The Mirror of Erised Returns
A/N: Okay, so I know most of you are wondering why I'm writing this fic, when I haven't finished The Deepest Love, yet. This fic has just been stuck in my head and I figure the sooner I get it out, then the sooner I can continue on with my other story.
I'm really nervous writing this, because it's the first h/hr fic I've written, and I'm not sure how I'm doing with Harry's character. So please, tell me what I can do to improve! ( I definitely need it!)
Chapter One -The Mirror
Does it ever go away? That painful, depressing, ever-present ache that you feel in the pit of your stomach after you've lost someone that meant so much to you. This feeling seems to have taken up permanent residence in my stomach, since the moment I lost my godfather, Sirius Black. I've been waiting all summer for it to go away, or at least fade a bit. But let me tell you, it seems to get worse everyday.
I know that for the rest of my life, I will feel guilty because of the fact that Sirius died. It was my fault, and nothing that Ron, Hermione, or Dumbledore says, will change that fact. If I hadn't acted so rashly, if only I had listened to Hermione, my Godfather would still be alive today. She was right, I suppose I do have a bit of a 'Saving People Thing.' I guess that's what others might call a 'Hero Complex.' The irony of it all, is my 'Saving People Thing', is actually what got Sirius killed.
I've felt so alone this summer, not that I haven't been showered with letters, mind you. Hermione has written me a letter every day this summer, and I've only responded a handful of times, but she doesn't seem to mind. In her letters, she always asks me how I'm feeling, about Sirius and everything. Part of me wants to tell her to mind her own damned business, and the other part of me wants to hug her for being so concerned. Ron's written me a few times, even invited me to the Burrow once he got Dumbledore's approval, but I'd declined. I hadn't wanted to spend the summer with Ron awkwardly asking me if I wanted to talk about Sirius, and with his Mrs, Weasley constantly asking me if I was alright, while trying to shove third and fourth helpings of dinner down my throat. I didn't want to spend the summer with the twins running around playing endless pranks in an effort to cheer me up. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a while, so I'd stayed at the Dursley's.
Unsurprisingly, Uncle Vernon had heeded the Order's threats, and had treated me considerably better than he had in the past. I was no longer required to do the cooking, or the cleaning, and they just about let me alone. So for the most part, I just sit in my room sulking.
I'm going to have to face Ron and Hermione again. Ron's going to expect me to talk about quidditch and play chess all the time, and Hermione's going to pester me about school work. No one's going to bloody understand that I just want to be left alone.
The only time I've left the Dursley's was when a few members from the Order took me shopping in Diagon alley, about a week ago. I had to pick up all my supplies fort he start of next year. I had to get loads of new books, new robes, potions supplies, and food for Hedwig.
I'm sitting in the front yard with my Hedwig and my trunk, waiting for the Order to escort me to King's Cross. Looking down the street, I see Mrs. Figg hobbling slowly toward me. I remember last summer how surprised I was when I found out that she was a squib. I sigh, because I just know that she's going to give her condolences about Sirius.
"Hello, Harry." She says when she's finally reached me. I give her a small smile in return.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about Sirius, and that it's not your fault." I just stare back at her, knowing it was useless to disagree.
"Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk." She said, before beginning to hobble down the street again at the same, slow pace. A few minutes later, I get startled when I hear a few pops, and look up to see a few members of the Order standing next to me. It's Remus, Tonks, and Moody. Moody give me a dry chuckle.
"What have I told you about keepin' on your toes, boy?" He asks gruffly, and I roll my eyes.
"Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks says, with a bright smile. I try to give her a smile back, but I'm afraid it ended up looking more like a grimace.
"Alright, Harry?" Remus asks, with a concerned look in his eyes. I nod. Moody takes out a can of peanuts and holds it in front of him. I assume it's a portkey. We all place a finger on it, and soon I feel that uncomfortable jerk below my navel. The next thing I know, I'm at King's Cross, with hundreds of people bustling around me.
***
Sitting in the first compartment I found, a part of me wishing that Ron and Hermione don't come looking, yet another part of me will be thoroughly put out if they don't.
A few minutes later, the compartment door slides open, and Hermione appears. When she sees me, she lets out a little squeal and launches herself into my lap.
"I'm so glad to see you!" She says, while smothering my cheeks with kisses. I can feel my face become heated with a blush. Since when had Hermione become so affectionate towards me? Suddenly, she seems to realize what she had been doing and jumped back, a deep red flush now spreading across her own cheeks. I would've laughed, had the situation not been so awkward.
"Sorry, Harry, I'm just so happy to see you! How are you doing? How was your summer? Did you do all of the homework assignments? Have you heard from the Order? How about Dumbledore? Why didn't you come to The Burrow this summer? It wasn't the same without you." She said all this in such rapid succession, it's a wonder she didn't faint from the lack of air. Luckily, Ron chose that moment to walk in, and in doing so he saved me from answering her seemingly endless questions.
"Hey, mate!" He says brightly, while grinning at me.
"Harry, I really think we need to talk about your feelings regarding Sirius." Hermione said cautiously. Ron scowled at her viciously.
"Hermione, leave him alone! He's not been hear ten minutes and you're bombarding him about his feelings like this is some therapy session or something!" Hermione frowned at him.
"That's because Harry really needs to discuss this, and we're his best friends, Ron."
