Their Seventh Year

Good Morning!  I am tired and this chapter is fluffy.  Have a good day!

Chapter 37- Flying and Falling

“I suppose you’re just taking that broom for a walk James? Before you actually focus and do some studying?”

James looked guilty as Lily’s voice cut across the common room. She had been hidden by the back of the chair she was sitting in and he had hoped he was going to sneak out without being seen. NEWTS were still weeks away after all, but from the way Lily was acting you’d think they were tomorrow. He wanted to do well on his NEWTS as well, he had to if he wanted to be an Auror, but studying every single moment wasn’t the way to go about it. After all, it was good to relax a bit too or he’d just go crazy. And that was what he was planning as he set out to the Quidditch pitch with Sirius and Remus and Peter.

“Um, yeah, I’ll be back in a few minutes…” He muttered, dodging out the portrait hole.

“Potter, as your friend, I think I should mention something.” Sirius said gravely. “You are so completely whipped.”

“The sad thing is, I think he knows that and doesn’t even mind.” Peter agreed.

And James decided he didn’t.

They spent a good hour on the Quidditch pitch, just tossing around the quaffle. There had been a time when James had been disappointed that none of his friends were on the team with him, but Sirius didn’t have the attention span or discipline for the daily practices, Remus would have been conspicuously absent from practices too often, and Peter probably wouldn’t have made it through the try-outs. All three of them were pretty decent flyers if you were just out to have fun.

It was just getting dark when he spotted the bright red hair of his girlfriend, who was standing at the edge of the pitch, shading her eyed against the setting sun.

“Oy, Lily, think fast!” Sirius cried, and threw the quaffle in her direction. James was ready to knock him off his broom for it, but Lily caught the ball easily.

“I came to tell you all that it’s dinner time.” She said mildly.

“Brilliant, I’m starving.”

While all of his friends hopped off their brooms and headed in the direction of the castle, James remained hovering a few feet above Lily. Something had just occurred to him, when she caught the quaffle.

“James, are you coming?”

“You know Lily, I’ve never seen you fly.”

“Of course you have. In first year, we all learned.”

He frowned. That was true, of course, but he couldn’t for the life of him bring up a picture of an eleven-year-old Lily on a broom. At the time, he had probably only been interested in showing off and showing up all the other boys, he wouldn’t have had the time or inclination to pay any attention to a girl.

He knew she liked Quidditch. Perhaps not quite as much as he liked Quidditch, but she was enthusiastic about watching all the school games.

“All right, first year. But I’ve never seen you fly since then.” He insisted.

“Well, why would you?” She shrugged. “Come on, aren’t you hungry?”

She seemed to be a little too anxious to change the subject. He stayed a few feet above her, frowning at her thoughtfully.

“Lily, are you afraid of heights?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

He grinned, she said that way too quickly and sounded way too panicked.

“You are!”

“James!” She put her hands on her hips. “Stop being silly, come on!”

He came down to where she stood and held out a hand.

“One circle around the pitch and we’ll go in.”

“No way Potter, forget it, I’ve seen how you fly that broom, you’re insane.”

“I’ll go slowly, and straight, I promise!”

“I don’t like flying.”

“Because you’re afraid of it. Come on. You won’t fall. I Promise.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust James, it was that she didn’t trust flying broomsticks. She had come to accept that magical world. She had come to accept people disappearing one place and reappearing instantly in another. She had come to accept birds turning into water glasses and people turning into animals. She was even a Quidditch fan, but somehow flying on broomsticks seemed too much like a muggle cliché. Besides, though she would never admit it, she was a little scared of heights.

It was pretty obvious James was not going to give up on this idea.

“Just once around the pitch. And you’ll go slow? And straight?”

He nodded seriously.

Reluctantly, she climbed onto the broom and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling slightly sick.

True to his word, he started out slowly, and she actually cracked open one of her tightly closed eyes. This isn’t so bad.

Then they began to pick up a little speed, and she pressed her face into his shoulder. “Uh…James? Slow down.”

