Knowing There Is Only Now

Knowing There Is Only Now

By coven

Rated: PG

Summary: Hermione finds out that there is a fine line between dreams and reality when she receiver her first kiss from a mystery person.

Disclaimer: This is a Harry Potter fan fiction. Standard disclaimers apply.

Chapter V: Slippin' Away

Harry knew that there was something wrong when he saw Hermione sitting, with her forehead wrinkled in deep thought. She was holding something in her left hand, but he could not see what it was. He started to become nervous, as he noticed that she had once again started to bite her fingernails - a habit that she had overcome almost a year ago. She knew something.

Hermione's heart was thumping wildly in her chest. It was not just because Harry was there, but as soon as she saw him and the wristband, she knew.

“Missed me already?” Harry asked, sauntering towards her.

Hermione looked up at him, her face remaining thoughtful.

“Harry,” she said quietly. “Humour me for a while okay?”

“Okay,” Harry said, sitting on the desk. There were very few students who were frequent in the library, and he knew Celery would not mind.

“You were playing quidditch the other night right?” Hermione asked, observing Harry. “Who were with you?”

“Pickle, Malfoy, Potter, Edwards, Bierce , Oslo, and McAllister. Quite few.”

“What time did you finish?”

“Around 11:00.”

“Where was everyone after that?”

“I don't know,” Harry answered with a shrug. “Most of us headed back to the dorms.”

“And how about the others?”

“I don't know,” he said tightly.

Hermione smiled wryly.

“I thought you already asked them?”

“I did!” Harry replied, feeling a little slighted.

Hermione sighed. She hated the questioning. She knew she could just ask him straight, but for some reason she did not want to hear his answer, lest she be disappointed with it. And so she continued with the pretence of interrogation.

“What were you wearing?”

“What?”

“Humour me,” she said absently. She was giving him the chance to speak. Why was he acting innocently? “What were you wearing?”

“Plainclothes. “

“What's that?” Hermione pointed at the wristband.

“This?” Harry asked, looking down at his hand. “It's for the team.”

“Since when did you have it?”

“A month?” Harry said, uncomfortably. Sweat was pooling under his collar.

“Seems you're not sure,” Hermione smirked.

“Huh?”

“Care to explain?”

Hermione threw the red wristband to Harry. He caught it and stared at it, dumbfounded.

“Where did you find this?” he asked, looked up at Hermione and found a steely coolness in her demeanour.

“I didn't,” she said standing up. “Celery gave it to me, said she saw it under my desk the night before. Lord was here too.”

When Harry did not answer, she continued, “It's one of you people.”

Harry did not like where this was leading.

“Are you implying something?” he said, facing her.

“Maybe.”

“If you have something to say then tell it to me straight,” he said, preparing himself for the worst. But it did not save him from the torment he felt as soon as he saw Hermione's face fell, and the dimness in her eyes that the knowledge of his betrayal had cost.

“You…” she said, boring a finger at his chest, accusing him. “I knew something wasn't right. You held me back. I knew you weren't asking people. “

“I'm sorry,” was all he could say.

“My God!” Hermione cried out, not caring if they were in the library “You do know something. I can't believe this. And you didn't trust me enough. Admit it Harry, you knew something.”

“You wouldn't understand,” he said, and inside he knew that she would not. Even if he told her the truth.

Hermione looked at him. She knew it was an admission. Of what? Could she dare hope? Was it he? Or was he just a part of this…joke?

“You know who it is,” she spat out. “You know who it is! Damn it, Harry you knew and you didn't say a word! Don't tell me this is about male creed or something because I won't buy it… “

“Save yourself the trouble and cast the revealing charm,” Harry said.

Hermione wanted to cry, but she would not. Not when Harry himself was being adamantly stubborn. Why was he making it hard for her? If he knew something then why had not he told her? Why would he forsake eight years of friendship just for this?

“Because I wanted to hear the truth from you,” she said.

