Four Little Words

Chapter Ten

"Of course I think it's meant to be, Prongs," Sirius assured James. "You just have very rotten luck."

"But...I mean...there are only so many times a guy can try-" James sighed, head in his hands. He and Lily had made up quickly and not-too-quietly the night before, but there was still the nagging feeling of failure.

"This coming from the bloke who asked her out every day," Sirius chuckled. "Sometimes," he pulled a can of beans out of his desk drawer. "You just have to bake the beans."

"What is it with you and those damn beans?" James asked, staring at him. "And what are you doing with them?"

"Today," Sirius said, pushing the beans across the desk into James' hands. "We are going to go back to basics."

"What?"

"We're going to practice asking for marriage," Sirius said.

James picked up the beans. "With the beans?"

Sirius nodded.

"Why not use the ring?" James asked, confused.

"Because," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyone passing by could tell what you're doing if you have that ring out."

"And the fact that I keep saying, ‘Marry me Lily' over and over again might tip them off," James snorted.

"As you've been completely hopeless before, this calls for drastic measures." Sirius opened up his desk and pulled out the head of a mop, a cucumber, and two cantaloupes.

"Making a salad, are you?" James asked. Sirius ignored him and set to work. He put the two cantaloupes down his shirt and charmed them to stick to his chest. He tapped the mop head with his wand and charmed it red. Then, to James' great surprise, he plopped the red mop head on his own. He used his wand to slice off two pieces of the green cucumber and placed them over his eyes. He finally pulled a tube of Lily's shade of lipstick out of the drawer and applied it masterfully to his lips. Then he turned to James and said, in a falsetto voice, "James...Baby..."

James took one look at him and burst out laughing.

"Oi, I'm trying to help you here," Sirius said, glaring as much as he could through the cucumbers.

James opened his mouth, but all that came out was uncontrollable laughter.

"You. Look. Bloody. Ridiculous...." he gasped.

Sirius stood up and felt his way around his desk (as he could not see through the cucumbers) and plopped down on James' lap.

"Padfoot, gerrof!" James laughed, pushing half-heartedly.

"James, I don't think I'll like if you're proposing when you can't stop laughing," Sirius said, using his falsetto voice. This caused James to laugh more, putting his forehead on Sirius' shoulder for support.

"Oh...Merlin...." he shook his head. "This is...."

"Jaaaaaames," Sirius played with the mop strands.

"Stop it, stop it!" James clutched his stomach. "I can't take it anymore...."

"Now James, was there something you wanted to tell me?" Sirius asked, smoothing his shirt over the melons underneath. "You've been acting odd all evening..."

James swallowed and tried to think clearly. He supposed he'd have to at least try, if Sirius was going to dress in drag and all. "Um..." he snorted. "Lily..."

"Yeeeeeeeeeeees?" Sirius asked, playing with his "hair" and "chest."

James cracked up again, shoving Sirius off his lap so he could laugh properly. Sirius' wig had become turned around and one of the melons was much lower than the other one. He took a look at Sirius once more and then slapped the hands of his chair, wiping his eyes.

"Well, I've never!" Sirius stood up, adjusting his wig and melons.

"This isn't going to work," James shook his head. "I can't look at you without laughing."

"Look," Sirius said, using his normal voice, which was quite odd coming from the figure at hand. "I know that this isn't the best of all suits, but we've got to practice somehow."

"All right, all right," James sniffed, sitting up. "Hi..." he snorted. "Dear."

"Hellooooooooooooo Baby!" Sirius plopped down on James' lap again. "How was your day?"

"God, you aren't going to kiss me are you?" James asked.

Sirius puckered up his red lips and James tried to push him away, but gave up, because he was laughing so hard.

"....all right..." Moody said, staring at them.

Sirius turned his head, lips still puckered, and cucumbers still sticking to his eyes, and wig lop- sided on his head. James's hands fell from Sirius' face.

"When you two boys have finished," Moody continued, shaking his head. "Grab your coats."

"Take a look at the legs on that one, Prongs!" Sirius whistled quietly. James allowed himself a few seconds of oggling before looking away. Sirius may be able to do that sort of thing, but James wasn't...unless he wanted to incur the wrath of Lily.

On second thought, Dorcas seemed to be glaring daggers at her so-called shagmate.

