Her Duty
Prologue:
She wasn't sure when it had first happened, and she didn't want to search her memories too closely to discover it for fear of what she would find. But, it had happened, and her mind had become so attuned to his that she would stop in the middle of reading a book, speaking, anything, and know that he needed her.
It wasn't like Hermione Granger to be afraid of anything anymore, she had faced horrors some couldn't imagine, yet she knew exactly what shape her Boggart would take. No more failed exams, or imperfect scores, it would simply be an empty space - the space where Harry should be. It wasn't so much that she feared his death for deep down she was certain that he would survive, she had to believe that he was capable of killing Voldemort, she was really afraid of what Harry would become.
Sitting awake, the curtains drawn around her bed, she remembered finding him in the garden of Grimmauld Place that night shortly before they had begun their final year at Hogwarts. He hadn't reacted when she sat down beside him and after several moments she became curious and moved to sit opposite him. He appeared to staring at a fixed point in space, yet when she had seen his eyes a gasp had escaped her mouth. There was no light in his eyes, they were barely even their trademark green colour. It was as if his body was empty, his soul had gone and he could not see her. Hermione had reached out and shaken him until he seemed to snap back. It appeared that he had no memory of it even in the seconds after the event.
Hermione's greatest fear was that Harry would vanish again, and this time he wouldn't come back. So, every time he needed her, and even if he thought he didn't she was determined to be there to shake him back. It was the most important thing in her life right now. She shook her lightly and thought how her teachers and friends would never believe that Hermione Granger, Head Girl and first class student, had found something more important in her life. If she could keep Harry around then he could fulfil his duty. Saving him was her duty.
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Hermione pretended to concentrate on the Arithmancy essay sitting in front of her, but it was a lost cause. She knew that Ron was really reading a copy of Quiddich Weekly that he'd hidden behind his potions textbook, but she wasn't in the mood to remind him of their impending exams. Harry wasn't in the Common Room with them. He'd received a note during dinner and had left the Great Hall without a word.
Hermione glanced around her surreptitiously before lifting her textbook to reveal a piece of old parchment underneath. She was momentarily relieved to see that Harry was still in Dumbledore's office with the Headmaster himself according to the Marauders Map. Harry was still in the castle, no other members of the Order were present. The last few times they'd received bad news another member of the Order was also present as Dumbledore told Harry. However, Hermione's senses were alerted today, she just felt it would be bad news of some kind…it seemed so long ago that they had had any good news at all.
Hearing Ron sigh, Hermione pulled herself back to the present and summoned Ron's magazine from him with a forced grin. He looked up in surprise and smiled sheepishly when he saw the magazine in Hermione's hand.
"I know, We all need a break from studying now and again…" Hermione teased repeating one of Ron's much-uttered catchphrases. Ron stuck his tongue out at her and in a falsetto voice declared, "Yes Ronald, but your study periods really ought to be longer than the breaks you know…"
Hermione laughed despite the appalling impression of herself. She'd lightened up her attempts to get Harry and Ron working over the last year, they really did have enough to worry about already, and when it came down to it Ron really did best by cramming at the last minute anyway.
"He still in with Dumbledore?" Ron asked quietly. Hermione looked up as she remembered just how quietly observant Ron could be. She nodded in response to his question.
"Just them today?"
"So far."
Hermione gave up the pretence of work and leant back in her chair, stretching her arms above her head and yawning.
"He's even more distracted this week." Ron commented. Hermione could only nod in agreement.
"Do you think there's something he's keeping from us? Like when he kept the prophecy from us?"
Ron considered her question.
"I don't know…I can't shake the feeling that something else is going. He's staring into space more often."
"Exactly."
They sighed in unison and shared a sad smile.
"Fancy a game of chess?" Hermione smiled, grateful for the distraction.
"Sure."
They were onto their second game and the Common Room was virtually empty when Hermione could no longer ignore Ron's internal debate. He kept half opening his mouth as if to speak, and then seeming to think better he closed it again. She leant forward slightly and quietly said his name. He looked up and they studied one another for a moment.
"We've both been dancing around this for ages. I think it's time we talked properly." Ron paused and looked at his best friend closely as if seeing if they were really going to talk openly about it.
"Is there…is there anything he's said that I should know? Well, has he said anything at all? My role in our friendship has always been light relief, we all know that, but sometimes it means Harry doesn't share things, and I don't want to throw him off by suddenly coming over all serious."
