The Confession of Hermione Granger

Author’s Note:  First, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far.  It’s amazing the number of long reviews I have gotten, detailing the things people liked and hated about the story.

In addition to entertaining, I think it is every writer’s goal to write something that will stir the emotions and feelings of their readers.  From the reviews I have received so far, I believe I accomplished that with this story.

I feel I need to justify this story in some way.  There are those who do not see this as an H/Hr story and should not be posted here on Portkey.  I apologize if you feel that way, but I must respectfully disagree.  This is an H/Hr story because ultimately their feelings for each other were made known.  Hermione loved Harry all along, and he loved her.

I know that some people are mad because I put Hermione with Ron while poor Harry suffered alone.  As hard as you might find it to believe, I felt the same anger and frustration at the girl when I was writing it as you did reading it.  I don’t like R/Hr stories, especially where she and Ron consumate their relationship.  That’s why this was so hard for me to write.

Many have said that Hermione would never have gone out with Ron if she still had feelings for Harry, let alone sleep with him.  I answered one reviewer this way, but I feel I need to explain that a little further for everyone to read.  To me, Hermione has always had low self-esteem issues when it comes to her relationships.  In the books, she only has three real friends; Harry, Ron and Ginny.  No other boy even looks at her as a girl except for Viktor Krum in GOF.  In this story, the only boy she has ever loved has pushed her away.  It’s obvious to her that Harry wants nothing to do with either her or Ron.  In a moment of weakness, she accepts Ron’s offer of a date.  For someone who has never really had a boy show interest in her, this is a boost to her ego.  She decides to go out with Ron, even though her heart lies elsewhere.  We humans do strange things when we are lonely.

I have had this same situation happen to me.  I had a crush on this girl in high school, but she never paid any attention to me.  We went out once, but it ended in disaster.  That didn’t prevent me from still having a crush on her, though.  Then, another girl said she liked me and wanted to go out with me.  I said yes, even though I wasn’t really into her.  We dated for nearly three months, and during that time, I forgot about my crush on the other girl.  When we broke up, my feelings for the first girl resurfaced.  I’m looking at Hermione’s situation as something similar.

There were those who said that Hermione would never abandon Harry.  Keep in mind, he abandoned she and Ron first.  Despite their best efforts, Harry pushed them away, not the other way around.  He was always gone off by himself, leaving them alone with each other.  In a way, he is just as responsible for them getting together as they are.

I also feel I need to address the issue of Ron and Hermione sleeping together.  I needed that to happen for two reasons.  First, it gives Harry a reason not to want to come back, which increases the dramatic tension when he dies in Hermione’s arms.  Second, I needed Hermione to have a reason to be remorseful.  Just going out with Ron would not do that.  For her to take that next step, changed her life forever.  It’s not something she can go back and erase.  For the record, I also hate stories in which Ron and Hermione have sex.  To quote an old Southern saying:  “That ain’t right!”.  But it was necessary.

The only consolation to this story is that Hermione finally acknowledges she was wrong, and that her feelings were for Harry the whole time.  Remember there were many times she fantasized about being with Harry, even though it was Ron kissing her.  Even when she and Ron had sex, she didn’t enjoy it until she thought about being with Harry.  I think many people are only looking at the fact that she slept with Ron and forget that she imagined it was Harry she was making love to.

I hope that this explains the story, and my reasons for writing it, a little bit better.  I also hope that if people read this, they will not be as upset at the outcome.

Thanks,

Talion