Unofficial Portkey Archive

Seeing Beyond by MichelleRadcliffe
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Seeing Beyond

MichelleRadcliffe

Title: Seeing Beyond

Author: Michelle

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I'm not gonna say it! No, you can't make me...NO YOU WOULDN'T, chases friends around the room. Okay, okay...I...don't...own...Daniel or Harry. (Sobs loudly)

Type: One-Shot (Hermiones' POV)

Pairing: Harry and Hermione

Summary: Cho will never see beyond his good looks or impressive quidditch skills. She'd see him as the boy-who-lived forever. I saw him for who he was, a boy becoming a man, a boy who was braver than anybody I've known my whole life. She would never see that. Never.

A/N: I was inspired to write this while listening to the radio. I thought it was pretty good so I decided to share it with all of you.

Seeing Beyond

I walked silently up to the common room. You see, I had just walked in on Harry and Cho. They'd been dating steadily so far this year. What has it been? Six years already? It all started with a crush I'd developed over summer after first year. I tried and tried to get over it before I came back to school. I thought I had, but the second I saw his face on that train, those emerald green eyes...I knew, it would never go away. Second year was a bittersweet year.

Thankfully no girl had caught Harry's eye yet, let alone me. Hermione Granger, best friend. That's all I was to him. Not that it was a small role, God no. I just wanted more. By third year I was trying so hard to get over what I thought was a silly school-girl crush, and often resorted to making myself believe I liked Ron...but that didn't help, no, not at all. Maybe even made it worse. That night in third year when we met Sirius Black... When we used the time turner, when we were waiting.

I remember it so vividly, it was so awkward. This was my chance, my chance to get this off my chest, to tell him how I feel. But, no, I couldn't work up the nerve. I really should have been in Ravenclaw. Forth year, forth year was horrible. Harry finally had a girl who was all he thought about...Cho Chang. I remember hating her so much, it just wasn't fair. She didn't comfort him when he was in pain, she didn't calm him down when he was angry or sad. She didn't do anything, nothing. Except flaunt about and play with his feelings. I hated her. I hate her. She took my Harry away from me.

I haven't talked to him all day today. Not once, Ron has even noticed that Harry hasn't been around. Forth year, forth year was the year I fell in love with my best friend. Fifth year... Oh, fifth year was bad. For him and for me. He didn't talk about Cho much which you'd think was good for me, but it wasn't. He didn't talk much at all. He was having nightmares about the Department of Mysteries. Harry couldn't even play Quidditch. Being his best friend I know that he flew to get away, get away from the pain, the work, and the heartache. I saw him slowly get worse and worse until he fell into a black hole.

That night at the Department of Mysteries, he still blames himself, maybe not entirely anymore, but inside, I can see it. Cho will never see that. Sirius died. I was there for him, and so was Ron, but he just wouldn't talk about it. I sent him letter after letter trying to get some kind of response from him. Hedwig finally just stayed at my house for the rest of that summer. She'd go and see every couple of days to see if Harry would open the window for her. One day, he did, with a reply. He said he was fine and not to worry. Now, did you believe that? I didn't.

I tried to get him to talk about it, sending him letters every other day, but I got the same response every time, I'm fine, don't worry. I wanted to walk over there and strangle a real response out of him. I so badly wanted to tell him how I felt. All summer I wondered what he'd think if I'd write it in one of my letters. I realized that he didn't need anymore stress on him now. By the beginning of sixth year I was through trying to get over him. I was determined to tell him how I felt.

Then it happened. Harry had mustered up some of that Gryffindor courage and asked Cho out. She said yes. They have been going out for three weeks today. Three weeks, 14 hours, 21 minutes and 13 seconds. Pathetic huh? I will never forget the look on his face when he came bursting through the portrait hole. He was smiling a smile that made me melt, yet made me sad at the same time, knowing the smile wasn't because of me.

He had gotten considerably better in the Sirius department. He wasn't so depressed anymore and he could say his name without flinching or stuttering. But, I could see, he still blamed himself for everything that had happened last year. Cho would never see what wasn't shoved in front of her face. Cho would never see past Harrys' good looks or his impressive quidditch skills. She'd see him as the boy-who-lived forever.

He was so happy, and I wanted to be happy for him, but I couldn't. I heard him call my name from downstairs, to tell me what happened. As much as I longed to see his face again I didn't want to hear it. I walked back into the dormitories and walked to the window seat. I watched the rain fall outside the window. I remember crying myself to sleep that night. I was in love, I knew it. If only I could tell him. But, I couldn't. He was with Cho and Cho made him happy. Remembering all this I climbed into my bed and fell asleep, on Harry and Chos' three week anniversary with tears flowing down my face.