“Hermione…” Harry could not bear the hurt in her voice. But he could not. He just could not!

“Save it...” Hermione said with finality. “ I just want to get this over and done with. Demonstro Apa…”

“No!”

It was Harry who cried out. Hermione, wand in mid-air, looked at him in horror. Harry looked down at the floor; he was finding it hard to breathe.

“Harry?” Hermione's voice broke.

“I'm sorry…”

“I see that you found my wristband.”

Hermione turned her head at the intruder.

“Malfoy,” Harry muttered under his breath.

Draco walked towards them. It did not seem to matter if he had just walked in an argument. Hermione perceived the lack of band on his left wrist, but did not notice the meaningful look Draco gave Harry.

“This is yours?” Hermione asked, her head painfully throbbing at the confusion of the situation.

“Yes,” he said getting the band from her now-limp hand and put it on his own wrist. “I suppose I left it the other night.”

Hermione's eyes went ablaze.

“You…,” she accused. “You kissed me?”

Silence ensued. Draco met Harry's eyes, and waited. He saw Harry's gaze drop. Draco did not want to do it, but if it was the only thing that could…

“Yes,” he answered, simply.

Hermione's chest was heaving with emotion; she was trying very hard not to give in to the rage brewing inside of her. She went to him and slapped him across the cheek with all her might.

“Draco Malfoy, of all the underhanded things you could ever do! You beast, you… Why? Just tell me one good reason why!”

Draco wiped the blood that trickled from his mouth. Oh yes, Harry Potter owed him.

“Because I wanted to,” he said to Hermione.

“Because you wanted to…” she repeated.

“Because I like you,” Draco said, making Harry wince.

“And I'm supposed to believe that?” Hermione scoffed.

“I don't suppose you will,” Draco said with a shrug. “But that's the best one I've got, and it's the truth.”

“Malfoy…”

Finally, Harry found his voice.

“Please Potter,” Draco sneered. “Don't act so self-righteously about it.”

“Tell me something Draco, were you ever going to tell me?” Hermione said, chin pointed up, her eyes met Draco's levelly.

And Draco met her stare equally.

“Yes,” he said.

Hermione did not know what she was feeling at the moment. It was all too much…

“Hermione…”

“And you…,” Hermione turned to face Harry. “What is your role in this farce?”

Hermione saw the set look in Harry's eyes. She knew by his reaction that he felt sorry and that he did not like having to lie to her, but they were not enough reasons for her to absolve him. Especially since she did not know for what she was supposed to be absolving him. All she knew that Harry was still hiding something from her, and that fact was tearing her to pieces, which was worse than the crushed hope that her mystery kisser was indeed him.

“Harry,” she said sadly, stepping back as Harry made a move towards her. “My best friend, has been hiding something from me. I guess that disappoints me the most.”

With that she walked out.

“Malfoy,” he said, anger making his hand shook as he drew his wand and pointed it at the other man.

Draco merely smirked at him in challenge.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you Potter,” he said. “I was telling the truth, even if it was my own version of it. It's more than what I can say of you.”

Harry paled at this, and knew he was right.

“If you hurt her Malfoy,” he said softly. “If you as so much make her unhappy…”

Draco Malfoy laughed.

“So are you giving up on her just like that?”

Harry's eyes narrowed.

“Sod off,” he said, and with heavy steps walked out of the room.

“I take you neither for a coward nor a quitter Potter,” Draco's mocking voice followed him. “You disappoint me.”

Harry did not as so much stop.

“Not as much as I'm disappointed with myself…”

*tried to make you feel

what lovin' ought to feel

for you it's not the same

you threw it all away

so there you go into the wild open

slippin' away

you're slippin' away from me *

Slippin Away by Cynthia Alexander

A/N:

1. Before you start flaming me, just one reminder: There are still 2 chapters left, and even more things to be revealed!

2. Thanks to Atiqah for the beta reading! Once again, I'd like to thank those who have read and reviewed. I mighty appreciate it!