They were out in full force tonight, every person who could be spared was up in the top floor of an old abandoned building overlooking a hopping night spot. Drunken Muggles, blissfully unaware of the danger that surrounded them, stumbled from one door to the other, clinging to each other for support.

Of course, high above, the Aurors had a nice areal view of every one of them, and some, like Sirius were enjoying the sights.

"Take a look at the tits on that one!" Sirius whistled poking his head out of the building. "Whatdya think?"

James dared a look; Lily was back at the safe house. He followed Sirius' eye sight and whistled as well. "I'd say they're fake." He quickly pulled his head back in before one of Lily's friends told her that he was oggling some half-dressed Muggle and he'd be in a world of trouble.

Then again, Dorcas was glaring daggers at Sirius, so James decided to let his friend in on it.

"Padfoot," James whispered, looking over to Dorcas, who was looking very put out indeed. "You don't need to be doing that too loud."

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

"Dorcas, mate, she's giving you dirty looks," James nodded towards her.

"Oh..." Sirius frowned. "Why?"

"Probably because you're gawking at the skimpy tarts down below?" James tried.

Sirius blew through his lips. "Bloody woman. Ever since we went to go see her mother, she's been all clingy."

"Maybe she's ready for a real relationship?" James shrugged.

Sirius looked aghast. "If that's what she's after, then she can go find someone else."

"You aren't going to break up with her-?"

"There's nothing to break up, Prongs," Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'll tell her to stop coming over."

"You sure you want to do that?" James asked, looking out the window again.

"We'll see...if she asks to start dating, then definitely yes."

"Why are we here again?" James asked, putting his head against the window, bored.

"Because Dung's business partner's brother's girlfriend's sister has a roommate that is the daughter of someone who works for Nott," Sirius said, thoughtfully. "Or is it Dung's brother's business partner's girlfriend's daughter has a roommate...oh, hell I can't remember."

James stared at him and then shrugged. "Well, I suppose that's better than usual."

Sirius nodded and looked over to Moody who was drinking out of his hip flask cautiously. Sirius sniggered and pulled out the red mop head and put his head.

James peered over to Moody; he'd blow a gasket if he caught James and Sirius goofing off. But, Sirius was blowing kisses at him and playing with his hair in much the same fashion Lily always did. James grinned and took the wig from Sirius, putting it on his head and adjusting it.

"You've still got a bit of lipstick on there, Siri-poo," James sniggered, rubbing his hand along Sirius' face while adjusting the wig.

"Do you think that's what your kids are going to look like?" Sirius whispered, kicking at him "‘Cause they'd be really ugly."

"Hey!" James kicked him back. "No children of my loins will be ugly."

"Well, if they resemble their mother," Sirius said, grabbing the wig from James. James kicked him and tugged at the wig to get it back. Sirius kicked him back and pulled hard on the wig. They soon engaged in a kicking war and Sirius was getting the upperhand of the wig, when a shadow crossed their faces.

"Having fun, are we?" Moody grunted. James and Sirius dropped the wig and stopped kicking each other. Moody was glowering. "Do you think this is a game or something?"

"No sir," they muttered.

"Then why-"

Pop!

Moody whirled around ready to hex whatever it was that had Apparated into their hiding spot, but he soon lowered his wand. It was no villian; it was a fellow Ministry worker, very out of breath. He was having difficulties telling them exactly what he needed to tell them.

"They...not here...." he gasped.

"Who?" Dorcas asked.

"St. Petersberg place.... dark wizards..." he managed to get out, and at once, all of the Aurors Disapparated.

The first thing that came into an Auror's mind when he or she appeared on the scene of a dark wizard attack was the intense hope that they were not the only one who decided to show up. In that one second of first thought, when one is about to face their possible death, the Auror always hoped that he or she would not have to face it alone.

This second passed into the next with a feeling of intense energy and determination to make it out alive. Then the third second was used to survey the area for the first individual battle. Then time regained it's normal speed and the war of survival began.

James and Sirius chose to attack two familiar dark wizards. Not because one of them was the shortest of all of the Death Eaters, or because the other was of the same height as Sirius, but because they were using the Crutacious curse, and were obviously very skilled in its usage.

Sirius flung his wand out and knocked both of their wands from their target, while James came around the other side to attack them from behind. The two were stunned for a minute, but then turned their attention away from the small child and towards their new enemies.

