To Make Him Smile

She sighed as she watched the hand in her watch slowly tick. She couldn't sleep and knew she wasn't going about to anytime soon. She was too worried to sleep, (and it had nothing to do with the fact that she had an Arithmancy test in a few hours.) She was worried about Harry. He barely spoke two words this summer and she knew that he was having nightmares about Sirius and the Department of Mysteries. Midnight. She dropped her hand from above her and it landed with a plop muffled by her squashy mattress. Frustrated, she threw the blankets off and torn open the curtain of her four poster.

Lavender Brown grunted in her sleep at the sudden noise, Hermione didn't care. She was jealous that Lavender was able to sleep peacefully while she was haunted by insomnia. Hermione carefully padded across the room, shivering as her bare feet slapped the cold floor. She wanted to run as fast as she could out into the common room to warm up; but she walked slowly, not wanting to disturb her dorm mates again. When she finally reached the door, she opened it slowly, pushed her way through and closed is tight.

She moved down two steps when she saw him. He was thrown on the couch, his arm resting on his forehead. His eyes were closed, but they twitched as the light of the dying embers in the fireplace flickered across them; Hermione knew he was awake. The sight of him lying there, pale and sweaty, made her want to run to him. She wanted to help him, comfort him, but most of all, she wanted to love him. Hermione blinked. She didn't love Harry…did she? She knew she felt strongly for him but love? She suddenly felt dizzy. She stumbled on the step and grabbed the rail to keep herself from falling. The sudden noise in the silent room made Harry's eyes snap open.

"Hermione?" he croaked blindly in the direction of the girl's dormitory. Hermione paused. The part of the stairs where she was standing was engulfed in darkness and she knew Harry couldn't see her.

She had two options.

One: she could run back to bed before Harry saw her and ignore her new feelings for her friend.

Or two: She could go downstairs, try and comfort her friend and make a fool of herself. Her logic was telling her to run. Her leg muscles twitched, ready to creep up the stairs.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice called her again. Suddenly, all her logic was gone and her emotions moved her feet down the stairs.

"Y-yes Harry, it's me," she stuttered stepping off the last step and into the light.

She saw him more clearly now. His skin was paler than she thought and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep. How about you?" she asked, crossing the room and sitting in the armchair closet to the couch. Harry hesitated before he answered.

"Me neither." Hermione looked at him sadly for a moment; she could practically feel the grief coming off of him.

"Harry," she began slowly. "What's wrong?"

She was an idiot.

"You miss him don't you?" Idiot! Idiot! IDIOT! Her mind shrieked at her. Harry slowly nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked awkwardly. Harry shook his head again and the room eased into an uncomfortable silence.

"There are some things that I would have only been able to tell Sirius." His words stung Hermione. She knew she was a difficult person to deal with and she knew he got angry and annoyed with her at times, but she thought that she could tell her anything. She stared into the fire for a minute concentrating hard to stop the flow of tears that were threatening to fall. She stood up abruptly and avoided his eyes.

"Well, um, I'll be going back to bed I guess. If you need to talk Harry, I'm here," she said curtly and trying to get to the stairs as quickly as she could.

"Hermione wait! I'm sorry that didn't come out right, I mean I didn't mean it-" His voice died away as Hermione turned and walked stiffly back to her chair.

"That's ok." she sighed. Harry opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. Hermione looked expectantly at him.

"Harry?"

With a heavy sigh, Harry finally spoke. "It's my fault."

He gritted his teeth as he spoke. Hermione was taken aback by his sudden harshness.

"No! No it's not your fault Harry!" she said rushing out of the chair and sitting next to him on the couch.

"Yes it is! I got Sirius killed and the others hurt and – I almost lost you," he finished in a whisper. Hermione felt overwhelmed with emotion.

"Harry, it's ok. I'm all right," She said tenderly taking his hand in her own.

"No, I almost got you killed," he said his face darkening.

"You did not!" She said firmly.

"If I hadn't dragged you down there-"

"Dragged us down there!? Harry we had to force you to let us come!" She cried.

"Still, I cost Sirius his life," He said turning his head so Hermione wouldn't see the sudden emotion in his eyes.

"Harry listen to me please! It's not your fault! It's nobody's fault but Voldemort's!" she said. Harry remained silent for a minute while Hermione waited holding her breath. Finally, Harry nodded and turned to her.

“Thank you," he said his voice hoarse.

Hermione stared into his eyes; they were bright with unshed tears. It was then she noticed just how close they were. She felt his shaky breath. They stared at each other for a long time, and ever so slowly, they inched closer to each other. Hermione felt wonderfully suffocated. What was happening? Just yesterday he was Harry – just Harry and now, he's so much more; he's Harry.

Then it hit her. It was never just Harry. He meant more to her than her own life. Her eyes fluttered shut and the small gap between them closed. The kiss was chaste, but it was filled with more emotion than any other kiss in the world. Slowly and reluctantly, Harry pulled away. Hermione opened her eyes fearful she had just imagined it. Harry was looking back at her; his eyes no longer filled with grief – but love.

He was smiling, something he hadn't done in months. "Goodnight Hermione," he whispered standing up.

"Goodnight Harry," she replied, rising off the couch. She didn't want to leave him just yet, but she noticed that he had yawned several times in the last few minutes. She knew he hadn't had a good night sleep in months and now he could rest peacefully. She too was feeling exhausted. They silently walked back to their respected dormitories feeling happier than they've had been for awhile.

Slipping under the covers, Hermione began to drift off as soon as she hit the pillow. She slept peacefully knowing that she was the one that could make him smile.