"What kind of best friend rubs it in someone's nose that his Godfather died? Just let him alone, already!" Hermione opened her mouth to reply but I interrupt her.
"Look, Hermione, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm fine. Honestly." I say, while giving her a small smile. She doesn't look even the slightest bit convinced, but she decides to let the issue drop.
The three of sit in a companionable silence for a while, until Hermione glances at her watch and announces that she and Ron should be heading over to the Prefect's compartment for the meeting. They leave, and I'm left alone with my thoughts for the remainder of the train ride.
***
Later on, at the Welcoming Feast, The Sorting has just finished. Gryffindor gained ten first years, who are all sitting there looking apprehensively around the Great Hall. I smile slightly, because I can remember feeling the same way when I first arrived at Hogwarts. Someone gives me a tap on the shoulder, and I turn around. It was Professor Mcgonagall.
"Good evening, Mr. Potter. The Headmaster would like to see you in his office after the feast. The password is: Hershey Kisses"
***
After the feast, I approach the gargoyle and mutter the password. After ascending the spiral staircase I give a brief knock on the door, before entering.
"Hello, Harry. How was your summer?" Dumbledore asks in a pleasant voice. I just glare coldly at him because I'm still upset about all the information he's withheld from me for all these years. Not seeming to notice my stare, he points to an armchair in front of his desk and I take a seat.
"Would you like a Hershey Kiss, Harry. There this ingenious muggle candy from The States. Absolutely delicious." I shake my head 'no'.
"How about a lemon drop?" I decline again and he shrugs, while popping both the Hershey Kiss and the lemon drop into his mouth at the same time. He makes a face.
"Well, that was a peculiar combination." He said, while reaching for a glass of water. He then turns to face me with a solemn look.
"How have you been doing, Harry?" I glare at him.
"I've just lost my godfather, and it's all my fault. How do you think I'm feeling?" He sighs.
"Harry, what happened to Sirius is not your fault, and the sooner you realize this, the better you will feel." He says calmly.
"Yes it is!" I practically shout, and can feel my cheeks flush with anger.
"I can't believe you have the nerve to sit there and tell me what to do, and how you think that I will feel once I do it! You don't have any clue, what this summer has been like, so don't even pretend like you do!"
"Well, then tell me about it, Harry." He says softly. The sadness in his blue eyes just seems to anger me more.
"Oh, no, I'm not getting into this with you!" I say while standing up hastily. "I'm sick of you people trying to get me to talk about my feelings! Just leave me the bloody hell alone!" I shout while storming out of his office.
***
Once I get back to the Gryffindor common room, march straight up the steps to the boy's dormitories without saying a word to Hermione and Ron, who were staring at me from their seats on the couch.
I violently wrap the hangings of the four poster around my bed, and fling into it. The crying starts immediately. This is one of the things I hate most about grief. The crying. It comes on suddenly, and you have no control over it, and it makes you're eyes red, and your nose gets stuffy, and you get a headache. The worst part about it is the fact that you don't feel the slightest bit better when you're finished. After I finally get control of my emotions, I fall into a troubled sleep.
I wake up panting, with sweat pouring down my chest. I've had the dream again. Almost every night I've had the dream about the Department of Misteries, in which we're battling when suddenly, Sirius, falls through the dreaded veil. For some reason, tonight the dream seems to bother me then most other nights. The pain in my heart is almost unbearable. Suddenly I'm so overcome with my desire to see Sirius one last time, that I get a brilliant idea. The Mirror of Erised. In my first year, when I'd been longing to see my parents, I'd stumbled across it and it had showed me exactly what I'd wanted. What could I possibly want more than to see Sirius again.
Becoming hopeful, I creep silently over to my trunk and find the marauder's map. With my wand in my hand I mutter a quick 'Lumos!' that allows me to see what I'm doing.
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." I mutter while prodding it with my wand. Instantly, ink begins spilling across the wrinkled parchment, beginning to take the shape of the map of Hogwarts. My eyes search frantically for the mirror. I quickly spot it. It's in the dungeons, which means I'll have to be especially careful not to run into Snape. I just know the git would love an excuse to take points from Gryffindor before classes even began.
A few minutes later, I sneak out of Gryffindor wrapped in my invisibility cloak and the marauder's map to guide me. The walk down to the dungeons seems to go on forever. I am so intent on finding the mirror that I nearly run into Snape as I'm rounding one of the corners. I doge out of the way just in time. He stops in his tracks and looks suspiciously at the air around him. Then he shakes his head and continues on his way, while I continue on mine.
Finally, I reach the room containing the Mirror of Erised. I hastily throw my invisibility cloak, map, and wand to the floor, but I hesitate in approaching it. Would seeing Sirius again really help me, or would it just bring more pain? I'm also slightly worried about becoming addicted to the mirror again, like I had in my first year.
Sighing softly, I approach the mirror, knowing that I have to do it. When I finally reach the mirror, I nearly fall over in shock. It's not Sirius I see in the mirror, but Hermione. And suddenly a mirror image of myself appears behind her, and wraps his arms around her waist. She turns in his embrace and smiles, before kissing him. On the mouth. Mirror Hermione Granger is now kissing Mirror Harry Potter. On the mouth!
Bloody Hell!
A/n: So, what did you think? Was this chapter really boring? Did it make any sense? Please review and tell me what you thought!