Merry Christmas
It took awhile to sink in to his tired mind. If he did not pull himself up, walk across the room and get this parchment finished he would never graduate. He pulled himself out of bed and wearily stumbled over to the small wooden desk. He plopped into the chair and reached for the quill lying inside of the small glass jar of ink. He had the quill in hand held above the roll of parchment he had pulled out from the side drawer. The question remained what to actually write about. Professor Sprout asked for each of them to choose the plant they had found most interesting in their years at school and write an in depth study of its uses, abuses and side-effects, along with a detailed history of who discovered it and why.
There were a number to choose from, such as mandrake root and gillyweed for starters, but that really was not what he wanted to write about. He finally settled on the plant that had so dramatically changed his life in the past few months: mistletoe. He realized that he had no idea of who discovered or even what magic properties it might or might not have. So, he decided to write what he did know.
--- ---
Ron sat across from Harry with a peppermint candy cane dangling from his mouth.
"Luna asked me to the Yule Ball," Ron said casually.
"Are you going to go?" Harry responded.
"I wasn't at first, but you know it is our last year. So, I figure why not. What's the worst that could happen?"
"This is Luna Lovegood we're talking about," Harry chuckled. "Anything could happen."
Ron laughed, "That's true."
Ron shrugged his shoulders and continued sucking on the candy. Harry noted he actually had a little smile underneath that teenage look of concentrated apathy.
"Have you thought about asking anyone?"
Harry shook his head, "No. I really don't want to go."
Ron nodded his head in support.
"You could ask Ginny if you wanted. She was going to go with Neville, but he's still lying in bed at St. Mungos after that really amazing quidditch accident. I still say that I've never seen a bludger go out of its way to pummel an innocent bystander like that. You know darn well that Malfoy did it in retaliation for Ginny going out with Neville."
Harry tried hard to listen, but his mind had definitely been elsewhere the past few months. With Voldemort gone and nothing else to do but survive his seventh year, things should have gotten easier. It was most definitely the opposite. The minute that he no longer needed Hermione by his side every minute of every day she seemed to drift away. Her time had been spent concentrating on her studies and spending more and more time with Ginny and Luna. He tried to find excuses to spend time with her, but she would casually brush him off with complaints of being too busy. It had hurt that she had treated him that way, but what could he do. He certainly could not force her to talk to him, although to be honest the thought had crossed his mind a few times. Then there was Viktor who had been writing to her almost every day. She always seemed to make time to run up to the owlery and read whatever letter he had sent that day. Why did she never seem to have time for him?
"Listen mate, you could ask Herm…"
"No. No, I can't ask her. She won't even give me the time of day anymore. Why on earth should I go to some stupid dance with a girl who wouldn't even want to go with me anyways."
"That's not true Harry," Ron replied gently. "She thinks the world of you."
"Really? She could have fooled me."
Harry stood up.
"I have to get to going. I can't be late for McGonagall's class again. She said she would transfigure me into a small bug if I was tardy again."
"Alright then," Ron told him in a mollified voice.
Harry felt bad for brushing Ron off like that, but he did no want anyone to know how depressed he was feeling. Though to be honest, everyone who knew Harry at all could tell that something was making him deeply unhappy.
His stomach began to tighten up a little. This was the class he had with Hermione. It was the only one they had together this year. He both looked forward to it and simultaneously dreaded it. She always smelled so nice and looked so beautiful that it was hard not spending the entire class just staring at her. When they had first met she was cute, then the next few years she definitely turned quite pretty; this year she had filled into quite the lovely young woman. It's not that he did not appreciate her in years past, it was just that he had so many things on his mind and so much to worry about. He just never really 'noticed' her until recently. Always one of his two dearest friends, he just had not taken the time to appreciate her as a girl, or perhaps better as a woman.
Apparently she had not in turn 'noticed' him. Not that she should, it's just that it would have been nice. Before he realized it he was sitting in his seat waiting for her to show up. His anticipation grew with each passing moment. Then she practically burst into the room and ran to her seat. Harry whipped his head forward trying not to stare at her. Maybe Ron was right. Maybe he should ask her to the Yule Ball. They were best friends after all, it's not like she was going to out and out reject him. He swallowed, took a deep breath and turned toward her.
His face was only a few inches from her ear. Her softly wild hair fell in perfect disarray on to her shoulders.