He said something in response, but she could barely hear him over the rushing air, they were going quite fast now.

“What?”

“I said trust me Lily.” He yelled back, and then took a sudden turn upwards, taking them higher, away from the stands and the quidditch pitch. Lily gave a shriek and tightened her grip around his waist.

“James!”

“Oh, we’re not that high!”

They continued to climb, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Lil, open your eyes! Look how pretty it is!”

Reluctantly, knowing he wouldn’t go down until she did, she cracked open one eye, only to press it shut again when she saw they were on a level with wispy clouds. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she tried again. They were high above Hogwart’s grounds, the Quidditch pitch was visible as an expanse of green, and from so high the waves on the lake were invisible and it was flat and silver and shining in the fading light. The castle looked like one of the hazy fairy tale castles one saw in muggle fairy tale books, its flags snapping in the breeze. It was, as James said, beautiful. Lily took a sharp breath, and felt a vibration as James chuckled, understanding her reaction. Both of her eyes were open now, and strangely, she didn’t feel sick. Really, the broom was much more comfortable than it looked, and much more comfortable than she remembered from first year, and James was comfortingly solid. They were so high that it was surreal, like being in an airplane, so that it hardly felt real enough to be scary. The ground was indistinct and distant. She felt surprisingly light, and…free. She wondered if this was why James loved flying so much. She never would have believed it, but she was almost sorry as they came back down. When she stumbles off the back of his broom, she was grinning.

“That was brilliant! Can we do it again? Can I steer?”

“I thought you wanted dinner. I do, I’m starving.”

“But-“

“Lily, I’ll teach you to fly if you want, but seriously…dinner!”

“I would like some lessons, but I liked flying with you.”

He grinned, then tugged her hand. “Dinner?”

Lily sighed. “Men.”

###

Sirius was bored. Not that it was such an unusual occurrence, but usually he could convince James to help him entertain himself. But James, and all the other Gryffindor Seventh Years, were studying for NEWTS. Sirius figured he had done just fine on his OWLS without studying, and didn't see why this should be any different. The Gryffindor Fifth Years in the Common Room were having anxiety attacks of their own, and finally, there was just too much stress around him. Sirius ventured outside for amusement. It was only about half-past seven, not yet entirely dark, and the perfect temperature.

He wasn't the only one who had that idea. Vaguely aware that there was something a little creepy and stalker-like about it, he followed her anyway, from a safe distance. Halfway around the lake, she took a seat beneath a large tree.

Resolutely, he joined her, feeling some of the residual anger from their last encounter on seeing her.

"I thought I asked you to leave me alone."

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Why yes, it is a lovely evening. And how are you?" When she ignored this, he sighed. "You did ask me to leave you alone, but you never gave me a reason."

"The only reason you're harassing me is because your best friend has gotten himself a girlfriend and you're feeling bored, or abandoned, or whatever. And that's not a good enough reason for me to waste my time."

He was taken aback. There were several things to say to this, but the first one that came out was "How do you know who my best friend is and how would you have any clue about his love life?"

She waved a hand impatiently. "James Potter and Lily Evans are the Head Boy and Girl, I'm not completely oblivious to their existence."

"Oh." He frowned. "Well, you're wrong. I'm happy for James, I really like Lily, and they're great for each other."

"She's very pretty."

"Who, Lily?"

"No Professor McGonagall." She snapped back. "Of course Evans, who were we talking about?"

"So we're talking again?"

She frowned. "No. I don't want to be friends with you Black."

"You still haven't given me a decent reason."

She didn't look at him, but pulled absently at the grass. "You make me uncomfortable."

He had no idea what to say to that. "Why? I'm an easygoing guy."

She shook her head. "No, you're not, no matter how hard you try to pass yourself off as one."

He really had no idea what she meant by that, but it didn't seem he was going to find out, because she stood and brushed grass off her skirt. "Didn't it occur to you I might have wanted to be alone?"

Irritated, he stood as well. "Well, life's tough, we don't always get what we want."

She narrowed her eyes. "And what do you want from me?"

