Unofficial Portkey Archive

Summary: A very sad songfic that takes place during Christmas, one year after Harry Potter died during the battle against Voldemort. Hermione reflects on the love she lost and also on how that love will never die.

Disclamer: I do not in any way own Harry Potter. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling and whoever else in involved with the books and the movies. I am merely a fan who enjoys writing about the characters. The song, 'To Where You Are' by Josh Groban, I do not own either, it is merely used for the sake of the story. (I do recommend listening to this song while reading the story, it makes the story seem that much more emotional.)

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It was an extremely beautiful but cold night in the middle of December. The full moon overheard sent it's sparkling silver light to shine on the thick snow below, making it look like millions of diamonds were embedded in the ground. Hundreds of thousands of stars twinkled brightly within the dark velvety sky they were nestled in. The lake was frozen over with a thick layer of ice and the trees of the Forbidden Forest surrounding were glazed thinly with ice. It was a gorgeous sight to behold and anyone thought if they stared too long, the perfect picture would shatter and disappear.

Inside the castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it looked almost as beautiful as it did outside. The school was decorated brightly, with icicles that magically didn't melt and fairy lights hanging from the stair railings and ceilings, large decorated evergreens standing in almost every available place, and holly berries and garland were strung across on almost every piece of wall. Of all the rooms though, the Great Hall was the one that looked the most breathtaking, with snow falling gently from the enchanted ceiling, huge Christmas trees, hung heavily with ornaments and tinsel, spaced evenly around the perimeter, beautiful white lights hung from every available space, and never melting ice structures.

It was only a few weeks until Christmas and the atmosphere around the place hung with excitement. The students that had remained were having an absolutely grand time enjoying the castle mostly to themselves, running around playing games like, Exploding Snap and Wizard Chess within the halls or running outside to jump into a large pile of snow. The teachers, who normally would have asked for a bit more calm, were letting the students get away with their antics. Everyone needed this time to just enjoy themselves because only a year before, at this same exact time, the mood in the Wizard and Muggle world had been completely somber and filled with darkness.

At the beginning of the school year previous, Voldemort, the Dark Lord who had risen again only two years earlier and who had kept mostly quiet until then, had made a sudden and destructive appearance. Beauxbatons, another school of learning Witchcraft and Wizardry that was located in France, had been struck by Voldemort and his ban of Death Eaters during the night and had been completely destroyed, killing all the occupants within as well. When news was heard of the mindless slaughtering of innocent people, an uproar was made and war was immediately called on Voldemort and his people. Hogwarts had been shut down and the Ministry of Magic had called on witches and wizards to join them in the fight. Several students and teachers from Hogwarts had gone as well. The year that included the war involved some of the darkness moments that had ever taken place in the history of the Magic and Muggle worlds.

In the month of December, the year before, the war had ended, with the destruction of Voldemort and many of his Death Eaters, but a terrible price had come with that defeat. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, who had been destined to fight Voldemort from the beginning, was the one who brought him down, but he sacrificed his own life as well. The Light Side had been overjoyed when they heard Voldemort was defeated but ultimate sadness hit them soon after when they learned that the young Harry Potter, their hero, had died as well.

Now, a year later, some of the grief of people had worn off and they were trying to rebuild their lives and bring back the happier times while never trying to forget the memories of the brave people that had died. Everyone was trying to move on.

Hermione Granger, a 7th year in Gryffindor, could not move on though, no matter how hard she tried. A part of her had died as well that fateful day one year ago.

At that moment, she was sitting by one of the tall windows in the Gryffindor Common Room, frozen in place and staring blankly at the beautiful scene below her. Her and Harry had only been together a little over a year before he was taken from her, but the love they felt for each other was beyond anything else Hermione would ever feel again for another. He had been her heart and soul that had kept her living each day and brought joy to her every moment.

Who can say for certain
maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
your memories so clear

Her brown eyes began to water with tears as she began to remember all those memories that included him. Harry had been taken from her long before he should have been and now she was suffering because of it. Hermione closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she tried to create in her mind a perfect picture of how she knew Harry. His beautiful emerald green eyes filled with so much emotion, especially love when he had looked at her, his forever untamable raven black hair that made him look so adorable, and that smile that made her melt every time it was directed at her. More tears began to slowly trail down Hermione's cheeks as she kept remembering him, everything he said and did was ingrained in her mind forever.