"Hermione," he whispered," I was just wondering… would you… like to go to the Yule Ball with me?"
Hermione squealed in delight.
"Oh, Harry look!" she beamed brightly.
She was pointing to a letter she had apparently began reading. Harry looked and saw that she was reading another one of Viktor's letters. She seemed giddy with excitement.
"Harry, Viktor is sending a gift. I can't wait for it to show up. I wonder what it could be. I wish he wasn't being so secretive about it."
She was looking at Harry, but somehow looking through him or past him. She really was not 'looking' at him. Harry's heart dropped right through his stomach.
"Oh, I'm sorry Harry. Were you asking me something?"
Harry just stared at her. There was really nothing to say.
"Harry?"
Professor McGonagall cleared her throat as she began the class. Harry simply turned his head away from Hermione and stared at the front of the class. It took every ounce of energy he had to just keep his emotions in check. What was wrong with him? Why was it so hard to feel rejected by her? It's not like they were dating or anything. They had just been friends. Why was everything changing?
Harry said nothing to her for the rest of the class. When it ended he grabbed his books and exited as swiftly as he could without running.
--- ---
That afternoon Harry turned the corner and could see Hermione, Ginny and Luna with their heads together talking quietly about something. Just as Harry approached them they all burst out laughing. Harry felt his spine stiffen right up and he turned and walked away. Were they laughing at him?
"Harry? Where are you going?" Hermione called out after him.
He was not going to give her the satisfaction of seeing how hurt he was feeling. He simply kept on walking. If she had cared about him as much as she used to, she would have run after him. Instead, she just stood there watching him leave. Apparently they were not best friends anymore…
--- ---
Harry sat dejected on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. Fortunately everyone else was somewhere that was not here. So, he could just sit here and be alone with his thoughts. He was getting tired of trying to invent excuses to himself for Hermione being so excited about writing to Viktor.
He started to laugh out loud at how ridiculous it had all turned out. Things were so much better when the dark lord was still around stirring up trouble. At least then the three of them were inseparable. He felt something on his cheek and reached up to touch it. His eyes were wet. Apparently he had started crying and did not even realize it. Tomorrow night was the Yule Ball and he could care less.
Just then Ginny stepped in through the painting of the fat lady. She looked up and saw Harry.
"Harry? Why didn't you join us for dinner?"
Harry quickly wiped his eyes.
"I didn't even realize it was time to eat. That would explain why no one is here I guess."
Ginny had no illusions about the expression on Harry's face. She just felt it would not be right to embarrass him about it. He had been so distant and detached from the world since the night Voldemort was killed.
"So, Harry is there anything you wanted to talk about?"
"No, not really," he sighed.
"I don't believe you."
Ginny jumped backwards onto the couch next to Harry and set her head down on her palm.
"What's wrong?"
Harry sat there for a moment. He was not sure what he could say. If he told her too much, then it would most likely get back to Hermione. Friends are usually terrible at keeping secrets from each other.
"I… I feel like Hermione doesn't have time for me anymore. When she thought my life was in danger she devoted as much time as humanly possible to me, but now that there's no evil wizards trying to kill me… she… well… has time for everything else but me."
"I know she's been busy, but…"
"You know what happened this morning in class?"
"What?" Ginny said quietly.
"I asked her to the Yule Ball and she was more worried about some gift she was getting from Viktor Krum. Why does she have time for him? I hate that guy…"
"Harry, do me a favor. Go and ask her again."
"Why?"
"Just do it. Ask her to the Yule Ball again."
Harry was frustrated, but agreed mutely. He always was a glutton for punishment.
--- ---
Harry spent most of the night wondering why on earth he agreed to be humiliated twice in a row. As usual, his life seemed terribly out of his control. He made his way down to breakfast and saw the whole gang was already eating and talking loudly. Hermione was in her usual spot and his usual spot right across from her was sitting empty. He slowly walked around and came up behind her instead.
"Hermione, can I see you out in the hall for a moment?"
Hermione looked over her shoulder at Harry. He could not read her face at all. She seemed different to him somehow this year. She was definitely not the same girl he met seven years ago. A lot had changed since then.
"Of course Harry."
Harry's knees practically gave out from relief. He was almost afraid she would say she was too busy.
As the two of them began walking Harry reached down and grabbed her hand and gently led her out. When they had found a quiet place to talk he turned back toward her, still keeping her hand in his. He looked right into her eyes. Hers locked right back onto his.