"He's angry. I think he's more angry than scared right now. He hasn't said it but I worry that he's not angry enough at Voldemort because he's still angry at himself. Every time we get news that someone else has suffered he thinks it wouldn't have happened if he could have ended this earlier…and there's Sirius and Cedric…" Hermione didn't need to say any more on those subjects, she and Ron had both lived through the traumatic events.
"You always know what to say…and when he needs you." Ron said softly.
"I just don't know what to do to help…I want so desperately to help." Hermione said, her voice cracking as she rested her head in her hands. Ron reached over and placed a hand on her arm.
"You do help `Mione. You help more than you'll ever know." She looked up and saw her own anguish mirrored in his eyes and she realised he too had seen Harry at his very worst.
"Did you…did you ever tell anyone how you had seen him?" Ron asked.
Hermione shook her head.
"You?"
"No."
"There was just nothing there…" Hermione whispered.
"I know. I had to hit him to get him back. I just didn't know what to do in the end…it felt like…well…"
"Like next time it wouldn't be so easy to get him back." Hermione finished for him - finally speaking her greatest fear aloud. Ron nodded sadly in agreement before standing and wrapping an arm around her shoulders in comfort.
"I'm going to try and get some sleep." Ron said with a yawn. Hermione stood and they began gathering up their scattered books and papers. As Ron picked up her Arithmancy book to hand her he froze and immediately Hermione's eyes followed Ron's to the tattered piece of parchment below. They instinctively moved closer to one another. Moody, Tonks, Lupin and Snape had joined Harry and Dumbledore on the map.
"It's happening." Ron whispered shakily.
They retreated to the privacy of Hermione's study in silence, each of them processing the news. After several minutes of staring at the fire Hermione needed a change of subject and focus.
"Are you taking Luna to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
Ron looked up and Hermione smiled to see his eyes light up at the sound of Luna's name.
"Unless, well, unless something happens, or we're needed."
Hermione nodded her understanding.
"It's going to be very soon." Hermione gave up trying to avoid the subject, and acknowledging that the presence of all the key members of the Order signalled something significant. Glancing at the map again they watched as the dot labelled `Harry Potter' moved from Dumbledore's office and made its way through the school. Neither spoke until Harry entered the Room of Requirement. Hermione wiped the map clean and handed it to Ron.
"I guess there's nothing else we can do tonight. He needs to be by himself for a bit. He'll let us know when he needs us." Hermione said, suddenly feeling more tired than she could ever remember feeling, the significance of the evenings events sinking in.
Long after Ron had left the study and gone to bed, Hermione sat at her desk staring at her hands in hope of inspiration.
The power the Dark Lord knows not…what did Harry have that Riddle didn't?" She didn't feel the tears that fell from her eyes as she sat and thought. Her eyes began searching the room for answers, flitting about so quickly, barely focusing on the objects around her. Scanning the images in her mind as she stared at her hands once more something clicked. She stood so quickly her chair toppled over backwards, she left it where it lay and rushed over to the portrait hole, just to the left of the exit was a large plaque engraved with the names of every Head Girl. Hermione lightly ran her fingers over the familiar letters of `Lily Evans'.
How could she not have thought of it before? Grabbing her cloak, her bag and her wand Hermione rushed out of the study, through the Common room and out into the castle.
Madam Pince nodded and smiled to find her most frequent customer already in the locked library when she opened up on Saturday morning. Hermione was sitting surrounded by a large pile of books when a noise alerted her to the librarians presence. She was shocked to realise it was morning already, the night had passed so quickly as she had searched for the answers she needed. Why couldn't she find what she was looking for? And why hadn't she thought of it before?
By lunchtime Hermione could focus no longer. She had been through so many books but she could find no reference to the spell she so needed to understand. She rested her head in her hands before standing shakily and started as she caught sight of a reflection in a window opposite her. There was a woman standing beside Hermione in the reflection, a tall woman with red hair. She whipped around to find no one anywhere near her in the library.
"I really need to get some food and a nap." She muttered to herself before turning to pick up the few books she had yet to get to. Her hand hovered over the top of the pile, shaking as she reached out to pick up the small volume on the top of the pile which hadn't been there a moment before. Hermione glanced all around her once more, and stared at the window where she now saw only her own reflection. She sank uncertainly into her chair, opened the book and began to read.
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