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
you're still an inspiration
can it be

that you are my
forever love
and you are watching over me from up above

When Harry had been alive all he did was protect her, wanting no harm to come to her in any way. What Harry hadn't known was that protecting her and saving her, had been the worst thing because Hermione had never known as much pain as this.

Harry had died because Voldemort had taken her captive and he fought Voldemort to save her life until both wizards killed each other. Hermione had never forgotten the last words Harry had spoken to her the moment before he fell. His head had turned to where she was lying on the ground, his wand was raised and pointing at Voldemort and he fixed her with his loving gaze before uttering, "I will love you forever Hermione and will always be with you. Never forget that." Then the curses were shouted and Hermione's screams of horror and agony could be heard throughout the entire area.

Hermione felt that Harry was still with her at times. Sometimes though, she felt incredibly alone. Was Harry truly watching over her every moment? Was he there with her at all times? Did he still love her as he did when he was alive? Had he been true to the promise he had given to her one year ago? Was he keeping her safe and protecting her even if he couldn't fully be there?

Whenever Hermione did feel Harry with her, she was content to just sit in a room entirely by herself and just feel his presence with her, calming her and making her happier for just a little while. It was like he was her Guardian Angel and knowing this made her feel better.

Fly me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for awhile
to know you're there
a breath away's not far
to where you are

Having Harry's presence with her was not enough for Hermione though. She wanted him back so desperately, she ached for him each day and couldn't believe she had lasted this long without him. She wanted to see him once more, she wanted to look into his eyes again and see him smile at her one last time.

Hermione hugged her knees to her chest and began rocking back and forth, squeezing her eyes shut, the tears flowing more freely. She just needed to know that Harry was truly there, that he was waiting for her and that his love for her was still as strong as ever, even in death. She knew hers had never faded and never would.

Are you gently sleeping
here inside my dream
and isn't faith believing
all power can't be seen

Since the day Harry had died, Hermione's love for him had remained as strong as ever and she knew that she could never move on, she would never find another, and she didn't want to. Her heart belonged to Harry alone and no one else could take his place. They were connected in so many ways, they had given each other their heart and souls and that was not something you could replace.

Each day, Harry had taught her how to love and be loved and she was forever grateful that she got to experience how to love with him. She couldn't imagine giving that love she felt to anyone but him.

Cause you are my
forever love
watching me from up above

As Hermione sat in the Common Room, tears still falling from her eyes, she realized Harry did love her and would never leave her, ever. She was silly for thinking that maybe it had all changed because he had died, leaving her all alone. Their love would forever live on and endure all things, conquering ever the biggest obstacle, death. He was her angel from above that had been sent for a short while and then been taken back to continue loving her from Heaven.

Even though the pain of losing Harry still remained with her, she was beginning to feel comforted in the fact that he would be there forever and that he would forever keep to his promise until the day she finally died and they met again in Heaven.

Hermione slowly opened her eyes, the tears not coming as frequently, and stared again at the snowy sight below. A feeling of love and comfort began to fill her and she knew that Harry was with her again, like he always was and always would be. Hermione finally knew he had been with her every moment, she was just too filled with grief to notice before.

Fly me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for awhile
to know you're there
a breath away's not far
to where you are

Hermione slowly raised her eyes up to the sky and a small smile graced her face as she stared at the silver beauty of the moon and the heavens surrounding it.

"I know you're with me Harry," she spoke in a soft voice, "I know you always will be and I will never forget you. I love you more than anything in this world and I will never stop loving you. I will continue living on but I will forever look forward to the day that I can see you again and then we will be together for all of eternity."

Hermione smiled again, more content with herself than ever before. She slowly stood and began to walk towards the door to leave the Common Room, to join her friends and try to enjoy Christmas. No one would ever take the place of Harry in her heart, her love would forever stay, but she knew that she had to keep living and remembering him until that day they finally met again.

Hermione looked back at the empty room one last time before she left through the portrait hole. "I love you Harry Potter. Now and for always," she said softly.

The entire time Hermione had been there, Harry had been there as well, watching her and trying to send his love to her any way he could. He smiled sadly, knowing that even though he couldn't truly be with Hermione right now, he would wait for her and keep his promise with her always. There love would never break, he knew that for sure.

"I love you too, Hermione Granger. Now and for always."

I know you're there
a breath away's not far
to where you are