeks before the match with Slytherin!"

Harry wiped at his increasingly red nose as he and Hermione trudged up the hill to the front doors. He coughed rather loudly and Hermione turned to him in surprise.

"Harry?" she asked concernedly as he turned towards her.

"Whad is id?" he asked curiously. "Oh, by dose is clocket..." he said with a shrug. "Da bebber-ub botion will bake id bedder..."

"I hope so," Hermione said with a frown.

They went straight to Madam Pomfrey who was flitting from teammate to teammate issuing potions to each and every one of them. She looked up to see Harry and Hermione enter and with a roll of her eyes, she walked over to Harry with a tray that held a goblet.

"Really, Mr. Potter, you'd think that two of them would have kept you from getting ill, it looks like the third is going to be the charm. After you finish this, you are to go straight to your room, change into something warm and dry then go straight to bed!"

"Yes Badab Bobfrey," Harry said with a sniffle. He tossed back the offered potion and felt his sinuses clear almost immediately.

"That's better," he said with a deep breath and a cough. "Ugh, I think some of that bad potion went up my nose," Harry said with a grimace as they left the infirmary.

Hermione looked at him concernedly when he wobbled on the stairs and without asking permission, draped his arm over her shoulder for support. "I'll help you," she said in a Molly Weasley tone of voice that told him not to argue and the two of them made their way to Harry's room. Once there, he followed orders, and went straight to bed after changing into dry pajamas. As soon as his head hit the pillow his eyes drifted shut and he fell asleep.

* * *

Harry was out of bed bright and early the next day feeling worse than he had in a long time. He stood and as soon as his eyes focused on the light streaming in through his bedroom window, he let loose a great sneeze that threw his glasses from his face and woke the others from deep sleep.

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron growled from his bed. "You scared the life out of me!"

"Sorry," Harry said through his congestion as he retrieved his glasses and slipped them on his face. They immediately slid down the bridge of his nose and he rolled his eyes in frustration before he got dressed. "Rod, I'b goink to da hosbidal wink..." he said, feeling pitiful in his current state. "I dote feel well..." At Ron's irritated grumble, Harry left the room.

As long as he could remember, Harry truly despised his cousin's oversized hand-me-downs and he growled in frustration as he adjusted the sleeves of his shirt and slouched slightly when he realized that he had to roll his pant legs up as well.

Hermione looked up from her book when Harry slunk into the room, looking more miserable than she'd ever seen him. "I guess you're not feeling any better?" Hermione asked, her voice laced with sympathy.

Harry shook his head but smiled appreciatively at her concern. "I'b goink to da hosbidal wink..." he said irritably.

"Want me to go with you?" she asked with a slight smile.

"Dat would be gread," Harry said, mustering a smile as she put down her book and stepped up beside him.

"You don't have to slouch, Harry," Hermione said with a slight laugh. "It's not as if you're dying or anything."

Harry chuckled slightly and drew himself up to his full height after they'd climbed through the portrait hole and started on their way. "How's dat?"

"You could stand up straight and not tease me," she said with a laugh as Harry's face became illuminated by a shaft of light from a window. Hermione reached into her pocket and withdrew a handkerchief before Harry could sneeze.

He took it just in time as he let out a roar of a sneeze again. "I'll just keeb dis," he said with a laugh and pocketed the soiled cloth. He grumbled when his sleeves slipped further down his arms and he quickly rolled them up again.

"Harry?" Hermione asked cautiously as he went to work on his pants.

"Whad is it?" he asked as he stood and looked her in the eyes.

"There's something strange going on... why are your clothes so baggy?" she asked nervously.

"Dere by cousin's," he grumbled as he turned towards the staircase. "Dey were da first dinks I could fid..."

"Since when did Dudley go to Hogwarts?" Hermione asked as she reached for his shoulder. "And why am I eye level with you?"