Sirius wasn't even sure if he was trying to shut her up, make her more angry, or demonstrate an answer to the question she had just asked, but he did something stupid.

He kissed her.

Sirius was used to being in control in these situations, but this time he felt like he was losing control, like he was falling. But in some corner of his mind, he registered that she kissed him back, before she suddenly pushed away from him. For a split second he was sure she was going to slap him, but then she just took several steps back, looking horrified.

"Why..... Leave me alone, I can't do this..."

She turned and ran back in the direction of the castle.

###

“Flora?”

She was sitting on the couch in the common room, books all around, but she was frowning hard, as if she was thinking, and she didn’t hear Remus the first time he said her name.

“Flora.” He waved his charms book under her nose. “Can you quiz me on these incantations? I always get them mixed up.”

Actually, he rarely got them mixed up, but you could never be too careful when it came to exams.

She smiled vaguely at him. “Sure.” But the book remained unopened in her lap. “Graduation is coming up pretty soon.”

He nodded. “But we still have some things left.” He added a gentle hint. “Like exams.”

“Mm.”

He took the space next to her. “Is there, by any chance, something on your mind?”

“What are you planning to do after Hogwarts?”

He sighed. He had been trying not to think about it too much, though it was hard to avoid with all the Seventh Years thinking about it. James was going to be an Auror, and Sirius was planning on going the same way, though Remus suspected that had something to do with sticking it to his family as much as protecting the wizarding public. Lily was going to the Ministry in , and even Peter was talking about getting a job at the Ministry or somewhere in Diagon Alley. Remus knew that with his excellent grades and test scores it would be no trouble for him to get a job, but he knew it would be hard to keep a job when his employer guessed what his cyclical “illnesses” meant. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure it out.

“I’d like to do some kind of research.” He admitted thoughtfully. “You know, for the Ministry or something. But I don’t reckon I’ll last too long once they figure out. Well, it’s going to be hard.”

“That’s so stupid.”

He shrugged. “I have to be realistic.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “Why all of a sudden asking? Are you worried about it?”

She sighed. “I have to tell you something.”

That didn’t sound good. When someone announced they had to tell you something rather than just coming out and telling you, it was always bad.

“I applied to Ministry things too, like Lily.  I’d kind of like to study medicine.” She said quietly. “My grades aren’t as good as hers I know, but both of my parents are so smart, and my sister, so it’s sort of like I have to. I know I’m not as smart as them, but…”

He hated when she did that, she was perfectly smart, and he had told her so a million times.

“…But I actually got into one of the programmes, and my Mum…”

“Flora that’s great! Why didn’t you tell-“

“It’s in .”

“Oh.”

It was true that he had not given much thought to what would happen after graduation, but he had unconsciously assumed she would be around. Studying meant three or four years that she would be gone. She could visit, and come back for holidays, but it seemed like those sort of long-distance relationships never worked.

“It was stupid to even apply there, I don’t know why I did. I’m not going to go.” She announced vehemently.

He wanted to agree with that, so say that of course she shouldn’t go, she should stay right here in , but he couldn’t do it in good conscience.

“Don’t just dismiss it. It’s a really good opportunity.”

She turned on him suddenly. “Do you want me to leave?”

Remus shook his head, wondering how he had gone wrong.

“Of course not. But I want what’s best for you, not me. And maybe what’s best for you is taking an opportunity for higher education. I don’t want you to give that up for me.”

Suddenly he wondered if he had overstepped. What if she wasn’t even thinking about him? What if she didn’t want to leave her family? Or her friends? What if her reluctance had nothing to do with him?

“What if I want to give it up for you?” She snapped.

He forced himself to take his arm back. “You’re not thinking about this logically-“

“You can’t always be logical!”

“When you’re planning your future you have to be!” He insisted. “You shouldn’t give anything up for me. Don’t invest too much in this Flora. You could meet someone else who’s-“

Her look stopped him. “I’m going to go upstairs now, because I really don’t want to talk to you just now. You really need to get over this goddamn martyr complex you’ve got.”