I woke up that morning, dried tears still visible on my face. I got dressed and brushed my untameable hair. I walked downstairs thanking the Lord that today was Saturday and there were no classes. I climbed out of the portrait hole after having no luck finding Ron. I made my way to the great hall thinking maybe today would go better than yesterday had. I was wrong. There Harry was, Cho at his side. They were laughing. Harry stopped, as did Cho. They were staring at each other intently. I saw him lean in. She met him half way. I ran out of the great hall. Forgetting completely about breakfast, which didn't matter because I wasn't hungry anymore anyway.

I ran to the common room, tears streaming down my face. Hoping to God I wouldn't run into anyone. Thankfully I didn't. I muttered 'phoenix' when I got to the fat lady portrait that lead to the common room. I climbed inside, ready to try and sleep the day away. No such luck would come my way today. There was Ron sitting on the couch in the common room. Apparently waiting for somebody. I tried to just walk past but he called my name. Reluctantly I turned around and headed over to him. "Sit." He said simply.

I sat on the chair across from him, waiting for him to explain. I looked at him questioningly. "What is going on with you, Hermione?" He asked firmly. I muttered 'nothing, nothing at all.' Hoping he'd let it go. I got up and felt him push me back down. "Hermione, something is wrong and you're not leaving here until you tell me what." He said in a firmer voice yet. I would not talk about this now. I got back up and pushed him down, running for the dormitories.

Thankfully I got to the top. I heard Rons' voice calling up the stairs. I would not talk about this. Tears still streaming down my face I curled up in the window seat. I woke up about an hour later and decided to go to the library. No chance of seeing Harry and Cho there. I ran all the way there and calmed before opening the door and muttering a quick 'hello' to the librarian whose name escapes me at the moment. I quickly made my way to the back of the library and settled down. I grabbed a random book from the shelf and realized I'd read it three times already. I grabbed another one and realized I'd read that one too. I sighed and heard someone walk into the library. I quickly realized it couldn't be Harry so I just settled back down and looked through the books and found one that I hadn't read yet.

I flipped to the first page and started reading when I felt a presence. I quickly closed the book. My eyes got wide as I realized who was standing in front of me. Harry Potter. I quickly stood up. "So, Hermione, what's going on?" He asked casually. I couldn't lie to him, I just couldn't. "I like someone who doesn't like me back." I said casually in response. Harry's face fell but was back to a grin so quickly I was sure I'd imagined it. He smirked. "Well, tell me who it is and I'm sure I can help you snag him." He said with a laugh.

I blushed. "Well, he's in our year." I said, smiling. "Our house?" He asked, thinking hard. "Do I know him?" He asked. I nodded. "Is he our friend?" He asked again. I nodded again. "Ron?" He asked with a smirk. "No, why would you think that?" I smirked. "Well, in third year, it seemed like you liked him. I know he fancied you." I was taken aback for a moment. He noticed? "Again, no." I said. He started naming off random people until he only had two more people to guess. This was it; I was incredibly nervous and also relieved that this would all be off my chest soon. "Neville?" He asked, his brow furrowed. I stayed silent. "Neville?!" He asked again, raising an eyebrow at me. I smiled. "Nope." I said simply. He looked at me confused.

"Well, if he's in our house and our year than I named everyone. It IS a boy, right." He added as a joke, laughing. I smacked him on the arm. "Harry!" I said rolling my eyes. "Well, then I've named everyone." He said, his smile fading. "Not everyone." I said, raising an eyebrow at him. He stopped abruptly. He raised an eyebrow and his voice came out as more of a squeak when he pointed to himself and asked, "Me?" He asked uncertainly. I stopped and made my way in front of him. I pushed his chin up to look at me. "I am in love with YOU, Harry Potter." I said smiling. Before he could say anything I walked away, leaving a statue version of Harry. I got halfway back to the common room when I heard someone running behind me.

"Hermione!" I heard him call behind me. Feeling relief that I'd held up since second year I had the courage to face him. I stopped and turned around. He caught up and stopped. "Hermione?" He asked. "hmm?" I replied and started walking. He walked alongside me and we walked to the rest of the way back to the common room. "Did you really mean what you said back there?" He motioned up the stairs to the library. I nodded. "Hermione?" He asked again. "hmm?" I replied to him again. He stopped and I turned around to face him. He was looking at the floor. He looked up and before I knew it his lips were pressed against mine.

Cho would never know how good I felt back there. Not ever.

-->