"No Mudblood with you today?" cooed a woman from the shorter hood. "What's a matter, Potter? Trying to pwotect her?" She shrieked a hex James way, but he deflected it easily.

"Lily could kick your arse into next Thursday without breaking a sweat, Bellatrix," James sneered.

"I'd love to see her try," came the voice of the taller hood, throwing hexes. "Of course, if she keeps cowering away from the battlefield, it leaves some room for talk."

James clenched his teeth, but would not answer, knocking hexes back his way. It was true that Lily had not been on a real battle field in some time; but if the dark wizards found out where the safe house was, everyone would be in a lot of trouble.

Beside him, he heard Sirius cry out, but then grit his teeth angrily. Where every normal person would go to the safe house for a quick check up after they were hurt, Sirius would only go when others dragged him kicking and screaming.

Though, now that the enemy knew he was hurt, they both attacked him at once while his guard was down. James was able to deflect one of them, but the other sent Sirius spiraling to the ground. Bellatrix raised her wand to cast the finishing blow when she herself was knocked off her feet.

Remus came running up beside them to fend off Rodolphus. He turned to yell at James, "Get him out of here," before turning his attention fully back on the subject at hand.

James lifted Sirius up by his arm and looked to him. "Do you think you can Apparate?"

"I don't need to go anywhere," Sirius grunted. "I'm fine." Then he felt at his back and grimaced.

"Answer me," James said, sternly.

Sirius sighed, defeated. "Yes."

"Come on then," James said, picking up their wands and Disapparating.

When they arrived at the safe house, Lily was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. She'd flit from one person to the next, handing out potions and healing with quick spells or telling people that they were no longer fit to go into battle. She came across Sirius and the smallest hint of a smile graced her face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, laying him back on the bed. He winced and groaned. Though he'd play off that nothing was wrong for the rest of his life, when time was short, he was willing to shed his ego and tell the truth.

"I got thrown on my back, I'm feeling a bit numb in my finger," Sirius said, holding it up. Lily prodded it and then turned him over so she could examine his back.

"No where else?" she asked, touching the spine deftly.

"Nope," Sirius said.

"I want you to go to St. Mungo's. Back injuries take a highly specialized spell that I don't know how to do yet," Lily said, helping him sit up.

"Lily!" Sirius exclaimed, aghast.

"Just to make sure it's nothing worse," Lily said, brushing her hair out of her face. She looked to James, who was still standing there. "Are you ok, too?"

"Yeah, just wanted one of these," he leaned in and kissed her cheek and then Disapparated before Lily could take a swipe at him for wasting time.

Upon returning to the battle field, James saw Remus was joined by Emmeline and fighting with Rodolphus and Bellatrix. Looking around to see if anyone needed his help, he spotted Dorcas fending off two people while shielding what looked to be a dead body and several Stunned bodies. When he got closer, he saw that one was a fellow Auror, though James could not remember his name, and he was indeed dead, and the others were Muggles put under the Imperious curse, probably to distract Dorcas. Though it was widely known that Dorcas was the best breaker of that particular Unforgivable.

Even so, she was looking a bit worse for wear, so James jumped in beside her to fight the enemies. Sirius showed up next to them, breathing hard, but giving it his all. James was sure that he hadn't gone to St. Mungo's, but it gave Dorcas the chance to get to the safe house for a breather.

"Could you kill your own family member, Black?" came the silky voice of Lucius Malfoy.

"Easily," Sirius growled, and James hoped that Dorcas would return soon, because Sirius was not going to last that much longer.

"What about your own brother?" His eyes glinted happily under his mask. Sirius paused for a second, staring at him.

"Y..." he started, but then closed his mouth. James looked over to him for a second, but then turned his attention back to the dark wizard he was fighting when a hex came very near to his cheek.

"He has already sworn his allegiance," Lucius continued. "By the end of term, he shall get his Dark Mark. Then, if you meet him in battle, would you kill him?"

"You'd better worry about your own hide," James growled at him, sending a hex so close it singed his clothes. Lucius was about to reply in kind, when a clock in the middle of the square struck four times. The Death Eaters all Disapparated in a single, unanimous, pop.

"Padfoot-" James turned to him.

"Don't talk to me," Sirius winced, putting his hand on his back and falling to his knees. "I think my back is broken."