"I still need you."
"… what?" Hermione asked.
"I still need you. Do you need me anymore?"
Hermione's eyes did not flicker or blink. She stared deep and hard at him. No words came though. Harry felt embarrassed. She was not saying anything. She really did not need him anymore. Maybe she never did. Maybe it was always him who needed her. His eyes fell and his heart went with them. He let her hand go and turned to walk away. Then her hand darted back out and grabbed his again. She held it tight and tugged on him to turn back around. He did slowly only to see tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Of course I need you Harry. I'll always need you."
"Why is Viktor more important to you than I am?" he answered with hurt in his voice.
"Viktor? No, Harry you have it all wrong. Viktor isn't important to me. Not in that way. Harry, do you know why we've been writing back and forth so much?"
"… no …" his voice a bare whisper.
"Dumbledore asked me to help arrange a school quidditch cup. Viktor teaches during the off season as a quidditch instructor at Durmstrang. I've also been in touch with a representative at Beauxbatons as well. Ever since Professor Hooch retired at the beginning of the year, I've been responsible for helping with all the administrative tasks for quidditch stuff at Hogwarts. I'm doing it as a favor for Professor McGonagall."
"What about that gift you were so excited about?"
"He is sending something significant from Durmstrang that we can display in the main hall to commemorate the event. He wouldn't tell me what it is though."
"So… you're not… seeing him?"
"Oh good grief no, Harry. You can't keep holding a tiny crush from two years ago over a girl's head. There is absolutely nothing there. Nothing at all."
A surge of relief flooded his entire body.
"Listen Harry, I know that I've been extra busy lately and I'm really sorry. It's just that with our NEWTs coming up, and all my final projects and trying to get this school cup thing set in motion for next year. I've barely had time for myself. I promise I'll make it up to you."
"Why don't you start by coming with me to the Yule Ball tonight?"
Hermione smiled warmly.
"Alright then, the Yule Ball it is."
Harry suddenly felt a whole lot better.
--- ---
Harry was waiting for Hermione in the common room. They had agreed to meet there and walk down to the ball together. He was in his dress robes and feeling pretty good about how he looked. A light swishing sound came from the stairs. Harry looked up and saw Hermione enter the room. He thought she had looked nice at the ball a couple years back, but whatever time she spent getting ready then, she had obviously tripled that for tonight. To try and describe her was a waste of words. His stunned expression apparently pleased her as she gave him a soft smile. He reached his hand out and she placed hers into his.
When they walked into the ballroom together a number of heads turned. Voices could be heard whispering things like, "It's about time," and "took them long enough."
"Care to?" Harry asked with arm stretched toward the dance floor.
"I'd love too," she replied.
With that they entered the middle of the room and began to dance. One set of hands clasped together and the other holding from behind. Each step they took their eyes looked at nothing else. Harry was nervous, but very happy. The look in Hermione's face showed much the same.
"Is there anyone else here?" Harry asked.
"No, not at all," she smiled.
--- ---
The ball was finally coming to an end. Harry and Hermione had stepped out onto the large balcony. The cool air felt good against their skin. The ballroom had become overly warm with the roaring fire and all the students dancing the evening away. A sprig of mistletoe was hanging from the archway nearby.
"Why do you think people always kiss under the mistletoe?" Harry asked aloud.
"It probably has some magical properties that leave people no choice," Hermione answered jokingly.
Harry pulled her underneath it and said, "Let's find out."
"Oh, Harry I was just kid…"
Harry leaned in and touched his lips lightly to hers. She did not pull away, so he gently pressed them together and kissed her quite seriously. The shock slowly melted from her shoulders and she reached her hands out and clasped them behind his neck. They kissed for ages underneath that archway. Long after everyone else had gone to sleep they stayed out there keeping warm in each others arms. They kissed until their mouths were simply too tired to keep going.
"Merry Christmas Harry," Hermione breathed.
"Merry Christmas," he whispered back to her.
--- ---
He laughed as he cut the section of parchment off and hid it away underneath his bed. He got carried away again and would have to start all over. Perhaps mistletoe was not the right plant to discuss in a serious paper.
He let his mind wander and he began to write again. This time he discussed the qualities of roses and how they had such a profound magical effect on a woman; especially at the Valentine's Dance…